my brain is rebelling
Title: Sweet Tyranny (8/9)
Author: zeppx
Rating: PG
Word Count: 4789
Characters/Pairings: Dean/Cas, Sam/Jess, Gabriel and Jimmy
Spoilers/Warnings: None since it's AU. Mentions of past child abuse and slight homophobia
Summary: Based off the prompt: "Give me a Dean/Cas AU. I want a firefighter!Dean, teacher!Cas…throw in some Gabriel, Jimmy, Anna, Sam/Jess and an adorable, vomit inducing child of theirs. Give me an unremarkable first meeting and awkward shenanigans the second time around. Shake well and serve.
A/N: So yeah...I know. Fail on the updating time again. I got caught up in my big bang and freaking out about the season finale, which also kind of murdered my muse (not Susangel lol) along with everything else. This probably would have been posted about two weeks ago, but I freaked out and clung to it and rewrote some of it because it's the final chapter.
I know it's sudden, but it kind of hit me out of nowhere as well.
There will be an epilogue of course. But this is it. The end.
This chapter was meant to be a bit angstier than it really turned out. Some of this also feels rushed and kind of forced to me since it didn't want to be written, thanks to the angst of the last three episodes of Supernatural and the angst that's going on in my big bang fic. My brain rebelled, it kicked and screamed and just wouldn't do it so yeah...if some of this chapter is absolute shit (which I think most of it is) that's why. Blame the show.
It's probably the most horrible ending as well, but I honestly couldn't think of anything else that I don't already have in the epilogue (which is half written so hopefully there won't be a month wait for it lol).
So, yeah, if it feels rushed...it's cause it is. But I promise the epilogue will be better. And even fluffier.
Enjoy!
++
Continued from here
Castiel wasn't sure how he and Dean had ended up in this position, he'd come home from checking on Jimmy and had sat on the couch for the majority of the night, worrying, wondering. Would Michael and his father show up? Would they try to "cure" him again? It had been years since he'd seen the rest of his family, but they were persistent, driven.
Then Gabriel had called, with news from Michael.
He was here because their father had died four months earlier; it had taken this time for Michael to track them down to be able to tell them.
Castiel couldn't be anything other than shocked. His father may not have been around when he'd been a child, and he may have beaten Castiel for two years. Before then though, he'd been a good father, had loved his children as well as he could have from a distance.
Dean had woken up some time in the middle of the night because of Castiel's pacing. He'd wandered into the dark living room, asking what was wrong, trying to get Castiel to speak about whatever was bothering him but Castiel wasn't ready for it. Was busy feeling the grief over his father, the worry as to why Michael was here when he could have easily called to tell them. Dean had snapped at him over it, and Castiel had snapped back.
Now there was yelling and arm waving and Castiel had no idea how it had come to this.
It was their first true fight, they'd bickered before, Castiel frustrated with Dean's inability to put his dirty laundry in the hamper, Dean frustrated when Castiel spent some of Dean's days off with his brothers instead. They'd never been reduced to actual yelling through, they'd snapped and bitched but had made up about whatever it was later.
Make up sex, according to Dean, was worth it.
Right now though, Castiel wasn't so sure. He couldn't even remember what they were yelling about.
"You know what? Fine. You do whatever the fuck you gotta do Cas, I'm out." Dean snapped, turning away from Castiel and grabbing his keys off the table by the door before disappearing. Castiel blinked, stunned before it all came back to him.
Dean had just left, a familiar feeling crashed into him, the fear of someone he cared deeply for walking out and never coming back. He'd felt it with Gabriel once before and he was going to be damned if he let Dean do the same, especially since it was something Dean would do.
Dean would break himself off from Castiel to spare himself the hurt first, to not be the weak one. Castiel knew how Dean thought, Dean didn't think himself good enough, didn't think himself worthy of any of this, of Castiel's love.
Castiel shook himself out of his stupor and raced for the door, he wasn't going to let Dean take the cowardly way out of this. One little fight wasn't going to be their end simply because Dean was scared and Castiel was confused. Castiel was going to cling like a leech and not let go.
He was at the door of the apartment building when he heard the Impala's engine roar to life; he threw himself out the door shouting, "Dean!"
He was too late though, the Impala was tearing down the street, music blaring out of the open windows. Castiel cursed, fumbled around in his pockets for his phone and dialed Dean's number, only to have it go to voicemail.
"Shit."
"Hello Castiel." Castiel froze in place; his heart jumped and stuttered in his chest. Michael's footsteps moved up behind him, and Castiel schooled his face, subtly changed his posture and turned to look at Michael.
"No, wrong twin Mike." Michael stared at Castiel, his eyes hard and brow creased. Castiel had hated that look as a child; always felt that Michael was judging him for something. Michael's hand came up and settled on Castiel's shoulder, gripping tight as he said, "No, I believe I've got the right twin."
Despite his best efforts not to Castiel looked around, trying to see if there was anyone around him, anyone that could help him at all. There was no one though, it was late and people were at home like he should have been.
Castiel glared up at him, "Michael, let me go. I'm not Cas."
Michael shook his head and sighed as if disappointed, "I know you're not James. I'd know your defiance anywhere Castiel." Castiel jerked against Michael's hold, trying to pull away, put some distance between them.
"Let me go."
"I can't Castiel. You know what our father wanted; you know I have to carry out his wishes."
"No, you don't."
"Castiel-"
"Let. Me. Go!" Castiel jerked back, breaking Michael's grip on his shoulder. Castiel stepped back until he was at the curb, "There is nothing to fix Michael!"
"Castiel you know-"
"No! I thought for years that there was something wrong with me, that I was damaged or broken somehow. That I'd come out wrong, but I know better now. There's nothing for you to fix, there's nothing wrong with me!" Michael took a step forward and Castiel took two back, off the curb and into the street, keeping his distance.
"You might think you need to finish whatever father started but you don't need to. There's nothing to finish, we've been fine without you for years. We don't need you, I don't need you. So just go back to wherever you came from and leave us alone!"
Michael took another step forward while Castiel backed up again, Michael was giving him a pleading look, like he was prepared to get down on his knees and beg if he had to.
"Cassie, please. We're brothers."
Castiel snorted, "You don't get to call me that. And we're not brothers, not anymore, you gave up that right when you stood by and did nothing."
Castiel took another step back, away from Michael's reaching hand.
There was a bright light, Michael shouting his name, a horn and tires squealing and Castiel knew no more.
++
Dean's grip on the steering wheel was tight enough that the leather creaked under his hands. He had no music coming from the speakers, he had been too pissed to put a tape in or find a radio station when the current one had faded into static. For their first fight, it was a pretty epic one, even if Dean couldn't really remember what had been said.
He just knew he was annoyed that Cas thought so little of himself, annoyed that Cas constantly kept part of himself closed off. He was too much like Dean, fought against his emotions and didn't want to talk about them when he should. Cas insisted, much like Dean, to just ignore and move on, pretend it never happened.
Dean had fought him on it tonight though, he could see that something was seriously bothering Cas, knew it wasn't just some little thing that could be easily forgotten. He wanted to know, he wanted to help but he didn't know how if Cas wouldn't let him. Now he kind of understood how Sam felt all the time when he was attempting to help Dean.
Dean glanced at his cellphone on the seat beside him as it buzzed, Cas, flashing across the screen. He hit the ignore button. It buzzed again a few seconds later when a new voicemail before ringing again, this time Jimmy flashing at him. Dean rolled his eyes; of course, Cas would bring his twin into their relationship issues.
The phone buzzed with another voicemail, then with a text from Sam. Followed by another text from Jimmy.
After four calls from Jimmy, three from Gabriel, eight from Sam, two from an unknown number and numerous texts, Dean snatched his phone off the seat and shut the stupid thing off. He just needed to be left alone right now, try to figure out what the hell was going to happen with him and Cas. He knew it was just one fight, but it hadn't been a small one like their other, previous ones. Were they over? Was this the end of Dean's longest and most important relationship?
Was he really willing to give up on it all after all the effort? Was he willing to give up Cas?
"Not likely." Dean muttered, snorting as he turned the Impala around and headed back to town. He'd hang out at Sam's until morning and head back to Cas and work this out. As much as he just wanted to run from this, save himself from the future hurt, he couldn't. Cas meant more to him than that. He could get over his fear for this.
The first thing Dean heard when he let himself into Sam's living room was, "Where the fuck have you been?"
"Was out on a drive."
"All of us have been trying to get in touch with you all night Dean!"
"Yeah, listen Sam, Cas and I had a fight. I'm just gonna crash here okay?"
"No, Dean…listen-"
"What do you mean no?"
"Dean-"
"It's just for one night Sam, you know if you and-"
"Dean!"
"What?"
"Would you shut up for five seconds and let me tell you what's going on?" Dean crossed his arms and stared over at Sam who was glaring at him. Jess was standing just behind Sam in the doorway to the kitchen, watching with wide eyes.
"Well go on then."
"Cas was in an accident." Dean's arms dropped down to his sides, it felt like his heart had just stopped beating and the ground had fallen out from underneath his feet.
"He was hit by a car in front of his apartment." Dean's eyes closed and he took a deep breath. He remembered looking in the rearview mirror before turning the corner, Cas had been standing in the middle of the sidewalk looking like his world was ending. Dean had almost turned around and gone back, but he hadn't. He should have, maybe if he'd been there Cas wouldn't have stepped out into the street for whatever reason. Maybe he'd been going to his car…
"Dean, knock it off. This is one of those things that isn't your fault." Dean sighed, rubbed a hand over his face and asked, "Is he okay?"
"Jimmy said he'll be alright. Broke a leg and some scrapes and bruises, it's not as bad as it could have been."
Dean let out the breath he'd been holding; it wasn't incredibly serious at least. Now, he needed to be there. He needed to apologize and make it up. Funny how an accident could change the perspective on things.
"Want me to drive you there Dean?"
"Nah, Sam. Stay home, I'll call and let you know what's going on." Sam nodded and Dean spun around and walked out the front door. He had no idea how he was going to make this up to Cas, but he would, no matter what it took.
"What do you mean I can't see him?" Dean demanded thirty minutes later, glaring at the nurse standing in front of him. She returned his glare and snapped, "Only family members."
"He's my boyfriend."
She simply crossed her arms and glared at him again, unimpressed.
"Dean?" Dean spun around and rushed down the hallway towards Jimmy. Now that Dean was here in the hospital his earlier calm had gone right out the window. He needed to see Cas, make sure he was okay, see for himself.
"Jimmy! You've gotta let me in to see him. How is he anyway?"
"He's alright Dean. I would let you in but uh…Gabriel is kinda pissed at you."
"Why?"
"Well, you wouldn't answer your phone and Cas told us you two had a fight?" Jimmy's eyebrow went up, a small hint of I will destroy you if you've hurt him in his voice.
"Um…yeah, I don't even know anymore. It was stupid."
Jimmy stared at Dean for a moment, before he said, "You can't push Cas into telling you things."
"Yeah, I kinda figured that one out." Dean had learned that one early on in their relationship, Cas would only talk about something when he was good and ready to. When he'd figured it all out in his head and pieced everything together. To Dean, it was weird, but he'd gotten used to it. It was probably something he should have remembered earlier, instead of pushing and pushing Cas into talking about something he wasn't prepared to discuss. So Cas had pushed back and they were in this mess now.
"I talked to Cas when he was awake and coherent enough, he'll want to see you but Gabriel is another story. He's in his overprotective big brother mode. He threatened to stab the doctor with a needle if he didn't pump Cas so full of painkillers that Cas was out of it when they went in to set his leg."
Dean snorted and shook his head; he and Gabriel had a lot in common when it came to their younger siblings.
"Just…try to avoid him until he's calmed down and Cas has managed to talk to him."
"I can do that."
"Winchester!"
"Or not." Jimmy patted his arm, "Sorry."
Gabriel stormed down the hallway like a miniature hurricane until he was in front of Dean, finger in Dean's face while he snapped, "Tell me why I shouldn't kick your ass so hard you'll wish Godzilla had raped you instead!"
Jimmy snorted from where he stood behind Gabriel and Dean had to force his chuckle down and ask, "What?" instead.
Gabriel punched him on the shoulder, hard.
"You didn't answer your phone you asshat! What the fuck is your problem?"
"I didn't know Gabe."
"Yeah, because you wouldn't answer your phone!"
"Gabriel, Dean didn't do this on purpose." Jimmy added, putting his hand on Gabriel's shoulder. Gabriel shrugged Jimmy's hand off, took a step back and snapped, "C'mon Winchester! My foot, your face. Let's do this!"
Jimmy wrapped his arms around Gabriel from behind and pulled him away from Dean and down the hallway, "I'll talk to him Dean, don't worry."
"I'll cut your balls off with a rusty spoon!" Gabriel shrieked before the two brothers disappeared around the corner. Dean didn't know whether to laugh or cry, Gabriel was oddly terrifying and hilarious at the same time. Several nurses turned to look at Dean who could only shrug and go to wait in the waiting room for any kind of news.
An hour later Jimmy plopped down next to Dean with a sigh and said, "He's calmed down now. So, whenever you're ready you can go in and see Cas. He's conked out though, won't be waking up until the morning supposedly." Dean nodded and followed Jimmy down the hallway and into a room near the end. Gabriel scowled up at him from where he was seated next to Cas' bed, "If you do or say anything I don't like, I won't be held accountable for what I will do to you. And trust me, it's not going to be putting makeup on you or putting ribbons in your hair."
"I'm not here to fight Gabriel." Gabriel simply glared and Dean turned his attention to Cas. He looked peaceful even with the scrapes along his cheek and jaw, there was a bruise peeking out from under the collar of the hospital gown he was wearing. His left leg was encased in a cast that ended mid-thigh and other scrapes and bruises on his arms and hands.
Dean sat down on the other side of Cas, gently taking his hand and muttering, "Idiot," under his breath. They all sat in silence until Gabriel's phone beeped, after that, both Jimmy and Gabriel left the room, leaving Dean alone with Cas.
It was another hour passing until Dean felt Cas' fingers tighten slightly around his own. He blinked and looked up at Cas; a small sliver of blue peeked at him from Cas' slowly opening eyes.
"Dean?"
"Yeah, Cas." Cas' eyes slid shut again and Dean figured he had passed out again, Jimmy had said he wouldn't be waking up until the morning anyway since he'd been pumped full of the good stuff.
"Happened?" Cas asked after a few minutes of blinking stupidly over at Dean.
"You got hit by a car you idiot." Cas huffed, his eyes slid shut again and Dean tightened his hold on Cas' hand, "What the hell were you doing in the street huh? Didn't your mom ever teach you to look both ways?"
Cas grunted something before muttering, "Michael."
"Michael? Your brother Michael, Michael?"
"Mmm."
"What the hell was he doing there?" Cas simply yawned and conked out again. Dean sighed and rubbed at his forehead, he didn't even want to think about why Michael would be hanging around again. From what Cas had told him about his past, it couldn't be for any good reasons.
Dean stayed there with Cas for the rest of the night, Jimmy came every few hours to check up on the two of them but Gabriel remained suspiciously absent. When the sun was beginning to slowly creep up into the sky Dean was knocked from his light doze by the door to the room opening.
Someone Dean didn't know slowly entered the room; Dean watched as the stranger quietly closed the door behind him and crept up to the bedside.
Dean stared at him and the stranger stared down at Cas.
"Can I help you?" Dean finally asked, breaking the silence.
"I just wanted to check on him." Dean took in the same jawline, the same blue eyes and dark, messy hair. He leaned back in his chair and ground out, "You're Michael."
"Yes, you must be Dean." Michael held a hand out over Cas' sleeping form; Dean remained leaning back in his chair and glared up at Michael. Michael hesitated for a moment before sighing and dropping his hand.
"Gabriel has said a lot of good things about you." Dean tried not to let his surprise show; he'd figured Gabriel as someone who would badmouth Dean as often as possible.
"Haven't heard anything about you." Dean said instead of leaping up and punching Michael in the face. This was the man who had sat by and let his father beat his youngest brother; the man shouldn't even be allowed to see Cas.
"I suppose you wouldn't have." Michael muttered, leaning forward and brushing a stray piece of hair off Cas' forehead.
Dean leapt out of his chair then, slapped Michael's hand away and snapped, "Don't you touch him."
"Just as protective of him as James and Gabriel then." Dean glared while Michael stared at him.
"Why are you even here? You obviously don't care for him; you know he was perfectly happy without you in his life."
Michael sighed, straightened his coat, "I do care for him Dean. Castiel is my little brother; I would do anything for him."
"Except keep your father from beating the shit out of him."
"You don't understand. We were trying to save-" Dean punched him in the face.
Michael stumbled back with a shocked look on his face; Gabriel clapped from the doorway, startling Dean out of his contemplation of leaping over Cas' bed and tackling Michael and just beating the shit out of him.
"Couldn't have said it better myself Dean. Like I said Michael, it's probably best for you to just go home." Michael straightened, glared over at Dean and pushed past Gabriel out of the room. Gabriel watched him go then looked over at Dean, "Thanks for saving me from having to do that Dean."
"Dick deserved it." Gabriel nodded, stared at Dean for a moment then asked, "I'm dragging Jimmy down to the cafeteria? Want me to bring you anything?"
Dean figured this was Gabriel's way of welcoming him completely into the family, either that or thanking him for punching his elder brother in the face. Dean shrugged, glanced down at Cas who was still sleeping soundly, "Coffee would be nice."
"Coffee. Got it. Text me if he wakes up before we get back okay?" Dean nodded and Gabriel let himself out of the room. Dean sat back down in the chair beside Cas' bed with a sigh; he wished Cas would wake up already so they could either talk shit out or so he could apologize. He'd prefer to just apologize since both he and Cas didn't really like to talk about anything which probably wasn't healthy but it was just how they worked shit out.
Dean only had to wait five more minutes before Cas was blinking his eyes open and stretching with a grimace. Dean allowed him to finish waking up before he bombarded him with questions, Cas groaned when he stretched again and asked, "Where am I?"
"Hospital."
Cas' gaze snapped over to Dean, like he hadn't been aware that Dean had been there in the first place. Dean smiled gently, reached over for Cas' hand and paused when Cas moved it away. Dean cleared his throat, rubbed at his neck and asked, "You remember what happened?"
"Was hit by a car." Cas muttered, lifting the thin blanket spread over him to peek at his leg.
"Yeah. What the hell were you doing in the street Cas?"
Cas looked over at him with a frown, shifted uncomfortably, "Michael was there. I was just trying to keep away from him, wasn't paying attention."
"Idiot." Dean muttered, resting his hands in his lap as Cas fidgeted with the edge of his blanket.
"Why are you here Dean?" Cas finally asked, breaking their awkward silence.
"You think a fight is going to keep me from coming to see you after you get hit by a fucking car Cas?"
"No, I just…" Cas sighed and looked away from Dean, eyes focusing on something across the room.
"Thought I'd left?"
"Yes."
"I'm not going to leave you Cas. I was being an idiot."
Cas snorted, nodded and mumbled, "We both were." Dean held out his hand again and smiled when Cas took it this time.
"You just frustrate the shit out of me sometimes Cas, I just wanted you to talk to me was all. I saw you were freaking out about something and I wanted to help."
"I know, I'm sorry." Dean shook his head and squeezed Cas' hand. He was rewarded with a small smile and they fell into a comfortable silence this time. Dean jumped a few minutes later and cursed, Cas eyed him and asked, "What?"
"Forgot to text your brother that you were awake." Cas rolled his eyes and Dean sent the text to Gabriel before asking, "So are you going to tell me what was going on last night? Besides Michael. He's a douche by the way."
"You saw Michael?" Cas looked ready to panic, but Dean grinned up at him and announced, "Sure did. I punched him in the face."
Cas snorted, smiled down at his lap then whispered, "He was here because father died a few months ago. He felt it was something that needed to be said in person."
"Shit Cas, I'm sorry." Cas simply shrugged; shot Dean a smile small, "I'm still not sure how I feel about it. Part of me is sad about it but the other is…grateful. Does that make me a bad person Dean?"
"No Cas, it doesn't. Just makes you human." Cas nodded and they were interrupted by Gabriel hopping into the room. Naturally, the asshole had forgotten Dean's coffee.
The next few hours passed with Gabriel, Jimmy and Dean talking with Cas. Dean left after a bit to give them some time to themselves to discuss family matters. He called Sam to let him know what was going on and to let him know Cas was fine and would be going home later that day. Sam promised he, Jess and Riley would be coming to visit before then, at Riley's insistence of course.
When Dean reentered the room, it was to find Gabriel doodling on Cas' cast and Jimmy fretting over Cas like a worried mother hen.
"Dean, please tell Jimmy that I'm fine." Dean simply grinned at him and watched as Jimmy fussed over the few scrapes along Cas' cheek, "Are you sure you don't need some more pain medication? I'm sure we can talk to the doctor into giving you some more."
"Jimmy I will bite you. I'm fine. It's a broken leg not major surgery."
"Yeah, but-"
"Jimmy!"
"Fine!"
Ten minutes after that there was a chorus of, "Mr. Novak!" from the doorway. The four of them turned to see Sam, Jess, Riley and about six other kids standing around them. A few were holding balloons; a couple others were holding cards with 'Get Well Soon' scrawled across the fronts.
Cas blinked stupidly for a moment, opening and closing his mouth uncertainly before managing to ask, "What are you guys doing here?"
Jess ushered them all forward while Sam said, "Found them in the waiting room with their parents. Apparently word spread around town that everyone's favorite third grade teacher was laid up with a broken leg."
Cas blushed, looking shocked that he was considered anyone's favorite anything, but he sat up straighter as the kids gathered around his bed, shoving Gabriel, Jimmy and Dean out of the way. Riley and another boy hopped up onto the bed while Riley asked, "Do we get to sign your cast?"
"Of course."
"I haven't had one yet but my mom says its inev…invetable." The other boy said, snatching the black marker from Gabriel's hands before anything else could be said.
Cas chuckled quietly and said, "I think you mean inevitable Nathan."
"Yeah, that."
"I made you a card Mr. Novak! My mama says it's proper!" Cas smiled at the girl that had bounced up to the bed and accepted the card with a, "Thank you, Emily."
Dean stood back and let the kids crowd around Cas, each of them chattering excitedly, letting Cas in on what they had done over the summer so far. Cas listened to each one of them as he always did, accepting cards and letting everyone sign his cast. Dean couldn't help but chuckle at the boasting Riley was doing, letting everyone know Cas was going to be his new uncle and he'd get to see him all the time while the others wouldn't.
Safe to say it caused chaos and everyone asking if Cas would be their uncle too.
++
Castiel had been home for two weeks when Gabriel finally came to visit. Jimmy had been a constant presence in Castiel's apartment, finally only leaving when Castiel and Amelia threatened to castrate him. Anna had visited for a week as well before she'd needed to return to work, Castiel didn't mind. It was only a broken leg, he'd had them before and he had Dean to fuss over him whenever Dean was home from work.
Gabriel flopped over into the bed beside where Castiel was dozing in the late afternoon sun. Dean had left an hour earlier for his shift, leaving Castiel to roam about the apartment until he'd grown bored and had collapsed onto the bed with nothing else to do.
"Hey bro." Castiel held his tongue when he heard Gabriel's quiet, subdued tone. Castiel shifted until he was lying on his side facing Gabriel who was on his stomach, arms wrapped around Castiel's pillow.
"Gabriel?"
"Went to Dad's grave today."
"Oh."
"I know you don't really-"
Castiel reached out and placed a hand on Gabriel's forearm, interrupting him, "Stop there Gabriel. It's fine. You knew him better than I did, I'm sure you actually have proper memories of the man. I hardly remember him at all outside of those few years at the end."
"Yeah. He was still our dad though, y'know?"
"I know Gabriel." They laid in silence for a while; Gabriel sighed finally, patted Castiel's hand and asked, "So, how are you doing kiddo?"
"I'm fine Gabriel."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure," Castiel grinned over at Gabriel and added, "I'll be glad to get rid of this cast so I'll be able to fuck Dean proper."
"I do not need to hear about my baby brother's extracurricular activities!" Gabriel shouted, rolling off the bed. Castiel chuckled and rolled onto his back, grinning up at the ceiling as Gabriel shouted, "I'm leaving now! Please text that to Jimmy so he can be as disturbed as I am!"
The front door slammed shut and Castiel dozed off again with a smile on his face.
Epilogue
++
So...there you have it!
The end! Sorta...kinda, almost.
Also...
Would any of you be interested in a prequel to this? There would be no Dean/Cas unfortunately, but it would focus on Gabriel, Jimmy, Cas and Anna's time after they left home. I've got a good portion written already and I've gotten a "yes!", "hell yes!" and "if you don't finish writing it I'll shank you in your sleep." for the prequel option.
Let me know if you guys would be interested in it or not and I'll get around to writing it more often than I have been if you are. It's been a good outlet for my angst so far lol.
Anyway! I hope ya'll enjoyed and the epilogue will be around in a few weeks hopefully!
Author: zeppx
Rating: PG
Word Count: 4789
Characters/Pairings: Dean/Cas, Sam/Jess, Gabriel and Jimmy
Spoilers/Warnings: None since it's AU. Mentions of past child abuse and slight homophobia
Summary: Based off the prompt: "Give me a Dean/Cas AU. I want a firefighter!Dean, teacher!Cas…throw in some Gabriel, Jimmy, Anna, Sam/Jess and an adorable, vomit inducing child of theirs. Give me an unremarkable first meeting and awkward shenanigans the second time around. Shake well and serve.
A/N: So yeah...I know. Fail on the updating time again. I got caught up in my big bang and freaking out about the season finale, which also kind of murdered my muse (not Susangel lol) along with everything else. This probably would have been posted about two weeks ago, but I freaked out and clung to it and rewrote some of it because it's the final chapter.
I know it's sudden, but it kind of hit me out of nowhere as well.
There will be an epilogue of course. But this is it. The end.
This chapter was meant to be a bit angstier than it really turned out. Some of this also feels rushed and kind of forced to me since it didn't want to be written, thanks to the angst of the last three episodes of Supernatural and the angst that's going on in my big bang fic. My brain rebelled, it kicked and screamed and just wouldn't do it so yeah...if some of this chapter is absolute shit (which I think most of it is) that's why. Blame the show.
It's probably the most horrible ending as well, but I honestly couldn't think of anything else that I don't already have in the epilogue (which is half written so hopefully there won't be a month wait for it lol).
So, yeah, if it feels rushed...it's cause it is. But I promise the epilogue will be better. And even fluffier.
Enjoy!
++
Continued from here
Castiel wasn't sure how he and Dean had ended up in this position, he'd come home from checking on Jimmy and had sat on the couch for the majority of the night, worrying, wondering. Would Michael and his father show up? Would they try to "cure" him again? It had been years since he'd seen the rest of his family, but they were persistent, driven.
Then Gabriel had called, with news from Michael.
He was here because their father had died four months earlier; it had taken this time for Michael to track them down to be able to tell them.
Castiel couldn't be anything other than shocked. His father may not have been around when he'd been a child, and he may have beaten Castiel for two years. Before then though, he'd been a good father, had loved his children as well as he could have from a distance.
Dean had woken up some time in the middle of the night because of Castiel's pacing. He'd wandered into the dark living room, asking what was wrong, trying to get Castiel to speak about whatever was bothering him but Castiel wasn't ready for it. Was busy feeling the grief over his father, the worry as to why Michael was here when he could have easily called to tell them. Dean had snapped at him over it, and Castiel had snapped back.
Now there was yelling and arm waving and Castiel had no idea how it had come to this.
It was their first true fight, they'd bickered before, Castiel frustrated with Dean's inability to put his dirty laundry in the hamper, Dean frustrated when Castiel spent some of Dean's days off with his brothers instead. They'd never been reduced to actual yelling through, they'd snapped and bitched but had made up about whatever it was later.
Make up sex, according to Dean, was worth it.
Right now though, Castiel wasn't so sure. He couldn't even remember what they were yelling about.
"You know what? Fine. You do whatever the fuck you gotta do Cas, I'm out." Dean snapped, turning away from Castiel and grabbing his keys off the table by the door before disappearing. Castiel blinked, stunned before it all came back to him.
Dean had just left, a familiar feeling crashed into him, the fear of someone he cared deeply for walking out and never coming back. He'd felt it with Gabriel once before and he was going to be damned if he let Dean do the same, especially since it was something Dean would do.
Dean would break himself off from Castiel to spare himself the hurt first, to not be the weak one. Castiel knew how Dean thought, Dean didn't think himself good enough, didn't think himself worthy of any of this, of Castiel's love.
Castiel shook himself out of his stupor and raced for the door, he wasn't going to let Dean take the cowardly way out of this. One little fight wasn't going to be their end simply because Dean was scared and Castiel was confused. Castiel was going to cling like a leech and not let go.
He was at the door of the apartment building when he heard the Impala's engine roar to life; he threw himself out the door shouting, "Dean!"
He was too late though, the Impala was tearing down the street, music blaring out of the open windows. Castiel cursed, fumbled around in his pockets for his phone and dialed Dean's number, only to have it go to voicemail.
"Shit."
"Hello Castiel." Castiel froze in place; his heart jumped and stuttered in his chest. Michael's footsteps moved up behind him, and Castiel schooled his face, subtly changed his posture and turned to look at Michael.
"No, wrong twin Mike." Michael stared at Castiel, his eyes hard and brow creased. Castiel had hated that look as a child; always felt that Michael was judging him for something. Michael's hand came up and settled on Castiel's shoulder, gripping tight as he said, "No, I believe I've got the right twin."
Despite his best efforts not to Castiel looked around, trying to see if there was anyone around him, anyone that could help him at all. There was no one though, it was late and people were at home like he should have been.
Castiel glared up at him, "Michael, let me go. I'm not Cas."
Michael shook his head and sighed as if disappointed, "I know you're not James. I'd know your defiance anywhere Castiel." Castiel jerked against Michael's hold, trying to pull away, put some distance between them.
"Let me go."
"I can't Castiel. You know what our father wanted; you know I have to carry out his wishes."
"No, you don't."
"Castiel-"
"Let. Me. Go!" Castiel jerked back, breaking Michael's grip on his shoulder. Castiel stepped back until he was at the curb, "There is nothing to fix Michael!"
"Castiel you know-"
"No! I thought for years that there was something wrong with me, that I was damaged or broken somehow. That I'd come out wrong, but I know better now. There's nothing for you to fix, there's nothing wrong with me!" Michael took a step forward and Castiel took two back, off the curb and into the street, keeping his distance.
"You might think you need to finish whatever father started but you don't need to. There's nothing to finish, we've been fine without you for years. We don't need you, I don't need you. So just go back to wherever you came from and leave us alone!"
Michael took another step forward while Castiel backed up again, Michael was giving him a pleading look, like he was prepared to get down on his knees and beg if he had to.
"Cassie, please. We're brothers."
Castiel snorted, "You don't get to call me that. And we're not brothers, not anymore, you gave up that right when you stood by and did nothing."
Castiel took another step back, away from Michael's reaching hand.
There was a bright light, Michael shouting his name, a horn and tires squealing and Castiel knew no more.
++
Dean's grip on the steering wheel was tight enough that the leather creaked under his hands. He had no music coming from the speakers, he had been too pissed to put a tape in or find a radio station when the current one had faded into static. For their first fight, it was a pretty epic one, even if Dean couldn't really remember what had been said.
He just knew he was annoyed that Cas thought so little of himself, annoyed that Cas constantly kept part of himself closed off. He was too much like Dean, fought against his emotions and didn't want to talk about them when he should. Cas insisted, much like Dean, to just ignore and move on, pretend it never happened.
Dean had fought him on it tonight though, he could see that something was seriously bothering Cas, knew it wasn't just some little thing that could be easily forgotten. He wanted to know, he wanted to help but he didn't know how if Cas wouldn't let him. Now he kind of understood how Sam felt all the time when he was attempting to help Dean.
Dean glanced at his cellphone on the seat beside him as it buzzed, Cas, flashing across the screen. He hit the ignore button. It buzzed again a few seconds later when a new voicemail before ringing again, this time Jimmy flashing at him. Dean rolled his eyes; of course, Cas would bring his twin into their relationship issues.
The phone buzzed with another voicemail, then with a text from Sam. Followed by another text from Jimmy.
After four calls from Jimmy, three from Gabriel, eight from Sam, two from an unknown number and numerous texts, Dean snatched his phone off the seat and shut the stupid thing off. He just needed to be left alone right now, try to figure out what the hell was going to happen with him and Cas. He knew it was just one fight, but it hadn't been a small one like their other, previous ones. Were they over? Was this the end of Dean's longest and most important relationship?
Was he really willing to give up on it all after all the effort? Was he willing to give up Cas?
"Not likely." Dean muttered, snorting as he turned the Impala around and headed back to town. He'd hang out at Sam's until morning and head back to Cas and work this out. As much as he just wanted to run from this, save himself from the future hurt, he couldn't. Cas meant more to him than that. He could get over his fear for this.
The first thing Dean heard when he let himself into Sam's living room was, "Where the fuck have you been?"
"Was out on a drive."
"All of us have been trying to get in touch with you all night Dean!"
"Yeah, listen Sam, Cas and I had a fight. I'm just gonna crash here okay?"
"No, Dean…listen-"
"What do you mean no?"
"Dean-"
"It's just for one night Sam, you know if you and-"
"Dean!"
"What?"
"Would you shut up for five seconds and let me tell you what's going on?" Dean crossed his arms and stared over at Sam who was glaring at him. Jess was standing just behind Sam in the doorway to the kitchen, watching with wide eyes.
"Well go on then."
"Cas was in an accident." Dean's arms dropped down to his sides, it felt like his heart had just stopped beating and the ground had fallen out from underneath his feet.
"He was hit by a car in front of his apartment." Dean's eyes closed and he took a deep breath. He remembered looking in the rearview mirror before turning the corner, Cas had been standing in the middle of the sidewalk looking like his world was ending. Dean had almost turned around and gone back, but he hadn't. He should have, maybe if he'd been there Cas wouldn't have stepped out into the street for whatever reason. Maybe he'd been going to his car…
"Dean, knock it off. This is one of those things that isn't your fault." Dean sighed, rubbed a hand over his face and asked, "Is he okay?"
"Jimmy said he'll be alright. Broke a leg and some scrapes and bruises, it's not as bad as it could have been."
Dean let out the breath he'd been holding; it wasn't incredibly serious at least. Now, he needed to be there. He needed to apologize and make it up. Funny how an accident could change the perspective on things.
"Want me to drive you there Dean?"
"Nah, Sam. Stay home, I'll call and let you know what's going on." Sam nodded and Dean spun around and walked out the front door. He had no idea how he was going to make this up to Cas, but he would, no matter what it took.
"What do you mean I can't see him?" Dean demanded thirty minutes later, glaring at the nurse standing in front of him. She returned his glare and snapped, "Only family members."
"He's my boyfriend."
She simply crossed her arms and glared at him again, unimpressed.
"Dean?" Dean spun around and rushed down the hallway towards Jimmy. Now that Dean was here in the hospital his earlier calm had gone right out the window. He needed to see Cas, make sure he was okay, see for himself.
"Jimmy! You've gotta let me in to see him. How is he anyway?"
"He's alright Dean. I would let you in but uh…Gabriel is kinda pissed at you."
"Why?"
"Well, you wouldn't answer your phone and Cas told us you two had a fight?" Jimmy's eyebrow went up, a small hint of I will destroy you if you've hurt him in his voice.
"Um…yeah, I don't even know anymore. It was stupid."
Jimmy stared at Dean for a moment, before he said, "You can't push Cas into telling you things."
"Yeah, I kinda figured that one out." Dean had learned that one early on in their relationship, Cas would only talk about something when he was good and ready to. When he'd figured it all out in his head and pieced everything together. To Dean, it was weird, but he'd gotten used to it. It was probably something he should have remembered earlier, instead of pushing and pushing Cas into talking about something he wasn't prepared to discuss. So Cas had pushed back and they were in this mess now.
"I talked to Cas when he was awake and coherent enough, he'll want to see you but Gabriel is another story. He's in his overprotective big brother mode. He threatened to stab the doctor with a needle if he didn't pump Cas so full of painkillers that Cas was out of it when they went in to set his leg."
Dean snorted and shook his head; he and Gabriel had a lot in common when it came to their younger siblings.
"Just…try to avoid him until he's calmed down and Cas has managed to talk to him."
"I can do that."
"Winchester!"
"Or not." Jimmy patted his arm, "Sorry."
Gabriel stormed down the hallway like a miniature hurricane until he was in front of Dean, finger in Dean's face while he snapped, "Tell me why I shouldn't kick your ass so hard you'll wish Godzilla had raped you instead!"
Jimmy snorted from where he stood behind Gabriel and Dean had to force his chuckle down and ask, "What?" instead.
Gabriel punched him on the shoulder, hard.
"You didn't answer your phone you asshat! What the fuck is your problem?"
"I didn't know Gabe."
"Yeah, because you wouldn't answer your phone!"
"Gabriel, Dean didn't do this on purpose." Jimmy added, putting his hand on Gabriel's shoulder. Gabriel shrugged Jimmy's hand off, took a step back and snapped, "C'mon Winchester! My foot, your face. Let's do this!"
Jimmy wrapped his arms around Gabriel from behind and pulled him away from Dean and down the hallway, "I'll talk to him Dean, don't worry."
"I'll cut your balls off with a rusty spoon!" Gabriel shrieked before the two brothers disappeared around the corner. Dean didn't know whether to laugh or cry, Gabriel was oddly terrifying and hilarious at the same time. Several nurses turned to look at Dean who could only shrug and go to wait in the waiting room for any kind of news.
An hour later Jimmy plopped down next to Dean with a sigh and said, "He's calmed down now. So, whenever you're ready you can go in and see Cas. He's conked out though, won't be waking up until the morning supposedly." Dean nodded and followed Jimmy down the hallway and into a room near the end. Gabriel scowled up at him from where he was seated next to Cas' bed, "If you do or say anything I don't like, I won't be held accountable for what I will do to you. And trust me, it's not going to be putting makeup on you or putting ribbons in your hair."
"I'm not here to fight Gabriel." Gabriel simply glared and Dean turned his attention to Cas. He looked peaceful even with the scrapes along his cheek and jaw, there was a bruise peeking out from under the collar of the hospital gown he was wearing. His left leg was encased in a cast that ended mid-thigh and other scrapes and bruises on his arms and hands.
Dean sat down on the other side of Cas, gently taking his hand and muttering, "Idiot," under his breath. They all sat in silence until Gabriel's phone beeped, after that, both Jimmy and Gabriel left the room, leaving Dean alone with Cas.
It was another hour passing until Dean felt Cas' fingers tighten slightly around his own. He blinked and looked up at Cas; a small sliver of blue peeked at him from Cas' slowly opening eyes.
"Dean?"
"Yeah, Cas." Cas' eyes slid shut again and Dean figured he had passed out again, Jimmy had said he wouldn't be waking up until the morning anyway since he'd been pumped full of the good stuff.
"Happened?" Cas asked after a few minutes of blinking stupidly over at Dean.
"You got hit by a car you idiot." Cas huffed, his eyes slid shut again and Dean tightened his hold on Cas' hand, "What the hell were you doing in the street huh? Didn't your mom ever teach you to look both ways?"
Cas grunted something before muttering, "Michael."
"Michael? Your brother Michael, Michael?"
"Mmm."
"What the hell was he doing there?" Cas simply yawned and conked out again. Dean sighed and rubbed at his forehead, he didn't even want to think about why Michael would be hanging around again. From what Cas had told him about his past, it couldn't be for any good reasons.
Dean stayed there with Cas for the rest of the night, Jimmy came every few hours to check up on the two of them but Gabriel remained suspiciously absent. When the sun was beginning to slowly creep up into the sky Dean was knocked from his light doze by the door to the room opening.
Someone Dean didn't know slowly entered the room; Dean watched as the stranger quietly closed the door behind him and crept up to the bedside.
Dean stared at him and the stranger stared down at Cas.
"Can I help you?" Dean finally asked, breaking the silence.
"I just wanted to check on him." Dean took in the same jawline, the same blue eyes and dark, messy hair. He leaned back in his chair and ground out, "You're Michael."
"Yes, you must be Dean." Michael held a hand out over Cas' sleeping form; Dean remained leaning back in his chair and glared up at Michael. Michael hesitated for a moment before sighing and dropping his hand.
"Gabriel has said a lot of good things about you." Dean tried not to let his surprise show; he'd figured Gabriel as someone who would badmouth Dean as often as possible.
"Haven't heard anything about you." Dean said instead of leaping up and punching Michael in the face. This was the man who had sat by and let his father beat his youngest brother; the man shouldn't even be allowed to see Cas.
"I suppose you wouldn't have." Michael muttered, leaning forward and brushing a stray piece of hair off Cas' forehead.
Dean leapt out of his chair then, slapped Michael's hand away and snapped, "Don't you touch him."
"Just as protective of him as James and Gabriel then." Dean glared while Michael stared at him.
"Why are you even here? You obviously don't care for him; you know he was perfectly happy without you in his life."
Michael sighed, straightened his coat, "I do care for him Dean. Castiel is my little brother; I would do anything for him."
"Except keep your father from beating the shit out of him."
"You don't understand. We were trying to save-" Dean punched him in the face.
Michael stumbled back with a shocked look on his face; Gabriel clapped from the doorway, startling Dean out of his contemplation of leaping over Cas' bed and tackling Michael and just beating the shit out of him.
"Couldn't have said it better myself Dean. Like I said Michael, it's probably best for you to just go home." Michael straightened, glared over at Dean and pushed past Gabriel out of the room. Gabriel watched him go then looked over at Dean, "Thanks for saving me from having to do that Dean."
"Dick deserved it." Gabriel nodded, stared at Dean for a moment then asked, "I'm dragging Jimmy down to the cafeteria? Want me to bring you anything?"
Dean figured this was Gabriel's way of welcoming him completely into the family, either that or thanking him for punching his elder brother in the face. Dean shrugged, glanced down at Cas who was still sleeping soundly, "Coffee would be nice."
"Coffee. Got it. Text me if he wakes up before we get back okay?" Dean nodded and Gabriel let himself out of the room. Dean sat back down in the chair beside Cas' bed with a sigh; he wished Cas would wake up already so they could either talk shit out or so he could apologize. He'd prefer to just apologize since both he and Cas didn't really like to talk about anything which probably wasn't healthy but it was just how they worked shit out.
Dean only had to wait five more minutes before Cas was blinking his eyes open and stretching with a grimace. Dean allowed him to finish waking up before he bombarded him with questions, Cas groaned when he stretched again and asked, "Where am I?"
"Hospital."
Cas' gaze snapped over to Dean, like he hadn't been aware that Dean had been there in the first place. Dean smiled gently, reached over for Cas' hand and paused when Cas moved it away. Dean cleared his throat, rubbed at his neck and asked, "You remember what happened?"
"Was hit by a car." Cas muttered, lifting the thin blanket spread over him to peek at his leg.
"Yeah. What the hell were you doing in the street Cas?"
Cas looked over at him with a frown, shifted uncomfortably, "Michael was there. I was just trying to keep away from him, wasn't paying attention."
"Idiot." Dean muttered, resting his hands in his lap as Cas fidgeted with the edge of his blanket.
"Why are you here Dean?" Cas finally asked, breaking their awkward silence.
"You think a fight is going to keep me from coming to see you after you get hit by a fucking car Cas?"
"No, I just…" Cas sighed and looked away from Dean, eyes focusing on something across the room.
"Thought I'd left?"
"Yes."
"I'm not going to leave you Cas. I was being an idiot."
Cas snorted, nodded and mumbled, "We both were." Dean held out his hand again and smiled when Cas took it this time.
"You just frustrate the shit out of me sometimes Cas, I just wanted you to talk to me was all. I saw you were freaking out about something and I wanted to help."
"I know, I'm sorry." Dean shook his head and squeezed Cas' hand. He was rewarded with a small smile and they fell into a comfortable silence this time. Dean jumped a few minutes later and cursed, Cas eyed him and asked, "What?"
"Forgot to text your brother that you were awake." Cas rolled his eyes and Dean sent the text to Gabriel before asking, "So are you going to tell me what was going on last night? Besides Michael. He's a douche by the way."
"You saw Michael?" Cas looked ready to panic, but Dean grinned up at him and announced, "Sure did. I punched him in the face."
Cas snorted, smiled down at his lap then whispered, "He was here because father died a few months ago. He felt it was something that needed to be said in person."
"Shit Cas, I'm sorry." Cas simply shrugged; shot Dean a smile small, "I'm still not sure how I feel about it. Part of me is sad about it but the other is…grateful. Does that make me a bad person Dean?"
"No Cas, it doesn't. Just makes you human." Cas nodded and they were interrupted by Gabriel hopping into the room. Naturally, the asshole had forgotten Dean's coffee.
The next few hours passed with Gabriel, Jimmy and Dean talking with Cas. Dean left after a bit to give them some time to themselves to discuss family matters. He called Sam to let him know what was going on and to let him know Cas was fine and would be going home later that day. Sam promised he, Jess and Riley would be coming to visit before then, at Riley's insistence of course.
When Dean reentered the room, it was to find Gabriel doodling on Cas' cast and Jimmy fretting over Cas like a worried mother hen.
"Dean, please tell Jimmy that I'm fine." Dean simply grinned at him and watched as Jimmy fussed over the few scrapes along Cas' cheek, "Are you sure you don't need some more pain medication? I'm sure we can talk to the doctor into giving you some more."
"Jimmy I will bite you. I'm fine. It's a broken leg not major surgery."
"Yeah, but-"
"Jimmy!"
"Fine!"
Ten minutes after that there was a chorus of, "Mr. Novak!" from the doorway. The four of them turned to see Sam, Jess, Riley and about six other kids standing around them. A few were holding balloons; a couple others were holding cards with 'Get Well Soon' scrawled across the fronts.
Cas blinked stupidly for a moment, opening and closing his mouth uncertainly before managing to ask, "What are you guys doing here?"
Jess ushered them all forward while Sam said, "Found them in the waiting room with their parents. Apparently word spread around town that everyone's favorite third grade teacher was laid up with a broken leg."
Cas blushed, looking shocked that he was considered anyone's favorite anything, but he sat up straighter as the kids gathered around his bed, shoving Gabriel, Jimmy and Dean out of the way. Riley and another boy hopped up onto the bed while Riley asked, "Do we get to sign your cast?"
"Of course."
"I haven't had one yet but my mom says its inev…invetable." The other boy said, snatching the black marker from Gabriel's hands before anything else could be said.
Cas chuckled quietly and said, "I think you mean inevitable Nathan."
"Yeah, that."
"I made you a card Mr. Novak! My mama says it's proper!" Cas smiled at the girl that had bounced up to the bed and accepted the card with a, "Thank you, Emily."
Dean stood back and let the kids crowd around Cas, each of them chattering excitedly, letting Cas in on what they had done over the summer so far. Cas listened to each one of them as he always did, accepting cards and letting everyone sign his cast. Dean couldn't help but chuckle at the boasting Riley was doing, letting everyone know Cas was going to be his new uncle and he'd get to see him all the time while the others wouldn't.
Safe to say it caused chaos and everyone asking if Cas would be their uncle too.
++
Castiel had been home for two weeks when Gabriel finally came to visit. Jimmy had been a constant presence in Castiel's apartment, finally only leaving when Castiel and Amelia threatened to castrate him. Anna had visited for a week as well before she'd needed to return to work, Castiel didn't mind. It was only a broken leg, he'd had them before and he had Dean to fuss over him whenever Dean was home from work.
Gabriel flopped over into the bed beside where Castiel was dozing in the late afternoon sun. Dean had left an hour earlier for his shift, leaving Castiel to roam about the apartment until he'd grown bored and had collapsed onto the bed with nothing else to do.
"Hey bro." Castiel held his tongue when he heard Gabriel's quiet, subdued tone. Castiel shifted until he was lying on his side facing Gabriel who was on his stomach, arms wrapped around Castiel's pillow.
"Gabriel?"
"Went to Dad's grave today."
"Oh."
"I know you don't really-"
Castiel reached out and placed a hand on Gabriel's forearm, interrupting him, "Stop there Gabriel. It's fine. You knew him better than I did, I'm sure you actually have proper memories of the man. I hardly remember him at all outside of those few years at the end."
"Yeah. He was still our dad though, y'know?"
"I know Gabriel." They laid in silence for a while; Gabriel sighed finally, patted Castiel's hand and asked, "So, how are you doing kiddo?"
"I'm fine Gabriel."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure," Castiel grinned over at Gabriel and added, "I'll be glad to get rid of this cast so I'll be able to fuck Dean proper."
"I do not need to hear about my baby brother's extracurricular activities!" Gabriel shouted, rolling off the bed. Castiel chuckled and rolled onto his back, grinning up at the ceiling as Gabriel shouted, "I'm leaving now! Please text that to Jimmy so he can be as disturbed as I am!"
The front door slammed shut and Castiel dozed off again with a smile on his face.
Epilogue
++
So...there you have it!
The end! Sorta...kinda, almost.
Also...
Would any of you be interested in a prequel to this? There would be no Dean/Cas unfortunately, but it would focus on Gabriel, Jimmy, Cas and Anna's time after they left home. I've got a good portion written already and I've gotten a "yes!", "hell yes!" and "if you don't finish writing it I'll shank you in your sleep." for the prequel option.
Let me know if you guys would be interested in it or not and I'll get around to writing it more often than I have been if you are. It's been a good outlet for my angst so far lol.
Anyway! I hope ya'll enjoyed and the epilogue will be around in a few weeks hopefully!