What is the funniest thing you've ever said?

[yuri_san]

I want to know! Reply with your answer; it can be something witty, stupid, or something so un-funny that it turned out to be hilarious.

I'll tell you the funniest thing I've ever said (that I can think of.)

One boring day, I typed "rapist" into the dictionary on my macbook's dashboard. This is what came up:

Comments

[poisonpixel]

Your jokes suck, beat these:

A fireman runs into a classroom holding a screwdriver and yells: "Quick, everyone get out. This is not a drill!"

[yuri_san]

what do you call cheese that isn't yours?
nacho cheese.
(say it out loud)

+

What Do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you told her twice.

[poisonpixel]

A woman was on her bed in the maternity hospital in labour. She was pushing and pushing, puffing and panting, all to the encouragement of the midwife. On her final push the midwife took the baby turned and headed to another room, on the way she dropped the baby on its head. "OH MY GOD, MY BABY!!!" cried the mother. The midwife turned to look at the mother and accidently stood on the baby's head. "JESUS CHRIST! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY" the mother screamed, tears pouring from her eyes. The midwife realised her mistake and lifted her foot off causing the baby to slide into the wall. "YOU ARE CRAZY! GIVE ME MY BABY" the mother shouted, getting herself into a state. The midwife then proceeded to pick the baby up and in one movement she threw it out the window. "OH MY GOD! I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT! YOU ARE INSANE! MY POOR BABY! YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON!" the mother screamed breaking down in tears. The midwife then turned and said "April fools, it was already dead."

[yuri_san]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

oh god you win hardcore