Lately I haven't cried when reading things that you write. But looking at the old scrytch stuff... Most of which I doubt I've read before, since that was when I had very little net-access, I began to cry just now.
Especially this: You've found words for things I could never say, could never fit it into words that didn't sound awkward, forced, confused. Know you are tired of my voice. Understand: this is the voice I live with, continue on with in the hope that one day, I'll be able to tell you a story.
Reading what you express about that time now, makes me feel very strange. The world is so big and I've never really understood more than the tip of the iceberg. But sometimes even still, hearing the way I've grown, and seeing those whom I've loved as they grow, I begin to feel that God did put some wisdom in me.
All of this (some of it R-rated) was a way of processing what I was going through in moving from a basically materialist though occultic worldview to a theistic one. I didn't know where I was going, of course, and I was
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Especially this:
You've found words for things I could never say, could never fit it into words that didn't sound awkward, forced, confused. Know you are tired of my voice. Understand: this is the voice I live with, continue on with in the hope that one day, I'll be able to tell you a story.
Reading what you express about that time now, makes me feel very strange. The world is so big and I've never really understood more than the tip of the iceberg. But sometimes even still, hearing the way I've grown, and seeing those whom I've loved as they grow, I begin to feel that God did put some wisdom in me.
All of this (some of it R-rated) was a way of processing what I was going through in moving from a basically materialist though occultic worldview to a theistic one. I didn't know where I was going, of course, and I was ( ... )
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