Hush, Hush: Chapter 30
ZeldaQueen: Are you guys ready to put this thing to rest? I know I am!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 30
ZeldaQueen: Okay folks, the good news is that this is the last chapter. After thirty chapters of this muck, we have successfully slogged our way to the finish line. Woot!
The bad news is that Fitzpatrick seems quite determined to drive me to insanity in the home stretch. Because this chapter? It's just stupid. Those of you who followed the Sparkle Project will remember that one of the things on the Twilight Checklist was "Consequence-Free Behavior". This chapter hits that score in a big way. But hey, don't take my word for it! Let's begin!
We get some vague descriptions of what Nora is hearing, namely the ticking of the clock and the OVERLY SYMBOLIK rushing of wings. I...really don't get what's going on here. There's talk of some beat and a metaphorical liquid inside of Nora, but I honestly don't understand what it's supposed to be.
Eh, I guess we can just chalk it up to Fitzpatrick trying to be all MYSTICAL and MYSTERIOUS about Nora coming back to life. What, you're surprised she isn't dead? She's the Mary Sue protagonist of this wish-fulfillment fantasy. Did you really think Fitzpatrick would do something like kill her off? That would involve breaking free of the cliche-ridden template and dealing with consequences and other such icky things. Ew!
In any case, Nora wakes up and is in...her bedroom. That's right. Um...why her bedroom. Why not, I don't know, a hospital? She just fell a considerable distance, far enough to kill her, and yet it's apparently not a good idea to get her medical attention? And no, don't try to tell me that the hospital is out of the question because she couldn't tell them how it happened. I have to agree with Limyaeel, skirting around problems just because you're too afraid or lazy to deal with them is sloppy and weak writing.
So yeah, Nora wakes up and remembers everything and is so afraid she shivers. Right. She had been locked in the school, saw Elliot nearly die, thought she and Vee were both going to die, was psychologically tortured, had a gun shoved against her neck, was possessed and forced to fight Jules, climbed onto the rafters (which she was completely terrified of) and leaped to her death. And she just acted like very narrowly dodged flunking a class.
Yet again, it's just lazy writing. Clearly, Fitzpatrick can't be bothered to have Nora suffer any psychological consequences to all the stuff that happened to her. I'm sure she certainly won't need a therapist, given how evil they are. *rolls eyes* And again, it's Twilight and Airhead, with the Big Bad Thing almost immediately forgotten. A note to aspiring authors - it doesn't work that way.
In fact, here's an example of it done right. In one of my favorite manga series, Project ARMS, a girl named Katsumi is nearly blown up, and thinks that she's been rescued by this guy. She discovers that the guy actually kidnapped her and was intending to use her as a means to kill her boyfriend. She also finds this out just in time to (A) watch the guy who kidnapped her turn himself into a hideous monster and (B) watch said monster get impaled by another dude, also turned into a monster. Katsumi is then kidnapped by the second guy, who tosses her in the path of her boyfriend, meaning that she is essentially (albeit accidentally) murdered by her boyfriend, who she had been holding onto the vague hope would rescue her. She's brought back to life, but not before being trapped in a physical representation of the dark side of a crazy little girl's psyche. After Katsumi is rescued and goes home, she does not adjust well. She has nightmares that her mother abandons her and her kidnappers return for her. She freaks out and screams at people. She is a wreck. Her roommate (who was one of the people who saved her) assures her that this is fine. She is trying to get over huge amounts of trauma. She just needs to take things at her own pace and know that her friends will always be there for her (and...I believe the implication was there that the group that rescued her was providing therapy, but I can't remember for certain).
This though? It's just weak. Nora does not act like someone who just had a near-death, very traumatic experience. Heck, she hardly remembers it all come the sequel! Why are we supposed to believe that the climax was a huge, terrifying thing when the protagonist herself is hardly affected?
So yeah, Nora calls out to Patch and there he is, sitting in the corner and watching her sleep. We're told that Serious Patch is Serious and "His eyes held more depth than I'd ever seen before". Considering how I've never gotten the impression before that his eyes held any particular depth, that means absolutely nothing to me.
Nora freaks out when he reminds her of what happened in the high school. At least, she's supposed to be freaking out. She still sounds like she's perfectly coherent and calm. Patch says that throwing herself off of the rafters was a brave thing. No, it's a stupid thing. I refuse to believe that there was no way Nora could have trapped Jules or escaped before then. Patch comes into the room and shuts the door behind him. Nora notes that "I knew it was his way of trying to lock out all the bad". HOW. HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT. HE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING BEFORE TO INDICATE THAT HE DOES THINGS LIKE THAT. AND IF YOU TELL ME THAT IT'S BECAUSE NORA IS SO IN-TUNE TO HIS THOUGHTS AND MIND, I WILL SAY "BULLSHIT".
I am not happy, in case it's not apparent. And I continue to stay in this rotten mood, because Fitzpatrick is quite determined to test me. Because Patch explains why Nora survived and what happened to Jules
"'When you jumped, the sacrifice killed Jules. Technically, when you came back, he should have too. But since he didn't have a soul, he had nothing to revive his body.'
'I came back?' I said, hoping I wasn't filling myself with false hope.
'I didn't accept your sacrifice. I turned it down'"
ZeldaQueen: Jesus Christ.
First, let us examine the beginning part of that excerpt. Okay, so Nora kills herself in Patch's name (*gags*) and he refuses that sacrifice, so she...comes back to life. Right. Fitzpatrick?
HOW DOES THAT WORK???
Good lord, how? Fitzpatrick, do you have any idea what happens to a body that has died from falling from a great height? The organs are splattered and most likely causing internal bleeding! Bones are broken! Depending on how Nora landed, her spine could be broken! (Although possibly she dodged that one, seeing as she doesn't have a spine to begin with. *rim shot*) The average size of a high school gyme is 100' x 60'. The rafters wouldn't be right at the ceiling, so let's say that they're ten feet below (I honestly can't find anything on standard rafter placement, so if I'm off, please correct me). That means that Nora would have tossed herself fifty feet to the ground. So let's say that Patch turning down her sacrifice puts her soul back in her body. Fine. Shouldn't she die all over again? Her organs are still bleeding. Her bones are still shattered. Her brain is most likely damaged to some extent (or at least moreso than it already was. *rim shot*), given that it probably hit the ground with pretty serious force. Even if, by some divine ruling, she didn't die all over again, she ought to be suffering from more than the vague aches she had upon waking up. You feel sore all over, Nora? Try being never able to properly walk again. Or needing surgery or a blood donation. Which a hospital could readily supply you with, if your boyfriend had left you for professional medical care. But no, Nora's able to be up and on her feet minutes after she wakes up. What, are we supposed to believe that getting re-souled miraculously healed all of her? If that's the case, why is she still sore? HOW DOES THIS WORK?
Now, let us look at the part about Jules. So he didn't have a soul, did he? That's news to me. I'm dead serious here, ladies and gentlemen, not once before now was there any indication that Jules or Nephilim in general were soulless. Nothing was even on that stupid website Nora visited. And no, I will not buy "it's in the Biblical text" as an excuse because guess what? Fitzpatrick lost the right to play that card when she decided to hack apart the story to suit her own wants. If she wanted to set up for a loophole, she should have left some hint of some sort of a hint, and that goes for the re-souling of Nora. In fact, let's look at the difference between what she should have done and what she did, using Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
Chekhov's Gun - It's mentioned that Phoenix tears have very strong healing powers and that they can carry immensely heavy loads. At the end of the book, Fawkes the Phoenix uses his tears to cure Harry of the Basilisk venom and carries him, Ron, Ginny, and Lockhart out of the chamber.
Asspull - Dumbledore simply says that Fawkes is a phoenix and says nothing more about it. When Fawkes cries on Harry's wound and carries everyone out of the chamber, Dumbledore only then says "Oh yeah, phoenix tears are totally a cure-all and they're very strong. Cool, huh?"
Do you see the difference?
Nora instantly goes all ga-ga over this proclamation, not because she just rose from the dead, but because oh look, Patch didn't take the opportunity to get his human body! In other words, Nora is amazed that Patch did not take advantage of his girlfriend's death to get what he wants.
Yeah, I reeeeeally don't think Fitzpatrick thinks about what she's writing.
Patch tells her that a human body is no good without her around. And yes, I'm sure I'm supposed to sigh and think that's the most romantic thing ever, but I don't. For starters, given the rapist overtones Patch has given and how he only ever wants to grope Nora or kiss her and makes it clear that he's very interested in her body, all I can hear him saying is "Why would I want a human body if I can't molest you with it?" Not to mention that it doesn't make Patch look noble, it makes Nora look stupid. We're supposed to believe that those two are in True and Deep love. If that's taken to be true (just...go with it) and Patch is given a choice between a human body and the girl he loves, for the love of fuck why does Nora think he'd let her die to get what he wants? That's like if I threw myself in front of a car and then was surprised that my family took me to the hospital instead of letting me die to collect on my life insurance.
Although I must say, I'm very confused as to why Patch didn't get his human body. Nora died and Jules died with her. That's all the conditions that needed to be fulfilled. There was nothing mentioned before about Patch having to accept any sacrifice, just that Nora had to do it willingly, which she did. So why does Patch not have a human body?
Oh right. Drama. Of course. That, and we need to pad for more sequels.
Patch takes Nora's hand and starts kissing her knuckles, which Nora says are all painful and sore as a result of punching Jules. Granted I'm not familiar with punching, but given how Nora's hands are decidedly unused to fighting and Patch still used them to strike Jules with enough force to knock him over, shouldn't her knuckles be broken, or at least pretty damaged? Either way, they're hurting and Patch is going right ahead and grabbing then and kissing them. Great job buddy, I'm sure that'll make them heal up splendidly. Why don't you just do a jig on her pelvis while you're at it?
Also, we're told that her hand was bandaged which, besides implying that Patch is being all grabby with at least moderately injured body parts, makes it even stupider that Nora is not in a hospital. Clearly she does have injuries, because someone (Patch) bandaged her up, yet SHE'S JUST FEELING MILDLY ACHY FROM JUMPING TO HER DEATH??? JESUS CHRIST!
I will make it. I will.
Nora starts to cry over Patch's horrific sacrifice (*rolls eyes*) and Patch clutches her to his chest, which conveniently does not cause her any pain at all, even though we were just told how it hurt too much for her to even sit up in bed. It then crosses Nora's tiny mind that oh yeah, Patch saved a human, so he's a guardian angel now! Imagine that! She has him pull up his shirt so she can see his back (and I'm sure Fitzpatrick and the fans started panting over this) and sees that the scars are gone. He explains that she can't see his wings because they are made of "spiritual matter". *raises eyebrows* "Matter"? Seriously? What next, are we going to get a biological explanation as to how angels work?
Nora is all delighted and Patch has great news for her. He gets to be her guardian angel! What fun! Her stalker and rapist gets to be her bodyguard! Isn't that fan-fucking-tastic! It's even better when he describes his job as "Guard your body" and adds that "I take my job seriously, which means I'm going to need to get acquainted with the subject matter on
a personal level". And no, dear viewers, we're not supposed to read that like a serial killer who has tied his latest victim to a bed before he disects her.
So Nora gets all fluttery in the stomach and asks if Patch can feel things again. Why would he? No angels can feel anything, I thought! Patch tells her he can't, but that he's not "blacklisted" anymore. You know, I'm definitely convinced by now that the angels running the show are morons. Clearly they haven't paid the slightest bit of attention to Patch's behavior, because they'd see how inappropriate his actions towards Nora have been. Even if we ignore the blatant abuse, it's still clear that he's lusting after her something terrible, and it was made more than obvious that THAT IS NOT ALLOWED. That was what he was chucked out of Heaven for, and they'd just be fine with him serving as guardian angel while he says things like the quote above? And no, there is no law that says that the angel gets to be guardian of whoever gets saved, because the sequel has Patch temporarily switching to a different person to guard over.
Reality decides to intervene when Nora hears the garage door open and realizes that her mother is coming home. Apparently she has only just now gotten home. Nora asks if she's the only one who can see Patch, and he gives her a patronizing look for not knowing that he's visible to everyone. Dude, she just found out you were a guardian angel! How should she know that? Although I do have to agree that it's stupid when she forgets that an angel with wings can just fly out the window. Nora tells Patch to get out, because her mother will be horrified if she finds him in the bedroom with her. Personally, I'd think her mother would be horrified to find the house in shambles and partially burnt down, but that's just me.
Patch heads out the window, but not before telling her that the police and firemen had already visited the house and stopped the fire before it spread beyond the master bedroom. So wait. The police and firemen get a panicked call about someone breaking in and setting a house on fire, they come in to find signs of a struggle (including an exploded bannister) and a fire in one of the rooms, can't find the person who made the call, and just leave the house empty? They're not at least keeping people just outside of the house, in case Nora came home? They're not documenting things in the house? What, did Fitzpatrick think that the firemen and the police showed up, put out the fire, and went on a coffee break until Nora came back?
*tugs at hair* Apparently they did, because Nora's mother comes in and says that there's police tape outside, what happened? Fitzpatrick, do you realize that if the police visited and found the house in the state Nora left it in, they would station people outside? And that said officers stationed outside would, in all certainty, either detain Nora's mother for questioning or accompany her inside? The police don't just put up tape and then wander off! GAH!
Patch tells Nora that he doesn't care what her cover story is, but he'd appreciate it if she didn't tell about his involvement. That shouldn't be too hard Patch, considering that you did fuck-all to contribute to the climax. He also says that the Vee called the police in time and that the paramedicts found Elliot in time to save his life. Keep all of this in mind for a bit.
A moment later, Nora's mother turns on the lights and then shouts about the bannister. I would think that a person could tell if their banister had been blown to bits before turning on the lights, but that's just me. Nora's mother is very upset, or at least we're supposed to assume she is. The way she's acting, it sounds like she's mildly irritated that Nora tracked mud all over the carpet. Perhaps it's because she came in to find police tape around her house and the bannister smashed and then she just disappears from the story long enough for Nora to call Vee.
Oh yeah, because that's what Nora decides to do now. The police are around and will certainly want her testimony, she has to get her cover story sorted out, and her mother is presumably worried about her. So of course now is the best time to call Vee! Because Nora just is trying to ignore all of the bad things
"The sky was a perfect, rinsed blue. The sun was just starting to fan out across the horizon. It was Monday, a brand-new day, the horrors of the past twenty-four hours far behind. I had five hours of sleep under my belt, and other than the all-over body pain that came from being suckedinto death, then spat back out, I felt remarkably refreshed. I didn't want to hang a black cloud over the moment by reminding myself that the police were expected to arrive any minute to take my statement on the night's events. I still hadn't made up my mind what I was going to tell them"
ZeldaQueen: Nora. You did not flunk a math exam. You did not crash your mothers car. YOU WERE HELD HOSTAGE AND ATTACKED AND HAD A GUN POINTED TO YOUR HEAD. AND YOU THINK THE BEST THING TO DO IS JUST TRY TO IGNORE IT AND HOPE THAT IT WILL ALL JUST GO AWAY WITHOUT ANY EFFORT FROM YOU?
Yes. Yes she does. Although I suppose we should not be surprised. Fitzpatrick has written these people as being so unbelievably stupid that it does go away without any effort from her.
*throws up hands* This is ridiculous!
No, wait, not only does she have time for a phone call, she has time to go into the bathroon, change from her nightgown into clothes, and go back to her bedroom. Meaning that her mother probably heard her walking around upstairs and still isn't trying to find her or say anything. What's her mother doing, anyway? Did she just leave reality for a half an hour or so?
Also, there's a charming bit where Nora pretty much admits that Patch changed her out of the clothes she had been wearing when she jumped and into her nightgown. Ignoring the question of how he managed to do that without making her injuries even worse, the guy who has been stalking her and dominating her and generally being a horrible creeper took off her clothes while she was unconscious. For no reason. Seriously, Nora could have been just as comfortable in her clothes from earlier. It's not like they were ripped up or soaking wet or anything.
As you can probably tell, I'm pretty much to worn down by now for any ranting. It's just the same squick as before, thrown in there because Fitzpatrick wants to titter about how sexy it is that Patch took off her clothes while she was unconscious. If you can't see why that's messed up, I'm not going to get through to you.
So finally Nora calls Vee. Now keep in mind, when Nora and Vee last parted, Nora was left in the school with Jules clearly trying to kill her. Vee has not seen Nora since, has no idea what happened to her, and (we'll see in a minute) just found out that Jules is dead. So of course when she answers the phone, she acts like she and Nora had just escaped being caught by the police at a party with underage drinking. I'm serious. She does not sound the least bit worried for Nora's wellbeing. I suspect that Fitzpatrick was trying to make her sound ashamed of being the cause of the situation, but it still is stupid.
Vee says that she was given a call in the middle of the night about how Nora had been beaten up by Jules and was alright. Vee apparently buys this completely, even though she later admits that she thinks that Patch killed Jules. In other words, she not only believes the word of a guy she thinks is capable of murder, but she's perfectly fine with her best friend being left in his care.
ZeldaQueen: Also, please allow me to pause and try to figure out exactly how the fuck this timeline works. This all happened late last night. Apparently Nora's mother was stuck wherever she was for two days (both the day and night Nora went to Portland and ended up in the motel and the day and night she fought Dabria and Jules). At some point last night, the police received a phone call from Nora about how an insane person was trying to burn down the house and kill her. A few hours later, the police also got a call from Vee which probably went along the lines of "there's an insane person who broke into the high school and is trying to kill someone". They find Jules dead and no one at the burnt-down home (while we never learn exactly what Vee tells the police, she presumably didn't give Nora's name, because no one ever connects her to the death of Jules).
Now, it just might be me, but if I were the Coldwater police department, I'd hear that there was a call for a break-in and arson and a call not too long after for an attempted murder and I'd think it could be possible that there's some connection between the two events. And yet, we're still supposed to believe that the police aren't scouring the town for Nora!
GOD. Fitzpatrick, why do you insult my intelligence and the intelligence of your fans? It's a great disservice, you know!
So Vee gives us exactly what Patch told her
"He called from the Jeep. He said you were asleep in the back-seat and he was driving you home. He said he just happened to be driving past the high school when he heard a scream. He said he found you in the gym, but that you'd fainted from pain. The next thing he knew, he looked up and saw Jules jump off the rafter. He said Jules must have snapped, a side effect from all the burdensome guilt he felt over terrorizing you"
ZeldaQueen: I suspect that Vee has left her brain on standby again, as well as forgotten her deep suspicion of Patch. Because quite frankly, the excuse of "I happened to be driving by the high school and just by complete coincidence heard your best friend screaming from inside" sounds rather shady, not to mention nonsensical. High schools are big, or at least this one is, if it's built like a God-damned cathedral. Nora was in the gym, which apparently is not near any doors to the outside (and if there are, I'm going to ask very loudly why she didn't escape through them). I realize that there are often roads right by some high schools to make it more convenient to drop off and pick up students, but I would like to remind the jury that Patch, living up to his Bad Boy image, rarely even visits the school when he's supposed to be attending. Why the heck would he just happen to be driving around a pick up/drop off area of the high school around the middle of the night, then? And if he was driving down a main road, am I seriously to believe that he heard one person, from the bowels of the high school, screaming?
Given how unlikely both events are, and given how Vee thinks Patch is capable of murder, a sane person would put two and two together and think that Patch did a number on Nora. Vee, of course, is not a sane person and thus just ignores it.
Also, I'd think that if Nora had been hurt so much that she fainted from it, that would imply that she was not mildly roughed up (as Vee said Patch told her Nora was), nor would it be accurate to say Nora was asleep. Unconscious and asleep are not the same thing, and unconscious is something that is possibly something that a doctor might need to examine, especially if it's unconsciousness from being beaten up.
Also-also, Vee sounds remarkably collected, for someone who learned that she was dating a guy who was stalking and terrorizing her best friend after all of this time.
Nora reacts to hearing this story with "Obviously, Patch had manipulated a few details". No shit, Sherlock. Although I'd say it's more accurate to say he flat-out lied. In any case, why didn't Patch tell Nora about this cover story of his? He told her to make up anything, but he wasn't worried that she'd say something that would contradict him? Cheese and crackers, these people are stupid! Also, when Vee makes it clear that she thinks Patch murdered Jules, Nora comments that "In Vee's position, I'd probably think similarly". I'd hope so, given that Patch really was fine with murdering Jules! Nora, baby, have you forgotten that his main road to being human involved MURDERING JULES?
Christ. This...this is so stupid! And it never ends! IT. NEVER. ENDS.
Nora asks what the police are saying about the case, and apparently it's all over the news and has been reported as a suicide. You know, this being such big news really makes me wonder even more why the police aren't speculating about connections between Nora calling for help against Dabria and Jules dying. I'd imagine that if a suicide caused such a stir, a person coming into a house, attempting murder, and burning down a room would get just as much attention.
Oh, and this is just great. Apparently Vee was worried about being arrested for breaking into the high school, so she found a pay phone and tipped off the police anonymously. In other words, she knew that Nora was trapped in the school and probably was going to be tortured or murdered, and she wasted time searching for a pay phone (seriously Fitzpatrick, how many of those are around?) just to cover her own ass. Truly, Vee is a great friend.
And no, Nora does not point that out. Instead, she goes with the suicide story, saying that if that's what the police have ruled, who is she to say otherwise? After all, "this is modern-day America We have the benefit of forensics".
Yes hun, yes you do. And would you like to know a few of the things that the police would figure out, thanks to those modern-day forensics?
- That Jules does not have a birth certificate or any forms of ID or, if he does, that they would be forged
- That Jules does not have family living nearby (or living at all for that matter), that his entire story about them being away on business was a complete fabrication, and almost certainly that the house he lives in is owned by him
- That any previous schools or places Jules would have stayed at would be just more lies, or at least lead to more lies eventually, seeing as his real place of origin is France, several centuries back
- That at least one other person had most likely been in the high school with Jules, or else he stabbed himself in the leg with a scalpel. Given forensic techniques, I'd imagine that the wound could tell how it was stabbed, and how long ago it was stabbed
- Oh yeah, that NORA'S FINGERPRINTS ARE ON JULES'S NECK, BECAUSE PATCH STRANGLED JULES WHILE IN NORA'S BODY
And I'm sure I missed a number of things. Have fun spotting the plot holes, folks. There's plenty to go around!
There's a brief bit where Vee demands to know everything an Nora sins her ass off about how she hates hiding things from Vee, but must because of the whole fallen angel bit. Vee apologizes for being such a dumbass, and it's far too little, far too late. Vee also proclaims that they need to go shoe shopping, because clearly that's a great way to get past being held hostage and in danger of being killed. Given how the book jacket says that shoe shopping is one of Fitzpatrick's favorite pasttimes, I also smell author appeal.
At this point, the doorbell rings and the police come in now, of all times. How convenient. I've already ranted about how this doesn't make sense, and I'm very tired, so I'll just move on. Vee instantly freaks out when Nora says that she has to go give a statement, because Vee's worried that Nora will tell about the breaking in and entering. So she'd rather Nora risk getting in serious trouble with the police for lying. Lovely. But no, this is apparently about Dabria's breaking in and arson from before. Not sure how Nora is so confident that that's why they're there intead of entertaining the notion that the police are curious if she was involved with the Jules thing, but whatever.
So Nora goes downstairs, and finds that her mother has materialized into the story again and is letting the police in. Seriously, what was she doing that entire time? If my mother came home and found police tape and a broken bannister, she'd be all over the house trying to find me, if only for an explanation! Anyway, in come our favorite cops, Detectives Basso and Holstijic. Joy. You know, as stupid as the House of Night series is, at least the Cast ladies wrote in a police officer that was likable and competent. So now, besides out-failing Stephenie Meyer, Fitzpatrick has out-failed PC and Kristin Cast. Wow.
The detectives come in, and Detective Basso makes a comment about how often he's been running into Nora as of late. Nora's mother is confused, as this is the first she's heard of any of this. Yeah, remember how Basso had asked for Nora to get him into contact with her mother? Apparently that was optional. No Fitzpatrick, it doesn't work like that. I don't care what sort of a crazy world you've written, even if the police didn't contact Nora's mother directly after they'd been called about the intruder, they would have done so after the Marcie Millar incident.
Nora brushes the comment off as cop humor, and I would dearly love to have seen Detective Basso rat her out on not getting them into contact with her mother like they asked. Instead, they just drop it (including Nora's mother, who by now I think it's safe to say is possibly the most clueless twit on the face of the Earth) and ask Nora what happened with Dabria. Nora gives a shorthand account - that Dabria just came into the house, said Nora had something she wanted, and tried to kill her. Nora hid in the chimney flue upstairs, and Dabria set the master bedroom on fire.
Detective Basso for once actually acts like a police officer and starts asking relevent questions, like what exactly Dabria had wanted of Nora's. Nora insists that Dabria never said, and tries to pass the whole thing off as her being insane. Incidentally, no one ever questions how Dabria blew up a bannister.
Basso comments on how crazy this all is (word to that, buddy) and Nora's mother is all meek and asks if her daughter is safe. Incidentally, she never really follows up at all after learning that her daughter was nearly murdered. There's no investigation of the high school, no additional interviews with the police, she doesn't even try to get Nora back into therapy, nothing. Basso makes one more intelligent comment and says that they ought to install a security system. He gives Nora's mother a business card and says he vouches for those people. Hoooooooooo boy, just wait on that, shall we?
We get an Airhead jump to a few hours later, when the people from the security system show up. Nora's mother makes it clear that she can't sleep soundly until Dabria is caught, which begs the question of why Nora didn't just tell her earlier about everything going on. Here we see that her mother has found out about Nora being in danger and isn't planning on moving. Also, Nora's mother briefly comments on how stupid the school was to hire someone so obviously unbalanced. Of course, she doesn't care enough to transfer Nora to another school, or have her carry pepper spray around or anything.
Anywho, Nora's mother answers the door and there's...Patch. Dressed in a white t-shirt and Levis, for fan-wanking purposes. Nora's mother is all uneasy at this, and asks if he's here to visit Nora. And...Christ. You people have got to see this
"'Patch.' I couldn't quite nail my mom's tone. Surprise mixed with discomfiture. 'Are you here to see Nora?'
Patch smiled. 'I'm here to spec your house for a new alarm system.'
'I thought you had a different job,' said Mom. 'I thought you bussed tables at the Borderline.'
'I got a new job.'"
ZeldaQueen: Hey guys, remember that great spitefic gehayi wrote for Chapter Twenty-two? It was a really cool one which, besides giving Nora a ton of agency, also gave good information on how Nora should have responded to Patch's "advances". One of those bits of advice was for the Gray family to change their locks and make sure that Patch was in no way affiliated with or working for the company they hired to do so.
Evidently Fitzpatrick decided to kick that bit of common sense in the balls, along with every other one she's stomped over in relation to dealing with abuse and abusive boyfriends. Because that right there? It pretty much says that Nora's abusive boyfriend will know every little detail about her home security system, and thus can break into her house whenever he wants, or tell other people how to break into her house.
Of course, there's the other side of fail, namely the fact that Patch is installing security systems! So far as I recall, he never keeps this job in any of the sequels. So that means that the security system company hired a high school kid whose main qualifications are as a busboy, who probably has very few if any references or letters of recommendation, and who most likely lied when they asked him questions like "Do you plan to stay with this company long-term?", given that I find it impossible to believe they hired him if he said "No, I just want to get in good with my girlfriend, before going back to making a living playing pool and gambling".
And then, there's the issue of time, namely how the fuck long has he been working there? A few weeks? Fitzpatrick, it was not so long ago that you had him bussing tables. And no, he didn't say he was holding both jobs at once, he said that it was a new job, implying that he quit his old one. Fitzpatrick, do you have any idea how the application process for jobs like that are? This is not some fast-food job, where they know Patch can be taught quickly what to do and are used to hiring employees and seeing them go on a dime. Installing security systems is something taken a good bit more seriously because YOU'RE DEALING WITH A CUSTOMER'S SECURITY! Imagine how stupid the company would look if it came out that they hired an idiot who installed a bunch of systems wrong and their customers were robbed or had their homes broken into! Not to mention that even if Patch did somehow procure recommendations and references to convince the company that he already had the proper training towards that sort of thing (and knowing Patch, he probably just mindraped them into thinking he did), he still shouldn't know how to do it, which means that not only is Nora's abusive boyfriend given extensive knowledge of her security system, he's probably not going to install it correctly.
And I'm sure that if I pointed out all of the above to one of the fans, they'd tell me that it doesn't matter, because Patch is Nora's guardian angel and he can look after her better than a modern security system can. Ignoring the fact that, as we'll see in the sequels, Patch does a terrible job as her guardian angel, that's still not a good thing. Because yet again, FITZPATRICK HAS WRITTEN IT THAT NORA IS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DEPENDANT ON HER ASSHOLE, ABUSIVE, RAPIST BOYFRIEND FOR PROTECTION, BECAUSE OF HIS DIRECT MEDDLING!
HAPPY THOUGHTS, ZELDAQUEEN. HAPPY THOUGHTS. WE'RE NEARLY DONE.
*deep breathing*
So Patch wanders out to his car to get his stuff, and not once does Nora's mother question the reputation of a company that sends a high school student for such an important and delicate job. Nora follows Patch outside and insists that he owes her some answers. *tiredly* Didn't we already go through this? Like, five times? Patch, of course, ignores this and makes it clear via his despicable mindrape that he's horny and wants to get it on with her. So predictably they make out, which of course is creepy, because we're told that when Patch shoves the word "Kiss" into Nora's head, "It wasn't a question, but a warning. He grinned when I didn't protest, and lowered his mouth toward mine."
God, I'm worn down.
So they make out, and life is completely fantastic, so long as you ignore the fact that Nora's home is partially burnt down, Dabria's out there plotting revenge, and Nora is going to be surveyed at all times by and is rewarded by getting to date her abusive stalker (Pamela: Or Virtue Rewarded, anyone?)
And...that's it! *happy dance* Well, that's it for the story itself, anyway. Stick around for the extra stuff, and then the Final Assessment. There shall be words for this book, believe you me!
Onward to: Acknowledgements
Back to: Chapter 29
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 30
ZeldaQueen: Okay folks, the good news is that this is the last chapter. After thirty chapters of this muck, we have successfully slogged our way to the finish line. Woot!
The bad news is that Fitzpatrick seems quite determined to drive me to insanity in the home stretch. Because this chapter? It's just stupid. Those of you who followed the Sparkle Project will remember that one of the things on the Twilight Checklist was "Consequence-Free Behavior". This chapter hits that score in a big way. But hey, don't take my word for it! Let's begin!
We get some vague descriptions of what Nora is hearing, namely the ticking of the clock and the OVERLY SYMBOLIK rushing of wings. I...really don't get what's going on here. There's talk of some beat and a metaphorical liquid inside of Nora, but I honestly don't understand what it's supposed to be.
Eh, I guess we can just chalk it up to Fitzpatrick trying to be all MYSTICAL and MYSTERIOUS about Nora coming back to life. What, you're surprised she isn't dead? She's the Mary Sue protagonist of this wish-fulfillment fantasy. Did you really think Fitzpatrick would do something like kill her off? That would involve breaking free of the cliche-ridden template and dealing with consequences and other such icky things. Ew!
In any case, Nora wakes up and is in...her bedroom. That's right. Um...why her bedroom. Why not, I don't know, a hospital? She just fell a considerable distance, far enough to kill her, and yet it's apparently not a good idea to get her medical attention? And no, don't try to tell me that the hospital is out of the question because she couldn't tell them how it happened. I have to agree with Limyaeel, skirting around problems just because you're too afraid or lazy to deal with them is sloppy and weak writing.
So yeah, Nora wakes up and remembers everything and is so afraid she shivers. Right. She had been locked in the school, saw Elliot nearly die, thought she and Vee were both going to die, was psychologically tortured, had a gun shoved against her neck, was possessed and forced to fight Jules, climbed onto the rafters (which she was completely terrified of) and leaped to her death. And she just acted like very narrowly dodged flunking a class.
Yet again, it's just lazy writing. Clearly, Fitzpatrick can't be bothered to have Nora suffer any psychological consequences to all the stuff that happened to her. I'm sure she certainly won't need a therapist, given how evil they are. *rolls eyes* And again, it's Twilight and Airhead, with the Big Bad Thing almost immediately forgotten. A note to aspiring authors - it doesn't work that way.
In fact, here's an example of it done right. In one of my favorite manga series, Project ARMS, a girl named Katsumi is nearly blown up, and thinks that she's been rescued by this guy. She discovers that the guy actually kidnapped her and was intending to use her as a means to kill her boyfriend. She also finds this out just in time to (A) watch the guy who kidnapped her turn himself into a hideous monster and (B) watch said monster get impaled by another dude, also turned into a monster. Katsumi is then kidnapped by the second guy, who tosses her in the path of her boyfriend, meaning that she is essentially (albeit accidentally) murdered by her boyfriend, who she had been holding onto the vague hope would rescue her. She's brought back to life, but not before being trapped in a physical representation of the dark side of a crazy little girl's psyche. After Katsumi is rescued and goes home, she does not adjust well. She has nightmares that her mother abandons her and her kidnappers return for her. She freaks out and screams at people. She is a wreck. Her roommate (who was one of the people who saved her) assures her that this is fine. She is trying to get over huge amounts of trauma. She just needs to take things at her own pace and know that her friends will always be there for her (and...I believe the implication was there that the group that rescued her was providing therapy, but I can't remember for certain).
This though? It's just weak. Nora does not act like someone who just had a near-death, very traumatic experience. Heck, she hardly remembers it all come the sequel! Why are we supposed to believe that the climax was a huge, terrifying thing when the protagonist herself is hardly affected?
So yeah, Nora calls out to Patch and there he is, sitting in the corner and watching her sleep. We're told that Serious Patch is Serious and "His eyes held more depth than I'd ever seen before". Considering how I've never gotten the impression before that his eyes held any particular depth, that means absolutely nothing to me.
Nora freaks out when he reminds her of what happened in the high school. At least, she's supposed to be freaking out. She still sounds like she's perfectly coherent and calm. Patch says that throwing herself off of the rafters was a brave thing. No, it's a stupid thing. I refuse to believe that there was no way Nora could have trapped Jules or escaped before then. Patch comes into the room and shuts the door behind him. Nora notes that "I knew it was his way of trying to lock out all the bad". HOW. HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT. HE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING BEFORE TO INDICATE THAT HE DOES THINGS LIKE THAT. AND IF YOU TELL ME THAT IT'S BECAUSE NORA IS SO IN-TUNE TO HIS THOUGHTS AND MIND, I WILL SAY "BULLSHIT".
I am not happy, in case it's not apparent. And I continue to stay in this rotten mood, because Fitzpatrick is quite determined to test me. Because Patch explains why Nora survived and what happened to Jules
"'When you jumped, the sacrifice killed Jules. Technically, when you came back, he should have too. But since he didn't have a soul, he had nothing to revive his body.'
'I came back?' I said, hoping I wasn't filling myself with false hope.
'I didn't accept your sacrifice. I turned it down'"
ZeldaQueen: Jesus Christ.
First, let us examine the beginning part of that excerpt. Okay, so Nora kills herself in Patch's name (*gags*) and he refuses that sacrifice, so she...comes back to life. Right. Fitzpatrick?
HOW DOES THAT WORK???
Good lord, how? Fitzpatrick, do you have any idea what happens to a body that has died from falling from a great height? The organs are splattered and most likely causing internal bleeding! Bones are broken! Depending on how Nora landed, her spine could be broken! (Although possibly she dodged that one, seeing as she doesn't have a spine to begin with. *rim shot*) The average size of a high school gyme is 100' x 60'. The rafters wouldn't be right at the ceiling, so let's say that they're ten feet below (I honestly can't find anything on standard rafter placement, so if I'm off, please correct me). That means that Nora would have tossed herself fifty feet to the ground. So let's say that Patch turning down her sacrifice puts her soul back in her body. Fine. Shouldn't she die all over again? Her organs are still bleeding. Her bones are still shattered. Her brain is most likely damaged to some extent (or at least moreso than it already was. *rim shot*), given that it probably hit the ground with pretty serious force. Even if, by some divine ruling, she didn't die all over again, she ought to be suffering from more than the vague aches she had upon waking up. You feel sore all over, Nora? Try being never able to properly walk again. Or needing surgery or a blood donation. Which a hospital could readily supply you with, if your boyfriend had left you for professional medical care. But no, Nora's able to be up and on her feet minutes after she wakes up. What, are we supposed to believe that getting re-souled miraculously healed all of her? If that's the case, why is she still sore? HOW DOES THIS WORK?
Now, let us look at the part about Jules. So he didn't have a soul, did he? That's news to me. I'm dead serious here, ladies and gentlemen, not once before now was there any indication that Jules or Nephilim in general were soulless. Nothing was even on that stupid website Nora visited. And no, I will not buy "it's in the Biblical text" as an excuse because guess what? Fitzpatrick lost the right to play that card when she decided to hack apart the story to suit her own wants. If she wanted to set up for a loophole, she should have left some hint of some sort of a hint, and that goes for the re-souling of Nora. In fact, let's look at the difference between what she should have done and what she did, using Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
Chekhov's Gun - It's mentioned that Phoenix tears have very strong healing powers and that they can carry immensely heavy loads. At the end of the book, Fawkes the Phoenix uses his tears to cure Harry of the Basilisk venom and carries him, Ron, Ginny, and Lockhart out of the chamber.
Asspull - Dumbledore simply says that Fawkes is a phoenix and says nothing more about it. When Fawkes cries on Harry's wound and carries everyone out of the chamber, Dumbledore only then says "Oh yeah, phoenix tears are totally a cure-all and they're very strong. Cool, huh?"
Do you see the difference?
Nora instantly goes all ga-ga over this proclamation, not because she just rose from the dead, but because oh look, Patch didn't take the opportunity to get his human body! In other words, Nora is amazed that Patch did not take advantage of his girlfriend's death to get what he wants.
Yeah, I reeeeeally don't think Fitzpatrick thinks about what she's writing.
Patch tells her that a human body is no good without her around. And yes, I'm sure I'm supposed to sigh and think that's the most romantic thing ever, but I don't. For starters, given the rapist overtones Patch has given and how he only ever wants to grope Nora or kiss her and makes it clear that he's very interested in her body, all I can hear him saying is "Why would I want a human body if I can't molest you with it?" Not to mention that it doesn't make Patch look noble, it makes Nora look stupid. We're supposed to believe that those two are in True and Deep love. If that's taken to be true (just...go with it) and Patch is given a choice between a human body and the girl he loves, for the love of fuck why does Nora think he'd let her die to get what he wants? That's like if I threw myself in front of a car and then was surprised that my family took me to the hospital instead of letting me die to collect on my life insurance.
Although I must say, I'm very confused as to why Patch didn't get his human body. Nora died and Jules died with her. That's all the conditions that needed to be fulfilled. There was nothing mentioned before about Patch having to accept any sacrifice, just that Nora had to do it willingly, which she did. So why does Patch not have a human body?
Oh right. Drama. Of course. That, and we need to pad for more sequels.
Patch takes Nora's hand and starts kissing her knuckles, which Nora says are all painful and sore as a result of punching Jules. Granted I'm not familiar with punching, but given how Nora's hands are decidedly unused to fighting and Patch still used them to strike Jules with enough force to knock him over, shouldn't her knuckles be broken, or at least pretty damaged? Either way, they're hurting and Patch is going right ahead and grabbing then and kissing them. Great job buddy, I'm sure that'll make them heal up splendidly. Why don't you just do a jig on her pelvis while you're at it?
Also, we're told that her hand was bandaged which, besides implying that Patch is being all grabby with at least moderately injured body parts, makes it even stupider that Nora is not in a hospital. Clearly she does have injuries, because someone (Patch) bandaged her up, yet SHE'S JUST FEELING MILDLY ACHY FROM JUMPING TO HER DEATH??? JESUS CHRIST!
I will make it. I will.
Nora starts to cry over Patch's horrific sacrifice (*rolls eyes*) and Patch clutches her to his chest, which conveniently does not cause her any pain at all, even though we were just told how it hurt too much for her to even sit up in bed. It then crosses Nora's tiny mind that oh yeah, Patch saved a human, so he's a guardian angel now! Imagine that! She has him pull up his shirt so she can see his back (and I'm sure Fitzpatrick and the fans started panting over this) and sees that the scars are gone. He explains that she can't see his wings because they are made of "spiritual matter". *raises eyebrows* "Matter"? Seriously? What next, are we going to get a biological explanation as to how angels work?
Nora is all delighted and Patch has great news for her. He gets to be her guardian angel! What fun! Her stalker and rapist gets to be her bodyguard! Isn't that fan-fucking-tastic! It's even better when he describes his job as "Guard your body" and adds that "I take my job seriously, which means I'm going to need to get acquainted with the subject matter on
a personal level". And no, dear viewers, we're not supposed to read that like a serial killer who has tied his latest victim to a bed before he disects her.
So Nora gets all fluttery in the stomach and asks if Patch can feel things again. Why would he? No angels can feel anything, I thought! Patch tells her he can't, but that he's not "blacklisted" anymore. You know, I'm definitely convinced by now that the angels running the show are morons. Clearly they haven't paid the slightest bit of attention to Patch's behavior, because they'd see how inappropriate his actions towards Nora have been. Even if we ignore the blatant abuse, it's still clear that he's lusting after her something terrible, and it was made more than obvious that THAT IS NOT ALLOWED. That was what he was chucked out of Heaven for, and they'd just be fine with him serving as guardian angel while he says things like the quote above? And no, there is no law that says that the angel gets to be guardian of whoever gets saved, because the sequel has Patch temporarily switching to a different person to guard over.
Reality decides to intervene when Nora hears the garage door open and realizes that her mother is coming home. Apparently she has only just now gotten home. Nora asks if she's the only one who can see Patch, and he gives her a patronizing look for not knowing that he's visible to everyone. Dude, she just found out you were a guardian angel! How should she know that? Although I do have to agree that it's stupid when she forgets that an angel with wings can just fly out the window. Nora tells Patch to get out, because her mother will be horrified if she finds him in the bedroom with her. Personally, I'd think her mother would be horrified to find the house in shambles and partially burnt down, but that's just me.
Patch heads out the window, but not before telling her that the police and firemen had already visited the house and stopped the fire before it spread beyond the master bedroom. So wait. The police and firemen get a panicked call about someone breaking in and setting a house on fire, they come in to find signs of a struggle (including an exploded bannister) and a fire in one of the rooms, can't find the person who made the call, and just leave the house empty? They're not at least keeping people just outside of the house, in case Nora came home? They're not documenting things in the house? What, did Fitzpatrick think that the firemen and the police showed up, put out the fire, and went on a coffee break until Nora came back?
*tugs at hair* Apparently they did, because Nora's mother comes in and says that there's police tape outside, what happened? Fitzpatrick, do you realize that if the police visited and found the house in the state Nora left it in, they would station people outside? And that said officers stationed outside would, in all certainty, either detain Nora's mother for questioning or accompany her inside? The police don't just put up tape and then wander off! GAH!
Patch tells Nora that he doesn't care what her cover story is, but he'd appreciate it if she didn't tell about his involvement. That shouldn't be too hard Patch, considering that you did fuck-all to contribute to the climax. He also says that the Vee called the police in time and that the paramedicts found Elliot in time to save his life. Keep all of this in mind for a bit.
A moment later, Nora's mother turns on the lights and then shouts about the bannister. I would think that a person could tell if their banister had been blown to bits before turning on the lights, but that's just me. Nora's mother is very upset, or at least we're supposed to assume she is. The way she's acting, it sounds like she's mildly irritated that Nora tracked mud all over the carpet. Perhaps it's because she came in to find police tape around her house and the bannister smashed and then she just disappears from the story long enough for Nora to call Vee.
Oh yeah, because that's what Nora decides to do now. The police are around and will certainly want her testimony, she has to get her cover story sorted out, and her mother is presumably worried about her. So of course now is the best time to call Vee! Because Nora just is trying to ignore all of the bad things
"The sky was a perfect, rinsed blue. The sun was just starting to fan out across the horizon. It was Monday, a brand-new day, the horrors of the past twenty-four hours far behind. I had five hours of sleep under my belt, and other than the all-over body pain that came from being suckedinto death, then spat back out, I felt remarkably refreshed. I didn't want to hang a black cloud over the moment by reminding myself that the police were expected to arrive any minute to take my statement on the night's events. I still hadn't made up my mind what I was going to tell them"
ZeldaQueen: Nora. You did not flunk a math exam. You did not crash your mothers car. YOU WERE HELD HOSTAGE AND ATTACKED AND HAD A GUN POINTED TO YOUR HEAD. AND YOU THINK THE BEST THING TO DO IS JUST TRY TO IGNORE IT AND HOPE THAT IT WILL ALL JUST GO AWAY WITHOUT ANY EFFORT FROM YOU?
Yes. Yes she does. Although I suppose we should not be surprised. Fitzpatrick has written these people as being so unbelievably stupid that it does go away without any effort from her.
*throws up hands* This is ridiculous!
No, wait, not only does she have time for a phone call, she has time to go into the bathroon, change from her nightgown into clothes, and go back to her bedroom. Meaning that her mother probably heard her walking around upstairs and still isn't trying to find her or say anything. What's her mother doing, anyway? Did she just leave reality for a half an hour or so?
Also, there's a charming bit where Nora pretty much admits that Patch changed her out of the clothes she had been wearing when she jumped and into her nightgown. Ignoring the question of how he managed to do that without making her injuries even worse, the guy who has been stalking her and dominating her and generally being a horrible creeper took off her clothes while she was unconscious. For no reason. Seriously, Nora could have been just as comfortable in her clothes from earlier. It's not like they were ripped up or soaking wet or anything.
As you can probably tell, I'm pretty much to worn down by now for any ranting. It's just the same squick as before, thrown in there because Fitzpatrick wants to titter about how sexy it is that Patch took off her clothes while she was unconscious. If you can't see why that's messed up, I'm not going to get through to you.
So finally Nora calls Vee. Now keep in mind, when Nora and Vee last parted, Nora was left in the school with Jules clearly trying to kill her. Vee has not seen Nora since, has no idea what happened to her, and (we'll see in a minute) just found out that Jules is dead. So of course when she answers the phone, she acts like she and Nora had just escaped being caught by the police at a party with underage drinking. I'm serious. She does not sound the least bit worried for Nora's wellbeing. I suspect that Fitzpatrick was trying to make her sound ashamed of being the cause of the situation, but it still is stupid.
Vee says that she was given a call in the middle of the night about how Nora had been beaten up by Jules and was alright. Vee apparently buys this completely, even though she later admits that she thinks that Patch killed Jules. In other words, she not only believes the word of a guy she thinks is capable of murder, but she's perfectly fine with her best friend being left in his care.
ZeldaQueen: Also, please allow me to pause and try to figure out exactly how the fuck this timeline works. This all happened late last night. Apparently Nora's mother was stuck wherever she was for two days (both the day and night Nora went to Portland and ended up in the motel and the day and night she fought Dabria and Jules). At some point last night, the police received a phone call from Nora about how an insane person was trying to burn down the house and kill her. A few hours later, the police also got a call from Vee which probably went along the lines of "there's an insane person who broke into the high school and is trying to kill someone". They find Jules dead and no one at the burnt-down home (while we never learn exactly what Vee tells the police, she presumably didn't give Nora's name, because no one ever connects her to the death of Jules).
Now, it just might be me, but if I were the Coldwater police department, I'd hear that there was a call for a break-in and arson and a call not too long after for an attempted murder and I'd think it could be possible that there's some connection between the two events. And yet, we're still supposed to believe that the police aren't scouring the town for Nora!
GOD. Fitzpatrick, why do you insult my intelligence and the intelligence of your fans? It's a great disservice, you know!
So Vee gives us exactly what Patch told her
"He called from the Jeep. He said you were asleep in the back-seat and he was driving you home. He said he just happened to be driving past the high school when he heard a scream. He said he found you in the gym, but that you'd fainted from pain. The next thing he knew, he looked up and saw Jules jump off the rafter. He said Jules must have snapped, a side effect from all the burdensome guilt he felt over terrorizing you"
ZeldaQueen: I suspect that Vee has left her brain on standby again, as well as forgotten her deep suspicion of Patch. Because quite frankly, the excuse of "I happened to be driving by the high school and just by complete coincidence heard your best friend screaming from inside" sounds rather shady, not to mention nonsensical. High schools are big, or at least this one is, if it's built like a God-damned cathedral. Nora was in the gym, which apparently is not near any doors to the outside (and if there are, I'm going to ask very loudly why she didn't escape through them). I realize that there are often roads right by some high schools to make it more convenient to drop off and pick up students, but I would like to remind the jury that Patch, living up to his Bad Boy image, rarely even visits the school when he's supposed to be attending. Why the heck would he just happen to be driving around a pick up/drop off area of the high school around the middle of the night, then? And if he was driving down a main road, am I seriously to believe that he heard one person, from the bowels of the high school, screaming?
Given how unlikely both events are, and given how Vee thinks Patch is capable of murder, a sane person would put two and two together and think that Patch did a number on Nora. Vee, of course, is not a sane person and thus just ignores it.
Also, I'd think that if Nora had been hurt so much that she fainted from it, that would imply that she was not mildly roughed up (as Vee said Patch told her Nora was), nor would it be accurate to say Nora was asleep. Unconscious and asleep are not the same thing, and unconscious is something that is possibly something that a doctor might need to examine, especially if it's unconsciousness from being beaten up.
Also-also, Vee sounds remarkably collected, for someone who learned that she was dating a guy who was stalking and terrorizing her best friend after all of this time.
Nora reacts to hearing this story with "Obviously, Patch had manipulated a few details". No shit, Sherlock. Although I'd say it's more accurate to say he flat-out lied. In any case, why didn't Patch tell Nora about this cover story of his? He told her to make up anything, but he wasn't worried that she'd say something that would contradict him? Cheese and crackers, these people are stupid! Also, when Vee makes it clear that she thinks Patch murdered Jules, Nora comments that "In Vee's position, I'd probably think similarly". I'd hope so, given that Patch really was fine with murdering Jules! Nora, baby, have you forgotten that his main road to being human involved MURDERING JULES?
Christ. This...this is so stupid! And it never ends! IT. NEVER. ENDS.
Nora asks what the police are saying about the case, and apparently it's all over the news and has been reported as a suicide. You know, this being such big news really makes me wonder even more why the police aren't speculating about connections between Nora calling for help against Dabria and Jules dying. I'd imagine that if a suicide caused such a stir, a person coming into a house, attempting murder, and burning down a room would get just as much attention.
Oh, and this is just great. Apparently Vee was worried about being arrested for breaking into the high school, so she found a pay phone and tipped off the police anonymously. In other words, she knew that Nora was trapped in the school and probably was going to be tortured or murdered, and she wasted time searching for a pay phone (seriously Fitzpatrick, how many of those are around?) just to cover her own ass. Truly, Vee is a great friend.
And no, Nora does not point that out. Instead, she goes with the suicide story, saying that if that's what the police have ruled, who is she to say otherwise? After all, "this is modern-day America We have the benefit of forensics".
Yes hun, yes you do. And would you like to know a few of the things that the police would figure out, thanks to those modern-day forensics?
- That Jules does not have a birth certificate or any forms of ID or, if he does, that they would be forged
- That Jules does not have family living nearby (or living at all for that matter), that his entire story about them being away on business was a complete fabrication, and almost certainly that the house he lives in is owned by him
- That any previous schools or places Jules would have stayed at would be just more lies, or at least lead to more lies eventually, seeing as his real place of origin is France, several centuries back
- That at least one other person had most likely been in the high school with Jules, or else he stabbed himself in the leg with a scalpel. Given forensic techniques, I'd imagine that the wound could tell how it was stabbed, and how long ago it was stabbed
- Oh yeah, that NORA'S FINGERPRINTS ARE ON JULES'S NECK, BECAUSE PATCH STRANGLED JULES WHILE IN NORA'S BODY
And I'm sure I missed a number of things. Have fun spotting the plot holes, folks. There's plenty to go around!
There's a brief bit where Vee demands to know everything an Nora sins her ass off about how she hates hiding things from Vee, but must because of the whole fallen angel bit. Vee apologizes for being such a dumbass, and it's far too little, far too late. Vee also proclaims that they need to go shoe shopping, because clearly that's a great way to get past being held hostage and in danger of being killed. Given how the book jacket says that shoe shopping is one of Fitzpatrick's favorite pasttimes, I also smell author appeal.
At this point, the doorbell rings and the police come in now, of all times. How convenient. I've already ranted about how this doesn't make sense, and I'm very tired, so I'll just move on. Vee instantly freaks out when Nora says that she has to go give a statement, because Vee's worried that Nora will tell about the breaking in and entering. So she'd rather Nora risk getting in serious trouble with the police for lying. Lovely. But no, this is apparently about Dabria's breaking in and arson from before. Not sure how Nora is so confident that that's why they're there intead of entertaining the notion that the police are curious if she was involved with the Jules thing, but whatever.
So Nora goes downstairs, and finds that her mother has materialized into the story again and is letting the police in. Seriously, what was she doing that entire time? If my mother came home and found police tape and a broken bannister, she'd be all over the house trying to find me, if only for an explanation! Anyway, in come our favorite cops, Detectives Basso and Holstijic. Joy. You know, as stupid as the House of Night series is, at least the Cast ladies wrote in a police officer that was likable and competent. So now, besides out-failing Stephenie Meyer, Fitzpatrick has out-failed PC and Kristin Cast. Wow.
The detectives come in, and Detective Basso makes a comment about how often he's been running into Nora as of late. Nora's mother is confused, as this is the first she's heard of any of this. Yeah, remember how Basso had asked for Nora to get him into contact with her mother? Apparently that was optional. No Fitzpatrick, it doesn't work like that. I don't care what sort of a crazy world you've written, even if the police didn't contact Nora's mother directly after they'd been called about the intruder, they would have done so after the Marcie Millar incident.
Nora brushes the comment off as cop humor, and I would dearly love to have seen Detective Basso rat her out on not getting them into contact with her mother like they asked. Instead, they just drop it (including Nora's mother, who by now I think it's safe to say is possibly the most clueless twit on the face of the Earth) and ask Nora what happened with Dabria. Nora gives a shorthand account - that Dabria just came into the house, said Nora had something she wanted, and tried to kill her. Nora hid in the chimney flue upstairs, and Dabria set the master bedroom on fire.
Detective Basso for once actually acts like a police officer and starts asking relevent questions, like what exactly Dabria had wanted of Nora's. Nora insists that Dabria never said, and tries to pass the whole thing off as her being insane. Incidentally, no one ever questions how Dabria blew up a bannister.
Basso comments on how crazy this all is (word to that, buddy) and Nora's mother is all meek and asks if her daughter is safe. Incidentally, she never really follows up at all after learning that her daughter was nearly murdered. There's no investigation of the high school, no additional interviews with the police, she doesn't even try to get Nora back into therapy, nothing. Basso makes one more intelligent comment and says that they ought to install a security system. He gives Nora's mother a business card and says he vouches for those people. Hoooooooooo boy, just wait on that, shall we?
We get an Airhead jump to a few hours later, when the people from the security system show up. Nora's mother makes it clear that she can't sleep soundly until Dabria is caught, which begs the question of why Nora didn't just tell her earlier about everything going on. Here we see that her mother has found out about Nora being in danger and isn't planning on moving. Also, Nora's mother briefly comments on how stupid the school was to hire someone so obviously unbalanced. Of course, she doesn't care enough to transfer Nora to another school, or have her carry pepper spray around or anything.
Anywho, Nora's mother answers the door and there's...Patch. Dressed in a white t-shirt and Levis, for fan-wanking purposes. Nora's mother is all uneasy at this, and asks if he's here to visit Nora. And...Christ. You people have got to see this
"'Patch.' I couldn't quite nail my mom's tone. Surprise mixed with discomfiture. 'Are you here to see Nora?'
Patch smiled. 'I'm here to spec your house for a new alarm system.'
'I thought you had a different job,' said Mom. 'I thought you bussed tables at the Borderline.'
'I got a new job.'"
ZeldaQueen: Hey guys, remember that great spitefic gehayi wrote for Chapter Twenty-two? It was a really cool one which, besides giving Nora a ton of agency, also gave good information on how Nora should have responded to Patch's "advances". One of those bits of advice was for the Gray family to change their locks and make sure that Patch was in no way affiliated with or working for the company they hired to do so.
Evidently Fitzpatrick decided to kick that bit of common sense in the balls, along with every other one she's stomped over in relation to dealing with abuse and abusive boyfriends. Because that right there? It pretty much says that Nora's abusive boyfriend will know every little detail about her home security system, and thus can break into her house whenever he wants, or tell other people how to break into her house.
Of course, there's the other side of fail, namely the fact that Patch is installing security systems! So far as I recall, he never keeps this job in any of the sequels. So that means that the security system company hired a high school kid whose main qualifications are as a busboy, who probably has very few if any references or letters of recommendation, and who most likely lied when they asked him questions like "Do you plan to stay with this company long-term?", given that I find it impossible to believe they hired him if he said "No, I just want to get in good with my girlfriend, before going back to making a living playing pool and gambling".
And then, there's the issue of time, namely how the fuck long has he been working there? A few weeks? Fitzpatrick, it was not so long ago that you had him bussing tables. And no, he didn't say he was holding both jobs at once, he said that it was a new job, implying that he quit his old one. Fitzpatrick, do you have any idea how the application process for jobs like that are? This is not some fast-food job, where they know Patch can be taught quickly what to do and are used to hiring employees and seeing them go on a dime. Installing security systems is something taken a good bit more seriously because YOU'RE DEALING WITH A CUSTOMER'S SECURITY! Imagine how stupid the company would look if it came out that they hired an idiot who installed a bunch of systems wrong and their customers were robbed or had their homes broken into! Not to mention that even if Patch did somehow procure recommendations and references to convince the company that he already had the proper training towards that sort of thing (and knowing Patch, he probably just mindraped them into thinking he did), he still shouldn't know how to do it, which means that not only is Nora's abusive boyfriend given extensive knowledge of her security system, he's probably not going to install it correctly.
And I'm sure that if I pointed out all of the above to one of the fans, they'd tell me that it doesn't matter, because Patch is Nora's guardian angel and he can look after her better than a modern security system can. Ignoring the fact that, as we'll see in the sequels, Patch does a terrible job as her guardian angel, that's still not a good thing. Because yet again, FITZPATRICK HAS WRITTEN IT THAT NORA IS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DEPENDANT ON HER ASSHOLE, ABUSIVE, RAPIST BOYFRIEND FOR PROTECTION, BECAUSE OF HIS DIRECT MEDDLING!
HAPPY THOUGHTS, ZELDAQUEEN. HAPPY THOUGHTS. WE'RE NEARLY DONE.
*deep breathing*
So Patch wanders out to his car to get his stuff, and not once does Nora's mother question the reputation of a company that sends a high school student for such an important and delicate job. Nora follows Patch outside and insists that he owes her some answers. *tiredly* Didn't we already go through this? Like, five times? Patch, of course, ignores this and makes it clear via his despicable mindrape that he's horny and wants to get it on with her. So predictably they make out, which of course is creepy, because we're told that when Patch shoves the word "Kiss" into Nora's head, "It wasn't a question, but a warning. He grinned when I didn't protest, and lowered his mouth toward mine."
God, I'm worn down.
So they make out, and life is completely fantastic, so long as you ignore the fact that Nora's home is partially burnt down, Dabria's out there plotting revenge, and Nora is going to be surveyed at all times by and is rewarded by getting to date her abusive stalker (Pamela: Or Virtue Rewarded, anyone?)
And...that's it! *happy dance* Well, that's it for the story itself, anyway. Stick around for the extra stuff, and then the Final Assessment. There shall be words for this book, believe you me!
Onward to: Acknowledgements
Back to: Chapter 29
Return to: Table of Contents