Coagulation (07/20)
Hey everyone, I'm finally back!! I am so so sorry it has taken me so long to update this OTL I was planning to as soon as the summer started, but then I left the state for ten days and had no internet connection, though I did get some writing done ^^
I am not the biggest fan of this chapter, to be honest, but I still hope you all enjoy it ^^ please comment, because I like to know people are reading this. If I don't think people are reading, it doesn't give me very much confidence.
I hope you enjoy!!
단 한 번만 한 번만 날 찾아봐 제발
- Blind by TRAX
“One, two, three, hello we are Dong bang Shin Ki.” the five young men said in complete unison, bowing low and waving a hand at the snapping cameras before them. As they heard their names called, they took the seats carefully set out in a perfectly straight line, waiting for their manager to call on the first question. A reporter stood as he was gestured at, a young woman sitting dutifully beside him, her fingers perched over the keyboard of her laptop, anticipating the teen's answers to whatever questions were to come. YunHo felt Jae's eyes on him as he answered questions, their proud leader talking for them as a group.
“Image seems to be of great importance for all of you, since you each have a very specific concept, have you ever felt the need to break free of the conceptual restraints on your image?” a journalist asked. Each member thought carefully, all knowing that the concept they were given was not anything that reflected their personalities. YunHo knew that, though each of the members were given a microphone, he was the only member supposed to make answers unless there was a question aimed directly at another member, though before he could answer, another reporter stood,
“YunHo-ssi, your concept is masculine, right?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow, when YunHo nodded he continued, “I find it so hard to believe that a group so fixed on image and concept would allow you to keep teeth like that. Why haven't you had them put right yet? Or are you doing it to boost the self esteem of your ugly fans?” YunHo was slightly taken aback by the rudeness. He spared a glance at the manager who looked slightly confused, how was this even related? It seemed to be nothing but a direct personal attack on YunHo's image. The leader raised a hand to his teeth, as if to stifle a cough and subtly covered his mouth, feeling suddenly self conscious. YooChun noticed his discomfort and immediately covered,
“We are still young, JunSu-yah, YunHo and JaeJoong Hyung-deul and I have only recently completed high school, where as ChangMin-ah still has two more years ahead of him. We continue to keep our boyish image as we are hardly men. We promise to work hard to approve our image as we grow.” the boy said, wanting to say anything that would distract the man from his dear Hyung.
“Yes, each member has their own imperfections. As we reach each one of our comebacks, we shall all make efforts to touch on all of these imperfections and work hard to approve.” Jae added, a defensive fire burning inside him. YunHo was perfect in every way, how dare someone make him feel below that? The reporter didn't look satisfied, but a young woman stood up, causing the man to take his seat. Jae felt himself be washed with relief as YunHo left the firing range, questions coming at them about their debut, their concept change from the cute and innocence of Hug, to the bad boy and danger of The Way U Are. Yet YunHo's hand barely moved from close to his mouth the entire time.
~
Jae sighed lazily, pushing his black hair from his eyes as he dropped his pants to the ground, stepping out of them and onto the cold tile of the bathroom floor.
“Hyung! Hurry up! JunSu-yah and YunHo-hyung still need to shower!” he heard YooChun call through the door. Jae made a noise in the affirmative as he turned the taps, letting the hot water spill over his body. The man didn't hear the door as it clicked shut, nor did he hear the soft whisper of cloth hitting the tile floor, yet the sound of the shower door being pulled open awoke his senses. The man's first instinct was to cover his naked body, but when his surprised eyes lay themselves on YunHo, his hands fell, a smile forming on his lips.
“What are you doing?” Jae asked, reaching up to cup the younger's right cheek, his thumb running softly against his full bottom lip.
“Conserving water.” YunHo replied, he smiled back at Jae, though the elder could see through it.
“What's the matter?” he whispered, moving closer to press his body against warm, wet skin. YunHo frowned, turning his face away towards the glass clouded in steam. “YunHo-yah...”
“Are my teeth really that bad?” he asked after a while, raising a hand to cover his mouth as he spoke. Jae frowned deeply, raising his arm to move that hand away.
“No. Everything about you is perfect.” Jae spoke in such a matter-of-fact tone that YunHo shook his head.
“You're the wrong person to ask.” he stated, his eyes holding nothing but nervousness. There was no confidence. Jae cupped his cheek again, gently turning YunHo's face back to face him,
“No I'm not. I am the right person to ask.” Jae was being serious. “Listen, YunHo. I love you more than I love anything, and in my eyes you are perfect beyond words. One journalists rude comments on your teeth does not change your perfection.”
“In your eyes.” YunHo repeated his words, his voice disbelieving. Jae sighed, pulling YunHo close and pressing their lips together. He let his tongue slip between YunHo's soft, full lips and run against the uneven surface of his jagged teeth. The leader pulled away and shook his head, ducking his hair underneath the jet of water above him, and shutting his lips together tightly. He felt as if he was pulling the group down, he felt like he wasn't as talented, wasn't as attractive and wasn't as popular as the other four members. He felt like the dead weight to the group.
“YunHo-yah, look at me.” Jae said softly. He pressed his body against the younger's in a desperate attempt to gain his attention. “YunHo, please. Do you remember, last year, when you were there when I needed someone to be? You told me it was okay to cry, you said that I should never be scared to let my emotions go. I think it's time for you to practice what you preach.”
“I can't.” was all the younger replied. “I need to stay strong because I'm the leader. If I lose it... If I lose it, what will the members think of me? How could I lead well if I cry? I cannot be weak!” YunHo was almost chanting a desperate mantra.
“YunHo, it's me. It's Jae... Your Jae. Your BooJae! Your Jae who loves you unconditionally, and who will hold you close until there are no tears left. Don't hold it in because it will drive you insane.” a hand was caressing a cheek,
“If I don't stay strong, who will?” tears were threatening to fall.
“I will be strong for the both of us. You just have to stay good... Good and pure. That's what you are, my perfect YunHo. You're capable of nothing but good and kindness. I will be strong for both of us, and I will protect your goodness.” words came like a soft summer breeze, full of hope, trust and comfort.
“You can't stay strong for both of us... it will wear you out...”
“Then we have YooChun-ah, JunSu-yah and little ChangMin-ah! We have HeeChul-hyung and DongHae-yah and HyukJae-yah. We have staff, we have our sisters, we have Cassiopeia. YunHo, you love a lot, and you love dearly. Never feel like you have to be strong for everyone you love, because we are the ones who have to help you.” Jae smiled softly as he saw a few tears fall and mix with the fresh, hot water dousing their naked bodies. YunHo was crying tears of stress, fear, exhaustion and frustration, and Jae was holding him just like he promised he would. “I mean it, YunHo. I will always be here for you, I will never let you down. Dong Bang Shin Ki will rule the world, we will win awards and we will own the industry, but what's more? We'll do it together. This is forever, you know. I promise you that we will reach amazing goals and triumphs together. Never feel alone, because this path is for the five of us together, and together we will stay until the end of time.”
And even though Jae knew he meant it, he couldn't help but feel like a liar.
Jae trailed off , his eyes trained on the dark sky he could see through the small windows. It was completely dark by now, must have been nearing 8pm. He felt like he had lied to himself for years, like he had been lying to YunHo the entire time.
“JaeJoong-nim?” MinJong's voice was almost silent, the trainee didn't want to frighten the elder out of his daze. Jae looked back to the boy, his expression was a mixture of nervous and worried as he began to chew on his lower lip.
“You remind me a bit of him, you know.” MinJong's eyes were wide at the confession. He hadn't expected that of all things. “You're terrified of the life you are embarking on... But I know that you're not only scared for yourself.” Jae's eyes were knowing. “You wanted to talk to me because you want to know if it always ends badly, don't you?”
“I...” the poor trainee was shocked by the sudden revelation of his ulterior motive.
“MinJong-ah... You wanted me to tell you the story of two men who held their love a secret, and who succeeded.” Jae sucked in a strong breath as he prepared to tell MinJong exactly what he didn't want to hear, but exactly what he needed to be told.. “I can't give you that.”
“You and YunHo...” the boy looked terrified. Jae just smiled sadly, looking down and breaking eye contact.
“Do you still want me to continue?” he asked.
“I want to know what happened.” MinJong's eyes were full of determination. Jae opened his mouth to continue speaking but paused, considering his words before he added,
“It's possible... There are couples who have done it.”
“There are?” MinJong's eyes were filled with new hope. It warmed Jae's heart. This boy obviously cared very much for whoever the other was. He needed to hear the hope that Jae could never give him,
“It was about two or so months after the release of The Way U Are. We were working on the first album and we barely had a moment to breathe, but our manager gave us a night off. He said we had to relax and catch up with those around us. We were idols, and we were busy, but he didn't want us to lose contact to the outside world...”
YunHo's smile was the biggest Jae had seen it in a long time, as he raised his glass of soju and clinked it against HeeChul's.
“To having famous friends!” HeeChul grinned, looking at the other trainees around him, all of whom laughed loudly,
“I should take a photo with you five and send it back to my parents!” Geng's smooth accent had become thicker under the influence of the alcohol.
“My sister would pee her pants if I told her I knew Park YooChun in real life.” HyukJae laughed. “I could have told her months ago, but seeing her fangirl over my best friends is far too entertaining.” as soon as HyukJae was finished, he reached over the table and high-fived JunSu.
“Still picking on her, I see, HyukJae?” YunHo laughed again, reaching out to flick HyukJae's forehead.
“Well now that JunSu has run off with his Hyungs, who else do I have?” the dancer pouted when he received a punch in the arm from his oldest friend.
“If JunHo was here he would hit you harder than I would!” JunSu said very knowingly of his dearest brother. Jae knew that he missed his twin a great deal,
“Are you kidding?” DongHae asked, a wide grin gracing his features, “If JunHo-hyung was here he'd be joining HyukJae!” everyone laughed again. Jae noticed ChangMin speaking quietly with another trainee that he recognised, but didn't know. YunHo sat back down in his seat, glancing over at the maknae and giving him a worried smile,
“ChangMin-ah, you okay?” he asked, reaching around the trainee to put a reassuring hand on the Maknae's shoulder. ChangMin smiled at nodded, “KiBum-ah will take care of you.” YunHo thumped the man beside him on the back, giving him a trusting smile.
“JunSu-yah... Will you come with us for a second?” Jae heard HyukJae whisper from beside him as DongHae rose to his feet. JunSu looked in between his two friends before nodding, and following them out of the room. Jae frowned, his eyes watching the men leaving. He was just about to stand and follow them, knowing that they would be up to no good, when HeeChul stopped him with a kick under the table.
“Let them go.” was all he said. The other trainees were all chatting happily as Jae cocked his eyebrow. He was about to reply when YunHo spoke,
“JaeJoong-ah.” he called. Jae looked up and made eye contact with the younger. “Can we speak for a second?” Jae frowned, but nodded anyway, getting to his feet and following the other out. As soon as the two were in a secluded area, YunHo faced him,
“I think we should tell HyukJae and DongHae.” he said, his eyebrows furrowed and his expression serious.
“Really?” Jae was slightly disbelieving. “Is that a good idea? A lot of people know, YunHo...”
“But they have been our friends for a long time. I know they'll accept us.” YunHo reasoned,
“But can we trust them not to tell anyone? And how can you be certain they wouldn't turn their backs on us?”
“Jae, what do you think they are doing right now?” YunHo asked, a cocky smile forming on his lips. Jae wanted to kiss that smile away.
“I think they are convincing JunSu to get involved with something childish and stupid. Their probably planning to prank us.”
“You know that neither of us believe that.” YunHo smirked. God damn it Jae wanted to kiss him. “We both know that HyukJae and DongHae are telling JunSu that they're in love, and we both know that JunSu won't care because he's already accepted us, why wouldn't he accept an older friend.”
“If we knew, he must have known far longer than us.” Jae smiled, feeling proud of his friend's perceptiveness.
“We can tell them.” YunHo assured him. Jae nodded, glancing around the hallway. The corridor of the dorms was empty other than the two of them. Jae smirked, leaning forward and pressing his lips against YunHo's for a brief but sincere kiss.
“Careful, boys, you don't want the wrong person to see that. You'd have to do a lot of explaining.” HeeChul's voice came again. The two lovers broke apart, looking at him, amazed.
“Hyung, I swear you need to wear a bell or something.” YunHo laughed, his arms not moving from around Jae. HeeChul smiled at the man, his heart warmed by the happiness in his eyes,
“Geng was going to follow me. You two are the ones who need bells.” he gave them a pointed look. “He wouldn't care, but others might. You don't know who could walk in.” the two nodded, feling like they were being reprimanded. “JunSu is back in the party, you can catch HyukJae and DongHae alone right now if you move quickly.”
“How did you know...?” YunHo asked, his eyes wide. Had they been talking that loudly?
“You're predictable.” HeeChul smiled sincerely at the boy. YunHo took Jae's hand in his and made for the door, but HeeChul raised his hand slightly, looking at Jae. “You go catch them, YunHo-yah... Pretty boy, you hang back for a second.” The leader hesitated, giving his Hyung a questioning look before smiling at Jae and leaving the two alone. Jae felt uneasy as he looked at the elder man,
“JaeJoong, you know just as well as I do about what kind of person YunHo is.” HeeChul said, getting straight to the point. “He is brave, he is trustworthy, he is good and, frankly, I think he is one of the greatest people I know. He is someone I cherish, and someone I trust with everything I am, everything I own, and my life entirely. You have power over him. You have incredible amounts of power over him. I have never seen him look at someone like he looks at you, but I assure you. YunHo doesn't crack, he doesn't show hints of weakness. He hides it all until he can't anymore. He will hold together his pain, his hurt and everything until it destroys him. Completely destroys him.” Jae frowned deeply,
“I love YunHo more than I value my own life...” he said,
“But you love him too much to let him go when you need to.” HeeChul said, knowingly.
“What?” Jae asked,
“The time will come, Jae. One day you won't be able to be together anymore. One day you will have to let him go, and he will love you enough to do what is best for you. You on the other hand... you couldn't do that. You love him too much to be able to see what is best for him, only able to see what is best for you.” Jae was taken aback, knowing the truth of the words.
“I'm never going to have to let him go.” Jae said, attempting to convince himself what he desperately needed to hear.
“And with that attitude he will be destroyed and it will be your fault.” HeeChul replied. “You are my dongsang, and I love you like I would love any of my dongsaengs. But if you destroy YunHo, I will not hesitate in destroying you.” Jae waited a second, letting the threat sink in.
“I love him...” he said, feeling panic rise inside of him. Would YunHo try and give him up? Would YunHo leave him under the pretence that it was what was best for them both? Jae stared at HeeChul in silence, taking a step back, before turning and running away from himself, and to where he knew YunHo's arms were waiting for him.
I am not the biggest fan of this chapter, to be honest, but I still hope you all enjoy it ^^ please comment, because I like to know people are reading this. If I don't think people are reading, it doesn't give me very much confidence.
I hope you enjoy!!
단 한 번만 한 번만 날 찾아봐 제발
- Blind by TRAX
“One, two, three, hello we are Dong bang Shin Ki.” the five young men said in complete unison, bowing low and waving a hand at the snapping cameras before them. As they heard their names called, they took the seats carefully set out in a perfectly straight line, waiting for their manager to call on the first question. A reporter stood as he was gestured at, a young woman sitting dutifully beside him, her fingers perched over the keyboard of her laptop, anticipating the teen's answers to whatever questions were to come. YunHo felt Jae's eyes on him as he answered questions, their proud leader talking for them as a group.
“Image seems to be of great importance for all of you, since you each have a very specific concept, have you ever felt the need to break free of the conceptual restraints on your image?” a journalist asked. Each member thought carefully, all knowing that the concept they were given was not anything that reflected their personalities. YunHo knew that, though each of the members were given a microphone, he was the only member supposed to make answers unless there was a question aimed directly at another member, though before he could answer, another reporter stood,
“YunHo-ssi, your concept is masculine, right?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow, when YunHo nodded he continued, “I find it so hard to believe that a group so fixed on image and concept would allow you to keep teeth like that. Why haven't you had them put right yet? Or are you doing it to boost the self esteem of your ugly fans?” YunHo was slightly taken aback by the rudeness. He spared a glance at the manager who looked slightly confused, how was this even related? It seemed to be nothing but a direct personal attack on YunHo's image. The leader raised a hand to his teeth, as if to stifle a cough and subtly covered his mouth, feeling suddenly self conscious. YooChun noticed his discomfort and immediately covered,
“We are still young, JunSu-yah, YunHo and JaeJoong Hyung-deul and I have only recently completed high school, where as ChangMin-ah still has two more years ahead of him. We continue to keep our boyish image as we are hardly men. We promise to work hard to approve our image as we grow.” the boy said, wanting to say anything that would distract the man from his dear Hyung.
“Yes, each member has their own imperfections. As we reach each one of our comebacks, we shall all make efforts to touch on all of these imperfections and work hard to approve.” Jae added, a defensive fire burning inside him. YunHo was perfect in every way, how dare someone make him feel below that? The reporter didn't look satisfied, but a young woman stood up, causing the man to take his seat. Jae felt himself be washed with relief as YunHo left the firing range, questions coming at them about their debut, their concept change from the cute and innocence of Hug, to the bad boy and danger of The Way U Are. Yet YunHo's hand barely moved from close to his mouth the entire time.
~
Jae sighed lazily, pushing his black hair from his eyes as he dropped his pants to the ground, stepping out of them and onto the cold tile of the bathroom floor.
“Hyung! Hurry up! JunSu-yah and YunHo-hyung still need to shower!” he heard YooChun call through the door. Jae made a noise in the affirmative as he turned the taps, letting the hot water spill over his body. The man didn't hear the door as it clicked shut, nor did he hear the soft whisper of cloth hitting the tile floor, yet the sound of the shower door being pulled open awoke his senses. The man's first instinct was to cover his naked body, but when his surprised eyes lay themselves on YunHo, his hands fell, a smile forming on his lips.
“What are you doing?” Jae asked, reaching up to cup the younger's right cheek, his thumb running softly against his full bottom lip.
“Conserving water.” YunHo replied, he smiled back at Jae, though the elder could see through it.
“What's the matter?” he whispered, moving closer to press his body against warm, wet skin. YunHo frowned, turning his face away towards the glass clouded in steam. “YunHo-yah...”
“Are my teeth really that bad?” he asked after a while, raising a hand to cover his mouth as he spoke. Jae frowned deeply, raising his arm to move that hand away.
“No. Everything about you is perfect.” Jae spoke in such a matter-of-fact tone that YunHo shook his head.
“You're the wrong person to ask.” he stated, his eyes holding nothing but nervousness. There was no confidence. Jae cupped his cheek again, gently turning YunHo's face back to face him,
“No I'm not. I am the right person to ask.” Jae was being serious. “Listen, YunHo. I love you more than I love anything, and in my eyes you are perfect beyond words. One journalists rude comments on your teeth does not change your perfection.”
“In your eyes.” YunHo repeated his words, his voice disbelieving. Jae sighed, pulling YunHo close and pressing their lips together. He let his tongue slip between YunHo's soft, full lips and run against the uneven surface of his jagged teeth. The leader pulled away and shook his head, ducking his hair underneath the jet of water above him, and shutting his lips together tightly. He felt as if he was pulling the group down, he felt like he wasn't as talented, wasn't as attractive and wasn't as popular as the other four members. He felt like the dead weight to the group.
“YunHo-yah, look at me.” Jae said softly. He pressed his body against the younger's in a desperate attempt to gain his attention. “YunHo, please. Do you remember, last year, when you were there when I needed someone to be? You told me it was okay to cry, you said that I should never be scared to let my emotions go. I think it's time for you to practice what you preach.”
“I can't.” was all the younger replied. “I need to stay strong because I'm the leader. If I lose it... If I lose it, what will the members think of me? How could I lead well if I cry? I cannot be weak!” YunHo was almost chanting a desperate mantra.
“YunHo, it's me. It's Jae... Your Jae. Your BooJae! Your Jae who loves you unconditionally, and who will hold you close until there are no tears left. Don't hold it in because it will drive you insane.” a hand was caressing a cheek,
“If I don't stay strong, who will?” tears were threatening to fall.
“I will be strong for the both of us. You just have to stay good... Good and pure. That's what you are, my perfect YunHo. You're capable of nothing but good and kindness. I will be strong for both of us, and I will protect your goodness.” words came like a soft summer breeze, full of hope, trust and comfort.
“You can't stay strong for both of us... it will wear you out...”
“Then we have YooChun-ah, JunSu-yah and little ChangMin-ah! We have HeeChul-hyung and DongHae-yah and HyukJae-yah. We have staff, we have our sisters, we have Cassiopeia. YunHo, you love a lot, and you love dearly. Never feel like you have to be strong for everyone you love, because we are the ones who have to help you.” Jae smiled softly as he saw a few tears fall and mix with the fresh, hot water dousing their naked bodies. YunHo was crying tears of stress, fear, exhaustion and frustration, and Jae was holding him just like he promised he would. “I mean it, YunHo. I will always be here for you, I will never let you down. Dong Bang Shin Ki will rule the world, we will win awards and we will own the industry, but what's more? We'll do it together. This is forever, you know. I promise you that we will reach amazing goals and triumphs together. Never feel alone, because this path is for the five of us together, and together we will stay until the end of time.”
And even though Jae knew he meant it, he couldn't help but feel like a liar.
Jae trailed off , his eyes trained on the dark sky he could see through the small windows. It was completely dark by now, must have been nearing 8pm. He felt like he had lied to himself for years, like he had been lying to YunHo the entire time.
“JaeJoong-nim?” MinJong's voice was almost silent, the trainee didn't want to frighten the elder out of his daze. Jae looked back to the boy, his expression was a mixture of nervous and worried as he began to chew on his lower lip.
“You remind me a bit of him, you know.” MinJong's eyes were wide at the confession. He hadn't expected that of all things. “You're terrified of the life you are embarking on... But I know that you're not only scared for yourself.” Jae's eyes were knowing. “You wanted to talk to me because you want to know if it always ends badly, don't you?”
“I...” the poor trainee was shocked by the sudden revelation of his ulterior motive.
“MinJong-ah... You wanted me to tell you the story of two men who held their love a secret, and who succeeded.” Jae sucked in a strong breath as he prepared to tell MinJong exactly what he didn't want to hear, but exactly what he needed to be told.. “I can't give you that.”
“You and YunHo...” the boy looked terrified. Jae just smiled sadly, looking down and breaking eye contact.
“Do you still want me to continue?” he asked.
“I want to know what happened.” MinJong's eyes were full of determination. Jae opened his mouth to continue speaking but paused, considering his words before he added,
“It's possible... There are couples who have done it.”
“There are?” MinJong's eyes were filled with new hope. It warmed Jae's heart. This boy obviously cared very much for whoever the other was. He needed to hear the hope that Jae could never give him,
“It was about two or so months after the release of The Way U Are. We were working on the first album and we barely had a moment to breathe, but our manager gave us a night off. He said we had to relax and catch up with those around us. We were idols, and we were busy, but he didn't want us to lose contact to the outside world...”
YunHo's smile was the biggest Jae had seen it in a long time, as he raised his glass of soju and clinked it against HeeChul's.
“To having famous friends!” HeeChul grinned, looking at the other trainees around him, all of whom laughed loudly,
“I should take a photo with you five and send it back to my parents!” Geng's smooth accent had become thicker under the influence of the alcohol.
“My sister would pee her pants if I told her I knew Park YooChun in real life.” HyukJae laughed. “I could have told her months ago, but seeing her fangirl over my best friends is far too entertaining.” as soon as HyukJae was finished, he reached over the table and high-fived JunSu.
“Still picking on her, I see, HyukJae?” YunHo laughed again, reaching out to flick HyukJae's forehead.
“Well now that JunSu has run off with his Hyungs, who else do I have?” the dancer pouted when he received a punch in the arm from his oldest friend.
“If JunHo was here he would hit you harder than I would!” JunSu said very knowingly of his dearest brother. Jae knew that he missed his twin a great deal,
“Are you kidding?” DongHae asked, a wide grin gracing his features, “If JunHo-hyung was here he'd be joining HyukJae!” everyone laughed again. Jae noticed ChangMin speaking quietly with another trainee that he recognised, but didn't know. YunHo sat back down in his seat, glancing over at the maknae and giving him a worried smile,
“ChangMin-ah, you okay?” he asked, reaching around the trainee to put a reassuring hand on the Maknae's shoulder. ChangMin smiled at nodded, “KiBum-ah will take care of you.” YunHo thumped the man beside him on the back, giving him a trusting smile.
“JunSu-yah... Will you come with us for a second?” Jae heard HyukJae whisper from beside him as DongHae rose to his feet. JunSu looked in between his two friends before nodding, and following them out of the room. Jae frowned, his eyes watching the men leaving. He was just about to stand and follow them, knowing that they would be up to no good, when HeeChul stopped him with a kick under the table.
“Let them go.” was all he said. The other trainees were all chatting happily as Jae cocked his eyebrow. He was about to reply when YunHo spoke,
“JaeJoong-ah.” he called. Jae looked up and made eye contact with the younger. “Can we speak for a second?” Jae frowned, but nodded anyway, getting to his feet and following the other out. As soon as the two were in a secluded area, YunHo faced him,
“I think we should tell HyukJae and DongHae.” he said, his eyebrows furrowed and his expression serious.
“Really?” Jae was slightly disbelieving. “Is that a good idea? A lot of people know, YunHo...”
“But they have been our friends for a long time. I know they'll accept us.” YunHo reasoned,
“But can we trust them not to tell anyone? And how can you be certain they wouldn't turn their backs on us?”
“Jae, what do you think they are doing right now?” YunHo asked, a cocky smile forming on his lips. Jae wanted to kiss that smile away.
“I think they are convincing JunSu to get involved with something childish and stupid. Their probably planning to prank us.”
“You know that neither of us believe that.” YunHo smirked. God damn it Jae wanted to kiss him. “We both know that HyukJae and DongHae are telling JunSu that they're in love, and we both know that JunSu won't care because he's already accepted us, why wouldn't he accept an older friend.”
“If we knew, he must have known far longer than us.” Jae smiled, feeling proud of his friend's perceptiveness.
“We can tell them.” YunHo assured him. Jae nodded, glancing around the hallway. The corridor of the dorms was empty other than the two of them. Jae smirked, leaning forward and pressing his lips against YunHo's for a brief but sincere kiss.
“Careful, boys, you don't want the wrong person to see that. You'd have to do a lot of explaining.” HeeChul's voice came again. The two lovers broke apart, looking at him, amazed.
“Hyung, I swear you need to wear a bell or something.” YunHo laughed, his arms not moving from around Jae. HeeChul smiled at the man, his heart warmed by the happiness in his eyes,
“Geng was going to follow me. You two are the ones who need bells.” he gave them a pointed look. “He wouldn't care, but others might. You don't know who could walk in.” the two nodded, feling like they were being reprimanded. “JunSu is back in the party, you can catch HyukJae and DongHae alone right now if you move quickly.”
“How did you know...?” YunHo asked, his eyes wide. Had they been talking that loudly?
“You're predictable.” HeeChul smiled sincerely at the boy. YunHo took Jae's hand in his and made for the door, but HeeChul raised his hand slightly, looking at Jae. “You go catch them, YunHo-yah... Pretty boy, you hang back for a second.” The leader hesitated, giving his Hyung a questioning look before smiling at Jae and leaving the two alone. Jae felt uneasy as he looked at the elder man,
“JaeJoong, you know just as well as I do about what kind of person YunHo is.” HeeChul said, getting straight to the point. “He is brave, he is trustworthy, he is good and, frankly, I think he is one of the greatest people I know. He is someone I cherish, and someone I trust with everything I am, everything I own, and my life entirely. You have power over him. You have incredible amounts of power over him. I have never seen him look at someone like he looks at you, but I assure you. YunHo doesn't crack, he doesn't show hints of weakness. He hides it all until he can't anymore. He will hold together his pain, his hurt and everything until it destroys him. Completely destroys him.” Jae frowned deeply,
“I love YunHo more than I value my own life...” he said,
“But you love him too much to let him go when you need to.” HeeChul said, knowingly.
“What?” Jae asked,
“The time will come, Jae. One day you won't be able to be together anymore. One day you will have to let him go, and he will love you enough to do what is best for you. You on the other hand... you couldn't do that. You love him too much to be able to see what is best for him, only able to see what is best for you.” Jae was taken aback, knowing the truth of the words.
“I'm never going to have to let him go.” Jae said, attempting to convince himself what he desperately needed to hear.
“And with that attitude he will be destroyed and it will be your fault.” HeeChul replied. “You are my dongsang, and I love you like I would love any of my dongsaengs. But if you destroy YunHo, I will not hesitate in destroying you.” Jae waited a second, letting the threat sink in.
“I love him...” he said, feeling panic rise inside of him. Would YunHo try and give him up? Would YunHo leave him under the pretence that it was what was best for them both? Jae stared at HeeChul in silence, taking a step back, before turning and running away from himself, and to where he knew YunHo's arms were waiting for him.