L Word - Season 6, episode 4
This weeks review will be brought to you by the little notes that I scribbled down as I watched the episode. It may make the whole thing less babble-y, but, there are 2 sides of A4 full of notes, so I can’t promise it’ll be short.
This episode opens at The Planet… in fact, the entire 1st page of my notes happen at The Planet… everyone’s forgotten how to move.
Tom, Max, Alice & Tasha are enjoying breakfast? Lunch? Mid-afternoon snack? Elevenses? Who the hell knows? When in walk Shane & Jenny. There’s no escape, these people are everywhere… but at least here they won’t be making ”Squirrel grunts and monkey squeals” Oh my god! Shane really does make monkey noises when she gets excited! That’s what the ‘little monkey’ comment was about! That’s just…. Disturbing.
Are Shenny ‘out’ now then? They seem not to be hiding their togetherness. How did that happen? When did that happen? Did they gather everyone together at The Planet a la Dana & Alice? Or did they just think, well, Alice knows so, chances are everyone knows? I might have liked to see that. Everyone pretending they didn’t already know & being terribly insincere.
Jenny is annoying. That is both a general observation, and an explanation of what’s going on in this opening. She pisses Max off by constantly referring to him as a ‘mother’ & ‘woman’. I guess he did tell everyone he’s pregnant then. That would have been an interesting conversation to see. Why couldn’t we have seen that? Everyone’s reactions would have been interesting.
Max runs away to cry, which Tom is completely baffled by. Has he never encountered crying before?
I’d like to note, that Max does not threaten to kill Jenny. He hates Jenny. He does not wish her dead.
After the credits…. We’re still at The Planet. I’d like to point out, that the first 20 or so minutes of this episode are completely devoid of any acting. It’s just people sat around speaking lines. Actually, I don’t think that this is really the final cut of the episode. I think they just filmed the first read-through on the set of The Planet & put it in the episode as it was. That’s probably why it feels so forced, there’s no natural, easy flow….
This is what conversations are like when I have them, with people I don’t know. No, that’s not true; I don’t have conversations with people I don’t know. This is what conversations are like when I’m forced to talk to people I don’t like. This isn’t really even conversation; it’s just people talking in the presence of other people.
Anyway, Bette & Tina have joined the read-through now & they’re going to Nevada. But, before we can find out why…. Jenny has an epiphany! If anyone else had just randomly blurted out ”Oh my god! I know who stole the negative.” when everyone else is in the middle of a conversation about something completely different, I would have commented on how insane that was…. But as it’s Jenny, I just accept it.
When is Jenny supposed to have heard William talking about burning one of his buildings down? Has she been anywhere near William since the wrap party?
How can these people be so casual about the loss of $19 million? That’s an insane amount of money.
Kelly’s there… *rolls eyes* Can we not just dispense with her? Kelly is annoying. Very annoying. & I wish she’d stop being so condescending. “So, this is your gay girl hang out? Very quaint.” Oh please, someone poke her in the eye!
Tasha sees her opportunity & gets us back to the original topic of TiBette’s trip to Nevada, to meet a potential birth mother.
Alice is very proud of Tasha for being social & gossiping… this would annoy me, but I think it’s like, payback for Tasha being so doubtful of Alice’s ability to be serious & stop that girl from killing herself last week. It’s like they’re improving themselves for each other. Alice is saving people’s lives, Tasha is gossiping - it’s an unbalanced trade off, but it seems to be working for them.
Now, apparently, Kelly being the straight girl who Bette kissed once in college wasn’t exciting enough, or didn’t feel like it might threaten Bette & Tina’s relationship enough… ‘Cos now, Bette almost killed herself over this woman?? Really? How random. That’s not the impression I got from their little reunion at the gallery 2 episodes ago.
How does Kit know this anyway? Wasn’t she on a drink & drug crazed hiatus during Bette’s college years? More to the point, how does Tina not know this? Have they never, even once, in their entire relationship, discussed their past heart aches? Do people not do that?
Oh, Dylan’s here too…. Seriously everything is happening at The Planet. Everything except for acting, or any kind of plot.
Dylan tricked Tina into meeting her by using a fake name… hey, Cherie Jaffe did that to Shane once. That ended very badly.
These people are sitting at a table with Jenny, and they’re commenting on the fact that Dylan’s insane???!!!
Tina looks really hot. I think Laurel Holloman’s been working out, her body is amazing. *Watches Tina walk over to Dylan a few times*
The next few minutes, are so uncomfortable & awkward, that I wish we could have stayed at The Planet for some more talking instead. Max & Tom are at a prenatal class. I can’t decide though, if they’re discussing birthing, or how to please your pregnant lover. It’s all kinds of awful and I think I could have lived without seeing this scene. Ever.
Why couldn’t we have had a birthing/sex tips class when Tina was pregnant? The first time, when she was with Bette… I think that would have been more fun. Bette & Tina could have shared many sideways glances & rolls of the eyes - like when they visited that sex therapist.
I think that scene only existed to bring us away from The Planet for two minutes, just for a small break, before taking us right back there.
Kelly & Bette are discussing art. Bette’s first love & art, all in one annoying little bundle. Bette must be in heaven? I think not. This is the awkward, uncomfortable reunion we should have had right from the start! It’s much more realistic.
Did they juts discuss Provocations? That was sooooo long ago. Are we bringing everything back around? Is this supposed to make us worry for Bette & Tina’s relationship? Think about it, the last time we encountered Provocations at a time when TiBette were trying to have a baby, Bette cheated on Tina.
It’s not quite clever enough to make me worry. This is x years later (5, if you go by Angie’s age; 3 & ½ ish, if you go by an actual, realistic passing of time), and Bette made a promise. A very sincere promise. And there’s no chance in Hell that Bette will cheat again.
Why does Dylan think that Tina would help her get back together with Helena? That seems so random.
Why does Bette keep wearing such awful tops? She offers to work with Kelly as her business partner at that boring little gallery that Tina didn’t enjoy. Did she just think that up on the spot? Should she not discuss it with Tina a little bit?
Why am I so bored?
Where did Dylan go? When did Helena appear? Why is Bette still talking to Kelly? Does time pass at different speeds depending on where in The Planet you’re sitting? When are we anyway? This is like watching a current episode of Lost, they’re all staying in the same place, but the island keeps moving through time. Except, on the L Word, there’s no useful flashes of white light to indicate time travel.
”Helena, what can we offer you in the way of protection?” Huh? Does Jenny work for the Mafia now? Who speaks like that? I love Alice’s face in reaction to that line.
Dylan’s production company is called “Do Ask, Do Tell” - huh? All last season Tasha kept banging on about ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’, now Dylan’s come along and her business name just dismisses that whole concept? And Tasha was the one who read it out too. Are we supposed to read something into this? Please dismiss everything that happened last season? Please dismiss Tasha’s entire storyline from last season? Please imagine that the complete opposite of Tasha’s storyline happened last season?
I’m reading far too much into everything. This is not BtVS, not everything is relevant. There are no clues about a fake sister arriving 2 seasons before it happens. Ilene Chaiken is not that clever. Nothing is relevant; nothing means anything; everything is just completely random and only is how it is ‘cos that’s the best Ilene could come up with at the time.
Jenny wants to set Helena up with Jodi?! Okay Jenny, if you like. I just feel as though I should placate her… like a small child. She’s being so random today… plus, I think she’s only had like, 4 lines, this entire time. This should be Jenny’s role, she should be the person who sits around saying nothing, and then suddenly blurts out something completely random & insane.
Why is everyone so desperate to set Helena up with someone? Has she become the irritating single friend? Everyone else is paired off & she’s all alone… like a 7th wheel (9th, if you count Tom & Max). Kit doesn’t count, obviously. She’s too old? Or too straight? Or something. She’s besotted with Sunset Boulevard anyway… the DJ, not the place. Maybe the place too, I don’t know.
Alice & Tasha want to set Helena up with Jamie - I told you to keep your eye on that one. Alice & Tasha are so obviously besotted with Jamie, ‘cos she’s “so rad” (why do they keep saying rad? Is it the 80’s again?). Tasha is so frikkin’ adorable when she’s all crush-y. :D
Oh, did you see that? Helena hid Dylan’s business card down her top. I missed that the 1st time around, so… that was relevant & significant.
Thank goodness for that, we’re no longer in The Planet. *Cheers & claps & celebrates.*
Unfortunately, we are in the house of Shenny. Fortunately, they are not kissing, at all.
Jenny has been reading self-help books, or watching too much daytime TV, I can’t decide which, and is insisting that she & Shane de-clutter their closets. Clearing out all of their skeletons or something. Only, Jenny is unwilling to get rid of anything - no, she gets rid of a striped jumper which I’m sure we’ve never seen her wear & something that reminds her of Tim.
She actually asks Shane to “tell me what represents a facet of my personality that I should just be getting rid of.” I’d be half tempted to say… okay, lets get rid of everything that makes you look psychotic. Actually, lets get rid of every part of your personality… apart from the part that randomly shouts out nonsense & the part that tells Alice that she should be doing cartoon voiceovers.
Actually, you know what? I think Shane should de-clutter the upstairs of Jenny’s closet. She’d find something very interesting to read up there.
Why does Jenny own art supplies? I thought she was a writer? She should give those to Bette, or let Angelica play with them - Bette desperately wants Angie to be an artist… why doesn’t that child have art supplies anyway? She’s 4 ½ (ish), she should be creating masterpieces by now.
The way Shane says ”Picasso you haven’t used these since we’ve been living together.” is really cute.
Anyway, from this scene, we are supposed to surmise that Jenny is completely unwilling to change, at all, for Shane.
Oh, Bette & Tina are fighting. No, please, don’t fight… go back to being happy & laughing & in love. This conflict would not be happening if Ilene Chaiken wasn’t writing the show Tina hadn’t been told that Bette almost killed herself over Kelly. Or maybe, if she’d been told that by Bette the first time Kelly was ever mentioned.
I understand why Bette is so frustrated by this now. I think Laurel Holloman is frustrated by having to regurgitate this same crap over & over. This horse, it has been flogged beyond death well into the afterlife. Bette has apologised, and apologised, and apologised some more. Bette has very earnestly, very sincerely promised that she will never cheat again; that she only has eyes for Tina & that nothing matters more to her than her family. Can we please, please, please move on now?
These people are going away for one night and Angie needs 3 books & 3 videos? Really? That’s a whole lot of reading and TV for one little girl. And Bette doesn’t think that it’s enough?! And what’s with the teddy? Is this just more petty little things that they can conflict over to try & convince us that Bette’s gonna cheat? ‘Cos I’m not buying it. It’s just annoying. Make it stop.
Back in Shenny-ville, Jenny is now de-cluttering Shane’s closet. And basically, Jenny wants to get rid of every facet of Shane’s personality. Or at least, she wants to throw away the reminders of every one of Shane’s past loves.
Oh, a t-shirt from Wax… I thought Wax had been forgotten.
No, don’t get rid of that top, that’s the season 1 promo top, I like that one.
Ha! Fuck you Jenny, you cannot erase Carmen. Carmen was significant and I’m so happy that Shane stood up to Jenny about not throwing her away.
Holy smokes! Angie exists. Look, she’s there. I wish Tina would just hold the child’s hand instead of pushing her where she needs to go.
How much luggage do these people need? One night? When I go away for one night do you know how much luggage I have? One medium sized backpack.
They’re still arguing about Kelly…. Angelica must be really fed up of listening to her mothers arguing. And yet, she’s such a happy little child.
Luckily, the argument ends with a very significant question (”Wasn’t there someone you wanted to kill yourself over in the last 15 years?”), with a very significant unspoken answer (”Only you.”) and a sweet little kiss. Aww.
Where are we now? What’s with the random Italian café? Where’s that from? Does Alice ever get off the phone? I didn’t make notes on this scene, must have been dull. Uhm, Alice thinks Jamie is weirdly perfect; Shane is kinda sweet the way she keeps reminding Alice about Helena. Then Jenny arrives, Alice gets annoyed & no Jenny, Shane wasn’t smoking. Has Jenny made Shane quit smoking?
That’s a scary looking dog. I love how Bette & Tina are both very obviously terrified by this dog, and yet Angie just giggles at it. Although the psychologist in me just wants to scream at Tina to stop projecting her fears onto Angelica. The little girl is not scared, put her on the ground & let her walk, rather than teaching her that the funny doggie (oh, someone taught Angie the difference between a dog & a rat) is actually very very scary.
Bette looks really ill. Was Jennifer Beals not well when this was filmed? She looks so pale & tired.
I’ve seen this scene so many times before, I have very little to say about the actual content, with regards to the storyline. Marcie seems sweet. I’m curious to know how the conversion on Bette & Tina’s house is gonna work out, are they gonna shove the baby upstairs? Are they gonna shove Angie upstairs? Or are they gonna hide upstairs & leave the kids downstairs to fend for themselves?
Oh yeah, Tina just made a movie with Nikki Stevens…. which nobody will ever get to see!
I’m half tempted to go see Beverley Hills Chihuahua, just ‘cos Bette mentions it. Angie loved it!
Marcie’s parents are idiots. We don’t like them… How has Marcie turned out so open minded & accepting when her parents clearly don’t approve of anything that’s not white trash?
Did Bette say that she adopted Angelica from birth? That’s funny, I’m sure that kid was 6 months old when they had their first visit from the adoption social worker.
I wish Bette had stopped her little ‘equal rights for all’ speech sooner. I can’t watch it without feeling so embarrassed for her. Why is Bette so shocked that Marcie’s parents think she’s straight? Be pissed off, by all means, but not shocked.
And why does it sound like the kids are killing each other in the background?
Oh, Alice is cooking with Jamie. Jamie’s kinda cute, but it feels wrong that Alice is flirting with her.
How is Alice broke already? Hasn’t she like just lost her job? Does she not have savings to live on?
Why does Alice not know how to crush nuts? That’s a very big scary looking knife she’s chopping nuts with.
Hit’s having a boy’s night. Lesbian club, boy’s night… whatever.
Look, didn’t I tell you Kit was besotted? She’s so obviously crazy about Sunset Boulevard. I’m so confused as to why Kit does not get that Sunset thinks she’s with Helena. Why are we having these random conversations where their wires keep getting completely crossed over? Is there a reason why we keep fuelling this misunderstanding? It seems silly.
Back to Alice’s… she has fireflies where the chart used to be. Not actual fireflies… a painting of fireflies, I kinda like it. But I preferred the chart. The chart was the whole premise of this entire show, wasn’t it?
Anyway, there’s an interesting Helena Vs Jamie back & forth thing about some random canyon. They’re both, independently, discussing the canyon, Jamie in the kitchen with Tasha; Helena in the hallway with Alice. Helena hates it, Jamie loves it. I can see what they were trying to do here…. Might have worked better with a split screen, rather than the backing & forthing. Also, might have been better if it wasn’t so dull. Differing opinions about a canyon? That’s stupid. ….What could these two people disagree one? What can we have to highlight how fundamentally different they are? Oh, a canyon! Yes, Helena hates the canyon and Jamie loves it. Perfect. Now nobody will ever want them to get together.
Look at Tasha…. She’s just so pretty in this episode. I love Tasha this season, I think I’m developing a major crush on her. Why couldn’t she have been like this from the start? I feel like I’ve missed out; like I could have been crushing on her all this time, but she was so dull & one dimensional before.
Back at Hit, is Tom picking up guys? That’s not nice. Your pregnant boyfriend is like, right there. Tom’s an ass. Was Tom always an ass? We didn’t see enough of him away from Jodi before now.
How would Max know what to do at a boy’s night? He was a lesbian before he met you. Well, he was a lesbian before he met Billy Blakey (was that his name?), then he was a straight guy… he had no interest in men ‘til he met Tom. Is he interested in men? Or just Tom? Does he identify as a gay man now? I have no idea about Max’s sexuality, or identity, or anything.
Why does Tom look petrified of this whole baby thing? It was his bloody idea for them to have the baby together. It’s a bit late in the day to be getting cold feet.
Aww, baby Leisha Hailey… she was so cute! Leisha, could you bring in a baby photo album, Tasha & Jamie are gonna “aww” over it. How sweet …& odd.
Oh, Helena’s kids got another mention. They’re in France? Since when? What? Why? Huh? O-kay. Well, I guess it does explain their absence.
Seems Helena is destined to always be the spare wheel… Not that she was the least bit interested anyway. She’s too preoccupied with thoughts of Dylan. Her solution? She’s gonna go tell Dylan to have dinner with her… was she threatening her? That was the most bizarre encounter ever. Helena was clearly thinking ’should I kiss her or kill her?’.
Jenny, is quite the busy little interior designer… she’s turned Shane’s bedroom into an office! She’s gotten rid of all of the furniture that was in there and moved new furniture in; and she’s done it all on her own, without Shane knowing anything about it.
Hey, where is Shane’s bed? Where’s the rest of Shane’s room? Did Jenny move the wall whilst she was arranging the furniture? I’m sure that room was twice the size when there was a bed in it.
Also, Jenny, that’s really fucked up. You can’t go changing someone’s room into an office without at least discussing it with them.
Shane is the only person in the world who can talk Jenny down when she gets psycho like this. ”Are you putting on the crazy Jenny show…?” Isn’t this whole entire programme ‘the crazy Jenny show’? Nobody else would get away with talking to Jenny like that.
Jenny is completely psychotic here, when she asks Shane if she loves her. Look at her eyes. That’s not a question, that’s a threat. You will love me, or I will tie you up and lock you in the attic with that sappy love letter from your ex.
Lots of things are happening in Alice’s kitchen today. Tasha’s flirting with Jamie now. How come I can watch Tasha flirt with Jamie, but it feels wrong when Alice does it?
Did you see that kiss? That possessive little kiss to Tasha’s shoulder, Alice is jealous! Tasha’s being a little bit bitchy… she had mixed feelings about that kiss. Her face kinda said ”what did you do that for?”.
I can’t decide what’s going on with these three. It all seems very complex. Tasha & Alice both adore Jamie; Alice gets jealous when Tasha flirts with Jamie (but, jealous of who?); Tasha gets bitchy when she’s flirting with Jamie & Alice interrupts. It’s so confusing.
Anyway, Alice is gonna organise a fund raising dance-off. I’ve heard about this… it kinda promises to be fun. I think it’s one of the very few storylines that I’ve not really seen clips of (aside from some split second snippets).
Back at Hit, Kit is still lamenting over how awful men are. She’s been doing this non-stop this entire season. I’m kinda sick of it… we get it Kit, you’re done with men. Can we move on?
Max is still living in the tool shed. He should look at getting a bigger place, or, a place that actually is a place, and not just a garage. You can’t bring a baby up in a tool shed Max. You don’t even have a real bed.
Why does Max keep apologising? Max has become season 1 Tina… Tom is quite clearly in the wrong here, and yet Max keeps on apologising. Max, you’re allowed to upset Tom, he’s an ass.
Heh, Bette & Tina are staying in a cheap motel. I guess they’re strapped for cash… what with Bette having no job just when they’re having that second storey built.
Bette’s lived such a sheltered life. Has she seriously never encountered any prejudice before? Does she not remember her dad being a bigoted homophobe?
Have Bette & Tina had no discussions about adoption? Why is Bette only just realising the pitfalls & discussing her concerns with Tina? These are the things you should consider and discuss before you even register with an adoption agency.
There’s so much tension… it’s uncomfortable. Thankfully, that knock at the door will end this tense discussion.
Did Jennifer Beals have a cold, or is that Bette’s fake mans’ voice for when someone knocks on your door at night when you’re staying in a cheap motel? It made me chuckle.
Marcie kinda rocks! How can Bette worry about that baby’s genetic imprint? Marcie’s great, & that’s who’s gene’s the kids will have. Plus, also Bette, you have your father’s genes, and well, uhm… see above re: bigoted homophobe.
This girl just said that she’s gonna give you a baby, Bette, could you crack a smile before she changes her mind?
Aww, they’re gonna have a baby boy! Yay! See how Tina looked round at Angie? That was so sweet. She’s finally found her maternal instinct. Actually, look at Tina’s face here, she looks so radiant… Laurel Holloman is beautiful.
We are now, travelling through time… see the sun rising & the people moving at super speed? it is now, the following morning.
I’ve seen this scene before, lots of times. It had plinky plonky piano music over it before. Who put this crappy dance beat over it?
My notes on this scene are quite literally - Love, love, love, love, love. TiBette love = Beauty. :D
This scene is my most favourite scene, quite possibly ever, in the history of this show. It’s so beautiful. Laurel Holloman is beautiful. Jennifer Beals is beautiful. Every move and word and expression is beautiful. I love Tina watching Bette sleep. I love watching Bette slowly wake up as Tina strokes her shoulder. I love watching as their hands intertwine. I love Bette’s face as she whispers ”We’re gonna have a baby”. I love how Bette casually plays with Tina's fingers. I love how Tina kisses Bette's forehead and then holds her so close. I love how Bette cocoons herself in Tina’s arms. I love Tina’s smile as she realises that she has absolutely everything that she could ever possibly have dreamed of.
It’s a shame we didn’t end on that lovely bit of love.
We need more crappy music & a little moment in the tool shed though. Max has woken up alone. How did Tom climb over him, clear out the closet - where the hell did the closet come from anyway? Was that always there? - & leave without waking him up?
Well, that’s Max screwed then, isn’t it?
Max, honey, cut your hair & shave that creature off your chin, and stop waddling. Good goodness you’re a mess.
I most definitely preferred the plinky plonky music. The dance beat kinda ruined the end of this episode for me.
Uhm, did I say that I’d babble less? I guess I’m incapable of not babbling.
This episode felt so long…. That’s why this review is so long. (That’s my story anyway).
Just one little question though, why was this episode called ‘Leaving Los Angeles’? Nobody left. Well, Bette & Tina left for one night. & Tom left, but he just left the shed, not LA.
Hopefully, next week’s episode will be more fun… & my review will be less babble-y.
This episode opens at The Planet… in fact, the entire 1st page of my notes happen at The Planet… everyone’s forgotten how to move.
Tom, Max, Alice & Tasha are enjoying breakfast? Lunch? Mid-afternoon snack? Elevenses? Who the hell knows? When in walk Shane & Jenny. There’s no escape, these people are everywhere… but at least here they won’t be making ”Squirrel grunts and monkey squeals” Oh my god! Shane really does make monkey noises when she gets excited! That’s what the ‘little monkey’ comment was about! That’s just…. Disturbing.
Are Shenny ‘out’ now then? They seem not to be hiding their togetherness. How did that happen? When did that happen? Did they gather everyone together at The Planet a la Dana & Alice? Or did they just think, well, Alice knows so, chances are everyone knows? I might have liked to see that. Everyone pretending they didn’t already know & being terribly insincere.
Jenny is annoying. That is both a general observation, and an explanation of what’s going on in this opening. She pisses Max off by constantly referring to him as a ‘mother’ & ‘woman’. I guess he did tell everyone he’s pregnant then. That would have been an interesting conversation to see. Why couldn’t we have seen that? Everyone’s reactions would have been interesting.
Max runs away to cry, which Tom is completely baffled by. Has he never encountered crying before?
I’d like to note, that Max does not threaten to kill Jenny. He hates Jenny. He does not wish her dead.
After the credits…. We’re still at The Planet. I’d like to point out, that the first 20 or so minutes of this episode are completely devoid of any acting. It’s just people sat around speaking lines. Actually, I don’t think that this is really the final cut of the episode. I think they just filmed the first read-through on the set of The Planet & put it in the episode as it was. That’s probably why it feels so forced, there’s no natural, easy flow….
This is what conversations are like when I have them, with people I don’t know. No, that’s not true; I don’t have conversations with people I don’t know. This is what conversations are like when I’m forced to talk to people I don’t like. This isn’t really even conversation; it’s just people talking in the presence of other people.
Anyway, Bette & Tina have joined the read-through now & they’re going to Nevada. But, before we can find out why…. Jenny has an epiphany! If anyone else had just randomly blurted out ”Oh my god! I know who stole the negative.” when everyone else is in the middle of a conversation about something completely different, I would have commented on how insane that was…. But as it’s Jenny, I just accept it.
When is Jenny supposed to have heard William talking about burning one of his buildings down? Has she been anywhere near William since the wrap party?
How can these people be so casual about the loss of $19 million? That’s an insane amount of money.
Kelly’s there… *rolls eyes* Can we not just dispense with her? Kelly is annoying. Very annoying. & I wish she’d stop being so condescending. “So, this is your gay girl hang out? Very quaint.” Oh please, someone poke her in the eye!
Tasha sees her opportunity & gets us back to the original topic of TiBette’s trip to Nevada, to meet a potential birth mother.
Alice is very proud of Tasha for being social & gossiping… this would annoy me, but I think it’s like, payback for Tasha being so doubtful of Alice’s ability to be serious & stop that girl from killing herself last week. It’s like they’re improving themselves for each other. Alice is saving people’s lives, Tasha is gossiping - it’s an unbalanced trade off, but it seems to be working for them.
Now, apparently, Kelly being the straight girl who Bette kissed once in college wasn’t exciting enough, or didn’t feel like it might threaten Bette & Tina’s relationship enough… ‘Cos now, Bette almost killed herself over this woman?? Really? How random. That’s not the impression I got from their little reunion at the gallery 2 episodes ago.
How does Kit know this anyway? Wasn’t she on a drink & drug crazed hiatus during Bette’s college years? More to the point, how does Tina not know this? Have they never, even once, in their entire relationship, discussed their past heart aches? Do people not do that?
Oh, Dylan’s here too…. Seriously everything is happening at The Planet. Everything except for acting, or any kind of plot.
Dylan tricked Tina into meeting her by using a fake name… hey, Cherie Jaffe did that to Shane once. That ended very badly.
These people are sitting at a table with Jenny, and they’re commenting on the fact that Dylan’s insane???!!!
Tina looks really hot. I think Laurel Holloman’s been working out, her body is amazing. *Watches Tina walk over to Dylan a few times*
The next few minutes, are so uncomfortable & awkward, that I wish we could have stayed at The Planet for some more talking instead. Max & Tom are at a prenatal class. I can’t decide though, if they’re discussing birthing, or how to please your pregnant lover. It’s all kinds of awful and I think I could have lived without seeing this scene. Ever.
Why couldn’t we have had a birthing/sex tips class when Tina was pregnant? The first time, when she was with Bette… I think that would have been more fun. Bette & Tina could have shared many sideways glances & rolls of the eyes - like when they visited that sex therapist.
I think that scene only existed to bring us away from The Planet for two minutes, just for a small break, before taking us right back there.
Kelly & Bette are discussing art. Bette’s first love & art, all in one annoying little bundle. Bette must be in heaven? I think not. This is the awkward, uncomfortable reunion we should have had right from the start! It’s much more realistic.
Did they juts discuss Provocations? That was sooooo long ago. Are we bringing everything back around? Is this supposed to make us worry for Bette & Tina’s relationship? Think about it, the last time we encountered Provocations at a time when TiBette were trying to have a baby, Bette cheated on Tina.
It’s not quite clever enough to make me worry. This is x years later (5, if you go by Angie’s age; 3 & ½ ish, if you go by an actual, realistic passing of time), and Bette made a promise. A very sincere promise. And there’s no chance in Hell that Bette will cheat again.
Why does Dylan think that Tina would help her get back together with Helena? That seems so random.
Why does Bette keep wearing such awful tops? She offers to work with Kelly as her business partner at that boring little gallery that Tina didn’t enjoy. Did she just think that up on the spot? Should she not discuss it with Tina a little bit?
Why am I so bored?
Where did Dylan go? When did Helena appear? Why is Bette still talking to Kelly? Does time pass at different speeds depending on where in The Planet you’re sitting? When are we anyway? This is like watching a current episode of Lost, they’re all staying in the same place, but the island keeps moving through time. Except, on the L Word, there’s no useful flashes of white light to indicate time travel.
”Helena, what can we offer you in the way of protection?” Huh? Does Jenny work for the Mafia now? Who speaks like that? I love Alice’s face in reaction to that line.
Dylan’s production company is called “Do Ask, Do Tell” - huh? All last season Tasha kept banging on about ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’, now Dylan’s come along and her business name just dismisses that whole concept? And Tasha was the one who read it out too. Are we supposed to read something into this? Please dismiss everything that happened last season? Please dismiss Tasha’s entire storyline from last season? Please imagine that the complete opposite of Tasha’s storyline happened last season?
I’m reading far too much into everything. This is not BtVS, not everything is relevant. There are no clues about a fake sister arriving 2 seasons before it happens. Ilene Chaiken is not that clever. Nothing is relevant; nothing means anything; everything is just completely random and only is how it is ‘cos that’s the best Ilene could come up with at the time.
Jenny wants to set Helena up with Jodi?! Okay Jenny, if you like. I just feel as though I should placate her… like a small child. She’s being so random today… plus, I think she’s only had like, 4 lines, this entire time. This should be Jenny’s role, she should be the person who sits around saying nothing, and then suddenly blurts out something completely random & insane.
Why is everyone so desperate to set Helena up with someone? Has she become the irritating single friend? Everyone else is paired off & she’s all alone… like a 7th wheel (9th, if you count Tom & Max). Kit doesn’t count, obviously. She’s too old? Or too straight? Or something. She’s besotted with Sunset Boulevard anyway… the DJ, not the place. Maybe the place too, I don’t know.
Alice & Tasha want to set Helena up with Jamie - I told you to keep your eye on that one. Alice & Tasha are so obviously besotted with Jamie, ‘cos she’s “so rad” (why do they keep saying rad? Is it the 80’s again?). Tasha is so frikkin’ adorable when she’s all crush-y. :D
Oh, did you see that? Helena hid Dylan’s business card down her top. I missed that the 1st time around, so… that was relevant & significant.
Thank goodness for that, we’re no longer in The Planet. *Cheers & claps & celebrates.*
Unfortunately, we are in the house of Shenny. Fortunately, they are not kissing, at all.
Jenny has been reading self-help books, or watching too much daytime TV, I can’t decide which, and is insisting that she & Shane de-clutter their closets. Clearing out all of their skeletons or something. Only, Jenny is unwilling to get rid of anything - no, she gets rid of a striped jumper which I’m sure we’ve never seen her wear & something that reminds her of Tim.
She actually asks Shane to “tell me what represents a facet of my personality that I should just be getting rid of.” I’d be half tempted to say… okay, lets get rid of everything that makes you look psychotic. Actually, lets get rid of every part of your personality… apart from the part that randomly shouts out nonsense & the part that tells Alice that she should be doing cartoon voiceovers.
Actually, you know what? I think Shane should de-clutter the upstairs of Jenny’s closet. She’d find something very interesting to read up there.
Why does Jenny own art supplies? I thought she was a writer? She should give those to Bette, or let Angelica play with them - Bette desperately wants Angie to be an artist… why doesn’t that child have art supplies anyway? She’s 4 ½ (ish), she should be creating masterpieces by now.
The way Shane says ”Picasso you haven’t used these since we’ve been living together.” is really cute.
Anyway, from this scene, we are supposed to surmise that Jenny is completely unwilling to change, at all, for Shane.
Oh, Bette & Tina are fighting. No, please, don’t fight… go back to being happy & laughing & in love. This conflict would not be happening if Ilene Chaiken wasn’t writing the show Tina hadn’t been told that Bette almost killed herself over Kelly. Or maybe, if she’d been told that by Bette the first time Kelly was ever mentioned.
I understand why Bette is so frustrated by this now. I think Laurel Holloman is frustrated by having to regurgitate this same crap over & over. This horse, it has been flogged beyond death well into the afterlife. Bette has apologised, and apologised, and apologised some more. Bette has very earnestly, very sincerely promised that she will never cheat again; that she only has eyes for Tina & that nothing matters more to her than her family. Can we please, please, please move on now?
These people are going away for one night and Angie needs 3 books & 3 videos? Really? That’s a whole lot of reading and TV for one little girl. And Bette doesn’t think that it’s enough?! And what’s with the teddy? Is this just more petty little things that they can conflict over to try & convince us that Bette’s gonna cheat? ‘Cos I’m not buying it. It’s just annoying. Make it stop.
Back in Shenny-ville, Jenny is now de-cluttering Shane’s closet. And basically, Jenny wants to get rid of every facet of Shane’s personality. Or at least, she wants to throw away the reminders of every one of Shane’s past loves.
Oh, a t-shirt from Wax… I thought Wax had been forgotten.
No, don’t get rid of that top, that’s the season 1 promo top, I like that one.
Ha! Fuck you Jenny, you cannot erase Carmen. Carmen was significant and I’m so happy that Shane stood up to Jenny about not throwing her away.
Holy smokes! Angie exists. Look, she’s there. I wish Tina would just hold the child’s hand instead of pushing her where she needs to go.
How much luggage do these people need? One night? When I go away for one night do you know how much luggage I have? One medium sized backpack.
They’re still arguing about Kelly…. Angelica must be really fed up of listening to her mothers arguing. And yet, she’s such a happy little child.
Luckily, the argument ends with a very significant question (”Wasn’t there someone you wanted to kill yourself over in the last 15 years?”), with a very significant unspoken answer (”Only you.”) and a sweet little kiss. Aww.
Where are we now? What’s with the random Italian café? Where’s that from? Does Alice ever get off the phone? I didn’t make notes on this scene, must have been dull. Uhm, Alice thinks Jamie is weirdly perfect; Shane is kinda sweet the way she keeps reminding Alice about Helena. Then Jenny arrives, Alice gets annoyed & no Jenny, Shane wasn’t smoking. Has Jenny made Shane quit smoking?
That’s a scary looking dog. I love how Bette & Tina are both very obviously terrified by this dog, and yet Angie just giggles at it. Although the psychologist in me just wants to scream at Tina to stop projecting her fears onto Angelica. The little girl is not scared, put her on the ground & let her walk, rather than teaching her that the funny doggie (oh, someone taught Angie the difference between a dog & a rat) is actually very very scary.
Bette looks really ill. Was Jennifer Beals not well when this was filmed? She looks so pale & tired.
I’ve seen this scene so many times before, I have very little to say about the actual content, with regards to the storyline. Marcie seems sweet. I’m curious to know how the conversion on Bette & Tina’s house is gonna work out, are they gonna shove the baby upstairs? Are they gonna shove Angie upstairs? Or are they gonna hide upstairs & leave the kids downstairs to fend for themselves?
Oh yeah, Tina just made a movie with Nikki Stevens…. which nobody will ever get to see!
I’m half tempted to go see Beverley Hills Chihuahua, just ‘cos Bette mentions it. Angie loved it!
Marcie’s parents are idiots. We don’t like them… How has Marcie turned out so open minded & accepting when her parents clearly don’t approve of anything that’s not white trash?
Did Bette say that she adopted Angelica from birth? That’s funny, I’m sure that kid was 6 months old when they had their first visit from the adoption social worker.
I wish Bette had stopped her little ‘equal rights for all’ speech sooner. I can’t watch it without feeling so embarrassed for her. Why is Bette so shocked that Marcie’s parents think she’s straight? Be pissed off, by all means, but not shocked.
And why does it sound like the kids are killing each other in the background?
Oh, Alice is cooking with Jamie. Jamie’s kinda cute, but it feels wrong that Alice is flirting with her.
How is Alice broke already? Hasn’t she like just lost her job? Does she not have savings to live on?
Why does Alice not know how to crush nuts? That’s a very big scary looking knife she’s chopping nuts with.
Hit’s having a boy’s night. Lesbian club, boy’s night… whatever.
Look, didn’t I tell you Kit was besotted? She’s so obviously crazy about Sunset Boulevard. I’m so confused as to why Kit does not get that Sunset thinks she’s with Helena. Why are we having these random conversations where their wires keep getting completely crossed over? Is there a reason why we keep fuelling this misunderstanding? It seems silly.
Back to Alice’s… she has fireflies where the chart used to be. Not actual fireflies… a painting of fireflies, I kinda like it. But I preferred the chart. The chart was the whole premise of this entire show, wasn’t it?
Anyway, there’s an interesting Helena Vs Jamie back & forth thing about some random canyon. They’re both, independently, discussing the canyon, Jamie in the kitchen with Tasha; Helena in the hallway with Alice. Helena hates it, Jamie loves it. I can see what they were trying to do here…. Might have worked better with a split screen, rather than the backing & forthing. Also, might have been better if it wasn’t so dull. Differing opinions about a canyon? That’s stupid. ….What could these two people disagree one? What can we have to highlight how fundamentally different they are? Oh, a canyon! Yes, Helena hates the canyon and Jamie loves it. Perfect. Now nobody will ever want them to get together.
Look at Tasha…. She’s just so pretty in this episode. I love Tasha this season, I think I’m developing a major crush on her. Why couldn’t she have been like this from the start? I feel like I’ve missed out; like I could have been crushing on her all this time, but she was so dull & one dimensional before.
Back at Hit, is Tom picking up guys? That’s not nice. Your pregnant boyfriend is like, right there. Tom’s an ass. Was Tom always an ass? We didn’t see enough of him away from Jodi before now.
How would Max know what to do at a boy’s night? He was a lesbian before he met you. Well, he was a lesbian before he met Billy Blakey (was that his name?), then he was a straight guy… he had no interest in men ‘til he met Tom. Is he interested in men? Or just Tom? Does he identify as a gay man now? I have no idea about Max’s sexuality, or identity, or anything.
Why does Tom look petrified of this whole baby thing? It was his bloody idea for them to have the baby together. It’s a bit late in the day to be getting cold feet.
Aww, baby Leisha Hailey… she was so cute! Leisha, could you bring in a baby photo album, Tasha & Jamie are gonna “aww” over it. How sweet …& odd.
Oh, Helena’s kids got another mention. They’re in France? Since when? What? Why? Huh? O-kay. Well, I guess it does explain their absence.
Seems Helena is destined to always be the spare wheel… Not that she was the least bit interested anyway. She’s too preoccupied with thoughts of Dylan. Her solution? She’s gonna go tell Dylan to have dinner with her… was she threatening her? That was the most bizarre encounter ever. Helena was clearly thinking ’should I kiss her or kill her?’.
Jenny, is quite the busy little interior designer… she’s turned Shane’s bedroom into an office! She’s gotten rid of all of the furniture that was in there and moved new furniture in; and she’s done it all on her own, without Shane knowing anything about it.
Hey, where is Shane’s bed? Where’s the rest of Shane’s room? Did Jenny move the wall whilst she was arranging the furniture? I’m sure that room was twice the size when there was a bed in it.
Also, Jenny, that’s really fucked up. You can’t go changing someone’s room into an office without at least discussing it with them.
Shane is the only person in the world who can talk Jenny down when she gets psycho like this. ”Are you putting on the crazy Jenny show…?” Isn’t this whole entire programme ‘the crazy Jenny show’? Nobody else would get away with talking to Jenny like that.
Jenny is completely psychotic here, when she asks Shane if she loves her. Look at her eyes. That’s not a question, that’s a threat. You will love me, or I will tie you up and lock you in the attic with that sappy love letter from your ex.
Lots of things are happening in Alice’s kitchen today. Tasha’s flirting with Jamie now. How come I can watch Tasha flirt with Jamie, but it feels wrong when Alice does it?
Did you see that kiss? That possessive little kiss to Tasha’s shoulder, Alice is jealous! Tasha’s being a little bit bitchy… she had mixed feelings about that kiss. Her face kinda said ”what did you do that for?”.
I can’t decide what’s going on with these three. It all seems very complex. Tasha & Alice both adore Jamie; Alice gets jealous when Tasha flirts with Jamie (but, jealous of who?); Tasha gets bitchy when she’s flirting with Jamie & Alice interrupts. It’s so confusing.
Anyway, Alice is gonna organise a fund raising dance-off. I’ve heard about this… it kinda promises to be fun. I think it’s one of the very few storylines that I’ve not really seen clips of (aside from some split second snippets).
Back at Hit, Kit is still lamenting over how awful men are. She’s been doing this non-stop this entire season. I’m kinda sick of it… we get it Kit, you’re done with men. Can we move on?
Max is still living in the tool shed. He should look at getting a bigger place, or, a place that actually is a place, and not just a garage. You can’t bring a baby up in a tool shed Max. You don’t even have a real bed.
Why does Max keep apologising? Max has become season 1 Tina… Tom is quite clearly in the wrong here, and yet Max keeps on apologising. Max, you’re allowed to upset Tom, he’s an ass.
Heh, Bette & Tina are staying in a cheap motel. I guess they’re strapped for cash… what with Bette having no job just when they’re having that second storey built.
Bette’s lived such a sheltered life. Has she seriously never encountered any prejudice before? Does she not remember her dad being a bigoted homophobe?
Have Bette & Tina had no discussions about adoption? Why is Bette only just realising the pitfalls & discussing her concerns with Tina? These are the things you should consider and discuss before you even register with an adoption agency.
There’s so much tension… it’s uncomfortable. Thankfully, that knock at the door will end this tense discussion.
Did Jennifer Beals have a cold, or is that Bette’s fake mans’ voice for when someone knocks on your door at night when you’re staying in a cheap motel? It made me chuckle.
Marcie kinda rocks! How can Bette worry about that baby’s genetic imprint? Marcie’s great, & that’s who’s gene’s the kids will have. Plus, also Bette, you have your father’s genes, and well, uhm… see above re: bigoted homophobe.
This girl just said that she’s gonna give you a baby, Bette, could you crack a smile before she changes her mind?
Aww, they’re gonna have a baby boy! Yay! See how Tina looked round at Angie? That was so sweet. She’s finally found her maternal instinct. Actually, look at Tina’s face here, she looks so radiant… Laurel Holloman is beautiful.
We are now, travelling through time… see the sun rising & the people moving at super speed? it is now, the following morning.
I’ve seen this scene before, lots of times. It had plinky plonky piano music over it before. Who put this crappy dance beat over it?
My notes on this scene are quite literally - Love, love, love, love, love. TiBette love = Beauty. :D
This scene is my most favourite scene, quite possibly ever, in the history of this show. It’s so beautiful. Laurel Holloman is beautiful. Jennifer Beals is beautiful. Every move and word and expression is beautiful. I love Tina watching Bette sleep. I love watching Bette slowly wake up as Tina strokes her shoulder. I love watching as their hands intertwine. I love Bette’s face as she whispers ”We’re gonna have a baby”. I love how Bette casually plays with Tina's fingers. I love how Tina kisses Bette's forehead and then holds her so close. I love how Bette cocoons herself in Tina’s arms. I love Tina’s smile as she realises that she has absolutely everything that she could ever possibly have dreamed of.
It’s a shame we didn’t end on that lovely bit of love.
We need more crappy music & a little moment in the tool shed though. Max has woken up alone. How did Tom climb over him, clear out the closet - where the hell did the closet come from anyway? Was that always there? - & leave without waking him up?
Well, that’s Max screwed then, isn’t it?
Max, honey, cut your hair & shave that creature off your chin, and stop waddling. Good goodness you’re a mess.
I most definitely preferred the plinky plonky music. The dance beat kinda ruined the end of this episode for me.
Uhm, did I say that I’d babble less? I guess I’m incapable of not babbling.
This episode felt so long…. That’s why this review is so long. (That’s my story anyway).
Just one little question though, why was this episode called ‘Leaving Los Angeles’? Nobody left. Well, Bette & Tina left for one night. & Tom left, but he just left the shed, not LA.
Hopefully, next week’s episode will be more fun… & my review will be less babble-y.