[Fanfic] Belonging
Title: Belonging
Author: yutorinislove
Pairing: YutoYama; slight YutoMariya
Genre: Angst, fail!Smut
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Summary: So the saying goes: you never know what you have until you lose it. There are some instances that a person could regain that special thing before it is gone from him forever, but in his case, there wasn’t anything more he could do.
Author’s Note: Written in a fit of inspiration. When Hikari is struck by inspiration, she just types what is on her mind, which means that this fanfic isn’t beta-ed or thought through. Anyway. Let me know what you think! Enjoy! :3
---
He didn’t know what to make of the heavy white card he held now in his hands. He could barely absorb what he has just read. All he knew that whatever that was written there should be a practical joke - all those years of loving and hiding shouldn’t come to waste like this.
No. In his dreams, he never thought of him and Yuto ending like this. In his dreams, they last forever. Yuto felt the same way, he knew. He knew, because Yuto always told him so, and Yuto, innocent, sweet Yuto, would never think of lying about what he felt. Yuto knew that Yamada Ryosuke always took everything seriously, and especially if it burned down to this. Yamada never told Yuto, though, that the taller boy’s feelings were requited, that Yamada loved him the same intensity back, and was almost always jealous of anyone in their group because they got a little too close. He never told Yuto that he loved him, too, but it worked, anyway, because he thought it was understood. He thought that everyone knew about them without him confirming anything. He thought that everyone respected that Yuto belonged to him, and only him, because, after all, Yuto did belong to him for the past fifteen years they spent together in the Jimusho, and in return, Yamada belonged to him, too.
Turns out that not everyone did. What was worse was that it was Yuto who didn’t know anything.
---
Why are you doing this? He asked the night after he received the invitation. He had called Yuto up and asked him to a drink, to which Yuto agreed to. Yuto never knew how to refuse Yamada, Yamada thought fondly.
I can’t wait for you anymore. Yuto said softly as he raised the glass of gin to his lips. I don’t know how you really feel. She was waiting for me, and that was sure, and… I had to have stability in my life, Ryosuke.
Yamada remembered himself smiling. That was what he was: Yamada, the perfect actor. That was why he wasn’t really able to tell Yuto how he felt. If he did, he would be pegged as “weak”. He didn’t want that.
And even now when his world was falling apart - his dreams of him and Yuto together crushed by the absolute certainty that Yuto would be marrying somebody else, somebody who was there, waiting for him, the way Yuto had been waiting for Yamada for the past fifteen years - he was smiling. Even now that his heart was breaking to pieces he was still acting, still caring if he looked weak.
“I’m happy for you, Yuto-kun.”
---
“Yamada-san doesn’t look happy, does he?”
“Well, Nakajima-san would be marrying Nishiuchi-san. There had been rumours of Yamada-san and Nishiuchi-san dating in high school, right?”
“Oh, and they broke up because of Nakajima-san, deshou?”
“Right! He might still be in love with Nishiuchi-san, and maybe he can’t accept that it’s his best friend who’s marrying her.”
“How tragic! Who would choose Nakajima-san over Yamada-san?”
“Nishiuchi-san did. If she won’t have Yamada-san, then I’ll have him!”
“You have to get through me first, or Chinen-san!”
---
Being one of the special guests at the wedding, Yamada had to attend each practice at the church. He had to stand there, smiling gaily for pictures and joking with his friends and teasing the groom. He had to sit there and make small talk. He had to sit there as Yuto made a complete nervous mess of himself as he said his practice vows. He had to sit there as Mariya laughed, gently punching Yuto’s arm. He had to sit there as the fake pastor announced them man and wife. He had to sit there, biting his lip and faking a smile, when Yuto bent down to gently kiss her on the lips.
It was just like in his dreams, except that this was a nightmare and it was supposed to be her whom Yuto was kissing and not Nishiuchi Mariya.
---
11.34pm. The night before the wedding. Yuto couldn’t sleep. His brother said that it was probably due to nerves. After all, Raiya told him cheekily, the twenty-year-old brat, who wouldn’t get nervous with the prospect of marrying someone as pretty as Mariya-san?
Yuto had laughed. He has known ever since forever that his younger brother had a crush on his wife-to-be ever since Raiya knew her from Scrap Teacher as his oniichan’s co-star. He knew he was nervous, after all, he was only getting married once in his life, and his bride is one of the most beautiful, most wonderful girls in the whole of Japan, who he had been dating for two years in secret, who he was in love with and with whom he knew he would be building a happy family. Just thinking about the future made him smile. The future looked so bright!
But there was an underlying sense of uncertainty. It was a small part of him, but it was there nonetheless. He was wondering if he made the right choice of proposing to Mariya. He was wondering if it really was Mariya he wanted to spend his whole life with.
He had been telling himself that he didn’t love Yamada anymore. They’ve been together fifteen years - thirteen, if you didn’t count the years he spent with Mariya - and if he was still twenty years old, Yuto could only visualize himself spending his eternity with Yamada.
But he wanted something else in a relationship. He wanted it to be mutual. He wanted to be showered with love, too, the same way he showers the other person with love. He wanted that person to belong to him, and only him. He didn’t look like it, but he didn’t want to share.
He didn’t want to share Yamada. He didn’t want people not knowing that Yamada belonged to him, when it was so evident that he belonged to Yamada.
He wanted to ask Yamada about that when they were nineteen. He dared ask Yamada if Yamada could grant him the exclusivity he wanted.
We’re idols, Yuto. I can’t belong to you now, but maybe someday.
And he believed that. Wholly believed that. He believed that through his twenty-first year, his twenty-second, his twenty-third.
When Mariya came along, that was when he realized that Yamada isn’t going to belong to him the way he wanted Yamada to belong to him. Yamada said so himself. They were idols. For Yamada to belong to him, they must stop being idols.
Yuto was prepared to stop. But Yamada? Would taking the leap for love, would leaving his lifelong dream of being an idol - a dream he has achieved and has been performing on so beautifully - be an act Yamada was prepared to take? Would Yamada appreciate having to sacrifice something that brought him happiness for Yuto?
He sighed as he turned on his bed. He was better off not thinking about that. It just made him guilty.
Then there was a knock on the door.
He stood up and opened it, wondering who it might possibly be at such a late hour.
Seconds after opening the door, Nakajima Yuto had Yamada Ryosuke’s tongue down his throat.
---
11.50pm
“Yama-chan, don’t,” came the muffled protest. When Yuto protested, it didn’t end with just one sentence. Yuto was Yuto, and he always wanted to do the right thing. And what they are about to do - well, what Yamada was about to do - was definitely not the right thing.
Yamada didn’t want to hear protests. He wanted to be Yuto’s tonight. He wanted to be Yuto’s, body, heart and soul. He wanted Yuto to know that he owned Yamada, every part of him. He wanted to convince Yuto to stay with him. He pushed Yuto to the bed and dove in to crush his mouth with the younger boy’s. Never mind that he tasted blood. Never mind if it would bruise tomorrow. That doesn’t matter. Only tonight did.
He straddled Yuto’s torso, their lips still locked together (Yamada refuses to let go - he wondered when was the last time they kissed like this). Yuto’s eyes were open and Yamada could see the confusion in them that he had to close his eyes. Once before his kisses were gladly welcomed, now they were met with confusion, maybe even fear. So much has changed. He closed his eyes and he deepened the kiss, his tongue pushing through closed lips and clenched teeth, his hands ghosting over the younger boy’s chest before rubbing the pads of his thumbs on Yuto’s nipples. Yuto gasped, granting Yamada the opening he needed, his tongue pushing forth to explore this sweet mouth whose sweetness he has almost forgotten. (It has been so, so long…)
It didn’t take so long for Yuto to begin kissing him back. Soon Yuto’s tongue was sliding along his, battling for dominance, fighting for the top. Yamada was good at everything he did, and kissing was one of the best he did. There was no discernible rhyme to the way he kissed - there was no pattern, just a dizzying frenzy of heat and intensity. And when Yamada kisses you, there was nothing you could do but kiss back, as intensely as was given.
“Yama-chan, this is - ”
“Wrong? Yes. But I don’t care,” Yamada said as he pulled the shirt off Yuto’s prostate torso and proceeded to unbuckle the taller guy’s pants. Once he had the pants off, Yamada palmed the bulge that was Yuto’s crotch, earning him a low, suppressed groan from the taller guy.
The older boy ran the tips of his fingers along the seams of Yuto’s briefs, watching the bulge grow by the second. Without another second to spare, he pulled off Yuto’s underwear and bent down to take the length into his mouth. Rewarded with a suppressed hiss, he smiled around the younger boy’s length as he gently sucked at the tip and proceeded to bob his head up and down. Sucking his cheeks in, he took more of Yuto’s length into his mouth and fought his gag reflex to take him down his throat, humming a bit and feeling Yuto’s cock with that motion.
“Yama-chan,” he breathed, his eyes serious but lust-filled. “Yama-chan, I’m getting married in the morning.”
Yamada’s eyes clouded over as he pulled himself up from where he was crouching over Yuto’s cock. He did not want to remember what’s going to happen in the morning. He crawled up Yuto’s body, his fingers skimming at bare skin, his lips nipping at Yuto’s neck, jaw, and finally, his lips. “Ryosuke,” he whispered. “Call me Ryosuke.”
“Yama-chan - ”
The older guy ground his crotch against Yuto’s. “Ryosuke.”
“R-Ryosuke…” Yuto said pleadingly. “Ryosuke, don’t - ”
“I belong to you,” Yamada said in Yuto’s ear, pulling back and meeting the younger boy’s eyes for a second before reaching behind him and taking the younger boy in. Tears immediately began to blur his eyesight as the pain set in - he hadn’t had the chance to prepare himself for the intrusion - but he continued lowering himself onto Yuto’s hardness, bit by bit, until the younger boy was fully sheathed.
He could feel Yuto’s breath go ragged, and he gave an experimental roll of his hips, making the younger boy moan throatily, and tears spring to his eyes more because of the pain. But he wasn’t stopping. Not when he was making Yuto mewl in pleasure. He planted his hands securely on Yuto’s torso and began moving himself up and down in a rhythm that made tears spring into her eyes everytime Yuto hit his inside.
Time blended into nothing, the room void of noise save for the slapping of skin against skin, the creak of the mattress and the hushed moans. “Yuto…” Yamada whimpered as he brought his ass faster down onto Yuto’s cock. “Yuto, you feel so…”
Pleasured as he was, Yuto still noticed how slick Yamada’s entrance was getting, and he wasn’t stupid to realize that Yamada must be hurting terribly for him to start bleeding. Though bleeding was normal for same-sex coupling, he didn’t want Yamada hurt, so he tightened his hold over Yamada’s thighs. “Ryosuke, stop. Stop, you’re going to make yourself bleed - ” But he was cut off when Yamada brought himself faster still, and he felt his body tense up from the toe-curling friction, and there was nothing he could do but bite his lip from screaming out as he released his seed into Yamada, who whimpered as he rocked himself, revelling in the dragged out pleasured moans coming out of Yuto’s mouth.
“I’m yours. Always have been, Yuto,” he breathed out as he tried to catch his breath. He lay himself down on the space near Yuto on the bed. “I never told you but I am.”
The younger boy turned to his side and reached over to touch Yamada’s cheek. “Ryosuke…”
“Yuto, I - ” I don’t want you to get married. Stay with me, where you belong. “About tomorrow - ”
Yuto reached over to kiss Yamada gently on the lips. Gently, so as not to hurt the forming bruise on Yamada’s lips for kissing him harshly what felt like just hours ago. Yuto gently ran his tongue over Yamada’s lower lip, asking for entrance, and when granted, proceeded to claim Yamada’s mouth in a slow, unhurried, deep kiss.
“Do anything you want with me,” Yamada breathed out when Yuto disengaged their mouths from each other. “I’m yours.”
Yuto looked into Yamada’s eyes and knew that he was telling the truth. He planted a sweet kiss onto Yamada’s brow before claiming his lips again. He kissed Yamada like a man starved, but under that savagery was an underlying sense of gentleness that just spoke to not let Yamada get hurt. Because that was how Yuto loved Yamada in a nutshell. Yuto won’t ever let Yamada get hurt in any way.
Their second lovemaking was slow and sweet, overflowing with emotions that were fifteen years due. Each thrust was angled to let Yamada taste pleasure which was so different from how it was for him the first time around. Each kiss was hungry and spoke of untold “I love you”s that mattered before but doesn’t matter now. Because now they are connected in the most intimate way possible - and that was bringing two loving creatures into one entity.
One thrust angled in a certain way that sent Yamada mewling, his body vibrating in so much pleasure that he just might break, but he didn’t protest. Instead, he wrapped his legs around Yuto’s waist tighter and let Yuto break him more thoroughly through the night, especially now that he was so near. “Please, Yuto…”
A hand wrapped around his dripping cock, squeezing, fondling and pumping, inched him closer to the edge. Yuto’s thrusts were getting harder and faster now, his breathing getting more ragged as he buried his face into Yamada’s neck. “Yuto, I’m gonna - ” Yuto brought the pad of his thumb over the slit of Yamada’s cock, and just like that, Yamada burst, his seed coating Yuto’s hand and his stomach. The clenching of his hole brought by the orgasm brought Yuto off a few seconds later, coating the shorter boy’s inside with his seed. He rested his weight on his elbows as he loomed over Yamada, attempting to catch their breaths.
“I love you,” Yamada said, a tear running from one eye as he gazed up at Yuto. “Please. Stay.”
Yuto looked at him tenderly, his fingers caressing his cheek and the tear track etched upon it. He traced every contour of Yamada’s face with the tips of his fingers - along the eyebrows, over his nose, over the well-shaped lips rendered swollen by all the kissing - as if memorizing each detail. Yamada felt his eyes fill with tears yet again. He tried to ignore the fact that each touch felt like a goodbye. He has given himself but it was too late. He was too late.
Yuto kissed away each tear gently. “I will always love you.”
Yamada spent the night cocooned in Yuto’s arms. This will be the last time, he knew. The first and the last. Tomorrow, Yuto was going to get married, and not to him. Tomorrow, Yuto was going to pledge that he will live the rest of his life beside a girl that he loved. And all Yamada could do was relive this night over and over again, because it was the only thing left he could hold on to.
Yamada belonged to Yuto. But starting tomorrow, Yuto was going to belong to another person.
Yamada closed his eyes, breathing in Yuto’s scent, living in the last few hours of Yuto belonging to him, wishing that someday, in another life, he won’t be too late to realize that claiming Yuto - and being claimed by Yuto - was something so special to sacrifice for.
Yamada was lulled to sleep by the steady pounding of Yuto’s heart, wishing that in his next life, he won’t be so stupid.
----
A/N: This was a total fail. -____-" Anyway. I hope you enjoy it! Comments are loved~ <3
Author: yutorinislove
Pairing: YutoYama; slight YutoMariya
Genre: Angst, fail!Smut
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Summary: So the saying goes: you never know what you have until you lose it. There are some instances that a person could regain that special thing before it is gone from him forever, but in his case, there wasn’t anything more he could do.
Author’s Note: Written in a fit of inspiration. When Hikari is struck by inspiration, she just types what is on her mind, which means that this fanfic isn’t beta-ed or thought through. Anyway. Let me know what you think! Enjoy! :3
---
He didn’t know what to make of the heavy white card he held now in his hands. He could barely absorb what he has just read. All he knew that whatever that was written there should be a practical joke - all those years of loving and hiding shouldn’t come to waste like this.
No. In his dreams, he never thought of him and Yuto ending like this. In his dreams, they last forever. Yuto felt the same way, he knew. He knew, because Yuto always told him so, and Yuto, innocent, sweet Yuto, would never think of lying about what he felt. Yuto knew that Yamada Ryosuke always took everything seriously, and especially if it burned down to this. Yamada never told Yuto, though, that the taller boy’s feelings were requited, that Yamada loved him the same intensity back, and was almost always jealous of anyone in their group because they got a little too close. He never told Yuto that he loved him, too, but it worked, anyway, because he thought it was understood. He thought that everyone knew about them without him confirming anything. He thought that everyone respected that Yuto belonged to him, and only him, because, after all, Yuto did belong to him for the past fifteen years they spent together in the Jimusho, and in return, Yamada belonged to him, too.
Turns out that not everyone did. What was worse was that it was Yuto who didn’t know anything.
---
Why are you doing this? He asked the night after he received the invitation. He had called Yuto up and asked him to a drink, to which Yuto agreed to. Yuto never knew how to refuse Yamada, Yamada thought fondly.
I can’t wait for you anymore. Yuto said softly as he raised the glass of gin to his lips. I don’t know how you really feel. She was waiting for me, and that was sure, and… I had to have stability in my life, Ryosuke.
Yamada remembered himself smiling. That was what he was: Yamada, the perfect actor. That was why he wasn’t really able to tell Yuto how he felt. If he did, he would be pegged as “weak”. He didn’t want that.
And even now when his world was falling apart - his dreams of him and Yuto together crushed by the absolute certainty that Yuto would be marrying somebody else, somebody who was there, waiting for him, the way Yuto had been waiting for Yamada for the past fifteen years - he was smiling. Even now that his heart was breaking to pieces he was still acting, still caring if he looked weak.
“I’m happy for you, Yuto-kun.”
---
“Yamada-san doesn’t look happy, does he?”
“Well, Nakajima-san would be marrying Nishiuchi-san. There had been rumours of Yamada-san and Nishiuchi-san dating in high school, right?”
“Oh, and they broke up because of Nakajima-san, deshou?”
“Right! He might still be in love with Nishiuchi-san, and maybe he can’t accept that it’s his best friend who’s marrying her.”
“How tragic! Who would choose Nakajima-san over Yamada-san?”
“Nishiuchi-san did. If she won’t have Yamada-san, then I’ll have him!”
“You have to get through me first, or Chinen-san!”
---
Being one of the special guests at the wedding, Yamada had to attend each practice at the church. He had to stand there, smiling gaily for pictures and joking with his friends and teasing the groom. He had to sit there and make small talk. He had to sit there as Yuto made a complete nervous mess of himself as he said his practice vows. He had to sit there as Mariya laughed, gently punching Yuto’s arm. He had to sit there as the fake pastor announced them man and wife. He had to sit there, biting his lip and faking a smile, when Yuto bent down to gently kiss her on the lips.
It was just like in his dreams, except that this was a nightmare and it was supposed to be her whom Yuto was kissing and not Nishiuchi Mariya.
---
11.34pm. The night before the wedding. Yuto couldn’t sleep. His brother said that it was probably due to nerves. After all, Raiya told him cheekily, the twenty-year-old brat, who wouldn’t get nervous with the prospect of marrying someone as pretty as Mariya-san?
Yuto had laughed. He has known ever since forever that his younger brother had a crush on his wife-to-be ever since Raiya knew her from Scrap Teacher as his oniichan’s co-star. He knew he was nervous, after all, he was only getting married once in his life, and his bride is one of the most beautiful, most wonderful girls in the whole of Japan, who he had been dating for two years in secret, who he was in love with and with whom he knew he would be building a happy family. Just thinking about the future made him smile. The future looked so bright!
But there was an underlying sense of uncertainty. It was a small part of him, but it was there nonetheless. He was wondering if he made the right choice of proposing to Mariya. He was wondering if it really was Mariya he wanted to spend his whole life with.
He had been telling himself that he didn’t love Yamada anymore. They’ve been together fifteen years - thirteen, if you didn’t count the years he spent with Mariya - and if he was still twenty years old, Yuto could only visualize himself spending his eternity with Yamada.
But he wanted something else in a relationship. He wanted it to be mutual. He wanted to be showered with love, too, the same way he showers the other person with love. He wanted that person to belong to him, and only him. He didn’t look like it, but he didn’t want to share.
He didn’t want to share Yamada. He didn’t want people not knowing that Yamada belonged to him, when it was so evident that he belonged to Yamada.
He wanted to ask Yamada about that when they were nineteen. He dared ask Yamada if Yamada could grant him the exclusivity he wanted.
We’re idols, Yuto. I can’t belong to you now, but maybe someday.
And he believed that. Wholly believed that. He believed that through his twenty-first year, his twenty-second, his twenty-third.
When Mariya came along, that was when he realized that Yamada isn’t going to belong to him the way he wanted Yamada to belong to him. Yamada said so himself. They were idols. For Yamada to belong to him, they must stop being idols.
Yuto was prepared to stop. But Yamada? Would taking the leap for love, would leaving his lifelong dream of being an idol - a dream he has achieved and has been performing on so beautifully - be an act Yamada was prepared to take? Would Yamada appreciate having to sacrifice something that brought him happiness for Yuto?
He sighed as he turned on his bed. He was better off not thinking about that. It just made him guilty.
Then there was a knock on the door.
He stood up and opened it, wondering who it might possibly be at such a late hour.
Seconds after opening the door, Nakajima Yuto had Yamada Ryosuke’s tongue down his throat.
---
11.50pm
“Yama-chan, don’t,” came the muffled protest. When Yuto protested, it didn’t end with just one sentence. Yuto was Yuto, and he always wanted to do the right thing. And what they are about to do - well, what Yamada was about to do - was definitely not the right thing.
Yamada didn’t want to hear protests. He wanted to be Yuto’s tonight. He wanted to be Yuto’s, body, heart and soul. He wanted Yuto to know that he owned Yamada, every part of him. He wanted to convince Yuto to stay with him. He pushed Yuto to the bed and dove in to crush his mouth with the younger boy’s. Never mind that he tasted blood. Never mind if it would bruise tomorrow. That doesn’t matter. Only tonight did.
He straddled Yuto’s torso, their lips still locked together (Yamada refuses to let go - he wondered when was the last time they kissed like this). Yuto’s eyes were open and Yamada could see the confusion in them that he had to close his eyes. Once before his kisses were gladly welcomed, now they were met with confusion, maybe even fear. So much has changed. He closed his eyes and he deepened the kiss, his tongue pushing through closed lips and clenched teeth, his hands ghosting over the younger boy’s chest before rubbing the pads of his thumbs on Yuto’s nipples. Yuto gasped, granting Yamada the opening he needed, his tongue pushing forth to explore this sweet mouth whose sweetness he has almost forgotten. (It has been so, so long…)
It didn’t take so long for Yuto to begin kissing him back. Soon Yuto’s tongue was sliding along his, battling for dominance, fighting for the top. Yamada was good at everything he did, and kissing was one of the best he did. There was no discernible rhyme to the way he kissed - there was no pattern, just a dizzying frenzy of heat and intensity. And when Yamada kisses you, there was nothing you could do but kiss back, as intensely as was given.
“Yama-chan, this is - ”
“Wrong? Yes. But I don’t care,” Yamada said as he pulled the shirt off Yuto’s prostate torso and proceeded to unbuckle the taller guy’s pants. Once he had the pants off, Yamada palmed the bulge that was Yuto’s crotch, earning him a low, suppressed groan from the taller guy.
The older boy ran the tips of his fingers along the seams of Yuto’s briefs, watching the bulge grow by the second. Without another second to spare, he pulled off Yuto’s underwear and bent down to take the length into his mouth. Rewarded with a suppressed hiss, he smiled around the younger boy’s length as he gently sucked at the tip and proceeded to bob his head up and down. Sucking his cheeks in, he took more of Yuto’s length into his mouth and fought his gag reflex to take him down his throat, humming a bit and feeling Yuto’s cock with that motion.
“Yama-chan,” he breathed, his eyes serious but lust-filled. “Yama-chan, I’m getting married in the morning.”
Yamada’s eyes clouded over as he pulled himself up from where he was crouching over Yuto’s cock. He did not want to remember what’s going to happen in the morning. He crawled up Yuto’s body, his fingers skimming at bare skin, his lips nipping at Yuto’s neck, jaw, and finally, his lips. “Ryosuke,” he whispered. “Call me Ryosuke.”
“Yama-chan - ”
The older guy ground his crotch against Yuto’s. “Ryosuke.”
“R-Ryosuke…” Yuto said pleadingly. “Ryosuke, don’t - ”
“I belong to you,” Yamada said in Yuto’s ear, pulling back and meeting the younger boy’s eyes for a second before reaching behind him and taking the younger boy in. Tears immediately began to blur his eyesight as the pain set in - he hadn’t had the chance to prepare himself for the intrusion - but he continued lowering himself onto Yuto’s hardness, bit by bit, until the younger boy was fully sheathed.
He could feel Yuto’s breath go ragged, and he gave an experimental roll of his hips, making the younger boy moan throatily, and tears spring to his eyes more because of the pain. But he wasn’t stopping. Not when he was making Yuto mewl in pleasure. He planted his hands securely on Yuto’s torso and began moving himself up and down in a rhythm that made tears spring into her eyes everytime Yuto hit his inside.
Time blended into nothing, the room void of noise save for the slapping of skin against skin, the creak of the mattress and the hushed moans. “Yuto…” Yamada whimpered as he brought his ass faster down onto Yuto’s cock. “Yuto, you feel so…”
Pleasured as he was, Yuto still noticed how slick Yamada’s entrance was getting, and he wasn’t stupid to realize that Yamada must be hurting terribly for him to start bleeding. Though bleeding was normal for same-sex coupling, he didn’t want Yamada hurt, so he tightened his hold over Yamada’s thighs. “Ryosuke, stop. Stop, you’re going to make yourself bleed - ” But he was cut off when Yamada brought himself faster still, and he felt his body tense up from the toe-curling friction, and there was nothing he could do but bite his lip from screaming out as he released his seed into Yamada, who whimpered as he rocked himself, revelling in the dragged out pleasured moans coming out of Yuto’s mouth.
“I’m yours. Always have been, Yuto,” he breathed out as he tried to catch his breath. He lay himself down on the space near Yuto on the bed. “I never told you but I am.”
The younger boy turned to his side and reached over to touch Yamada’s cheek. “Ryosuke…”
“Yuto, I - ” I don’t want you to get married. Stay with me, where you belong. “About tomorrow - ”
Yuto reached over to kiss Yamada gently on the lips. Gently, so as not to hurt the forming bruise on Yamada’s lips for kissing him harshly what felt like just hours ago. Yuto gently ran his tongue over Yamada’s lower lip, asking for entrance, and when granted, proceeded to claim Yamada’s mouth in a slow, unhurried, deep kiss.
“Do anything you want with me,” Yamada breathed out when Yuto disengaged their mouths from each other. “I’m yours.”
Yuto looked into Yamada’s eyes and knew that he was telling the truth. He planted a sweet kiss onto Yamada’s brow before claiming his lips again. He kissed Yamada like a man starved, but under that savagery was an underlying sense of gentleness that just spoke to not let Yamada get hurt. Because that was how Yuto loved Yamada in a nutshell. Yuto won’t ever let Yamada get hurt in any way.
Their second lovemaking was slow and sweet, overflowing with emotions that were fifteen years due. Each thrust was angled to let Yamada taste pleasure which was so different from how it was for him the first time around. Each kiss was hungry and spoke of untold “I love you”s that mattered before but doesn’t matter now. Because now they are connected in the most intimate way possible - and that was bringing two loving creatures into one entity.
One thrust angled in a certain way that sent Yamada mewling, his body vibrating in so much pleasure that he just might break, but he didn’t protest. Instead, he wrapped his legs around Yuto’s waist tighter and let Yuto break him more thoroughly through the night, especially now that he was so near. “Please, Yuto…”
A hand wrapped around his dripping cock, squeezing, fondling and pumping, inched him closer to the edge. Yuto’s thrusts were getting harder and faster now, his breathing getting more ragged as he buried his face into Yamada’s neck. “Yuto, I’m gonna - ” Yuto brought the pad of his thumb over the slit of Yamada’s cock, and just like that, Yamada burst, his seed coating Yuto’s hand and his stomach. The clenching of his hole brought by the orgasm brought Yuto off a few seconds later, coating the shorter boy’s inside with his seed. He rested his weight on his elbows as he loomed over Yamada, attempting to catch their breaths.
“I love you,” Yamada said, a tear running from one eye as he gazed up at Yuto. “Please. Stay.”
Yuto looked at him tenderly, his fingers caressing his cheek and the tear track etched upon it. He traced every contour of Yamada’s face with the tips of his fingers - along the eyebrows, over his nose, over the well-shaped lips rendered swollen by all the kissing - as if memorizing each detail. Yamada felt his eyes fill with tears yet again. He tried to ignore the fact that each touch felt like a goodbye. He has given himself but it was too late. He was too late.
Yuto kissed away each tear gently. “I will always love you.”
Yamada spent the night cocooned in Yuto’s arms. This will be the last time, he knew. The first and the last. Tomorrow, Yuto was going to get married, and not to him. Tomorrow, Yuto was going to pledge that he will live the rest of his life beside a girl that he loved. And all Yamada could do was relive this night over and over again, because it was the only thing left he could hold on to.
Yamada belonged to Yuto. But starting tomorrow, Yuto was going to belong to another person.
Yamada closed his eyes, breathing in Yuto’s scent, living in the last few hours of Yuto belonging to him, wishing that someday, in another life, he won’t be too late to realize that claiming Yuto - and being claimed by Yuto - was something so special to sacrifice for.
Yamada was lulled to sleep by the steady pounding of Yuto’s heart, wishing that in his next life, he won’t be so stupid.
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A/N: This was a total fail. -____-" Anyway. I hope you enjoy it! Comments are loved~ <3