I am feeling panicked.

Determinism.

Another kid died today, I almost didn't make it to work
and I got into a terrible fight with our fake christmas tree.

I just want to tuck my tail between my legs and give up sometimes.

Somebody,
just understand me.

We went through pictures, lots of pictures. They are still all over the living room. I apparently was always naked with my bajingle hanging out all when I was little. We also found pictures of Gato when we got him on my birthday in CT. He is so big now!


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I am so tired.
I have a metallic taste in my mouth.
My face itches.
The road froze tonight.
I miss my brother.
I miss my sister.
I don't know why I write in here anymore.
It's retarded.

Crunchy Granola.
Black trees.

I'm watching the Jonestown Massacre footage on CNN.
It's horrifying.

Blood work.

I am disappointed in myself. I must work harder.
I am going to make a list,
and do everything on it.

p.s. I have to stop myself from cutting my hair shorter,
long hair is ridiculous though and looks so stupid.

so my dog plays with the sexual predator down the street
john did my hair in grosse pointe and
elvis bought me the pixies on vinyl.
i'm full of love love loving
and that beck cd is really nice to listen to while driving.

i am 20 years old now.