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[zakamus]

Today I was experimenting with haikus, I'm just learning how to write them but heres something I came up with:

The grass shares my breath
Wind flies overhead unseen
My breath is not mine

Hopefully as I get better at them I will post more!

Comments

[poppytoads]

Well I know I already gave you a little feedback, but not much, so I'll give you more.

It is a really good haiku, it made me realize how close we really are to nature, even if we don't think about it often. That last line, "My breath is not my own" was my favorite. It's like we all share our breath with the wind, we may breathe at certain times, at certain paces, but it all comes from the same place.

Hope you know where I'm coming from, or understand some of that. Anyway, that's an awesome start. Keep up the good work! I would love to see more poetry in your entries.

=shay=

[zakamus]

why thank you shay. You definatly pin pointed a lot of what I was trying to get across.

[son_of_earth]

I really got a kick out of these haikus people made up for use as windows error messages:

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

[cocoxonut]

hey zach!
its jenny from english!
friend me :)