Crack interpretation of a game
If you plan to play The Sims Medieval then this note contains spoilers you may not want to know before playing.
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This game is the combination of a simple version of The Sims 3 play mode and medieval quest stories. There are several types of character, but every new game starts with creating a monarch, solving some quests, which unlocks other character types and open more possible quests, etc.
So I got to the part where I had a king and a physician, and the quest was investigating about a rumored talking frog that could be human (of course, never heard of an elf princess turning into a frog before). The king got a joyful footwork deep into the forest to find the frog (no horse - apparently the only animals we have here are bear, frog, toad, leech, pigeon, whale, and about 4 kinds of fish; and no royal guard either). After having encountered a number of ‘genuine’ frog, dead or alive, the great hero finally find the frog royalty. She greeted him with happiness.
And showed him the skeleton collection of former frog-kissers (displayed in a lump fashion). Apparently her skin is poisonous.
(I don’t want to know which kingdom she came from and how she annoyed people enough to get turned into a frog, but she murdered my people! And she could have very well verbalize warnings before any of them made contact. Now if there was an option to kill…)
Anyway, heroes save people; my king had fun walking back to the town to meet the physician and got her to make an antidote.
Antidote in hand, the king then had to find someone to kiss the frog. Quest said to ask town folks. It’s the medieval age, everything looked dark, so of course I started picking out brightly colored walking figures on the screen for the king to run after - of course they turned out to be female characters, and none wanted to assist with their king’s heroic act. Good thing it wasn’t due to sexism or I would have felt mad.
After unsuccessfully approached 5 ladies, my king realized ‘Guess what, let’s just ask that physician to do the thing.’ (Brilliant, just brilliant)
King: Hey, you go do it.
Physician: Nah, you do it. (Meaning: “I’m only interested in living things. I don’t care if she gives instant kills.”)
King: Fine, I’m the better kisser anyway.
Me to the game: Nooo I created him to be gay, do you realize this is unfair to him, game?
King *on the way back to forest*: Hmn… I should pick some mint. A kiss is a kiss.
Me *rolled eyes*: Right, my fault for choosing your fatal flaw to be licentious.
Don’t know if the game developers could expect my former reaction, but it was a kiss on the cheek. So much for practicing kissing with your husband, king.
The quest ended the normal way: the frog turned to human, got checked-up by the physician for qualification, and was never mentioned in the game again, thankfully.
And there went half an hour of my life