Gingerbread Cutter
Gingerbread Cutter
You used to think that since parts of yourselves are so intertwined with another’s, in their absence, your identity is suddenly chopped into pieces, scattering bits of yourselves with no glue to hold them all together. No matter how much effort you painstakingly pour into collecting all those mangled chunks of yourself, your belief that you’re incomplete completely distorts your goal to find your true self.
You are not seeking your identity. In your quest to feel whole, you have set a standard too improbable for other people to reach. You end up producing your own Gingerbread cutter, all the dough always surprisingly incapable of filling every nook and cranny your mould demands. You try, but not hard enough, to create something but always end up failing. In as much as you feel hollow, marred and broken, the pitiful results of your culinary attempts are just as lumpy, formless and hard.
Disappointment numbs your soul disillusioning you to the harsh reality that the void tearing your heart will either grow or remain instead of diminish. You dig up for yourself a deeper and darker hole with no will to see the light and for your senses to be brought to life.
Oh how utterly foolish you have become, selfishly thinking that you are alone. How stubborn are you in believing that what’s left of you is just a broken version of your past satisfied and contented self! You have tied up your happiness with another, never seeking it fully on your own. Your dependency’s rooted in your stupidity, your stubbornness leading to your loneliness. You fail to see that the happiness you seek should start from within.
You have built for yourself walls too thick for others to listen in, too high to reach and too tight to peak into its crevices. You deem yourself a hopeless case for the reason that you are literally hoping against hope, considering your hapless state to go on and on, never expiring.
How could people reach you if you have made yourself unreachable? How could people love you if you have made yourself unlovable?
Break down your walls. Step out of your comfort zone. Climb out of your shit hole. Discard the mould.
If you focus on what’s missing, you’ll end up missing what’s right in front of you.
Gee
