Changeling.

[zaliness]

so this is what comes from having youre identity crafted for you. everything i fought for as a teenager coming back to bite me cause now theres nothing left to fight. crumbling under the lack of pressure, the weight of self-responsibility something different. its harder when theres noone else otblame

Comments

[rejectedphoenix]

missing someone is an excuse. all this time youve been making excuses and not taking responsibility for your life and your mistakes. your too caught up in what everyone else is doing...what everyone else thinks of you. screw em! stop losing yourself in the falsness of what everyone else wants you to be. they dont like you for who you are? too bad. wait for someone who does. believe in yourself. be something that YOU can be happy with. i know your strong enough. just gotta lay off the dutch courage and find some of the real deal :P

not all is lost

[gemgem]

you weren't the only one giving everything for that relationship. something was given to you too. and if thats all you can hold onto at the moment, that's enough.

yesturday i got sick of the constant self hatred and i decided to spend an hour praising myself (sounds lame, but hey, i felt better). I fell down and I thought "wow, gemma, that was a fucking awesome fall, you're so cool." stuff like that. it helped.

just to remind you; you are worthy of unconditional love. and if all you can do at the moment is breathe, we will love you still. don't rush it.

the thing is, even if you lose everthing again, you would at least know how to start putting things back together again. you are worth being the best you can be, i promise. it will just take time, and it might be painful, but nothing compared to the pain of nothingness.

love ya,
gem

ps - peter says all ya need to do is start putting the building blocks back together. ;P