Marked: Chapter 11
ZeldaQueen: Happy Super Bowl Sunday, everyone! Let's kick this off with some more idiotic plotless story!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 11
ZeldaQueen: We are treated to the excitement of Zoey sleeping, after she spends some time worrying about the cut on her head, her throbbing Mark, and the possibility of getting a zit. She dreams about an orange cat with tiny paws and a pot belly which talks in an old lady's voice, "asking what had taken me so long to get here". *sighs* At least it's not Romeo and Juliet. Then the cat starts beeping and it's actually her alarm clock, which I do sympathize with. She gets up and is all sleepy and grumpy until she realizes that there's the prospect of getting some cereal for breakfast. And then...oh lord
"I especially love Count Chocula-yet another vampyre irony"
ZeldaQueen: I assure you, folks, I was temporarily struck dumb at that. I'm honestly not sure if this is a parody or not. I do wonder if she'll eat it with blood instead of milk and with a glass of red blood?
For some reason, Zoey takes forever to fix up her hair and make-up. We get a random mention of how her eyes have such thick lashes and we get the first mention of Kayla in however long. Remember Kayla, her best friend who she hasn't spoken about once? There's a brief aside in which she considers e-mailing her, and then remembers that apparently she and Heath were up to shenanigans and decides to not contact Kayla after all. Keep this in mind for later. All I'll comment on at the moment is that I have no idea how the fuck the Cast ladies expect us to believe she misses Kayla so much when (A) she hasn't even mentioned Kayla since...chapter three I believe and (B) WE WERE NEVER GIVEN ANY SORT OF KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT THEIR FRIENDSHIP WAS LIKE BEFORE ZOEY WAS MARKED!
Right. So we're treated to Zoey being very condescending about how people wear make-up, particularly how "loser girls" put on too much black eyeliner and look like "scary raccoons". We're then treated to an extensive description of the bronzing powder, black eyeshadow with silver sparkles, mascara, and lip gloss that Zoey plasters all over herself. Jesus Christ, why don't we hear all about the Triforce patterns on her earrings and the black mini-skirt with fishnet stockings, while we're at it. Ms and Ms Cast were aware that they just wasted space that could have been used for perfectly good plot, right?
And then, oh fuck me!
"The effect my Mark had on my face hadn't faded. It made everything that was ethnic about my features stand out: the darkness of my eyes, my high Cherokee cheekbones, my proud, straight nose, and even the olive color of my skin that was like my grandma's. The sapphire Mark of the Goddess seemed to have flipped a switch and spotlighted those features; it had freed the Cherokee girl within me and allowed her to shine"
ZeldaQueen: PC. Kristen. Ladies. Please. For the love of God, give Zoey some characterization beyond her ethnicity!
And I've read ahead, I know how she "saves the day", and it really makes me pissed off about the "magical Native American" thing that won't die.
At this point, Stevie Rae comes out and compliments Zoey's hair, because that's a girly thing to do, I guess. Apparently when Stevie Rae's hair grows out, it gets all frizzly and "looks like a horse's tail". Apparently this makes her sooo freakish because it seems that vampires all have fast-growing hair, along with fingernails. That's funny, you'd think if hair and nails grew that fast, Zoey would have noticed it. And yes, I'm annoyed, because as trivial as it might seem, something like really fast-growing hair and nails could be yet another thing to get used to. The Darren Shane series commented on how small adjustments had to be made to one's life to deal with very long, sharp fingernails. All we get here is a passing mention.
For some reason, Stevie Rae goes on about the class symbols and how Zoey will recognize them soon enough (you know, the symbols which made little sense and were quite tasteless?), before presenting Zoey with her class schedule. The first thing Zoey notices is that she won't have to take geometry. Oh wow, a callback to something from the first few chapters, which hasn't been referenced in forever! The second thing she notices is that one of the classes is "Intro to Equestrian Studies". Stevie Rae explains that it's one of the classes used to keep the students in shape, along with fencing (which Zoey has as well) and Tai Kwan Do. Okay, I amend my previous statement, there is a reason for the Tai Kwan Do being taught. I'm not feeling very generous though, because I know for a fact that nothing comes of her taking it, even though it would be the perfect Chekov's Skill.
This then brings us to what Zoey will pick for her second period electives, since everyone gets a choice. Apparently Stevie Rae is taking Intro to Music because the teacher is nice and because her greatest ambition in life is to be a country music star (OH WHY NOT?) She mentions that Faith Hill, Shania Twain, Garth Brooks, and Kenny Chesney all are vampires, so there's no reason she can't make it. How inspirational! I just find it hilarious to imagine that a guy who made famous a song called "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" is also drinking blood and hiding from the sun.
Zoey says that she thinks she'll take the drama class, because she took Drama back at her old high school and loved it. Yet again, this would carry more weight if we were shown any of her taking Drama in her past life, or any sign that she liked Drama at all, for that matter. Stevie Rae says that the teacher, one Professor Nolan, is nice but is also from Texas and has a very heavy accent. Oh lord preserve me... *rubs face* Zoey is then a bitch and goes on about how she nearly laughed at that, because Stevie Rae "twanged so bad she sounded like an ad for a trailer park"
WHAT IS THE POINT TO THIS? I THINK I AM GOING TO KILL SOMETHING. PREFERABLY THIS PILE OF SHIT
*shakes head* It only gets dumber, ladies and gentlemen. So Stevie Rae and Zoey head off for the dining hall, and along the way we get Zoey reflecting on how she thinks that she still just wants to be a veterinarian. Again, we got one mention of this back at the beginning of this tripe, and no signs of her showing the slightest interest in it beyond that. Granted, we do see a few bits about her liking animals, but still, there's little to show she wants a career based around them!
We get to the dining hall, where Zoey begins to channel Bella again, complaining about how hard it is that Stevie Rae introduces her to a number of girls because she's expected to talk to them, and it's so difficult to hold a conversation while finding a box of Count Chocula!
At this point, Aphrodite shows up because hey, we've gone this long without the Scary Sue so why not fix that? She starts going on all bitchily to Zoey about of course they'll have fun at this Dark Daughters Ritual and they'll feed her dinner and the two of them can walk to it after the school's ritual.
I might as well take a moment to explain this. It might just be me, but I think the Casts did a terrible job explaining it - there are two rituals that Zoey is attending. The first is a school-wide one, which reads like a cross between a church service and a Spirit Assembly (in case my school is the only one that does that, Spirit Assemblies are when the entire student body is crammed into the gym, the marching band plays, clubs and groups are acknowledged for their achievements, and we all play games, win stuff, and get to skip our last class of the day. For some reason, everyone hated those. I have no idea why, I thought they were sweet). Anyway, Dark Daughters have their own mini-ritual thing that Zoey is supposed to go to after the school one.
Anywho, Zoey immediately starts to act all perky and clueless and goes on about how she's already agreed to go with Stevie Rae, and Stevie Rae immediately gets in on it and is all pretend-perky about how of course she'd help Zoey, and it's so stupid, I can't believe this was published.
Aphrodite walks off in a huff and Zoey comments that "If she shakes her butt any more when she walks she's gonna break something". Stevie Rae has a laugh at this, and immediately starts going on about how brave Zoey was to stand up to Aphrodite like that! Um, no. No she was not. Aphrodite was annoying, not evil.
Also, I must point this out now, Stevie Rae seems to get over her fear of Aphrodite pretty damned quickly. I do know what Aphrodite did to her and we will find out, and it's something that does have potential to make someone scared, especially if that person is supposed to be all innocent. That being said, besides that token cringing we got before, Stevie Rae pretty much shows no more fear around Aphrodite after this, at least none that would indicate the level of abuse that's being suggested. So what, was this supposed to be the huge turning point for Stevie Rae's character? If so, that's got to be the lamest turn-around I've ever read.
And then...bam. We're at the end of breakfast and they're running off for first period. Apparently Stevie Rae's classroom is right next to Zoey's, and they both are having Vampire Sociology. Heads up folks - that class is stupid. There's a brief mention of how odd it is that Zoey is so quickly adjusting to being nocturnal. Yeah, obstacles are for losers! For some reason, we get a prominent mention of where the bathroom is. Oh wait, it's a set-up for another joke about Zoey possibly getting diarrhea on her first day. Methinks the Cast ladies have issues.
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Onward to: Chapter 12
Back to: Chapter 10
Back to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 11
ZeldaQueen: We are treated to the excitement of Zoey sleeping, after she spends some time worrying about the cut on her head, her throbbing Mark, and the possibility of getting a zit. She dreams about an orange cat with tiny paws and a pot belly which talks in an old lady's voice, "asking what had taken me so long to get here". *sighs* At least it's not Romeo and Juliet. Then the cat starts beeping and it's actually her alarm clock, which I do sympathize with. She gets up and is all sleepy and grumpy until she realizes that there's the prospect of getting some cereal for breakfast. And then...oh lord
"I especially love Count Chocula-yet another vampyre irony"
ZeldaQueen: I assure you, folks, I was temporarily struck dumb at that. I'm honestly not sure if this is a parody or not. I do wonder if she'll eat it with blood instead of milk and with a glass of red blood?
For some reason, Zoey takes forever to fix up her hair and make-up. We get a random mention of how her eyes have such thick lashes and we get the first mention of Kayla in however long. Remember Kayla, her best friend who she hasn't spoken about once? There's a brief aside in which she considers e-mailing her, and then remembers that apparently she and Heath were up to shenanigans and decides to not contact Kayla after all. Keep this in mind for later. All I'll comment on at the moment is that I have no idea how the fuck the Cast ladies expect us to believe she misses Kayla so much when (A) she hasn't even mentioned Kayla since...chapter three I believe and (B) WE WERE NEVER GIVEN ANY SORT OF KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT THEIR FRIENDSHIP WAS LIKE BEFORE ZOEY WAS MARKED!
Right. So we're treated to Zoey being very condescending about how people wear make-up, particularly how "loser girls" put on too much black eyeliner and look like "scary raccoons". We're then treated to an extensive description of the bronzing powder, black eyeshadow with silver sparkles, mascara, and lip gloss that Zoey plasters all over herself. Jesus Christ, why don't we hear all about the Triforce patterns on her earrings and the black mini-skirt with fishnet stockings, while we're at it. Ms and Ms Cast were aware that they just wasted space that could have been used for perfectly good plot, right?
And then, oh fuck me!
"The effect my Mark had on my face hadn't faded. It made everything that was ethnic about my features stand out: the darkness of my eyes, my high Cherokee cheekbones, my proud, straight nose, and even the olive color of my skin that was like my grandma's. The sapphire Mark of the Goddess seemed to have flipped a switch and spotlighted those features; it had freed the Cherokee girl within me and allowed her to shine"
ZeldaQueen: PC. Kristen. Ladies. Please. For the love of God, give Zoey some characterization beyond her ethnicity!
And I've read ahead, I know how she "saves the day", and it really makes me pissed off about the "magical Native American" thing that won't die.
At this point, Stevie Rae comes out and compliments Zoey's hair, because that's a girly thing to do, I guess. Apparently when Stevie Rae's hair grows out, it gets all frizzly and "looks like a horse's tail". Apparently this makes her sooo freakish because it seems that vampires all have fast-growing hair, along with fingernails. That's funny, you'd think if hair and nails grew that fast, Zoey would have noticed it. And yes, I'm annoyed, because as trivial as it might seem, something like really fast-growing hair and nails could be yet another thing to get used to. The Darren Shane series commented on how small adjustments had to be made to one's life to deal with very long, sharp fingernails. All we get here is a passing mention.
For some reason, Stevie Rae goes on about the class symbols and how Zoey will recognize them soon enough (you know, the symbols which made little sense and were quite tasteless?), before presenting Zoey with her class schedule. The first thing Zoey notices is that she won't have to take geometry. Oh wow, a callback to something from the first few chapters, which hasn't been referenced in forever! The second thing she notices is that one of the classes is "Intro to Equestrian Studies". Stevie Rae explains that it's one of the classes used to keep the students in shape, along with fencing (which Zoey has as well) and Tai Kwan Do. Okay, I amend my previous statement, there is a reason for the Tai Kwan Do being taught. I'm not feeling very generous though, because I know for a fact that nothing comes of her taking it, even though it would be the perfect Chekov's Skill.
This then brings us to what Zoey will pick for her second period electives, since everyone gets a choice. Apparently Stevie Rae is taking Intro to Music because the teacher is nice and because her greatest ambition in life is to be a country music star (OH WHY NOT?) She mentions that Faith Hill, Shania Twain, Garth Brooks, and Kenny Chesney all are vampires, so there's no reason she can't make it. How inspirational! I just find it hilarious to imagine that a guy who made famous a song called "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" is also drinking blood and hiding from the sun.
Zoey says that she thinks she'll take the drama class, because she took Drama back at her old high school and loved it. Yet again, this would carry more weight if we were shown any of her taking Drama in her past life, or any sign that she liked Drama at all, for that matter. Stevie Rae says that the teacher, one Professor Nolan, is nice but is also from Texas and has a very heavy accent. Oh lord preserve me... *rubs face* Zoey is then a bitch and goes on about how she nearly laughed at that, because Stevie Rae "twanged so bad she sounded like an ad for a trailer park"
WHAT IS THE POINT TO THIS? I THINK I AM GOING TO KILL SOMETHING. PREFERABLY THIS PILE OF SHIT
*shakes head* It only gets dumber, ladies and gentlemen. So Stevie Rae and Zoey head off for the dining hall, and along the way we get Zoey reflecting on how she thinks that she still just wants to be a veterinarian. Again, we got one mention of this back at the beginning of this tripe, and no signs of her showing the slightest interest in it beyond that. Granted, we do see a few bits about her liking animals, but still, there's little to show she wants a career based around them!
We get to the dining hall, where Zoey begins to channel Bella again, complaining about how hard it is that Stevie Rae introduces her to a number of girls because she's expected to talk to them, and it's so difficult to hold a conversation while finding a box of Count Chocula!
At this point, Aphrodite shows up because hey, we've gone this long without the Scary Sue so why not fix that? She starts going on all bitchily to Zoey about of course they'll have fun at this Dark Daughters Ritual and they'll feed her dinner and the two of them can walk to it after the school's ritual.
I might as well take a moment to explain this. It might just be me, but I think the Casts did a terrible job explaining it - there are two rituals that Zoey is attending. The first is a school-wide one, which reads like a cross between a church service and a Spirit Assembly (in case my school is the only one that does that, Spirit Assemblies are when the entire student body is crammed into the gym, the marching band plays, clubs and groups are acknowledged for their achievements, and we all play games, win stuff, and get to skip our last class of the day. For some reason, everyone hated those. I have no idea why, I thought they were sweet). Anyway, Dark Daughters have their own mini-ritual thing that Zoey is supposed to go to after the school one.
Anywho, Zoey immediately starts to act all perky and clueless and goes on about how she's already agreed to go with Stevie Rae, and Stevie Rae immediately gets in on it and is all pretend-perky about how of course she'd help Zoey, and it's so stupid, I can't believe this was published.
Aphrodite walks off in a huff and Zoey comments that "If she shakes her butt any more when she walks she's gonna break something". Stevie Rae has a laugh at this, and immediately starts going on about how brave Zoey was to stand up to Aphrodite like that! Um, no. No she was not. Aphrodite was annoying, not evil.
Also, I must point this out now, Stevie Rae seems to get over her fear of Aphrodite pretty damned quickly. I do know what Aphrodite did to her and we will find out, and it's something that does have potential to make someone scared, especially if that person is supposed to be all innocent. That being said, besides that token cringing we got before, Stevie Rae pretty much shows no more fear around Aphrodite after this, at least none that would indicate the level of abuse that's being suggested. So what, was this supposed to be the huge turning point for Stevie Rae's character? If so, that's got to be the lamest turn-around I've ever read.
And then...bam. We're at the end of breakfast and they're running off for first period. Apparently Stevie Rae's classroom is right next to Zoey's, and they both are having Vampire Sociology. Heads up folks - that class is stupid. There's a brief mention of how odd it is that Zoey is so quickly adjusting to being nocturnal. Yeah, obstacles are for losers! For some reason, we get a prominent mention of where the bathroom is. Oh wait, it's a set-up for another joke about Zoey possibly getting diarrhea on her first day. Methinks the Cast ladies have issues.
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Onward to: Chapter 12
Back to: Chapter 10
Back to: Table of Contents