The newest way to raise my hackles (1,700 words about who knows what)

[zevhonith]

Comments

[ilcylic]

Wow. Twice a week? I'm amazed you could go up that frequently and still have it work.

-Ogre

[coffegrl]

DMH hit at least that often for about 6 months.. I think he just took more and more each time

[zevhonith]

Yeah, I knew a couple people who did that. I was more conservative, though.

[zevhonith]

Yeah, I didn't really. It's an exaggeration. I think there were two weeks where we dropped more than once a week, and then it did pretty much stop working.

[cryptosporidosi]

Wow. It brings to mind two things
1) when people say i don't mean to judge but,... lately I taken to saying "But, you already have."

2)also someone asked about high school about who I was then I had no answer except stories of time, I see now that what I meant to say was that I was me I was just in a different place here let me explain...

[zevhonith]

Yes, exactly. On both points. I love the wording of the second point, especially. I was me, just in a different place.

[victoriouslimp]

*insert appropriate comment here* ;)

[zevhonith]

*insert appropriate reply here* :P

[thatgirly]

*insert appropriate sarcastic, but still loving, joke here*

[zevhonith]

Well, you know, maybe it is an unreachable goal.

I think my goal, in the end, is to understand *myself*. Cause the more *I* understand, the less I need other people to. And I get things out of writing about it that I don't get any other way.

So, even when I do end up feeling totally alienated and resentful because of livejournal, the good it does me still outweighs the bad in the end. Maybe there's not anything I will ever be able to say to make someone else get it, but I'm beginning to think that sooner or later, *I'll* get it.

[bjorng]

I think it *is* an unreachable goal. Even in the most basic things it is hard to make oneself understood. How can we expect to explain our emotions, our inner feelings, to others?

Yet I react the same way you do when people don't take me at face value. I feel that's a failing in myself, but one I don't know how to address. (In my case, it's muchh less of a concern specifically in my LJ than it is in my life in general.)

Maybe I'll give up the resentment of being judged and comfort myself with the knowledge that *I* know how it feels.

That's a good way to put it, and an (unattainable?) ideal to which I strive.

[zevhonith]

I think there's an attainable goal there, even if it's more simply stated. If I can get the resentment to be fleeting and unimportant, instead of *gnawing* at me, then it'll have no visible effect on my life, and I can move on happily hopping down the bunny trail. Right now it matters too much to me, which is just flat-out silly.

There's two things I need to attack, I think; whatever insecurity it is in me that causes me to resent that so much, and also just the way I choose to react to that feeling when it happens. I know that I have a tendency to dwell, which really does me a disservice ultimately.

[thatgirly]

I'm sorry if you feel I've judged you by your stories, that must have been really hard for you, but I'm really, really proud of you for being able to just put it all out there like this, you know, you've really come a long way.

[spider88]

I love your icon a lot. :)

[thatgirly]

Thank you, though the credit is not mine since I stole it. Well, actually, I asked permission first.

[zevhonith]

:P