Crossing Borders (20/20)
One Year Later
Ben stood in the center of The Robert and Marlene Knope Memorial Park, the breeze mussing his hair no matter how many times he tried to smooth it back down. It was longer now than his usual short, military haircut. He pretended that it had nothing to do with the fact that Leslie loved tugging on it when it’s this length.
The weather had been unseasonably warm for early fall, but that didn’t stop the leaves from changing to their brilliant shades of red, orange, and brown. The beauty of what was around him wasn’t something he really cared about or even noticed before, but that was just one of the many things that changed about him since knowing Leslie.
He stared at the small monument commemorating Malcolm Jackson and the other brave men and women who gave their lives in the defense of the President and Pawnee. Some were friends and colleagues, others he never knew, but they all made the ultimate sacrifice and deserved to be honored.
He remembered standing in front of this memorial on the day of its dedication, which was also the day he and Andy received their Pawnee Medals of Honor. It was such a surreal moment. Almost every young soldier dreamed of receiving one in their career, but few ever did. After ICE Town, he thought he’d never be recognized for more than the occasional promotion, so to stand up in front of his entire nation as the woman he loved placed the medal around his neck was far better than anything he could have imagined.
He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel like Han Solo at the end of Star Wars.
The world continued to turn after the news of Yurgin’s sentence and subsequent collapse of the Eagleton extremist group. It took time, but people were beginning to feel safe again.
Leslie took back more and more of her responsibilities and was back to being the adorable workaholic that she was, while Ben dove headfirst into his new position. He was on a career fastrack now, or so they told him, and Leslie often teased that he’d be a four-star general leading her army in no time.
The road to recovery was a difficult, endless one filled with twists and turns and pitfalls. The nightmares got worse before they got better, and for a while, there were more nights spent clung together in desperation than passion. Sleep had become their enemy until exhaustion forced their eyes closed.
They still talked regularly with Dr. Nygard who seemed genuinely optimistic about their progress even when they weren’t too convinced of it themselves.
Sure, there were days when Leslie would call him in the middle of the day near panic because she needed to know where he was, moments when he saw something flash out of the corner of his eye and he was instantly transported to ICE Town or the compound, but unlike before, her arms were always there to bring him back to reality.
It wasn’t in them to quit, not after everything that happened, everything they had been through. And while there were times when all they wanted was to stay in bed and never face the world again, they persevered.
With a sigh, Ben stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out the small, wooden knight hidden inside. Thankfully, when Yurgin’s men stormed the grounds of the safe house, they left the cabin fairly untouched, and Andy found the trinket amongst Ben’s belongings.
He didn’t always carry it around with him, just on special occasions, times when he felt he needed to draw strength and confidence from it.
Days like today.
His ears perked up when he heard her light, familiar tread in the grass behind him. With a smile, he pocketed the chess piece and stuck his hand out, wiggling his fingers as an invitation.
She chuckled as she made her way next to him and grasped it.
“How do you always know when I’m coming? I was trying to surprise you.”
He tapped his temple and winked. “Highly trained, remember. I have supersonic hearing and have your footsteps memorized. Besides, you’re just not all that sneaky. I keep telling you that but you won’t believe me.”
“I’ll get you one day,” she said and squeezed his hand before looking at the basket at his feet. “So does that have anything to do with you telling me to block the next few hours off on my schedule and meet you here?”
“Yup. You know, we’ve been dating for a while now, and it’s hard to keep things fresh and interesting. I figured a nice, surprise picnic lunch in the park would be right up your alley. Lunch and authentic picnic basket courtesy of JJ.”
“My, my, my,” she said with a wide smile, “you’ve definitely outdone yourself today.”
“I do what I can to keep my lady happy. Come on.” He tugged on her arm and led them to a clear space beneath a nearby tree. He pulled a blanket out from the basket and spread it over the ground before sitting down and patting the space next to him. She looked at the spot next to him before a mischievous look flashed in her eyes and she plopped herself in his lap.
He pretended to look annoyed but couldn’t pull it off, instead wrapping an arm around her middle as he took out the various treats from the picnic basket.
“Okay, so we have waffles with
extra
whipped cream for you.” He handed her the container. “And a club sandwich with extra fries for me because even JJ knows that you’re going to steal some.”
The sentence wasn’t even finished before Leslie took one with a cackle.
It was a little awkward eating with Leslie on his lap, but the solid warmth of her more than made up for it. He found himself kissing and nuzzling her neck between bites of his food as the birds chirped in the background.
“This was the first meal we ever ate together,” she said after a moment. “You remember that? In my office on your first day in the Capitol Building?”
“Of course. How could I forget. I was so nervous and was trying my best to apologize after behaving like a complete ass.”
“You didn’t do that great of a job at first,” she smiled.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t have much practice at the time. I wasn’t used to being the one that wasn’t in charge. But I won you over eventually.”
She leaned over to steal another fry. “Yeah, you sure did.”
~~~~~
After the food had been eaten, their positions changed, Leslie now sitting down on the blanket as Ben laid with his head in her lap. His eyes drifted between open and closed as her fingers slowly massaged his scalp.
“This reminds me of a dream I had once. At least, I think it was a dream. It was...it was when I was unconscious in my cell. Right before you found me.”
He stopped when he heard Leslie’s breath hitch. She tightened her hold on his hair for a brief moment before going back to steady strokes.
“We were in a park. Not this one. Ramsett Park, I think. You said it was your favorite place. I thought we weren’t going to make it, so I guess this was my subconscious’ way of having my last moments with you. You were so beautiful I swore I was dead and you were an angel.”
She gave him a brief smile, but couldn’t make it stick.
“I asked you what we would do if it was all real. What the perfect day for us would be like. You said it’d start with me already living in the Capital because of a new job and we spent the night together.”
At this she did actually manage a genuine grin. “Dream me knows her stuff. Done and Done.”
“And I added a bit about amazing morning sex.”
“Also done,” she laughed and leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead.
“Twice.” He waggled his eyebrows. “But after that, you said that we’d stop by the kitchen and JJ prepared us a picnic lunch to take with us. We’d go to Ramsett Park and you’d show me all of the important spots you had as a kid. Then, we’d sit down and have our picnic and just talk about anything and everything. It’s not exactly the same, but I thought coming here would be more fitting. I don’t know, it kind of feels like your parents are here, too, in a way.”
“That does sound like the perfect day,” she sighed. “Your subconscious knows me very well. And I know we really can’t afford to take the time to spend a whole day like that, but this is a nice alternative.” She gave him a soft kiss. “Thank you.”
He sat up so that his head was only a few inches away from hers. “That wasn’t all. I said that if I had the chance, I’d tell you a few things. I’d like to do that now, if that’s okay.”
She ran a hand down the side of his face and nodded.
“It’s probably not anything you don’t already know, but I don’t say it nearly enough. I said I’d tell you how much you mean to me. That you gave my life meaning and taught me it was okay to love again. Not just another person, but myself, too. I didn’t know it was possible to love someone this much, and I never imagined having someone as wonderful as you love me back. I know you get upset when I say that I don’t deserve you, but I can’t help but believe it’s true. And I’m selfish because no matter how true I think it is, I can’t let you go. I never want to let you go.”
“You won’t ever have to.” Her eyes were soft and she leaned in to kiss him. “That was beautiful.”
He pulled away slowly and reached a hand into the basket. “There’s more, actually. The last thing I had said was that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, and one day I’d ask you.”
He swallowed hard and pulled out the box that Leslie had given him over a year ago to hold her father’s white knight chess piece. She gasped when he opened it and revealed a simple diamond solitaire.
“That day is today. I don’t think I have the right words to tell you how deeply and ridiculously in love with you I am. We’ve been through so much, more than anyone should ever have to, and I know there’s a lot more ahead of us, but we’ll continue to get through it together. I can’t imagine a day without you by my side or a night spent without you sleeping next to me. I want nothing more than to be with you forever, no matter what the future holds.”
Her eyes were glistening with tears, but for once they were the good kind. She looked so excited and happy and all he could do was laugh with joy while his heart pumped wildly.
“So, President Leslie Knope, will you marry me?”
The yes was barely out of her mouth before their lips crashed together. It was so different then the kiss they’d shared in his dream. That one was a way to make up for everything he’d believed they would miss. It felt like an end.
But this kiss--this kiss was just the beginning. It was the brand new start of the life they would vow to spend together. Where the dream kiss tasted of sadness, this one was joy; where it had been bitter with regret, this was sweet with love and contentment. There were no moments to make up for. From now on, they’ll have a lifetime of those moments together.
He finally pulled away just enough to slip the ring on her finger, and she laughed again through her tears as she stared down at it.
“It’s perfect,” she whispered before looking back up at him. “You’re perfect, this day is perfect. Everything’s perfect.”
All he could do was smile and kiss her again because there was nothing else he could say.
If anyone were to have told him two years ago that he’d end up here, he’d have thought they were crazier than he was. Even now, with Leslie in his arms and his ring on her finger, he was still tempted to pinch himself.
This
was his life now. He was Lieutenant Colonel Ben Wyatt of the Pawnee Army, no longer the social pariah throwing himself at his work to atone for his past. His days were spent at a job he enjoyed and his nights with the woman he loved. He had friends who cared about him and peers who respected him. And soon, he’d be Leslie Knope’s husband.
He was more than the anguish that sometimes took control of his mind, more than the raised, uneven skin that covered most of his body. Leslie had once said that each scar told a part of his story, and it was one he didn’t need to be ashamed of anymore.
He was done running. ICE Town would always be a part of him, no matter how hard he had tried to forget, but it made him who he was. Everything in his past brought him to this very moment in the present.
But Leslie? She was his future, and wherever she was would be be his home.
And despite all they overcame, all that was still ahead of them--the sleepless nights, the bouts of anxiety and panic attacks, the flashbacks-- she was still right.
Everything was perfect.