That's about enough of that

[zenboiuke]

I love people, I do. I especially love my friends and hate to see them unhappy. But if you make choices that keep you mired in problems, when you have opportunities available to fix your life, then I have no sympathy for you. Sorry, there are just too many people out there who really need help and WANT it--people who are stuck in situations that

Comments

[duathir]

Greetings, Kieran - it is long since I have seen a post of yours; I hope you and your Kin are well

[zenboiuke]

Thank you for your honest words Kir. Of course they're not inappropriate :)

I don't expect people to take my advice and I try not to offer advice when it is not asked for, but I take issue with people who are professional complainers. They are dissatisfied & miserable with so many aspects of their life, but they make little to no effort to take action that would remove them from these unhealthy & unpleasant situations. They self-perpetuate their own misery to a large degree.

When people seek me out and discuss their problems, I listen and then counsel if it feels appropriate to do so. Often the words don't come from me but through me. Whether the person then takes the recommended action is their decision. Sometimes I extend offers of assistance, which they are also under no obligation to accept. The people with whom I am frustrated are the ones who turn to me with their complaints of "I don't know what to do to fix it." and, when suggestions are made, they ignore them and continue to complain as if their concerns were never

[zenboiuke]

There is a difference between venting or explaining troubles to someone, and asking for feedback ABOUT those troubles. We might both benefit from doing our best to differentiate in these circumstances. Before providing suggestions I should first confirm if people want help or if they just want to vent. Perhaps when someone asks you for information about yourself/life situation/state of being, etc, you could preface your reply with a clarification that you're providing the information because they asked, and that you are not necessarily seeking advice or validation.

I'm sorry that you've encountered such judgemental people. It seems that many people have difficulty comprehending situations that they themselves have not experienced.

I hope that you are able to illuminate whatever mysteries have troubled you. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know :)