2x04 Duet, continued
[Note: For the first part of this recap, go here: ( Duet (Part 1) )]
Gym o' Rough and Kinky. Teyla, in her new alien hoochie lack-of-clothing, twirls her sticks around. Suddenly, she pounces and we see her sparring with Ronon. They're pretty evenly matched -- sweaty sheen, clothes, and skills. There's a lot of grunting and stuff, which is of the good. With the high probability of Teyla's boobs popping out of her non-shirt, this could very well lead to a really hot sex scene. Er, nevermind the two guards sitting in the corner, watching said sexage going on. Sadly, Sheppard interrupts them (wow, his genes are supa-strong if the doors open before he's even anywhere near them). Poor Sheppard is a bit confused, unhappy, and pouty: "I thought we were supposed to be sparring today." Teyla accuses him of being late and spending too much time sexing Lizzie instead making his appointments on time. Meanwhile, Ronon takes advantage of Teyla's distraction and knocks her sticks out of her hands while grabbing her by the throat and throwing her to the ground, pounding his chest and declaring, "Me, Ronon. You, MINE. *grunt grunt grunt*" Or, at least that's what his body language is screaming. *nods knowingly*
Seeing this aggressive display of manliness immediately puts Shep on edge because he thought he was supposed to be the alpha male on 'lantis. Oh, and there's probably something about how he hates seeing any of his team members getting hurt unnecessarily. With a quick sweep of his arm, he brings his own stick up to Ronon's neck. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Ronon's all pissed that his primal booty call is not going to happen and assures Shep that he "wouldn't have hurt her." Shep, however, is not convinced: "It sure as hell looked like you were going to." Oh, Shep, Shep, Shep. You obviously missed the hot eyefucking between the two aliens or else you would have known Ronon wasn't going to make her scream that way. He asks if she's okay and she stops herself from telling him to stop interrupting her makeout sessions with Ronon and settles for reassuring him that she's fine. Ronon glowers and stalks out of the room. Teyla's hand goes up to her chest, obviously disappointed that she won't be getting any tonight, and informs Shep that she "told [Ronon] that he did not have to go easy on me." Ah, Teyla likes it rough. Thought so. Shep doesn't get the innuendo and warns her to "be careful what you say to this guy." I don't know, Shep. There really aren't that many ways to misinterpret: "Do me. Do me now." But Teyla can't very well tell him that, so she just gives him a "I just wanted to get laid, DAMN YOU!" look. No wonder she's so frustrated and exasperated with Shep who, in all fairness, really thinks he's looking out for her best interests.
Cadman's quarters, which for some reason, has an exercise ball and a stationary bike. Wtf? They really brought a lot of stuff over on the Daedalus, didn't they? We enter mid-conversation with Cadman asking McKay if he'd rather "go it alone." McKay readily confirms this: "Oh, yes. Imagine that. I'd rather go it alone." Ha. I'm not quite sure what they're talking about, but it sounds dirty so sign me up. Oh. *disappointed* Apparently, they're only talking about his date with Dr. Katie Brown. Cadman wheedles, "Well, consider the opportunity, right? To have a woman there, helping you out, feeding you lines... I really think you could learn something." McKay doesn't seem amused by this plan. "Thank you for the offer, Cyrano, but I think I'll pass." But Cadman, being the strong independent woman that she is, decides she's going to help anyway and that's that. "I can make this a living hell for you, Rodney. This is something I want to do, and we're doing it." Hee.
Teyla's love nest. Hmm, let's see... Curtains drawn? Check. Candles? Check. Silk sheets? Check! Skimpy clothing and seductive pose? Check and check. The doors to Teyla's quarters slide open (wtf, doesn't anyone knock anymore?) and we get a glimpse of Ronon's entire body blocking the opening, like he's about to rush in and jump her. Teyla's obviously been waiting for her sex-god to show up because there's no other reason for her to be doing splits on the bed (wtf) except as a silent scream of "look what I can do in bed! Don't you want some of this? Oh, I know you do." Only, you know, without the contractions. At the sound of his voice, she looks up, touches her hair and invites him in. Dude. Teyla doesn't even close her legs, and a billion moms on Earth moan over this overt display of skankiness.
Ronon: "I wanted to apologize."
Teyla: "Do not worry, Ronon. It was... (*touches her own boob*) impressive."
Oooooooooh. DIRTY. Wait, did Ronon drop his pants during the pre-fight, because how else would Teyla know that... Oh, nevermind. She meant his stick ski11z. Er, fighting skills. (Yes, I'm five.) Ronon and his belly button sit down in the chair by Teyla's bed. Dude. Her legs? Are still spread open. There's some back and forth between the two, but honestly? I'm not listening because they've taken a page out of the Sheppard/Weir book on 'How to Orgasm Through Eyefuckage' and are practicing studiously, as all aliens are inclined to do when introduced to new Earth customs. They've actually grasped the concept pretty quickly. John and Elizabeth would be proud. Of course, eyefucking can include banter, so Teyla says something about her people and blahblahblah. I think it was in response to Ronon's question as to why she stayed on Atlantis, but he doesn't seem to care about the actual answer because he's all eyefuck, eyefuck, eyefuck. And she's all boob-touching, eyefuck, boob-touching. Hey, is the door still open? Wait, does it really matter? Like these two are going to care that two guards are watching. And... then they dun kinky exhibitionist sex. *fans self from the overwhelming hotness*
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Katie's love abode. It's now a double date (sort of). Carson apologizes profusely for butting in on the Katie/Rodney date, but Katie doesn't seem to mind. I have no clue what's wrong with her. I also have no clue what's wrong with Carson, who should have suffered any bitching and moaning Rodney would have dealt him by 'accidentally' forgetting to show up. Rodney comes in, looking pretty damn hot in his date clothes, and is surprised and upset to find Carson there. Poor Carson doesn't know what to do since Rodney invited him. Katie solves the confusion by telling everyone to sit down to dinner. Why is it that everyone's got a bed and a desk in their quarters, but Katie's got a whole freaking apartment? Oh, wait... there's her bed... complete with sheer curtains and... omg, it was totally made specifically for SMUT! Wow, it's always the cute quiet ones, huh? ["It's the red hair, dude." -- Little Red] Anyway, McKay sits down and starts eating, but Cadman interrupts him to suggest a toast. Katie looks absolutely smitten and Carson is mortified. Run, Carson, RUN! As expected, McKay adorably fumbles his words: "I toast. To you. We've been working together for some time now, a short time, but uh... In that time, I've... often found our interchanges very, uh... Ah, what I mean to say is that, um, you're very funny and smart and, uh... and from what I can tell, you make a delicious salad. So... to you." And Katie all but melts under such geeky cuteness. Awww, they're so damn cute together! *squishes them together and directs them to the Bed of Sin*
This date is so incredibly tense and awkward, even I'm cringing. But McKay has the right idea, practically inhaling his glass of wine (omg, WINE! They have alcohol on the show now! *gets John and Lizzie drunk as skunks*). I wish I had some liquor right now, actually. This recap would probably get written a lot faster, not to mention be a lot funnier, too. With no more liquor available, McKay lapses into complete silence. Katie keeps eating. Carson tries to look everywhere BUT at either one of them. Really, Carson, run. And while you're at it, get me a drink... no, a bottle... no, a kegger. Thanks. Anyway, AGAIN... this whole disembodied voice/two-characters-in-one is a real bitch to recap and lacking an IV drip of alcohol, let me just sum up: McKay fails Basic Conversation 101; Katie has fallen so hard for him she doesn't care that he can no longer string more than two words together; Carson exhibits signs of deer-caught-in-headlights paralysis. Then Cadman decides to take over before McKay totally ruins everything: "I don't want you to be insulted or to wonder whether or not I'm interested. Because I am. I am very. Very. Interested." And then he/she dips Katie and gives her massive amounts of tongue. Katie: *swoons* Carson: *blinks* Then in a move that neither Katie nor Carson question, McKay-Cadman puts an affectionate hand on Carson's cheek and gives him a lustful look. Pooh: *dies laughing*
Random hallway of multiple personalities. In what is probably the funniest scene in the episode -- maybe EVER -- McKay and Cadman have an argument, complete with voice changes and corresponding body motions. It's a tour de force performance by David Hewlett, but it's a BITCH to recap. So I won't. There isn't enough alcohol and recreational drugs in the world that'll get me to write all of this out. Therefore, I give you highlights: McKay-Cadman playing rock-paper-scissors, Cadman slapping McKay, and lots and lots of hilarity. Everyone? Drink.
Hangar... again. There's mice! Eeeee! John makes a cute face as the mice are placed in front of him. Elizabeth is in her usual spot, or in other words, anywhere within a one-foot radius around John. Zelenka sets up the experiment for McKay. There's something about the generator running on a buffer loop in order to trick the machine into not overloading. Yeah, it's a real crappy paraphrase, but both McKay and I are impatient to get this test over with. Please note: John and Elizabeth are now standing side-by-side. *squee* Zelenka fires up the machine and it cheesy-beams up the two mice (now with cheesy 70s sci-fi sound effects!). Because Joe Flanigan hasn't had much experience with sci-fi acting (as he loves repeating in his interviews *pets and snuggles him*), he provides us with a literal interpretation of the stage directions 'act really awed and wow'ed by the fake beaming thingamabob effect.' Hee. *pinches his cheeks, omg* It's all sorts of adorable that after all he's seen, Shep can still get a bit freaked by something as simple as dematerializing lab mice. Everyone else doesn't seem fazed and waits for Zelenka to rematerialize the mice. And... OMGWTFBBQMICE?! Based on everyone's expression, I'm thinking that's a big oopsie! Shep smarts off: "Now I'm no scientist, but those mice used to be a different color." Ah, Shep. Master of the obvious. Poor McKay concludes that he's "going to be stuck like this. Forever." Rodney and Radek share a "look" because they know that as long as Cadman is in his body, there will be no extracurricular activities of any kind. Ah, but this is TV, Rodney! All solutions may be found within the hour. Unless it's a multi-parter, which lucky for you, this isn't.
Control room of 'So Doing It.' "John." "Elizabeth." Pooh: *melts under the telepathic sex had through the use of first names* Oh, right. There's an actual conversation occurring... Elizabeth starts off by telling John that she doesn't think whatever his newest hare-brained scheme is a good idea. John follows her (because they're bonded by an invisible string), insisting that Elizabeth needs to see Ronon in action and that they need him on Atlantis because he's HOT an awesome fighter. Lizzie is skeptical because Ronon is an ALIEN, omg. Elizabeth pointedly reminds him that "we don't know anything about him." And John responds with a "What's there to know? He's such a cute little puppy! Can I have him? Please? Please? Pleasepleasepleaseplease?" But Elizabeth isn't quite as trusting as Sheppard (for a military guy, it's ridiculous how trusting he is) and her concerns are more practical, stating, "He's not very forthcoming." Shep, fast talker that he is, has a ready response for all of her rebuttals. "He's been on the run for seven years. What do you expect? Listen... (and omg, did he just touch her? erm, okay, I could be seeing things.) Just talk to the guy. You owe him that much at least." Ahhh... and John hits her weak spot with an earnest puppy-dog look that makes her hesitate between him and the meeting she has waiting in her office. She gives in and heads into her meeting. John's expression: 'damn, who knew I'd still need to work at swaying her when I'm already putting out every night.' It's insane how much of an influence he has on her. Which can only mean one thing (imo). They are so doing it, it's practically been bulldozed permanently into canon.
Back at the shrink's. McKay and Cadman rip an entire chapter out of Lord of the Rings with their homage to the Smeagol/Gollum two-sided conversation. Heightmeyer tries to mediate, but there's no getting in the middle of McKay grumping about wanting an apology for Cadman's stunt during his date. There's an angry exchange over who has the rights to McKay's body, with both of them acting like spoiled brats. Thankfully, Heightmeyer finally interrupts the sniping and the alternating camera angles. The McKay storyline in this episode is hilarious and entertaining, but seriously... can it end already? I'm begging. (Memo to self: Check schedule for any future body possession episodes and foist those on recapper-in-crime. *smiles sweetly*)
Gym of post-coital (I'm assuming) workouts. While Teyla sleeps off their previous strenuous activities (what? we never saw Ronon leave her room, did we, hmm? and there was all that eyefucking and body touching), Ronon trains with the same bunch of guys that griped about getting their asses kicked. Ronon performs a semi-involved move on the Ford-wannabe, who lets out an enthusiastic "awesome!" after the maneuver is completed. And somewhere... Alex Winter wants his "acting career" back. I usually love all the secondary characters, but is it wrong to irrationally hate this guy? Because I do. *squishes his TV head with thumb and index finger* Before I can do any more imaginary things to the punk, Elizabeth shows up at the gym. She confirms that "Major" Sheppard (oops!) offered him a spot on his team. Ronon's back to his one-word answers again. Undeterred, Lizzie continues, saying that Shep should have spoken to her first before extending the offer (which probably explains her demotion of his rank, unless she just wants a month-long repeat of the 'I am Lt. Colonel, hear me roar' convos with him again) and that letting him stay on 'lantis is a Big Decision That Needs Serious Consideration. She's all smiles and kid-gloves with him, but Ronon doesn't seem to take her seriously at all, which makes me hate him a bit - shirt or no shirt - because no one messes with my Lizzie. Throughout the conversation, Ronon's face is stuck in perpetual "amused" mode. Either that or he's busy undressing Elizabeth with his eyes, which is understandable because 1) she's gorgeous, 2) he's been on the run for seven years, 3) Teyla may be good, but he's a strapping young man who has needs.
Weir: "So how do you feel?"
Ronon: "I'm thinking about it."
Weir: "Okay. Good. Well, I'm thinking about it, too. So I guess we'll just keep in touch then?"
She's so damn cute and awesome. But instead of worshipping her like all the other men on 'lantis, Ronon just blows her off with an "okay." And Elizabeth "oooookay"s him right back. On multiple viewings, it doesn't seem like Elizabeth is intimidated by him at all, but treats him rather like a fragile Sheppard pet, as evidenced by the very Mama!Lizzie tone of voice. He, however, doesn't seem to have a problem not taking her seriously at all and promptly ignores her in order to go back to Bill and the four Teds' excellent training. Elizabeth watches for awhile, and I'm assuming the flexing of the Ronon!arms will make or break her decision on whether she'll let Sheppard keep him.
Back to the bickering duo. Someone kill me, please. The alternating camera angles are back with a vengeance, and I keep thinking what I wouldn't give for a bottle of Grey Goose right now. I'd be mainlining it right about now. Cadman takes offense at my distraction. Oh, wait, she's only snarking at McKay: "Hey, you had a real opportunity to get inside the mind of a woman and actually expand your horizons." Uhh, Cadman? Hate to break it to you but you're more butch than McKay is. Rodney starts screaming until his face turns red and he ends up on the floor with a massive coronary. No, wait, again that was just me. He's only having some really fucked up convulsive seizure. Looks like someone finally answered my prayers to just resolve this thing and get Cadman the hell out of McKay's body already, dammit. Thank you.
It's back to the infirmary we go. I swear I'm going to be as crazy as McKay soon if this episode doesn't end soon or I don't get some 100-proof whatever into my system. As soon as McKay wakes up, Beckett tells him he suffered from "the seizures." Oh, no! Not that! Aww, Zelenka's standing in the background, all concerned! Rodney/Radek OTP! Beckett spews off some medical terms, all of which mean Very Bad Things for the McKay-Cadman tag-team, and adds an "I'm not sure how long you can go on like this." Hey, what about ME? Unfortunately, the Seizures will continue unless one of them releases control completely. And maybe I'm a selfish brat, but exactly how is this a something that requires a lot of thought? I'm sorry, but if it were my body, any tag-alongs are free to let go whenever they feel like it because I'm sure as hell staying put. First come, first served, dude. Fortunately, McKay is a much better person than I am and doesn't see this as an acceptable outcome, and tries to make Heightmeyer cry instead for causing this huge control issue fuck-up in the first place. (Ha! I love Kate, but seriously.) See what happens when you don't have the proper qualifications? Cadman realizes before McKay that the person who lets go will disappear completely, and that she already feels like she's fading away. Aww, I like Cadman! There's more alterna-cam shots, which is really annoying because no one really turns their head when speaking to themselves. Finally, Zelenka's reason for being there surfaces when McKay asks him for an update. Zelenka's all sad when he relates that they "rematerialized the mice. They were whole but they didn't survive." *sniffles* Poor mice! Everyone considers the implications. And as the sad music of woe swells in the background, Beckett gently warns that if one of them doesn't let go soon, they'll both die. Cadman-McKay raises her/his hand and volunteers: "I'll do it." And just to inject some levity to the scene, Beckett wonders aloud: "Which one of you said that?" And we fade to black.
Later that day. Beckett and Heightmeyer canoodle on the other side of the infirmary. And Pooh has finally dipped into the Roomie's stash of wine (it's okay, he's out of the country this month). TPTB have thankfully gotten rid of the alterna-cam headache and we get the return of the disembodied voice. Once again, McKay and Cadman have an internal debate over who gets to sacrifice their lives. Rodney doesn't want to let Cadman volunteer, which is really manly of him considering my response would have been a very adamant: "Tag! You're it!" Through McKay, Cadman asks for something to write on so she can pen a letter to her parents. She also wants McKay to be the one to give the letter to them, and to explain what happened. I can see it now: "Mr. and Mrs. Cadman, because of the intentional damage to the alien technology that initially beamed us to a fate worse than death, your daughter's consciousness was accidentally transferred into my body. Despite numerous attempts by my staff to correct this unfortunate issue, we determined that, in order for one of us to live, your daughter had to give up her life." Hmmm... I think I just recapped this entire episode in two sentences. WTF. *headdesk*
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However, Cadman's dying wishes do serve another purpose, prompting McKay to suddenly come up with the SOLUTION to all their problems. It's so ridiculously obvious that McKay and I are shocked Zelenka didn't come up with it first. McKay theorizes that one of the Gate's control crystals should help stabilize the Wraith machine. So everyone, to the Gate!
Hangar of Ho!Yay and eyefucking. Rodney and Radek play with the gate crystals and wheeeeeeee! The simulations work. THANK GOD. Radek, understandably, wants to do some more tests because it would be a bitch to accidentally kill his boyfriend. But McKay doesn't want to wait anymore: "I would prefer not to suffer a fatal siezure while we wait for you to round up more mice for testing." He adjusts the Wraith machine while Cadman thanks him for the "experience," and I'm assuming, for not allowing her to die unnecessarily even though they could have come up with this solution half an hour ago! Before McKay can give a corresponding reply, the trio of Carson, John and Elizabeth come running into the room. John's already objecting to the testing, out of concern and common sense. Sheesh, where's his sense of adventure? Let them do this so I can stop typing already.
Sheppard: "Hold on, Rodney. I thought all the mice died."
McKay: "Well, what are we? Mice or men?"
Hee. Rodney seems rather proud of his little joke. Elizabeth reminds them all of the seriousness of their situation, asking to see if he's sure about this. Rodney doesn't even hesitate with his "absolutely" so Elizabeth glances at Radek for a second opinion. For the record, I see nothing shippy at all, at least on her part, between Lizzie and either of these men. In this scene, anyway. Radek has no clue, either, because he merely shrugs. Though not entirely satisfied with the answers, Elizabeth relents with a soft "okay." *snuggles her* McKay asks for a moment, and while he steps aside to commune with himself (and Cadman), Lizzie glances at John, John glances at her, and they eyefuck for a few minutes. I don't need to "lalalalala" at all because the media player is freeze-framed on the evidence. *mentally smushes them closer together* Radek readies the machine and orders everyone to take a step back. This is where I wonder what would happen if John and Elizabeth were accidentally affected by the beam and ended up in a scenario similar to McKay/Cadman. *ponders* Oh, but then I'm distracted by John's hand... and it looks like he's touching Lizzie... But "Wait!" Cadman interrupts the proceedings to walk up to Carson. Cadman-McKay grabs him by the lab coat and plants a big juicy one on his lips that goes on and on and on and on and on... (People, I have a recap to finish!) And everywhere the slashers rejoiced and squee'd and... other things. Lizzie blinks a few times, and looks away slightly embarrassed but not overly shocked. She meets John's eyes (the Eyefuck of WE could be doing THAT right now, DAMMIT). John also looks a bit squicked by the kiss as evidenced by his muted 'omgwtf, get a room, people!' face (Sheppard!Expression #17). Or maybe he's done the math and come to the conclusion that after this kiss, Rodney is now more of a h0r than he is. In one episode, McKay's gotten more action than Shep has in more than one season (if you don't count all the action he's getting with Elizabeth, that is).
The kiss that never ends finally does end with Carson looking absolutely shell-shocked, but also not complaining. *las* Rodney, on the other hand, is mortified and covers his face, unable to make eye contact with any of his colleagues. Ha! Neither one of them is going to ever live this down. And once Shep manages to get over the shock, he'll probably be the first one in line to mess with them (because he's ten). McKay tells Zelenka to get on with the experimentation, and once again, we're treated to the Wraith Beam of Cheesy Special FX. According to the laptop, McKay-Cadman are now two separate life-signs inside the machine. Shep doesn't want to hear any of the geek-o-babble and orders Zelenka to get them out of there. Which he does. The beam whooshes both McKay AND Cadman out, and they fall to the ground unconscious.
Warning: Beware the Ship!Squee! (all in a huge paragraph for easy skipping) As the sun rises over the city, John and Lizzie leave their room of Sparky pr0n and head to the control room. Remembering that he still needed to resolve the issue of Ronon before he got distracted by all the sexing, John catches her attention with a "Oh, hey, did you get to talk to Ronon?" Lizzie looks like this is a conversation she doesn't want to be having (because he's obviously taking advantage of their relationship to get his way), but turns to John anyway. "Yes, I did. Chatty fellow, isn't he?" John directs a hopeful and insanely goofy smile her way. "And?" And? So? Therefore? Can he keep the Ronon!pet, pretty please? Mama!Lizzie finds it necessary to get all the clauses out of the way first: "He will be your responsibility." Even though we all know that John will agree to anything and everything, but she'll be the one stuck picking up after it and cleaning the litter box herself. John immediately beams -- a HUGE GLOWY BEAMY GRIN OF COCKY, SEXY HOTNESS (omg, *MELTS*) -- and touches her arm (PAN DOWN, DAMMIT! STUPID CAMERA, PAN DOWN!). With amazing self-confidence and a triumphantnod, he glees: "I knew you'd say 'yes.'" There are, however, appearances to be kept. Given that they're having this ridiculously shippy conversation in the middle of the gate room, Lizzie has to pretend that sleeping with Sheppard doesn't automatically give him free leeway with her. "I haven't said 'yes,'" she protests, rather weakly, because she (and Shep and everyone else who isn't blind) knows she's already decided to let him have his pet but wants to make him suffer for even just a tiny bit. John's smile fades a couple of notches to the 'okay, I'll pretend to be serious about this' level and points out, "But you were about to!" And then... evil, evil, evil man! He tilts his head just so... (ohdeargod, PoohKink#7) It's a wonder how Lizzie managed to hold out THIS LONG already, but she's only human. And if there's one immutable law in both galaxies, it's that Dr. Elizabeth Weir, despite her numerous powers, will never be immune to the considerable charms of one Lt. Colonel John Sheppard. She gives him the squinty-eyed glare of 'you're such an immature, overgrown child, but you're my immature, overgrown child' and mock-seethes a "Yes" with the mandatory headshake of exasperation. John playfully "there you go!"s with the MOST RIDICULOUSLY CUTE LOPSIDED GRIN EVAR and omg, did he touch her arm again? *kicks the stupid camera* He makes another 'see, that wasn't so hard' gesture with his hands as Lizzie "hmm"s, rolls her eyes, and shakes her head simultaneously. They part, with John bouncing happily down the stairs and Lizzie retreating to her office (where she can grin stupidly for the next hour or so). And Pooh sits here basking in the glow of their UTTERLY ADORABLE LINGERING CUTENESS. Hell, even the aliens in the next galaxy over are feeling all warm and fuzzy and squeeful for some inexplicable reason. That's how far their cuteness has permeated.
Oh, crap. I got sucked into the Obsessive Shippy Fangirlness of Sparky-Looping (I lost count after 20 clip loops -- three of those in slow-mo) and forgot to recap the last scene of the episode. It's a disease. It's not my fault their playful banter is so addictive. Or that they're comfortable acting like 10 year olds around each other and only each other. Or that all the fluffy!squee from fanon is now undeniably CANON. And, um... oh, right... one last scene to recap and then I can go back to looping the Sparky!Squee.
Back to the infirmary one last time. McKay sleeps with his mouth open. Heh. He wakes up to see Zelenka leaning against an infirmary bed. Across from him, Elizabeth's sitting on one of the sickbeds and John is sitting in a chair next to her, propping his head up so he's practically in her lap. If they were sitting any closer, they'd be on top of each other. Is it insane to see chemistry even here? McKay blinks everyone into focus and once again, Cadman's voice comes out of nowhere. "Feeling better?" McKay glances to his left, sees an empty bed, and panics: "Oh, no." But Cadman's to his right, and when he turns to see her, she gives him a cute little wave. Awww! The two joke about feeling less crowded and having their own bodies back. Please note that while they're being cute with each other, Radek has gone to stand beside McKay's bed. Carson is standing at the head of Cadman's bed. John and Lizzie are standing together. Somewhere in the city, Teyla and Ronon are going at it like wild monkeys. Dude, everyone's paired off! This show really is all about the sex, isn't it? Rodney and Radek do their verbal sparring of love.
McKay: "Nice work."
Zelenka: "It was your idea."
McKay: "Well, of course it was, but... you... you were there."
And then Radek dimples at him. Hee! Shep smartasses congratulations to Cadman for surviving what would have been his worst nightmare. ["YES. THANK YOU. Sheppard, you inside McKay in *any* way is also *my* worst nightmare." -- Little Red] Then Elizabeth guesses Cadman and McKay might want some time alone (which is really just an excuse for her and John to go do... other things), but all they want is to be by themselves. She gives Carson some final instructions and then leaves the infirmary with John hot on her heels. Is now a good time to mention that for the entire episode, John and Elizabeth were either entering/leaving the room together or standing very, very close? Or did I not need to mention that at all? Yeah, I figured. Taking his cue from Sparky, Zelenka also leaves. Carson grins and squeezes Cadman's hand. In a shipper's world, that's a confession of true love. Cadman knows it, too, because she smiles and watches him leave. The episode ends with McKay and Cadman exchanging knowing smiles and secret looks, leaving me confused. On one hand, Katie and Rodney would be cute. Cadman and Carson would be cute, too, but her forthrightness might break Carson. Cadman and McKay we already know are hilarious together. And... gah, way too many combinations! *forces orgy on all Atlanteans*
And there we have it. A hilarious episode, but a bitch to recap. A typical recap already takes forever to type up, but dealing with rapid-fire banter with a disembodied voice can drive a person to drink. Er. *hides liquor bottles* In addition to the great performance by David Hewlett (omg, can anyone love him more right now?), we had everything from Teyla/Ronon HOTNESS to Rodney/Radek slashiness, and of course, theSparky CUTENESS. This show manages to cater to all my needs. And really, what more could a girl ask for? Oh, right... more naked chests, please!
Next week on Stargate Atlantis (courtesy of mylittleredgirl): ALCATRAAAAAZ!
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That's all, folks. Don't forget to tip your recappers on the way out. Thanks!
Gym o' Rough and Kinky. Teyla, in her new alien hoochie lack-of-clothing, twirls her sticks around. Suddenly, she pounces and we see her sparring with Ronon. They're pretty evenly matched -- sweaty sheen, clothes, and skills. There's a lot of grunting and stuff, which is of the good. With the high probability of Teyla's boobs popping out of her non-shirt, this could very well lead to a really hot sex scene. Er, nevermind the two guards sitting in the corner, watching said sexage going on. Sadly, Sheppard interrupts them (wow, his genes are supa-strong if the doors open before he's even anywhere near them). Poor Sheppard is a bit confused, unhappy, and pouty: "I thought we were supposed to be sparring today." Teyla accuses him of being late and spending too much time sexing Lizzie instead making his appointments on time. Meanwhile, Ronon takes advantage of Teyla's distraction and knocks her sticks out of her hands while grabbing her by the throat and throwing her to the ground, pounding his chest and declaring, "Me, Ronon. You, MINE. *grunt grunt grunt*" Or, at least that's what his body language is screaming. *nods knowingly*
Seeing this aggressive display of manliness immediately puts Shep on edge because he thought he was supposed to be the alpha male on 'lantis. Oh, and there's probably something about how he hates seeing any of his team members getting hurt unnecessarily. With a quick sweep of his arm, he brings his own stick up to Ronon's neck. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Ronon's all pissed that his primal booty call is not going to happen and assures Shep that he "wouldn't have hurt her." Shep, however, is not convinced: "It sure as hell looked like you were going to." Oh, Shep, Shep, Shep. You obviously missed the hot eyefucking between the two aliens or else you would have known Ronon wasn't going to make her scream that way. He asks if she's okay and she stops herself from telling him to stop interrupting her makeout sessions with Ronon and settles for reassuring him that she's fine. Ronon glowers and stalks out of the room. Teyla's hand goes up to her chest, obviously disappointed that she won't be getting any tonight, and informs Shep that she "told [Ronon] that he did not have to go easy on me." Ah, Teyla likes it rough. Thought so. Shep doesn't get the innuendo and warns her to "be careful what you say to this guy." I don't know, Shep. There really aren't that many ways to misinterpret: "Do me. Do me now." But Teyla can't very well tell him that, so she just gives him a "I just wanted to get laid, DAMN YOU!" look. No wonder she's so frustrated and exasperated with Shep who, in all fairness, really thinks he's looking out for her best interests.
Cadman's quarters, which for some reason, has an exercise ball and a stationary bike. Wtf? They really brought a lot of stuff over on the Daedalus, didn't they? We enter mid-conversation with Cadman asking McKay if he'd rather "go it alone." McKay readily confirms this: "Oh, yes. Imagine that. I'd rather go it alone." Ha. I'm not quite sure what they're talking about, but it sounds dirty so sign me up. Oh. *disappointed* Apparently, they're only talking about his date with Dr. Katie Brown. Cadman wheedles, "Well, consider the opportunity, right? To have a woman there, helping you out, feeding you lines... I really think you could learn something." McKay doesn't seem amused by this plan. "Thank you for the offer, Cyrano, but I think I'll pass." But Cadman, being the strong independent woman that she is, decides she's going to help anyway and that's that. "I can make this a living hell for you, Rodney. This is something I want to do, and we're doing it." Hee.
Teyla's love nest. Hmm, let's see... Curtains drawn? Check. Candles? Check. Silk sheets? Check! Skimpy clothing and seductive pose? Check and check. The doors to Teyla's quarters slide open (wtf, doesn't anyone knock anymore?) and we get a glimpse of Ronon's entire body blocking the opening, like he's about to rush in and jump her. Teyla's obviously been waiting for her sex-god to show up because there's no other reason for her to be doing splits on the bed (wtf) except as a silent scream of "look what I can do in bed! Don't you want some of this? Oh, I know you do." Only, you know, without the contractions. At the sound of his voice, she looks up, touches her hair and invites him in. Dude. Teyla doesn't even close her legs, and a billion moms on Earth moan over this overt display of skankiness.
Ronon: "I wanted to apologize."
Teyla: "Do not worry, Ronon. It was... (*touches her own boob*) impressive."
Oooooooooh. DIRTY. Wait, did Ronon drop his pants during the pre-fight, because how else would Teyla know that... Oh, nevermind. She meant his stick ski11z. Er, fighting skills. (Yes, I'm five.) Ronon and his belly button sit down in the chair by Teyla's bed. Dude. Her legs? Are still spread open. There's some back and forth between the two, but honestly? I'm not listening because they've taken a page out of the Sheppard/Weir book on 'How to Orgasm Through Eyefuckage' and are practicing studiously, as all aliens are inclined to do when introduced to new Earth customs. They've actually grasped the concept pretty quickly. John and Elizabeth would be proud. Of course, eyefucking can include banter, so Teyla says something about her people and blahblahblah. I think it was in response to Ronon's question as to why she stayed on Atlantis, but he doesn't seem to care about the actual answer because he's all eyefuck, eyefuck, eyefuck. And she's all boob-touching, eyefuck, boob-touching. Hey, is the door still open? Wait, does it really matter? Like these two are going to care that two guards are watching. And... then they dun kinky exhibitionist sex. *fans self from the overwhelming hotness*
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Katie's love abode. It's now a double date (sort of). Carson apologizes profusely for butting in on the Katie/Rodney date, but Katie doesn't seem to mind. I have no clue what's wrong with her. I also have no clue what's wrong with Carson, who should have suffered any bitching and moaning Rodney would have dealt him by 'accidentally' forgetting to show up. Rodney comes in, looking pretty damn hot in his date clothes, and is surprised and upset to find Carson there. Poor Carson doesn't know what to do since Rodney invited him. Katie solves the confusion by telling everyone to sit down to dinner. Why is it that everyone's got a bed and a desk in their quarters, but Katie's got a whole freaking apartment? Oh, wait... there's her bed... complete with sheer curtains and... omg, it was totally made specifically for SMUT! Wow, it's always the cute quiet ones, huh? ["It's the red hair, dude." -- Little Red] Anyway, McKay sits down and starts eating, but Cadman interrupts him to suggest a toast. Katie looks absolutely smitten and Carson is mortified. Run, Carson, RUN! As expected, McKay adorably fumbles his words: "I toast. To you. We've been working together for some time now, a short time, but uh... In that time, I've... often found our interchanges very, uh... Ah, what I mean to say is that, um, you're very funny and smart and, uh... and from what I can tell, you make a delicious salad. So... to you." And Katie all but melts under such geeky cuteness. Awww, they're so damn cute together! *squishes them together and directs them to the Bed of Sin*
This date is so incredibly tense and awkward, even I'm cringing. But McKay has the right idea, practically inhaling his glass of wine (omg, WINE! They have alcohol on the show now! *gets John and Lizzie drunk as skunks*). I wish I had some liquor right now, actually. This recap would probably get written a lot faster, not to mention be a lot funnier, too. With no more liquor available, McKay lapses into complete silence. Katie keeps eating. Carson tries to look everywhere BUT at either one of them. Really, Carson, run. And while you're at it, get me a drink... no, a bottle... no, a kegger. Thanks. Anyway, AGAIN... this whole disembodied voice/two-characters-in-one is a real bitch to recap and lacking an IV drip of alcohol, let me just sum up: McKay fails Basic Conversation 101; Katie has fallen so hard for him she doesn't care that he can no longer string more than two words together; Carson exhibits signs of deer-caught-in-headlights paralysis. Then Cadman decides to take over before McKay totally ruins everything: "I don't want you to be insulted or to wonder whether or not I'm interested. Because I am. I am very. Very. Interested." And then he/she dips Katie and gives her massive amounts of tongue. Katie: *swoons* Carson: *blinks* Then in a move that neither Katie nor Carson question, McKay-Cadman puts an affectionate hand on Carson's cheek and gives him a lustful look. Pooh: *dies laughing*
Random hallway of multiple personalities. In what is probably the funniest scene in the episode -- maybe EVER -- McKay and Cadman have an argument, complete with voice changes and corresponding body motions. It's a tour de force performance by David Hewlett, but it's a BITCH to recap. So I won't. There isn't enough alcohol and recreational drugs in the world that'll get me to write all of this out. Therefore, I give you highlights: McKay-Cadman playing rock-paper-scissors, Cadman slapping McKay, and lots and lots of hilarity. Everyone? Drink.
Hangar... again. There's mice! Eeeee! John makes a cute face as the mice are placed in front of him. Elizabeth is in her usual spot, or in other words, anywhere within a one-foot radius around John. Zelenka sets up the experiment for McKay. There's something about the generator running on a buffer loop in order to trick the machine into not overloading. Yeah, it's a real crappy paraphrase, but both McKay and I are impatient to get this test over with. Please note: John and Elizabeth are now standing side-by-side. *squee* Zelenka fires up the machine and it cheesy-beams up the two mice (now with cheesy 70s sci-fi sound effects!). Because Joe Flanigan hasn't had much experience with sci-fi acting (as he loves repeating in his interviews *pets and snuggles him*), he provides us with a literal interpretation of the stage directions 'act really awed and wow'ed by the fake beaming thingamabob effect.' Hee. *pinches his cheeks, omg* It's all sorts of adorable that after all he's seen, Shep can still get a bit freaked by something as simple as dematerializing lab mice. Everyone else doesn't seem fazed and waits for Zelenka to rematerialize the mice. And... OMGWTFBBQMICE?! Based on everyone's expression, I'm thinking that's a big oopsie! Shep smarts off: "Now I'm no scientist, but those mice used to be a different color." Ah, Shep. Master of the obvious. Poor McKay concludes that he's "going to be stuck like this. Forever." Rodney and Radek share a "look" because they know that as long as Cadman is in his body, there will be no extracurricular activities of any kind. Ah, but this is TV, Rodney! All solutions may be found within the hour. Unless it's a multi-parter, which lucky for you, this isn't.
Control room of 'So Doing It.' "John." "Elizabeth." Pooh: *melts under the telepathic sex had through the use of first names* Oh, right. There's an actual conversation occurring... Elizabeth starts off by telling John that she doesn't think whatever his newest hare-brained scheme is a good idea. John follows her (because they're bonded by an invisible string), insisting that Elizabeth needs to see Ronon in action and that they need him on Atlantis because he's HOT an awesome fighter. Lizzie is skeptical because Ronon is an ALIEN, omg. Elizabeth pointedly reminds him that "we don't know anything about him." And John responds with a "What's there to know? He's such a cute little puppy! Can I have him? Please? Please? Pleasepleasepleaseplease?" But Elizabeth isn't quite as trusting as Sheppard (for a military guy, it's ridiculous how trusting he is) and her concerns are more practical, stating, "He's not very forthcoming." Shep, fast talker that he is, has a ready response for all of her rebuttals. "He's been on the run for seven years. What do you expect? Listen... (and omg, did he just touch her? erm, okay, I could be seeing things.) Just talk to the guy. You owe him that much at least." Ahhh... and John hits her weak spot with an earnest puppy-dog look that makes her hesitate between him and the meeting she has waiting in her office. She gives in and heads into her meeting. John's expression: 'damn, who knew I'd still need to work at swaying her when I'm already putting out every night.' It's insane how much of an influence he has on her. Which can only mean one thing (imo). They are so doing it, it's practically been bulldozed permanently into canon.
Back at the shrink's. McKay and Cadman rip an entire chapter out of Lord of the Rings with their homage to the Smeagol/Gollum two-sided conversation. Heightmeyer tries to mediate, but there's no getting in the middle of McKay grumping about wanting an apology for Cadman's stunt during his date. There's an angry exchange over who has the rights to McKay's body, with both of them acting like spoiled brats. Thankfully, Heightmeyer finally interrupts the sniping and the alternating camera angles. The McKay storyline in this episode is hilarious and entertaining, but seriously... can it end already? I'm begging. (Memo to self: Check schedule for any future body possession episodes and foist those on recapper-in-crime. *smiles sweetly*)
Gym of post-coital (I'm assuming) workouts. While Teyla sleeps off their previous strenuous activities (what? we never saw Ronon leave her room, did we, hmm? and there was all that eyefucking and body touching), Ronon trains with the same bunch of guys that griped about getting their asses kicked. Ronon performs a semi-involved move on the Ford-wannabe, who lets out an enthusiastic "awesome!" after the maneuver is completed. And somewhere... Alex Winter wants his "acting career" back. I usually love all the secondary characters, but is it wrong to irrationally hate this guy? Because I do. *squishes his TV head with thumb and index finger* Before I can do any more imaginary things to the punk, Elizabeth shows up at the gym. She confirms that "Major" Sheppard (oops!) offered him a spot on his team. Ronon's back to his one-word answers again. Undeterred, Lizzie continues, saying that Shep should have spoken to her first before extending the offer (which probably explains her demotion of his rank, unless she just wants a month-long repeat of the 'I am Lt. Colonel, hear me roar' convos with him again) and that letting him stay on 'lantis is a Big Decision That Needs Serious Consideration. She's all smiles and kid-gloves with him, but Ronon doesn't seem to take her seriously at all, which makes me hate him a bit - shirt or no shirt - because no one messes with my Lizzie. Throughout the conversation, Ronon's face is stuck in perpetual "amused" mode. Either that or he's busy undressing Elizabeth with his eyes, which is understandable because 1) she's gorgeous, 2) he's been on the run for seven years, 3) Teyla may be good, but he's a strapping young man who has needs.
Weir: "So how do you feel?"
Ronon: "I'm thinking about it."
Weir: "Okay. Good. Well, I'm thinking about it, too. So I guess we'll just keep in touch then?"
She's so damn cute and awesome. But instead of worshipping her like all the other men on 'lantis, Ronon just blows her off with an "okay." And Elizabeth "oooookay"s him right back. On multiple viewings, it doesn't seem like Elizabeth is intimidated by him at all, but treats him rather like a fragile Sheppard pet, as evidenced by the very Mama!Lizzie tone of voice. He, however, doesn't seem to have a problem not taking her seriously at all and promptly ignores her in order to go back to Bill and the four Teds' excellent training. Elizabeth watches for awhile, and I'm assuming the flexing of the Ronon!arms will make or break her decision on whether she'll let Sheppard keep him.
Back to the bickering duo. Someone kill me, please. The alternating camera angles are back with a vengeance, and I keep thinking what I wouldn't give for a bottle of Grey Goose right now. I'd be mainlining it right about now. Cadman takes offense at my distraction. Oh, wait, she's only snarking at McKay: "Hey, you had a real opportunity to get inside the mind of a woman and actually expand your horizons." Uhh, Cadman? Hate to break it to you but you're more butch than McKay is. Rodney starts screaming until his face turns red and he ends up on the floor with a massive coronary. No, wait, again that was just me. He's only having some really fucked up convulsive seizure. Looks like someone finally answered my prayers to just resolve this thing and get Cadman the hell out of McKay's body already, dammit. Thank you.
It's back to the infirmary we go. I swear I'm going to be as crazy as McKay soon if this episode doesn't end soon or I don't get some 100-proof whatever into my system. As soon as McKay wakes up, Beckett tells him he suffered from "the seizures." Oh, no! Not that! Aww, Zelenka's standing in the background, all concerned! Rodney/Radek OTP! Beckett spews off some medical terms, all of which mean Very Bad Things for the McKay-Cadman tag-team, and adds an "I'm not sure how long you can go on like this." Hey, what about ME? Unfortunately, the Seizures will continue unless one of them releases control completely. And maybe I'm a selfish brat, but exactly how is this a something that requires a lot of thought? I'm sorry, but if it were my body, any tag-alongs are free to let go whenever they feel like it because I'm sure as hell staying put. First come, first served, dude. Fortunately, McKay is a much better person than I am and doesn't see this as an acceptable outcome, and tries to make Heightmeyer cry instead for causing this huge control issue fuck-up in the first place. (Ha! I love Kate, but seriously.) See what happens when you don't have the proper qualifications? Cadman realizes before McKay that the person who lets go will disappear completely, and that she already feels like she's fading away. Aww, I like Cadman! There's more alterna-cam shots, which is really annoying because no one really turns their head when speaking to themselves. Finally, Zelenka's reason for being there surfaces when McKay asks him for an update. Zelenka's all sad when he relates that they "rematerialized the mice. They were whole but they didn't survive." *sniffles* Poor mice! Everyone considers the implications. And as the sad music of woe swells in the background, Beckett gently warns that if one of them doesn't let go soon, they'll both die. Cadman-McKay raises her/his hand and volunteers: "I'll do it." And just to inject some levity to the scene, Beckett wonders aloud: "Which one of you said that?" And we fade to black.
Later that day. Beckett and Heightmeyer canoodle on the other side of the infirmary. And Pooh has finally dipped into the Roomie's stash of wine (it's okay, he's out of the country this month). TPTB have thankfully gotten rid of the alterna-cam headache and we get the return of the disembodied voice. Once again, McKay and Cadman have an internal debate over who gets to sacrifice their lives. Rodney doesn't want to let Cadman volunteer, which is really manly of him considering my response would have been a very adamant: "Tag! You're it!" Through McKay, Cadman asks for something to write on so she can pen a letter to her parents. She also wants McKay to be the one to give the letter to them, and to explain what happened. I can see it now: "Mr. and Mrs. Cadman, because of the intentional damage to the alien technology that initially beamed us to a fate worse than death, your daughter's consciousness was accidentally transferred into my body. Despite numerous attempts by my staff to correct this unfortunate issue, we determined that, in order for one of us to live, your daughter had to give up her life." Hmmm... I think I just recapped this entire episode in two sentences. WTF. *headdesk*
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However, Cadman's dying wishes do serve another purpose, prompting McKay to suddenly come up with the SOLUTION to all their problems. It's so ridiculously obvious that McKay and I are shocked Zelenka didn't come up with it first. McKay theorizes that one of the Gate's control crystals should help stabilize the Wraith machine. So everyone, to the Gate!
Hangar of Ho!Yay and eyefucking. Rodney and Radek play with the gate crystals and wheeeeeeee! The simulations work. THANK GOD. Radek, understandably, wants to do some more tests because it would be a bitch to accidentally kill his boyfriend. But McKay doesn't want to wait anymore: "I would prefer not to suffer a fatal siezure while we wait for you to round up more mice for testing." He adjusts the Wraith machine while Cadman thanks him for the "experience," and I'm assuming, for not allowing her to die unnecessarily even though they could have come up with this solution half an hour ago! Before McKay can give a corresponding reply, the trio of Carson, John and Elizabeth come running into the room. John's already objecting to the testing, out of concern and common sense. Sheesh, where's his sense of adventure? Let them do this so I can stop typing already.
Sheppard: "Hold on, Rodney. I thought all the mice died."
McKay: "Well, what are we? Mice or men?"
Hee. Rodney seems rather proud of his little joke. Elizabeth reminds them all of the seriousness of their situation, asking to see if he's sure about this. Rodney doesn't even hesitate with his "absolutely" so Elizabeth glances at Radek for a second opinion. For the record, I see nothing shippy at all, at least on her part, between Lizzie and either of these men. In this scene, anyway. Radek has no clue, either, because he merely shrugs. Though not entirely satisfied with the answers, Elizabeth relents with a soft "okay." *snuggles her* McKay asks for a moment, and while he steps aside to commune with himself (and Cadman), Lizzie glances at John, John glances at her, and they eyefuck for a few minutes. I don't need to "lalalalala" at all because the media player is freeze-framed on the evidence. *mentally smushes them closer together* Radek readies the machine and orders everyone to take a step back. This is where I wonder what would happen if John and Elizabeth were accidentally affected by the beam and ended up in a scenario similar to McKay/Cadman. *ponders* Oh, but then I'm distracted by John's hand... and it looks like he's touching Lizzie... But "Wait!" Cadman interrupts the proceedings to walk up to Carson. Cadman-McKay grabs him by the lab coat and plants a big juicy one on his lips that goes on and on and on and on and on... (People, I have a recap to finish!) And everywhere the slashers rejoiced and squee'd and... other things. Lizzie blinks a few times, and looks away slightly embarrassed but not overly shocked. She meets John's eyes (the Eyefuck of WE could be doing THAT right now, DAMMIT). John also looks a bit squicked by the kiss as evidenced by his muted 'omgwtf, get a room, people!' face (Sheppard!Expression #17). Or maybe he's done the math and come to the conclusion that after this kiss, Rodney is now more of a h0r than he is. In one episode, McKay's gotten more action than Shep has in more than one season (if you don't count all the action he's getting with Elizabeth, that is).
The kiss that never ends finally does end with Carson looking absolutely shell-shocked, but also not complaining. *las* Rodney, on the other hand, is mortified and covers his face, unable to make eye contact with any of his colleagues. Ha! Neither one of them is going to ever live this down. And once Shep manages to get over the shock, he'll probably be the first one in line to mess with them (because he's ten). McKay tells Zelenka to get on with the experimentation, and once again, we're treated to the Wraith Beam of Cheesy Special FX. According to the laptop, McKay-Cadman are now two separate life-signs inside the machine. Shep doesn't want to hear any of the geek-o-babble and orders Zelenka to get them out of there. Which he does. The beam whooshes both McKay AND Cadman out, and they fall to the ground unconscious.
Warning: Beware the Ship!Squee! (all in a huge paragraph for easy skipping) As the sun rises over the city, John and Lizzie leave their room of Sparky pr0n and head to the control room. Remembering that he still needed to resolve the issue of Ronon before he got distracted by all the sexing, John catches her attention with a "Oh, hey, did you get to talk to Ronon?" Lizzie looks like this is a conversation she doesn't want to be having (because he's obviously taking advantage of their relationship to get his way), but turns to John anyway. "Yes, I did. Chatty fellow, isn't he?" John directs a hopeful and insanely goofy smile her way. "And?" And? So? Therefore? Can he keep the Ronon!pet, pretty please? Mama!Lizzie finds it necessary to get all the clauses out of the way first: "He will be your responsibility." Even though we all know that John will agree to anything and everything, but she'll be the one stuck picking up after it and cleaning the litter box herself. John immediately beams -- a HUGE GLOWY BEAMY GRIN OF COCKY, SEXY HOTNESS (omg, *MELTS*) -- and touches her arm (PAN DOWN, DAMMIT! STUPID CAMERA, PAN DOWN!). With amazing self-confidence and a triumphantnod, he glees: "I knew you'd say 'yes.'" There are, however, appearances to be kept. Given that they're having this ridiculously shippy conversation in the middle of the gate room, Lizzie has to pretend that sleeping with Sheppard doesn't automatically give him free leeway with her. "I haven't said 'yes,'" she protests, rather weakly, because she (and Shep and everyone else who isn't blind) knows she's already decided to let him have his pet but wants to make him suffer for even just a tiny bit. John's smile fades a couple of notches to the 'okay, I'll pretend to be serious about this' level and points out, "But you were about to!" And then... evil, evil, evil man! He tilts his head just so... (ohdeargod, PoohKink#7) It's a wonder how Lizzie managed to hold out THIS LONG already, but she's only human. And if there's one immutable law in both galaxies, it's that Dr. Elizabeth Weir, despite her numerous powers, will never be immune to the considerable charms of one Lt. Colonel John Sheppard. She gives him the squinty-eyed glare of 'you're such an immature, overgrown child, but you're my immature, overgrown child' and mock-seethes a "Yes" with the mandatory headshake of exasperation. John playfully "there you go!"s with the MOST RIDICULOUSLY CUTE LOPSIDED GRIN EVAR and omg, did he touch her arm again? *kicks the stupid camera* He makes another 'see, that wasn't so hard' gesture with his hands as Lizzie "hmm"s, rolls her eyes, and shakes her head simultaneously. They part, with John bouncing happily down the stairs and Lizzie retreating to her office (where she can grin stupidly for the next hour or so). And Pooh sits here basking in the glow of their UTTERLY ADORABLE LINGERING CUTENESS. Hell, even the aliens in the next galaxy over are feeling all warm and fuzzy and squeeful for some inexplicable reason. That's how far their cuteness has permeated.
Oh, crap. I got sucked into the Obsessive Shippy Fangirlness of Sparky-Looping (I lost count after 20 clip loops -- three of those in slow-mo) and forgot to recap the last scene of the episode. It's a disease. It's not my fault their playful banter is so addictive. Or that they're comfortable acting like 10 year olds around each other and only each other. Or that all the fluffy!squee from fanon is now undeniably CANON. And, um... oh, right... one last scene to recap and then I can go back to looping the Sparky!Squee.
Back to the infirmary one last time. McKay sleeps with his mouth open. Heh. He wakes up to see Zelenka leaning against an infirmary bed. Across from him, Elizabeth's sitting on one of the sickbeds and John is sitting in a chair next to her, propping his head up so he's practically in her lap. If they were sitting any closer, they'd be on top of each other. Is it insane to see chemistry even here? McKay blinks everyone into focus and once again, Cadman's voice comes out of nowhere. "Feeling better?" McKay glances to his left, sees an empty bed, and panics: "Oh, no." But Cadman's to his right, and when he turns to see her, she gives him a cute little wave. Awww! The two joke about feeling less crowded and having their own bodies back. Please note that while they're being cute with each other, Radek has gone to stand beside McKay's bed. Carson is standing at the head of Cadman's bed. John and Lizzie are standing together. Somewhere in the city, Teyla and Ronon are going at it like wild monkeys. Dude, everyone's paired off! This show really is all about the sex, isn't it? Rodney and Radek do their verbal sparring of love.
McKay: "Nice work."
Zelenka: "It was your idea."
McKay: "Well, of course it was, but... you... you were there."
And then Radek dimples at him. Hee! Shep smartasses congratulations to Cadman for surviving what would have been his worst nightmare. ["YES. THANK YOU. Sheppard, you inside McKay in *any* way is also *my* worst nightmare." -- Little Red] Then Elizabeth guesses Cadman and McKay might want some time alone (which is really just an excuse for her and John to go do... other things), but all they want is to be by themselves. She gives Carson some final instructions and then leaves the infirmary with John hot on her heels. Is now a good time to mention that for the entire episode, John and Elizabeth were either entering/leaving the room together or standing very, very close? Or did I not need to mention that at all? Yeah, I figured. Taking his cue from Sparky, Zelenka also leaves. Carson grins and squeezes Cadman's hand. In a shipper's world, that's a confession of true love. Cadman knows it, too, because she smiles and watches him leave. The episode ends with McKay and Cadman exchanging knowing smiles and secret looks, leaving me confused. On one hand, Katie and Rodney would be cute. Cadman and Carson would be cute, too, but her forthrightness might break Carson. Cadman and McKay we already know are hilarious together. And... gah, way too many combinations! *forces orgy on all Atlanteans*
And there we have it. A hilarious episode, but a bitch to recap. A typical recap already takes forever to type up, but dealing with rapid-fire banter with a disembodied voice can drive a person to drink. Er. *hides liquor bottles* In addition to the great performance by David Hewlett (omg, can anyone love him more right now?), we had everything from Teyla/Ronon HOTNESS to Rodney/Radek slashiness, and of course, theSparky CUTENESS. This show manages to cater to all my needs. And really, what more could a girl ask for? Oh, right... more naked chests, please!
Next week on Stargate Atlantis (courtesy of mylittleredgirl): ALCATRAAAAAZ!
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That's all, folks. Don't forget to tip your recappers on the way out. Thanks!