I didn’t
actually plan for this to become one of those “five times” fics, but that’s how
it wanted to turn out.
H50,
Danny/Steve
PG-13,
~3'000 words
Summary:
Five times Danny chickened out (and one time he didn't)
Gratitude:
Give it up for my golden girls:
inderpal!
elucreh!
foxxcub!
snarkaddict!
Warnings /
Spoilers: No warnings, no real spoilers.
Disclaimer:
Not mine, no profit, all that jazz.
No
Parachutes
I.
It was
amazing that Grace's small frame didn't stop her from taking up the better half
of the queen-sized hotel bed. Danny studied her for a long minute; her hair was
still damp and in disarray around her head, the strands appearing dark against
the white linen of the pillow. A light flush on her cheeks and nose hinted that
Danny would have to buy sunscreen with a higher protection filter.
Careful not
to disturb her sleep, he tugged the thin blanket up to cover her shoulders. It
wasn't cold in the room and by now, Danny was well aware that the temperature
didn't drop much during Hawaiian nights, had cursed the humid warmth more than
once, but certain reflexes he'd honed for years in New Jersey showed a
startling resistance to reality.
He made a
detour to grab a beer from the minibar before he opened the glass door and
stepped out onto the balcony. A warm evening breeze prompted condensation to
pearl on the glass bottle and soak the label. He slid the nail of his thumb
under one corner and started to peel the label off.
His cell
phone was lying on the desk inside. Its new background picture showed Grace,
laughing with a pair of dolphins just visible behind her, and Danny thought
about calling Steve. Instead, he uncapped his beer with the aid of the balcony
railing and watched the lights of the city sparkle below.
-
II.
Catherine was
beautiful. Danny had expected that part. What he hadn't expected was that she
and Steve acted like good, old friends rather than lovers.
“Never
heard of friends with benefits?” One corner of Steve's mouth lifted, but his
gaze was trained on the horizon and the sinking sun. His eyes narrowed when he
took a slow sip of wine, the glass oddly delicate in his hand.
“Well,
yeah.” Danny looked away. “Never been my style, though. Guess I wasn't made for
casual.”
“True. You
don't have even a trace of casual in your bones.” Steve sounded as if he was
laughing at a private joke. He swirled the wine in the glass. “Anyway, it's...
It works, for Cathy and me. She's in love with another guy anyway, but the
idiot's too blind to see.”
When Danny
glanced over, Steve's eyes reflected the sunset, showing the swirling colors of
the sky. His face was awash in golden light. Danny couldn't read him at all.
He cleared
his throat to say something, anything that would break the heavy silence
that loomed between them, but Catherine chose that moment to return from the
bathroom. In passing, she ran her fingertips over the back of Steve's neck.
Danny
looked away. The wine tasted stale.
-
III.
It was half
past five in the morning, and Danny hadn't slept in almost two days. When he
came home to find his apartment flooded, he turned on his heels, got back into
his car and drove to Steve's house.
He'd been
given a spare key weeks ago, to check on the mail while Steve had flown out for
a few days to attend some Navy reunion event, or whatever people in the Navy
called two days of fond reminiscing and heavy drinking. Either way, the topic
of Danny returning the key had never quite come up, and while Danny crashing on
Steve's couch probably wasn't what Steve had had in mind, it was late or early
or something in between, and all Danny wanted were a few hours of peace and a
horizontal surface that wasn't too uncomfortable
Steve's
couch felt like a slice of heaven.
He woke up
to the smell of coffee. The doors to the terrace were open, permitting sunlight
to flood the room, and Danny could hear someone move around in the kitchen.
Moments later, Steve entered with two cups of coffee and no shirt, and it was
the second rather than the first fact which made Danny swallow compulsively.
Sitting up,
he pushed a hand through his tangled hair before he accepted one of the cups.
“Thank you. And, um.” He squinted at Steve's sun-framed silhouette with an
apologetic frown. “Sorry about the late-night intrusion. My apartment now comes
with a waterbed.”
Steve sat
down on the free end of the couch, pulling one leg up as he leaned sideways
against the armrest. His bare stomach rippled. “I could say it's a shame about
the apartment and the bed, but really, it isn't. About either.”
Unfortunately,
Steve had a point.
“Thanks for
the sympathy,” Danny said dryly. “If we hadn't spent the last two days
together, I'd have suspected you of sabotage. But I think - I think,
mind you, because I can never be quite sure with you - that a gang war
involving machine guns is enough to keep even you busy.”
A tiny grin
hid in the corners of Steve's eyes. He shrugged and inhaled the scent of
coffee, ridiculously long lashes shading his eyes. “You know I have a guest
room, right?”
“Is that an
offer?” Danny hoped he didn't sound too grateful. “Because really, I could use
a place to stay while my apartment gets fixed.”
Steve
snorted softly. “You could use a place to stay that isn't your apartment, full
stop.”
“Is that an
offer?” Danny repeated. His head felt a little light.
“As I
said,” Steve's gaze met his for just a second, “I have a guest room. I don't
really need it. And Grace would probably prefer direct access to the beach over
direct access to a dirty sandbox that cats use as a toilet.”
“I...”
Danny cleared his throat and tried again. “Thank you.”
Steve's
smile curved around the rim of his cup as he took another sip. Then he rose
from the couch. “You want sugar?” he asked over his shoulder. “It's a new brand
of beans that I tried, but they're slightly more bitter than the ones I had
before.”
“I'm fine,”
Danny said, taking in the long, smooth expanse of Steve's back. He was more
than fine, in fact. He should say so, should tell Steve how much he truly
appreciated the offer even if they'd have to discuss rent and all that, but the
only thing he could think of was, “And that coffee is perfectly alright, if you
ask me. Not everyone drinks theirs with enough sugar to keep a spoon upright.”
Steve
glanced back, still smiling. “You're welcome, Danno.”
-
IV.
It was
mildly worrying how quickly they settled into a routine. The guest room - which
turned out to be Steve's childhood room - went through two days of
redecoration, of throwing out old posters and magazines and filling the cleared
space up with the few items Danny considered worth keeping. Steve's bed was
old, but solid and comfortable, and in an unguarded moment after the first
official night in Steve's house, Danny might have admitted that it had been the
best sleep he'd had since moving to Hawaii.
Steve's
smug grin didn't fade for the rest of the day.
In turn,
Danny discovered that Steve couldn't cook to save his life. Well, actually, the
Navy had probably taught him how to eat wild boar raw and how to make freshly
slain grizzly bears edible, but normal, everyday cooking? Even spaghetti meant
stretching Steve's skills almost past endurance.
“I can't
believe how much of a loser you are in the kitchen,” Danny told him. “If it's
not something you can slap on the barbeque, you'll order takeout. It's nice. Makes
you seem almost human.”
“Why do you
think I asked you to move in?” Just returned from his customary morning swim,
Steve was wearing nothing but his trunks, an unused towel slung over one
shoulder. That was another thing about living with Steve; his reluctance to
wear clothes around the house should have come with an advance warning, even
more so when coupled with his unwillingness to actually dry himself off after a
shower or a swim. Steve wandered around the house wet and wearing just enough
to keep Danny wondering, and it was a very delicate kind of torture.
Not that
Danny would ever tell him, of course. He wasn't crazy.
He wasn't
crazy, but he also wasn't blind, so he'd noticed an issue of Playgirl mixed in
with the stack of magazines they'd carried out of Steve's old room. Maybe it
had belonged to Mary. Or maybe it hadn't. It was another thought Danny probably
wouldn't be brave enough to voice out loud.
“What's
this?” Steve interrupted Danny's musings. Danny inspected the state of their
scrambled eggs before he turned to find Steve bent over the table, studying
Grace's most recent artwork.
“Just a
little something I made for you,” Danny said sweetly.
“Oh,
really?” Eyes bright, Steve looked up from the drawing. “I'm flattered, Danno.
Really, you shouldn't have.” His body was long and lean, arms braced on the
tabletop, and Danny's mouth watered. He wanted to lick ocean salt from Steve's
shoulder, wanted to drape himself over Steve's back and push Steve's legs apart
until their bodies were flush together. At this point, he wasn't sure Steve
would object.
Still, he
would be risking the best thing that had happened to him since moving to
Hawaii.
Danny went
back to stirring the eggs with more dedication than the simple task required so
that he wouldn't have to maintain eye contact, wouldn't give himself away, and,
just, was Steve flirting with him? Was Danny misreading the situation? He'd
never been very good at flirting while Steve clearly was; Danny had observed
his technique a number of times and it all seemed to come easily to Steve,
effortlessly. Then again, Steve's looks meant he never actually had to work for it.
“So, where
are we going to put the picture?” Steve asked, once again interrupting the
silent ramblings of Danny's mind.
“You want
to put it up? Really?” Danny turned around. “I mean, you don't mind? It's
not-Parents tend to appreciate their kids' creations a lot more than other
people, I know that.”
“Hey, Grace
drew our beach. And me surfing with her, while you're getting a sunburn on the
terrace.” Steve's tone was genuinely pleased. He straightened, holding up the
drawing. “You don't think I'm gonna let you hide it away somewhere, do you?
It's clearly for both of us, and I object to being robbed of what's mine.”
“I think
it's mostly another attempt to woo me into those surfing lessons,” Danny said
helplessly.
Steve
beamed. “She's a smart kid.”
“You sound
like a proud dad.” Danny took the eggs off the stove and set them down on the
table before daring to glance at Steve once more. “Also, if you smirk like
that, it makes you look like a chipmunk. It's not a particularly attractive
look, just in case you were wondering.”
“You love
it,” Steve told him.
Problem
was, Danny did. After all, how could he resist when Steve took great care in
pinning Grace's picture to the fridge and then examined it from several angles
to make sure that it wasn't hanging crooked? There was no way in hell Danny
could watch that and ignore just how much in love he was.
-
V.
New Jersey
was grayer than Danny remembered.
After only
two days, he started missing the clear blue of a sky that arched over the ocean
instead of being caged in by towering houses. The numerous neon signs
attempting to draw customers in were the main sources of color, and the few trees
that hadn't fallen prey to the road net's tentacles were usually encased by
concrete. People dressed in black and gray and white.
“You hate
it here,” Jason told him on the morning of the third day, while they waited for
breakfast in a cafe they'd frequented since high school. It was rare that Jason
became truly serious, but his voice had now taken on a quality Danny hadn't
heard often. The last time was when Jason had driven him to the airport and
helped him drag three suitcases to the baggage drop-off.
“I don't hate it here,” Danny began carefully. “I just-”
“Miss
home,” Jason completed his sentence. “Or,” he leaned both elbows on the table,
smiling slightly, “maybe there's a person you're missing. That Commander of
yours, for instance.”
“Maybe,”
Danny admitted.
Later, back
at his hotel, he switched his freshly recharged phone on to find that he'd
received four short messages; one from
Grace and three from Steve. He hoped there wasn't an emergency even while he
wondered whether that would give him a reason to fly back early.
He opened
Grace's message first, read 'London has lots of people, and I think I like
baseball better than soccer. Love you, Danno!' The spotless spelling
suggested Grace had dictated rather than actually typed it, and it was a sign
of how far Danny had come that he wasn't bothered by the thought of Rachel
writing Love you on Grace's behalf. It was a sign of how far they'd both
come that Rachel had written it.
The three
messages from Steve had arrived within one hour. 'Bought any new ties?' the
first one asked, continued in the second message with 'If you get new ties,
I want a new gun, but don't let airport security confiscate it.' The third
said, 'Chin and Kono are fighting, I don't know what it's about. Ben Bass,
maybe. Sometimes, those two make me wonder.'
'Are you
drunk?' Danny
asked.
'No, but
we're out of milk,' came the almost immediate response.
'You
know how to buy groceries, don't you?'
'It's no
fun alone.' Another
message from Steve arrived only seconds later. 'When's your flight home,
anyway?'
'It's
only been three days.'
'Accurate.
So when's your flight home?'
Danny read
the entire thread of messages four times before he finally had a reply. 'First
flight tomorrow.'
He jumped
when his phone vibrated in his hand. 'I'll meet you at the airport.'
Stepping
outside to inhale cold air mixed with exhaust fumes, Danny slouched down to
rest his forehead against the railing. It was difficult to type in this
position. 'You relize im stupidly in love wit you, right'
He hit
delete instead of adding the question mark.
-
VI.
Steve must
have abused his badge so he wouldn't have to wait in the arrival hall like
everyone else; he was standing at the baggage belt, shifting his weight from
one foot to the other, gaze flicking back and forth between screens and
arriving passengers. For a long, still moment, Danny simply looked while his
pulse stuttered in his ears.
Fuck, he'd
missed it. Missed the heat and brightness of Hawaiian days, missed the ocean
and Steve's house and Steve and Steve's tough exterior and big, generous heart.
Yeah, Danny was fucked.
When Steve
finally spotted him, the barely restrained impatience in his stance melted
away. He moved forward, pushing through current of people wanting to claim
their bags, and Danny met him halfway.
“Hi,” Steve
said. His hands were shoved awkwardly into his pockets and his smile was
nervous. The sickly light from overhead paled his skin.
Danny
kissed him.
The angle
was bad because Danny had to rise up on his tiptoes and pull Steve's head down,
lips skidding over Steve's cheek before finding his mouth. Steve didn't resist,
but he also didn't react, remained frozen until Danny was getting ready to
retreat and apologize, to blame fatigue for a momentary loss of judgment in the
hopes that Steve wouldn't see right through him. He turned his head, exhaled
against Steve's jaw and started, “I'm-”
“Really
slow on the uptake,” Steve cut him off, and then Steve's fingers were digging
into his waist and Steve's mouth was back on his, and maybe Danny didn't need
to apologize, after all. He parted his legs when Steve slid a thigh in between,
tried his best to twist closer when Steve lifted his shirt to slide a warm hand
underneath.
“You could
have said something,” Danny managed eventually. His face was burning, heart
beating high in his throat.
“Sorry.”
Steve's grin split his face in two. “Guess I was too busy sneaking past all
those defense posts of yours without triggering any alarms.”
“Are you
comparing me to a minefield?” Danny drew in a slow, measured breath and noticed
that most of the other passengers had already left.
“You're
disaster waiting to happen.” Steve sounded deeply fond.
“Good thing
you were built for disaster, then,” Danny muttered, but with his cheeks too hot
and his hands wrapped around Steve's biceps, it lacked in heat. He glanced over
just long enough to spot his suitcase, all alone as it rode circles on the
baggage belt. “Let's go home before we get fined for public indecency.”
Steve's
grin brightened, if possible. “Worth it.”
“I'm not
convinced the Governor will agree. Also,” Danny forced himself to step back,
even though his hands were reluctant to part with Steve's skin. “There's a bed
at home.”
“Good
point,” Steve said. “Very good point.” Two long strides, then he grabbed
Danny's suitcase and gave him a narrow-eyed look. “What, are you waiting for an
engraved invitation?”
“You,”
Danny fell into step, “are incredibly bad at waiting. I'm afraid I'll have to
teach you.” A pause while he focused on getting his pulse under control. “Maybe
if we start in the bedroom, you'll eventually wait for backup at a crime scene.
Pavlov is said to work miracles.”
“Maybe,”
Steve agreed cheerfully. He nodded at the officers who'd probably let him in
earlier, and they nodded back with rather limited enthusiasm. It made Danny
suppress a laugh, and there had been a time when he'd be embarrassed rather
than amused in this kind of situation, but it seemed that Steve's crazy was
contagious.
“It's good
to be home,” Danny told no one in particular. He turned his face into the sun
and pretended it was an accident when his fingers tangled with Steve's.
=== overtheendthatsitreally ===
ETA: A kind-of-sequel by
mandalaya can be found
here, hee. Car schmoop!