Hush, Hush: Chapter 27
ZeldaQueen: Alrighty everyone, nearly to the end of this baby! Let's keep swimming!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 27
ZeldaQueen: Well, in the last chapter we got some info-dumping by way of Patch, laced with a generous helping of sexy times/ Do Not Want, which was broken up by the arrival of the plot in the form of Elliot taking Vee hostage in the high school. Fun times. Oy.
Nora is all scared and Patch promptly goes all business-like, asking who Nora just talked to. I think I got whiplash from how quickly he switched personalities there. Not that I'd mind if Patch were written as someone more thoughtful and the sort who actually gave a crap about others, but it just sort of hops into the story and back out. Also, much like with Twilight, Patch really only seems to care that Vee's in danger because Nora is upset. This is the guy who used to be an archangel and who the angels still want back as a guardian.
Anyway, Nora tells him that "Vee broke into the high school with Elliot and Jules. They want me to meet them. I think Elliot's going to hurt Vee if I don't go". Apparently Nora is continuing to operate under the mysterious belief that every single person in her high school knows who everyone else is. Even if that were the case (which we've had no indication that it is), I'd hardly think that Patch - the most anti-social bastard I've ever seen in a book - would know them.
Instead of asking "Who the fuck are Elliot and Jules?", Patch just repeats the name Elliot. That's right, he's just worrying about Elliot. Normally I'd laugh my ass off that Jules is such a nondescript character that not even taking a hostage gets him noticed, but...erm...plot set-up!
Nora continues to elaborate, telling Patch all about Elliot's murder investigation and how creepy he has seemed since then. Yes, we all remember how he was sacrificed on the alter of Convenient Characterization. Patch gives us a priceless response
"I've seen Elliot. He seems cocky and a little aggressive, but he doesn't strike me as a killer"
ZeldaQueen: ... Oh, really Patch? Unlike you, who are extremely cocky and overly aggressive? But you aren't the killing type, no no. You just loudly tell your girlfriend how you could kill her.
Go fuck yourself and then make judgements about psychopaths, you damned psychopath.
Anyway, Patch comes up with the brilliant plan of going over to check things out. Yes, he plans to essentially run into a hostage situation, blind and risking the life of Vee. Granted, I wouldn't be too chocked up at the death of Vee, but this is supposed to be Our Hero, who is So Clever.
Nora does not like this idea, and says that it's better if they call the police. Patch's response? He shakes his head and says "You'll send Vee to juvie for destruction of property and B and E".
OH, WELL EXCUSE HER FOR THINKING THAT IT'S BETTER TO GET THE AUTHORITIES INVOLVED, YOU DICKCHEESE!
I'm sorry but...Christ! That right there is pretty much the entire message of this book! Don't tell your teacher that the guy's harassing you, he'll just patronize and laugh at you. Don't tell the police that you're being stalked and threatened, they won't believe you. And now, don't call the police in, if you know your best friend is being held hostage by an insane guy who very likely killed before! It's much better to rush in without knowing what you're doing and putting your friend at great risk, rather than saving said friend's life and, le gasp, having them face the consequences of what they did to get in that situation to begin with! For heaven's sake, Vee agreed to break into the school! Why should Nora be in the wrong calling the police?
*sigh* Of course this occurs to neither of those idiots, and Nora just meekly backs down and goes along with Patch's brilliant idea. There's a brief moment where Patch asks about Jules, and Nora just tells him that Jules was with Elliot when they were all at the amusement park. Patch just pretty much says "Um...no he wasn't. I'd have remembered it", and that's the last Jules is mentioned. You'd think Nora would tell about the bit she knew, where Jules said something to Elliot about a test, or at least mention how odd it was that when Jules was at the amusement park, he hid in the bathroom for a half an hour or so.
Also, I love how Nora in no way insists that Jules was at the amusement park, or amend her statement at all to "He was there, but he left early". I guess Her Man has spoken, so there's no point in arguing, is there?
They head out of the bathroom, and Nora starts yapping that she must come along, or else Elliot might kill Vee if she doesn't show up. Even though she also thinks that Elliot will hurt Vee. And even though Patch can mind rape Elliot into thinking that Nora was coming in, even if she wasn't there. No, it's best of she shows up. Patch agrees, on the condition that Nora does exactly what he tells her to. *dryly* Of course. And Nora, being her dumbass self, agrees while telling us that she doesn't intend to do so. You know, I hate when these sorts of books have the guys expecting the girls to be meek and submissive and do whatever they say, but this is pretty much the only point in the book where it's justified. We're apparently to take it that Patch knows what he's doing and has some brilliant strategy in mind. In that sort of case, it's common sense to go with what the dude with the plan has in mind! Ignoring the plan, especially without giving any warning or discussion, is just begging for things to go wrong!
And...we then get an incredibly stupid and pointless swerve in the plot. I'll just tell you it and then pause to pick it apart.
Nora and Patch make it outside, and find that two of the tires on Patch's Jeep have been slashed with a screwdriver. Nora initially suspects that Patch is mindraping her so that he has an excuse to not rescue Vee (...) but no, apparently this is real. He believes that it was done by someone he beat at gambling who is pissed at him. Patch decides to fix the problem by sauntering over to a car a few spaces away, hotwiring it, and asking Nora to get in. She refuses to participate in the theft of a car (while noting that Patch's familiarity and comfort with this indicates that he's stolen cars before), and instead goes back into the theater and finds an employee sweeping the floor. Apparently he too goes to Nora's high school, and his name is Brandt. Yes, this is the first we've heard of him and no, he serves no purpose to the plot other than this one bit. Nora...calls in a favor I guess, as it seems she once helped him with a Shakespeare paper, and wants to know if he's willing to loan her his car. He says he won't, and then Patch comes him. "His approach wasn't all that different from a cloud eclipsing the sun, subtly darkening the landscape, hinting of a storm", and he promptly changes Brandt's mind by shelling out three hundred bucks. Brandt tosses over the keys and asks if they'll fill up the tank before returning it. Patch forks over another twenty in case he forgets that. He and Nora head off to get the car, while Patch explains to Nora that he normally doesn't have that much money on his person and contrived coincidences of contrived coincidences, he won it playing pool a few nights prior.
Right. Sooooo...what was the point of that? That served no purpose. The tire-slashing wasn't related to the plot. That Brandt dude is never mentioned again. What, did Fitzpatrick see that scene in Terminator 2, where John finds some car keys so the Terminator doesn't have to hotwire the car, and decided she wanted to write something similar in? Normally I'd think it was to show that Nora could handle some things on her own, using her connection to that kid to help them out, but it can't even be that because Patch still is the one who ultimately solves the issue! What, was that supposed to be funny? If so, that fails at humor and is horribly placed! Seriously, what is it with Suethors ruining dramatic moments with komedy?
Also, please note that Nora believes that (A) Patch is perfectly willing with letting Vee - her best friend - die, just because he doesn't like her (and yes, I know I said that I wouldn't mourn her, but he's supposed to be signing on for guardian angelship and in any case, there's a difference between hating a character and letting your girlfriend's best friend die) and (B) Patch is perfectly at ease with hot-wiring and stealing cars, because it's old hat to him. And she never gives pause to think of the implications to any of these things. Nope. Our Heroine, ladies and gentlemen.
So they arrive at the high school, which we're told "The original part of the building had been constructed in the late nineteenth century, and after sunset it looked very much like a cathedral. Gray and foreboding. Very dark. Very abandoned". By this point, I'm surprised Fitzpatrick isn't going the whole hog and throwing in a thunder storm. I'm not certain how many nineteenth century catheral-buildings are in Maine, but by this point, I'm just waiting for the story to be over.
Patch pulls up alongside of the school and gets out. Fitzpatrick channels Gethesemane as we get it hammered home how Patch is wearing black and has dark hair and dusky skin and thus is hardcore and blends into the night. Whatever. He tells Nora to wait in the car like a good little girl, and to stay out of sight and drive away if someone comes out of the building for her. I guess the implicated exception to that is Patch himself or Vee, although I'd think Nora ought to drive away from them as well. And of course, given how Nora has been so great at thinking things through and following orders thus far, I'm sure she'll do as she's told.
Idiots, the lot of them. I'm so glad we're nearly done!
Onward to: Chapter 28
Back to: Chapter 26 (Part 2)
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 27
ZeldaQueen: Well, in the last chapter we got some info-dumping by way of Patch, laced with a generous helping of sexy times/ Do Not Want, which was broken up by the arrival of the plot in the form of Elliot taking Vee hostage in the high school. Fun times. Oy.
Nora is all scared and Patch promptly goes all business-like, asking who Nora just talked to. I think I got whiplash from how quickly he switched personalities there. Not that I'd mind if Patch were written as someone more thoughtful and the sort who actually gave a crap about others, but it just sort of hops into the story and back out. Also, much like with Twilight, Patch really only seems to care that Vee's in danger because Nora is upset. This is the guy who used to be an archangel and who the angels still want back as a guardian.
Anyway, Nora tells him that "Vee broke into the high school with Elliot and Jules. They want me to meet them. I think Elliot's going to hurt Vee if I don't go". Apparently Nora is continuing to operate under the mysterious belief that every single person in her high school knows who everyone else is. Even if that were the case (which we've had no indication that it is), I'd hardly think that Patch - the most anti-social bastard I've ever seen in a book - would know them.
Instead of asking "Who the fuck are Elliot and Jules?", Patch just repeats the name Elliot. That's right, he's just worrying about Elliot. Normally I'd laugh my ass off that Jules is such a nondescript character that not even taking a hostage gets him noticed, but...erm...plot set-up!
Nora continues to elaborate, telling Patch all about Elliot's murder investigation and how creepy he has seemed since then. Yes, we all remember how he was sacrificed on the alter of Convenient Characterization. Patch gives us a priceless response
"I've seen Elliot. He seems cocky and a little aggressive, but he doesn't strike me as a killer"
ZeldaQueen: ... Oh, really Patch? Unlike you, who are extremely cocky and overly aggressive? But you aren't the killing type, no no. You just loudly tell your girlfriend how you could kill her.
Go fuck yourself and then make judgements about psychopaths, you damned psychopath.
Anyway, Patch comes up with the brilliant plan of going over to check things out. Yes, he plans to essentially run into a hostage situation, blind and risking the life of Vee. Granted, I wouldn't be too chocked up at the death of Vee, but this is supposed to be Our Hero, who is So Clever.
Nora does not like this idea, and says that it's better if they call the police. Patch's response? He shakes his head and says "You'll send Vee to juvie for destruction of property and B and E".
OH, WELL EXCUSE HER FOR THINKING THAT IT'S BETTER TO GET THE AUTHORITIES INVOLVED, YOU DICKCHEESE!
I'm sorry but...Christ! That right there is pretty much the entire message of this book! Don't tell your teacher that the guy's harassing you, he'll just patronize and laugh at you. Don't tell the police that you're being stalked and threatened, they won't believe you. And now, don't call the police in, if you know your best friend is being held hostage by an insane guy who very likely killed before! It's much better to rush in without knowing what you're doing and putting your friend at great risk, rather than saving said friend's life and, le gasp, having them face the consequences of what they did to get in that situation to begin with! For heaven's sake, Vee agreed to break into the school! Why should Nora be in the wrong calling the police?
*sigh* Of course this occurs to neither of those idiots, and Nora just meekly backs down and goes along with Patch's brilliant idea. There's a brief moment where Patch asks about Jules, and Nora just tells him that Jules was with Elliot when they were all at the amusement park. Patch just pretty much says "Um...no he wasn't. I'd have remembered it", and that's the last Jules is mentioned. You'd think Nora would tell about the bit she knew, where Jules said something to Elliot about a test, or at least mention how odd it was that when Jules was at the amusement park, he hid in the bathroom for a half an hour or so.
Also, I love how Nora in no way insists that Jules was at the amusement park, or amend her statement at all to "He was there, but he left early". I guess Her Man has spoken, so there's no point in arguing, is there?
They head out of the bathroom, and Nora starts yapping that she must come along, or else Elliot might kill Vee if she doesn't show up. Even though she also thinks that Elliot will hurt Vee. And even though Patch can mind rape Elliot into thinking that Nora was coming in, even if she wasn't there. No, it's best of she shows up. Patch agrees, on the condition that Nora does exactly what he tells her to. *dryly* Of course. And Nora, being her dumbass self, agrees while telling us that she doesn't intend to do so. You know, I hate when these sorts of books have the guys expecting the girls to be meek and submissive and do whatever they say, but this is pretty much the only point in the book where it's justified. We're apparently to take it that Patch knows what he's doing and has some brilliant strategy in mind. In that sort of case, it's common sense to go with what the dude with the plan has in mind! Ignoring the plan, especially without giving any warning or discussion, is just begging for things to go wrong!
And...we then get an incredibly stupid and pointless swerve in the plot. I'll just tell you it and then pause to pick it apart.
Nora and Patch make it outside, and find that two of the tires on Patch's Jeep have been slashed with a screwdriver. Nora initially suspects that Patch is mindraping her so that he has an excuse to not rescue Vee (...) but no, apparently this is real. He believes that it was done by someone he beat at gambling who is pissed at him. Patch decides to fix the problem by sauntering over to a car a few spaces away, hotwiring it, and asking Nora to get in. She refuses to participate in the theft of a car (while noting that Patch's familiarity and comfort with this indicates that he's stolen cars before), and instead goes back into the theater and finds an employee sweeping the floor. Apparently he too goes to Nora's high school, and his name is Brandt. Yes, this is the first we've heard of him and no, he serves no purpose to the plot other than this one bit. Nora...calls in a favor I guess, as it seems she once helped him with a Shakespeare paper, and wants to know if he's willing to loan her his car. He says he won't, and then Patch comes him. "His approach wasn't all that different from a cloud eclipsing the sun, subtly darkening the landscape, hinting of a storm", and he promptly changes Brandt's mind by shelling out three hundred bucks. Brandt tosses over the keys and asks if they'll fill up the tank before returning it. Patch forks over another twenty in case he forgets that. He and Nora head off to get the car, while Patch explains to Nora that he normally doesn't have that much money on his person and contrived coincidences of contrived coincidences, he won it playing pool a few nights prior.
Right. Sooooo...what was the point of that? That served no purpose. The tire-slashing wasn't related to the plot. That Brandt dude is never mentioned again. What, did Fitzpatrick see that scene in Terminator 2, where John finds some car keys so the Terminator doesn't have to hotwire the car, and decided she wanted to write something similar in? Normally I'd think it was to show that Nora could handle some things on her own, using her connection to that kid to help them out, but it can't even be that because Patch still is the one who ultimately solves the issue! What, was that supposed to be funny? If so, that fails at humor and is horribly placed! Seriously, what is it with Suethors ruining dramatic moments with komedy?
Also, please note that Nora believes that (A) Patch is perfectly willing with letting Vee - her best friend - die, just because he doesn't like her (and yes, I know I said that I wouldn't mourn her, but he's supposed to be signing on for guardian angelship and in any case, there's a difference between hating a character and letting your girlfriend's best friend die) and (B) Patch is perfectly at ease with hot-wiring and stealing cars, because it's old hat to him. And she never gives pause to think of the implications to any of these things. Nope. Our Heroine, ladies and gentlemen.
So they arrive at the high school, which we're told "The original part of the building had been constructed in the late nineteenth century, and after sunset it looked very much like a cathedral. Gray and foreboding. Very dark. Very abandoned". By this point, I'm surprised Fitzpatrick isn't going the whole hog and throwing in a thunder storm. I'm not certain how many nineteenth century catheral-buildings are in Maine, but by this point, I'm just waiting for the story to be over.
Patch pulls up alongside of the school and gets out. Fitzpatrick channels Gethesemane as we get it hammered home how Patch is wearing black and has dark hair and dusky skin and thus is hardcore and blends into the night. Whatever. He tells Nora to wait in the car like a good little girl, and to stay out of sight and drive away if someone comes out of the building for her. I guess the implicated exception to that is Patch himself or Vee, although I'd think Nora ought to drive away from them as well. And of course, given how Nora has been so great at thinking things through and following orders thus far, I'm sure she'll do as she's told.
Idiots, the lot of them. I'm so glad we're nearly done!
Onward to: Chapter 28
Back to: Chapter 26 (Part 2)
Return to: Table of Contents