- hold onto the strings - [Tomo/Rui]
Title: hold onto the strings
Author: yurinie
Chapter: Oneshot
Genre: Romance, Introspective, angst
Pairing: Tomo/Rui, Tomo/Tohya, Umi/Rui
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: I have them locked in closet /is rambling. I only own my imagination, nothing else
Synopsis: Tomo is selfish and he couldn't choose
It seemed like the air was so fragile, as if it would break and shatter into a thousand pieces once any of them spoke up; to say yes, or to say no; to keep up, or to let go. There was no question - or better say, they both knew so well the answer to anything the other could ask, but still the silence that followed felt like eternity. It was almost like a battle, where neither of them could surrender - stop themselves from getting hurt - because they love this man too much; they want to have him whole, not half-s, or pieces of him, pieces that they’re allowed to have
;;;
Tomo knows it all too well. You can’t catch two fishes with both hands - either one would slip away, or you might lose both. But Tomo hates choices - he doesn’t want to choose. He’s just a selfish bastard. Though all his heart ever wanted was Rui (he was so sure of that !), something just keeps him coming to Tohya again and again, only to find the bassist, with midnight tousled hair and tear-streaked face, sitting pathetically on the doorstep, waiting for Tomo to come back. He had made his angel cry, but it killed him just as much when Tohya clinged deseprately to his arm, begging him to stay.
;;;
Enough.
Rui can’t play Tomo’s catching game anymore. He had had enough. Rui wanted to leave - if only he had left the warzone before the battle even started, but it didn’t matter anymore. Rui bit on his lower lip - his trembling.visibly.shaking lip, salty liquid stinging in his eyes. Ironic isn’t it? Their love was once so beautiful (or again was he just imagining it?) How he misses all those night when he could feel Tomo’s sweet-everything-whisper, his breath ghosted across Rui’s cheek. And Rui felt safe and sound, like the world could just crash down around right then and there and he still wouldn’t care. Rui remembers. Fuck, he remembers. And he hates that he does, while the brunette already forgot
Because as much as Rui tried to deny it
he can’t live without Tomo
;;;
But neither can Tohya. Not that he didn’t know it was wrong from the beginning, to fall in love with a man who already belonged to someone else - their band’s sweetheart nonetheless. He had never wanted to hurt the adorable blonde, he just couldn’t help it. The smirk Tomo wears ever so often on his face, the way his lips taste like mint and cold metal, his lip piercing glimmers when he pouts in deep thought, and his voice - his voice - his voice
Perhaps there is nothing more heartbreaking than having his voice ringing in your ears
;;;
Rui was no one’s fool. And he wasn’t to be misled again by yet another abused lie, or shallow promise, he knew better than to believe them by now. It’s the same old story isn’t it? (Please, give me one more chance, I can make it work, I can make us work). Then Rui would just shake his head (ho no no you can’t, we won’t). He was sick of being pushed back and forth - back and forth - back and forth, in a neverending circle, until he didn’t know he stood anymore - much like smoke now curling around his fingers. Throwing his lit cigarettes to the ground, Rui stepped on it. He shrugged. It was raining again, and Tomo wouldn’t come home,
Rui could laugh at that. Here, isn’t his home anymore, afterall.
;;;
It’s been 3 months, 17 days, 4 hours since Tomo and Rui announced to the whole band, that anything could have happened between them, was over. Not even once had Umi missed the pained expression on his friend’s face, when Tomo and Tohya would disappear for extra long breaks during practice, or when Tohya would invite Tomo out for a drink, when Tomo would put his arm around Tohya’s waist and plant a kiss on his cheek, when Tohya would blush and poke Tomo’s side - it should have been Rui, it was him, that position. But now his friend only turns away when it happens, studying the wall gravely as if some kinds of most beautiful languages are written there, or he would, more than one occasion, storm out of the room, making up a story of his mother being sick, his old friends coming over, his cat getting hungry; hours later, Umi would find him in a pub; red, puffy eyes, shoulders slumping in defeat - God, he looked miserable. This was definitely not the funny, sweet and lovely Rui he’s known of. Only his ghost.
He drove the blonde back home that night, tucked him in bed and headed straight to Tomo’s house.
;;
“I wish you two happiness” First words they’ve exchanged in months came as Tomo and Tohya were discussing on the lyrics, Rui, all of a sudden, blurted out. Tohya was slightly taken aback, while Tomo was simply stunned.
Before Tohya could decide whether to mutter a thank-you, or leaning into Tomo’s embrace, listening to the frantic heartbeat in his chest, Rui already turned on his heels and walked away.
He just hope he didn’t look too vulnerable back there, and that his smile didn’t seem fake, because the way he was clutching his clothed chest could tell
he still cares
to him, nothing was ever over
;;
“Remember that time when you confessed to me under a cherry blossom tree? Those three words that led to our relationship, it was-“
“A mess, Tomo. A mess. Now if you aren’t here to talk about work, our new single and tour next month, then please leave.” - Rui cut him off, he tried to sound as convincingly cold as possible, despite the fact his heart has skipped several beats ever since he found the vocalist standing at his door, smiling sheepishly, saying that he has got problems with writing lyrics for the song Rui wrote for their upcoming release.
“I’m sorry” Tomo whispered, reaching out to grab Rui’s hands, but Rui jerked back - he just didn’t want to be drown in that warmth again. It’s most likely for people to feel this way, especially when the reason for their breakup, was because he ended up loving too much, giving too much, still it wasn’t enough to keep the other from running to someone else.
“I thought I told you I don’t want to hear sorry.”
“So you regret it?” Tomo lowered his voice, sounding a bit nervous
”Regret what?”
“Ever loving me.”
“Never, Tomo. I don’t regret loving you. But now I want my heart back”
;;
“Just shut up and kiss me !”
Rui didn’t know how things turned out like this. They were in a bar, and Umi was all over him, the alcohol burning in his throat, vision blurred, he couldn’t grasp reality, hold onto his feelings and tell which one was real, which was bogus
He just wanted to forget
;;
People change and move forward in the course of years. Anyone does. But somehow Rui still finds himself, not moving an inch from where he was one year ago, not when Tomo’s sweet scent still lingers on his shirt, he still keeps those withered roses, Christmas cards and all Tomo’s gifts; along with memories still playing vividly in his mind
Rui doesn’t get why. Maybe he is just stupid. Maybe he gets his hope up because Tomo broke up with Tohya, or sometimes Tomo brushed past his shoulder, met his eyes with his fabulous, one-million-dollar smile. It feels almost like the first time they met, but Rui is still afraid - good old days still chase and haunt him in his dreams.
;;;
So he throws caution to the wind, let himself be taken, fall into someone’s arms, someone who wants him, needs him, and won’t make him cry, someone he would (he can’t promise but he would try to) love with his all - someone to bring him back to life…
Strong arms pulling him close, his nose burried into warm black fabric, and Umi wasn’t wearing a black shirt - but Rui was far too drunk to let his brain register the thought. Next thing he knew, he woke up in his own bed - horrible headache, hangover - and he startled when Tomo’s cat jumped on the sheets, brown hair popped out of white blanket, hands still wrapping around his waist, slurred words breathed on his neck, a mix between i-miss-you and i-was-such-a-fucking-idiot and
i-love-you-so-much-can’t-live-without-you-don’t-leave-me
For the first time since exactly one year passed, Rui felt like coming home.
-----------
A/N: Ohoho what is this XD assignment i wrote for English class. A story in which you have to use all the words given in the vocabulary of the lesson. Tomo/Rui actually is my first VK otp. Rui is such a babe - just like Manabu, they are the types who act cute but is absolutely not aware of how cute they are, pouts and winks and fingertip-gnawing and everything acdvfhdjvhdxv i don't know anymore, they are such angels /hides
End of spazzing, now back to studying :">
Author: yurinie
Chapter: Oneshot
Genre: Romance, Introspective, angst
Pairing: Tomo/Rui, Tomo/Tohya, Umi/Rui
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: I have them locked in closet /is rambling. I only own my imagination, nothing else
Synopsis: Tomo is selfish and he couldn't choose
It seemed like the air was so fragile, as if it would break and shatter into a thousand pieces once any of them spoke up; to say yes, or to say no; to keep up, or to let go. There was no question - or better say, they both knew so well the answer to anything the other could ask, but still the silence that followed felt like eternity. It was almost like a battle, where neither of them could surrender - stop themselves from getting hurt - because they love this man too much; they want to have him whole, not half-s, or pieces of him, pieces that they’re allowed to have
;;;
Tomo knows it all too well. You can’t catch two fishes with both hands - either one would slip away, or you might lose both. But Tomo hates choices - he doesn’t want to choose. He’s just a selfish bastard. Though all his heart ever wanted was Rui (he was so sure of that !), something just keeps him coming to Tohya again and again, only to find the bassist, with midnight tousled hair and tear-streaked face, sitting pathetically on the doorstep, waiting for Tomo to come back. He had made his angel cry, but it killed him just as much when Tohya clinged deseprately to his arm, begging him to stay.
;;;
Enough.
Rui can’t play Tomo’s catching game anymore. He had had enough. Rui wanted to leave - if only he had left the warzone before the battle even started, but it didn’t matter anymore. Rui bit on his lower lip - his trembling.visibly.shaking lip, salty liquid stinging in his eyes. Ironic isn’t it? Their love was once so beautiful (or again was he just imagining it?) How he misses all those night when he could feel Tomo’s sweet-everything-whisper, his breath ghosted across Rui’s cheek. And Rui felt safe and sound, like the world could just crash down around right then and there and he still wouldn’t care. Rui remembers. Fuck, he remembers. And he hates that he does, while the brunette already forgot
Because as much as Rui tried to deny it
he can’t live without Tomo
;;;
But neither can Tohya. Not that he didn’t know it was wrong from the beginning, to fall in love with a man who already belonged to someone else - their band’s sweetheart nonetheless. He had never wanted to hurt the adorable blonde, he just couldn’t help it. The smirk Tomo wears ever so often on his face, the way his lips taste like mint and cold metal, his lip piercing glimmers when he pouts in deep thought, and his voice - his voice - his voice
Perhaps there is nothing more heartbreaking than having his voice ringing in your ears
;;;
Rui was no one’s fool. And he wasn’t to be misled again by yet another abused lie, or shallow promise, he knew better than to believe them by now. It’s the same old story isn’t it? (Please, give me one more chance, I can make it work, I can make us work). Then Rui would just shake his head (ho no no you can’t, we won’t). He was sick of being pushed back and forth - back and forth - back and forth, in a neverending circle, until he didn’t know he stood anymore - much like smoke now curling around his fingers. Throwing his lit cigarettes to the ground, Rui stepped on it. He shrugged. It was raining again, and Tomo wouldn’t come home,
Rui could laugh at that. Here, isn’t his home anymore, afterall.
;;;
It’s been 3 months, 17 days, 4 hours since Tomo and Rui announced to the whole band, that anything could have happened between them, was over. Not even once had Umi missed the pained expression on his friend’s face, when Tomo and Tohya would disappear for extra long breaks during practice, or when Tohya would invite Tomo out for a drink, when Tomo would put his arm around Tohya’s waist and plant a kiss on his cheek, when Tohya would blush and poke Tomo’s side - it should have been Rui, it was him, that position. But now his friend only turns away when it happens, studying the wall gravely as if some kinds of most beautiful languages are written there, or he would, more than one occasion, storm out of the room, making up a story of his mother being sick, his old friends coming over, his cat getting hungry; hours later, Umi would find him in a pub; red, puffy eyes, shoulders slumping in defeat - God, he looked miserable. This was definitely not the funny, sweet and lovely Rui he’s known of. Only his ghost.
He drove the blonde back home that night, tucked him in bed and headed straight to Tomo’s house.
;;
“I wish you two happiness” First words they’ve exchanged in months came as Tomo and Tohya were discussing on the lyrics, Rui, all of a sudden, blurted out. Tohya was slightly taken aback, while Tomo was simply stunned.
Before Tohya could decide whether to mutter a thank-you, or leaning into Tomo’s embrace, listening to the frantic heartbeat in his chest, Rui already turned on his heels and walked away.
He just hope he didn’t look too vulnerable back there, and that his smile didn’t seem fake, because the way he was clutching his clothed chest could tell
he still cares
to him, nothing was ever over
;;
“Remember that time when you confessed to me under a cherry blossom tree? Those three words that led to our relationship, it was-“
“A mess, Tomo. A mess. Now if you aren’t here to talk about work, our new single and tour next month, then please leave.” - Rui cut him off, he tried to sound as convincingly cold as possible, despite the fact his heart has skipped several beats ever since he found the vocalist standing at his door, smiling sheepishly, saying that he has got problems with writing lyrics for the song Rui wrote for their upcoming release.
“I’m sorry” Tomo whispered, reaching out to grab Rui’s hands, but Rui jerked back - he just didn’t want to be drown in that warmth again. It’s most likely for people to feel this way, especially when the reason for their breakup, was because he ended up loving too much, giving too much, still it wasn’t enough to keep the other from running to someone else.
“I thought I told you I don’t want to hear sorry.”
“So you regret it?” Tomo lowered his voice, sounding a bit nervous
”Regret what?”
“Ever loving me.”
“Never, Tomo. I don’t regret loving you. But now I want my heart back”
;;
“Just shut up and kiss me !”
Rui didn’t know how things turned out like this. They were in a bar, and Umi was all over him, the alcohol burning in his throat, vision blurred, he couldn’t grasp reality, hold onto his feelings and tell which one was real, which was bogus
He just wanted to forget
;;
People change and move forward in the course of years. Anyone does. But somehow Rui still finds himself, not moving an inch from where he was one year ago, not when Tomo’s sweet scent still lingers on his shirt, he still keeps those withered roses, Christmas cards and all Tomo’s gifts; along with memories still playing vividly in his mind
Rui doesn’t get why. Maybe he is just stupid. Maybe he gets his hope up because Tomo broke up with Tohya, or sometimes Tomo brushed past his shoulder, met his eyes with his fabulous, one-million-dollar smile. It feels almost like the first time they met, but Rui is still afraid - good old days still chase and haunt him in his dreams.
;;;
So he throws caution to the wind, let himself be taken, fall into someone’s arms, someone who wants him, needs him, and won’t make him cry, someone he would (he can’t promise but he would try to) love with his all - someone to bring him back to life…
Strong arms pulling him close, his nose burried into warm black fabric, and Umi wasn’t wearing a black shirt - but Rui was far too drunk to let his brain register the thought. Next thing he knew, he woke up in his own bed - horrible headache, hangover - and he startled when Tomo’s cat jumped on the sheets, brown hair popped out of white blanket, hands still wrapping around his waist, slurred words breathed on his neck, a mix between i-miss-you and i-was-such-a-fucking-idiot and
i-love-you-so-much-can’t-live-without-you-don’t-leave-me
For the first time since exactly one year passed, Rui felt like coming home.
-----------
A/N: Ohoho what is this XD assignment i wrote for English class. A story in which you have to use all the words given in the vocabulary of the lesson. Tomo/Rui actually is my first VK otp. Rui is such a babe - just like Manabu, they are the types who act cute but is absolutely not aware of how cute they are, pouts and winks and fingertip-gnawing and everything acdvfhdjvhdxv i don't know anymore, they are such angels /hides
End of spazzing, now back to studying :">