Title: Insecurities
Author: yutorinislove
Pairing: Yuya x OC
Rating: PG to PG-13
Genre: Romance
Summary: Takaki Yuya was the desire of half of Japan. The only one who doesn’t want him with the same intensity is his very own girlfriend.
Author’s Note: I don’t know what this is. The spawn of my musings? ;;
---
Takaki Yuya smiled sleepily at the crowd gathered inside the club, most of which were women, who were cheering for them, the Mugendai, relentlessly. Most of them were chanting his name, and why would they not? He was the most popular member of the Mugendai, being its face and lead vocalist. Performance-wise, he was more than adequate for his position -- he had the sexiest gravelly voice ever to grace the face of the earth, never mind that when he did perform, it was with natural grace and edge that just conveyed to the people: look at me -- I'm hot. And he was, though he liked to think that he wasn't that hot to garner such rabid fans more than willing to throw themselves onto him and ravage him then and there.
Hikaru often complained to him that he got most of the attention of the ladies, and he should not shy away from that because, if the blond was put in the brunette's position, he would be lording with his power over the ladies. Yuya just laughed in the blonde’s face, leading Yabu to explain to Hikaru that Yuya was the shyest man alive, and there was a huge rift between his onstage persona and his offstage one.
"I have a girlfriend, Hikaru," Takaki always insisted, rolling his eyes whenever the blond found it convenient to throw that question at him.
"You just say that," Hikaru always rebutted, "so we can get off your case."
Whenever this happened, it was always handy for Kota to be around because though Takaki was shy, he wasn't one to back down from a fight, which Hikaru was always trying to pick with the older boy when he was implying that Takaki was lying about having a girlfriend.
"Seriously, when would you two start acting like adults?" Kota would ask exasperatedly, separating the two before things escalated to a full-blown fight of sorts.
Hikaru would just laugh and walk away, like it meant nothing, because to Hikaru, these little squabbles shouldn't last that long. In the same way, Yuya would just laugh it off, too, but in his heart, he was fuming. Hikaru shouldn't make fun of the fact that he has a girlfriend. Especially since it was very true.
---
"Yuya, come on, wake up," Kuchiki Mei said as she shook her boyfriend awake. Yuya opened his eyes slowly, basking in the early morning light filtering through the windows. He turned his half-opened eyes towards Mei, watching as she puttered around their shared apartment. He vaguely wondered why she was rushing, and it took a few moments for him to realize that she, like many of his peers, go to university. She must have one of her morning classes that day.
"I'm up, I'm up," Yuya said hastily as he pushed himself up on his arms. He felt the morning sun burn into his naked back, and he vaguely reprimanded himself for falling asleep half-naked once again. He watched as Mei applied a thin coat of gloss over her lips, rushing around the apartment to retrieve her school bag. "Morning class?" he asked.
Mei nodded as she hurriedly put on her shoes. Yuya stood up shakily from the bed -- his body still longed for the bed, since he was up late because of a little party Hikaru decided to throw because he's finally gotten back together with Reiya-chan. He looked at the small table they had in the kitchen. "You didn't eat breakfast?"
"I don't have the time," Mei said as she arranged her hair over her head into a chignon. She turned to Yuya and gave a tight smile at the sight of his concerned face. "Seriously, Yuya, I'm going to eat once I arrived in the university, quit worrying too much."
"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day," Yuya said sternly. Mei often forgets to grab a bite of breakfast and he knows that because of her busy schedule, she might even skip lunch. Yuya likes to worry over Mei because, though she is clearly the smarter of the two of them, she oftentimes forgets to think about herself.
"I'm not seven, Yuya," Mei sang before traipsing out of the apartment. She blew him a kiss. "See you later, okay?"
"You're going to be back for dinner, right?" Yuya asked, not getting a reply, for the door had closed in his face.
---
"Otsukaresamadeshita," Yabu slapped Yuya on the back, hard, and Yuya almost jumped out of his skin. "Hey, Yuya. What's gotten you so quiet all of a sudden?"
"What are you saying? I'm always quiet," Yuya denied hotly, slipping his cellphone into his pocket.
Yabu nodded disbelievingly. "You know, the way you deny things confirm the issues for us. Really, Yuyan. What's wrong?"
Yuya shook his head. "Um. Girlfriend matters. You won't understand, you and Sandra-chan are just perfect," Yuya said, not caring how childish that sounded. But it can't be helped. Yabu and Sandra had been together for less than a year, completely unlike him and Mei, with two years under their belt. But the way Yabu and Sandra were was just how Yuya pictured how a relationship should be -- comfortable, tender, a bit teasing, but always loving. No saying that his and Mei's relationship didn't have that, it was just that the relationship used to have that certainty. Why, Yuya could count on his fingers the times Mei kissed or told him she loved him in the past three months.
"Nothing's ever perfect, Yuyan~" Yabu teased, poking the younger guy on the cheek. "Come on, you can tell me. What's up?"
"It's..." Yuya said, hesitant. "It's my girlfriend. You see, I'm scared that she has grown tired of me."
Yabu's soft stare unnerved Yuya a bit, but soon enough, he was spouting everything that has been bothering him the past few weeks. "We spend more time fighting than cuddling, you know. And the times that we tease each other... when we tease each other I feel as though she's just making fun of me. As in seriously making fun of me. I don't know anymore, Yabu, does this mean she doesn't love me anymore?"
Yabu sighed. "You can't be too sure, maybe she's just very busy."
Yuya bit out a heartbroken chuckle, and it didn't take too much for Yabu to not notice the tears in the younger boy's eyes. Takaki Yuya had never been the best at hiding his emotions. "Yeah, I know that. But really, I would give everything to hear her tell me 'I love you' the way she did before."
---
Yabu sent Yuya off, making sure that Yuya at least went home with a little hope in his heart. (Just give her a bit of time, and just never forget to show her that you love her -- it'll be all right in the end, Yuyan.) Yuya, on the other hand, no matter how childish he was or how stupid at times, wasn't foolish enough to delude himself in the possibility that everything in his relationship with Mei would be all right instantly.
He opened the door to their apartment to notice that only the light in the kitchen was turned on. Yuya headed towards that direction to see that Mei was there, talking gaily on her cellphone.
Usually when Mei was talking to someone over the phone, Yuya immediately leaves the room. He knew that Mei liked to have privacy over her phone calls, and that she will tell him the summary of what transpired in that phone call. But that moment, all was different. He just stared a great might at Mei as she continued with the phone call. He didn't know why. Was it because this phone call was different? Maybe it was the way Mei speaking in that low, secretive voice, calling the other caller "-kun" instead of the "-chan" that he was so used to hearing?
Mei met his eyes and immediately told the caller that she'll call later before laying her phone on the kitchen counter. "Yuyan. What's wrong?"
"Who was that?" Yuya asked in a hard voice. Mei, probably taken aback, laughed nervously. "What do you mean?"
"The one you were talking to. Who was that?" he repeated. "Is it another man you are seeing?"
Mei blinked before laughing. "That was Asuka-kun. She's my kouhai in the restaurant I am part-timing for. Her mother is sick and I had to comfort her, okay?" She stood up and came nearer to Yuya, flicking his forehead in the process. "You know, the suffix -kun can also be used for kouhais."
Yuya blinked, totally discomfited. "Um... okay."
Mei stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. "It's really hot when you're jealous," she murmured.
Yuya's arms snaked possessively around her waist before bringing her closer, leading her to their shared bedroom in the process.
Before he lost himself in her warmth, Yuya tried to brush the feeling that everything was different now.
---
"I can tell from that glow that you had gotten laid," Hikaru commented from over his shoulder as he was tuning the bass. Yuya's head whipped to face the younger boy, who looked at him innocently, "What?"
Yuya shook his head. "Nothing."
"Mm," Hikaru hummed from where he was sitting.
Yuya opened his phone and looked at the reply he got.
Can't go on a date this weekend.University stuff.
He hesitantly typed out a reply. Is that so? When's your next free time then?
"Look, Yuyan," Hikaru said, still not facing him. "I'm sorry I made fun of you having a girlfriend. I see now that it's true."
Yuya was preoccupied by the reply he got.
Seriously, Yuya. I have many things to do, so I don't know when's the next free time I'm going to have. Just go and enjoy yourself alone, okay?
"Yuyan," Hikaru said in a louder voice. "Why don't you invite your girlfriend to hang around with us? So we'll be able to get to know her. Wouldn't that be all right? Ne?"
Yuya sighed as he pocketed his cellphone. "I don't feel like I have a girlfriend anymore."
---
Kuchiki Mei sighed as she reentered the apartment she shared with Yuya. Immediately she went towards the source of her worry for the entire day.
"Yuyan," Mei said as she approached the boy who was busily answering the morning paper's crossword puzzle. She looked at him until he filled in a couple of boxes and looked up.
"Mei," he said happily, and he straightened up in his seat. "What are you doing here? University doesn't let out until seven tonight, right?"
"I came here as fast as I can. Yabu-kun said that you seemed down so he let you out of band practice early. What's up? Can you tell me about it?" she said as she moved towards the fridge and got out orange juice, pouring herself some in a glass.
Yuya was quiet, then he said in a soft voice. "Um. Do you... do you want to go on a date with me? Um, tonight? You don't have anything else besides University, right? We can go on a dinner at the nearby restaurant, and it'll be so romantic, and..."
"Yuya, wait, hold up," Mei said, half-laughing. "Oh my god. I'd love to, honey, but my schedule is literally not going to make it possible, okay? And what do you know about being romantic, anyway? You don't have a romantic bone in your body."
Yuya's grin -- that larger-than-life, happy, infectious grin -- fell, and in its place came the forced, tired smile that Yuya often put out for the fans when he's too tired to put on a show. "Is that so? I'm sorry, it slipped my mind."
Mei looked at Yuya curiously before scooting over and sitting on the table in front of him. She laid her palms on his cheeks and forcefully made her look at him.
"You're weird, Yuyan," she said, smiling slightly. "You've been acting weird the past few days. Getting jealous, getting too clingy... what happened?"
Yuya was considered to be the stupid one of the troupe, the one who normally doesn't speak up because he was naturally very shy, the one considered by all to be a yankee gangster with a really sexy voice, but to Mei, Yuya was Yuya -- the honest, childish mama's boy who happened to really love her with a passion, and wouldn't hesitate to give her anything she asks for, be it space, or time, or anything else.
When Mei asks for an explanation, Yuya will always follow through with one. This case was not any different.
What was different was that Yuya looked near tears when he finally let out his problem.
"I... It's lonely," he said, looking away. He can't say it all with her looking at him like that, he might turn into one big crying mess. "I have you, Mei, but it's just so lonely. I know that it's not your fault, it's school, and responsibilities, and I know I'm not top priority... but it's really lonely, Mei. When will you have time for me again?"
Mei blinked at him, and wrought with understanding, she ruffled his hair, puling gently so that he was laying his head on her chest. "You know, you're more childish than my younger sisters combined."
"I'm sorry I'm like this," he murmured against her skin.
"Like what?" she asked in interest.
"Like a girl."
She laughed and gently tugged at his hair so that he was looking up at her. "Why didn't you tell me that you felt that way? Sure, you're not on the top of my priorities right now, but that doesn't mean you're not important, Yuyan."
"But you were too busy..."
"Yeah, but I always have time for you," Mei argued as she leaned over to peck him on the lips, smiling a little when she felt his lips follow her warmth when she pulled away. "You know what? Screw school. Let's go on a date tonight!"
Yuya's eyes widened. "But -- "
"I can't focus on my studies later if I know that my most important person is feeling down like this, right?" she said cheekily before jumping down the table. "Come on, if you're going to take me to a restaurant, you have to change your clothes. Right?"
Mei knew that there was going to be a hell lot to catch up on the weekend because of the schoolwork that she will be skipping that night. But the sight of that grin -- that childlike happy grin -- on the face of that one man she loved the most, she knew that a few hours taken from her free time on the weekends was worth it.
---
Yuya watched her sleep that night, her hair framing her face in such a way that made her look like a fairy or something, something rare and just for his eyes. He smiled as he ran his fingertips over a silken cheek, over closed eyelids that fluttered to his touch.
"Can't sleep?" she asked, cracking open one eye.
Yuya shook his head as he sunk into the pillows. "I'm just soaking this all up -- tomorrow, we might not even go to bed at the same time, so really, I just want to live in this moment a little longer."
"You're corny," Mei said as she turned her body towards his, reaching over to pinch his nose.
He caught that hand and intertwined his fingers through hers. "Shut up, you love it."
Mei laughed as she leaned closer to press another kiss on the lips.
"I love you," he said when she pulled away.
"I love you more," Mei said, pulling their blanket over them with her free hand. "Don’t ever underestimate yourself when it comes to me again, okay?"
Yuya laughed as he gathered her close and kissed the palm of her hand. "Haiiii~"
---
Comments are well-appreciated~ :3