~Level C: Cause your damage deposit does NOT cover that
So anyway I mentioned this before, what with its protagonist that looked like Harry Mason, and while I was watching the thing I was cracking up and thinking MAN I HAVE TO SHARE THIS WITH PEOPLE
So here we are. I went and took a bunch of screenshots so you can giggle at this doofy thing too.
Level C is some painfully 80s-era yaoi anime that hits every cliche you can think of, hard. It's basic plotline is like I outlined before...some guy pays for rent WITH SEX. I downloaded it originally because that just sounded hilarious to me, and it didn't disappoint. The whole thing is just...unintentionally silly. DO YOU WANT TO SEE HOW SILLY? I BET YOU DO.
There are a few not safe for work shots in here. I tried not to take sex scene shots unless they were amusing or I just wanted to point something out, but about 70% of this is sex, SO IT WAS KIND OF HARD. I'm sure you'll survive because while it is more graphic than most in a way, it's still not THAT graphic, I think. After all, the penises are all invisible! No I'm not lying about that.
OH BOY THE SHOW'S STARTING YAY YAY YAY
Blah blah photoshoot. The first thing I like to do with stuff like this is play spot the uke. How do you play, you ask? Simple. Look for the character
-with the biggest eyes
-that's smaller than everyone else
-is generally girly looking
-has a higher voice than everyone else
Of course, some ukes don't have all these traits, but you'd be surprised how easily you can identify them in general. The big eye rule almost never fails. SO LET'S SEE, WHERE COULD OUR UKE BE?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
I had to pause this the first time I watched it because I was laughing so hard at this guy's face. I did not expect something this extreme.
However, this guy has a really deep voice! That's disconcerting for an uke. HMM. MAYBE HE'S NOT WHO WE'RE LOOKING FOR.
DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER
jesus christ i can't look at this guy without cracking up. JUST SLAP SOME BOOBS ON HIM AND HE'S A GIRL. LOOK AT THOSE EYES. AHAHAHAHAHA.
Anyway if you're wondering what's actually going on, these two are related, Uke is a model or something. End. He has a name but Uke is good enough for me. IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.
I'm not entirely sure why it's called this. The title changed colors for a bit.
Odd name for a cafe.
A lady and a guy discuss things. Lady says she wants guy to love her. The guy responds that he did love her...
Love her BODY OH BURN. HMM, WHO COULD THE SEME BE. He still reminds me of Harry Mason so I'm calling him Harry from now on.
Anyway, lady is less than pleased that Harry just told her he just loved her for her smokin bod.
Harry: THIS JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE! D:
That might not happen if you had something called "tact", Harry.
So anyway, Harry wanders around, moping about how he got kicked out of his chick's apartment and where is he going to live now, omg. In the process, he sees uke walking home.
HMM, WHERE COULD THIS BE GOING
RAPE
Harry, sudden romantic. Generally from what I've noticed, you basically got two kinds of yaoi/shounen-ai things. You got seme who just rapes the uke and leaves him all broken and crying and blah blah sextoy, and you have the incredibly lovey dovey couples that have to say I love you every few seconds and sex is a spiritual moment. As stupid as the latter can be, I prefer that kind of thing because rape D:
BAD TOUCH, BAD TOUCH!
Uke responds with I HAVE A PERFECTLY RESPECTABLE JOB THANK YOU
Harry: you live alone you say :3
Why would you tell some stranger this? Some hilariously 80s synth music kicks in at this point.
Oh yeah, the one two punch.
Lay on the charm.
So the two get to talking. That's his real name, but I CALL HIM HARRY.
Uke McGirlyface.
Well at least he's legal.
That's exactly the expression for that kind of thing. Anyway Harry explains why he got no house lol.
The Uke calls him on it!
Harry admits he's not that upset and just liked banging her. Uke is like omg that's terrible and Harry starts rambling disjointedly. You know what I mean, when someone is trying to convey a complicated concept in anime, but they do it in this weird, convoluted way that doesn't really make sense. The basic jist is that Harry's happy being loved or not being loved, whatever, love is nice. Let's do it.
And Harry makes the offer to sex the uke for rent! Uke is amazingly receptive to having his face fondled by a guy he met ten minutes ago who's offering him sex for services. OH WELL.
So they go to the apartment and Harry's all "wow this is nice how much" and the uke explains that his brother pays for it.
JEEZ HARRY YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE DON'T GET GREEDY
That's not the kind of thing you say about your brother, normally. D:
Hey wait earlier on he said he wasn't a student. Well whatever. Uke explains that he lives alone cause his brother's real busy and people come and go a lot to his house. I believe this is because he's doing lots of coke and voting for Ronald Reagan.
Oo...kaaay.
You could not get more uke if you tried.
sex sex sex. sex?
In a typical random mood swing for him, Uke suddenly is like GRR I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS MEEH.
Honestly, I like it when the seme is a big harmless goofball rather than a huge raping machine, which is probably why I like Harryseme here. If the uke maybe LOOKED MASCULINE IN ANY WAY OR FORM I would maybe like him but he's just so frigging girly looking. I can't get over it. I like Harryseme though. :B
So if you don't wanna talk about dead parents HEY WHY DON'T WE HAVE SEX
That was quick.
LOOK AT HARRY'S HIPS. OH MY GOD.
This comes up in yaoi/shounen-ai more than you'd think. Basically Uke is like I DON'T WANNA CAUSE YOU'RE A GUY
"But you're close enough!"
And he further went to clarify that he basically likes anyone who sleeps with him, but I didn't cap that. BASICALLY, HARRY'S A WHORE.
There's a tendency in this for the uke to go NO STOP and then Harry ignores him and the uke is like wheee. Hahahaha
OKAY OKAY so they smooch and the uke is like MAN HARRY IS A GOOD KISSER and then he ABRUPTLY, VIOLENTLY THROWS HIS HEAD BACK OUT OF NOWHERE. I burst out laughing the first time I saw this, it just happens so fast and for like no reason. It's hilarious.
you're weirding me out uke can we just do it already
And right up the shirt, fwoosh.
GOD LOOK AT HOW BIG HARRY IS COMPARED TO HIM. :O
so hey are these levis, they feel like levis
Uke: DON'T TOUCH MY PANTS
And then Harry says this, which may possibly be the least reassuring thing to say ever after you push someone off yourself.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU GOT THE IDEA THAT I WASN'T, BABYKINS
You know, this line would be no less unbelievable if Harry Mason was saying it.
"Do you want me to rape you? Because I can, if you want. I mean, just throwing that out there."
Uke responds with "WELL WHY DON'T YOU" which is an odd thing to say, if you ask me.
Also woah, what's with the eye there Harry
"And you probably wouldn't enjoy being raped, what with it being rape and all."
LOOK AT HIS LEGS AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD
So they go at it for a bit and uke is like I DUNNO I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
And Harry is like NO really I swear you will like the gay when you try it
And uke is like BUT WHAT DO I DO
And Harry is like Just hang on and say my name, that'll do it.
uke: okay
Harry: awesome :D
Whoop, we got a sudden cut to the outside, the porn scene is going to start soon.
OH, I'VE GOT THE VAPORS, MERCY ME. SOMEONE GET THE SMELLING SALTS.
Harry: KEEP GOING, IS THAT WHAT YOU SAID?
NO, ANYTHING BUT THAT!
KIND OF EXPLICIT SHOT but I thought this was interesting. Most yaoi things hide the action in some way. You usually just get shots of them moving, expressions, that kind of thing, but you don't get any wangs actually flopping around, which is probably a good thing because they're terribly silly looking in actuality.
BUT here we have an invisible wang! Just like in doujinshi, actually. Hahahahahaha. Don't mind me, I just find it amusing.
LOOK AT HARRY'S FACE OH MY GOD AHAHAHAHAHAHA
WELL EXCUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS, I DIDN'T KNOW BLOWING YOU WOULD OFFEND YOUR DELICATE SENSIBILITIES
wtf when did he start crying
Overreacting? Perhaps just a tad. What do YOU think, audience?
Harry: Here, let me smother you with my massive chest and arms.
Uke has this tendency to completely flip out, then burst into tears and apologize. HE WILL DO THIS A LOT.
"Not everyone swallows you know."
KEN DOLL
So blah blah sex blah blah. Harry true to form does not take his clothes off for the sex, because semes don't do that kind of thing. He does rim him though, that's a bit unusual.
So uke is all like WOW THIS FEELS GREAT when suddenly he realizes HEY WAIT I'M HAVING SEX WITH A GUY
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Uke flips out and starts crying and screaming no and such. Harry is like :O but handles it like anyone interrupted halfway through sex would.
"I'LL JUST...TAKE A SHOWER, OR SOMETHING."
I told you, this happens constantly.
did my massive peen scare you, it is very impressive i must say
Harry's taking this pretty well, all things considered.
JESUS HARRY DO YOU PLAY FOOTBALL OR SOMETHING YOUR SHOULDERS ARE MASSIVE
Harry: bye
The Uke didn't account for this, so flips out again. THINK FAST, UKE!
I don't know why but this makes me crack up.
harry's all like "don't cry uke" which he will say a lot, because the uke cries at the drop of a hat.
Eeeew would not kiss a crying person, that would be gross.
In the meantime there's this pointless and unimportant flashback about Harry's past, where he had a twin sister who now runs their family corporation or something and he got slapped by his mom or something, and really it's not important.
Little did Harry know is that all he really needed was a good sweater.
That is a huge bed.
Blah blah fluffy banter ensues. Harry says he's gonna get his stuff so he can move in, blah blah.
It's hard to capture this here, but Harry kind of rubbed foreheads and this little heart floated up. It just came out of nowhere. Heh.
UKE IS ON TO YOU
So uke goes to work as a model where he apparently wears some kind of hideous shirt and no pants. Alright, sure.
THANK YOU, RANDOM BYSTANDERS.
In the meantime, Harry has been housewifing back at the apartment, cleaning and cooking dinner and such.
HI HONEY HOW WAS WORK
Even taking that step into account that is a HUGE height difference.
So they eat dinner and Uke is like WOW THIS IS AWESOME WAIT WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?
And Harry is like WELL I HAVEN'T PAID THE RENT YET, WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE
And then the porn music kicks back in.
WATCH ME WATCH IT'LL BE AWESOME OH MAN ARE YOU WATCHING ARE YOU WATCHING OW MY ANKLE
You'd think he'd realize at this point that Harry doesn't listen.
UKE ORGASM SPARKLES HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Who sleeps like that, and does anyone else think there's something really weird about this pose in general?
So uke's all sleeping and won't wake up. WHAT'S A SEME TO DO.
Finger up the butt, that'll do the trick!
Harry: lol
Look at how frigging girly that uke is. Darn it, one of the challenges I've had while trying to find some decent yaoi/shounen-ai is finding one where both partners LOOK LIKE GUYS. IT TURNS OUT TO BE...NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE.
So ukebro calls and tells uke that there's some important client that wants to meet him or something.
Harry comes by and randomly does uke's tie. I have to admit I thought that was cute. I'm weak.
So anyway, uke and ukebro go to the company, blah blah, go up and meet the president, who is this lady!
HMM, WHO COULD SHE BE.
Anyway, she wants to talk to uke alone, so ukebro leaves. Once he's gone, she starts asking uke all these weird invasive questions like SO YOUR ROOMMATE COOKS GOOD MISO EH AND HE'S A GOOD KISSER ISN'T HE HMM I KNOW WHO HE IS
And Uke is like OMG YOU'RE AN EXGIRLFRIEND I AM SO JEALOUS AND UPSET OMG
In a rather amusing moment, during the uke's reverie she comes up and is like Hey you're crying and uke is like NO I AM NOT
but he is.
HARRY EXPLODES ONTO THE SCENE!
Uke asks where Harry came from, to which he points solemnly at...
TRAPDOOR! I laughed way too hard at this, I have to admit. It's just...where was that trapdoor, why didn't anyone know about it, was it always there? TRAPDOOR.
Anyway, Harry yells at his twin sister for scaring the uke, and yeah it's his twin sister, who else could it be? Uke is relieved to find out that Harry is not a philanderer, except he already knows that he is and you know what, it's best not to think too hard about this.
So they go home.
Uke: Blah blah your sister's nice she's just like you
Harry: Well she made you cry I am not happy about that
Uke: We should all go out to dinner sometime
Harry: no because she made you cry
Uke: that's cool cause she said she was just testing to see if i really loved you she really cares about you
Harry: whatever i love you more i am still angry grr
Uke: you say that to all the girls
Harry: oh really
and then the porn music kicks in again.
EEEEW SPIT STRANDS EEEEW
What kind of weird thing to say is that
So anyway Harry's all lickin Uke's chest and such and then SUDDENLY
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD WHAT
I forgot to mention that throughout this whole thing, Harry does these attempts at dirtytalk that are incredibly hilarious, but this is the jewel of the whole thing, I think.
How could Harry be doing this with his hand, what kind of weird position is he in?
Hey, Harry has his clothes off now! Things must be getting serious.
Wow, this is a first. Premature ejaculation. :O
Harry: dum de dum
Man Uke is a machine.
FINGER THING HAHAHAHA IT NEVER FAILS, THEY ALWAYS DO THAT
THEIR BED JUST KEEPS ON GROWING, LOOK AT THAT MONSTER
One of the more amusing things is that they're about to do it, and Harry is like I'LL TRY NOT TO HURT YOU and they're doing it, and then Harry's like OKAY I SAID I WOULD TRY BUT I CAN'T MAKE ANY PROMISES BECAUSE I CAN'T STOP MYSELF NOW and hahahahahahahaha
Uke abruptly blurted this out out of nowhere. OKAY, SURE, WHATEVER YOU SAY.
Yes, Harry was like Oh no you DON'T and GRABBED HIS WANG
But why? You may ask yourself, like that lady from the Deadly Bees.
I lost it at this point. I don't know why but just seeing this cliche in animated form just made me laugh so hard. It's all over the place in fics but it's just so hilarious to see it in original stuff. I DUNNO, I'M EASILY AMUSED.
Given the content of sperm, yeah that would kind of be accurate.
Also man check out the legs there, ouch.
Okay that's it, they've slipped off the bed and into an alternate bed dimension, constantly expanding.
And finally, they do it and mushy exchanges of affection are exchanged. HURRAY, THE RENT IS PAID.
So anyway, Harry goes to get a job and asks his sister to muscle him into some company or another. I'm not sure, it's not very clear. But anyway, she does it and asks if she can borrow uke, which Harry says no to. Well, duh.
Anyway, uke calls and says he has all these new clothes now, oh wow how pretty, and Harry asks if he has to go now that he paid the rent. Uke freaks out and shouts WHY WOULD YOU HAVE TO PAY THE RENT IN YOUR OWN HOUSE YOU MORON and Harry's like "I see. I wuv oo, uke"
OH DEAR, HARRY SAID IT OUT LOUD! HA HA HA! WHAT AN EMBARRASSING THING TO DO!
And that's where it ends, believe it or not.
Level C isn't sexy, and it's not even animated very well, but it's about 30 minutes and it's funny. And it's just stupid fun. It's not even remotely complicated, and the lines are just so ridiculous at times. You could do worse (cough FISH IN THE TRAP cough). Actually Level C was kind of refreshing in how straightforward it was. HERE IS OUR FLIMSY PRETENSE FOR SEX. HERE IS THE SEX. HERE IS ALMOST A CONFLICT THAT WE RESOLVED HANDILY. HERE'S SOME MORE SEX. and it's like you know what Level C, you do that. You live the dream.
If you actually want to download it, it's not that hard. Just sign up for an account here, then download it from this thread. I've mostly just been downloading random stuff and seeing if I'll get lucky and find something decent. I DID find that one song I liked doing that, so :D
Heh, just for the heck of it, here are my notes on what was happening I wrote down while I was taking the screenshots. I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT ENJOY IT since I was being pretty silly/lazy with it at the time.
brother: give lift?
uke: no
brother: ::stares thoughtfully as uke walks away, some totally pointless flashback, maybe they're not real brothers? who cares::
logo: ::changes colors for a few minutes::
lady: love me you whore
harry: lol no i only loved your sexy bod
harry: ::kicked out:: where can i stay now
uke: *_*
harry: hot
harry: lol kid
uke: i'm not in school okay i totally have a respectable job have some more info on me for some reason
harry: :O
*80s music*
harry: i got no house lol
uke: what
harry: i get kicked out a lot lol
uke: liar if you got kicked out by your girlfriend you'd look sad i am calling you out on that
harry: lol you got me, i just liked banging her
uke: that's terrible omg
harry: well i'm cool either way, love is neat i guess whatever, random disjointed thoughts typical in anime when trying to express a deep idea
harry: lemme stay with you i will totally bang your lights out
harry: wow this place is nice how much
uke: my bro pays for it
uke: blah blah we have different mothers, blah blah i live by myself because he's busy and lots of people go in and out of his house (his brother = having wild coke parties and voting for ronald reagan?)
harry: lonely? ;D
uke: nope i like people taking care of me *panning shot of his girlish figure*
uke: i go get snacks
harry: no, let's do it instead. *porn music kicks in*
uke: i don't wanna
harry: why not
uke: you're a guy
harry: call me kazuomi (that doesn't really solve the problem harry)
blah blah making out, you'll like the gay once you try it i promise
uke: wow he's a good kisser. *ABRUPTLY, VIOLENTLY THROWS HIS HEAD BACK, HILARIOUS*
harry: buh
harry: blah blah i'm gonna rock your world something hardcore, hilarious attempts at sexy talk
harry: hang on to me if you want, scratch me go ahead i don't care :3
harry: touching your pants lol
uke: HEY
harry: i'll rape you if you want
uke: well why don't you then
harry: well it'll be rape and you probably won't like it duh
uke: well okay then
harry: let's do it it'll be awesome
uke: i dunno how *_*
harry: just say me name and go along with it
uke: kazuharry
harry: awesome :D
harry: dum de dum
uke: omg stop blowing me it's gross
harry: nope
uke: hey stop it stop it stop it omg aaaa :O
harry: haha om nom nom
uke: eew eew eew omg gross
harry: well excuse me princess i didn't know blowing you would offend your delicate sensibilities
true to form, harry does not take his clothes off for the sex although wow he rims him, that's unusual
uke: wow this feels great
harry: dum de dum
uke: WAIT I'M HAVING SEX WITH A GUY NOOOOOOO
harry: what
uke: NOOOOOO
harry: look fine whatever where's the bathroom then
uke: I'M SORRY WEEP WEEP ABRUPT MOOD SWINGS
harry: did i scare you with my massive peen
uke: maybe yes
harry: sorry won't do it again well bye
uke: what
harry: i can't pay the rent so bye
uke: don't go omg weep
harry: man stop crying
uke: i'll cry if you leave
harry: look fine whatever i'll stay
uke: you're so kind *_* weep
harry: haha you're cute
blah blah harry's backstory blah blah totally uninteresting and unimportant blah blah twin sister is head of an organization or something, haven't seen each other since they were ten whatever got whupped by his mom blah blah
harry: think i love my uke
uke: *_*
fluff ensues
harry: i gotta get my salesperson stuff where you live uke
i gotta move my stuff in
uke: alright :D
harry: ::housewifes, cooks a huge dinner::
uke: wow :O why are you still here
harry: i haven't banged you yet i mean paid the rent
uke: oh yeah :O
harry: i'll totally pay you back eventually
uke: suddenly my appetite is gone
*porn music porn again*
harry: dum de dum
uke: this feels awesome *orgasms WITH SPARKLES!!!*
harry: HEY WAKE UP
uke: zzz
harry: i know how to wake someone up. FINGER IN THE BUTT.
uke: AAAAAAAAAAAAA
harry: hahahaha
brother: so hey some client wants to meet you chopchop
blah blah hey we're in some big company wow how amazing
brother: be professional you boywhore
uke: :< fine.
brother: client wanted to see you specially
lady: sup i'm the president or vice president whatever it's not important
lady: so hey buddy can you leave me and uke alone
bro: kay
uke: omg is she going to rape me i am totally freaked out
lady: so your roommates a good cook eh eh
uke: !
lady: i got a detective on you haha i know who you live with they make good miso soup and are a good kisser (eeew)
uke: !! so you know harry then
lady: as previously implied yes
uke: bye
lady: come back here
uke: no you're an exgirlfriend i am jealous and angry hissyfit
lady: you're crying
uke: NO I'M NOT WAA
harry: DOn'T CRY
uke: where did you come from
harry: *TRAPDOOR*
lady: :O
harry: how would you know i'm a good kisser
lady: you are aren't you
harry: BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW IS MY POINT
uke: ?
harry: she's my sister btw if you hadn't guessed
harry: blah blah sister blah blah
uke: you're totally alike
harry: >( whatever
uke: we should go out to dinner
harry: no cause she made you cry >(
uke: that's cool cause she said she was just testing to see if i really loved you she really cares about you
harry: whatever i love you more i am still angry grr
uke: you say that to all the girls
harry: oh really *sex*
uke: ow you bit me wtf
harry: :3 it looked yummy (wtf)
uke: OMG I DIDN'T MEAN TO SO FAST THIS IS YOUR FAULT
harry: well that's cool it just meant i did a good job right
there is a definite tendency of NO STOP DOING THAT OMG but then he does it anyway and the uke is like wheeeee
harry: alright in we go
uke: OMG
harry: i'll try not to hurt you but i can't make any promises
uke: :x
harry: why don't you be loud baby
uke: cause i'm a virgin
uke: comin again
harry: oh no you dont *grab*
uke: OW WTF
blah blah sex blah blah
Harry: i'm a part of your company now help me out sis
sis: fine here have a job whatever
harry: yay
sis: tell me you love me
harry: no i only love uke
sis: pff whatever alright let me borrow him then
harry: no
uke: wow you bought me so many pretty clothes *_*
harry: i'll cook dinner by the way i can still stay now that i've paid the rent right
uke: DUH OF COURSE YOU DON'T PAY RENT IN YOUR OWN HOUSE
harry: aww i love you uke
office: LOL HARRY'S GAY
harry: OH #$^# I SAID THAT OUTLOUD
THE END
There's this other series, what's it called, Haru wo Daiteita or something that I might do something like this for. It's not AS funny, but it does have some pretty hilariously dumb parts in it. WE'LL SEE.
So here we are. I went and took a bunch of screenshots so you can giggle at this doofy thing too.
Level C is some painfully 80s-era yaoi anime that hits every cliche you can think of, hard. It's basic plotline is like I outlined before...some guy pays for rent WITH SEX. I downloaded it originally because that just sounded hilarious to me, and it didn't disappoint. The whole thing is just...unintentionally silly. DO YOU WANT TO SEE HOW SILLY? I BET YOU DO.
There are a few not safe for work shots in here. I tried not to take sex scene shots unless they were amusing or I just wanted to point something out, but about 70% of this is sex, SO IT WAS KIND OF HARD. I'm sure you'll survive because while it is more graphic than most in a way, it's still not THAT graphic, I think. After all, the penises are all invisible! No I'm not lying about that.
OH BOY THE SHOW'S STARTING YAY YAY YAY
Blah blah photoshoot. The first thing I like to do with stuff like this is play spot the uke. How do you play, you ask? Simple. Look for the character
-with the biggest eyes
-that's smaller than everyone else
-is generally girly looking
-has a higher voice than everyone else
Of course, some ukes don't have all these traits, but you'd be surprised how easily you can identify them in general. The big eye rule almost never fails. SO LET'S SEE, WHERE COULD OUR UKE BE?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
I had to pause this the first time I watched it because I was laughing so hard at this guy's face. I did not expect something this extreme.
However, this guy has a really deep voice! That's disconcerting for an uke. HMM. MAYBE HE'S NOT WHO WE'RE LOOKING FOR.
DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER
jesus christ i can't look at this guy without cracking up. JUST SLAP SOME BOOBS ON HIM AND HE'S A GIRL. LOOK AT THOSE EYES. AHAHAHAHAHA.
Anyway if you're wondering what's actually going on, these two are related, Uke is a model or something. End. He has a name but Uke is good enough for me. IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.
I'm not entirely sure why it's called this. The title changed colors for a bit.
Odd name for a cafe.
A lady and a guy discuss things. Lady says she wants guy to love her. The guy responds that he did love her...
Love her BODY OH BURN. HMM, WHO COULD THE SEME BE. He still reminds me of Harry Mason so I'm calling him Harry from now on.
Anyway, lady is less than pleased that Harry just told her he just loved her for her smokin bod.
Harry: THIS JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE! D:
That might not happen if you had something called "tact", Harry.
So anyway, Harry wanders around, moping about how he got kicked out of his chick's apartment and where is he going to live now, omg. In the process, he sees uke walking home.
HMM, WHERE COULD THIS BE GOING
RAPE
Harry, sudden romantic. Generally from what I've noticed, you basically got two kinds of yaoi/shounen-ai things. You got seme who just rapes the uke and leaves him all broken and crying and blah blah sextoy, and you have the incredibly lovey dovey couples that have to say I love you every few seconds and sex is a spiritual moment. As stupid as the latter can be, I prefer that kind of thing because rape D:
BAD TOUCH, BAD TOUCH!
Uke responds with I HAVE A PERFECTLY RESPECTABLE JOB THANK YOU
Harry: you live alone you say :3
Why would you tell some stranger this? Some hilariously 80s synth music kicks in at this point.
Oh yeah, the one two punch.
Lay on the charm.
So the two get to talking. That's his real name, but I CALL HIM HARRY.
Uke McGirlyface.
Well at least he's legal.
That's exactly the expression for that kind of thing. Anyway Harry explains why he got no house lol.
The Uke calls him on it!
Harry admits he's not that upset and just liked banging her. Uke is like omg that's terrible and Harry starts rambling disjointedly. You know what I mean, when someone is trying to convey a complicated concept in anime, but they do it in this weird, convoluted way that doesn't really make sense. The basic jist is that Harry's happy being loved or not being loved, whatever, love is nice. Let's do it.
And Harry makes the offer to sex the uke for rent! Uke is amazingly receptive to having his face fondled by a guy he met ten minutes ago who's offering him sex for services. OH WELL.
So they go to the apartment and Harry's all "wow this is nice how much" and the uke explains that his brother pays for it.
JEEZ HARRY YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE DON'T GET GREEDY
That's not the kind of thing you say about your brother, normally. D:
Hey wait earlier on he said he wasn't a student. Well whatever. Uke explains that he lives alone cause his brother's real busy and people come and go a lot to his house. I believe this is because he's doing lots of coke and voting for Ronald Reagan.
Oo...kaaay.
You could not get more uke if you tried.
sex sex sex. sex?
In a typical random mood swing for him, Uke suddenly is like GRR I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS MEEH.
Honestly, I like it when the seme is a big harmless goofball rather than a huge raping machine, which is probably why I like Harryseme here. If the uke maybe LOOKED MASCULINE IN ANY WAY OR FORM I would maybe like him but he's just so frigging girly looking. I can't get over it. I like Harryseme though. :B
So if you don't wanna talk about dead parents HEY WHY DON'T WE HAVE SEX
That was quick.
LOOK AT HARRY'S HIPS. OH MY GOD.
This comes up in yaoi/shounen-ai more than you'd think. Basically Uke is like I DON'T WANNA CAUSE YOU'RE A GUY
"But you're close enough!"
And he further went to clarify that he basically likes anyone who sleeps with him, but I didn't cap that. BASICALLY, HARRY'S A WHORE.
There's a tendency in this for the uke to go NO STOP and then Harry ignores him and the uke is like wheee. Hahahaha
OKAY OKAY so they smooch and the uke is like MAN HARRY IS A GOOD KISSER and then he ABRUPTLY, VIOLENTLY THROWS HIS HEAD BACK OUT OF NOWHERE. I burst out laughing the first time I saw this, it just happens so fast and for like no reason. It's hilarious.
you're weirding me out uke can we just do it already
And right up the shirt, fwoosh.
GOD LOOK AT HOW BIG HARRY IS COMPARED TO HIM. :O
so hey are these levis, they feel like levis
Uke: DON'T TOUCH MY PANTS
And then Harry says this, which may possibly be the least reassuring thing to say ever after you push someone off yourself.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU GOT THE IDEA THAT I WASN'T, BABYKINS
You know, this line would be no less unbelievable if Harry Mason was saying it.
"Do you want me to rape you? Because I can, if you want. I mean, just throwing that out there."
Uke responds with "WELL WHY DON'T YOU" which is an odd thing to say, if you ask me.
Also woah, what's with the eye there Harry
"And you probably wouldn't enjoy being raped, what with it being rape and all."
LOOK AT HIS LEGS AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD
So they go at it for a bit and uke is like I DUNNO I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
And Harry is like NO really I swear you will like the gay when you try it
And uke is like BUT WHAT DO I DO
And Harry is like Just hang on and say my name, that'll do it.
uke: okay
Harry: awesome :D
Whoop, we got a sudden cut to the outside, the porn scene is going to start soon.
OH, I'VE GOT THE VAPORS, MERCY ME. SOMEONE GET THE SMELLING SALTS.
Harry: KEEP GOING, IS THAT WHAT YOU SAID?
NO, ANYTHING BUT THAT!
KIND OF EXPLICIT SHOT but I thought this was interesting. Most yaoi things hide the action in some way. You usually just get shots of them moving, expressions, that kind of thing, but you don't get any wangs actually flopping around, which is probably a good thing because they're terribly silly looking in actuality.
BUT here we have an invisible wang! Just like in doujinshi, actually. Hahahahahaha. Don't mind me, I just find it amusing.
LOOK AT HARRY'S FACE OH MY GOD AHAHAHAHAHAHA
WELL EXCUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS, I DIDN'T KNOW BLOWING YOU WOULD OFFEND YOUR DELICATE SENSIBILITIES
wtf when did he start crying
Overreacting? Perhaps just a tad. What do YOU think, audience?
Harry: Here, let me smother you with my massive chest and arms.
Uke has this tendency to completely flip out, then burst into tears and apologize. HE WILL DO THIS A LOT.
"Not everyone swallows you know."
KEN DOLL
So blah blah sex blah blah. Harry true to form does not take his clothes off for the sex, because semes don't do that kind of thing. He does rim him though, that's a bit unusual.
So uke is all like WOW THIS FEELS GREAT when suddenly he realizes HEY WAIT I'M HAVING SEX WITH A GUY
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Uke flips out and starts crying and screaming no and such. Harry is like :O but handles it like anyone interrupted halfway through sex would.
"I'LL JUST...TAKE A SHOWER, OR SOMETHING."
I told you, this happens constantly.
did my massive peen scare you, it is very impressive i must say
Harry's taking this pretty well, all things considered.
JESUS HARRY DO YOU PLAY FOOTBALL OR SOMETHING YOUR SHOULDERS ARE MASSIVE
Harry: bye
The Uke didn't account for this, so flips out again. THINK FAST, UKE!
I don't know why but this makes me crack up.
harry's all like "don't cry uke" which he will say a lot, because the uke cries at the drop of a hat.
Eeeew would not kiss a crying person, that would be gross.
In the meantime there's this pointless and unimportant flashback about Harry's past, where he had a twin sister who now runs their family corporation or something and he got slapped by his mom or something, and really it's not important.
Little did Harry know is that all he really needed was a good sweater.
That is a huge bed.
Blah blah fluffy banter ensues. Harry says he's gonna get his stuff so he can move in, blah blah.
It's hard to capture this here, but Harry kind of rubbed foreheads and this little heart floated up. It just came out of nowhere. Heh.
UKE IS ON TO YOU
So uke goes to work as a model where he apparently wears some kind of hideous shirt and no pants. Alright, sure.
THANK YOU, RANDOM BYSTANDERS.
In the meantime, Harry has been housewifing back at the apartment, cleaning and cooking dinner and such.
HI HONEY HOW WAS WORK
Even taking that step into account that is a HUGE height difference.
So they eat dinner and Uke is like WOW THIS IS AWESOME WAIT WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?
And Harry is like WELL I HAVEN'T PAID THE RENT YET, WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE
And then the porn music kicks back in.
WATCH ME WATCH IT'LL BE AWESOME OH MAN ARE YOU WATCHING ARE YOU WATCHING OW MY ANKLE
You'd think he'd realize at this point that Harry doesn't listen.
UKE ORGASM SPARKLES HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Who sleeps like that, and does anyone else think there's something really weird about this pose in general?
So uke's all sleeping and won't wake up. WHAT'S A SEME TO DO.
Finger up the butt, that'll do the trick!
Harry: lol
Look at how frigging girly that uke is. Darn it, one of the challenges I've had while trying to find some decent yaoi/shounen-ai is finding one where both partners LOOK LIKE GUYS. IT TURNS OUT TO BE...NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE.
So ukebro calls and tells uke that there's some important client that wants to meet him or something.
Harry comes by and randomly does uke's tie. I have to admit I thought that was cute. I'm weak.
So anyway, uke and ukebro go to the company, blah blah, go up and meet the president, who is this lady!
HMM, WHO COULD SHE BE.
Anyway, she wants to talk to uke alone, so ukebro leaves. Once he's gone, she starts asking uke all these weird invasive questions like SO YOUR ROOMMATE COOKS GOOD MISO EH AND HE'S A GOOD KISSER ISN'T HE HMM I KNOW WHO HE IS
And Uke is like OMG YOU'RE AN EXGIRLFRIEND I AM SO JEALOUS AND UPSET OMG
In a rather amusing moment, during the uke's reverie she comes up and is like Hey you're crying and uke is like NO I AM NOT
but he is.
HARRY EXPLODES ONTO THE SCENE!
Uke asks where Harry came from, to which he points solemnly at...
TRAPDOOR! I laughed way too hard at this, I have to admit. It's just...where was that trapdoor, why didn't anyone know about it, was it always there? TRAPDOOR.
Anyway, Harry yells at his twin sister for scaring the uke, and yeah it's his twin sister, who else could it be? Uke is relieved to find out that Harry is not a philanderer, except he already knows that he is and you know what, it's best not to think too hard about this.
So they go home.
Uke: Blah blah your sister's nice she's just like you
Harry: Well she made you cry I am not happy about that
Uke: We should all go out to dinner sometime
Harry: no because she made you cry
Uke: that's cool cause she said she was just testing to see if i really loved you she really cares about you
Harry: whatever i love you more i am still angry grr
Uke: you say that to all the girls
Harry: oh really
and then the porn music kicks in again.
EEEEW SPIT STRANDS EEEEW
What kind of weird thing to say is that
So anyway Harry's all lickin Uke's chest and such and then SUDDENLY
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD WHAT
I forgot to mention that throughout this whole thing, Harry does these attempts at dirtytalk that are incredibly hilarious, but this is the jewel of the whole thing, I think.
How could Harry be doing this with his hand, what kind of weird position is he in?
Hey, Harry has his clothes off now! Things must be getting serious.
Wow, this is a first. Premature ejaculation. :O
Harry: dum de dum
Man Uke is a machine.
FINGER THING HAHAHAHA IT NEVER FAILS, THEY ALWAYS DO THAT
THEIR BED JUST KEEPS ON GROWING, LOOK AT THAT MONSTER
One of the more amusing things is that they're about to do it, and Harry is like I'LL TRY NOT TO HURT YOU and they're doing it, and then Harry's like OKAY I SAID I WOULD TRY BUT I CAN'T MAKE ANY PROMISES BECAUSE I CAN'T STOP MYSELF NOW and hahahahahahahaha
Uke abruptly blurted this out out of nowhere. OKAY, SURE, WHATEVER YOU SAY.
Yes, Harry was like Oh no you DON'T and GRABBED HIS WANG
But why? You may ask yourself, like that lady from the Deadly Bees.
I lost it at this point. I don't know why but just seeing this cliche in animated form just made me laugh so hard. It's all over the place in fics but it's just so hilarious to see it in original stuff. I DUNNO, I'M EASILY AMUSED.
Given the content of sperm, yeah that would kind of be accurate.
Also man check out the legs there, ouch.
Okay that's it, they've slipped off the bed and into an alternate bed dimension, constantly expanding.
And finally, they do it and mushy exchanges of affection are exchanged. HURRAY, THE RENT IS PAID.
So anyway, Harry goes to get a job and asks his sister to muscle him into some company or another. I'm not sure, it's not very clear. But anyway, she does it and asks if she can borrow uke, which Harry says no to. Well, duh.
Anyway, uke calls and says he has all these new clothes now, oh wow how pretty, and Harry asks if he has to go now that he paid the rent. Uke freaks out and shouts WHY WOULD YOU HAVE TO PAY THE RENT IN YOUR OWN HOUSE YOU MORON and Harry's like "I see. I wuv oo, uke"
OH DEAR, HARRY SAID IT OUT LOUD! HA HA HA! WHAT AN EMBARRASSING THING TO DO!
And that's where it ends, believe it or not.
Level C isn't sexy, and it's not even animated very well, but it's about 30 minutes and it's funny. And it's just stupid fun. It's not even remotely complicated, and the lines are just so ridiculous at times. You could do worse (cough FISH IN THE TRAP cough). Actually Level C was kind of refreshing in how straightforward it was. HERE IS OUR FLIMSY PRETENSE FOR SEX. HERE IS THE SEX. HERE IS ALMOST A CONFLICT THAT WE RESOLVED HANDILY. HERE'S SOME MORE SEX. and it's like you know what Level C, you do that. You live the dream.
If you actually want to download it, it's not that hard. Just sign up for an account here, then download it from this thread. I've mostly just been downloading random stuff and seeing if I'll get lucky and find something decent. I DID find that one song I liked doing that, so :D
Heh, just for the heck of it, here are my notes on what was happening I wrote down while I was taking the screenshots. I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT ENJOY IT since I was being pretty silly/lazy with it at the time.
brother: give lift?
uke: no
brother: ::stares thoughtfully as uke walks away, some totally pointless flashback, maybe they're not real brothers? who cares::
logo: ::changes colors for a few minutes::
lady: love me you whore
harry: lol no i only loved your sexy bod
harry: ::kicked out:: where can i stay now
uke: *_*
harry: hot
harry: lol kid
uke: i'm not in school okay i totally have a respectable job have some more info on me for some reason
harry: :O
*80s music*
harry: i got no house lol
uke: what
harry: i get kicked out a lot lol
uke: liar if you got kicked out by your girlfriend you'd look sad i am calling you out on that
harry: lol you got me, i just liked banging her
uke: that's terrible omg
harry: well i'm cool either way, love is neat i guess whatever, random disjointed thoughts typical in anime when trying to express a deep idea
harry: lemme stay with you i will totally bang your lights out
harry: wow this place is nice how much
uke: my bro pays for it
uke: blah blah we have different mothers, blah blah i live by myself because he's busy and lots of people go in and out of his house (his brother = having wild coke parties and voting for ronald reagan?)
harry: lonely? ;D
uke: nope i like people taking care of me *panning shot of his girlish figure*
uke: i go get snacks
harry: no, let's do it instead. *porn music kicks in*
uke: i don't wanna
harry: why not
uke: you're a guy
harry: call me kazuomi (that doesn't really solve the problem harry)
blah blah making out, you'll like the gay once you try it i promise
uke: wow he's a good kisser. *ABRUPTLY, VIOLENTLY THROWS HIS HEAD BACK, HILARIOUS*
harry: buh
harry: blah blah i'm gonna rock your world something hardcore, hilarious attempts at sexy talk
harry: hang on to me if you want, scratch me go ahead i don't care :3
harry: touching your pants lol
uke: HEY
harry: i'll rape you if you want
uke: well why don't you then
harry: well it'll be rape and you probably won't like it duh
uke: well okay then
harry: let's do it it'll be awesome
uke: i dunno how *_*
harry: just say me name and go along with it
uke: kazuharry
harry: awesome :D
harry: dum de dum
uke: omg stop blowing me it's gross
harry: nope
uke: hey stop it stop it stop it omg aaaa :O
harry: haha om nom nom
uke: eew eew eew omg gross
harry: well excuse me princess i didn't know blowing you would offend your delicate sensibilities
true to form, harry does not take his clothes off for the sex although wow he rims him, that's unusual
uke: wow this feels great
harry: dum de dum
uke: WAIT I'M HAVING SEX WITH A GUY NOOOOOOO
harry: what
uke: NOOOOOO
harry: look fine whatever where's the bathroom then
uke: I'M SORRY WEEP WEEP ABRUPT MOOD SWINGS
harry: did i scare you with my massive peen
uke: maybe yes
harry: sorry won't do it again well bye
uke: what
harry: i can't pay the rent so bye
uke: don't go omg weep
harry: man stop crying
uke: i'll cry if you leave
harry: look fine whatever i'll stay
uke: you're so kind *_* weep
harry: haha you're cute
blah blah harry's backstory blah blah totally uninteresting and unimportant blah blah twin sister is head of an organization or something, haven't seen each other since they were ten whatever got whupped by his mom blah blah
harry: think i love my uke
uke: *_*
fluff ensues
harry: i gotta get my salesperson stuff where you live uke
i gotta move my stuff in
uke: alright :D
harry: ::housewifes, cooks a huge dinner::
uke: wow :O why are you still here
harry: i haven't banged you yet i mean paid the rent
uke: oh yeah :O
harry: i'll totally pay you back eventually
uke: suddenly my appetite is gone
*porn music porn again*
harry: dum de dum
uke: this feels awesome *orgasms WITH SPARKLES!!!*
harry: HEY WAKE UP
uke: zzz
harry: i know how to wake someone up. FINGER IN THE BUTT.
uke: AAAAAAAAAAAAA
harry: hahahaha
brother: so hey some client wants to meet you chopchop
blah blah hey we're in some big company wow how amazing
brother: be professional you boywhore
uke: :< fine.
brother: client wanted to see you specially
lady: sup i'm the president or vice president whatever it's not important
lady: so hey buddy can you leave me and uke alone
bro: kay
uke: omg is she going to rape me i am totally freaked out
lady: so your roommates a good cook eh eh
uke: !
lady: i got a detective on you haha i know who you live with they make good miso soup and are a good kisser (eeew)
uke: !! so you know harry then
lady: as previously implied yes
uke: bye
lady: come back here
uke: no you're an exgirlfriend i am jealous and angry hissyfit
lady: you're crying
uke: NO I'M NOT WAA
harry: DOn'T CRY
uke: where did you come from
harry: *TRAPDOOR*
lady: :O
harry: how would you know i'm a good kisser
lady: you are aren't you
harry: BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW IS MY POINT
uke: ?
harry: she's my sister btw if you hadn't guessed
harry: blah blah sister blah blah
uke: you're totally alike
harry: >( whatever
uke: we should go out to dinner
harry: no cause she made you cry >(
uke: that's cool cause she said she was just testing to see if i really loved you she really cares about you
harry: whatever i love you more i am still angry grr
uke: you say that to all the girls
harry: oh really *sex*
uke: ow you bit me wtf
harry: :3 it looked yummy (wtf)
uke: OMG I DIDN'T MEAN TO SO FAST THIS IS YOUR FAULT
harry: well that's cool it just meant i did a good job right
there is a definite tendency of NO STOP DOING THAT OMG but then he does it anyway and the uke is like wheeeee
harry: alright in we go
uke: OMG
harry: i'll try not to hurt you but i can't make any promises
uke: :x
harry: why don't you be loud baby
uke: cause i'm a virgin
uke: comin again
harry: oh no you dont *grab*
uke: OW WTF
blah blah sex blah blah
Harry: i'm a part of your company now help me out sis
sis: fine here have a job whatever
harry: yay
sis: tell me you love me
harry: no i only love uke
sis: pff whatever alright let me borrow him then
harry: no
uke: wow you bought me so many pretty clothes *_*
harry: i'll cook dinner by the way i can still stay now that i've paid the rent right
uke: DUH OF COURSE YOU DON'T PAY RENT IN YOUR OWN HOUSE
harry: aww i love you uke
office: LOL HARRY'S GAY
harry: OH #$^# I SAID THAT OUTLOUD
THE END
There's this other series, what's it called, Haru wo Daiteita or something that I might do something like this for. It's not AS funny, but it does have some pretty hilariously dumb parts in it. WE'LL SEE.