Continued...
Continued from here
Two weeks later and Castiel was sitting behind the nurses’ station again. He was paying attention to his phone this time around though, playing a round of Words With Friends with Sam. The two of them had met up twice: once for coffee where they ended up talking about books of all things, the second time had been at the college when Castiel had gone to hunt up information on how he could go about getting his Master’s degree and what it would do for his career. Sam had been there with Jess and they’d ended up chatting for a few hours about their respective degrees.
Castiel liked Sam; he was smart and easy to get along with. He was also Castiel’s first friend that didn’t work in the damn hospital, which was a little weird, but nice. Made Castiel feel not quite so pathetic when he thought about his social life.
Thankfully, he hadn’t met up with Dean yet, not since the gas incident anyway, which he was glad for. Castiel couldn’t handle Dean right now. Not with how he looked, and how he acted and pretty much just everything in general.
They had texted quite a bit though, which was nice. Kept him company on the slow nights at work and when he was busy at home doing absolutely nothing.
His phone buzzed in his hand and he glanced down at it, expecting it to be his turn against Sam, instead it was a text from Dean asking, u workin?
Yes, I’m allowed to go home at eleven though. Which was only in thirty minutes. Castiel was silently rejoicing and doing a damn fine job of looking busy so that Ellen wouldn’t change her mind and keep him here for the night in retaliation.
Wanna meet 4 drinks?
Castiel frowned at his phone; surely Dean had people who didn’t annoy him to go out and have drinks with. With a shrug, he responded with an affirmative and they agreed to meet at one of the bars that were halfway between the hospital and the town they both lived further up north.
Forty-five minutes later Castiel was pulling into the parking lot of the bar. His eyes landed immediately on Dean who was leaning back against a black behemoth of a car, patiently awaiting Castiel’s arrival.
Castiel pulled into the spot next to Dean’s car and hauled himself out of the car. Dean eyed him then asked, “Seriously? You’re going into a bar in your scrubs?”
Castiel looked down at the black scrubs he’d donned earlier that evening and shrugged, “I didn’t bring a change with me since I didn’t plan on going out afterwards. Plus it gets me free drinks sometimes.”
Dean jerked his chin at Castiel’s chest, “That get you free drinks too?”
Castiel glanced down again with a frown, if Dean was so annoyed with his scrubs he could just turn around and go home or go in without him, Castiel didn’t care. Wasn’t like they were best friends or anything. Castiel pulled the RN badge and his hospital ID off from where they were clipped to his chest. “No, but they do get me out of tickets if I get pulled over when I’m driving home.”
He turned back towards his car and tossed them into the passenger seat before locking the car again and following Dean towards the bar entrance.
“Seriously?”
“Cops don’t give the nurses tickets, they know better.”
“I don’t believe you.” Castiel shrugged and nodded his thanks when Dean held the door open and stepped into the bar. It was a nicer bar than the ones he would usually go into; nicer than the ones he imagined Dean going into as well, so it wasn’t as loud as it could have been. The lighting was dim and intimate and most people were dressed up, mostly businessmen and women on their way home from work.
“Well, nurses are the ones who take care of the cops when they come into the hospital. We’re more important than the doctors, usually; we do more. You really don’t wanna piss off your nurse.”
Their conversation was put on hold while they ordered their drinks, Dean shot Castiel a glare when, sure enough, the bartender gave him his beer for free. Castiel smirked at him and they headed off to one of the few open tables in the back near the windows.
“You wouldn’t give someone crappy treatment just ‘cause they gave you a ticket though, would you?”
“Of course not. But they don’t need to know that.”
Dean snorted and sipped his beer, they fell into a semi-awkward silence, both sipping their beers and watching the people around them.
“I would have figured you for someone who would buy a hybrid or some shit like that.” Castiel startled out of watching a group of college students playing pool and turned back to Dean with a slight frown.
“What?”
“Your new car. Figured you would have bought a hybrid instead of a sports car.”
Castiel snorted and shrugged, “Hybrids are nice I guess. They’re not really solving the problem though. Sure, they use less gas, but they still use gas so they’re just hiding the issue. I’d rather wait for an electric, or one of those hydrogen-fueled cars. I don’t think my car would have lasted that long though, so I needed something new and why not something fun?”
Dean shrugged and smiled around his beer bottle.
“Plus, I’d rather not drive something that looks like a giant suppository,” Castiel added, smirking when Dean’s beer went spraying across the table.
“I’ll never look at a Prius the same way,” Dean muttered. Castiel grinned at him and saluted him with his drink before finishing it off.
A few hours later, the two of them were sitting on a bench outside of the bar. It may have been mid-July and the day may have been warm, but the fog had rolled in from the bay and the night was cool. It was nice, though, so Castiel didn’t mind the occasional shiver whenever a slight breeze blew.
Dean was relaxed beside him, head tilted back to watch the fog moving above them. Neither of them had had more than two beers since they still needed to drive home, but Castiel, for some reason, wasn’t quite ready to leave Dean’s side, and Dean seemed reluctant to leave his.
“So why did you call me out for drinks?” Castiel blurted a few minutes later.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
Castiel held up a hand to count off the reasons, “I’m gay, I annoy you and I’m sure you have plenty of other people willing to go out with you.”
“I don’t have anything against gay guys.”
Castiel raised an eyebrow, expressing his disbelief.
“Seriously, I don’t. You’re just a bit of a dick is all.”
Castiel snorted. “I’m a peach to be around. You’re just a bit of a douche. It’s how I respond to douchiness; by being a dick.”
Dean snorted from beside him, “Whatever. Despite your occasional dickishness, I think you’re an interesting person and, for some reason, I want to get to know you. Plus, believe it or not, I don’t actually have a lot of friends.”
“Must be the douche in you.”
Castiel grinned innocently at the glare Dean shot him.
Another few minutes passed before Dean was clapping a hand down on his thigh, “I need to get home. I have to get up early for work in the morning.” Castiel nodded and pulled himself up to his feet. He was ready to go home, pass out and sleep in since he had tomorrow off. He was pretty sure Gabriel had the day off tomorrow too, maybe he’d finally call his friend and they’d could go out and do something.
Like get Castiel laid.
“We should do this again. Next time I’ll help you pick up a chick.” It was Dean’s turn to raise an incredulous brow at Castiel.
“I don’t need help picking up chicks, dude.”
“Help picking out someone who isn’t a complete slut, I mean. Haven’t you heard? Having a gay friend makes it easy to pick girls up. Or guys, depending on your gender.”
Dean snorted and shook his head while he pulled his keys from his pocket, muttering something under his breath that sounded a lot like, “Fucking California.”
Castiel snickered, pulled out his own keys and waved his goodbye to Dean as he slid into the driver’s seat. Dean waited until Castiel had started up the car and was beginning to pull out before following him; apparently, Dean was the type to follow Castiel to make sure he got home okay.
The thought brought a smile to Castiel’s face and he shook his head.
Much to his dismay Dean was growing on him. He wanted more from Dean, a something more that he would never be able to get or have.
That thought knocked the smile right off of Castiel’s face.
Unfortunately, Castiel was unable to go out with Gabriel the next night. Ellen had called while Castiel had happily been having a dream that included Dean, chocolate sauce, and red velvet cake.
So Castiel wasn’t in the best of moods when he dragged himself into work for the day shift. He hated the day shift; patients were usually awake during the day and required you to talk to them and handle the family. Ellen had said they were short though, and since Castiel had gotten off early the night before, he was the one called in.
Castiel was returning from a run down to the cafeteria to retrieve coffee for himself when he passed by the waiting room. Generally he didn’t pay much attention to the people in the waiting rooms, dealing with the patient’s family usually fell to the doctors, but there was a familiar figure pacing back and forth in the room.
Castiel backtracked and paused in the doorway, watching Dean pace for a moment, “Dean?”
Dean jumped then spun around, “Cas! Thank fuck, I’ve been going insane here!”
“Um.”
“Tell me you know what’s going on.” Castiel simply shook his head while Dean frowned.
“Wait, what are you even doing here? I thought you worked the night shift.”
Castiel took a sip of his coffee and nodded, “I do, but the day shift was short staffed and I was called in. Are you going to tell me what brought you here?”
“Right. Uh, accident at work. Bobby, my boss... Well, let’s just say he broke his leg. Not pretty. They took him into surgery and told me to wait here. I haven’t heard anything since and no one will tell me a damn thing.”
Castiel hummed, turned and headed down the hallway, motioning for Dean to follow him. After a brief hesitation Dean rushed to follow after him, “They told me not to leave the waiting room, are you sure it’s okay for me to be here?”
Castiel sat himself down behind the nurses’ station, set his coffee aside and looked over the patient assignments he’d handed out earlier in the morning, “You’re fine. What’s his name?”
“Bobby Singer.” Dean leaned against the counter, watching as Castiel turned and propelled his chair to the other end of the station, searching out the proper chart. With the chart in hand Castiel turned and pushed himself back to where Dean was waiting.
Castiel quickly flipped through the chart, “He was brought up from post-op not too long ago. Everything went fine in surgery, but no one’s been in to see him yet, so there’s not much.”
“Better than what I was getting. Thanks, Cas.”
Castiel smiled up at Dean, “I’ll switch some patients around so I can be the one keeping an eye on him for you.”
“Cas, you don’t have to-”
“Just say ‘thank you’ Dean.” Dean grunted at him and crossed his arms. Castiel grinned, stood and headed down the hallway towards Bobby’s room, “Come on, you can come in to see him with me. I don’t think he’ll be awake though.”
“Cas, really. I don’t want to get you in trouble.”
“You won’t get me in trouble, Dean. I promise.”
They were a few doors down from Bobby’s room when Castiel heard shouting, a clatter, and Jake, one of the orderlies, came rushing out of the room, cursing under his breath. He stopped when he spotted Castiel, “Oh good. You can deal with him.”
Castiel watched as Jake hurried down the hall then turned to Dean, “That sounds ominous.”
“Bobby isn’t too fond of hospitals.”
Castiel sighed, “Perfect.” Castiel entered the room, plastering on his brightest smile, “Good morning, Mr. Singer. How are you doing?”
The older man glared and crossed his arms over his chest, “You really gotta ask me that? Idjit.”
Dean chuckled and stepped around Castiel, “Be nice Bobby, he’s only doing his job.”
“Well he can get on doing his job and give me some more painkillers.”
Castiel flipped the chart open, took a moment to decipher Gabriel’s messy handwriting, “You’re not due for more morphine for another two hours, Mr. Singer.”
Bobby snorted and glared, “I’m in pain now damnit.”
“On a-”
“If you ask me to rate my pain on a scale of one to ten, I will hit you with my bedpan. It won’t be clean either.”
Castiel sighed and ignored Dean’s snickering from the other side of Bobby’s bed, “I’ll ask your doctor, then, if we can give you a higher dose.”
Castiel turned to the phone so he could page Gabriel; he needed the permission but he also didn’t want to deal with Bobby alone today. Gabriel could suffer with him.
While they waited for Gabriel, Castiel went about doing his other duties and noting them down for Gabriel. Castiel is aware of Dean watching him while he works; he’s not entirely sure what to make of it and, for now, ignores it.
Bobby allows himself to be poked and prodded with minimal grumbling and the occasional idjit tossed in Castiel’s direction. Castiel had the feeling that if Dean weren’t in the room Bobby wouldn’t be so cooperative.
Gabriel, thankfully, entered the room just as Castiel was finishing his exam. He came to stand by Castiel, snagging the chart from Castiel’s hands, “What’s the verdict?”
“He wants more pain medication.” Gabriel hummed, looking over Castiel’s notes before turning to look at Bobby.
When Bobby simply glared at them in response Gabriel moved down to examine Bobby’s leg, which he, along with the orthopedic surgeon, had worked on not long ago.
“On a scale of-”
“I wouldn’t ask him that Gabriel. He threatened to hit me with his bedpan. A dirty one.” Castiel interrupted, smirking at the way Gabriel shuddered.
“Don’t go threatening my favorite nurse now, Mr. Singer.”
Castiel snorted, “If I didn’t know any better Gabe, I’d think you wanted something.”
Gabriel grinned up at him, finished his own examination and wrote out the order for more morphine before handing the chart back to Castiel, “In fact I do. You and me, drinks after work.”
Castiel nodded, more than happy to agree to those terms since they’d been his original plan before being called into work. Dean shifted on the other side of the room, arms crossing over his chest as he leveled a glare at Gabriel. Castiel frowned at Dean, confused at the sudden hostility.
Dean caught Castiel’s look and quickly looked away, shifting on his feet. Gabriel continued chatting to Bobby about how long he would need to be in the hospital, unaware of what was happening between Castiel and Dean.
Dean cleared his throat and headed for the door, “Gonna call Sam. I’ll be back in a few minutes Bobby.”
As soon as Dean was out of the room, Castiel moved to up Bobby’s morphine dose. By the time Dean came back into the room, Bobby would be sleeping. Hopefully.
Five minutes later, Gabriel and Castiel were quietly exiting Bobby’s room, not wanting to wake him up again.
“Man is going to be a handful,” Gabriel grumbled, handing a packet of gummy worms over to Castiel.
Castiel nodded his agreement, stuffed the candy into his pocket for later, “I’ll see you later Gabriel. Don’t get caught up in surgery, I plan to be drunk by nine.”
“You got it.”
Gabriel turned and headed down the hallway towards the doctor’s lounge and Castiel turned to head back to the nurses’ station so he could pick up the rest of his patient charts and do his rounds.
Dean was standing a few feet away, glaring at Gabriel’s back.
Castiel frowned again, caught Dean’s eye and his frown deepened when Dean blushed, gave a little wave, and disappeared into Bobby’s room.
Castiel filed this new peculiarity away under one more thing he would need to figure out about Dean Winchester.
Man was a mystery.
As soon as his shift was over, Gabriel and Castiel left work and headed to the bar that was in Castiel’s neighborhood so Castiel could get as drunk as he wanted. And he wanted to get really drunk after the day he’d had.
Gabriel had been buying him round after round of strawberry daiquiris and some other god-awful fruity drink. It was free alcohol though, so Castiel didn’t turn them down. About an hour ago, those fruity drinks had turned into shots of tequila and Castiel was well on his way to abandoning complete and coherent thought for the night, which he was perfectly okay with.
“Why are we friends, Gabriel?” Castiel’s voice was slurred, partially from the alcohol and partially due to the fact that his cheek was smooshed against the table as he twirled his empty shot glass around, watching the lights play through the glass.
“Because I’m awesome?” Gabriel offered, snatching the empty shot glass from Castiel’s fingers and replacing it with a full one.
Castiel straightened, downed the shot and wiped something sticky from his cheek.
“Seriously.”
“I dunno why Cas, we just are.”
“Is it because of the candy? I think it’s because of the candy. I like you for your candy Gabe, and that’s it!”
Gabriel grinned at him; he’d stopped drinking the strong liquor a few hours ago and had stuck with beer. Castiel felt a little bad, but it was Gabriel’s own choice. Not like he would mind if his friend crashed on his couch. Or in Castiel’s own bed.
Castiel must have made a face at that thought because Gabriel chuckled, “What’s with that constipated look?”
“I just thought about us having sex. I may like you for your candy, Gabriel, but I don’t think I could have sex with you.”
Gabriel chuckled and reached over the table to pat Castiel’s hand, “That’s okay, bucko; I view you as a little brother more than anything. Don’t think I could have sex with my little brother.”
Castiel peered over at Gabriel, eyes wide, “You view me as a little brother?”
“Of course I do, you dolt. I thought we were both in agreement on that one.”
Castiel blinked, then grinned over at the doctor, “I’d hug you right now, but I think if I stood up I’d either vomit or face plant. Possibly both.”
Gabriel grinned, “Best you stay seated then.”
Two shots later and Castiel was blurting, “I don’t understand Dean.”
“The guy with the nurse phobia?”
Castiel waved his hand, “He’s not nursephobic, he was just worried about his brother. But yes that’s him.”
“What are you doing still talking to him?”
“I don’t know. I thought he hated me, but now he won’t stop texting me and asking me out for drinks. He made it painfully clear that he wasn’t gay! So why the fuck is he acting like he’s interested in me?!”
Gabriel chuckled and handed another shot of tequila over to Castiel, “Maybe he’s confused. You should introduce him to the wonders of gay sex.”
Castiel scowled down at the shot in his hand, “I don’t want to be someone’s experiment, Gabriel. That happened once before and it just ended up in heartbreak for me. I’m tired of dating asshats. I just want to be loved. Why won’t anyone love me?”
“You’re getting maudlin.”
“Oh fuck you.”
“Drink up kiddo. We’ll find your happily ever after.”
Castiel scowled again but downed the shot and the next one that was shoved into his hand, “There’s no such thing.”
The next morning Castiel woke in his own bed, naked and with a pounding in his head that could rival the crew of Stomp!. He hoped he was naked for all the right reasons, but the sight of Gabriel standing in the doorway eating Castiel’s cheesecake banished that hopeful thought.
“Morning sunshine,” Gabriel chirped, shoveling more cheesecake into his mouth.
“Die.”
“Your life would be very dull and not complete, if that were to happen.”
“Why am I naked?”
“No idea. I think you thought it was a good idea last night. You were probably right though, there’s just no saving clothes after they’ve been drunken vomited on.”
“Please stop talking about vomit,” Castiel groaned.
“There was also something about texting and Dean last night. You wouldn’t shut up about it, especially when you got naked and crawled into bed.” Another bit of Castiel’s cheesecake disappeared into Gabriel’s mouth.
Castiel attempted to aim a scowl in Gabriel’s direction, but his room was too bright and he was too intent on searching for his phone amongst his blanket and pillows. His phone found, he glared at Gabriel and thumbed his phone on, flipping to his messages, hoping and praying he hadn’t drunk texted Dean last night.
But there they were, several texts. Shit.
i’m naked
He did. He totally drunk texted Dean last night, “Fuck.”
Gabriel chuckled from the doorway, “You’ve got it bad dude.”
you should be here
“Fuck my life.”
Castiel knew he should just ignore the rest of the texts, but some sick sense of curiosity had him wondering what else he’d sent to Dean last night.
your cock would be a good fit for my ass right now
“Oh my God.”
“Sounds like a good time was had by all.” Gabriel chuckled again and Castiel had it in his mind to tackle the smug bastard, but he was naked and that probably would end badly for everyone involved.
did i mention i’m naked?
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
i look amazing naked or so i’ve been told
Castiel glared over at Gabriel again and asked, “Why didn’t you take my phone from me last night?”
“Thought you were passed out.” Castiel eyed Gabriel doubtfully; Gabriel had probably known full well that Castiel was awake, and was, in his own way, trying to help. Dean would probably never talk to Castiel again though, after he looked at his messages.
also been told i take it up the ass like a pro. The last text caused Castiel to toss his phone aside and pull a pillow over his head, wishing for death or something close to it.
“I’m never drinking again,” Castiel mumbled finally.
“S’what they all say.”
At least Dean hadn’t responded to any of those texts. Could mean Dean had been sleeping like a normal person would be at that time of night. Or maybe they hadn’t gone through, or Castiel had sent them to the wrong person.
Fuck, he’d drunk texted Dean Winchester. He’d never hear from him again and Sam would be warned off. He’d just royally fucked up his pathetic social life because of a few drinks. This is why Gabriel was dangerous; this was why Castiel should never have crushes on straight men.
He really couldn’t deal with this shit when his head was pounding like a damn mariachi band had set up camp in there. And certainly not when his stomach was rolling around and his mouth felt like something had died in there.
“Want some cheesecake?” Gabriel asked, plopping down on the bed beside Castiel. There was a meow in response to Castiel’s moan and he lifted the blanket enough for Lupe to crawl under it and move down to lay by his feet, purring contently.
“Seriously, die in a fire,” Castiel grumbled finally when he felt he wouldn’t puke next time he opened his mouth.
Gabriel chuckled again then bounded off the bed when someone knocked on Castiel’s front door.
“If it’s my sister… I died from alcohol poisoning and it’s all your fault!”
“Sure, Cas!”
Castiel rolled onto his stomach and dragged the pillows up over his head to block out the light coming in through the windows. He kicked the sheets down since said light was shining on him like a bitch and it was hot in his room. He vaguely listened for Gabriel and whoever had been at his door. When he didn’t hear anything he figured it had been a nosey neighbor making sure Castiel was still alive, since as drunk as he’d been last night he probably hadn’t been quiet.
“Hey, Cassie, you’ve got a guest.”
Castiel winced at the nickname and mumbled into his pillow, “Why haven’t you died yet?”
“Is that the way to speak to the guy who made sure you didn’t fall asleep face down in a puddle of your own puke?” Castiel groaned at that particular image and froze when he heard a very familiar chuckle. Dean was here.
Here in Castiel’s apartment, standing in Castiel’s bedroom when Castiel was naked and had the sheets rucked down around his waist and absolutely nothing else covering him. After Castiel had drunk texted him, basically telling Dean he’d have liked Dean to be there, fucking him. Dean was here.
Castiel was done with life. Over. Kaput. He could not show his face in public anymore, ever, not after this epic fuckfest. Castiel dragged the pillow from his head and cracked an eye open and turned to look at Dean over his shoulder. Gabriel was still munching on the cheesecake and Dean was staring. Like, really staring. It made Castiel shiver and resist the urge to roll over, kick the sheet off the rest of the way and throw his legs open in invitation.
He really turned into a whore when he went long periods without sex apparently.
This was not good for his pathetic social life.
Castiel cleared his throat, ignored the smirk Gabriel was shooting him and muttered, “Morning?”
“Afternoon,” Dean corrected. Castiel shrugged, rolled over and sat up, making sure the sheet remained firmly in place.
“I’ll leave you two to it.” Gabriel grinned and turned to disappear to wherever.
“Don’t eat all my cheesecake you asshat!” Castiel shouted after him. Gabriel simply laughed and nothing more was said.
“So…” Dean shifted and Castiel hoped the blush burning over his cheeks wasn’t visible.
Castiel cleared his throat again, “You mind giving me a minute? I’m kinda… naked?”
Dean snorted and Castiel caught sight of a blush tinting Dean’s cheeks pink as he looked away from Castiel and rubbed the back of his neck, “So you mentioned.”
Castiel shifted uncomfortably, coughed, “Yeah… uh. Awkward. I’d like to get dressed so… can you gimmie a minute?”
Dean flushed again, eyes skirting over Castiel’s chest and Castiel fought that urge to be a complete slut again, then Dean was turning and exiting the room. Castiel sighed and flopped back into his bed, Lupe wiggled out from under the blankets, annoyed at all the moving around going on.
She gave Castiel a baleful glare; he glared back and snapped, “Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.” Lupe meowed at him in a disappointing manner and leapt off the bed and left the room in an indignant huff.
Cats.
By the time Castiel felt remotely human enough to show his face; Gabriel had eaten all his cheesecake and vacated the premises. A smart move on his part as Castiel would have hit him for finishing the cheesecake Castiel himself had been looking forward to eating.
Castiel scowled at the empty box resting on his kitchen counter, and went about making himself a cup of coffee and feeding Lupe before she ended up killing him by tripping him.
“That cat is a menace,” Dean said from the kitchen doorway, watching as Castiel sidestepped her again.
“I wouldn’t have her any other way.” Castiel muttered, bending and picking up the black ball of fluff. She meowed, annoyed about being manhandled, but settled and calmed when he cradled her like she was an infant. She began purring when he rubbed her exposed belly and her yellow eyes half-closed.
Dean chuckled and moved to stand in front of Castiel, reaching out to pet the cat’s head while Castiel muttered, “I found her abandoned in an alleyway. She was severely malnourished and dehydrated-pretty much just skin and bones. I took her to a vet since she was only about four weeks old; they told me she wouldn’t make it through the night and would do their best to make her comfortable.”
Dean snorted and Castiel nodded, running his fingers through Lupe’s long fur.
“It kind of annoyed me that they weren’t going to try. They just assumed she was going to die. So I brought her home, ‘borrowed’ some supplies from the hospital and nursed her back to health myself.”
Dean smiled, fingers scratching through the shorter fur on the cat’s head, “That’s pretty awesome of you.”
“Everyone and everything deserves a chance to fight,” Castiel muttered, patting Lupe on the butt before dropping her back to the ground. She glared up at him but did her weird mrumpf sound when he placed her bowl of food onto the floor.
Dean stepped towards the coffee machine, which had stopped its burbling, and found two cups to pour the coffee into. Castiel watched him for a moment before finally asking, “So… why are you here?”
“Um… saw your texts from last night.” Castiel coughed, grabbed his cup of coffee and turned away from Dean, hoping to hide the reddening of his face.
“Sam somehow convinced me to come and talk to you about it. I didn’t think there was anything to talk about.”
Castiel coughed again, sipped his coffee and muttered, “Right.”
“There’s nothing to talk about… right?” Castiel looked over his shoulder at Dean who was giving him a contemplative look. Castiel just wanted to blurt everything out: how much he actually liked Dean, how he wanted to date and fuck and live together and get a puppy. Castiel hadn’t had feelings like that for a very long time and Dean was just bringing them all out of him. It was dangerous, especially since Dean probably didn’t feel like that. How could he? He was straight for crying out loud.
“Absolutely nothing,” Castiel mumbled instead, “I was… spectacularly drunk last night.”
“Figured.” Dean fidgeted a little, cleared his throat and asked, “Want to go out and get some breakfast then?”
“Don’t you mean lunch?”
“Denny’s dude. Best cure for a hangover.”
Castiel knew he shouldn’t. Should spare himself the inevitable heartbreak that would come from liking Dean in this way. Dean would one day find a nice woman and marry her and Castiel would just be… something. A friend maybe, Castiel didn’t know. He’d be the man on the sidelines wishing he could have what he couldn’t, that’s what.
He knew he shouldn’t, but he smiled and nodded, “Sounds good.”
Castiel tried to ignore Jess’ staring and continue working on entering patient information into the computer.
Finally he’d had enough. He spun his chair around and gripped the arms of Jess’ making sure to keep her facing him, “Okay, what Jess?”
“Sam told me you and Dean went on a date the other day.”
Castiel sighed and released her chair, “It wasn’t a date.”
“Sounded like one. He took you out for lunch, paid for it, and you two sat around talking for a few hours.”
Well, put like that.
“It wasn’t a date. I was hungover. He was… feeding me.”
“What, are you his dog now?”
Castiel glared at Jess’ smile, “Don’t you have patients that need tending Jessica?”
“It’s two in the morning; no patients are awake.” Castiel sighed, then grinned when one of the patients hit the call button.
“Mr. Singer needs some attention.”
Jess’ eyes widened, “No way! Mr. Singer hates everyone! Plus he’s your patient!”
Castiel pointed his pen at her, grinning, “I’m charge nurse tonight. You have to do what I say, if I switch the patients around then tough shit. Now go see what he needs.”
“But you’re always charge nurse.” Jess was practically whining now. Castiel couldn’t help but grin.
“Then you take that up with Ellen. Personally, I’d like a break from being charge, but Ellen has decided it’s me or Anna, and Anna and I have been put on different schedules.”
Jess sighed then reluctantly pulled herself up from the chair and slowly made her way down the hall towards Bobby’s room. Castiel’s grin vanished when Ruby took up Jess’ seat and asked, “So, you gotten laid yet Novak? Heard you had a new boy toy.”
Castiel shot out of his chair, “Jess, I’ll do it. You chart.” Jess grinned and returned to the nurses’ station while Castiel continued down to Bobby’s room. He’d have to think of a way to get back at Jess and her big mouth. He didn’t need it circulating around the floor that Castiel had finally gotten himself a new boyfriend. Especially to Becky and Chuck’s ears. He’d never hear the end of it then.
He stepped into Bobby’s room and the first thing the other man had to say was, “Since you’re dating Dean now, does that mean I have to be nice to you? Or will you go crying to your boyfriend?”
Castiel smacked his hand to his forehead. He was going to kill both Sam and Jess for their big mouths.
After the breakfast, or lunch, he’d had with Dean, they’d agreed to do it at least once a week. According to Dean he didn’t have many friends, and going out to lunch was something friends did right? Castiel agreed to it because he liked seeing someone that he also didn’t see at work. Plus there was that little part of him that liked to suffer and pine after Dean at every available chance.
Sometimes Castiel just wondered if he liked punishing himself. He’d just gotten off work and had agreed to meet Dean for their breakfast/lunch whatever. This time though, Rachel had insisted on joining them, at eight months pregnant Castiel couldn’t find it in himself to deny her anything. Especially when he’d been extraordinarily busy at work the night before and all he wanted to do was go to bed and sleep for a year.
“So, where is this dream man of yours?” Rachel muttered, glaring at her orange juice.
Castiel eyed her, ignored her jab, “What did the orange juice ever do to you?”
“It’s not coffee, that’s what it’s done to me.”
“You know you’re not allowed coffee.” Castiel mumbled, pulling his own cup of coffee closer in case she tried to steal it from him. Most family members were smart enough to know not to steal Castiel’s coffee unless you wanted some serious hurt brought down on your head. Raphael had learned that lesson the hard way-not that Castiel was complaining. Throwing a cup of scalding hot coffee all over his elder brother’s lap was one of his fonder memories of home.
Rachel, though, with her pregnancy hormones swinging everywhere, would probably find it okay to steal Castiel’s coffee, punishment be damned.
Rachel snorted at Castiel’s defensive posturing before sipping her orange juice and looking around the diner, “You didn’t answer my question.”
“I look like a freakin’ GPS device to you? I don’t know where he is.”
Rachel huffed, sipped her juice again and calmly asked, “So when are you going to ask him out?”
Castiel choked on his coffee then glared over at his sister, “Never? He’s straight.”
“Doubt it.”
“Rachel...”
“Seriously, it’s like he’s been dating you these last couple months. He’s always texting you, always asking you to go out with him and now you two have started up this weekly brunch thing. The guy is totally into you, Cas.”
Castiel sighed, rolled his eyes up to the ceiling and asked for the continued patience to deal with his sister, “Seriously, Rachel. The man is straight and set in his ways.”
“You ever gonna try? Give him a chance?”
“I’m not going to be someone’s experiment. Surely you remember how that ended up for me last time?”
Rachel sighed then rolled her eyes at him when Castiel perked up like a Labrador when he spotted Dean coming into the diner. Castiel honestly didn’t know what it was about Dean that brought all these annoying feelings to the surface; feelings Castiel had worked hard to keep buried and hidden amongst his one-night stands and flings. Feelings that left him open and vulnerable to the pain of being left behind and heartbroken. Dean made him want to have something more again, and wasn’t that just the kicker.
“You’re so smitten.” Rachel muttered, smiling at Dean as he slid into the booth across from them. They had met briefly when they’d all gone to the beach those months ago, but Dean had been stuck in the backseat listening to Becky talk about gay sex instead of being introduced to Castiel’s younger sister. Rachel, for some reason, had insisted on joining the two of them; Castiel just hoped she didn’t launch into her ‘I love my big brother very much and if you hurt him I’ll rip you to shreds’ speech.
He’d heard it enough times and there had yet to be any shredding taking place.
“Sorry I’m late. Sammy was being a bitch.”
Castiel smiled at him and pushed an empty coffee cup towards him, “No problem. Uh, not sure if you remember, but this is my little sister Rachel. She wanted to come along today.”
“Yeah I remember. You look ready to pop now, though.” Dean smiled at her and shook her hand when Rachel held it out.
Rachel gave him the stink eye for a moment before smiling, “Yeah, eight months. I’m ready to have this damn kid already.”
Dean snorted. Castiel elbowed her in the side and they all ordered their breakfasts when the waitress finally approached their table. They fell into a comfortable silence, Castiel and Dean making up their coffee how they liked it (Dean: cream with no sugar; while Castiel “destroyed his with cream and sugar,” according to Dean anyway).
“So, you’re the guy making Cassie go all a flutter, huh?” Rachel blurted, watching with raised eyebrows as Dean handed Castiel the amount of sugar packets Castiel liked to pour into his coffee.
Castiel felt himself blush, then he glared over at Rachel and elbowed her side again, “Ignore Rachel, the baby seems to have destroyed all higher brain function.”
“At least I’ve been-”
“Complete that sentence at your own peril,” Castiel growled, glaring again. Rachel smiled sweetly and they all turned their attention to the food when it was brought over.
“So, how was work Cas?” Dean asked finally, mouth full of scrambled eggs.
“Busy. We were short staffed and one of my patients kept coding.”
“Damn, that sucks.”
Castiel grunted his agreement and shoveled more pancakes into his mouth since he was just as hungry as he was exhausted. It took him a moment to remember he hadn’t eaten since before he’d gone into work last night. He’d been too busy to take his dinner break the night before; something that was frowned upon, but not something he could help. He’d barely had time to pee, for crying out loud.
Castiel fended Rachel off when she attempted to steal his hash browns and Dean asked, “Everything okay with that patient?”
“They were stable when I left this morning. I’ll find out more tomorrow night when I go back.”
“Cassie is awesome at his job; he wouldn’t let anything happen to them!” Castiel rolled his eyes at Rachel, slapped her hand away when it tried to steal his hash browns again and tried to keep his blush from spreading when he caught sight of Dean grinning at him from across the table.
Rachel chuckled, kissed Castiel’s cheek, “Well, I’m out of here. Leave you two to it. I’ll come by later Cas.”
Castiel eyed her suspiciously before nodding, “I’ll probably be sleeping, so either be quiet when you invade my bed or just don’t bother me until I wake from natural causes.” Rachel grinned at him, kissed his cheek again and hauled herself out of the booth and waddled out of the diner.
“Well she’s subtle,” Dean muttered, the two of them watching as she paused by the window they were sitting at to wink before heading off again. Castiel turned his glare over at Dean who grinned innocently over at him.
They fell into silence after that, sipping their coffee and pushing the remains of their breakfasts on their plates. Despite how tired Castiel was, he didn’t really want to leave Dean’s company. He always enjoyed being around Dean, even if they sometimes bickered and fought over the stupidest shit.
“How did you know you were gay?” Dean blurted out suddenly. Castiel blinked, coffee cup frozen halfway to his mouth.
“Um, what?”
“How did you know you were gay?”
Castiel sighed, took a sip of coffee and lowered the cup back to the table, “I don’t see myself as gay. Don’t see myself as anything really. I like who I like, regardless of gender.”
Dean hummed, brow furrowed in concentration.
Castiel eyed him for a moment before saying, “When I was younger I was strictly into girls. Didn’t even look or think about guys like that. Then came along Nick, and suddenly I was looking at this guy and feeling attracted to him and only him. No other guys really did it for me. I kind of figured it out from there. I like who I like. Not because of what’s on the outside, but what’s on the inside. Labels don’t really mean anything to me. I think they’re ridiculous.”
“That’s a good philosophy.” Dean muttered, eyes focused on Castiel before he turned his attention elsewhere.
“I like to think so. Meet a lot of interesting people that way.”
“I bet.” Castiel looked back to Dean, something in the tone of his voice that Castiel couldn’t put a name to and found Dean staring. Very intently.
“What?”
“I... think... I kind of like you.”
Castiel’s heart stuttered in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to throw himself across the table and kiss Dean breathless, instead he simply said, “Oh.”
“And it’s just you,” Dean carried on, acting like he hadn’t heard Castiel. “I’ve looked at other guys, thinking maybe this is something I missed when I was growing up, but it’s only you that gets to me.”
“I see.”
“So, I don’t know. I feel like an idiot. Like we’re back in elementary school or some shit. Check yes or no if you like me. I like girls and you clearly aren’t a girl.”
Castiel didn’t really know what to say. “Clearly.”
Dean nodded, cleared his throat and looked out the window, “Well there you go. Now you know.”
Castiel nodded, sighed, and muttered, “Well, I like you too, Dean. So you know.” Castiel looked away, feeling his face turning a brilliant red.
“Oh yeah?” And God did Dean sound ten kinds of hopeful. Castiel kept his gaze down, not wanting to look up because if he got caught in that hopeful look there was no stopping what Castiel would do. He’d probably crawl under the table and blow Dean in thanks.
“Yes, but like you said Dean, you like women. Obviously, I’m not a woman. That might prove to be a problem.”
“Well...” Dean hesitated and Castiel finally looked up to see Dean fidgeting with his coffee cup, gaze firmly on the cooling liquid held within, “I’d be willing to try something,” Castiel jerked, nearly knocking his own coffee cup off the table in his shock. That had been the last thing he’d been expecting to hear from Dean, “Maybe... fuck I feel like such a girl talking about this.”
Castiel wanted nothing more than to say yes, to just dive right in and give this a shot like he knew he should. The small part inside of him, though, that had been burned repeatedly, that was screaming at him that he’d already taken too many chances, suffered enough heartbreak made him say, “I don’t know Dean. I’ve been in this kind of situation before and it didn’t exactly work out for me. So you need to be sure. Like, really, really sure that this is something you want to do.”
Dean stared at him, sucked on his bottom lip before asking, “So how do I prove it to you?”
Castiel blinked, it felt like his heart was in his throat and his stomach was in his feet. How was he even supposed to respond to that?
“I…”
“Cas?”
Castiel slowly stood from the table, hesitated then muttered, “I should go.”
“What? Wait…”
“I can’t…”
He turned and headed for the door, ignoring Dean’s confused protests. Castiel was in his car and heading for home before he realized what had happened. He had panicked and fled. Part of him was regretting the decision while the other told him he’d done the right thing. The look on Dean’s face, however…
If he had done the right thing, why did he feel so wrong?
Castiel tried not to fidget under Sam Winchester’s stare. He knew accepting Sam’s request for coffee had been a bad idea, especially after how Castiel had left Dean in the diner the week before.
Sam calmly stirred his coffee, never removing his gaze from Castiel. It made Castiel want to squirm in his seat, it brought back memories of his father and Michael staring at him in the same way when he’d announced his intentions to go to nursing school instead.
“I know Dean doesn’t seem like the best guy. He drinks too much, he sleeps around too much and is allergic to feelings. But he is a good guy.”
“I know he is, Sam.”
“He’s loyal. Once he makes up his mind on something, when he wants something bad enough, he won’t stop. He’d never let you go, Cas.”
Castiel swallowed and stared miserably into his own coffee. He knew he shouldn’t have run off like he had, but he’d panicked. Was still panicking. He wanted Dean, had wanted him for a long time, and now that it was a possibility he was scared.
“I just... panicked it all. I was, I am scared.”
“You’re not the only one. You think after only wanting women for his whole life and suddenly wanting a man is easy for Dean? He took a chance and you kind of threw it back in his face. Despite that, he is willing to give you another shot. You just have to man up enough to go for it.”
Castiel sighed and stared miserably up at Sam. Sam smiled, reached across the table and patted Cas’ hand, “I like you Cas. You’re a good friend now and I think you’d be good for Dean. So go home, get some rest and go after him. I know you want to.”
Castiel gave Sam a weak smile, “Thanks, Sam.”
“Like I said, you’re a good friend. You hurt my brother again, though, and I will murder you.”
Castiel nodded and Sam stood, gave Cas a pat on the shoulder and walked off down the street. Castiel sighed and swallowed down the last of his now cold coffee and headed home.
He had some thinking to do.
After fleeing from the diner like a coward, after his talk with Sam, after having thrown himself in his job for the last week, Castiel was sprawled on his couch, a large bag of peanut M&M’s resting on his stomach. He had no idea what to do with himself, he’d ignored the texts from Dean and the calls from his sister, Lupe was even giving him unimpressed looks. Castiel knew he should just get over himself, go to Dean and tell him, yes, he wanted to try. He wanted to be everything Dean needed, wanted to prove to himself and to Dean that neither of them had to hurt again to be happy.
The fact that Dean was actually willing to try, was willing to prove it to Castiel that he was in this, should have been answer enough for Castiel. Running out on someone he knows has commitment issues probably wasn’t his brightest idea. He’d probably fucked over his chance with Dean with that brilliant little move.
He was scared, though; emotions that had been tamped down and ignored for years were back and raring to go. Castiel didn’t know what to do with himself.
Which was why he was sprawled out on his couch eating junk food when he should have been sleeping.
“Fuck my life.”
He really shouldn’t have left. Should have given Dean the chance, should have taken the risk. Castiel’s life was turning out to be one giant ‘should have’ and he’d most likely ruined his one chance to have something.
The front door to his apartment opened and Gabriel slipped through, shutting and locking the door before moving to stand in front of Castiel.
“I should kill you for eating my cheesecake.”
Gabriel ignored him, snagged some M&Ms from the bag still sitting on Castiel’s stomach, “Your sister called me.”
“Good for her.”
“Figured you and Winchester would be fucking like bunnies by now.”
Castiel sighed, shoved the bag off his stomach and sat up, “I fucked it up Gabe.”
“It can be fixed.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“How do you know?”
“Because Winchester is sitting out in the parking lot as we speak, looking like he’s been trying to gather his courage for a while now.” Castiel blinked up at Gabriel who smirked and nodded.
Castiel sighed, stood and shoved his shoes back onto his feet and headed for the parking lot, not caring that he was still dressed in his wrinkled and dirty scrubs. If Dean was here, Castiel could at least meet him halfway.
Sure enough, Dean was sitting in the Impala, parked next to Castiel’s Audi. His hands were clenched around the steering wheel and his eyes were closed so he didn’t see Castiel approaching. Which was all and well, since Castiel took a small amount of joy in seeing Dean jump several inches when Castiel let himself into the passenger seat.
“Cas-“
Castiel held up a hand, cutting Dean off. He settled himself into the seat, sighed and muttered, “I shouldn’t have bolted off like that, or ignored you. I’m sorry. You’re probably as freaked out as I am.”
Dean snorted and nodded.
“I, uh… I’ve been thinking that uh, well…” Castiel sighed and ran a hand through his hair, tugging a little to try and bring his thoughts to order.
“I told you awhile back that everyone and everything deserves a fighting chance. It was selfish of me to not give you that chance. If you’re still willing to try Dean, I am too. I don’t want to live a life of should haves and wondering what could have been.”
Castiel folded his hands into his lap and closed his eyes, waiting to either be kicked out or… or something. He didn’t know.
He jumped when he felt Dean take hold of one of his hands and looked over at Dean, smiling a little when Dean squeezed his hand.
“Thanks Cas, for giving me a chance. Not many people do.”
Castiel returned the squeeze, smiled and whispered, “You definitely deserve it.”
Epilogue
Castiel stared down at the bundle in his arms; he’d been a little wary to how he would react when Rachel finally gave birth, but right now Balthazar and everything connected to him was forgotten. He was an uncle, he would forgive anything right now, and he already had.
He’d still kick Balthazar’s ass for good measure though, if he ever saw him again.
“I’m never going to get him back am I?” Rachel asked quietly, grinning despite the fact that she may never see her son again.
Castiel grinned again and shook his head, “Nope, there will be reports of a baby napping later, I assure you. I have access to the nursery, too… just you wait.” He didn’t care how ridiculous he looked standing there in his sister’s hospital room, holding his nephew and cooing down at him with the biggest, dorkiest smile on his face.
“Hand him back, Cas.”
“No.”
“Cas.”
“He’s my namesake; I’m allowed to hold him for however long I want to.” Castiel grumbled, tucking the blue blanket in around the small body.
“He’s not your namesake.”
“Totally my namesake. My middle name is James, you named him James. So fuck off, he’s my namesake.”
Rachel rolled her eyes and Dean approached, settling a hand on Castiel’s shoulder, “Don’t you have to go back to work?”
Castiel sighed, nodded and very reluctantly handed his nephew back to his sister. He’d been running back and forth from the Med/Surg floor to the Labor and Delivery floor ever since Rachel had called to tell him she’d gone into labor.
Safe to say, Castiel had been driving everyone insane.
Sam and Jess had stopped by earlier to offer up their congratulations before leaving again. There’d been a steady stream of nurses and doctors in to see Castiel’s new nephew as well. Castiel almost felt like a proud father, which was maybe a little awkward; not that he cared.
Dean squeezed his shoulder then muttered, “Don’t tell me you’re going to want one of your own now.”
Castiel snorted, “God no. I barely have time to feed Lupe. I will settle for babysitting as often as possible, though.”
“Cas, I think Jimmy and I here will become a permanent fixture in your apartment, have no doubt.” Rachel muttered, yawning mightily as Jimmy was taken from her and wheeled out to be placed with the other babies.
Castiel smiled and stepped forward to kiss Rachel’s forehead, “You know you’re welcome there whenever you need to. You should get some rest though, and I really do need to get back to work before Ellen decides to skin me alive.”
Rachel smiled sleepily up at him, “Thanks for forgiving me Cas. Don’t think I’d be able to do this without you.”
“You’re my sister, of course I forgive you. Get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” Rachel nodded and promptly drifted off to sleep. Castiel smiled, tucked the blankets in around her before joining Dean out in the hallway.
“So uncle, huh?”
“It would seem so.” Castiel looped his arm through Dean’s and they headed for the elevators at the end of the hallway so Castiel could get back to work and Dean could head back to his own apartment.
“So, I’ve been thinking.” Dean said as they waited.
“I hope you didn’t strain anything.”
“Oh, fuck you. You want to hear it or not?” Castiel waved his free hand, indicating Dean carry on.
“Anyway, I’ve been thinking. Sam is moving in with Jess, now that he’s done with law school, and my lease is almost up.”
Castiel had a faint idea as to where this was going, “Uh-huh.”
“And, uh, I know we’ve only been officially dating for like a month and a half, but we’ve known each other for longer than that.”
“Yes.”
“So, I was wondering if... well, I spend most of my free time over at your place anyway, so…” Dean sighed and trailed off as the elevator doors dinged open.
Castiel tugged him back as he took a step forward though and whispered, “I’d love for you to move in with me Dean.”
Dean grinned at him, eyes bright and hopeful, “Yeah?”
Castiel swallowed his own fears, his own insecurities and returned the grin, “Yeah.”
Dean stared at him for a brief moment before smirking and leaning forward to whisper in Castiel’s ear, “You know… there’s a supply closet down the hall.”
“This isn’t that medical show you’re addicted to, Dean.” Castiel mumbled, leaning into Dean’s warmth, his own smirk in place.
“Firstly, I’m not addicted to it; sometimes it’s just the only thing on. Secondly… you look really hot in your scrubs?”
Castiel snorted, grabbed Dean’s hand and tugged him down the hallway, “I can maybe squeeze out another fifteen minutes before I have to go back, so you’ll have to be quick.”
Dean smirked, shoving Castiel in through the open supply closet door, “Think I can work with that.”
Two weeks later and Castiel was sitting behind the nurses’ station again. He was paying attention to his phone this time around though, playing a round of Words With Friends with Sam. The two of them had met up twice: once for coffee where they ended up talking about books of all things, the second time had been at the college when Castiel had gone to hunt up information on how he could go about getting his Master’s degree and what it would do for his career. Sam had been there with Jess and they’d ended up chatting for a few hours about their respective degrees.
Castiel liked Sam; he was smart and easy to get along with. He was also Castiel’s first friend that didn’t work in the damn hospital, which was a little weird, but nice. Made Castiel feel not quite so pathetic when he thought about his social life.
Thankfully, he hadn’t met up with Dean yet, not since the gas incident anyway, which he was glad for. Castiel couldn’t handle Dean right now. Not with how he looked, and how he acted and pretty much just everything in general.
They had texted quite a bit though, which was nice. Kept him company on the slow nights at work and when he was busy at home doing absolutely nothing.
His phone buzzed in his hand and he glanced down at it, expecting it to be his turn against Sam, instead it was a text from Dean asking, u workin?
Yes, I’m allowed to go home at eleven though. Which was only in thirty minutes. Castiel was silently rejoicing and doing a damn fine job of looking busy so that Ellen wouldn’t change her mind and keep him here for the night in retaliation.
Wanna meet 4 drinks?
Castiel frowned at his phone; surely Dean had people who didn’t annoy him to go out and have drinks with. With a shrug, he responded with an affirmative and they agreed to meet at one of the bars that were halfway between the hospital and the town they both lived further up north.
Forty-five minutes later Castiel was pulling into the parking lot of the bar. His eyes landed immediately on Dean who was leaning back against a black behemoth of a car, patiently awaiting Castiel’s arrival.
Castiel pulled into the spot next to Dean’s car and hauled himself out of the car. Dean eyed him then asked, “Seriously? You’re going into a bar in your scrubs?”
Castiel looked down at the black scrubs he’d donned earlier that evening and shrugged, “I didn’t bring a change with me since I didn’t plan on going out afterwards. Plus it gets me free drinks sometimes.”
Dean jerked his chin at Castiel’s chest, “That get you free drinks too?”
Castiel glanced down again with a frown, if Dean was so annoyed with his scrubs he could just turn around and go home or go in without him, Castiel didn’t care. Wasn’t like they were best friends or anything. Castiel pulled the RN badge and his hospital ID off from where they were clipped to his chest. “No, but they do get me out of tickets if I get pulled over when I’m driving home.”
He turned back towards his car and tossed them into the passenger seat before locking the car again and following Dean towards the bar entrance.
“Seriously?”
“Cops don’t give the nurses tickets, they know better.”
“I don’t believe you.” Castiel shrugged and nodded his thanks when Dean held the door open and stepped into the bar. It was a nicer bar than the ones he would usually go into; nicer than the ones he imagined Dean going into as well, so it wasn’t as loud as it could have been. The lighting was dim and intimate and most people were dressed up, mostly businessmen and women on their way home from work.
“Well, nurses are the ones who take care of the cops when they come into the hospital. We’re more important than the doctors, usually; we do more. You really don’t wanna piss off your nurse.”
Their conversation was put on hold while they ordered their drinks, Dean shot Castiel a glare when, sure enough, the bartender gave him his beer for free. Castiel smirked at him and they headed off to one of the few open tables in the back near the windows.
“You wouldn’t give someone crappy treatment just ‘cause they gave you a ticket though, would you?”
“Of course not. But they don’t need to know that.”
Dean snorted and sipped his beer, they fell into a semi-awkward silence, both sipping their beers and watching the people around them.
“I would have figured you for someone who would buy a hybrid or some shit like that.” Castiel startled out of watching a group of college students playing pool and turned back to Dean with a slight frown.
“What?”
“Your new car. Figured you would have bought a hybrid instead of a sports car.”
Castiel snorted and shrugged, “Hybrids are nice I guess. They’re not really solving the problem though. Sure, they use less gas, but they still use gas so they’re just hiding the issue. I’d rather wait for an electric, or one of those hydrogen-fueled cars. I don’t think my car would have lasted that long though, so I needed something new and why not something fun?”
Dean shrugged and smiled around his beer bottle.
“Plus, I’d rather not drive something that looks like a giant suppository,” Castiel added, smirking when Dean’s beer went spraying across the table.
“I’ll never look at a Prius the same way,” Dean muttered. Castiel grinned at him and saluted him with his drink before finishing it off.
A few hours later, the two of them were sitting on a bench outside of the bar. It may have been mid-July and the day may have been warm, but the fog had rolled in from the bay and the night was cool. It was nice, though, so Castiel didn’t mind the occasional shiver whenever a slight breeze blew.
Dean was relaxed beside him, head tilted back to watch the fog moving above them. Neither of them had had more than two beers since they still needed to drive home, but Castiel, for some reason, wasn’t quite ready to leave Dean’s side, and Dean seemed reluctant to leave his.
“So why did you call me out for drinks?” Castiel blurted a few minutes later.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
Castiel held up a hand to count off the reasons, “I’m gay, I annoy you and I’m sure you have plenty of other people willing to go out with you.”
“I don’t have anything against gay guys.”
Castiel raised an eyebrow, expressing his disbelief.
“Seriously, I don’t. You’re just a bit of a dick is all.”
Castiel snorted. “I’m a peach to be around. You’re just a bit of a douche. It’s how I respond to douchiness; by being a dick.”
Dean snorted from beside him, “Whatever. Despite your occasional dickishness, I think you’re an interesting person and, for some reason, I want to get to know you. Plus, believe it or not, I don’t actually have a lot of friends.”
“Must be the douche in you.”
Castiel grinned innocently at the glare Dean shot him.
Another few minutes passed before Dean was clapping a hand down on his thigh, “I need to get home. I have to get up early for work in the morning.” Castiel nodded and pulled himself up to his feet. He was ready to go home, pass out and sleep in since he had tomorrow off. He was pretty sure Gabriel had the day off tomorrow too, maybe he’d finally call his friend and they’d could go out and do something.
Like get Castiel laid.
“We should do this again. Next time I’ll help you pick up a chick.” It was Dean’s turn to raise an incredulous brow at Castiel.
“I don’t need help picking up chicks, dude.”
“Help picking out someone who isn’t a complete slut, I mean. Haven’t you heard? Having a gay friend makes it easy to pick girls up. Or guys, depending on your gender.”
Dean snorted and shook his head while he pulled his keys from his pocket, muttering something under his breath that sounded a lot like, “Fucking California.”
Castiel snickered, pulled out his own keys and waved his goodbye to Dean as he slid into the driver’s seat. Dean waited until Castiel had started up the car and was beginning to pull out before following him; apparently, Dean was the type to follow Castiel to make sure he got home okay.
The thought brought a smile to Castiel’s face and he shook his head.
Much to his dismay Dean was growing on him. He wanted more from Dean, a something more that he would never be able to get or have.
That thought knocked the smile right off of Castiel’s face.
Unfortunately, Castiel was unable to go out with Gabriel the next night. Ellen had called while Castiel had happily been having a dream that included Dean, chocolate sauce, and red velvet cake.
So Castiel wasn’t in the best of moods when he dragged himself into work for the day shift. He hated the day shift; patients were usually awake during the day and required you to talk to them and handle the family. Ellen had said they were short though, and since Castiel had gotten off early the night before, he was the one called in.
Castiel was returning from a run down to the cafeteria to retrieve coffee for himself when he passed by the waiting room. Generally he didn’t pay much attention to the people in the waiting rooms, dealing with the patient’s family usually fell to the doctors, but there was a familiar figure pacing back and forth in the room.
Castiel backtracked and paused in the doorway, watching Dean pace for a moment, “Dean?”
Dean jumped then spun around, “Cas! Thank fuck, I’ve been going insane here!”
“Um.”
“Tell me you know what’s going on.” Castiel simply shook his head while Dean frowned.
“Wait, what are you even doing here? I thought you worked the night shift.”
Castiel took a sip of his coffee and nodded, “I do, but the day shift was short staffed and I was called in. Are you going to tell me what brought you here?”
“Right. Uh, accident at work. Bobby, my boss... Well, let’s just say he broke his leg. Not pretty. They took him into surgery and told me to wait here. I haven’t heard anything since and no one will tell me a damn thing.”
Castiel hummed, turned and headed down the hallway, motioning for Dean to follow him. After a brief hesitation Dean rushed to follow after him, “They told me not to leave the waiting room, are you sure it’s okay for me to be here?”
Castiel sat himself down behind the nurses’ station, set his coffee aside and looked over the patient assignments he’d handed out earlier in the morning, “You’re fine. What’s his name?”
“Bobby Singer.” Dean leaned against the counter, watching as Castiel turned and propelled his chair to the other end of the station, searching out the proper chart. With the chart in hand Castiel turned and pushed himself back to where Dean was waiting.
Castiel quickly flipped through the chart, “He was brought up from post-op not too long ago. Everything went fine in surgery, but no one’s been in to see him yet, so there’s not much.”
“Better than what I was getting. Thanks, Cas.”
Castiel smiled up at Dean, “I’ll switch some patients around so I can be the one keeping an eye on him for you.”
“Cas, you don’t have to-”
“Just say ‘thank you’ Dean.” Dean grunted at him and crossed his arms. Castiel grinned, stood and headed down the hallway towards Bobby’s room, “Come on, you can come in to see him with me. I don’t think he’ll be awake though.”
“Cas, really. I don’t want to get you in trouble.”
“You won’t get me in trouble, Dean. I promise.”
They were a few doors down from Bobby’s room when Castiel heard shouting, a clatter, and Jake, one of the orderlies, came rushing out of the room, cursing under his breath. He stopped when he spotted Castiel, “Oh good. You can deal with him.”
Castiel watched as Jake hurried down the hall then turned to Dean, “That sounds ominous.”
“Bobby isn’t too fond of hospitals.”
Castiel sighed, “Perfect.” Castiel entered the room, plastering on his brightest smile, “Good morning, Mr. Singer. How are you doing?”
The older man glared and crossed his arms over his chest, “You really gotta ask me that? Idjit.”
Dean chuckled and stepped around Castiel, “Be nice Bobby, he’s only doing his job.”
“Well he can get on doing his job and give me some more painkillers.”
Castiel flipped the chart open, took a moment to decipher Gabriel’s messy handwriting, “You’re not due for more morphine for another two hours, Mr. Singer.”
Bobby snorted and glared, “I’m in pain now damnit.”
“On a-”
“If you ask me to rate my pain on a scale of one to ten, I will hit you with my bedpan. It won’t be clean either.”
Castiel sighed and ignored Dean’s snickering from the other side of Bobby’s bed, “I’ll ask your doctor, then, if we can give you a higher dose.”
Castiel turned to the phone so he could page Gabriel; he needed the permission but he also didn’t want to deal with Bobby alone today. Gabriel could suffer with him.
While they waited for Gabriel, Castiel went about doing his other duties and noting them down for Gabriel. Castiel is aware of Dean watching him while he works; he’s not entirely sure what to make of it and, for now, ignores it.
Bobby allows himself to be poked and prodded with minimal grumbling and the occasional idjit tossed in Castiel’s direction. Castiel had the feeling that if Dean weren’t in the room Bobby wouldn’t be so cooperative.
Gabriel, thankfully, entered the room just as Castiel was finishing his exam. He came to stand by Castiel, snagging the chart from Castiel’s hands, “What’s the verdict?”
“He wants more pain medication.” Gabriel hummed, looking over Castiel’s notes before turning to look at Bobby.
When Bobby simply glared at them in response Gabriel moved down to examine Bobby’s leg, which he, along with the orthopedic surgeon, had worked on not long ago.
“On a scale of-”
“I wouldn’t ask him that Gabriel. He threatened to hit me with his bedpan. A dirty one.” Castiel interrupted, smirking at the way Gabriel shuddered.
“Don’t go threatening my favorite nurse now, Mr. Singer.”
Castiel snorted, “If I didn’t know any better Gabe, I’d think you wanted something.”
Gabriel grinned up at him, finished his own examination and wrote out the order for more morphine before handing the chart back to Castiel, “In fact I do. You and me, drinks after work.”
Castiel nodded, more than happy to agree to those terms since they’d been his original plan before being called into work. Dean shifted on the other side of the room, arms crossing over his chest as he leveled a glare at Gabriel. Castiel frowned at Dean, confused at the sudden hostility.
Dean caught Castiel’s look and quickly looked away, shifting on his feet. Gabriel continued chatting to Bobby about how long he would need to be in the hospital, unaware of what was happening between Castiel and Dean.
Dean cleared his throat and headed for the door, “Gonna call Sam. I’ll be back in a few minutes Bobby.”
As soon as Dean was out of the room, Castiel moved to up Bobby’s morphine dose. By the time Dean came back into the room, Bobby would be sleeping. Hopefully.
Five minutes later, Gabriel and Castiel were quietly exiting Bobby’s room, not wanting to wake him up again.
“Man is going to be a handful,” Gabriel grumbled, handing a packet of gummy worms over to Castiel.
Castiel nodded his agreement, stuffed the candy into his pocket for later, “I’ll see you later Gabriel. Don’t get caught up in surgery, I plan to be drunk by nine.”
“You got it.”
Gabriel turned and headed down the hallway towards the doctor’s lounge and Castiel turned to head back to the nurses’ station so he could pick up the rest of his patient charts and do his rounds.
Dean was standing a few feet away, glaring at Gabriel’s back.
Castiel frowned again, caught Dean’s eye and his frown deepened when Dean blushed, gave a little wave, and disappeared into Bobby’s room.
Castiel filed this new peculiarity away under one more thing he would need to figure out about Dean Winchester.
Man was a mystery.
As soon as his shift was over, Gabriel and Castiel left work and headed to the bar that was in Castiel’s neighborhood so Castiel could get as drunk as he wanted. And he wanted to get really drunk after the day he’d had.
Gabriel had been buying him round after round of strawberry daiquiris and some other god-awful fruity drink. It was free alcohol though, so Castiel didn’t turn them down. About an hour ago, those fruity drinks had turned into shots of tequila and Castiel was well on his way to abandoning complete and coherent thought for the night, which he was perfectly okay with.
“Why are we friends, Gabriel?” Castiel’s voice was slurred, partially from the alcohol and partially due to the fact that his cheek was smooshed against the table as he twirled his empty shot glass around, watching the lights play through the glass.
“Because I’m awesome?” Gabriel offered, snatching the empty shot glass from Castiel’s fingers and replacing it with a full one.
Castiel straightened, downed the shot and wiped something sticky from his cheek.
“Seriously.”
“I dunno why Cas, we just are.”
“Is it because of the candy? I think it’s because of the candy. I like you for your candy Gabe, and that’s it!”
Gabriel grinned at him; he’d stopped drinking the strong liquor a few hours ago and had stuck with beer. Castiel felt a little bad, but it was Gabriel’s own choice. Not like he would mind if his friend crashed on his couch. Or in Castiel’s own bed.
Castiel must have made a face at that thought because Gabriel chuckled, “What’s with that constipated look?”
“I just thought about us having sex. I may like you for your candy, Gabriel, but I don’t think I could have sex with you.”
Gabriel chuckled and reached over the table to pat Castiel’s hand, “That’s okay, bucko; I view you as a little brother more than anything. Don’t think I could have sex with my little brother.”
Castiel peered over at Gabriel, eyes wide, “You view me as a little brother?”
“Of course I do, you dolt. I thought we were both in agreement on that one.”
Castiel blinked, then grinned over at the doctor, “I’d hug you right now, but I think if I stood up I’d either vomit or face plant. Possibly both.”
Gabriel grinned, “Best you stay seated then.”
Two shots later and Castiel was blurting, “I don’t understand Dean.”
“The guy with the nurse phobia?”
Castiel waved his hand, “He’s not nursephobic, he was just worried about his brother. But yes that’s him.”
“What are you doing still talking to him?”
“I don’t know. I thought he hated me, but now he won’t stop texting me and asking me out for drinks. He made it painfully clear that he wasn’t gay! So why the fuck is he acting like he’s interested in me?!”
Gabriel chuckled and handed another shot of tequila over to Castiel, “Maybe he’s confused. You should introduce him to the wonders of gay sex.”
Castiel scowled down at the shot in his hand, “I don’t want to be someone’s experiment, Gabriel. That happened once before and it just ended up in heartbreak for me. I’m tired of dating asshats. I just want to be loved. Why won’t anyone love me?”
“You’re getting maudlin.”
“Oh fuck you.”
“Drink up kiddo. We’ll find your happily ever after.”
Castiel scowled again but downed the shot and the next one that was shoved into his hand, “There’s no such thing.”
The next morning Castiel woke in his own bed, naked and with a pounding in his head that could rival the crew of Stomp!. He hoped he was naked for all the right reasons, but the sight of Gabriel standing in the doorway eating Castiel’s cheesecake banished that hopeful thought.
“Morning sunshine,” Gabriel chirped, shoveling more cheesecake into his mouth.
“Die.”
“Your life would be very dull and not complete, if that were to happen.”
“Why am I naked?”
“No idea. I think you thought it was a good idea last night. You were probably right though, there’s just no saving clothes after they’ve been drunken vomited on.”
“Please stop talking about vomit,” Castiel groaned.
“There was also something about texting and Dean last night. You wouldn’t shut up about it, especially when you got naked and crawled into bed.” Another bit of Castiel’s cheesecake disappeared into Gabriel’s mouth.
Castiel attempted to aim a scowl in Gabriel’s direction, but his room was too bright and he was too intent on searching for his phone amongst his blanket and pillows. His phone found, he glared at Gabriel and thumbed his phone on, flipping to his messages, hoping and praying he hadn’t drunk texted Dean last night.
But there they were, several texts. Shit.
i’m naked
He did. He totally drunk texted Dean last night, “Fuck.”
Gabriel chuckled from the doorway, “You’ve got it bad dude.”
you should be here
“Fuck my life.”
Castiel knew he should just ignore the rest of the texts, but some sick sense of curiosity had him wondering what else he’d sent to Dean last night.
your cock would be a good fit for my ass right now
“Oh my God.”
“Sounds like a good time was had by all.” Gabriel chuckled again and Castiel had it in his mind to tackle the smug bastard, but he was naked and that probably would end badly for everyone involved.
did i mention i’m naked?
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
i look amazing naked or so i’ve been told
Castiel glared over at Gabriel again and asked, “Why didn’t you take my phone from me last night?”
“Thought you were passed out.” Castiel eyed Gabriel doubtfully; Gabriel had probably known full well that Castiel was awake, and was, in his own way, trying to help. Dean would probably never talk to Castiel again though, after he looked at his messages.
also been told i take it up the ass like a pro. The last text caused Castiel to toss his phone aside and pull a pillow over his head, wishing for death or something close to it.
“I’m never drinking again,” Castiel mumbled finally.
“S’what they all say.”
At least Dean hadn’t responded to any of those texts. Could mean Dean had been sleeping like a normal person would be at that time of night. Or maybe they hadn’t gone through, or Castiel had sent them to the wrong person.
Fuck, he’d drunk texted Dean Winchester. He’d never hear from him again and Sam would be warned off. He’d just royally fucked up his pathetic social life because of a few drinks. This is why Gabriel was dangerous; this was why Castiel should never have crushes on straight men.
He really couldn’t deal with this shit when his head was pounding like a damn mariachi band had set up camp in there. And certainly not when his stomach was rolling around and his mouth felt like something had died in there.
“Want some cheesecake?” Gabriel asked, plopping down on the bed beside Castiel. There was a meow in response to Castiel’s moan and he lifted the blanket enough for Lupe to crawl under it and move down to lay by his feet, purring contently.
“Seriously, die in a fire,” Castiel grumbled finally when he felt he wouldn’t puke next time he opened his mouth.
Gabriel chuckled again then bounded off the bed when someone knocked on Castiel’s front door.
“If it’s my sister… I died from alcohol poisoning and it’s all your fault!”
“Sure, Cas!”
Castiel rolled onto his stomach and dragged the pillows up over his head to block out the light coming in through the windows. He kicked the sheets down since said light was shining on him like a bitch and it was hot in his room. He vaguely listened for Gabriel and whoever had been at his door. When he didn’t hear anything he figured it had been a nosey neighbor making sure Castiel was still alive, since as drunk as he’d been last night he probably hadn’t been quiet.
“Hey, Cassie, you’ve got a guest.”
Castiel winced at the nickname and mumbled into his pillow, “Why haven’t you died yet?”
“Is that the way to speak to the guy who made sure you didn’t fall asleep face down in a puddle of your own puke?” Castiel groaned at that particular image and froze when he heard a very familiar chuckle. Dean was here.
Here in Castiel’s apartment, standing in Castiel’s bedroom when Castiel was naked and had the sheets rucked down around his waist and absolutely nothing else covering him. After Castiel had drunk texted him, basically telling Dean he’d have liked Dean to be there, fucking him. Dean was here.
Castiel was done with life. Over. Kaput. He could not show his face in public anymore, ever, not after this epic fuckfest. Castiel dragged the pillow from his head and cracked an eye open and turned to look at Dean over his shoulder. Gabriel was still munching on the cheesecake and Dean was staring. Like, really staring. It made Castiel shiver and resist the urge to roll over, kick the sheet off the rest of the way and throw his legs open in invitation.
He really turned into a whore when he went long periods without sex apparently.
This was not good for his pathetic social life.
Castiel cleared his throat, ignored the smirk Gabriel was shooting him and muttered, “Morning?”
“Afternoon,” Dean corrected. Castiel shrugged, rolled over and sat up, making sure the sheet remained firmly in place.
“I’ll leave you two to it.” Gabriel grinned and turned to disappear to wherever.
“Don’t eat all my cheesecake you asshat!” Castiel shouted after him. Gabriel simply laughed and nothing more was said.
“So…” Dean shifted and Castiel hoped the blush burning over his cheeks wasn’t visible.
Castiel cleared his throat again, “You mind giving me a minute? I’m kinda… naked?”
Dean snorted and Castiel caught sight of a blush tinting Dean’s cheeks pink as he looked away from Castiel and rubbed the back of his neck, “So you mentioned.”
Castiel shifted uncomfortably, coughed, “Yeah… uh. Awkward. I’d like to get dressed so… can you gimmie a minute?”
Dean flushed again, eyes skirting over Castiel’s chest and Castiel fought that urge to be a complete slut again, then Dean was turning and exiting the room. Castiel sighed and flopped back into his bed, Lupe wiggled out from under the blankets, annoyed at all the moving around going on.
She gave Castiel a baleful glare; he glared back and snapped, “Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.” Lupe meowed at him in a disappointing manner and leapt off the bed and left the room in an indignant huff.
Cats.
By the time Castiel felt remotely human enough to show his face; Gabriel had eaten all his cheesecake and vacated the premises. A smart move on his part as Castiel would have hit him for finishing the cheesecake Castiel himself had been looking forward to eating.
Castiel scowled at the empty box resting on his kitchen counter, and went about making himself a cup of coffee and feeding Lupe before she ended up killing him by tripping him.
“That cat is a menace,” Dean said from the kitchen doorway, watching as Castiel sidestepped her again.
“I wouldn’t have her any other way.” Castiel muttered, bending and picking up the black ball of fluff. She meowed, annoyed about being manhandled, but settled and calmed when he cradled her like she was an infant. She began purring when he rubbed her exposed belly and her yellow eyes half-closed.
Dean chuckled and moved to stand in front of Castiel, reaching out to pet the cat’s head while Castiel muttered, “I found her abandoned in an alleyway. She was severely malnourished and dehydrated-pretty much just skin and bones. I took her to a vet since she was only about four weeks old; they told me she wouldn’t make it through the night and would do their best to make her comfortable.”
Dean snorted and Castiel nodded, running his fingers through Lupe’s long fur.
“It kind of annoyed me that they weren’t going to try. They just assumed she was going to die. So I brought her home, ‘borrowed’ some supplies from the hospital and nursed her back to health myself.”
Dean smiled, fingers scratching through the shorter fur on the cat’s head, “That’s pretty awesome of you.”
“Everyone and everything deserves a chance to fight,” Castiel muttered, patting Lupe on the butt before dropping her back to the ground. She glared up at him but did her weird mrumpf sound when he placed her bowl of food onto the floor.
Dean stepped towards the coffee machine, which had stopped its burbling, and found two cups to pour the coffee into. Castiel watched him for a moment before finally asking, “So… why are you here?”
“Um… saw your texts from last night.” Castiel coughed, grabbed his cup of coffee and turned away from Dean, hoping to hide the reddening of his face.
“Sam somehow convinced me to come and talk to you about it. I didn’t think there was anything to talk about.”
Castiel coughed again, sipped his coffee and muttered, “Right.”
“There’s nothing to talk about… right?” Castiel looked over his shoulder at Dean who was giving him a contemplative look. Castiel just wanted to blurt everything out: how much he actually liked Dean, how he wanted to date and fuck and live together and get a puppy. Castiel hadn’t had feelings like that for a very long time and Dean was just bringing them all out of him. It was dangerous, especially since Dean probably didn’t feel like that. How could he? He was straight for crying out loud.
“Absolutely nothing,” Castiel mumbled instead, “I was… spectacularly drunk last night.”
“Figured.” Dean fidgeted a little, cleared his throat and asked, “Want to go out and get some breakfast then?”
“Don’t you mean lunch?”
“Denny’s dude. Best cure for a hangover.”
Castiel knew he shouldn’t. Should spare himself the inevitable heartbreak that would come from liking Dean in this way. Dean would one day find a nice woman and marry her and Castiel would just be… something. A friend maybe, Castiel didn’t know. He’d be the man on the sidelines wishing he could have what he couldn’t, that’s what.
He knew he shouldn’t, but he smiled and nodded, “Sounds good.”
Castiel tried to ignore Jess’ staring and continue working on entering patient information into the computer.
Finally he’d had enough. He spun his chair around and gripped the arms of Jess’ making sure to keep her facing him, “Okay, what Jess?”
“Sam told me you and Dean went on a date the other day.”
Castiel sighed and released her chair, “It wasn’t a date.”
“Sounded like one. He took you out for lunch, paid for it, and you two sat around talking for a few hours.”
Well, put like that.
“It wasn’t a date. I was hungover. He was… feeding me.”
“What, are you his dog now?”
Castiel glared at Jess’ smile, “Don’t you have patients that need tending Jessica?”
“It’s two in the morning; no patients are awake.” Castiel sighed, then grinned when one of the patients hit the call button.
“Mr. Singer needs some attention.”
Jess’ eyes widened, “No way! Mr. Singer hates everyone! Plus he’s your patient!”
Castiel pointed his pen at her, grinning, “I’m charge nurse tonight. You have to do what I say, if I switch the patients around then tough shit. Now go see what he needs.”
“But you’re always charge nurse.” Jess was practically whining now. Castiel couldn’t help but grin.
“Then you take that up with Ellen. Personally, I’d like a break from being charge, but Ellen has decided it’s me or Anna, and Anna and I have been put on different schedules.”
Jess sighed then reluctantly pulled herself up from the chair and slowly made her way down the hall towards Bobby’s room. Castiel’s grin vanished when Ruby took up Jess’ seat and asked, “So, you gotten laid yet Novak? Heard you had a new boy toy.”
Castiel shot out of his chair, “Jess, I’ll do it. You chart.” Jess grinned and returned to the nurses’ station while Castiel continued down to Bobby’s room. He’d have to think of a way to get back at Jess and her big mouth. He didn’t need it circulating around the floor that Castiel had finally gotten himself a new boyfriend. Especially to Becky and Chuck’s ears. He’d never hear the end of it then.
He stepped into Bobby’s room and the first thing the other man had to say was, “Since you’re dating Dean now, does that mean I have to be nice to you? Or will you go crying to your boyfriend?”
Castiel smacked his hand to his forehead. He was going to kill both Sam and Jess for their big mouths.
After the breakfast, or lunch, he’d had with Dean, they’d agreed to do it at least once a week. According to Dean he didn’t have many friends, and going out to lunch was something friends did right? Castiel agreed to it because he liked seeing someone that he also didn’t see at work. Plus there was that little part of him that liked to suffer and pine after Dean at every available chance.
Sometimes Castiel just wondered if he liked punishing himself. He’d just gotten off work and had agreed to meet Dean for their breakfast/lunch whatever. This time though, Rachel had insisted on joining them, at eight months pregnant Castiel couldn’t find it in himself to deny her anything. Especially when he’d been extraordinarily busy at work the night before and all he wanted to do was go to bed and sleep for a year.
“So, where is this dream man of yours?” Rachel muttered, glaring at her orange juice.
Castiel eyed her, ignored her jab, “What did the orange juice ever do to you?”
“It’s not coffee, that’s what it’s done to me.”
“You know you’re not allowed coffee.” Castiel mumbled, pulling his own cup of coffee closer in case she tried to steal it from him. Most family members were smart enough to know not to steal Castiel’s coffee unless you wanted some serious hurt brought down on your head. Raphael had learned that lesson the hard way-not that Castiel was complaining. Throwing a cup of scalding hot coffee all over his elder brother’s lap was one of his fonder memories of home.
Rachel, though, with her pregnancy hormones swinging everywhere, would probably find it okay to steal Castiel’s coffee, punishment be damned.
Rachel snorted at Castiel’s defensive posturing before sipping her orange juice and looking around the diner, “You didn’t answer my question.”
“I look like a freakin’ GPS device to you? I don’t know where he is.”
Rachel huffed, sipped her juice again and calmly asked, “So when are you going to ask him out?”
Castiel choked on his coffee then glared over at his sister, “Never? He’s straight.”
“Doubt it.”
“Rachel...”
“Seriously, it’s like he’s been dating you these last couple months. He’s always texting you, always asking you to go out with him and now you two have started up this weekly brunch thing. The guy is totally into you, Cas.”
Castiel sighed, rolled his eyes up to the ceiling and asked for the continued patience to deal with his sister, “Seriously, Rachel. The man is straight and set in his ways.”
“You ever gonna try? Give him a chance?”
“I’m not going to be someone’s experiment. Surely you remember how that ended up for me last time?”
Rachel sighed then rolled her eyes at him when Castiel perked up like a Labrador when he spotted Dean coming into the diner. Castiel honestly didn’t know what it was about Dean that brought all these annoying feelings to the surface; feelings Castiel had worked hard to keep buried and hidden amongst his one-night stands and flings. Feelings that left him open and vulnerable to the pain of being left behind and heartbroken. Dean made him want to have something more again, and wasn’t that just the kicker.
“You’re so smitten.” Rachel muttered, smiling at Dean as he slid into the booth across from them. They had met briefly when they’d all gone to the beach those months ago, but Dean had been stuck in the backseat listening to Becky talk about gay sex instead of being introduced to Castiel’s younger sister. Rachel, for some reason, had insisted on joining the two of them; Castiel just hoped she didn’t launch into her ‘I love my big brother very much and if you hurt him I’ll rip you to shreds’ speech.
He’d heard it enough times and there had yet to be any shredding taking place.
“Sorry I’m late. Sammy was being a bitch.”
Castiel smiled at him and pushed an empty coffee cup towards him, “No problem. Uh, not sure if you remember, but this is my little sister Rachel. She wanted to come along today.”
“Yeah I remember. You look ready to pop now, though.” Dean smiled at her and shook her hand when Rachel held it out.
Rachel gave him the stink eye for a moment before smiling, “Yeah, eight months. I’m ready to have this damn kid already.”
Dean snorted. Castiel elbowed her in the side and they all ordered their breakfasts when the waitress finally approached their table. They fell into a comfortable silence, Castiel and Dean making up their coffee how they liked it (Dean: cream with no sugar; while Castiel “destroyed his with cream and sugar,” according to Dean anyway).
“So, you’re the guy making Cassie go all a flutter, huh?” Rachel blurted, watching with raised eyebrows as Dean handed Castiel the amount of sugar packets Castiel liked to pour into his coffee.
Castiel felt himself blush, then he glared over at Rachel and elbowed her side again, “Ignore Rachel, the baby seems to have destroyed all higher brain function.”
“At least I’ve been-”
“Complete that sentence at your own peril,” Castiel growled, glaring again. Rachel smiled sweetly and they all turned their attention to the food when it was brought over.
“So, how was work Cas?” Dean asked finally, mouth full of scrambled eggs.
“Busy. We were short staffed and one of my patients kept coding.”
“Damn, that sucks.”
Castiel grunted his agreement and shoveled more pancakes into his mouth since he was just as hungry as he was exhausted. It took him a moment to remember he hadn’t eaten since before he’d gone into work last night. He’d been too busy to take his dinner break the night before; something that was frowned upon, but not something he could help. He’d barely had time to pee, for crying out loud.
Castiel fended Rachel off when she attempted to steal his hash browns and Dean asked, “Everything okay with that patient?”
“They were stable when I left this morning. I’ll find out more tomorrow night when I go back.”
“Cassie is awesome at his job; he wouldn’t let anything happen to them!” Castiel rolled his eyes at Rachel, slapped her hand away when it tried to steal his hash browns again and tried to keep his blush from spreading when he caught sight of Dean grinning at him from across the table.
Rachel chuckled, kissed Castiel’s cheek, “Well, I’m out of here. Leave you two to it. I’ll come by later Cas.”
Castiel eyed her suspiciously before nodding, “I’ll probably be sleeping, so either be quiet when you invade my bed or just don’t bother me until I wake from natural causes.” Rachel grinned at him, kissed his cheek again and hauled herself out of the booth and waddled out of the diner.
“Well she’s subtle,” Dean muttered, the two of them watching as she paused by the window they were sitting at to wink before heading off again. Castiel turned his glare over at Dean who grinned innocently over at him.
They fell into silence after that, sipping their coffee and pushing the remains of their breakfasts on their plates. Despite how tired Castiel was, he didn’t really want to leave Dean’s company. He always enjoyed being around Dean, even if they sometimes bickered and fought over the stupidest shit.
“How did you know you were gay?” Dean blurted out suddenly. Castiel blinked, coffee cup frozen halfway to his mouth.
“Um, what?”
“How did you know you were gay?”
Castiel sighed, took a sip of coffee and lowered the cup back to the table, “I don’t see myself as gay. Don’t see myself as anything really. I like who I like, regardless of gender.”
Dean hummed, brow furrowed in concentration.
Castiel eyed him for a moment before saying, “When I was younger I was strictly into girls. Didn’t even look or think about guys like that. Then came along Nick, and suddenly I was looking at this guy and feeling attracted to him and only him. No other guys really did it for me. I kind of figured it out from there. I like who I like. Not because of what’s on the outside, but what’s on the inside. Labels don’t really mean anything to me. I think they’re ridiculous.”
“That’s a good philosophy.” Dean muttered, eyes focused on Castiel before he turned his attention elsewhere.
“I like to think so. Meet a lot of interesting people that way.”
“I bet.” Castiel looked back to Dean, something in the tone of his voice that Castiel couldn’t put a name to and found Dean staring. Very intently.
“What?”
“I... think... I kind of like you.”
Castiel’s heart stuttered in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to throw himself across the table and kiss Dean breathless, instead he simply said, “Oh.”
“And it’s just you,” Dean carried on, acting like he hadn’t heard Castiel. “I’ve looked at other guys, thinking maybe this is something I missed when I was growing up, but it’s only you that gets to me.”
“I see.”
“So, I don’t know. I feel like an idiot. Like we’re back in elementary school or some shit. Check yes or no if you like me. I like girls and you clearly aren’t a girl.”
Castiel didn’t really know what to say. “Clearly.”
Dean nodded, cleared his throat and looked out the window, “Well there you go. Now you know.”
Castiel nodded, sighed, and muttered, “Well, I like you too, Dean. So you know.” Castiel looked away, feeling his face turning a brilliant red.
“Oh yeah?” And God did Dean sound ten kinds of hopeful. Castiel kept his gaze down, not wanting to look up because if he got caught in that hopeful look there was no stopping what Castiel would do. He’d probably crawl under the table and blow Dean in thanks.
“Yes, but like you said Dean, you like women. Obviously, I’m not a woman. That might prove to be a problem.”
“Well...” Dean hesitated and Castiel finally looked up to see Dean fidgeting with his coffee cup, gaze firmly on the cooling liquid held within, “I’d be willing to try something,” Castiel jerked, nearly knocking his own coffee cup off the table in his shock. That had been the last thing he’d been expecting to hear from Dean, “Maybe... fuck I feel like such a girl talking about this.”
Castiel wanted nothing more than to say yes, to just dive right in and give this a shot like he knew he should. The small part inside of him, though, that had been burned repeatedly, that was screaming at him that he’d already taken too many chances, suffered enough heartbreak made him say, “I don’t know Dean. I’ve been in this kind of situation before and it didn’t exactly work out for me. So you need to be sure. Like, really, really sure that this is something you want to do.”
Dean stared at him, sucked on his bottom lip before asking, “So how do I prove it to you?”
Castiel blinked, it felt like his heart was in his throat and his stomach was in his feet. How was he even supposed to respond to that?
“I…”
“Cas?”
Castiel slowly stood from the table, hesitated then muttered, “I should go.”
“What? Wait…”
“I can’t…”
He turned and headed for the door, ignoring Dean’s confused protests. Castiel was in his car and heading for home before he realized what had happened. He had panicked and fled. Part of him was regretting the decision while the other told him he’d done the right thing. The look on Dean’s face, however…
If he had done the right thing, why did he feel so wrong?
Castiel tried not to fidget under Sam Winchester’s stare. He knew accepting Sam’s request for coffee had been a bad idea, especially after how Castiel had left Dean in the diner the week before.
Sam calmly stirred his coffee, never removing his gaze from Castiel. It made Castiel want to squirm in his seat, it brought back memories of his father and Michael staring at him in the same way when he’d announced his intentions to go to nursing school instead.
“I know Dean doesn’t seem like the best guy. He drinks too much, he sleeps around too much and is allergic to feelings. But he is a good guy.”
“I know he is, Sam.”
“He’s loyal. Once he makes up his mind on something, when he wants something bad enough, he won’t stop. He’d never let you go, Cas.”
Castiel swallowed and stared miserably into his own coffee. He knew he shouldn’t have run off like he had, but he’d panicked. Was still panicking. He wanted Dean, had wanted him for a long time, and now that it was a possibility he was scared.
“I just... panicked it all. I was, I am scared.”
“You’re not the only one. You think after only wanting women for his whole life and suddenly wanting a man is easy for Dean? He took a chance and you kind of threw it back in his face. Despite that, he is willing to give you another shot. You just have to man up enough to go for it.”
Castiel sighed and stared miserably up at Sam. Sam smiled, reached across the table and patted Cas’ hand, “I like you Cas. You’re a good friend now and I think you’d be good for Dean. So go home, get some rest and go after him. I know you want to.”
Castiel gave Sam a weak smile, “Thanks, Sam.”
“Like I said, you’re a good friend. You hurt my brother again, though, and I will murder you.”
Castiel nodded and Sam stood, gave Cas a pat on the shoulder and walked off down the street. Castiel sighed and swallowed down the last of his now cold coffee and headed home.
He had some thinking to do.
After fleeing from the diner like a coward, after his talk with Sam, after having thrown himself in his job for the last week, Castiel was sprawled on his couch, a large bag of peanut M&M’s resting on his stomach. He had no idea what to do with himself, he’d ignored the texts from Dean and the calls from his sister, Lupe was even giving him unimpressed looks. Castiel knew he should just get over himself, go to Dean and tell him, yes, he wanted to try. He wanted to be everything Dean needed, wanted to prove to himself and to Dean that neither of them had to hurt again to be happy.
The fact that Dean was actually willing to try, was willing to prove it to Castiel that he was in this, should have been answer enough for Castiel. Running out on someone he knows has commitment issues probably wasn’t his brightest idea. He’d probably fucked over his chance with Dean with that brilliant little move.
He was scared, though; emotions that had been tamped down and ignored for years were back and raring to go. Castiel didn’t know what to do with himself.
Which was why he was sprawled out on his couch eating junk food when he should have been sleeping.
“Fuck my life.”
He really shouldn’t have left. Should have given Dean the chance, should have taken the risk. Castiel’s life was turning out to be one giant ‘should have’ and he’d most likely ruined his one chance to have something.
The front door to his apartment opened and Gabriel slipped through, shutting and locking the door before moving to stand in front of Castiel.
“I should kill you for eating my cheesecake.”
Gabriel ignored him, snagged some M&Ms from the bag still sitting on Castiel’s stomach, “Your sister called me.”
“Good for her.”
“Figured you and Winchester would be fucking like bunnies by now.”
Castiel sighed, shoved the bag off his stomach and sat up, “I fucked it up Gabe.”
“It can be fixed.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“How do you know?”
“Because Winchester is sitting out in the parking lot as we speak, looking like he’s been trying to gather his courage for a while now.” Castiel blinked up at Gabriel who smirked and nodded.
Castiel sighed, stood and shoved his shoes back onto his feet and headed for the parking lot, not caring that he was still dressed in his wrinkled and dirty scrubs. If Dean was here, Castiel could at least meet him halfway.
Sure enough, Dean was sitting in the Impala, parked next to Castiel’s Audi. His hands were clenched around the steering wheel and his eyes were closed so he didn’t see Castiel approaching. Which was all and well, since Castiel took a small amount of joy in seeing Dean jump several inches when Castiel let himself into the passenger seat.
“Cas-“
Castiel held up a hand, cutting Dean off. He settled himself into the seat, sighed and muttered, “I shouldn’t have bolted off like that, or ignored you. I’m sorry. You’re probably as freaked out as I am.”
Dean snorted and nodded.
“I, uh… I’ve been thinking that uh, well…” Castiel sighed and ran a hand through his hair, tugging a little to try and bring his thoughts to order.
“I told you awhile back that everyone and everything deserves a fighting chance. It was selfish of me to not give you that chance. If you’re still willing to try Dean, I am too. I don’t want to live a life of should haves and wondering what could have been.”
Castiel folded his hands into his lap and closed his eyes, waiting to either be kicked out or… or something. He didn’t know.
He jumped when he felt Dean take hold of one of his hands and looked over at Dean, smiling a little when Dean squeezed his hand.
“Thanks Cas, for giving me a chance. Not many people do.”
Castiel returned the squeeze, smiled and whispered, “You definitely deserve it.”
Epilogue
Castiel stared down at the bundle in his arms; he’d been a little wary to how he would react when Rachel finally gave birth, but right now Balthazar and everything connected to him was forgotten. He was an uncle, he would forgive anything right now, and he already had.
He’d still kick Balthazar’s ass for good measure though, if he ever saw him again.
“I’m never going to get him back am I?” Rachel asked quietly, grinning despite the fact that she may never see her son again.
Castiel grinned again and shook his head, “Nope, there will be reports of a baby napping later, I assure you. I have access to the nursery, too… just you wait.” He didn’t care how ridiculous he looked standing there in his sister’s hospital room, holding his nephew and cooing down at him with the biggest, dorkiest smile on his face.
“Hand him back, Cas.”
“No.”
“Cas.”
“He’s my namesake; I’m allowed to hold him for however long I want to.” Castiel grumbled, tucking the blue blanket in around the small body.
“He’s not your namesake.”
“Totally my namesake. My middle name is James, you named him James. So fuck off, he’s my namesake.”
Rachel rolled her eyes and Dean approached, settling a hand on Castiel’s shoulder, “Don’t you have to go back to work?”
Castiel sighed, nodded and very reluctantly handed his nephew back to his sister. He’d been running back and forth from the Med/Surg floor to the Labor and Delivery floor ever since Rachel had called to tell him she’d gone into labor.
Safe to say, Castiel had been driving everyone insane.
Sam and Jess had stopped by earlier to offer up their congratulations before leaving again. There’d been a steady stream of nurses and doctors in to see Castiel’s new nephew as well. Castiel almost felt like a proud father, which was maybe a little awkward; not that he cared.
Dean squeezed his shoulder then muttered, “Don’t tell me you’re going to want one of your own now.”
Castiel snorted, “God no. I barely have time to feed Lupe. I will settle for babysitting as often as possible, though.”
“Cas, I think Jimmy and I here will become a permanent fixture in your apartment, have no doubt.” Rachel muttered, yawning mightily as Jimmy was taken from her and wheeled out to be placed with the other babies.
Castiel smiled and stepped forward to kiss Rachel’s forehead, “You know you’re welcome there whenever you need to. You should get some rest though, and I really do need to get back to work before Ellen decides to skin me alive.”
Rachel smiled sleepily up at him, “Thanks for forgiving me Cas. Don’t think I’d be able to do this without you.”
“You’re my sister, of course I forgive you. Get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” Rachel nodded and promptly drifted off to sleep. Castiel smiled, tucked the blankets in around her before joining Dean out in the hallway.
“So uncle, huh?”
“It would seem so.” Castiel looped his arm through Dean’s and they headed for the elevators at the end of the hallway so Castiel could get back to work and Dean could head back to his own apartment.
“So, I’ve been thinking.” Dean said as they waited.
“I hope you didn’t strain anything.”
“Oh, fuck you. You want to hear it or not?” Castiel waved his free hand, indicating Dean carry on.
“Anyway, I’ve been thinking. Sam is moving in with Jess, now that he’s done with law school, and my lease is almost up.”
Castiel had a faint idea as to where this was going, “Uh-huh.”
“And, uh, I know we’ve only been officially dating for like a month and a half, but we’ve known each other for longer than that.”
“Yes.”
“So, I was wondering if... well, I spend most of my free time over at your place anyway, so…” Dean sighed and trailed off as the elevator doors dinged open.
Castiel tugged him back as he took a step forward though and whispered, “I’d love for you to move in with me Dean.”
Dean grinned at him, eyes bright and hopeful, “Yeah?”
Castiel swallowed his own fears, his own insecurities and returned the grin, “Yeah.”
Dean stared at him for a brief moment before smirking and leaning forward to whisper in Castiel’s ear, “You know… there’s a supply closet down the hall.”
“This isn’t that medical show you’re addicted to, Dean.” Castiel mumbled, leaning into Dean’s warmth, his own smirk in place.
“Firstly, I’m not addicted to it; sometimes it’s just the only thing on. Secondly… you look really hot in your scrubs?”
Castiel snorted, grabbed Dean’s hand and tugged him down the hallway, “I can maybe squeeze out another fifteen minutes before I have to go back, so you’ll have to be quick.”
Dean smirked, shoving Castiel in through the open supply closet door, “Think I can work with that.”