I don't like free form poetry.
I saw your picture while cleaning out my closet
and your silhouette came to my mind
ever since I left I hated this bluegrass state
and even as we could no longer really relate
I could see you got the worse deal
It was a shame when your mother departed
and you worked in a fish restaurant
whilst I sat unemployed and fainthearted
You were always the better man than me
after the 'pong' was it you or the alcohol
speaking those things at three in the morning?
All you ever wanted to was raise a family
and love them half to death from what I observed
not the drugs you sold or the job you worked
nor any toil would give them what they deserve
You always worried about meeting that special someone
I just pray you won't sell your soul to be a good father
don't have an ecclesiastical revelation on your deathbed
I haven't seen you in a year so please don't be dead
but will my pleading to a memory make a difference?
You know it wasn't till spring break my perspective changed
I still had no absolute best friend other than you
I even refused claiming favorite foods and colors
as if they had feelings or I could see them anyway
It was after Scarface I really started to worry
that I might be permanently losing you to your plans
While I complained about emotions and how much my life sucked
you were seeing friends get shot and having horrible luck
having a fulfilling relationship with anyone.
Oh when did we stop hunting bees and playing video games?
we traded in a joystick for a bottle to kick back and relax
It was fun to chew apart my sister's fishing lures
and you wanted to join the army and be G.I. Joe
oh what schism did I cause when I left?
before I knew it all four of you were feigning friendship
as if I was fooled by the charade between you
but not even private school saved you from the world
(looks like kentucky was the exodus which saved me)
and yea, we'd still stay up late and talk about life
but something had changed; you grew up too fast
even now I still can't call you by your father's name.
Can't we go and be innocent like back in the day?
Cause then I wouldn't feel awkward when I call you Joey.