Guidance Counselor
Title: Guidance Counselor
Author: ZanneS
Rating: G
Genre: pre-series BTVS/Glee crossover
Characters: Brittany, Rupert Giles
Summary: The new guidance counselor wants to talk to Brittany about her potential future.
Author's Note: Thank you to fictionalfemme for agreeing to beta!
Disclaimer: Murphy and Whedon own all.
Guidance Counselor
Brittany studied her hall pass with her usual confused expression, making her way towards the guidance counselor’s office after being redirected for the third time. She thought she had known where the office was, it was the place that had that skinny, nervous woman with the red hair who looked like Bambi, but every time she passed it, all she saw was an old guy wearing glasses and a tweed coat.
She looked at the name still on the door, and the one written on the pass, and took a moment to consider the possibilities. Maybe Miss Pillsbury had a sex change operation? She had been gone for several days since Regionals.
Brittany wandered into the office, and hovered by the door. “Miss Pillsbury? Did you cut your hair?”
The older gentleman appeared surprised to see her, reaching up to snatch his glasses off his face and polish them with a tissue from his pocket, before replacing them solidly on his nose once more.
“Ah…um, Miss Pillsbury is currently on sabbatical for personal reasons,” he explained. “My name is Mr. Giles. I shall be filling in until her return.”
Brittany frowned down at the slip in her hand, and stated with assurance, “But it says I need to see the guidance counselor, and Miss Pillsbury is the guidance counselor.”
Mr. Giles coughed into his hand before fiddling with his glasses once more. “Yes…ah, think of me as Miss Pillsbury, if it makes you more comfortable. Please, take a seat.” He waited for the girl to sit, before shuffling through a stack of papers on his desk. “Just for verification, can you give me your name?”
“Brittany,” the blonde cheerleader stated, as if it were obvious. She held up the hall pass by her face and pointed. “It’s on the paper.” She studied him warily, head cocked to the side. “Are you sure you’re Miss Pillsbury? She would’ve known that already.”
The man rubbed at the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Last name?”
“I’m not supposed to give my name to strangers.”
“I’m not a stranger, I’m the guidance counselor!” Mr. Giles said through gritted teeth, before he calmed himself down and ran a hand through his hair. “Let’s skip that part….” He shuffled through some more pages before adding, “I see you’re a…Cheerio?” He looked up from his desk to study the girl before him, confusion spreading over his face. “Isn’t that a breakfast cereal?”
“I’m a cheerleader,” Brittany informed him, pointing at her uniform where WMHS was emblazoned across her chest. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t be allowed to wear this to school everyday.”
Mr. Giles huffed an irritated sigh and pushed the pile of papers to the side, leaning forward slightly as he clasped his hands on the desk before him. “Let’s get right to the point, Brittany. You may be what we call a Slayer-.”
“I like music!” She looked a bit happier at this news.
“What? Er…no. There is one girl in all the world with the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and forces of darkness….”
“Cool. Do I get, like, a free T-shirt or something?”
“This is a very seri-”
“Can Santana be a Slayer?”
“It’s one girl-”
“Do vampires sparkle?”
“Good God, no.”
Brittany looked more disappointed by this bit of news than the fact that Santana couldn’t be a Slayer, too.
“We’ll start training after school-”
“I have practice. Ms. Sylvester gets very angry if I’m late.”
“You’ll have to quit this…Cheerios, is it? It’s not nearly as impor-”
Brittany looked confused, but determined, and got out of her chair. “I’m sorry, Miss Pillsbury, but I can’t join your band if it means quitting the Cheerios. Can I go back to Spanish class now?”
Mr. Giles pinched the bridge of his nose again, his glasses riding up on his fingers. “Um…yes. I’ll speak with you later.”
Brittany skipped out of the room, leaving Mr. Giles grumbling something behind her. He pulled out a list from the bottom of the stack of papers by his elbow, and traced down the alphabetical list of names until he reached Brittany’s, where he crossed it out quite emphatically.
“Hhmmm, next on the list is a Buffy Summers.”