(no subject)
A reasonably old post I made on SA's Wrestlehut regarding the main event for that week's WWE RAW. References ahoy!
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13 I will speak of the glorious honour of Our Champ, and declare His mighty acts.
14 Of a truth I say unto you, that Our Champ was hanged upon the Walls of Jericho for a full three minutes and three seconds.
15 And that the Ayatollah said unto Him, Question thou our true LORD?
16 And then the Ayatollah asked him once more, Question thou our true LORD?
16 Then in the audience of all the Pharisees, Our Champ loudly cried:
17 McMahon, McMahon, why hast thou forsaken me?
18 Upon which, an unclean spirit fell upon the Pharisees, and they cried out to Our Saviour, Forsooth, it is Behemoth! Behemoth hast come at this late hour!
19 His limbs are as strong as cast iron, his bones as a load of copper.
20 Carts and ships carry bread to him and his power is in the navel of his belly.
21 Then came Behemoth forth. The Ayatollah and he both fell upon Our Champ
22 They struck Our Champ with their fists, and they kicked Him like the governor's mule.
23 Forthwith, they took delight in their iniquities. There was evil intent in their minds, and murder in their hearts.
24 And they finally departed at the tenth minute, and Our Champ lay still and silent in the sacred circle.
25 And then it was time for the third match, against the viper in the grass.
26 The viper is the prince of the power of the air, and the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience.
27 He is the god of this world. Now here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding read the message of the viper: for it is of the letters that make a man; and these letters are R, K and O.
28 And the viper, as though a vulture of the air, had come to prey upon Our suffering Champ.
29 But lo! a miracle! For Our Champ rose on this, the third match, and He lived again.
30 The lands did rejoice at His triumph over the grave; Our Champ healeth the hearts of children and women, and bindeth up their wounds.
31 Then, did Our Champ not have knowledge of all the lurking places where the viper hid himself? Did He not ask the viper to repent before casting him down from the heavens? Did not the invisible cherubim and seraphim then utter the memory of His great goodness? His time begins, His time begins.
32 Thus did Our Champ stride through the valley of the shadow, and go forth with a hymn of praise on His lips.
33 But where He went after that, no man can say.
34 But the hour of His return draws near!
35 For soon He shall come again, transfigured and ineffable, as Our Saviour.
36 Where He will be wreathed in silver and glory forevermore, and shall have dominion over all the powers of darkness and principalities of Hell
in a cell.
Rapadoo.
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Really, I wish that Cena hadn't been scripted to become Superman after suffering that particular Walls of Jericho. It's supposed to be one of the most painful submission moves in WWE. =(
And both Cena and Orton have awesome body language. Cena's this very classically heroic whitebread big brother figure, and Orton plays a cowardly bully very well. It helps that Orton is ridiculously lean, and has sunken eyes, and long arms. All the better for stalking down people with. In fact, the dude looks like the sort of neo-Nazi who'd shiv you in prison because the voices told him to.
Yay Orton!
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Click to view13 I will speak of the glorious honour of Our Champ, and declare His mighty acts.
14 Of a truth I say unto you, that Our Champ was hanged upon the Walls of Jericho for a full three minutes and three seconds.
15 And that the Ayatollah said unto Him, Question thou our true LORD?
16 And then the Ayatollah asked him once more, Question thou our true LORD?
16 Then in the audience of all the Pharisees, Our Champ loudly cried:
17 McMahon, McMahon, why hast thou forsaken me?
18 Upon which, an unclean spirit fell upon the Pharisees, and they cried out to Our Saviour, Forsooth, it is Behemoth! Behemoth hast come at this late hour!
19 His limbs are as strong as cast iron, his bones as a load of copper.
20 Carts and ships carry bread to him and his power is in the navel of his belly.
21 Then came Behemoth forth. The Ayatollah and he both fell upon Our Champ
22 They struck Our Champ with their fists, and they kicked Him like the governor's mule.
23 Forthwith, they took delight in their iniquities. There was evil intent in their minds, and murder in their hearts.
24 And they finally departed at the tenth minute, and Our Champ lay still and silent in the sacred circle.
25 And then it was time for the third match, against the viper in the grass.
26 The viper is the prince of the power of the air, and the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience.
27 He is the god of this world. Now here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding read the message of the viper: for it is of the letters that make a man; and these letters are R, K and O.
28 And the viper, as though a vulture of the air, had come to prey upon Our suffering Champ.
29 But lo! a miracle! For Our Champ rose on this, the third match, and He lived again.
30 The lands did rejoice at His triumph over the grave; Our Champ healeth the hearts of children and women, and bindeth up their wounds.
31 Then, did Our Champ not have knowledge of all the lurking places where the viper hid himself? Did He not ask the viper to repent before casting him down from the heavens? Did not the invisible cherubim and seraphim then utter the memory of His great goodness? His time begins, His time begins.
32 Thus did Our Champ stride through the valley of the shadow, and go forth with a hymn of praise on His lips.
33 But where He went after that, no man can say.
34 But the hour of His return draws near!
35 For soon He shall come again, transfigured and ineffable, as Our Saviour.
36 Where He will be wreathed in silver and glory forevermore, and shall have dominion over all the powers of darkness and principalities of Hell
in a cell.
Rapadoo.
-------------------------------------------
Really, I wish that Cena hadn't been scripted to become Superman after suffering that particular Walls of Jericho. It's supposed to be one of the most painful submission moves in WWE. =(
And both Cena and Orton have awesome body language. Cena's this very classically heroic whitebread big brother figure, and Orton plays a cowardly bully very well. It helps that Orton is ridiculously lean, and has sunken eyes, and long arms. All the better for stalking down people with. In fact, the dude looks like the sort of neo-Nazi who'd shiv you in prison because the voices told him to.
Yay Orton!