My Inner Life: Chapter 14 - The Final Fight
ZeldaQueen: Well everyone, this is it - the big show down with Dark Link. Plus, there's only four more chapters until this thing is done!
Link: Thank the goddesses!
Ganondorf: Let us begin
Midna: Bring it!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 14: The Final Fight
The Final Fight
ZeldaQueen: *sings* It's the final count down!
I charged forward, crying into the chilling air as I prepared to strike.
Link: I'm crying too, though for different reasons I expect
Lunging, my weapon clashed with his,
Midna: Huh, I didn't think female humans had those parts
ZeldaQueen: GAH!
Ganondorf: Do...not...want!
Link: *claws at eyeballs to remove image*
causing a crash of metal and a shower of sparks.
ZeldaQueen: You know it's really hard to make weapons send out sparks, don't you? Given how grossly inaccurate everything else in this fic's been though, Hollywood special effects are the least of the concerns, I know. Just saying...
Pushing forward, our weapons met again,
Link: STOP USING THAT PHRASE!
as a shower of sparks rained from our rage.
Midna: Poetry in motion, this
I backed up again, raising my weapon for another assault. We moved in a circle, each waiting for the other to attack. Then I took my chances and lunged again. This time my weapon connected, cutting his black tunic, leaving a gash across his chest. Looking down at his crimson soaked wound, he sneered then flew at me, sword raised. I ducked, raising my weapon in defense.
ZeldaQueen: She's basically copying how Link fights enemies that he's Z targeted. Seriously. For those who don't know what it looks like when Link fights an enemy, this is him fighting Dark Link in the game
Link: Now that is some fine fighting
Ganondorf: Indeed
Our blades connected again, sending another shower of sparks into the air. The sound or our weapons clashing filled the room, as the water rushed around our shuffling feet. He again tried to push forward, causing me to block in defense. Backing up again I moved with him, trying to anticipate his next attack. And I felt him surround me. His taunting laugh causing the rage inside me to flourish.
Midna: I love how she's able to hold her own here just fine despite the fact that she was a merchant with presumably very little training, yet Link, Hero of Time and seasoned fighter, has spent this entire fight chained to the wall
ZeldaQueen: She's a Mary Sue. Not even her beloved "husband" is safe from her entitlement
Then I felt Link calling to me in my mind,
Link: It was long distance
Ganondorf: Ah, but would she accept the charges?
heard him telling me what to do.
ZeldaQueen: Lovely. Even when she's taking over, she still needs the Big Man to tell her what to do
But because of the fiery rage that was running threw me,
All: "THROUGH"!
his voice sounded muffled and distant.
Ganondorf: (Link) "Let me out of this story!"
As the evil being moved around me, I felt the chilling air he was generating move across my skin.
ZeldaQueen: But was it chilly? PDORD Count = 59
I eyed his every move, waiting for the right moment to strike. His blood red eyes watched me, the flames of a fire seemed to flicker in them. His weapon moved with such grace and his moves like that of a striking tiger.
ZeldaQueen: Given how she keeps going on about how much he looks like Link, I'm surprised she's not proposing a threesome
Link: What is it with that Sue and tigers?
Ganondorf: Which was behind the door? The Sue or the tiger?
Though I waited, waited for the right moment.
ZeldaQueen: PDORD Count = 60
"Well aren't you going to attack, or are you afraid?" Dark Link snickered as his hand gestured for me to come forth.
Ganondorf: Alas, mediocre villain, you are going to fall prey to one of the classic evildoer blunders. That is why I simply kill my enemies, as opposed to taunting them
"Afraid of you!? Your
All: APOSTROPHE-R-E!
more of a fool then I thought. You surprise me Dark Link. I thought you said you were going to show me just how rough you can play." A small smile crossed my face as I saw the burning rage twist Dark Link's face.
Link: Yes Jenna, just taunt him. That'll work well
ZeldaQueen: Seriously, her husband keeps going on about how evil this thing is, she is all "oh woe, we will die!" and now she's mocking him. Un-be-freaking-lievable
"Be careful of what you wish for. Cause you might just GET IT!" Dark Link's face twisted into a vicious smile as he lunged forward again.
ZeldaQueen: And that right there sounded like something one of Stephenie Meyer's villains would say
Link: Goddesses...
Raising my weapon again, I prepared to defend myself. A sudden flash of metal blazed as my weapon met his. Using all my strength, I fought to push his sword back. My wrists started to buckle under the immense power that Dark Link was putting into his sword, as he tried to pin me under it. I felt my heart starting to beat faster, felt sweat beading my face. I continued to push forward, forcing my all into my only hope, my Phoenix Circles.
Ganondorf: Her strength soon failed and she died painfully. All was well
"Your weak Jenna.
Midna: Jenna's weak what?
Link: On three now. One...two...three...
All: APOSTROPHE-R-E!!!
Why don't you just surrender to me and I will go easy on you. The hope your holding onto is not going to save you now." Dark Link said bitterly, thrusting his sword forward, pushing it closer to my throat.
Ganondorf: Ah yes, as it is quite obvious that one is usually quite willing to surrender to an evil being who had just threatened to rape and murder her
Midna: I'd like to think that not even she is that stupid
"You infidel! I will never concede to the likes of you!" I spat, my eyes narrowing.
ZeldaQueen: "Infidel"? She doubts a particular doctrine or principle?
"Then die
All: COMMA!
bitch!"
With a swift move of his sword, Dark Link knocked my Phoenix Circles out of my hands, sending them flying across the room. With a gasp, I backed up only to be met by a swift kick to my legs, sending me crashing to the floor and sending a spray of water into the air. I watched as the twisted figure of Link loomed over me, sword pointed at my throat. With another sinister laugh, he grabbed me by the tunic and threw me across the room, sending me flying across the water and into the twisted tree. With a loud thud, I fell to the ground, stunned and hurt. Trying to shake off the pain I was now feeling, I opened my eyes only to see Dark Link, advancing on his counter part.
ZeldaQueen: I know I'm supposed to be feeling utterly terrified for them right now, but I don't care
Midna: If anything, I'm happy that those two jellyworms are going to die
With one last look back at me, his blood red eyes flickered with and evil glow as a sinister smile crossed his face.
Ganondorf: Ah yes, instead of simply finishing her off when he has every chance, he will leave her lying on the ground, seemingly helpless, so he may go to kill her husband and thus give her an opportunity to kill him
"Nothing is going to save both of you now." His chilling laugh filled the room again, causing it to ring in my ears.
Link: Well this doesn't sound like lame foreshadowing
Dazed, I looked around the room and saw my Phoenix Circles just a few feet from where I sat. I tried to get up, but my leg was hurt badly, so I fell back down.
ZeldaQueen: C'mon, what happened to those cat-reflexes from before?
Trying to drag myself, I got with in arms length of them, when a sudden flash of metal knocked my weapons further away. I looked up and saw Dark Link standing over me. "Ah…ah…ah…I cannot have you retrieve your weapons now can I?" He said in a sinister laugh as he waved a finger in front of him.
ZeldaQueen: MOTHER OF GOD, this guy is cheesy!
"Now get back to where you were!" He said as his foot connected me in the jaw, causing me to fly back into the twisted tree. "Now stay put this time, I will be back for you shortly!" He screeched as he turned and strode back towards Link.
ZeldaQueen: Wait, I think I figured out who this guy reminds me of
ZeldaQueen: I'd like to see the Great Leslie try that!
Lying there I felt my whole world starting to fall upon me. Its hopeless." I thought to myself
Link: You forgot to start your quotes there. And an apostrophe. Seriously, proofreading shouldn't be this difficult
as I huddled against the evil looking tree.
Link: For some reason, I find that description hilarious
Midna: Ohhh, watch out for the tree! It's an evil tree!
"I failed miserably. I failed Link. My son, Link Jr. What have I done Its all over now, I failed them both." Burying my head in my hands, I started to cry. I felt as if I betrayed both Link and our son. Now our son will be orphaned, Link and I prisoners to this twisted evil being.
ZeldaQueen: Right, translation of the above - "BLAH!!! WANGSTWANGSTWANGST! I JUST SCREWED UP AND FAILED AND CONDEMNED OUR SON TO DEATH, DESPITE THE FACT THAT IT WAS ALL MY IDEA TO COME HERE WITH LINK IN THE FIRST PLACE, EVEN THOUGH I REALLY HAD NO EXPERIENCE OR FIGHTING SKILLS! AND IT'S NOT LIKE OUR SON WILL PROBABLY BE ADOPTED BY ZELDA OR THE KING OR ANYTHING, NOPE HE'S JUST GOING TO STARVE TO DEATH! I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE LEAVING FOR THIS STUPID VENTURE! I'LL JUST LIE HERE AND ANGST A LOT INSTEAD OF TRYING TO SAVE MYSELF AND LINK!"
As I thought there was no hope left, I heard a distant voice call out to me in my mind.
Midna: Poor girl, the strain of this all is making her mind go
Link: Um no, that's just one of her Sue-per powers
Midna: Oh. You poor guy
Suddenly the void opened up and a flame rose in my mind.
Ganondorf: That sentence made no sense
ZeldaQueen: That's probably for the best for you
the connection between Link and I was established, he called out to me. I floated in the emptiness, moved towards the flame. I saw Link's image dance within its red glow, as his voice called out from it. "Jenna my love, you cannot give up, you cannot give in."
ZeldaQueen: Never give up, never surrender!
"But he is just too strong, what can I do?" I said to him telepathically.
Link: You should of thought of that before you came here, you dumb bint!
"My love, search for the strength within. Look into your heart and there will you find the answer."
ZeldaQueen: Use the force, Luke!
Then the void shattered around me, causing the flame to flicker out and our connection to break.
ZeldaQueen: And get ready for it folks. Jenna's going to add another Sue title to her repertoire
Suddenly I felt something hot surge threw me.
All: "THROUGH"!
It raced threw my bones, raced threw my every vein, radiating to the very center of my being. My skin felt like it was burning, as if I was in a fire and the blood within me felt like it was boiling.
Link: Damn it, Sue! Now's not the time to be horny!
A sudden burst of pain shot threw
All: "THROUGH"!
me bringing me to my knees, my screams filing into the air.
Midna: Love this! *cackles*
I felt my hands starting to burn, and as I looked down at them, flames were dancing on the palms of my hands.
ZeldaQueen: Aaaaand, new Sue power acquired!
I screeched as the flames rose into mini fires, its heat making sweat bead my face. The heat inside my body surged towards my hands, fueling the fires. And I felt a wave of blinding heat surround me, as my eyes watered. As the fires raged threw me, I felt something within me snap. Instincts of a pure fiery rage burst threw me, as an unknown fiery wind lifted me up surrounding my within its flames. My hair whipped around my shoulders and my dress whipped around my ankles as a scorching wind started to fill the room.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, we get it, you're on fire, flame on, DO SOMETHING!
Ganondorf: I had many flame-monsters under my command. I fail to see how this is so unusual
Standing inside the mists of a hellish burning blaze
Link: There's no hell in Hyrule!
my eyes narrowed as Dark Link suddenly realized what was going on.
Link: (Dark Link) "Oh shIt, she's a Sue! RUN!!!"
Just as his hooded head slowly turned to face the fiery hell
Link: Stop using that word!
that was looming over him, my hands rose as tunnels of fire shot out, snaking towards Dark Link with a burning vengeance. When the fiery hell connected with him, his twisted cries tore into the air as the fires engulfed him. As I moved forward, the air begun to fill with a crackling sound as lightning danced across the ceiling. The water in the room began to surge, creating a rushing of waves as the water pounded the walls. Then the ground started shaking, causing cracks to appear on the walls and small crevasses to open in the floor.
ZeldaQueen: Blah, blah, blah, you've got a new and uber-special power and you're singlehandedly saving the day with it, despite the fact that Link already had Din's Fire
I watched as Dark Link's sneer shone threw the hell that engulfed him.
Midna: What in the name of Twilight was that supposed to mean?
Ganondorf: I believe it meant to read, "I watched as Dark Link's sneer shone through"
Link: Because Dark Link is always sneering. Because he's evil.
ZeldaQueen: I know. PDORD Count = 61
He dropped into the swelling waters, dousing the fire, causing heated steam and smoke to rise from his charred clothes.
ZeldaQueen: Erm, there's not that much water. He'd have to roll all around, which would look pretty silly
"You wretched bitch! I should have killed you!" He cursed, as he rose from the water, his face twisting into a devilish sneer.
Ganondorf: Well of course you ought to have, you fool! Any of us could have told you that!
ZeldaQueen: I don't think the Suethor knows what sneering is. Either that, or Dark Link is really stupid. I mean seriously, she just spontaneously combusted and set him on fire and he's still sneering?
"You're right, you should have killed me when you had the chance. You're a fool, now its time to die you evil beast!" Raising my hands into the air, I summoned my powers and combined them into a fiery hell as it descended upon the shadowy evil while lightning and fire reined on him from the sky. The water surged beneath his feet as the floor shook under him, causing him to collapse to the ground. I watched as the Dark Link screamed, trying to fend off the hell that was upon him. But it was useless.
ZeldaQueen: "Hell", "evil", "fire", USE DIFFERENT WORDS!!! PDORD Counter = 66
As the attack continued, I gracefully moved over to him.
Midna: "Gracefully"?
Link: Yes Sue, just keep rubbing in how great you are
Lifting a hand up, I cried into the air, the sound piercing the howling noises cascading threw the room.
Ganondorf: So she is part animal?
ZeldaQueen: Going by the sex scenes, yes. Oh, and...
All: "THROUGH"!
And with all my strength I called upon my new powers combining them all into a gigantic energy ball of pure destruction.
ZeldaQueen: She just discovered them and already has full control. Beautiful. And if any of you are wondering why I'm not all-out ranting yet, just wait until next chapter. That's when we find out why she can generate fire
With a flick of my wrist, the energy ball descended upon the Dark Being, engulfing him. With his last screams of agony, the energy ball imploded taking Dark Link with it. The chair reaction from the explosion sent me flying backwards and into a wall. Lying on the floor in the water, I looked around the shattered room and saw the elements still raging. With my last ounce of strength, I raised my head up high as a blinding white light ascended from my body and filled the room causing all to go calm once more.
Link: Okay, she just effortlessly killed Dark Link, who my fictional counterpart couldn't beat a second time
...I'm really depressed
When I awoke, Link was sitting beside me, holding me in his dusty arms.
ZeldaQueen: Just like a harlequin romance novel cover
Looking up at him, his eternal blue eyes stared deeply into mine. "Your awake my love, oh goddesses I thought I lost you! How are you feeling?" He said as he stroked my arm.
Midna: Sue fawning time!
"Ouch…oh my head hurts." I winced when I tried to move.
Link: Um, why does her head hurt? Her hands were the things on fire!
"Take it easy my love, you landed into a wall." Rubbing my head I felt something cold and wet.
Ganondorf: Why Link, there is a time and a place!
Link: Be quiet!
Lowering my hand I saw blood on my fingers, then the sight of the room caught my eye. "Oh my Goddesses…….what the hell happened here!?" I said in a raspy voice. "You don't remember?" Link questioned. I just shook my head.
ZeldaQueen: Cue the Sue being all helpless again while Link carries her around and sings her praises
"While I was bound to the wall, I watched helplessly as Dark Link sent you crashing into the tree that was there.
Link: AND IT WAS ALL SO VERY PATHETIC!
When you tried to regain your weapon, Dark Link caught you and kicked your weapon away, then kicked you back into the tree.
ZeldaQueen: What did that poor tree ever do to them?
Midna: It looked evil
ZeldaQueen: Ah yes
The next thing I knew, you were standing in the center of the room, your body on fire.
Ganondorf: He appears to be unusually calm about this fact
Then I felt a strong searing wind fill the room as pillars of flame shot out from your hands. The last thing I remember was that all hell broke loose and a strange ball of energy engulfed Dark Link, destroying him. Those haunting screams he let out before he died, I swear I will never forget that."
ZeldaQueen: Right. That gets me really angry and I'll tell you why in one word - ReDeads. You want haunting screams? Listen to these babies (quality isn't so good, sorry)
ZeldaQueen: Adding in the various groans and shrieks that were just floating around in various temples, I call bull
"When I awoke, I was lying on the floor covered with dust and debris.
Link: Because fire somehow magically unchains people
I begun to look around the room for you, and when I found you, you were lying on the floor unconscious and covered in blood. I thought my worst fears came true, I thought I had lost you." I watched as tears welled up in Link's jeweled eyes. He leaned forward and held me close. Closing my eyes I laid my head against his chest, listening to the beating of his heart. I was still over whelmed, by what Link had just told me.
ZeldaQueen: WHAT IS WITH THESE TWO??? They were just kidnapped and tied up by what was supposed to be a total monster, and all Link can think about is how much he doesn't want to lose Jena and all Jenna can think about is how his eyes are "jeweled"! And just for the eyes, PDORD Count = 67
I had no memory of those events.
Ganondorf: As evidenced by the fact that you required Link to remind you of them
"Did I really have control over the elements?" I thought to myself.
ZeldaQueen: Yes
"What really happened here? Did I really cause…..this?"
Midna: Yes
I glanced around the shattered room in disbelief. "How could I have caused such destruction?"
All: BECAUSE YOU'RE A BLOODY SUE!
Lowering my eyes I looked at my hands again. Aside from the blood that was caked on them, I saw nothing on them that could have let me "Shoot Fire" from them.
ZeldaQueen: Those quotes are completely inappropriate and what, did she think she'd see the nozzle of a flamethrower sticking out of her palms?
Link: I'm not entirely sure why her hands are "caked" in blood. If it's her own, then why isn't she showing any signs of blood loss?
With a sigh, I looked back up at Link. "Link my love…can we go home?" With a smile he nodded as we got up and slowly made our way out of the strange mangled room.
ZeldaQueen: Bet you that neither of them are really traumatized by this
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Midna: Well that was gloriously pointless!
Ganondorf: Indeed. Now what will we do for the next four chapters?
ZeldaQueen: Just stick around and find out
Link: Or don't and save your brain cells
Onward to: Chapter 15: A Newfound Power
Back to: Chapter 13: The Encounter
Return to: Table of Content
Link: Thank the goddesses!
Ganondorf: Let us begin
Midna: Bring it!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 14: The Final Fight
The Final Fight
ZeldaQueen: *sings* It's the final count down!
I charged forward, crying into the chilling air as I prepared to strike.
Link: I'm crying too, though for different reasons I expect
Lunging, my weapon clashed with his,
Midna: Huh, I didn't think female humans had those parts
ZeldaQueen: GAH!
Ganondorf: Do...not...want!
Link: *claws at eyeballs to remove image*
causing a crash of metal and a shower of sparks.
ZeldaQueen: You know it's really hard to make weapons send out sparks, don't you? Given how grossly inaccurate everything else in this fic's been though, Hollywood special effects are the least of the concerns, I know. Just saying...
Pushing forward, our weapons met again,
Link: STOP USING THAT PHRASE!
as a shower of sparks rained from our rage.
Midna: Poetry in motion, this
I backed up again, raising my weapon for another assault. We moved in a circle, each waiting for the other to attack. Then I took my chances and lunged again. This time my weapon connected, cutting his black tunic, leaving a gash across his chest. Looking down at his crimson soaked wound, he sneered then flew at me, sword raised. I ducked, raising my weapon in defense.
ZeldaQueen: She's basically copying how Link fights enemies that he's Z targeted. Seriously. For those who don't know what it looks like when Link fights an enemy, this is him fighting Dark Link in the game
Click to viewLink: Now that is some fine fighting
Ganondorf: Indeed
Our blades connected again, sending another shower of sparks into the air. The sound or our weapons clashing filled the room, as the water rushed around our shuffling feet. He again tried to push forward, causing me to block in defense. Backing up again I moved with him, trying to anticipate his next attack. And I felt him surround me. His taunting laugh causing the rage inside me to flourish.
Midna: I love how she's able to hold her own here just fine despite the fact that she was a merchant with presumably very little training, yet Link, Hero of Time and seasoned fighter, has spent this entire fight chained to the wall
ZeldaQueen: She's a Mary Sue. Not even her beloved "husband" is safe from her entitlement
Then I felt Link calling to me in my mind,
Link: It was long distance
Ganondorf: Ah, but would she accept the charges?
heard him telling me what to do.
ZeldaQueen: Lovely. Even when she's taking over, she still needs the Big Man to tell her what to do
But because of the fiery rage that was running threw me,
All: "THROUGH"!
his voice sounded muffled and distant.
Ganondorf: (Link) "Let me out of this story!"
As the evil being moved around me, I felt the chilling air he was generating move across my skin.
ZeldaQueen: But was it chilly? PDORD Count = 59
I eyed his every move, waiting for the right moment to strike. His blood red eyes watched me, the flames of a fire seemed to flicker in them. His weapon moved with such grace and his moves like that of a striking tiger.
ZeldaQueen: Given how she keeps going on about how much he looks like Link, I'm surprised she's not proposing a threesome
Link: What is it with that Sue and tigers?
Ganondorf: Which was behind the door? The Sue or the tiger?
Though I waited, waited for the right moment.
ZeldaQueen: PDORD Count = 60
"Well aren't you going to attack, or are you afraid?" Dark Link snickered as his hand gestured for me to come forth.
Ganondorf: Alas, mediocre villain, you are going to fall prey to one of the classic evildoer blunders. That is why I simply kill my enemies, as opposed to taunting them
"Afraid of you!? Your
All: APOSTROPHE-R-E!
more of a fool then I thought. You surprise me Dark Link. I thought you said you were going to show me just how rough you can play." A small smile crossed my face as I saw the burning rage twist Dark Link's face.
Link: Yes Jenna, just taunt him. That'll work well
ZeldaQueen: Seriously, her husband keeps going on about how evil this thing is, she is all "oh woe, we will die!" and now she's mocking him. Un-be-freaking-lievable
"Be careful of what you wish for. Cause you might just GET IT!" Dark Link's face twisted into a vicious smile as he lunged forward again.
ZeldaQueen: And that right there sounded like something one of Stephenie Meyer's villains would say
Link: Goddesses...
Raising my weapon again, I prepared to defend myself. A sudden flash of metal blazed as my weapon met his. Using all my strength, I fought to push his sword back. My wrists started to buckle under the immense power that Dark Link was putting into his sword, as he tried to pin me under it. I felt my heart starting to beat faster, felt sweat beading my face. I continued to push forward, forcing my all into my only hope, my Phoenix Circles.
Ganondorf: Her strength soon failed and she died painfully. All was well
"Your weak Jenna.
Midna: Jenna's weak what?
Link: On three now. One...two...three...
All: APOSTROPHE-R-E!!!
Why don't you just surrender to me and I will go easy on you. The hope your holding onto is not going to save you now." Dark Link said bitterly, thrusting his sword forward, pushing it closer to my throat.
Ganondorf: Ah yes, as it is quite obvious that one is usually quite willing to surrender to an evil being who had just threatened to rape and murder her
Midna: I'd like to think that not even she is that stupid
"You infidel! I will never concede to the likes of you!" I spat, my eyes narrowing.
ZeldaQueen: "Infidel"? She doubts a particular doctrine or principle?
"Then die
All: COMMA!
bitch!"
With a swift move of his sword, Dark Link knocked my Phoenix Circles out of my hands, sending them flying across the room. With a gasp, I backed up only to be met by a swift kick to my legs, sending me crashing to the floor and sending a spray of water into the air. I watched as the twisted figure of Link loomed over me, sword pointed at my throat. With another sinister laugh, he grabbed me by the tunic and threw me across the room, sending me flying across the water and into the twisted tree. With a loud thud, I fell to the ground, stunned and hurt. Trying to shake off the pain I was now feeling, I opened my eyes only to see Dark Link, advancing on his counter part.
ZeldaQueen: I know I'm supposed to be feeling utterly terrified for them right now, but I don't care
Midna: If anything, I'm happy that those two jellyworms are going to die
With one last look back at me, his blood red eyes flickered with and evil glow as a sinister smile crossed his face.
Ganondorf: Ah yes, instead of simply finishing her off when he has every chance, he will leave her lying on the ground, seemingly helpless, so he may go to kill her husband and thus give her an opportunity to kill him
"Nothing is going to save both of you now." His chilling laugh filled the room again, causing it to ring in my ears.
Link: Well this doesn't sound like lame foreshadowing
Dazed, I looked around the room and saw my Phoenix Circles just a few feet from where I sat. I tried to get up, but my leg was hurt badly, so I fell back down.
ZeldaQueen: C'mon, what happened to those cat-reflexes from before?
Trying to drag myself, I got with in arms length of them, when a sudden flash of metal knocked my weapons further away. I looked up and saw Dark Link standing over me. "Ah…ah…ah…I cannot have you retrieve your weapons now can I?" He said in a sinister laugh as he waved a finger in front of him.
ZeldaQueen: MOTHER OF GOD, this guy is cheesy!
"Now get back to where you were!" He said as his foot connected me in the jaw, causing me to fly back into the twisted tree. "Now stay put this time, I will be back for you shortly!" He screeched as he turned and strode back towards Link.
ZeldaQueen: Wait, I think I figured out who this guy reminds me of
ZeldaQueen: I'd like to see the Great Leslie try that!
Lying there I felt my whole world starting to fall upon me. Its hopeless." I thought to myself
Link: You forgot to start your quotes there. And an apostrophe. Seriously, proofreading shouldn't be this difficult
as I huddled against the evil looking tree.
Link: For some reason, I find that description hilarious
Midna: Ohhh, watch out for the tree! It's an evil tree!
"I failed miserably. I failed Link. My son, Link Jr. What have I done Its all over now, I failed them both." Burying my head in my hands, I started to cry. I felt as if I betrayed both Link and our son. Now our son will be orphaned, Link and I prisoners to this twisted evil being.
ZeldaQueen: Right, translation of the above - "BLAH!!! WANGSTWANGSTWANGST! I JUST SCREWED UP AND FAILED AND CONDEMNED OUR SON TO DEATH, DESPITE THE FACT THAT IT WAS ALL MY IDEA TO COME HERE WITH LINK IN THE FIRST PLACE, EVEN THOUGH I REALLY HAD NO EXPERIENCE OR FIGHTING SKILLS! AND IT'S NOT LIKE OUR SON WILL PROBABLY BE ADOPTED BY ZELDA OR THE KING OR ANYTHING, NOPE HE'S JUST GOING TO STARVE TO DEATH! I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE LEAVING FOR THIS STUPID VENTURE! I'LL JUST LIE HERE AND ANGST A LOT INSTEAD OF TRYING TO SAVE MYSELF AND LINK!"
As I thought there was no hope left, I heard a distant voice call out to me in my mind.
Midna: Poor girl, the strain of this all is making her mind go
Link: Um no, that's just one of her Sue-per powers
Midna: Oh. You poor guy
Suddenly the void opened up and a flame rose in my mind.
Ganondorf: That sentence made no sense
ZeldaQueen: That's probably for the best for you
the connection between Link and I was established, he called out to me. I floated in the emptiness, moved towards the flame. I saw Link's image dance within its red glow, as his voice called out from it. "Jenna my love, you cannot give up, you cannot give in."
ZeldaQueen: Never give up, never surrender!
"But he is just too strong, what can I do?" I said to him telepathically.
Link: You should of thought of that before you came here, you dumb bint!
"My love, search for the strength within. Look into your heart and there will you find the answer."
ZeldaQueen: Use the force, Luke!
Then the void shattered around me, causing the flame to flicker out and our connection to break.
ZeldaQueen: And get ready for it folks. Jenna's going to add another Sue title to her repertoire
Suddenly I felt something hot surge threw me.
All: "THROUGH"!
It raced threw my bones, raced threw my every vein, radiating to the very center of my being. My skin felt like it was burning, as if I was in a fire and the blood within me felt like it was boiling.
Link: Damn it, Sue! Now's not the time to be horny!
A sudden burst of pain shot threw
All: "THROUGH"!
me bringing me to my knees, my screams filing into the air.
Midna: Love this! *cackles*
I felt my hands starting to burn, and as I looked down at them, flames were dancing on the palms of my hands.
ZeldaQueen: Aaaaand, new Sue power acquired!
I screeched as the flames rose into mini fires, its heat making sweat bead my face. The heat inside my body surged towards my hands, fueling the fires. And I felt a wave of blinding heat surround me, as my eyes watered. As the fires raged threw me, I felt something within me snap. Instincts of a pure fiery rage burst threw me, as an unknown fiery wind lifted me up surrounding my within its flames. My hair whipped around my shoulders and my dress whipped around my ankles as a scorching wind started to fill the room.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, we get it, you're on fire, flame on, DO SOMETHING!
Ganondorf: I had many flame-monsters under my command. I fail to see how this is so unusual
Standing inside the mists of a hellish burning blaze
Link: There's no hell in Hyrule!
my eyes narrowed as Dark Link suddenly realized what was going on.
Link: (Dark Link) "Oh shIt, she's a Sue! RUN!!!"
Just as his hooded head slowly turned to face the fiery hell
Link: Stop using that word!
that was looming over him, my hands rose as tunnels of fire shot out, snaking towards Dark Link with a burning vengeance. When the fiery hell connected with him, his twisted cries tore into the air as the fires engulfed him. As I moved forward, the air begun to fill with a crackling sound as lightning danced across the ceiling. The water in the room began to surge, creating a rushing of waves as the water pounded the walls. Then the ground started shaking, causing cracks to appear on the walls and small crevasses to open in the floor.
ZeldaQueen: Blah, blah, blah, you've got a new and uber-special power and you're singlehandedly saving the day with it, despite the fact that Link already had Din's Fire
I watched as Dark Link's sneer shone threw the hell that engulfed him.
Midna: What in the name of Twilight was that supposed to mean?
Ganondorf: I believe it meant to read, "I watched as Dark Link's sneer shone through"
Link: Because Dark Link is always sneering. Because he's evil.
ZeldaQueen: I know. PDORD Count = 61
He dropped into the swelling waters, dousing the fire, causing heated steam and smoke to rise from his charred clothes.
ZeldaQueen: Erm, there's not that much water. He'd have to roll all around, which would look pretty silly
"You wretched bitch! I should have killed you!" He cursed, as he rose from the water, his face twisting into a devilish sneer.
Ganondorf: Well of course you ought to have, you fool! Any of us could have told you that!
ZeldaQueen: I don't think the Suethor knows what sneering is. Either that, or Dark Link is really stupid. I mean seriously, she just spontaneously combusted and set him on fire and he's still sneering?
"You're right, you should have killed me when you had the chance. You're a fool, now its time to die you evil beast!" Raising my hands into the air, I summoned my powers and combined them into a fiery hell as it descended upon the shadowy evil while lightning and fire reined on him from the sky. The water surged beneath his feet as the floor shook under him, causing him to collapse to the ground. I watched as the Dark Link screamed, trying to fend off the hell that was upon him. But it was useless.
ZeldaQueen: "Hell", "evil", "fire", USE DIFFERENT WORDS!!! PDORD Counter = 66
As the attack continued, I gracefully moved over to him.
Midna: "Gracefully"?
Link: Yes Sue, just keep rubbing in how great you are
Lifting a hand up, I cried into the air, the sound piercing the howling noises cascading threw the room.
Ganondorf: So she is part animal?
ZeldaQueen: Going by the sex scenes, yes. Oh, and...
All: "THROUGH"!
And with all my strength I called upon my new powers combining them all into a gigantic energy ball of pure destruction.
ZeldaQueen: She just discovered them and already has full control. Beautiful. And if any of you are wondering why I'm not all-out ranting yet, just wait until next chapter. That's when we find out why she can generate fire
With a flick of my wrist, the energy ball descended upon the Dark Being, engulfing him. With his last screams of agony, the energy ball imploded taking Dark Link with it. The chair reaction from the explosion sent me flying backwards and into a wall. Lying on the floor in the water, I looked around the shattered room and saw the elements still raging. With my last ounce of strength, I raised my head up high as a blinding white light ascended from my body and filled the room causing all to go calm once more.
Link: Okay, she just effortlessly killed Dark Link, who my fictional counterpart couldn't beat a second time
...I'm really depressed
When I awoke, Link was sitting beside me, holding me in his dusty arms.
ZeldaQueen: Just like a harlequin romance novel cover
Looking up at him, his eternal blue eyes stared deeply into mine. "Your awake my love, oh goddesses I thought I lost you! How are you feeling?" He said as he stroked my arm.
Midna: Sue fawning time!
"Ouch…oh my head hurts." I winced when I tried to move.
Link: Um, why does her head hurt? Her hands were the things on fire!
"Take it easy my love, you landed into a wall." Rubbing my head I felt something cold and wet.
Ganondorf: Why Link, there is a time and a place!
Link: Be quiet!
Lowering my hand I saw blood on my fingers, then the sight of the room caught my eye. "Oh my Goddesses…….what the hell happened here!?" I said in a raspy voice. "You don't remember?" Link questioned. I just shook my head.
ZeldaQueen: Cue the Sue being all helpless again while Link carries her around and sings her praises
"While I was bound to the wall, I watched helplessly as Dark Link sent you crashing into the tree that was there.
Link: AND IT WAS ALL SO VERY PATHETIC!
When you tried to regain your weapon, Dark Link caught you and kicked your weapon away, then kicked you back into the tree.
ZeldaQueen: What did that poor tree ever do to them?
Midna: It looked evil
ZeldaQueen: Ah yes
The next thing I knew, you were standing in the center of the room, your body on fire.
Ganondorf: He appears to be unusually calm about this fact
Then I felt a strong searing wind fill the room as pillars of flame shot out from your hands. The last thing I remember was that all hell broke loose and a strange ball of energy engulfed Dark Link, destroying him. Those haunting screams he let out before he died, I swear I will never forget that."
ZeldaQueen: Right. That gets me really angry and I'll tell you why in one word - ReDeads. You want haunting screams? Listen to these babies (quality isn't so good, sorry)
ZeldaQueen: Adding in the various groans and shrieks that were just floating around in various temples, I call bull
"When I awoke, I was lying on the floor covered with dust and debris.
Link: Because fire somehow magically unchains people
I begun to look around the room for you, and when I found you, you were lying on the floor unconscious and covered in blood. I thought my worst fears came true, I thought I had lost you." I watched as tears welled up in Link's jeweled eyes. He leaned forward and held me close. Closing my eyes I laid my head against his chest, listening to the beating of his heart. I was still over whelmed, by what Link had just told me.
ZeldaQueen: WHAT IS WITH THESE TWO??? They were just kidnapped and tied up by what was supposed to be a total monster, and all Link can think about is how much he doesn't want to lose Jena and all Jenna can think about is how his eyes are "jeweled"! And just for the eyes, PDORD Count = 67
I had no memory of those events.
Ganondorf: As evidenced by the fact that you required Link to remind you of them
"Did I really have control over the elements?" I thought to myself.
ZeldaQueen: Yes
"What really happened here? Did I really cause…..this?"
Midna: Yes
I glanced around the shattered room in disbelief. "How could I have caused such destruction?"
All: BECAUSE YOU'RE A BLOODY SUE!
Lowering my eyes I looked at my hands again. Aside from the blood that was caked on them, I saw nothing on them that could have let me "Shoot Fire" from them.
ZeldaQueen: Those quotes are completely inappropriate and what, did she think she'd see the nozzle of a flamethrower sticking out of her palms?
Link: I'm not entirely sure why her hands are "caked" in blood. If it's her own, then why isn't she showing any signs of blood loss?
With a sigh, I looked back up at Link. "Link my love…can we go home?" With a smile he nodded as we got up and slowly made our way out of the strange mangled room.
ZeldaQueen: Bet you that neither of them are really traumatized by this
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Midna: Well that was gloriously pointless!
Ganondorf: Indeed. Now what will we do for the next four chapters?
ZeldaQueen: Just stick around and find out
Link: Or don't and save your brain cells
Onward to: Chapter 15: A Newfound Power
Back to: Chapter 13: The Encounter
Return to: Table of Content