[Fanfic] Just a Kiss
Title: Just a Kiss
Author: Hikari (a.k.a. yutorinislove)
Rating: PG-13
Rating: Fluff
Pairing: YamaJima (Yamada Ryosuke x Nakajima Yuto)
Summary: Yamada Ryosuke was never to ignored, especially not by the one person whose thoughts and insights he didn’t know he valued so much.
Author’s Note: My first BL fic! :3 I told myself I might not be able to write boy x boy. Turns out YamaJima is just too hard to resist. That, and the pressure of my two clan mates! Cherry and Hanatsu! This is the computer-typed version of the text fic I sent you guys. Enjoy! :3
----///----
It all started during one of their concert dry-runs. Yamada was a sweaty mess after completing a dry run for a stunt with Chinen and Yuma. He was still panting when he came up to the stage.
“Yama-chan, you looked great up there,” Yabu offered as he strummed a few chords on his guitar.
“Yeah, suteki~” Daiki followed, a grin on his face.
Yamada smiled at them, taking in all their compliments. It was great to hear people appreciate some dangerous thing you’ve done.
He was about to enter backstage to fetch himself some water when he heard a loud, low voice say, “Subarashii~”
He worked up a grin as he looked to the drum set where he knew he voice came from. Arigatou, Yuto-kun! were the words forming on his lips when he saw that Yuto wasn’t even looking at him.
The tall guy was grinning to the well-built guy holding the electric guitar beside him. Okamoto Keito was strumming some chords while Yuto matched them with his beats, grinning all the way.
Yamada pouted, obviously miffed at being ignored. He stood there for a moment, hoping Yuto would notice him there. But the next words that came out of Yuto’s mouth proved him wrong.
“Subarashii Keito na~” Yuto grinned.
Yamada’s pout deepened. People did not ignore Yamada Ryosuke. What was wrong with Yuto?
--///---
Yamada Ryosuke never considered himself to be a fisher for compliments, but this was Nakajima Yuto - a guy who never failed to compliment him in the past, even if what he did was not compliment-worthy at all. Yuto not complimenting him means that his performance was… what, terrible? Unworthy of mention? But how could that be when all the other members liked what he did?
Something was very wrong with Nakajima Yuto. And Yamada did not know what.
---///---
Recording. He showed up early because, as the front man of JUMP, he has to take longer voice lessons.
When he arrived, there were some JUMP members present, including the object of his unrest. He smiled at him cheerily enough.
“Ohayou, Yama-chan!” Yuto greeted.
Today, I’m going to get you to compliment me, Yuto-kun, he thought while grinning back. “Ohayou!”
“You seem to have a lot of energy today, Yama-chan,” Hikaru said from the side.
Yamada blushed. Was he that easy to read? And he planned on being nonchalant about it!
“Ne~ That’s fine! We all like a genki Yama-chan, don’t we?” Yuto answered back.
If Yamada could blush even more, he’d be colored as red as his favourite fruit. Was that a compliment? He thought as he bent down to get something from his bag.
When he looked up, Yuto’s attention wasn’t on him anymore.
Nandayo~
---///---
After recording, Yamada pushed himself out of the doors of the studio. His throat was raspy, but there was a smile on his face. There was the satisfaction of having done a good job.
“Ah~ I could use a drink,” he said to Daiki, who agreed to accompany him to the vending machine. They passed by the clump of JUMP members who were equally tired and spent. Yuto was there, handing Keito a face towel. “Hikaru-kun, your rap is awesome, na, Keito?” they heard him say.
Upon noticing the two boys emerge from the studio, Yuto said, “Your falsetto a while ago was great, Dai-chan!”
“You think so? Thanks!” Daiki said.
Yamada stood just beside Daiki, so there was no means for Yuto to not notice him there. He waited for Yuto to compliment him.
But he didn’t. he complimented Yuri, Inoo, Takaki and Yabu. But when his eyes alighted on Yamada, he only said, “Yo, Yama-chan!”
Yamada blinked at the taller guy. “Aren’t you forgetting something, Yuto-kun?”
Yuto’s dark eyes were wide as they looked at Yamada in wonderment. “Uh?” Then his eyes sparked realization. “Oh yeah! I forgot my shirt inside the studio! Wait, I’ll just fetch it, na?”
With that Yuto stood up and went to the studio, leaving Yamada standing there.
“Yama-chan?” Daiki asked. “Aren’t we getting a drink?”
Yamada took a few seconds to compose himself. He smiled at Daiki. “Hai. Ikiyo?”
---///---
Yabu would not be Yabu if he didn’t notice the sudden change in the temperament of his one of his members. One particular stressful day at dance practice, Yabu called Yamada aside.
“Something bothering you, Yama-chan?” the taller guy asked softly.
“Wha--? No,” Yamada said as he looked down at his feet. “It’s nothing. I’m just tired.”
“You sure?” Yabu asked again.
“Uh…” Yamada’s mind went faster than a hamster in a hamster wheel. Maybe Yabu will tell him what was up. “Yabu-kun? Do you notice Yuto-kun acting weird these days?”
Yabu bliknked thoughtfully. “Yuto? He’s acting normal, deshou?”
“No, at least not to me,” Yamada sulked. “He seems to have forgotten about me.”
“Yuto?” Yabu said, eyebrows raising. “He does? He always talks to you during practice, doesn’t he?”
“No, not that,” Yamada sighed. “It’s… everytime he gives pep talk and compliments the members… it’s just that he fails to notice me.”
Yabu blinked. “Now that you mention it,” he said slowly, “he seems to be complimenting Keito so much nowadays.”
“I know right?” Yamada pursed his lips.
“Yama-chan,” Yabu said gently. “Don’t you think Keito needs all those?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, look. Keito-kun has to work harder than the rest of us, deshou? Yuto compliments him as encouragement, don’t you think?”
“It’s possible,” Yamada said under his breath. Yuto was that kind of person.
“No need to get depressed, Yama-chan. You know how Yuto is, he gets sucked into one thing and becomes oblivious of others. Maybe if you worked really hard, there would be no way possible Yuto’s not going to notice you.”
Yamada nodded. “Thanks, Yabu.”
---///---
That was the beginning of Yamada’s quest for perfection. He figured that if everything he did was the best and is unsurpassable by anyone else, Yuto would notice him and like him best.
So everyday, he worked hard. He worked harder to perfect his moves. He put all his emotions in his voice and his body movements and after each practice, members flocked to him and asked for his secret. What was his secret to all those perfect dance moves? What was his secret to all those tear-wrenching rendition of the songs? Why was everything he did nowadays perfect?
And he answered all of them with a smile. He was, after all, Yamada, someone who liked to have his efforts recognized.
But his happy high died immediately when he saw Yuto at a corner with Keito, complimenting the older about the less-than-mediocre spin that the second otokogumi had done in practice.
“That was better than all the others, Keito,” the taller grinned. “Nice job!”
Yamada felt the sting of the tears behind his eyelids. What did it take for Yuto to notice all he did? Why was it always Keito who gets his attention? Why was it always Keito who receives those grins and “good jobs” when Yamada worked as hard as Keito did? When Yamada worked as hard and achieved it?
What did it take to get a single “good job” from Yuto?
---///---
The next few days were chaotic. Their concert was coming up and a major part of their dance routines need an overhaul. Those were the times that they almost spent the whole day in the practice rooms trying to perfect the dance routine in just a few days.
Yamada hasn’t given up yet, though nowadays, it just seemed like his body was going on autopilot, and automatically giving its all in one go, which, of course, tired Yamada faster than anyone in the group.
“Yama-chan, I think you need to rest,” Chinen said worriedly. He noticed the dark bags under Yamada’s eyes and the other’s too pale complexion. He watched his friend work too hard at everything that he could have passed easily without effort. He wondered what was wrong, but he wanted Yamada to rest already, so he refrained from asking.
“I’m okay.”
“You’re not. One more step and you’re going to pass out.” Chinen glared.
“Come on, don’t be stubborn, go get a rest,” Chinen said. “I’ll tell the dance instructor that you need it, no need to worry, okay?”
“But…” Keito never rested in between practice. What would Yuto say?
“Yutti~” Chinen pouted. First and foremost, he was the princess of JUMP and everyone pandered to his every whim. “Take Ryosuke to the dressing room. He needs to rest.”
Yuto, ever so cheerful, ever so bright Yuto, looked up from where he was teaching Keito the new dance moves, and after taking his leave of the English boy, jogged up to them. “Sure! Come on, Yama-chan.”
He felt remorse when Yuto came over and gently took him in his arms and carried him to the dressing room. He didn’t like this - Yuto being forced to interact with him that way, he meant. He wanted Yuto to interact with him because the taller guy wanted to and what he did was attention-worthy, not because Chinen ordered him to. Most especially not because Chinen ordered him to.
“You should seriously stop driving yourself to the limit,” Yuto said to him as he bent down to lay the older guy on the sofa in the dressing room. He looked around for anything that could be used as a blanket.
“I know,” Yamada said softly. He was just so tired, and the softness underneath him was almost enough for his body to let go.
“Seriously, Yama-chan. You know how strict he timetables we keep are. We can’t afford someone getting sick or getting hurt, you know,” Yuto said as he puttered around the dressing room.
Yamada sighed as he pushed himself off the sofa, the tears stinging behind his eyes. Yuto was right. They couldn’t afford to be hampered by his absence if he gets sick.
“Yama-chan, lie down. Don’t be stubborn.” Yuto said as he approached him, Inoo’s blanket in his hands. He handed the blanket to Yamada.
”We have to get back… the concert’s in a few days…” he said as he tried to stand, but Yuto gently pushed him back down on the sofa.
“Yama-chan, please stop it already. Just rest!” Yuto said exasperatedly. “You’re the frontman - people will expect you to be onstage - so if you call in sick, the concert will fail.”
Yamada took his words silently while looking at his shoes. For Keito there were grins and good jobs and thoughtful pep talks. While for him… there were only lashings out and scolding. He wanted to cry in the unfairness of it all. He tried just as hard, didn’t he? He worked just as hard, didn’t he?
“What is JUMP going to do without you, Yamada?” Yuto said as he knelt down beside the sofa. “Well, they would probably be fine.”
Now that was something. Was Yuto telling him that JUMP didn’t need him?
“The other guys… they would probably be fine. They’d just work harder to fill in for you.”
There was a silence.
“Yama-chan, look at me.”
Yamada raised his tear-stained face at this guy who’s caused him so much pain and unrest for weeks. He was looking at him so lovingly that it was hard to think straight.
“They’d probably be fine, but what about me?” he said. “You know I can’t perform well without you as I do when you’re with me, right? I won’t be fine if genki Yamada Ryosuke is not around. Genki Yamada Ryosuke is the reason why I’ve been able to stand ten gruelling years in the Jimusho, you know? Genki Yamada Ryosuke is the reason I could perform as well as I do. So if Yamada Ryosuke gets sick and drops out of a performance,” Yuto smiled, “Nakajima Yuto might as well disappear, too.”
Yamada blinked. “Yuto-kun?”
“Go get some rest,” the taller guy said as he pushed him to lie on the sofa, and tucked the blanket around the strawberry prince. “Yabu-kun told me everything. You don’t need to work so hard.”
“But you were ignoring me, and I thought that if I did my best, there would be no grounds on you not noticing all my effort.” Yamada reasoned.
“Working hard is not bad, Yama-chan,” the younger one said gently. “But working hard for me? And to the point that you’re ready to collapse on your toes? You don’t need to do that,” the younger boy said as he gently stroked the older boy’s hair. The gentle motion was slowly lulling the tired boy to sleep. “You’re perfect for me. Everything you do is the absolute best already, so why do you have to work yourself to death just to get me to notice you?”
“Just because I’m always with Keito doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about you,” Yuto continued. “You’re always on my mind, and if I fail to mention it, it’s because I prefer to give my compliments in a different way if it’s you.”
“And that way is?” Yamada asked, his eyes half-closed.
“This way,” Yuto leaned over and sealed his lips over his. “This is how I tell you you’re the best, Yamada Ryosuke.”
Yamada closed his eyes and gave in. He could feel the younger’s lips ghost over his. “I think I love you, Yuto.”
“I know,” Yuto said as he placed another kiss on the older’s forehead, “that I do. Get some rest. And if you need more of those compliments, just tell me. Don’t work yourself too much again, okay?”
Yamada nodded as he drifted off to sleep, feeling like he won the lottery. So that was it. Keito might get the grins, and the ‘good job’s. But Yamada gets the kisses and the ‘I love you’s.
That was definitely better.
--- owari ---
Thinking about it, it was not as great as I thought. orz. Please forgive me for making Yama-chan a needy someone here. ;___; But this was a first, so might I be forgiven? X3
Thank you for reading! Comments are loved~