Ahem.

[ziggy1278]

Love Actually is a terrible, horrible movie, and someday I will write an epic 10 page essay on why this is a fact, not an opinion (I will release this essay on the same day I release my other, highly anticipated essay, "Why Transformers Sucks No Matter What Your Friends or Loved Ones Tell You

Comments

[jlh]

I find that surprising. I'm pretty sure it was there when I saw it on Bravo a few weeks ago. Ali has the DVD and was playing it while I was writing something or other, and I think it was there, but I'll have to check.

Now, I've heard the short version of Transformers-I mean, there is a post of yours about that-and while I could think of plenty of objectionable things about Love Actually, I wish to hear what you hate about it. Can you give me the abstract of this essay? I don't love it, but then I find all of Richard Curtis's original romantic comedies to be rather tiresome.

[ziggy1278]

It was super super weird - and actually sortof brilliant. If you were to mute the TV during the whole thing, not only is it quite obvious what the theme is based on the airport montage, it raises the move from 2 to 3 stars. Out of 10.

The short version: It is a big long vaguely connected series of drabblefics. Bad drabblefics, actually. The kind that would make you gag if they had Buffy in them. There is no depth. It is shallow shallow shallow. And manipulative. And transparent. And is therefore ironic, because it actually has NOTHING to do about what love "actually" is. And the best part is the naked stand-ins. I want to see an entire movie about them. The end.

Okay maybe I will not write the essay now...

[jlh]

All of his movies are manipulative. "I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love me"? Come on. And there always seem to be frantic chase scenes at the end. Why

[ziggy1278]

I mean, I get it. I am not a robot. My heart swells with the music as the little boy bolts through the airport to tell the ungodly cool little girl (can we say mulatto anymore? what is the term now? i always forget. please don't make me say "person of mixed race.") that he loooooves her. But that's just the thing. I think I could make your heart swell too with a story about a guy whose wife dies, and the tiny, perfectly featured stepson who learns to play drums in a week to tell the girl he looooves that he looooves her, but then she leaves before he can get the courage to talk to her and the dad has to drive him to the airport to distract the guards because he is a GOOD DAD AND HE LOVES HIS STEPSON. CRY DAMMIT! OMG LOOK IT's CLAUDIA SCHIFFER!

The movie should be called "An elaborate set of dominoes all designed to make you cry at the end, actually."

[calloocallay]

You mean transformers the recent live action movie, don't you?

[ziggy1278]

Yes. The movie. I loved and was raised on the cartoon. I really should have been more specific there.

[wwomant]

It had such a great cast, I was disappointed that it wasn't better. I thought they should have made a movie about Collin Firth and his love interest and scrapped all the rest. Particularly Liam Neeson and his yucky dad character.

[ziggy1278]

Yeah any one of the stories could have been developed into something mildly representative of actual love, but instead they went for the feel-good vignettes... with one slightly sad one thrown in for "realism."

*pukes*

[wwomant]

It's like it wanted to be Magnolia or something...

[siegga]

you wrote this whole post just to use the word 'drabblefics.' brilliant.

[ziggy1278]

You are, as usual, correct.

[siegga]

i LOVE being right. love it. too much so :) in fact i talk way too much in hopes that i'm right about stuff a good 75% of the time. usually this is not a good tactic.

[siegga]

i didn't loooooove Love Actually either. It was a blip on the screen. i dont even remember it hardly. oh wait, i DO remember the crazy sex stand ins... was that the same movie? im confused.