Title: Operation Get-Jim-Kirk-to-shut-the-fuck-up
Art by:
kilala10Fandom & Pairing: Star Trek Reboot, Kirk/Pike/McCoy
Rating: pg-13
Warnings/Enticements: none
Word Count: Around 420
Beta: unbetaed
Summary: Comment fic for
kilala10's beautiful artwork.
Operation Get-Jim-Kirk-to-shut-the-fuck-up
McCoy lent his head wearily against Pike's broad shoulder. "Dear god in the morning, Chris, you're his commanding officer. Can't you get him to just shut the fuck up!"
Pike looked down at the beautiful young man laying underneath him, who was currently rabbiting on about his success in the extraordinary encounter between the Enterprise and hitherto unknown First Federation, in the form of their flagship, the Fesarius.
Admiral Christopher Pike, in his new role as trouble-shooter extraordinaire, protecting the interests of Starfleet in a weakened and politically unstable Federation, had been sent out to complete the establishment of diplomatic contacts with the First Federation.
"You're the one who lives with him all the time," he muttered to McCoy over his shoulder. "Does he always witter on like this?"
McCoy gave that deep martyred sigh that he had had so much opportunity to practise in the presence of one James T. Kirk. "If he's done something he's proud of, then yes, pretty much. There's nothing he likes better than retelling the tales of his own awesome."
Kirk was now deep into the story of the bluff and counterbluff that he has played against the Fesarius' captain, Balok. And the trouble was that like all Kirk's stories, it was a very good one. The idea of fooling Balok with corbomite was inspired.
It was this lateral-thinking brilliance that Pike had always thought was Kirk's strongest talent. It was just that right now he didn't want to be hearing about it. He wanted to be stripping the uniforms off his two favourite officers and doing a very close-up and personal inspection of their health and well-being.
"We need a plan, Lieutenant-Commander McCoy," Pike instructed. "We need to shut him up and we need to distract him."
"Sir, yes sir!" McCoy replied over his shoulder with a smirk. "What are your orders?"
"Get these pants off me," Pike instructed. "Then I'm going to move myself up over his shoulders and plug that perpetual-motion mouth of his with my cock. And then you get his trousers off and commence with distraction. Use your initiative, soldier. Mouth, fingers, cock, whatever you feel the situation calls for."
Below then Kirk was now retelling the brilliance of the manoeuvres that has allowed the Enterprise to break free from Balok's pilot ship.
McCoy gave Pike a lazy salute with one hand while working on undoing his trousers with the other. "Tactically brilliant sir, that's why you're the Admiral."
"Very well, Leonard, get to it. Operation Get-Jim-Kirk-to-shut-the-fuck-up to commence immediately!"
- THE END -
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