have i actually spent these past years lying to myself? have i convinced myself that god won't help me? i think i have. i think, well actually i know. i have lost my faith. i have lost my heart. i have even lost my mind. i don't have anything anymore. it's just me, being 23 and sleeping on a couch in my old room at my parents house. someone told me ( Read more... )

well today i'm in a chipper mood (note the sarcasm). woke up before the sun peeked out of the shadows. my brain was still in a fog. it's been that way for a couple of weeks. i've just been in this deep thought process. i think about a lot of things. i don't know, i guess it's why i don't talk that much. those of you that know me know i'm pretty ( Read more... )

looking back on the year that past, i've decided to give up. i'm done fighting for things that won't happen. i'll see you all around sometime....

later.

first of all, i don't care. i don't care that 2005 sucked so much. i learned a shit load of information that will help me for the rest of my life. i learned not to fall in love so damn fast. i learned to stop trying to find love and just let life play out as it may. i'll be much happier with myself if i just calm the fuck down, get some shit ( Read more... )

ok, i don't know who reads this, if anyone. but a couple of months ago someone popped back in my life. the problem was, i was too fucked up to admit how i really felt. i was afraid of getting hurt. she swore she was different...i wish i took the time to find out. maybe she was. well, since i was too fucked up the last time she called me, i said ( Read more... )

sometimes i just want to pull the trigger...

i don't know. i think that i think too fucking much. especially lately. things are kind of fucked up right now. it sucks because it's my own damn fault. in fact this entire year has been the most fucked up year of my fucked up life. well, at least the most fucked up since i turned 17. that's when i lost my faith. my faith in god, my faith in my ( Read more... )

it's been almost two months, and i still want to go back. who knows, i just might. i would have been graduating in 4 days.

i miss the U.S.M.C.

Semper Fi

Fallen man is not simply an imperfect creature who needs improvement. He is a rebel who must lay down his arms. Laying down your arms, surrendering, saying you are sorry, realizing that you have been on the wrong track and getting ready to start life over again from the ground floor - that is the only way out of a hole. This process of surrender - ( Read more... )

Life it seems, will fade away ( Read more... )