Comments | zhouhua00: Say NO to Another bully

zhouhua00

Say NO to Another bully - kizzikat

Mar 16, 2014 21:22

Three years ago, I was bullied by a woman in the Brokeback Mountain community and I said NO to her loud and clear. I hope this would never happen again, but unfortunately it did.

It all started with a heated debate about Roxanne here. And I admit that I feel strong towards that woman - in a negative way, and therefore I gave some very sharp ( Read more... )

say no to bullying

Comments 24

goldenboat March 17 2014, 05:26:14 UTC

I just saw the thread..It was a very lively discussion and no rude words were exchanged...although everyone seemed somewhat agitated. Arguments and debates like these increase the depth of our knowledge and enrich us with the view of others. Views and opinions about history are what makes history what it's today. It's unfortunate if some don't get it or take it personally. You know Hua, I am a student of Presidency College and our Departmental Head was a world renowned historian. He often asked us the questions..."what do you think must have happened?"..."What course would have history followed if this particular incident didn't take place or occur in a different manner?" at the end of each discussion. It helped all of us to stretch the frontiers of our knowledge and imaginations. He taught us something invaluable...what you think about history is also a part of history ( ... )

zhouhua00 March 17 2014, 22:05:21 UTC

Thank you for your support my dear!

I completely agree that debates and disagreements are what made us think and learn from each other, as long as all members respect each other and focus on the point. Our mind is like a knife and it needs to be sharped by a grinding stone and a sparkling rebate serves as a nice grinding stone.

I have participated in many other forums and their debates could be really hot. I am a soccer fan and I participated some sports fan forums and let me tell you the atmosphere could be really scalding there.

By comparison the Army discussion is so docile/gentle and the so-called heated debate is really just mediocre. I am truly amazed the way kizzikat jumped up and threw a tantrum like a spoiled brat. But then I met narrow-minded people before who simply couldn't tolerate any ideas other than their own.

kizzikat March 17 2014, 11:16:51 UTC

Do you not think that if the problem has happened twice, you should look at what you are doing?

I could not care less about Roxane but when people start getting aggressively out of control and are insulting, then I do not think anyone should have to tolerate it.

Just learn to moderate your language and you would not have a problem. Try to have a civilised discussion, not an aggressive rant, and you would not cause yourself so many problems.

zhouhua00 March 17 2014, 21:41:28 UTC

So you are trying to say is that if a victim gets robbed/stolen twice it has his fault, and if a child gets bullied twice, then he is the one to blame. I am not surprised at all this is your kind of logic.

The way I see it, a victim should call the police every time he was robbed/stolen, and a child should say NO every time he was bullied.

Again, nobody was calling names and insulting in that discussion except YOU. Shame on you for inverting right and wrong!

2wards_the_sun March 18 2014, 09:34:45 UTC

Dear Hua,

I know that you consider yourself a victim of bullying in the Roxane discussion/debate over at Alexander's Army, but perhaps there is some some validity to the criticism being leveled at you. You mention in your reply to goldenboat that you have "met narrow-minded people before who simply couldn't tolerate any ideas other than their own," yet you argued against nearly every other opinion presented in the aforementioned thread because it didn't match your views. Did you truly feel that everyone else's ideas were so inferior to your own and so downright erroneous that they didn't deserve your tolerance ( ... )

kizzikat March 18 2014, 18:56:37 UTC

Dear Emi,

Thank you very much for such a thoughtful, considered response. Much better than I could manage!

If zhouhua00 would just hold up her hands and say 'Sorry, I over-stepped the mark', I would gladly let her back into the community, but I doubt that is going to happen as she seems quite convinced she is the victim.

I hope neither of us gets a torrent of abuse for this, but thank you for trying.

Best wishes.

zhouhua00 March 18 2014, 20:34:37 UTC

Dear Emi ( ... )

zhouhua00 March 18 2014, 20:41:02 UTC

My company block livejournal from office. I only read your comment after I came back home, which is about an hour ago.

I wrote back the reply within half an hour, and now I have to go back to work. I am supposed to work from home now.

And I do want to ask how you can include people's name and links in a message. I copied the name but the link won't work.

Thanks

Hua

violetsuki March 18 2014, 18:12:10 UTC

I agree with you, Emi. If I have had time this is exactly what I wanted to write ( ... )

kizzikat March 18 2014, 19:00:34 UTC

Thank you very much for this post, Violetsuki. I don't want to say too much and provoke a backlash, so I would refer you to my reply to Emi above.

trampadoo March 18 2014, 21:43:04 UTC

If that has happened twice to you then maybe you should ask yourself why and consider the possibility that you were the cause, not the person who banned you ( ... )