The sex thing

[yvesilena]

For some reason, I've just managed to come up with a comprehensible explanation of my (a?)sexuality.

Comments

[taimatsu]

Well done to you for working this out! It does make sense, though it is foreign to my experience :) It's good you have found a comfortable way to be you :)

[faithinfire]

*nods* That sounds comprehensible, and like a very good thing to have sorted out. *hugs* I'm glad you're comfortable with where you're at, it's always a good thing to see. :)

[ixwin]

This actually resonates quite strongly with my experience (although not the single bit obviously). I have similar non-sexual crush fantasies, which is partly why I've never entirely worked out where I am on the Kinsey scale*: I do have crushes on both women and men, but because neither involves fantasising about having sex with them, I'm not sure where that leaves me. What sexual fantasies I have tend to be fairly perfunctory, and focus chiefly on the physical sensations of having various things done to me: not about any particular person doing them. What I do have is an ability to enjoy sex as a physically pleasurable activity and way of interacting with my partner even when I'm not feeling particularly horny; plus from the sound of it a higher overall sex drive, in that I do get 'in the mood' on a fairly regular basis as well.

*(the other part being that since I'm in a happy monogamous and hopefully lifelong relationship, it's a bit of a moot point anyway)

[yvesilena]

Thank you for sharing - I was feeling awkward about having put this out there and feel so much better now that somebody else has done the same, especially since we seem to have a fair bit in common :)

This is probably not very coherent ;-)

[angelislington]

As usual when you post Important Things Wot I Have Realized About Myself I relate to this so much. :)

I still find it extremely difficult, if not impossible, to have sexual feelings about anyone, rather than pre-pubescent style crushes devoid of lustful desires. When I see attractive people I swoon and sigh and dream of hugging, maybe kissing them, maybe some frottage if I'm feeling particularly randy, but otherwise it's all totally innocent. Especially as most of the people I fancy are unattainable fictional characters or celebrities. Or celebrities playing fictional characters. ;-)

My husband really is the first person I've ever been sexually attracted to (which I'm sure is a relief for him) although I still feel disinterested in a lot of things. I still feel awkward and sexually immature most of the time, and try not to berate myself for being a 'child' who can only swoon pathetically over the people she likes. :/ (Thankfully I have someone I love now, as well as silly crushes, but it's still taking quite a bit of time getting

Re: This is probably not very coherent ;-)

[yvesilena]

*hugs back* It's really good to know I'm not the only one! I do wonder if future generations will find the 21st-century stereotype that all sane adults want oodles of hot sex as daft as the Victorian stereotype that nice girls never enjoy it.

[emperor]

It's cool that you've worked this out about yourself, and are happy about it :-)