Fic: All I Want For Christmas...
Title: All I Want For Christmas (is a blowjob)
Author/Artist:Zafra
Rating:NC-17
Character(s)/Pairing(s):Arthur/Merlin
Word Count:4,990
Summary: Arthur takes the manly route after a frustrating day Christmas shopping. He hides in the loo.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction - none of this ever happened. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this work. Please observe your local laws with regards to the age-limit and content of this work.
Whomever decided that large, squarish paper bags with thin, rolled paper handles that ripped-off easily if said bag contained more than about five pounds were appropriate should be shot. Most likely they worked in some posh cubicle somewhere and fancied themselves way too hip or artsy to actually shop at a mall. They most likely shopped at thrift stores, or Goodwill. Hell, they might even have their own sewing machine and just make their own clothes.
Whoever they were, Arthur was pretty damn sure they weren't slogging through the mall on the Saturday before Christmas. They weren't six presents behind and wishing, like he did every year, they had started shopping back in August. Or July. Hell, he was going to start shopping for next year during the upcoming January clearance sales. Day after Christmas, even.
Provided he could pry himself out of bed and his feet weren't swollen beyond the fit of his shoes.
It didn't used to be like this, of course. Arthur hurried past the mall Santa up on his big red chair and clutched to the feeling of bitterness that swept over him. He wasn't real, after all. It wasn't like if he sat on his lap (as if the staff would let him) and wished to be ten again, or heck, even fifteen, it would work. Life just moved on. Arthur had done the childishness of Christmas when he was a child. Now, he was an adult. He had responsibilities to his family. To his company.
If in some part of his brain it seemed a little sad that the most joy he could hope for this year was Morgana actually getting him the single-serve coffee machine he had been eyeing in Brookstone well - it was a nice machine and he couldn't live without coffee, right? He had grown beyond video games and there just wasn't any time to go skiing or sledding these days.
The time of being happy with simple gifts and the joy of having visiting family around seemed gone and Arthur purposely looked away from the sprawling Santa display and the twinkling lights of the gigantic tree in center court. He had to find a gift for Morgana that he hoped would say either 'thanks for the coffee maker' or 'bet you wish you'd gotten me that coffee maker now, huh?' in the same gift. He knew, pragmatically, that a gift card would be his best bet and would most likely save his poor step-sister from being stuck in a terribly long line on January-whatever trying to exchange whatever pathetic gift he picked out that showcased nothing but his terribly 'un-gay' fashion or decorating sense. Arthur had always felt that gift cards were horribly anti-climactic, though. There just wasn't the same feeling when tearing into an envelope and finding a gift card with your store-bought pleasantries compared to seeing a box with a bow and ribbon that had a tag on it with your name and “From”. If he didn't know the woman well enough to buy her a decent gift after living under the same roof for over a decade then Arthur should just give up right now.
Fate decided to remind him how much he couldn't give up - his phone was buzzing in his pocket and it was Morgana calling.
“Hello, witch!” Arthur infused his voice with as much false cheer as he could muster.
“Arthur! Lovely to hear the voice of Satan on this festive Saturday.” Morgana's own overly cheerful response loosened the tightness in Arthur's chest just a bit.
“To what do I owe this unexpected interruption?”
“Quick question - did you want the single-serve hot coffee maker, or the one that can brew cold as well?”
Morgana sounded so incredibly sincere and Arthur squashed-down the lump of disappointment that welled up in his throat. “The hot one. I'm not a giant fan of cold coffee.”
“Ok! Just wanted to be sure. I know how hellish those after-Christmas lines can be!”
“That's it, Morgana. You're getting a gift card. Pick the store.” Arthur tried to keep it light, but he knew he wasn't entirely successful.
“Oh, Arthur. Why are you trying so hard?”
Sympathetic Morgana was something Arthur was not used to and he still believed she pulled it out on special occasions just to torment him. “What would you have me do? Catch a plane to Tahiti during the holidays and leave you all a wad of cash to split between yourselves?”
“Wow. You'd really do that, wouldn't you.”
The firmness in her tone told Arthur his game was up. “Not that exactly, perhaps.” The silence dragged on after his sorta-confession and he flicked the button on his phone to ensure the call was still active. “I...it's just....” Arthur had no idea what to actually say. He knew how he felt - the holidays were a giant ball of stress and an obligation he'd happily send anywhere but to his own front door - but he was stuck.
“Arthur? You know I don't need anything fancy, right? I mean, you're my brother and I love you - I want you to be happy. That will make me happy.”
She sounded sincere and it made Arthur's knees weak. He sat down on the thin edge of a planter since all the benches were taken. “I'm sorry, Morgana. I don't mean to take it out on you. I just...” Arthur contemplated what to say next, but Morgana read him like a book as always.
“You're not in the holiday spirit at all, are you.” Morgana's voice brooked no argument and Arthur didn't try to give one. “I was at your flat last week, remember? Two weeks before Christmas and you didn't even have a tree! I think this is the first year that's happened, too. That's why it struck me.”
“Last year I didn't do it myself. I paid a decorator to come in and spruce up the place.” Arthur felt another small knot unravel in his chest as he said it. This certainly wasn't the first year he'd felt this way - this was just the first year he'd refused to cover it up with fancy trimmings.
“You need a new reason to celebrate,” Morgana announced. “I love you, really, but I have my own family now and it makes a difference.” Her voice got quiet and Arthur understood exactly what she meant. For a long time it had just been them with their father. He wasn't exactly the type to embrace the spirit of the holiday and if it wasn't for their nanny, Arthur doubted he would have even known who that jolly man in the red suit was supposed to be. Holidays in their home were always bright and cheerful, though as Arthur grew he slowly realized it was not his father's warmth and love that made the holiday bright and cheerful but rather the people he employed to decorate, bake and shop. Arthur knew it was probably the only way Uther knew to give his children the holiday he felt they deserved - the same commercial holiday staring him in the face right now from every corner of the brightly decorated mall.
“You're right. I need another reason to celebrate.” Arthur smiled a bit and swallowed. “So, what store would you like your gift certificate from?” Morgana's giggle should have made him nervous, but instead it unwound a bit more of the knot in his chest.
“Victoria's Secret of course!”
“Of course.” Arthur couldn't quite stomp the dread completely out of his voice and Morgana's unabashed laughter from the other end of the call told him it was noticed.
Arthur had never hated gay stereotypes more than in that moment.
“You know you love it - just picture some club twink in one of the g-strings and I'm sure it'll elevate the whole experience.”
Arthur hated to tell Morgana that he barely went to clubs at all, let alone 'gay' ones, and that in general, skinny effeminate twinks just weren't his cup of tea. “Oh, thank you for making the experience that much better for me.” If Morgana caught the sarcasm dripping off that comment, she kept it to herself.
“Make it a decent amount, Arthur. I want to buy some new lingerie.”
“Thank you Morgana, that was most definitely a visual I did not need.”
“I'm not sure what's worse - that you're repulsed by the thought of me in lingerie or that you can actually picture it.” Her playful tone brought a chuckle from Arthur.
“Let me go. The sooner I get your card the sooner I can get on with the few others things I need and be done with this whole miserable experience.”
“Fair enough. Will you be at dinner tomorrow night? We're looking forward to seeing you.”
“Of course. I wouldn't miss it.” The call ended, as it always did with them. It wasn't that they didn't care about each other; they just both hated the word goodbye.
Arthur spent a few more moments gathering himself before slowly pushing off the ledge and adjusting his shopping bags. He could do this. Just one gift card and a few other trinkets. How difficult could it be? Luckily Morgana's present would be found just around the corner from where he was currently standing. And standing.
After the third person roughly bumped into him, Arthur gave up. The tedium of picking out gifts and the stress of getting the perfect one was overwhelming.
He needed a break. He knew the food court was brimming over with stressed shoppers and the last place he wanted to be. He could always go back to his car for a bit and listen to the radio, but it was cold and Arthur didn't want to spend his time shivering. It wasn't dignified or perhaps even safe, but no one would be the wiser and Arthur knew what his next course of action would have to be.
He was going to bite the bullet and hide in the loo.
Thankfully, despite the crowds, the bathroom Arthur found off a random corridor was virtually empty. Tempting as it was, he didn't take up the handicap stall, rather he tried to condense his bags as much as possible and stuffed himself into a regular sized one. Sighing, he decided to at least go through the motions; it wasn't like he was going to sit down on the seat in his pants. He'd been so wrapped-up in his own thoughts, the sound of another voice cutting through the silence startled Arthur making him jump.
“Hey, got any toilet paper?”
“Fuck, give a guy some warning, yeah?”
“Sorry. Thought you knew I was here.” The voice wasn't unpleasant and Arthur found himself drawn into the exchange despite his initial desire to just decompress.
“I didn't pay that much attention - give me a second,” Arthur looked around his small cubicle and had a momentary panic attack - here he was in a small, cramped loo and forced to interact with someone else.
“It's not a problem, really. I just felt weird for a moment.”
The voice was not entirely like his own, but close enough to put Arthur at ease. “Hiding in the loo, mate?”
The light chuckle that followed shouldn't have aroused Arthur the way it did. “Same could be said for you, yeah?”
Arthur laughed in spite of himself. “Yeah, you caught me. A week before Christmas and I'm taking a rest in the loo rather than face my gift-buying demons.”
The mysterious stranger laughed and it lightened Arthur's chest more. “Can't say I blame you. I'm here too. After all.” The resigned tone of the comment spoke to Arthur and he couldn't help but sympathize with the faceless voice next to him. “Hard to buy for people innit?”
“You said it,” Arthur responded. “Even when you know what they want, it always feels somehow...wrong.”
“It's this whole bloody holiday,” his companion groused. “Everywhere you turn it's all about buying your way into folks' favor. Sick, really.”
Arthur nodded and then realized no one could see him. “Yeah.” He sighed loudly, sparing a glance at the bags surrounding him and shot a look at the cubicle next to him. A pair of worn canvas sneakers poked-out from a pair of jeans and Arthur couldn't help but notice there was only one bag on the other side. “Looks like you took a break earlier than me, eh?”
“Not that many people to buy for.”
“Oh, I don't get that lucky,” Arthur mused. “It was bad enough when it was just the three of us and the management at work I had to get things for. Now my bloody sister had to go and get married and spawn.” That earned a chuckle from the other side.
“Lucky me, no sibs. Just mum, Gaius and a few friends.”
“No girlfriend?” Arthur wasn't even going to try to lie to himself - he was stressed-out in a mostly deserted mall bathroom with another bloke. If there was any chance at all, he was going to bloody well take it.
“Nah, not my thing.”
“Yeah, me either.” Arthur got a bit nervous then - despite the prevalence of it in clubs and other areas, he had never been a giant fan of bathroom sex. Not to mention he wasn't even sure if he had anything on him to do it with. Sure would be nice, though.
“No boyfriend for you to buy for either, then?”
The question startled Arthur, but he realized it was probably just his companion making sure he'd heard correctly. “Nope. Not really dating right now.”
“Shame. You sound sexy.”
Arthur blushed a bit despite being alone. Flirting was something he'd not done in quite awhile and he'd forgotten how nice it could be. “Yeah?”
“Bet you're one of those well-dressed corporate types. Likes wearing suits and ties.” The tone of the other man's voice changed just a bit with that comment and Arthur's dick took notice. “Wearing one now?”
“No,” Arthur managed to say in calm voice. “Button-down, though.”
“Belt?”
Dear God. “Yeah.”
“Mmmm,” was the only response to that and Arthur felt equally relieved and disappointed.
“What's your name?” Generally Arthur didn't care in these situations but for some reason he wanted to know who this guy was.
“Merlin.”
“Interesting name.”
“Old family name, evidently. You?”
“Arthur.”
Again, that low sexy chuckle. “That's very posh and corporate, I'll give you that.”
“Thanks, I think.” Arthur had enough of sitting on the uncomfortable seat, so he got up, carefully tucked his budding erection into his pants and opened the door.
“Where you going?” The voice was once again normal and even a bit unsure. Normally, Arthur would probably play a bit, talk about how busy and important he was and how he couldn't just sit idly in a bathroom stall all day making small talk. Today, though, he wasn't that Arthur - he was the small, scared Arthur he usually never let anyone see. The one who was hiding in the toilets to avoid Christmas shopping. Somehow he got the feeling Merlin would see right through it.
“Nowhere. Just tired of sitting. Besides, I'm not much for imagining so I was hoping to find out what you're wearing in person.”
After a few moments of silence, Arthur got a bit concerned. “Merlin? You alright in there?”
“Yeah,” came the soft reply in an entirely different tone than the flirty one Arthur had been hearing thus-far. “Just, be out in a second.”
Arthur had a momentary panic-attack. What if his flirty companion was underage? Maybe he didn't want anything but a mutual fantasy session and Arthur was scaring him off? Arthur blamed his own overactive imagination for what happened next.
Merlin opened his own door and the first words out of Arthur's mouth were “You're not underage, are you?”
“Wow, if that's the best you can do I think we should go back into our stalls.”
Arthur's eyebrows shot up as he took in the sight of Merlin. He was exactly the opposite of Arthur's normal type - not quite twink but still skinny and rather punk looking. Oh god, he was probably a vegetarian or something. “Sorry, it's just...” Arthur waved his hand to indicate Merlin's skinny but admittedly well-fitting jeans and t-shirt.
“Yeah, well, not all of us can afford to dress up in expensive clothes.”
“I work for these clothes!” Arthur retorted. “What do you do, dare I ask.”
Merlin gave him his own wide-eyed look. “Not that it's any of your business, but I'm a writer.”
“So, you work at the food court, then?”
“Could you be any more of a prat?!” Merlin sputtered. He turned around and grabbed his lone bag off the floor before turning back to Arthur. “I think I liked you better in the stall, mate.” As Merlin made to walk past him, Arthur sidestepped, easily blocking his escape. He may not usually look for guys like Merlin physically, but he'd be damned if the whole exchange wasn't turning him on more than anyone had in awhile.
It also didn't escape his notice that Merlin had an equally impressive hard-on straining at his jeans.
“I'm...I'm sorry,” Arthur softly pleaded and it wasn't very often he found himself apologizing. “You're probably on the back of some cover up at the bookstore and I'll feel like a right git when you show it to me.”
Merlin slumped a bit then, relaxing from his tense escape stance. “Not exactly. I'm a technical writer. Write manuals and stuff like that.”
“Oh, so you're the one responsible for all those awful instructions in cheap furniture, then?” Arthur tried to keep his voice light and teasing and was rewarded with Merlin's smile.
“Yeah, that's me. Bane of uni students and cheap flatmates everywhere.”
Arthur laughed. “So, am I forgiven for being a prat? It's my environment I think. Stress-related.” Arthur could feel his arousal curling back up his spine as Merlin gave him a coy look that shouldn't make him look as sexy as it did given the awful florescent lighting.
“Stress, huh? Maybe we should do something about that.”
The first brush of fingers against Arthur's buttoned shirt set him on fire and he crushed his mouth to Merlin's in a possessive kiss. “Tell me there's a lock on the door,” Arthur mumbled against Merlin's mouth.
“Dunno, let's check.” His slighter frame belied his strength Arthur realized, as Merlin palmed his chest and pushed him back against the door. “Oh look, here we are,” Merlin whispered into Arthur's ear as he leaned over to lock the main door. Soon as he heard the click of the lock closing, Arthur grabbed Merlin in turn, flipping them over and devouring his mouth once more. For long moments, the only sounds between them were the smack of lips and grunts as they grabbed at each others' clothing.
“Careful,”Arthur managed to gasp, “This is an expensive shirt.” Merlin slowed his pace then, trailing light kisses down Arthur's neck, his long, nimble fingers making quick work of the small buttons.
“See?” Merlin breathed into Arthur's ear. “No harm done.” His wicked smile was back as he placed an almost chaste kiss to Arthur's lips before leaning down to lick and kiss the newly exposed skin of Arthur's chest.
“Hey,” Arthur protested, pushing slightly on Merlin's shoulders. When that didn't work, he grabbed as much of the man's short dark hair he could and gently pulled. Merlin instantly looked at Arthur, his previously blue eyes almost completely dark. Arthur filed that reaction for later (right next to how he might use the belt) and let go. “No fair, you don't have buttons. Guess I'll just have to get the whole picture in one go”.
Merlin stepped back a bit and grabbed his shirt before looking up at Arthur. “Did you wanna?”
Arthur grinned his own wicked smile and was pleased to see Merlin react to it. “Nah, it's ok. I want to watch you.”
“Figures I have to undress both of us,” Merlin grumbled, but it was said with a smile and he gracefully pulled off his shirt to reveal a muscled chest and a smattering of dark hair. Arthur was too caught-up in looking and missed his chance to do anything else as Merlin swept back toward him and resumed exploring Arthur's chest with his lips and tongue while quietly undoing the rest of the buttons. Arthur's paralysis didn't last long and soon his hands roamed over all the exposed skin he could touch and carded through Merlin's soft hair. The moan Merlin voiced in response had Arthur's cock straining even more against his zipper as he wondered how it might feel to have Merlin do that while sucking him off. He didn't have telepathic abilities he was sure, but still less than a minute after he had that thought, Merlin sank to his knees and mouthed Arthur's very prominent erection through his pants.
“Fuck.” Arthur couldn't be any more coherent than that.
“What, not going to warn me about drooling on your pants?”
Arthur looked down at the man currently giving him a wicked grin and groaned. “Clearly I'm doing something wrong,” Arthur mused and grabbed Merlin's hair again, just a little harder this time. Merlin hissed but didn't pull away, instead his fingers came around from where they had been kneading Arthur's ass and made short work of his belt and trouser fastenings, moaning again as the material pooled around Arthur's feet.
“Do that on my cock,”Arthur pleaded as he relaxed his fingers in Merlin's hair. He had never been quite this demanding or forward with previous lovers, but something about the way Merlin responded to him brought out a whole new side of himself.
“Fuck, yeah,” Merlin breathed, tugging down Arthur's underwear and wasting no time in working his erection, licking a stripe up the underside before taking as much as he could between his lips.
Arthur was probably not going to last long but he didn't really care.
Merlin was really into the whole thing and it spurred Arthur on. “I believe I asked for moaning,” Arthur panted as he grabbed Merlin's hair tighter again. Merlin responded exactly the way he wanted. “Oh, god,” Arthur's control slipped as Merlin continued to hum and moan around him, licking and sucking with enthusiasm. His grip on Merlin's hair didn't relax at all as his hips began to move with the rhythm Merlin had set. “Fuck, your mouth...” Arthur was glad Merlin was otherwise occupied but he still heard the 'you already are' in his head. Arthur was pretty sure that should worry him. Arthur tried very hard not to grip Merlin's hair too tightly but he gave up after awhile on keeping his counter thrusts shallow. Arthur came down Merlin's throat a few minutes later with his name spilling from his lips.
Arthur had shut his eyes against the ugliness of his surroundings, preferring to only concentrate on the gorgeous man still kneeling in front of him. Merlin stood up and Arthur grabbed him roughly, pulling him flush and kissing him open-mouthed and sloppy. “God, I wish I could fuck you right now,” Arthur whispered into Merlin's ear before flipping him around and bracing him against the door.
“Want my ass, do you?” Merlin teased.
“Yes. Don't have anything though.” Arthur apologized for his understandable lack of forethought by rubbing Merlin through his jeans and nipping at the exposed flesh of his neck and shoulder blades. Stepping back, Arthur took a moment to admire the view before him - Merlin, lean and strong, pressed up against the door with his palms spread wide.
“Next time,” Merlin whispered to himself, disbelief clear in his voice.
Arthur nuzzled beneath his ear. “Yeah.”
Merlin turned around, surprise clear on his face, and Arthur took advantage of the situation by dropping to his knees. It wasn't as if Arthur had never sucked a bloke off before, but it was not one of his more practiced moves. Still, he wanted to make it good for Merlin after what he'd just done for him. He took his time unzipping the jeans, lightly tracing the outline of Merlin's cock. “You like sucking cock, huh,” Arthur asked, not really expecting an answer.
“I liked sucking yours,” was Merlin's ragged reply.
Arthur smiled and made quick work of pulling down Merlin's tight jeans.
“I'm not gonna last long,” Merlin confessed, closing his eyes and tipping his head back.
“S'alright,” Arthur reassured him as he studied Merlin's dick bobbing in front of his face. Arthur gently ran a finger down the shaft taking in the silky feel of it before wrapping his fingers around the base and sucking lightly on the crown. Merlin's stifled gasp encouraged Arthur that he hadn't completely forgotten how to do this. Closing his eyes, Arthur concentrated on the feel of Merlin's skin on his fingers, the heaviness of his cock and the musky scent of his arousal. His own arousal had been dealt with so Arthur was free to explore all the ways he could coax different sounds from his partner. He varied the pace and tried to take as much in as possible. He hoped his lack of practice wasn't terribly obvious. When he dared to open his eyes and look up, the sight of Merlin nearly made him hard again. His eyes were clenched shut, bottom lip held between his teeth as his fingers idly made fists at his sides. Arthur moaned and placed a long lick to the underside of his shaft. “God, Merlin, you look so hot.”
Merlin looked down at Arthur and his barely-blue eyes shone with tension. Arthur sucked Merlin's cock back into his mouth, taking as much as he could - as an afterthought, he brought his other hand up to lightly grasp Merlin's balls. Arthur was unprepared for the sensation as Merlin promptly lost whatever control he had been clinging to and came down Arthur's throat with a shout. Arthur pulled off slowly, wiping at his mouth and chin.
Arthur could have taken a good ten minutes to revel in the afterglow of Merlin slumped against the door panting, but the bright lights and cold tile reminded him they were lucky to have been left in peace this long. Standingup, Arthur began to dress himself, not really caring that he was probably going to walk back out into a crowd of people looking like he'd just had sex in a bathroom.
It had totally been worth it.
Merlin was slower to respond and Arthur took the lead, helping him pull up his pants and righting his shirt. He caught Merlin starting as he re-buttoned his own and couldn't help but comment, “not as fun putting it back on.” Merlin chuckled and Arthur smiled back. “How many more you have to buy?”
Merlin looked at his lone bag and sighed. “Five. You?”
“Six,” Arthur replied. “One gift card for my step-sister and five 'thank you for being a suck-up' presents for management.”
Merlin fully laughed at that, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Sounds fun. You should get gag gifts.” At Arthur's scandalized look, Merlin kept laughing. “I'm serious! C'mon Arthur, you're getting gifts for people who work for you - do they even know you? I bet they think you're some kind of stuck-up prat.”
“I'm the boss' son,” Arthur sighed. “Somehow I don't think a whoopee cushion would be an appropriate gift.”
Merlin snorted. “See? That's what's different about us. I personally think that's a brilliant idea. I'd love it if my boss got me something like that. Showed me he was human.”
“I'm not supposed to be human.”
Merlin's look was sympathetic as he moved in and took over buttoning the remainder of Arthur's shirt. “Based on what I've just seen of you, Arthur, I'd say that's someone else talking.”
Arthur shut his eyes and leaned his head forward, meeting Merlin's halfway. “You're not wrong,” he confessed.
“Is that why holidays are so miserable for you? You don't allow yourself the luxury of being human?”
Merlin's question brought Arthur right back to his conversation with Morgana. ”I love you and I want you to be happy...you need a new reason to celebrate.” They were both right; Arthur was only human and deserved to be happy. And he needed a new reason to celebrate.
“Fancy some coffee?” Arthur grabbed for his own bags and bumped Merlin's shoulder. “I'm a sucker for caffeine and I figure if we have to go back out there, we should be prepared.”
Merlin's eyes searched him for a long moment and then he broke into a wide smile. “More of a tea man, myself.”
Arthur gave an exaggerated sigh. “Nobody's perfect, I suppose.”
Merlin laughed and unlocked the door, opening and holding it for Arthur. “Maybe after that I can help you pick out presents for your managers.”
Arthur grinned. “Christmas will never be the same.”
Merlin gave him a shoulder-bump in return. “Hope not.”
Author/Artist:Zafra
Rating:NC-17
Character(s)/Pairing(s):Arthur/Merlin
Word Count:4,990
Summary: Arthur takes the manly route after a frustrating day Christmas shopping. He hides in the loo.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction - none of this ever happened. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this work. Please observe your local laws with regards to the age-limit and content of this work.
Whomever decided that large, squarish paper bags with thin, rolled paper handles that ripped-off easily if said bag contained more than about five pounds were appropriate should be shot. Most likely they worked in some posh cubicle somewhere and fancied themselves way too hip or artsy to actually shop at a mall. They most likely shopped at thrift stores, or Goodwill. Hell, they might even have their own sewing machine and just make their own clothes.
Whoever they were, Arthur was pretty damn sure they weren't slogging through the mall on the Saturday before Christmas. They weren't six presents behind and wishing, like he did every year, they had started shopping back in August. Or July. Hell, he was going to start shopping for next year during the upcoming January clearance sales. Day after Christmas, even.
Provided he could pry himself out of bed and his feet weren't swollen beyond the fit of his shoes.
It didn't used to be like this, of course. Arthur hurried past the mall Santa up on his big red chair and clutched to the feeling of bitterness that swept over him. He wasn't real, after all. It wasn't like if he sat on his lap (as if the staff would let him) and wished to be ten again, or heck, even fifteen, it would work. Life just moved on. Arthur had done the childishness of Christmas when he was a child. Now, he was an adult. He had responsibilities to his family. To his company.
If in some part of his brain it seemed a little sad that the most joy he could hope for this year was Morgana actually getting him the single-serve coffee machine he had been eyeing in Brookstone well - it was a nice machine and he couldn't live without coffee, right? He had grown beyond video games and there just wasn't any time to go skiing or sledding these days.
The time of being happy with simple gifts and the joy of having visiting family around seemed gone and Arthur purposely looked away from the sprawling Santa display and the twinkling lights of the gigantic tree in center court. He had to find a gift for Morgana that he hoped would say either 'thanks for the coffee maker' or 'bet you wish you'd gotten me that coffee maker now, huh?' in the same gift. He knew, pragmatically, that a gift card would be his best bet and would most likely save his poor step-sister from being stuck in a terribly long line on January-whatever trying to exchange whatever pathetic gift he picked out that showcased nothing but his terribly 'un-gay' fashion or decorating sense. Arthur had always felt that gift cards were horribly anti-climactic, though. There just wasn't the same feeling when tearing into an envelope and finding a gift card with your store-bought pleasantries compared to seeing a box with a bow and ribbon that had a tag on it with your name and “From”. If he didn't know the woman well enough to buy her a decent gift after living under the same roof for over a decade then Arthur should just give up right now.
Fate decided to remind him how much he couldn't give up - his phone was buzzing in his pocket and it was Morgana calling.
“Hello, witch!” Arthur infused his voice with as much false cheer as he could muster.
“Arthur! Lovely to hear the voice of Satan on this festive Saturday.” Morgana's own overly cheerful response loosened the tightness in Arthur's chest just a bit.
“To what do I owe this unexpected interruption?”
“Quick question - did you want the single-serve hot coffee maker, or the one that can brew cold as well?”
Morgana sounded so incredibly sincere and Arthur squashed-down the lump of disappointment that welled up in his throat. “The hot one. I'm not a giant fan of cold coffee.”
“Ok! Just wanted to be sure. I know how hellish those after-Christmas lines can be!”
“That's it, Morgana. You're getting a gift card. Pick the store.” Arthur tried to keep it light, but he knew he wasn't entirely successful.
“Oh, Arthur. Why are you trying so hard?”
Sympathetic Morgana was something Arthur was not used to and he still believed she pulled it out on special occasions just to torment him. “What would you have me do? Catch a plane to Tahiti during the holidays and leave you all a wad of cash to split between yourselves?”
“Wow. You'd really do that, wouldn't you.”
The firmness in her tone told Arthur his game was up. “Not that exactly, perhaps.” The silence dragged on after his sorta-confession and he flicked the button on his phone to ensure the call was still active. “I...it's just....” Arthur had no idea what to actually say. He knew how he felt - the holidays were a giant ball of stress and an obligation he'd happily send anywhere but to his own front door - but he was stuck.
“Arthur? You know I don't need anything fancy, right? I mean, you're my brother and I love you - I want you to be happy. That will make me happy.”
She sounded sincere and it made Arthur's knees weak. He sat down on the thin edge of a planter since all the benches were taken. “I'm sorry, Morgana. I don't mean to take it out on you. I just...” Arthur contemplated what to say next, but Morgana read him like a book as always.
“You're not in the holiday spirit at all, are you.” Morgana's voice brooked no argument and Arthur didn't try to give one. “I was at your flat last week, remember? Two weeks before Christmas and you didn't even have a tree! I think this is the first year that's happened, too. That's why it struck me.”
“Last year I didn't do it myself. I paid a decorator to come in and spruce up the place.” Arthur felt another small knot unravel in his chest as he said it. This certainly wasn't the first year he'd felt this way - this was just the first year he'd refused to cover it up with fancy trimmings.
“You need a new reason to celebrate,” Morgana announced. “I love you, really, but I have my own family now and it makes a difference.” Her voice got quiet and Arthur understood exactly what she meant. For a long time it had just been them with their father. He wasn't exactly the type to embrace the spirit of the holiday and if it wasn't for their nanny, Arthur doubted he would have even known who that jolly man in the red suit was supposed to be. Holidays in their home were always bright and cheerful, though as Arthur grew he slowly realized it was not his father's warmth and love that made the holiday bright and cheerful but rather the people he employed to decorate, bake and shop. Arthur knew it was probably the only way Uther knew to give his children the holiday he felt they deserved - the same commercial holiday staring him in the face right now from every corner of the brightly decorated mall.
“You're right. I need another reason to celebrate.” Arthur smiled a bit and swallowed. “So, what store would you like your gift certificate from?” Morgana's giggle should have made him nervous, but instead it unwound a bit more of the knot in his chest.
“Victoria's Secret of course!”
“Of course.” Arthur couldn't quite stomp the dread completely out of his voice and Morgana's unabashed laughter from the other end of the call told him it was noticed.
Arthur had never hated gay stereotypes more than in that moment.
“You know you love it - just picture some club twink in one of the g-strings and I'm sure it'll elevate the whole experience.”
Arthur hated to tell Morgana that he barely went to clubs at all, let alone 'gay' ones, and that in general, skinny effeminate twinks just weren't his cup of tea. “Oh, thank you for making the experience that much better for me.” If Morgana caught the sarcasm dripping off that comment, she kept it to herself.
“Make it a decent amount, Arthur. I want to buy some new lingerie.”
“Thank you Morgana, that was most definitely a visual I did not need.”
“I'm not sure what's worse - that you're repulsed by the thought of me in lingerie or that you can actually picture it.” Her playful tone brought a chuckle from Arthur.
“Let me go. The sooner I get your card the sooner I can get on with the few others things I need and be done with this whole miserable experience.”
“Fair enough. Will you be at dinner tomorrow night? We're looking forward to seeing you.”
“Of course. I wouldn't miss it.” The call ended, as it always did with them. It wasn't that they didn't care about each other; they just both hated the word goodbye.
Arthur spent a few more moments gathering himself before slowly pushing off the ledge and adjusting his shopping bags. He could do this. Just one gift card and a few other trinkets. How difficult could it be? Luckily Morgana's present would be found just around the corner from where he was currently standing. And standing.
After the third person roughly bumped into him, Arthur gave up. The tedium of picking out gifts and the stress of getting the perfect one was overwhelming.
He needed a break. He knew the food court was brimming over with stressed shoppers and the last place he wanted to be. He could always go back to his car for a bit and listen to the radio, but it was cold and Arthur didn't want to spend his time shivering. It wasn't dignified or perhaps even safe, but no one would be the wiser and Arthur knew what his next course of action would have to be.
He was going to bite the bullet and hide in the loo.
Thankfully, despite the crowds, the bathroom Arthur found off a random corridor was virtually empty. Tempting as it was, he didn't take up the handicap stall, rather he tried to condense his bags as much as possible and stuffed himself into a regular sized one. Sighing, he decided to at least go through the motions; it wasn't like he was going to sit down on the seat in his pants. He'd been so wrapped-up in his own thoughts, the sound of another voice cutting through the silence startled Arthur making him jump.
“Hey, got any toilet paper?”
“Fuck, give a guy some warning, yeah?”
“Sorry. Thought you knew I was here.” The voice wasn't unpleasant and Arthur found himself drawn into the exchange despite his initial desire to just decompress.
“I didn't pay that much attention - give me a second,” Arthur looked around his small cubicle and had a momentary panic attack - here he was in a small, cramped loo and forced to interact with someone else.
“It's not a problem, really. I just felt weird for a moment.”
The voice was not entirely like his own, but close enough to put Arthur at ease. “Hiding in the loo, mate?”
The light chuckle that followed shouldn't have aroused Arthur the way it did. “Same could be said for you, yeah?”
Arthur laughed in spite of himself. “Yeah, you caught me. A week before Christmas and I'm taking a rest in the loo rather than face my gift-buying demons.”
The mysterious stranger laughed and it lightened Arthur's chest more. “Can't say I blame you. I'm here too. After all.” The resigned tone of the comment spoke to Arthur and he couldn't help but sympathize with the faceless voice next to him. “Hard to buy for people innit?”
“You said it,” Arthur responded. “Even when you know what they want, it always feels somehow...wrong.”
“It's this whole bloody holiday,” his companion groused. “Everywhere you turn it's all about buying your way into folks' favor. Sick, really.”
Arthur nodded and then realized no one could see him. “Yeah.” He sighed loudly, sparing a glance at the bags surrounding him and shot a look at the cubicle next to him. A pair of worn canvas sneakers poked-out from a pair of jeans and Arthur couldn't help but notice there was only one bag on the other side. “Looks like you took a break earlier than me, eh?”
“Not that many people to buy for.”
“Oh, I don't get that lucky,” Arthur mused. “It was bad enough when it was just the three of us and the management at work I had to get things for. Now my bloody sister had to go and get married and spawn.” That earned a chuckle from the other side.
“Lucky me, no sibs. Just mum, Gaius and a few friends.”
“No girlfriend?” Arthur wasn't even going to try to lie to himself - he was stressed-out in a mostly deserted mall bathroom with another bloke. If there was any chance at all, he was going to bloody well take it.
“Nah, not my thing.”
“Yeah, me either.” Arthur got a bit nervous then - despite the prevalence of it in clubs and other areas, he had never been a giant fan of bathroom sex. Not to mention he wasn't even sure if he had anything on him to do it with. Sure would be nice, though.
“No boyfriend for you to buy for either, then?”
The question startled Arthur, but he realized it was probably just his companion making sure he'd heard correctly. “Nope. Not really dating right now.”
“Shame. You sound sexy.”
Arthur blushed a bit despite being alone. Flirting was something he'd not done in quite awhile and he'd forgotten how nice it could be. “Yeah?”
“Bet you're one of those well-dressed corporate types. Likes wearing suits and ties.” The tone of the other man's voice changed just a bit with that comment and Arthur's dick took notice. “Wearing one now?”
“No,” Arthur managed to say in calm voice. “Button-down, though.”
“Belt?”
Dear God. “Yeah.”
“Mmmm,” was the only response to that and Arthur felt equally relieved and disappointed.
“What's your name?” Generally Arthur didn't care in these situations but for some reason he wanted to know who this guy was.
“Merlin.”
“Interesting name.”
“Old family name, evidently. You?”
“Arthur.”
Again, that low sexy chuckle. “That's very posh and corporate, I'll give you that.”
“Thanks, I think.” Arthur had enough of sitting on the uncomfortable seat, so he got up, carefully tucked his budding erection into his pants and opened the door.
“Where you going?” The voice was once again normal and even a bit unsure. Normally, Arthur would probably play a bit, talk about how busy and important he was and how he couldn't just sit idly in a bathroom stall all day making small talk. Today, though, he wasn't that Arthur - he was the small, scared Arthur he usually never let anyone see. The one who was hiding in the toilets to avoid Christmas shopping. Somehow he got the feeling Merlin would see right through it.
“Nowhere. Just tired of sitting. Besides, I'm not much for imagining so I was hoping to find out what you're wearing in person.”
After a few moments of silence, Arthur got a bit concerned. “Merlin? You alright in there?”
“Yeah,” came the soft reply in an entirely different tone than the flirty one Arthur had been hearing thus-far. “Just, be out in a second.”
Arthur had a momentary panic-attack. What if his flirty companion was underage? Maybe he didn't want anything but a mutual fantasy session and Arthur was scaring him off? Arthur blamed his own overactive imagination for what happened next.
Merlin opened his own door and the first words out of Arthur's mouth were “You're not underage, are you?”
“Wow, if that's the best you can do I think we should go back into our stalls.”
Arthur's eyebrows shot up as he took in the sight of Merlin. He was exactly the opposite of Arthur's normal type - not quite twink but still skinny and rather punk looking. Oh god, he was probably a vegetarian or something. “Sorry, it's just...” Arthur waved his hand to indicate Merlin's skinny but admittedly well-fitting jeans and t-shirt.
“Yeah, well, not all of us can afford to dress up in expensive clothes.”
“I work for these clothes!” Arthur retorted. “What do you do, dare I ask.”
Merlin gave him his own wide-eyed look. “Not that it's any of your business, but I'm a writer.”
“So, you work at the food court, then?”
“Could you be any more of a prat?!” Merlin sputtered. He turned around and grabbed his lone bag off the floor before turning back to Arthur. “I think I liked you better in the stall, mate.” As Merlin made to walk past him, Arthur sidestepped, easily blocking his escape. He may not usually look for guys like Merlin physically, but he'd be damned if the whole exchange wasn't turning him on more than anyone had in awhile.
It also didn't escape his notice that Merlin had an equally impressive hard-on straining at his jeans.
“I'm...I'm sorry,” Arthur softly pleaded and it wasn't very often he found himself apologizing. “You're probably on the back of some cover up at the bookstore and I'll feel like a right git when you show it to me.”
Merlin slumped a bit then, relaxing from his tense escape stance. “Not exactly. I'm a technical writer. Write manuals and stuff like that.”
“Oh, so you're the one responsible for all those awful instructions in cheap furniture, then?” Arthur tried to keep his voice light and teasing and was rewarded with Merlin's smile.
“Yeah, that's me. Bane of uni students and cheap flatmates everywhere.”
Arthur laughed. “So, am I forgiven for being a prat? It's my environment I think. Stress-related.” Arthur could feel his arousal curling back up his spine as Merlin gave him a coy look that shouldn't make him look as sexy as it did given the awful florescent lighting.
“Stress, huh? Maybe we should do something about that.”
The first brush of fingers against Arthur's buttoned shirt set him on fire and he crushed his mouth to Merlin's in a possessive kiss. “Tell me there's a lock on the door,” Arthur mumbled against Merlin's mouth.
“Dunno, let's check.” His slighter frame belied his strength Arthur realized, as Merlin palmed his chest and pushed him back against the door. “Oh look, here we are,” Merlin whispered into Arthur's ear as he leaned over to lock the main door. Soon as he heard the click of the lock closing, Arthur grabbed Merlin in turn, flipping them over and devouring his mouth once more. For long moments, the only sounds between them were the smack of lips and grunts as they grabbed at each others' clothing.
“Careful,”Arthur managed to gasp, “This is an expensive shirt.” Merlin slowed his pace then, trailing light kisses down Arthur's neck, his long, nimble fingers making quick work of the small buttons.
“See?” Merlin breathed into Arthur's ear. “No harm done.” His wicked smile was back as he placed an almost chaste kiss to Arthur's lips before leaning down to lick and kiss the newly exposed skin of Arthur's chest.
“Hey,” Arthur protested, pushing slightly on Merlin's shoulders. When that didn't work, he grabbed as much of the man's short dark hair he could and gently pulled. Merlin instantly looked at Arthur, his previously blue eyes almost completely dark. Arthur filed that reaction for later (right next to how he might use the belt) and let go. “No fair, you don't have buttons. Guess I'll just have to get the whole picture in one go”.
Merlin stepped back a bit and grabbed his shirt before looking up at Arthur. “Did you wanna?”
Arthur grinned his own wicked smile and was pleased to see Merlin react to it. “Nah, it's ok. I want to watch you.”
“Figures I have to undress both of us,” Merlin grumbled, but it was said with a smile and he gracefully pulled off his shirt to reveal a muscled chest and a smattering of dark hair. Arthur was too caught-up in looking and missed his chance to do anything else as Merlin swept back toward him and resumed exploring Arthur's chest with his lips and tongue while quietly undoing the rest of the buttons. Arthur's paralysis didn't last long and soon his hands roamed over all the exposed skin he could touch and carded through Merlin's soft hair. The moan Merlin voiced in response had Arthur's cock straining even more against his zipper as he wondered how it might feel to have Merlin do that while sucking him off. He didn't have telepathic abilities he was sure, but still less than a minute after he had that thought, Merlin sank to his knees and mouthed Arthur's very prominent erection through his pants.
“Fuck.” Arthur couldn't be any more coherent than that.
“What, not going to warn me about drooling on your pants?”
Arthur looked down at the man currently giving him a wicked grin and groaned. “Clearly I'm doing something wrong,” Arthur mused and grabbed Merlin's hair again, just a little harder this time. Merlin hissed but didn't pull away, instead his fingers came around from where they had been kneading Arthur's ass and made short work of his belt and trouser fastenings, moaning again as the material pooled around Arthur's feet.
“Do that on my cock,”Arthur pleaded as he relaxed his fingers in Merlin's hair. He had never been quite this demanding or forward with previous lovers, but something about the way Merlin responded to him brought out a whole new side of himself.
“Fuck, yeah,” Merlin breathed, tugging down Arthur's underwear and wasting no time in working his erection, licking a stripe up the underside before taking as much as he could between his lips.
Arthur was probably not going to last long but he didn't really care.
Merlin was really into the whole thing and it spurred Arthur on. “I believe I asked for moaning,” Arthur panted as he grabbed Merlin's hair tighter again. Merlin responded exactly the way he wanted. “Oh, god,” Arthur's control slipped as Merlin continued to hum and moan around him, licking and sucking with enthusiasm. His grip on Merlin's hair didn't relax at all as his hips began to move with the rhythm Merlin had set. “Fuck, your mouth...” Arthur was glad Merlin was otherwise occupied but he still heard the 'you already are' in his head. Arthur was pretty sure that should worry him. Arthur tried very hard not to grip Merlin's hair too tightly but he gave up after awhile on keeping his counter thrusts shallow. Arthur came down Merlin's throat a few minutes later with his name spilling from his lips.
Arthur had shut his eyes against the ugliness of his surroundings, preferring to only concentrate on the gorgeous man still kneeling in front of him. Merlin stood up and Arthur grabbed him roughly, pulling him flush and kissing him open-mouthed and sloppy. “God, I wish I could fuck you right now,” Arthur whispered into Merlin's ear before flipping him around and bracing him against the door.
“Want my ass, do you?” Merlin teased.
“Yes. Don't have anything though.” Arthur apologized for his understandable lack of forethought by rubbing Merlin through his jeans and nipping at the exposed flesh of his neck and shoulder blades. Stepping back, Arthur took a moment to admire the view before him - Merlin, lean and strong, pressed up against the door with his palms spread wide.
“Next time,” Merlin whispered to himself, disbelief clear in his voice.
Arthur nuzzled beneath his ear. “Yeah.”
Merlin turned around, surprise clear on his face, and Arthur took advantage of the situation by dropping to his knees. It wasn't as if Arthur had never sucked a bloke off before, but it was not one of his more practiced moves. Still, he wanted to make it good for Merlin after what he'd just done for him. He took his time unzipping the jeans, lightly tracing the outline of Merlin's cock. “You like sucking cock, huh,” Arthur asked, not really expecting an answer.
“I liked sucking yours,” was Merlin's ragged reply.
Arthur smiled and made quick work of pulling down Merlin's tight jeans.
“I'm not gonna last long,” Merlin confessed, closing his eyes and tipping his head back.
“S'alright,” Arthur reassured him as he studied Merlin's dick bobbing in front of his face. Arthur gently ran a finger down the shaft taking in the silky feel of it before wrapping his fingers around the base and sucking lightly on the crown. Merlin's stifled gasp encouraged Arthur that he hadn't completely forgotten how to do this. Closing his eyes, Arthur concentrated on the feel of Merlin's skin on his fingers, the heaviness of his cock and the musky scent of his arousal. His own arousal had been dealt with so Arthur was free to explore all the ways he could coax different sounds from his partner. He varied the pace and tried to take as much in as possible. He hoped his lack of practice wasn't terribly obvious. When he dared to open his eyes and look up, the sight of Merlin nearly made him hard again. His eyes were clenched shut, bottom lip held between his teeth as his fingers idly made fists at his sides. Arthur moaned and placed a long lick to the underside of his shaft. “God, Merlin, you look so hot.”
Merlin looked down at Arthur and his barely-blue eyes shone with tension. Arthur sucked Merlin's cock back into his mouth, taking as much as he could - as an afterthought, he brought his other hand up to lightly grasp Merlin's balls. Arthur was unprepared for the sensation as Merlin promptly lost whatever control he had been clinging to and came down Arthur's throat with a shout. Arthur pulled off slowly, wiping at his mouth and chin.
Arthur could have taken a good ten minutes to revel in the afterglow of Merlin slumped against the door panting, but the bright lights and cold tile reminded him they were lucky to have been left in peace this long. Standingup, Arthur began to dress himself, not really caring that he was probably going to walk back out into a crowd of people looking like he'd just had sex in a bathroom.
It had totally been worth it.
Merlin was slower to respond and Arthur took the lead, helping him pull up his pants and righting his shirt. He caught Merlin starting as he re-buttoned his own and couldn't help but comment, “not as fun putting it back on.” Merlin chuckled and Arthur smiled back. “How many more you have to buy?”
Merlin looked at his lone bag and sighed. “Five. You?”
“Six,” Arthur replied. “One gift card for my step-sister and five 'thank you for being a suck-up' presents for management.”
Merlin fully laughed at that, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Sounds fun. You should get gag gifts.” At Arthur's scandalized look, Merlin kept laughing. “I'm serious! C'mon Arthur, you're getting gifts for people who work for you - do they even know you? I bet they think you're some kind of stuck-up prat.”
“I'm the boss' son,” Arthur sighed. “Somehow I don't think a whoopee cushion would be an appropriate gift.”
Merlin snorted. “See? That's what's different about us. I personally think that's a brilliant idea. I'd love it if my boss got me something like that. Showed me he was human.”
“I'm not supposed to be human.”
Merlin's look was sympathetic as he moved in and took over buttoning the remainder of Arthur's shirt. “Based on what I've just seen of you, Arthur, I'd say that's someone else talking.”
Arthur shut his eyes and leaned his head forward, meeting Merlin's halfway. “You're not wrong,” he confessed.
“Is that why holidays are so miserable for you? You don't allow yourself the luxury of being human?”
Merlin's question brought Arthur right back to his conversation with Morgana. ”I love you and I want you to be happy...you need a new reason to celebrate.” They were both right; Arthur was only human and deserved to be happy. And he needed a new reason to celebrate.
“Fancy some coffee?” Arthur grabbed for his own bags and bumped Merlin's shoulder. “I'm a sucker for caffeine and I figure if we have to go back out there, we should be prepared.”
Merlin's eyes searched him for a long moment and then he broke into a wide smile. “More of a tea man, myself.”
Arthur gave an exaggerated sigh. “Nobody's perfect, I suppose.”
Merlin laughed and unlocked the door, opening and holding it for Arthur. “Maybe after that I can help you pick out presents for your managers.”
Arthur grinned. “Christmas will never be the same.”
Merlin gave him a shoulder-bump in return. “Hope not.”