Child Of Grace: Chapter 43 - Sine Qua Non
ZeldaQueen: Righty, speeding down the line here! Incidentally, I'm trying to continue on with Earl Harry James Potter. I'm just trying to figure out a way to continue to spork it without driving y'all insane with boredom
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 43: Sine Qua Non
ZeldaQueen: Right. In our last chapter, the Sue angsted and angsted and the Suethor failed by logic and politics forever. We start off with a short paragraph, which is all the summarizing of how excited Holly is for Moody's class. Given that Holly had forewarning about him and his occupation, there's not nearly as much mystery surrounding the guy.
We go through a laundry list of classes that Holly has in the meantime. For Divination, the Suethor tries to add her own "clever" "improvements" to Trelawny's prediction that Holly was born in midwinter. I'm sure you remember that bit from canon? This is what it is here
"Trelawney was practically giddy as she announced that Holly was certainly born in midwinter due to her dark hair, tragic losses, and lack of height. She deflated when Theo blithely informed her that his friend was born in July. And further still when Milli and he commented in false undertones on how Holly was the most famous witch in Britain, not to mention one of Trelawney's students. How could the woman not know her birthday? It was practically a national holiday"
ZeldaQueen: I love how the Suethor took what was a passing joke and managed to use it to both bash Trelawny and praise Holly to the high heavens. Her birthday is practically a "national holiday"? I...I don't think I can comment properly on that amount of arrogance.
Although I have to ask, why couldn't Holly have told her this? Harry was the one to correct Trelawny in canon. Is Holly so delicate and better that she can't be bothered to sully herself, correcting the peons? It reminds me of Spoony's review of New Moon and his point about how codependent Bella is, that even though she has her own truck, she is never the one to drive herself anywhere. Apparently Holly is so codependent and useless that she can't even tell someone when her own birthday is.
We then devote one paragraph to both Arithmancy and Care of Magical Creatures, the latter of which is used to bash Hagrid. This goes to show how hateful the Sues are - keep in mind that, as with canon, Hagrid is using the Blasted-EndSkrewts, creatures so potentially dangerous that even Hermione agreed with Malfoy that they should be gotten rid of. Perhaps it's because the only description of them we get is that the class "was a trial in and of itself, featuring a brand new species he had crossbred himself. But that sounded far more fascinating than the Blast-Ended Skrewts actually were. As far as Holly and most of Slytherin were concerned, the things were dangerous and should be stamped out for the safety of everyone. After all, who wouldn't want a pet that could bite, burn, sting, and suction all at the same time?" It just makes them sound arrogantly bored and we're never given a good description of the Skrewts. Also, I have to ask, how would Holly know that the Skrewts were crossbred? No one found that out until Rita ran her article.
On to Transfiguration! "Transfiguration was actually an improvement, which didn't really say much. Holly managed to successfully change her badger into a tea kettle, and hers didn't even have any whiskers on it. Not that McGonagall gave her any points or anything. But at least hers didn't try to attack her with an angry burst of steam like Ernie Macmillan's did". You know, if Holly ever acts genuinely kind or grateful towards any character that isn't on her Toadie list, I might have a heart attack and die.
We're then told that she had Ancient Runes, though all that's said is that it was an easy recapping of what they already learned. You know, she also described Arithmancy as being really easy. You don't suppose she's having her Sue-classes be dumbed down, hmm? Nah! Oh, and she partners with Gavin in Herbology and they both get twenty points for repotting a plant. I can only assume that's twenty points apiece, as they're in separate Houses, which seems kind of excessive if you ask me.
And now, we get to Moody's class! I don't think I can do it justice with summarizing, so on to the sporking we go!
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They heard the distinctive sound of Moody's fake leg clinking against the ground soon after.
ZeldaQueen: He was rehearsing for Dancing With the Stars. It was fantastic
He entered the classroom and stalked up the biggest row without a word, remaining silent until he was all the way to the front.
ZeldaQueen: I'm such a better person for knowing that!
"Books away," he barked. "You won't need them. Not in this class. They're for outside reading only."
ZeldaQueen: And the point of that addition was what, exactly? The did use their books in class, just not that one
He pulled out a parchment and went through the roll, eye whirling to each student as they were called. Moody paused at Holly's name, both eyes moving to her for a fraction of a second. She felt a twinge in the back of her mind then but dismissed it as nerves. Besides, there was something bizarre about this man. Vaguely unnerving. She supposed that had something to do with his appearance. Or perhaps simply his bearing. Like he expected to be attacked at any moment, magic eye constantly whirling.
ZeldaQueen: SUBTLE FORESHADOWING!!!
Moody was quick to do a review after the roll. Just a check of what Remus' notes had said they'd covered. He seemed mildly impressed with all the creatures they'd gone over, but it was clear that he thought Remus had skimped on the curses and other Dark Arts. Especially the most important three.
ZeldaQueen: I love how the suethor is just gliding over his eccentric demeanor and how impressive he seemed. Also, she skipped his magic eye. I know it's not vital to the plot that we know it can look through stuff, but it still was interesting and gave him a sense of authority. Nope, we just skip right ahead to the Unforgivables
"So do any of you know which curses are most heavily punished by law?" he questioned, real eye scanning them as several hands slowly raised. "You, Nott."
"The three Unforgivables," Theo replied with a blink.
The professor gave a sharp nod.
ZeldaQueen: (Moody) "I thought you'd know. Your Death Eater father used all three during his tenure in the service of the Dark Lord"
"Which are?" He pointed at Draco. "Malfoy."
"The Cruciatus curse," Draco answered, meeting Moody's gaze with a cool look.
ZeldaQueen: I love how Malfoy isn't bothered by talking about the torture curse. Also, way to ruin the character development this had in canon. This was the start of when we were introduced to Neville's tragic backstory, for heaven's sake!
"The pain curse. Don't need screws
ZeldaQueen: Isn't it thumb screws?
or knives for that." Moody's normal eye narrowed. "You would know that one," he grunted out
ZeldaQueen: Dude, go to the bathroom for that!
And why would Malfoy know that one? In canon, Moody said that line to Ron, about the Imperius curse!
but turned away to reach into his pocket.
ZeldaQueen: That a wand in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?
He pulled out a glass jar with a spider in it. "Needs to be bigger."
ZeldaQueen: Right. Now I regret my previous joke
He tapped the spider, and it grew to the size of a dinner plate before Moody set in on the desk. He jerked his wand towards it. "Crucio."
The spider jolted and twitched. Its legs curled in on themselves, practically snapping from the force of the motion. It rocked from side to side, as though trying to escape the agony. And Holly knew that had it been able to, the spider would've been screaming. Moody simply watched it for a minute and lifted the spell. He deposited the now shrunken spider back in its jar, and Holly saw that it was still trembling before he put in away.
ZeldaQueen: Again, where's the emotion? This is just empty!
Everyone stared at him wide-eyed as he moved to call on Milli.
"You, girl, give me another one."
"Er... the Imperius curse." Her voice was hesitant. Almost afraid.
ZeldaQueen: Again, why? In canon, there were reasons that Ron and Neville were the ones to name those curses - they were the ones who knew about them! Has Millicent had some run-ins with Imperius? Is there a reason she's afraid of it?
Moody nodded like he approved. He produced another spider, but he didn't enlarge this one. Just cursed it and made it dance around like a demented jumping bean. The Slytherins all watched, equal parts fascinated and horrified. Moody didn't seem to care that they flinched when he put the spider away.
ZeldaQueen: Ah yes, that was just the Suethor fixing things. In canon, the idiot Gryffindors thought that Imperius was harmless and funny. Nope, the Slytherins are smart. They catch on right away at how terrible it is!
"Imperius, the mind control curse. Can make someone do anything," he said in that gruff tone. "Attack their friends. Murder their children. Anything! Ministry had a load of problems the last war. So many people cursed. Or claiming to be at any rate." His attention flickered to Draco. "But it can be fought. Guarded against. I'll be teaching you how, but it takes real strength of character, and not everyone's got it. The best defence is not to be cursed. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"
ZeldaQueen: (Moody) "I'm. Talking in brief. Fragmented sentences. No idea why. Shouting stuff for no reason. Pointless, really. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"
They jumped.
ZeldaQueen: And did the Michigan Rag
"The last one?" Moody barked.
ZeldaQueen: Oh look, he's turning into a dog!
Holly raised her hand defiantly. "The Killing curse. Avada Kedavra." She stared straight into his face, ignoring Blaise when he nudged her.
ZeldaQueen: *bored* Oh, look at how brave she is. That loser Harry never wanted to talk about or knew about the curse that murdered his family. Isn't she so unaffected? Little sociopath
Moody stared right back with both eyes. "Yes, the Killing curse."
A smile twisted his mouth as he pulled out his last spider. It skittered across the top of his desk. Like it knew exactly what was coming.
"Avada Kedavra." Moody's voice an almost hiss, though still very audible.
ZeldaQueen: Yes Suethor, we know that you know that Moody is really evil! Stop dropping anvil-sized hints on us!
A rush of green light flew at the spider and connected. It fell over dead. No marks. No signs. No life. Nothing.
ZeldaQueen: Damn, it's so powerful that it sucked all life out of this fic as well!
"That's it, folks. Not nice. Or pleasant. And no countercurse. There's no blocking it. Only one person to survive that, and she's sitting in this class." Moody didn't even need to point for them to know who he meant.
ZeldaQueen: *rolls eyes* Of course, everyone knows about Holly
Holly stiffened.
ZeldaQueen: Not the time to get horny, dear
A memory of green light and a horrible shriek filled her ears. Louder and louder and louder still. The sweeping rush of death. But then, she felt a hand find hers under the table and squeeze. Hard. She came back to herself in a flash and let out the breath she hadn't even been aware she was holding. She glanced to her right and gave Blaise a grateful grin.
ZeldaQueen: FUCK YOU, YOU BITCH, DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO PLAY FOR SYMPATHY! YOU BRING YOUR PARENTS BACK FROM THE DEAD TO SING YOUR PRAISES AND APPARENTLY THEY AREN'T SO DEAR THAT YOU WERE THIS AFFECTED BY THE DEMENTORS LAST YEAR AND YOUR PATRONUS IS YOUR FUCKING BOYFRIEND INSTEAD OF YOUR PARENTS AND YOU CAN'T SPEND TEN SECONDS BEING UPSET IN THE LEAST WITHOUT SOMEONE HOLDING YOUR HAND AND SPARING YOUR DELICATE FEELINGS AND GOOD LORD, I HATE YOU SO MUCH!
"Avada Kedavra needs powerful magic behind it," Moody was saying as she turned back to him. "You lot could all get your wands out now and point them at me and say the words, but I doubt I'd get so much as a nosebleed.
ZeldaQueen: Given how hateful these guys are, I doubt that
But that doesn't matter. I'm not here to teach you how to do it." He scanned the room. "There's no countercurse to any of them, so why am I showing you? So you can be forewarned. Forearmed. So you won't find yourselves in a situation facing them. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"
They all jumped again. Holly thought that he just enjoyed seeing them do that.
ZeldaQueen: Thank you, Captain Obvious!
Moody went to the board then and waved his wand. Writing appeared, an overview of the three curses and the Ministry's punishment for them.
ZeldaQueen: Erm, punishment is a life sentence in Azkaban. Pretty basic, really
They were all quick to grab their quills, and Moody continued speaking as they hurriedly wrote it all down. They spent the rest of the class doing much the same. None of the Slytherins dared speak until the bell. Not even to each other. And they were all quick to pack up their things when he dismissed them. Even quicker to head for the door.
ZeldaQueen: Good to know they have such respect for the guy who undoubtedly put some of their parents in Azkaban and arrested even more
Holly was the last to leave, just behind Blaise. Her attention flicked to Moody as she exited, and she saw him studying her in return. Face thoughtful and chin lifted. She left before he could call her back and hurried after her friends, the dying screams of her mother still echoing in her ears.
ZeldaQueen: Let's see, SUBTLE FORESHADOWING, angst, sap, fragments, that's just about everything!
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ZeldaQueen: We then jump to Holly getting a letter from Dumbledore, about some urgent matter. Holly wigs out and her friends instantly try to shelter her feelings. This is interrupted by the arrival Blaise's cousin, Alé. She might have been mentioned before, but I honestly can't remember. This fic's original characters are impossibly bland and useless. Anyway, she tells them that the Ravenclaw House is having a school-wide, girl's only sleepover, because girls like girly things like that. Apparently it's to be a treat for the younger students, who can't enter the tournament. And I'm not lying, ladies and gentlemen, when I first read that, I had forgotten that the tournament had been announced to the student body and wondered how the heck this girl knew about it.
All of the girls present agree and Blaise's cousin walks off and everyone instantly starts to gossip about the sleepover. Pansy says snidely "I can hardly imagine Granger or the youngest Weasley going". Yes, because heaven forbid they don't trust you guys. Holly remembers that there was Important News from Dumbledore and sets off to his office.
We jump to there, and there's a lot of puttering around before Dumbledore properly explains things to her. Apparently Nicolas Flamel and his wife had recently passed away. Holly, understandably, is confuzzled by this. And then, we get an asspull from the Suethor, for no reason at all
"The old man sighed and gazed at her with tired eyes. 'They lived until just this last summer. Far longer than they had originally believed without the elixir to sustain them. As to your other question, I am telling you this because you are named in their will. You are actually one of the main beneficiaries."'
The Slytherin felt her mouth go dry. Even as her stomach settled somewhere near her ankles.
'What?' It came out a half-strangled squeak.
'You are one of the main beneficiaries of their will,' he repeated. 'As am I. Both of us inherit from them. Quite a lot in fact.'
Holly covered her mouth with her hand and stared at him like she'd never seen anything like him before. Her mind was racing. Doing its utmost to find some logic in what he'd just told her. It didn't make any sense. No sense at all. She didn't even know these people!
'But why?' Holly finally managed to ask, voice sounding surprisingly calm. 'They never even met me. I don't know them.'
'You never even met them either, my dear, but you tried to save the Stone from Voldemort,' Dumbledore responded softly. He looked rather old in that moment, old but still alive and feeling. 'You tried to help them without knowing them.'
'But I wasn't trying to help them,' she argued. 'I was just keeping it away from Voldemort. They never really factored into it.'
The headmaster shook his head. 'They did. I assure you that they did. One of the first things you asked me after that terrible day was what would happen to them, and you were so upset when you learned that they would die. Nicholas and his wife were quite surprised when I told them this.'"
ZeldaQueen: Dumbledore, Holly is right, for a change. She shouldn't be in the will. She did nothing to deserve it. Harry also tried to selflessly save the Stone from Voldemort. Hell, he did more than she did! She was kidnapped and bound the entire time! If anything, Blaise, Ron, and Hermione ought to be in the will! THEY WENT DOWN TO RESCUE HER! SHE DID SHIT TO STOP QUIRRELL! WHAT, IS SHE GETTING ALL THIS MONEY AND WHATNOT BECAUSE SHE SHOWED CONCERN THAT SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE? IF THAT'S ALL IT TOOK, THERE'D BE MORE MILLIONAIRES IN THIS WORLD!
GOD!!!
I...I don't even!
Okay. Okay. Let's just get past this. Right. Holly asks if the Flamels had any other living relatives, and Dumbledore said that they did have grandchildren and great-grandchildren, including Sirius. And these folks are being passed over in favor of Holly, why? Holly insists that there must be someone more deserving than her, and while it's standard Mary Sue Fake Modesty, I still agree. Dumbledore says "There isn't anyone more deserving. The Flamels certainly didn't think so, and neither do I" and "Nicholas wanted to ensure that their work would be put to good use. They knew that they could trust you with it. That you would not misuse what was given to you. Just as you did not misuse the Stone". HOW COULD SHE HAVE MISUSED THE STONE? SHE HAD IT FOR ALL OF TWO SECONDS!
Incidentally, dear viewers, I looked back over that bit of this fic. The entire thing was summarized in a flashback, so we never get to see her making the conscious decision to lie to Voldemort to protect the stone. About half of a sentence is devoted to her being told that the only way she got the stone was that she wanted it but wouldn't use it. And she only spends two sentences asking about the fates of the Flamels. Yes, she certainly sounds deserving of a fortune.
Finally, Dumbledore convinces her to take the damned inheritance and she asks what she got. "Books. Notes. Artefacts. A few other intriguing things. And gold. You'll most certainly get that". I already screamed at this, folks. I'm just ignoring it all, this time around.
Jump to the next section, when Blaise is going on about how Holly certainly is richer than King Solomon now! GAH! We're told that apparently Blaise, Ron, and Hermione were also left some gold, just not nearly as much. *hates* There's a lot of gushing over the cool alchemy notes she got and she angsts about how she wishes she could have thanked the Flamels before they died.
Blaise decides to cheer her up with a dueling session and suggests that she go to Moody for pointers. There's SUBTLE FORESHADOWING about how there's something about him that makes Holly nervous, and she mentions that he has perfect mind shielding. Ah, so that's how the Suethor is hand waving her creation's blatant idiocy. I was wondering. Holly decides to give it a few weeks to see if she gets over this nervousness around him. WHAT IS IT WITH THIS IDIOT AND WAITING TO SEE IF BAD THINGS GO AWAY??? There's also more SUBTLE FORESHADOWING as Holly talks about how she's half-convinced that Moody will try one of the Unforgivables on them.
One "amusing" cut later, and we're suddenly at the class in which Moody casts Imperius on the class. All of Holly's friends go on about how horrible the idea is and how they can't believe Dumbledore approved of it, blah, blah, blah. I'm not looking forward to Holly showing off.
We then get a laundry list of what everyone's forced to do while under the curse. And folks, it's really apparent that the Suethor knows that Moody is actually a Bad Guy
"Their professor was determined to put all of them through their paces and called them up one by one. Vincent was the first to fall, forced to imitate a rooster and then a crocodile. Greg was next, doing cartwheels in an entire circuit around the room. Daphne sang a rather good rendition of "God Save the Queen" while gurgling water, and Pansy did an impressive pantomime of waltzing followed by a tap-dance. Moody seemed to take an almost sadistic sort of glee in making Draco strip to his underthings and turn all his clothes inside out before putting them back on. And Holly swore that he almost laughed when he forced Theo into thinking that he was really the lead singer of the Weird Sisters"
ZeldaQueen: Subtlety, thy name is not"Lady Azar de Tameran"
Then it's Holly's turn. Joy. She's put under the curse and guess what? Her stupid Mind Magic is brought up again. That's why she is able to resist the commands. Her mental shields or whatnot. She really sucks - Harry fought it through sheer willpower. But oh wait, she's clearly better! She doesn't weaken and halfway jump into the desk, like Harry did. Bah. Oh, and Blaise goes after her and is kinda-sorta able to hold off. Gee, I wonder why? Holly starts to angst about how Moody might figure out her secret.
Thankfully, we're saved by a change of subject! The Triwizard Tournament is going to start soon! Really! At this rate, I'm wondering how the Suethor is filling up so many chapters. Holly and her friends are able to instantly remember that Krum goes to Durmstrung and that he's still in school because they're That Much Better and wonder if he's going to be in the group that arrives. Holly gets all dreamy-eyed over Krum and there's some "delightful" banter over her crushing on him instead of Blaise. Fred and George show up and go on about their plan to enter. There's heavy-handed foreshadowing about how they need money for their joke items, which makes no sense, because we never were told about their ambition to run a joke shop.
The chapter ends with the group walking off and Holly feeling "a spike of dread shoot down her spine". No dear, that's just the sporkers making short work of you
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Sine Qua Non: Without Which Not. Or "something which is necessary or cannot be done without."
ZeldaQueen: I should start a tally for the useless chapter titles. Is it supposed to be referring to her mind shield? If so, that's really a weak connection. You know, like the other chapter titles!!!
Oh, and get ready for this next bit, ladies and gents. Remember how I mentioned before that the Suethor wasn't totally oblivious to how obnoxious her Mary Sue was? Well...this is her defense. Seriously. Ready?
AN: So I was messing around on Google and typed in my author name. Apparently, I'm on the best of the worst list for "Potter-Sue" from way back in 2005. Even I admit that my version of this story was horrible back then. Made me laugh for hours in remembrance.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, that's honestly her defense. "Oh, she was really bad before, but she's fine now!" And that's in the A/N for the chapter that has Holly getting a pointless inheritance and using her noncanon mind powers to protect herself and her best friend from mindrape.
*snorts*
HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Oh dear lord, I needed that! *wipes tears*
Also, I've had several people critiquing me on my use of Spanish. First of all, Blaise speaks Spanish because Dante does - his sister lives there. He hasn't actively spoken Italian since he was very small, but he is constantly exposed to Spanish through his papa.
ZeldaQueen: Okay, so could you be bothered to explain that in the story itself? I don't recall Dante speaking nearly that much gratuitous Spanish
Second, adding "ito" or "ita" to certain words denotes something that is little. For example, pero means dog, while perito means little dog or (sometimes) puppy. Third, Blaise says "Te amo" because this verb does not necessarily have a sexual connotation. "Te quiero" almost always does.
ZeldaQueen: Given Shaolina's testimony, you're as factually accurate as English, She is Spoken. And I'm going to be believing Shaolina over you, since it's her first language and all
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Onward to: Chapter 44: Tournaments And Treachery
Back to: Chapter 42: Que Sara, Sara
Return to: Table of Contents
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Chapter 43: Sine Qua Non
ZeldaQueen: Right. In our last chapter, the Sue angsted and angsted and the Suethor failed by logic and politics forever. We start off with a short paragraph, which is all the summarizing of how excited Holly is for Moody's class. Given that Holly had forewarning about him and his occupation, there's not nearly as much mystery surrounding the guy.
We go through a laundry list of classes that Holly has in the meantime. For Divination, the Suethor tries to add her own "clever" "improvements" to Trelawny's prediction that Holly was born in midwinter. I'm sure you remember that bit from canon? This is what it is here
"Trelawney was practically giddy as she announced that Holly was certainly born in midwinter due to her dark hair, tragic losses, and lack of height. She deflated when Theo blithely informed her that his friend was born in July. And further still when Milli and he commented in false undertones on how Holly was the most famous witch in Britain, not to mention one of Trelawney's students. How could the woman not know her birthday? It was practically a national holiday"
ZeldaQueen: I love how the Suethor took what was a passing joke and managed to use it to both bash Trelawny and praise Holly to the high heavens. Her birthday is practically a "national holiday"? I...I don't think I can comment properly on that amount of arrogance.
Although I have to ask, why couldn't Holly have told her this? Harry was the one to correct Trelawny in canon. Is Holly so delicate and better that she can't be bothered to sully herself, correcting the peons? It reminds me of Spoony's review of New Moon and his point about how codependent Bella is, that even though she has her own truck, she is never the one to drive herself anywhere. Apparently Holly is so codependent and useless that she can't even tell someone when her own birthday is.
We then devote one paragraph to both Arithmancy and Care of Magical Creatures, the latter of which is used to bash Hagrid. This goes to show how hateful the Sues are - keep in mind that, as with canon, Hagrid is using the Blasted-EndSkrewts, creatures so potentially dangerous that even Hermione agreed with Malfoy that they should be gotten rid of. Perhaps it's because the only description of them we get is that the class "was a trial in and of itself, featuring a brand new species he had crossbred himself. But that sounded far more fascinating than the Blast-Ended Skrewts actually were. As far as Holly and most of Slytherin were concerned, the things were dangerous and should be stamped out for the safety of everyone. After all, who wouldn't want a pet that could bite, burn, sting, and suction all at the same time?" It just makes them sound arrogantly bored and we're never given a good description of the Skrewts. Also, I have to ask, how would Holly know that the Skrewts were crossbred? No one found that out until Rita ran her article.
On to Transfiguration! "Transfiguration was actually an improvement, which didn't really say much. Holly managed to successfully change her badger into a tea kettle, and hers didn't even have any whiskers on it. Not that McGonagall gave her any points or anything. But at least hers didn't try to attack her with an angry burst of steam like Ernie Macmillan's did". You know, if Holly ever acts genuinely kind or grateful towards any character that isn't on her Toadie list, I might have a heart attack and die.
We're then told that she had Ancient Runes, though all that's said is that it was an easy recapping of what they already learned. You know, she also described Arithmancy as being really easy. You don't suppose she's having her Sue-classes be dumbed down, hmm? Nah! Oh, and she partners with Gavin in Herbology and they both get twenty points for repotting a plant. I can only assume that's twenty points apiece, as they're in separate Houses, which seems kind of excessive if you ask me.
And now, we get to Moody's class! I don't think I can do it justice with summarizing, so on to the sporking we go!
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They heard the distinctive sound of Moody's fake leg clinking against the ground soon after.
ZeldaQueen: He was rehearsing for Dancing With the Stars. It was fantastic
He entered the classroom and stalked up the biggest row without a word, remaining silent until he was all the way to the front.
ZeldaQueen: I'm such a better person for knowing that!
"Books away," he barked. "You won't need them. Not in this class. They're for outside reading only."
ZeldaQueen: And the point of that addition was what, exactly? The did use their books in class, just not that one
He pulled out a parchment and went through the roll, eye whirling to each student as they were called. Moody paused at Holly's name, both eyes moving to her for a fraction of a second. She felt a twinge in the back of her mind then but dismissed it as nerves. Besides, there was something bizarre about this man. Vaguely unnerving. She supposed that had something to do with his appearance. Or perhaps simply his bearing. Like he expected to be attacked at any moment, magic eye constantly whirling.
ZeldaQueen: SUBTLE FORESHADOWING!!!
Moody was quick to do a review after the roll. Just a check of what Remus' notes had said they'd covered. He seemed mildly impressed with all the creatures they'd gone over, but it was clear that he thought Remus had skimped on the curses and other Dark Arts. Especially the most important three.
ZeldaQueen: I love how the suethor is just gliding over his eccentric demeanor and how impressive he seemed. Also, she skipped his magic eye. I know it's not vital to the plot that we know it can look through stuff, but it still was interesting and gave him a sense of authority. Nope, we just skip right ahead to the Unforgivables
"So do any of you know which curses are most heavily punished by law?" he questioned, real eye scanning them as several hands slowly raised. "You, Nott."
"The three Unforgivables," Theo replied with a blink.
The professor gave a sharp nod.
ZeldaQueen: (Moody) "I thought you'd know. Your Death Eater father used all three during his tenure in the service of the Dark Lord"
"Which are?" He pointed at Draco. "Malfoy."
"The Cruciatus curse," Draco answered, meeting Moody's gaze with a cool look.
ZeldaQueen: I love how Malfoy isn't bothered by talking about the torture curse. Also, way to ruin the character development this had in canon. This was the start of when we were introduced to Neville's tragic backstory, for heaven's sake!
"The pain curse. Don't need screws
ZeldaQueen: Isn't it thumb screws?
or knives for that." Moody's normal eye narrowed. "You would know that one," he grunted out
ZeldaQueen: Dude, go to the bathroom for that!
And why would Malfoy know that one? In canon, Moody said that line to Ron, about the Imperius curse!
but turned away to reach into his pocket.
ZeldaQueen: That a wand in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?
He pulled out a glass jar with a spider in it. "Needs to be bigger."
ZeldaQueen: Right. Now I regret my previous joke
He tapped the spider, and it grew to the size of a dinner plate before Moody set in on the desk. He jerked his wand towards it. "Crucio."
The spider jolted and twitched. Its legs curled in on themselves, practically snapping from the force of the motion. It rocked from side to side, as though trying to escape the agony. And Holly knew that had it been able to, the spider would've been screaming. Moody simply watched it for a minute and lifted the spell. He deposited the now shrunken spider back in its jar, and Holly saw that it was still trembling before he put in away.
ZeldaQueen: Again, where's the emotion? This is just empty!
Everyone stared at him wide-eyed as he moved to call on Milli.
"You, girl, give me another one."
"Er... the Imperius curse." Her voice was hesitant. Almost afraid.
ZeldaQueen: Again, why? In canon, there were reasons that Ron and Neville were the ones to name those curses - they were the ones who knew about them! Has Millicent had some run-ins with Imperius? Is there a reason she's afraid of it?
Moody nodded like he approved. He produced another spider, but he didn't enlarge this one. Just cursed it and made it dance around like a demented jumping bean. The Slytherins all watched, equal parts fascinated and horrified. Moody didn't seem to care that they flinched when he put the spider away.
ZeldaQueen: Ah yes, that was just the Suethor fixing things. In canon, the idiot Gryffindors thought that Imperius was harmless and funny. Nope, the Slytherins are smart. They catch on right away at how terrible it is!
"Imperius, the mind control curse. Can make someone do anything," he said in that gruff tone. "Attack their friends. Murder their children. Anything! Ministry had a load of problems the last war. So many people cursed. Or claiming to be at any rate." His attention flickered to Draco. "But it can be fought. Guarded against. I'll be teaching you how, but it takes real strength of character, and not everyone's got it. The best defence is not to be cursed. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"
ZeldaQueen: (Moody) "I'm. Talking in brief. Fragmented sentences. No idea why. Shouting stuff for no reason. Pointless, really. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"
They jumped.
ZeldaQueen: And did the Michigan Rag
"The last one?" Moody barked.
ZeldaQueen: Oh look, he's turning into a dog!
Holly raised her hand defiantly. "The Killing curse. Avada Kedavra." She stared straight into his face, ignoring Blaise when he nudged her.
ZeldaQueen: *bored* Oh, look at how brave she is. That loser Harry never wanted to talk about or knew about the curse that murdered his family. Isn't she so unaffected? Little sociopath
Moody stared right back with both eyes. "Yes, the Killing curse."
A smile twisted his mouth as he pulled out his last spider. It skittered across the top of his desk. Like it knew exactly what was coming.
"Avada Kedavra." Moody's voice an almost hiss, though still very audible.
ZeldaQueen: Yes Suethor, we know that you know that Moody is really evil! Stop dropping anvil-sized hints on us!
A rush of green light flew at the spider and connected. It fell over dead. No marks. No signs. No life. Nothing.
ZeldaQueen: Damn, it's so powerful that it sucked all life out of this fic as well!
"That's it, folks. Not nice. Or pleasant. And no countercurse. There's no blocking it. Only one person to survive that, and she's sitting in this class." Moody didn't even need to point for them to know who he meant.
ZeldaQueen: *rolls eyes* Of course, everyone knows about Holly
Holly stiffened.
ZeldaQueen: Not the time to get horny, dear
A memory of green light and a horrible shriek filled her ears. Louder and louder and louder still. The sweeping rush of death. But then, she felt a hand find hers under the table and squeeze. Hard. She came back to herself in a flash and let out the breath she hadn't even been aware she was holding. She glanced to her right and gave Blaise a grateful grin.
ZeldaQueen: FUCK YOU, YOU BITCH, DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO PLAY FOR SYMPATHY! YOU BRING YOUR PARENTS BACK FROM THE DEAD TO SING YOUR PRAISES AND APPARENTLY THEY AREN'T SO DEAR THAT YOU WERE THIS AFFECTED BY THE DEMENTORS LAST YEAR AND YOUR PATRONUS IS YOUR FUCKING BOYFRIEND INSTEAD OF YOUR PARENTS AND YOU CAN'T SPEND TEN SECONDS BEING UPSET IN THE LEAST WITHOUT SOMEONE HOLDING YOUR HAND AND SPARING YOUR DELICATE FEELINGS AND GOOD LORD, I HATE YOU SO MUCH!
"Avada Kedavra needs powerful magic behind it," Moody was saying as she turned back to him. "You lot could all get your wands out now and point them at me and say the words, but I doubt I'd get so much as a nosebleed.
ZeldaQueen: Given how hateful these guys are, I doubt that
But that doesn't matter. I'm not here to teach you how to do it." He scanned the room. "There's no countercurse to any of them, so why am I showing you? So you can be forewarned. Forearmed. So you won't find yourselves in a situation facing them. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"
They all jumped again. Holly thought that he just enjoyed seeing them do that.
ZeldaQueen: Thank you, Captain Obvious!
Moody went to the board then and waved his wand. Writing appeared, an overview of the three curses and the Ministry's punishment for them.
ZeldaQueen: Erm, punishment is a life sentence in Azkaban. Pretty basic, really
They were all quick to grab their quills, and Moody continued speaking as they hurriedly wrote it all down. They spent the rest of the class doing much the same. None of the Slytherins dared speak until the bell. Not even to each other. And they were all quick to pack up their things when he dismissed them. Even quicker to head for the door.
ZeldaQueen: Good to know they have such respect for the guy who undoubtedly put some of their parents in Azkaban and arrested even more
Holly was the last to leave, just behind Blaise. Her attention flicked to Moody as she exited, and she saw him studying her in return. Face thoughtful and chin lifted. She left before he could call her back and hurried after her friends, the dying screams of her mother still echoing in her ears.
ZeldaQueen: Let's see, SUBTLE FORESHADOWING, angst, sap, fragments, that's just about everything!
--------------------------------
ZeldaQueen: We then jump to Holly getting a letter from Dumbledore, about some urgent matter. Holly wigs out and her friends instantly try to shelter her feelings. This is interrupted by the arrival Blaise's cousin, Alé. She might have been mentioned before, but I honestly can't remember. This fic's original characters are impossibly bland and useless. Anyway, she tells them that the Ravenclaw House is having a school-wide, girl's only sleepover, because girls like girly things like that. Apparently it's to be a treat for the younger students, who can't enter the tournament. And I'm not lying, ladies and gentlemen, when I first read that, I had forgotten that the tournament had been announced to the student body and wondered how the heck this girl knew about it.
All of the girls present agree and Blaise's cousin walks off and everyone instantly starts to gossip about the sleepover. Pansy says snidely "I can hardly imagine Granger or the youngest Weasley going". Yes, because heaven forbid they don't trust you guys. Holly remembers that there was Important News from Dumbledore and sets off to his office.
We jump to there, and there's a lot of puttering around before Dumbledore properly explains things to her. Apparently Nicolas Flamel and his wife had recently passed away. Holly, understandably, is confuzzled by this. And then, we get an asspull from the Suethor, for no reason at all
"The old man sighed and gazed at her with tired eyes. 'They lived until just this last summer. Far longer than they had originally believed without the elixir to sustain them. As to your other question, I am telling you this because you are named in their will. You are actually one of the main beneficiaries."'
The Slytherin felt her mouth go dry. Even as her stomach settled somewhere near her ankles.
'What?' It came out a half-strangled squeak.
'You are one of the main beneficiaries of their will,' he repeated. 'As am I. Both of us inherit from them. Quite a lot in fact.'
Holly covered her mouth with her hand and stared at him like she'd never seen anything like him before. Her mind was racing. Doing its utmost to find some logic in what he'd just told her. It didn't make any sense. No sense at all. She didn't even know these people!
'But why?' Holly finally managed to ask, voice sounding surprisingly calm. 'They never even met me. I don't know them.'
'You never even met them either, my dear, but you tried to save the Stone from Voldemort,' Dumbledore responded softly. He looked rather old in that moment, old but still alive and feeling. 'You tried to help them without knowing them.'
'But I wasn't trying to help them,' she argued. 'I was just keeping it away from Voldemort. They never really factored into it.'
The headmaster shook his head. 'They did. I assure you that they did. One of the first things you asked me after that terrible day was what would happen to them, and you were so upset when you learned that they would die. Nicholas and his wife were quite surprised when I told them this.'"
ZeldaQueen: Dumbledore, Holly is right, for a change. She shouldn't be in the will. She did nothing to deserve it. Harry also tried to selflessly save the Stone from Voldemort. Hell, he did more than she did! She was kidnapped and bound the entire time! If anything, Blaise, Ron, and Hermione ought to be in the will! THEY WENT DOWN TO RESCUE HER! SHE DID SHIT TO STOP QUIRRELL! WHAT, IS SHE GETTING ALL THIS MONEY AND WHATNOT BECAUSE SHE SHOWED CONCERN THAT SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE? IF THAT'S ALL IT TOOK, THERE'D BE MORE MILLIONAIRES IN THIS WORLD!
GOD!!!
I...I don't even!
Okay. Okay. Let's just get past this. Right. Holly asks if the Flamels had any other living relatives, and Dumbledore said that they did have grandchildren and great-grandchildren, including Sirius. And these folks are being passed over in favor of Holly, why? Holly insists that there must be someone more deserving than her, and while it's standard Mary Sue Fake Modesty, I still agree. Dumbledore says "There isn't anyone more deserving. The Flamels certainly didn't think so, and neither do I" and "Nicholas wanted to ensure that their work would be put to good use. They knew that they could trust you with it. That you would not misuse what was given to you. Just as you did not misuse the Stone". HOW COULD SHE HAVE MISUSED THE STONE? SHE HAD IT FOR ALL OF TWO SECONDS!
Incidentally, dear viewers, I looked back over that bit of this fic. The entire thing was summarized in a flashback, so we never get to see her making the conscious decision to lie to Voldemort to protect the stone. About half of a sentence is devoted to her being told that the only way she got the stone was that she wanted it but wouldn't use it. And she only spends two sentences asking about the fates of the Flamels. Yes, she certainly sounds deserving of a fortune.
Finally, Dumbledore convinces her to take the damned inheritance and she asks what she got. "Books. Notes. Artefacts. A few other intriguing things. And gold. You'll most certainly get that". I already screamed at this, folks. I'm just ignoring it all, this time around.
Jump to the next section, when Blaise is going on about how Holly certainly is richer than King Solomon now! GAH! We're told that apparently Blaise, Ron, and Hermione were also left some gold, just not nearly as much. *hates* There's a lot of gushing over the cool alchemy notes she got and she angsts about how she wishes she could have thanked the Flamels before they died.
Blaise decides to cheer her up with a dueling session and suggests that she go to Moody for pointers. There's SUBTLE FORESHADOWING about how there's something about him that makes Holly nervous, and she mentions that he has perfect mind shielding. Ah, so that's how the Suethor is hand waving her creation's blatant idiocy. I was wondering. Holly decides to give it a few weeks to see if she gets over this nervousness around him. WHAT IS IT WITH THIS IDIOT AND WAITING TO SEE IF BAD THINGS GO AWAY??? There's also more SUBTLE FORESHADOWING as Holly talks about how she's half-convinced that Moody will try one of the Unforgivables on them.
One "amusing" cut later, and we're suddenly at the class in which Moody casts Imperius on the class. All of Holly's friends go on about how horrible the idea is and how they can't believe Dumbledore approved of it, blah, blah, blah. I'm not looking forward to Holly showing off.
We then get a laundry list of what everyone's forced to do while under the curse. And folks, it's really apparent that the Suethor knows that Moody is actually a Bad Guy
"Their professor was determined to put all of them through their paces and called them up one by one. Vincent was the first to fall, forced to imitate a rooster and then a crocodile. Greg was next, doing cartwheels in an entire circuit around the room. Daphne sang a rather good rendition of "God Save the Queen" while gurgling water, and Pansy did an impressive pantomime of waltzing followed by a tap-dance. Moody seemed to take an almost sadistic sort of glee in making Draco strip to his underthings and turn all his clothes inside out before putting them back on. And Holly swore that he almost laughed when he forced Theo into thinking that he was really the lead singer of the Weird Sisters"
ZeldaQueen: Subtlety, thy name is not"Lady Azar de Tameran"
Then it's Holly's turn. Joy. She's put under the curse and guess what? Her stupid Mind Magic is brought up again. That's why she is able to resist the commands. Her mental shields or whatnot. She really sucks - Harry fought it through sheer willpower. But oh wait, she's clearly better! She doesn't weaken and halfway jump into the desk, like Harry did. Bah. Oh, and Blaise goes after her and is kinda-sorta able to hold off. Gee, I wonder why? Holly starts to angst about how Moody might figure out her secret.
Thankfully, we're saved by a change of subject! The Triwizard Tournament is going to start soon! Really! At this rate, I'm wondering how the Suethor is filling up so many chapters. Holly and her friends are able to instantly remember that Krum goes to Durmstrung and that he's still in school because they're That Much Better and wonder if he's going to be in the group that arrives. Holly gets all dreamy-eyed over Krum and there's some "delightful" banter over her crushing on him instead of Blaise. Fred and George show up and go on about their plan to enter. There's heavy-handed foreshadowing about how they need money for their joke items, which makes no sense, because we never were told about their ambition to run a joke shop.
The chapter ends with the group walking off and Holly feeling "a spike of dread shoot down her spine". No dear, that's just the sporkers making short work of you
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Sine Qua Non: Without Which Not. Or "something which is necessary or cannot be done without."
ZeldaQueen: I should start a tally for the useless chapter titles. Is it supposed to be referring to her mind shield? If so, that's really a weak connection. You know, like the other chapter titles!!!
Oh, and get ready for this next bit, ladies and gents. Remember how I mentioned before that the Suethor wasn't totally oblivious to how obnoxious her Mary Sue was? Well...this is her defense. Seriously. Ready?
AN: So I was messing around on Google and typed in my author name. Apparently, I'm on the best of the worst list for "Potter-Sue" from way back in 2005. Even I admit that my version of this story was horrible back then. Made me laugh for hours in remembrance.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, that's honestly her defense. "Oh, she was really bad before, but she's fine now!" And that's in the A/N for the chapter that has Holly getting a pointless inheritance and using her noncanon mind powers to protect herself and her best friend from mindrape.
*snorts*
HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Oh dear lord, I needed that! *wipes tears*
Also, I've had several people critiquing me on my use of Spanish. First of all, Blaise speaks Spanish because Dante does - his sister lives there. He hasn't actively spoken Italian since he was very small, but he is constantly exposed to Spanish through his papa.
ZeldaQueen: Okay, so could you be bothered to explain that in the story itself? I don't recall Dante speaking nearly that much gratuitous Spanish
Second, adding "ito" or "ita" to certain words denotes something that is little. For example, pero means dog, while perito means little dog or (sometimes) puppy. Third, Blaise says "Te amo" because this verb does not necessarily have a sexual connotation. "Te quiero" almost always does.
ZeldaQueen: Given Shaolina's testimony, you're as factually accurate as English, She is Spoken. And I'm going to be believing Shaolina over you, since it's her first language and all
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Onward to: Chapter 44: Tournaments And Treachery
Back to: Chapter 42: Que Sara, Sara
Return to: Table of Contents