If I didn't put all my hope in things out of my control then I'd probably never be disappointed.

I just don't want to feel like I'm being stabbed every time I get hurt. I don't want to feel it all the way down to the smallest bones in my wrist. I want to feel something good. Know it exists just once. I don't want to feel paralyzed anymore. Every day I feel like I exist for someone else's benefit. One day I'm just going to disappear. ( Read more... )

Maybe one day I should fix it such that my existence isn't a Problem to everyone anymore.

My ears hurt. So worth it, though. I doubt my mother will notice. France tomorrow, or in 18 hours, that is. Have a nice break, everyone.

I wish that you didn't love me no more, I've been dead for years,
I wish that you didn't own me no more, I've been here before...

I never met a more impossible girl...

Can someone please fix it such that I don't have to go for 20 minute walks in 10° weather in order to be reminded that I'm not dead yet?

Ever look in a mirror late at night and start freaking out because you don't think you look like you? I keep doing that where I see myself and my eyeliner's smudged and I look exhausted and I go "holy shit, what is that?" It's actually really scary and I can't look for extended periods of time for the irrational fear that I'm going to transform ( Read more... )

you pretend you're safe inside,
but I know what no one knows.
we're the same, undefined by you
as you're living through my eyes...

Happy 14th birthday, Figaro!

<3