Child Of Grace: Chapter 34 - Poisoned Rationality
ZeldaQueen: I'm quite certain now that either Holly or the suethor is a complete and utter dumbass. And before you all go "well dur", just wait and see what I mean.
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 34: Poisoned Rationality
ZeldaQueen: I'd rather read about a poisoned Mary Sue.
Alright, so we all remember last chapter's cliff hanger about some Bad News regarding the Dursleys, correct? We all up to speed? Good, because this chapter goes down the crapper right away and I wouldn't want you to miss anything.
We start off with Holly striding off, avoiding people, and angsting like you wouldn't believe. Her face is "a stony mask" and as soon as she gets to her room, she crawls under the sheets and starts sobbing. So, something bad happened to the Dursleys, right? Maybe they were attacked or killed by Dark Wizards and for the first time, Holly has to consider that perhaps they had redeeming qualities or something, right?
"It wasn't supposed to be this way. It was supposed to be easier now. She was away from the Dursleys ten months of the year, and she had magic to defend her the rest of the time. But somehow, without even intending, they still managed to hurt her, to ruin her life. And it just wasn't fair. None of it was fair.
Why couldn't everyone leave well enough alone?"
ZeldaQueen: What, you were actually expecting character development?
So we get another one of those goddammed horribly-marked flashbacks. I don't know why I hate those so much, but they really do grate on me. For heaven's sake suethor, this is a story not a screenplay! Anyway, this flashback tells us why Holly is angsting over the Dursleys and herself.
Blaise told her that people are cottoning on to the fact that the Dursleys abuse her.
That's really all there is. That's all that's to it. Of course, the suethor being who she is, it takes pretty much forever to state that point. There's a ton more waffling and Holly's first thought is that the Dursleys are dead (I almost wish that were the case, so the suethor would quit bashing them) and Blaise tells her no and it ultimately turns out that Kingsley and Titania have found out. Blaise has also found out and he keeps squeezing Holly's hand and won't let go of her arm even though she keeps trying to pull away and that's even creepier. Seriously, am I the only one who thinks it's hypocritical that he's calling her out on lying about her relatives breaking her arm while squeezing her hand until she's in pain?
Holly, of course, is an angsty little bint and keeps denying it. Now, don't get me wrong, I can understand why a person would go to such lengths to deny abuse. It's a complex thing, and I know that a lot of times the abused person is afraid of the abuser, they're tricked into thinking that they honestly deserve it, they feel that it's their own problem and they ought to be the one to deal with it, and so on. Except that none of those excuses apply to Holly. She whines about the Dursleys, but has her stupid Mind Magic and Tom Riddle to cow them into submission. Never once has Holly given the impression that she agrees with them that she's an unnatural freak who deserves to be pummeled (she is, but that's for an entirely different reason). And since Holly is constantly angsting about it and basically passive aggressively demanding attention for her wounds, I never get the feeling that she wants to keep her injuries and abuse private. No, there is a reason for her angsting, and rest assured it's stupid.
That goddammed blood protection.
Yes, the suethor is still tooting that horn. The reason's I listed above, why Holly might conceivably be so floored and horrified that the abuse thing is leaking out? Not a one of them are in her empty head. The only reason she's upset is because she's afraid that she'd be taken away from the Dursleys and the blood protection won't be there for her if Voldemort comes back.
Ohhhh, list time!
First of all, am I the only one who sees that still as coming across as incredibly selfish? "Oh, I'm only putting up with this like a martyr because it serves my own interests!" And yes, I know that might be considered a mean way to look at it, but wait for one of the upcoming points for me to explain this better.
Second of all, blood protection shouldn't even work in this case! As I pointed out before, in canon, the only reason the blood protection worked is because Petunia still had a bit of love left for her sister and nephew. That was why she took Harry in and cared for him, however begrudgingly. The suthor is pitching them in this like they absolutely hate Holly and think she has no redeeming qualities. If that's the case, why are they even keeping her? Why wouldn't they have sent her to an orphanage from the start? Are they so spiteful and desperate for an indentured servant that they'd risk bringing wizarding social services down on their heads like that?
Third of all... *inhales deeply*
MY GOD, SUETHOR, ARE YOU INCAPABLE OF REMEMBERING WHAT YOU WROTE IN THIS FUCKING STORY????
To better explain, you all remember that ridiculous ritual where she raised her dead parents and spoke with them? I don't think it even happened two chapters ago. You remember it? Good. You clearly have a longer memory span then our dear suethor here. Because what was one of the things that Lily told the Sue? Anyone? I'll just repeat it for you all. And in case I'm not clear enough, I'll use large, colored font.
LILY SAID THAT HOLLY COULD GET BETTER PROTECTION FROM SIRIUS AND THAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HER GUARDIAN
There, now was that so hard? What, you want me to explain more? Alright then. Lily made it clear that she never wanted her daughter living with Petunia. She seemed to think that the blood protection was worthless since Petunia doesn't give a fig for her niece. Lily explains that by her and Jame's will, Holly should be in Sirius's care. By her own admittance, Sirius can provide better protection than the blood magic. By this point in the story, Holly knows full well that Sirius is safe and innocent. She knows exactly how to prove that innocence and I can only assume that she's not pursuing Pettigrew out of sheer laziness (we haven't heard since that one chapter about her trying to capture him).
In short? Why the fuck would she be worried about losing the blood protection? She has something even better! She has somewhere else to go! What the EVERLOVING HELL SUETHOR, THIS STORY SUCKS DONKEY BALLS!!!
Fourth of all, even if that entire point up above weren't true right now? Everyone go back and have a look at the conversation between Lily and Holly, when the Sue was told that she could go live with Sirius. What was Holly angsting about there? That the Ministry of Magic would fight tooth and nail to keep her with the Dursleys, under the blood magic protection. So...either way, IT SHOULDN'T MATTER!
Fifth of all, are they or are they not in a magic world? Does it not occur to Holly that there might be a third option to take here? Like having someone perform a memory charm on the Dursleys to make them forget they hate her? Or provide her with a magical shield or something? I mean, I don't endorse brainwashing people, but it seems odd that our dear little sociopath here hasn't considered it.
*holds head* I hate this fic.
So, all of those points I outlined up there? All of that logic? Not a bit of it is brought up in this fic. You know what is brought up next? That goddammed bonded nonsense. Turns out that Blaise knew that he was her "bonded" since the second year, so all of her angsting about telling him was for nothing. And how does Holly react to this?
She throws a tantrum. Really. She spent all of this time worrying about how it will just devastate Blaise to know he's bonded to her and she just doesn't have the slightest clue how to tell him, and here he already knows and is peachy and she responds by using her telekinesis to start shaking the furniture and storm out of the room. Because she's pissed that Blaise didn't tell her that he knew something earlier. Yes, really.
Thank God, the flashback ends here, just before I lose my mind.
Back in the present, Holly wakes up to find Sirius sitting on her bed, stroking her hair. Well, that's not at all creepy. Holly angsts about how no one has cared about her in her life and cheers up, smirks, and goes off. As she heads for breakfast, she's accosted by the Weasley twins, who tell her that Sirius Black was spotted in the Gryffindor Common Room by Ron. For no reason at all, as they tell her this, they casually drag her into the Hogwarts kitchens where the House Elves automatically start waiting on them. We basically get a watered-down summary of the event from canon, but the "twist" is that the figure Ron saw was actually Pettigrew who...turned human for no reason at all. I guess this is supposed to be when he fakes his own death, but why the hell would he turn human for it? He's safer as a rat. Hell, even the Sues notices the lack of logic in that one!
Oh, and Holly's plan to befriend Neville to get at Scabbers? She apparently has completely forgotten about it. \~/ And there really is no excuse at all, because we still get the plot point about the stranger breaking into the Common Room via Neville's list of passwords. If Slytherins are supposed to be so cunning, why didn't they even think to try that one? \~/ And now, Pettigrew has escaped. \~/ \~/ \~/
We end the section on this bit of Ron bashing, from George.
"'Poor, Ronnikins,' George said, clucking his tongue and not sounding the least bit sorry. 'First, Slytherin creams Ravenclaw, all but assuring you the Quidditch Cup. Then, he sees Sirius Black. And this morning, he woke up only to find that Hermione's cat had eaten Scabbers.'"
ZeldaQueen: Next section completely summarizes the upgraded security features, along with the sentence "Ron Weasley was the new celebrity of Hogwarts, but his excitement about this fact was diluted by his sadness at the apparent death of Scabbers". Holly and Sirius try to find Pettigrew on the Maurader's Map, which has been of zero importance to the story thus far, but he can't be found. Holly figures that Crookshanks at him, but Sirius says the cat didn't do that and they have no idea where Pettigrew is. And it doesn't occur to Sirius to look off of grounds...why?
No, I don't feel sorry in the least for these dumbasses. They could have captured Pettigrew twenty times over by now. There's no one to blame but themselves.
Sirius says that it's "for the best" that Pettigrew is gone, because apparently he isn't bothered that a mass murderer is loose in the world. Holly, meanwhile, has three paragraphs which can be condensed to "She angsts. A lot". We get a rundown of the teachers, which is incredibly boring, and Hagrid gets bashed.
"Hagrid was blitheringly oblivious as usual. In all fairness, he was engrossed with Buckbeak's defence, receiving some half-hearted help from a few people and a near dissertation from Hermione. Regardless, he did invite Holly over Friday afternoon, and she agreed for a lack of anything better to do, not to mention that it got her out of the castle."
ZeldaQueen: Don't you just love how sweet little Holly goes out of her way to defend the innocent Hippogriff? Or how she makes underhanded jabs at Hermione, who is putting in an effort to protect the poor thing? I hope if the Sue tries to ride Buckbeak to save Sirius later, the thing bites her head off.
And major Bella Swan vibrations here. "Oh, I wouldn't choose to visit him, but hey I'm bored and he's offering".
After this visit, Holly heads off to go to bed. Just as she passes an alcove, a shot rang out a hand grabs her and someone says "You!"
---------------------------------------------------
Amorcita: little love
ZeldaQueen: Yes, we know! That's all he ever calls the little bint!
AN: Wow! This is a really dialogue heavy chapter, but that can't be helped.
ZeldaQueen: Most of it was complete sap and nonsense
A lot of this has been building up for quite some time. And this was a ridiculously difficult chapter to write. I probably went through three different drafts.
ZeldaQueen: Makes it sound like this was some literary constipation or something. And bull, I say. This was just sloppily written
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onward to: Chapter 35: C'est La Vie
Back to: Chapter 33: Wolf In The Fold
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 34: Poisoned Rationality
ZeldaQueen: I'd rather read about a poisoned Mary Sue.
Alright, so we all remember last chapter's cliff hanger about some Bad News regarding the Dursleys, correct? We all up to speed? Good, because this chapter goes down the crapper right away and I wouldn't want you to miss anything.
We start off with Holly striding off, avoiding people, and angsting like you wouldn't believe. Her face is "a stony mask" and as soon as she gets to her room, she crawls under the sheets and starts sobbing. So, something bad happened to the Dursleys, right? Maybe they were attacked or killed by Dark Wizards and for the first time, Holly has to consider that perhaps they had redeeming qualities or something, right?
"It wasn't supposed to be this way. It was supposed to be easier now. She was away from the Dursleys ten months of the year, and she had magic to defend her the rest of the time. But somehow, without even intending, they still managed to hurt her, to ruin her life. And it just wasn't fair. None of it was fair.
Why couldn't everyone leave well enough alone?"
ZeldaQueen: What, you were actually expecting character development?
So we get another one of those goddammed horribly-marked flashbacks. I don't know why I hate those so much, but they really do grate on me. For heaven's sake suethor, this is a story not a screenplay! Anyway, this flashback tells us why Holly is angsting over the Dursleys and herself.
Blaise told her that people are cottoning on to the fact that the Dursleys abuse her.
That's really all there is. That's all that's to it. Of course, the suethor being who she is, it takes pretty much forever to state that point. There's a ton more waffling and Holly's first thought is that the Dursleys are dead (I almost wish that were the case, so the suethor would quit bashing them) and Blaise tells her no and it ultimately turns out that Kingsley and Titania have found out. Blaise has also found out and he keeps squeezing Holly's hand and won't let go of her arm even though she keeps trying to pull away and that's even creepier. Seriously, am I the only one who thinks it's hypocritical that he's calling her out on lying about her relatives breaking her arm while squeezing her hand until she's in pain?
Holly, of course, is an angsty little bint and keeps denying it. Now, don't get me wrong, I can understand why a person would go to such lengths to deny abuse. It's a complex thing, and I know that a lot of times the abused person is afraid of the abuser, they're tricked into thinking that they honestly deserve it, they feel that it's their own problem and they ought to be the one to deal with it, and so on. Except that none of those excuses apply to Holly. She whines about the Dursleys, but has her stupid Mind Magic and Tom Riddle to cow them into submission. Never once has Holly given the impression that she agrees with them that she's an unnatural freak who deserves to be pummeled (she is, but that's for an entirely different reason). And since Holly is constantly angsting about it and basically passive aggressively demanding attention for her wounds, I never get the feeling that she wants to keep her injuries and abuse private. No, there is a reason for her angsting, and rest assured it's stupid.
That goddammed blood protection.
Yes, the suethor is still tooting that horn. The reason's I listed above, why Holly might conceivably be so floored and horrified that the abuse thing is leaking out? Not a one of them are in her empty head. The only reason she's upset is because she's afraid that she'd be taken away from the Dursleys and the blood protection won't be there for her if Voldemort comes back.
Ohhhh, list time!
First of all, am I the only one who sees that still as coming across as incredibly selfish? "Oh, I'm only putting up with this like a martyr because it serves my own interests!" And yes, I know that might be considered a mean way to look at it, but wait for one of the upcoming points for me to explain this better.
Second of all, blood protection shouldn't even work in this case! As I pointed out before, in canon, the only reason the blood protection worked is because Petunia still had a bit of love left for her sister and nephew. That was why she took Harry in and cared for him, however begrudgingly. The suthor is pitching them in this like they absolutely hate Holly and think she has no redeeming qualities. If that's the case, why are they even keeping her? Why wouldn't they have sent her to an orphanage from the start? Are they so spiteful and desperate for an indentured servant that they'd risk bringing wizarding social services down on their heads like that?
Third of all... *inhales deeply*
MY GOD, SUETHOR, ARE YOU INCAPABLE OF REMEMBERING WHAT YOU WROTE IN THIS FUCKING STORY????
To better explain, you all remember that ridiculous ritual where she raised her dead parents and spoke with them? I don't think it even happened two chapters ago. You remember it? Good. You clearly have a longer memory span then our dear suethor here. Because what was one of the things that Lily told the Sue? Anyone? I'll just repeat it for you all. And in case I'm not clear enough, I'll use large, colored font.
LILY SAID THAT HOLLY COULD GET BETTER PROTECTION FROM SIRIUS AND THAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HER GUARDIAN
There, now was that so hard? What, you want me to explain more? Alright then. Lily made it clear that she never wanted her daughter living with Petunia. She seemed to think that the blood protection was worthless since Petunia doesn't give a fig for her niece. Lily explains that by her and Jame's will, Holly should be in Sirius's care. By her own admittance, Sirius can provide better protection than the blood magic. By this point in the story, Holly knows full well that Sirius is safe and innocent. She knows exactly how to prove that innocence and I can only assume that she's not pursuing Pettigrew out of sheer laziness (we haven't heard since that one chapter about her trying to capture him).
In short? Why the fuck would she be worried about losing the blood protection? She has something even better! She has somewhere else to go! What the EVERLOVING HELL SUETHOR, THIS STORY SUCKS DONKEY BALLS!!!
Fourth of all, even if that entire point up above weren't true right now? Everyone go back and have a look at the conversation between Lily and Holly, when the Sue was told that she could go live with Sirius. What was Holly angsting about there? That the Ministry of Magic would fight tooth and nail to keep her with the Dursleys, under the blood magic protection. So...either way, IT SHOULDN'T MATTER!
Fifth of all, are they or are they not in a magic world? Does it not occur to Holly that there might be a third option to take here? Like having someone perform a memory charm on the Dursleys to make them forget they hate her? Or provide her with a magical shield or something? I mean, I don't endorse brainwashing people, but it seems odd that our dear little sociopath here hasn't considered it.
*holds head* I hate this fic.
So, all of those points I outlined up there? All of that logic? Not a bit of it is brought up in this fic. You know what is brought up next? That goddammed bonded nonsense. Turns out that Blaise knew that he was her "bonded" since the second year, so all of her angsting about telling him was for nothing. And how does Holly react to this?
She throws a tantrum. Really. She spent all of this time worrying about how it will just devastate Blaise to know he's bonded to her and she just doesn't have the slightest clue how to tell him, and here he already knows and is peachy and she responds by using her telekinesis to start shaking the furniture and storm out of the room. Because she's pissed that Blaise didn't tell her that he knew something earlier. Yes, really.
Thank God, the flashback ends here, just before I lose my mind.
Back in the present, Holly wakes up to find Sirius sitting on her bed, stroking her hair. Well, that's not at all creepy. Holly angsts about how no one has cared about her in her life and cheers up, smirks, and goes off. As she heads for breakfast, she's accosted by the Weasley twins, who tell her that Sirius Black was spotted in the Gryffindor Common Room by Ron. For no reason at all, as they tell her this, they casually drag her into the Hogwarts kitchens where the House Elves automatically start waiting on them. We basically get a watered-down summary of the event from canon, but the "twist" is that the figure Ron saw was actually Pettigrew who...turned human for no reason at all. I guess this is supposed to be when he fakes his own death, but why the hell would he turn human for it? He's safer as a rat. Hell, even the Sues notices the lack of logic in that one!
Oh, and Holly's plan to befriend Neville to get at Scabbers? She apparently has completely forgotten about it. \~/ And there really is no excuse at all, because we still get the plot point about the stranger breaking into the Common Room via Neville's list of passwords. If Slytherins are supposed to be so cunning, why didn't they even think to try that one? \~/ And now, Pettigrew has escaped. \~/ \~/ \~/
We end the section on this bit of Ron bashing, from George.
"'Poor, Ronnikins,' George said, clucking his tongue and not sounding the least bit sorry. 'First, Slytherin creams Ravenclaw, all but assuring you the Quidditch Cup. Then, he sees Sirius Black. And this morning, he woke up only to find that Hermione's cat had eaten Scabbers.'"
ZeldaQueen: Next section completely summarizes the upgraded security features, along with the sentence "Ron Weasley was the new celebrity of Hogwarts, but his excitement about this fact was diluted by his sadness at the apparent death of Scabbers". Holly and Sirius try to find Pettigrew on the Maurader's Map, which has been of zero importance to the story thus far, but he can't be found. Holly figures that Crookshanks at him, but Sirius says the cat didn't do that and they have no idea where Pettigrew is. And it doesn't occur to Sirius to look off of grounds...why?
No, I don't feel sorry in the least for these dumbasses. They could have captured Pettigrew twenty times over by now. There's no one to blame but themselves.
Sirius says that it's "for the best" that Pettigrew is gone, because apparently he isn't bothered that a mass murderer is loose in the world. Holly, meanwhile, has three paragraphs which can be condensed to "She angsts. A lot". We get a rundown of the teachers, which is incredibly boring, and Hagrid gets bashed.
"Hagrid was blitheringly oblivious as usual. In all fairness, he was engrossed with Buckbeak's defence, receiving some half-hearted help from a few people and a near dissertation from Hermione. Regardless, he did invite Holly over Friday afternoon, and she agreed for a lack of anything better to do, not to mention that it got her out of the castle."
ZeldaQueen: Don't you just love how sweet little Holly goes out of her way to defend the innocent Hippogriff? Or how she makes underhanded jabs at Hermione, who is putting in an effort to protect the poor thing? I hope if the Sue tries to ride Buckbeak to save Sirius later, the thing bites her head off.
And major Bella Swan vibrations here. "Oh, I wouldn't choose to visit him, but hey I'm bored and he's offering".
After this visit, Holly heads off to go to bed. Just as she passes an alcove, a shot rang out a hand grabs her and someone says "You!"
---------------------------------------------------
Amorcita: little love
ZeldaQueen: Yes, we know! That's all he ever calls the little bint!
AN: Wow! This is a really dialogue heavy chapter, but that can't be helped.
ZeldaQueen: Most of it was complete sap and nonsense
A lot of this has been building up for quite some time. And this was a ridiculously difficult chapter to write. I probably went through three different drafts.
ZeldaQueen: Makes it sound like this was some literary constipation or something. And bull, I say. This was just sloppily written
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onward to: Chapter 35: C'est La Vie
Back to: Chapter 33: Wolf In The Fold
Return to: Table of Contents