over passionate

[zenoofelea]

I want to feel free to express that I'm pissed off and when I do im usually overreacting to something but know that I'm overreacting (it feels good). Most people, however, don't trust me when I say I'm in control and get scared of me, which really does piss me off A LOT. This is why I have no girlfriend. People get scared when I express my pissed-

Comments

trust is crucial

[zenoofelea]

I just realized that I need to know that you trust me because I trust you. I rarely express my pissed-off-ness with people I don't trust.

[leeflower]

Children throw temper tantrums because they can't be expected to know any better. They are not liable for their behavior. Adults, on the other hand, are expected to consider how their behavior will affect those they "trust and care about" instead of trying to tell those people that they don't have the right to their own feelings

color me impressed

[zenoofelea]

I just skimmed over these responses and though, at first, i felt betrayed I realized that you've both got some really good points. I am going to take more time to re-read your responses to try to get the most out of them.

If you want someone reserved, patient, and controlled, like I used to be, then I will gladly be that person if you would be willing to talk some more about this.

I really need to know.

please respond here or via e-mail or here if your interested. I find myself on a very tight wire with self respect and self love on one end and compassion and patience for "those I care about" on the other and I wonder if I cant have both.

Re: color me impressed

[leeflower]

Why in heaven's name wouldn't you be able to have both? Do you honestly think that the people in your life who do treat their friends with respect don't have any left with which to respect themselves?

Respect is not some finite resource that you have a certain amount of to spend and then it's gone. And self-respect is certainly not about acting as if others are less worthy of respect than you are.

I don't respect Dana because I found a few respect-crumbs sitting at the bottom of my respect-jar and decided to toss them her way so that she'll talk to me about whatever topic I've decided is worth talking about today. I respect her because she's smart, funny, doing cool things with her life, and a good friend. And in respecting her, I am also respecting myself, because I am treating myself like the sort of person who deserves to have awesome people like Dana in my life. If I did not respect her--and not for what she offers, but for who she is--then in spending time with her, I would be saying to myself and the world that I'm not worth

[kira_amaya]

I'm usually a lurker. I lurk. I don't post. I don't comment. But this is ridiculous. I should note now that I'm calm, breathing normally, have let the initial anger at you calling my friend a jackass and an asshole pass (we'll come back to it). The posting is based in an initial emotional response to what has been said but the post, itself, is not. Be aware of that. Also, to avoid you disregarding the majority of what I say because you feel that I am unable to comment upon you for not knowing you well enough or misperceiving who you are, I'm going to skip all of that and stick with what and how you've said things. If I misconstrue your words that you have typed, I'm sorry but I'm reading them in a way that aligns itself with the other things you've said. One more thing, I'm posting here because I'm hoping a fresh voice on the matter may help you regain perspective and actually push you to pay attention and learn something like you keep stating you want. Disclaimer over

[thesnowysoviet]

Absolutely, completely, and in entire essence the needle-point-precise opposite of the guy I was friends with in our first year. I'm a neutral party here, relatively speaking, so Sean: I've got nothing personally against you, but a lot of my friends do. I'm not entirely sure why, and I certainly don't have a full story so I'm not going to draw any conclusions about anything outside of my own experience.

But man, you have LOST yourself and you'd better get to finding it with a powerful quickness. Don't settle for falsely convincing yourself, either. Really spend some time on it, before life eats you alive.

the opposite guy

[zenoofelea]

dude... the moral of the story. I am not the guy your friends knew a hand full of years ago. I am as found now has I have ever been.

Thats why I fight so hard the people I've grown to care about. I an not going to throw away all those years i spent trying to be a better person because they don't like it.

I need alot more out of my friends than that, and quite frankly my style doesn't look to mix with theirs anyway. Im not saying I want to be the guy that abuses his friends, but I dont want to be the guy they say I should be.

Thanks though