Who would you fight?
The Universe
I was discussing with Dreya an unrelated topic, and it came up that, when dealing with the Forces that Guide the Universe, my preference would be to start a fight with them, and figure out the consequences later. She opined that this must be a guy thing, as her Boy Toy has the same rough outlook. And it clearly does have to be some sort of widespread disease; say "I am Jack's complete lack of surprise" in a room with any number of 20 and 30 something guys, and watch what happens.
After a bit more discussion I realized that I do get cravings to fight. Having had five cigarettes and 10 or so cigars in my entire life, I occasionally get nicotine cravings. I much more often get a craving to hit and get hit. The Meds help with that, a lot, but clearly there's something more addictive than nicotine. Adrenaline? I don't jump out of perfectly good airplanes, or bungee jump, or play chicken with trains, so I don't know that it's simple adrenaline junkie-ism. But damn, sometimes I find myself thinking about the feel of a fist on flesh the way I expect ex-smokers imagine the feel of smoke drawing into their lungs.
I've often said that I am descended not from the monkeys who ran away quickly and escaped the leopards, but from the monkeys who said 'fuck that shit', raised two fists, and snarled back at the charging cat. I've also often said that my strategy in a fight is not to seek victory, but to make my opponent hurt so much they regret fighting me. I don't necessarily crave victory. Maybe the visceral reward of the *cough*cough* or so real fights I've been in has just been the fight. Maybe my monkey brain feels it's achieved its purpose (well, half of its purpose) in the fight.
Maybe the thought of fighting the entire universe gives the monkey brain visions of ultimate fulfillment of its purpose.
Damn I'm glad I'm medicated, and have health insurance.
I was discussing with Dreya an unrelated topic, and it came up that, when dealing with the Forces that Guide the Universe, my preference would be to start a fight with them, and figure out the consequences later. She opined that this must be a guy thing, as her Boy Toy has the same rough outlook. And it clearly does have to be some sort of widespread disease; say "I am Jack's complete lack of surprise" in a room with any number of 20 and 30 something guys, and watch what happens.
After a bit more discussion I realized that I do get cravings to fight. Having had five cigarettes and 10 or so cigars in my entire life, I occasionally get nicotine cravings. I much more often get a craving to hit and get hit. The Meds help with that, a lot, but clearly there's something more addictive than nicotine. Adrenaline? I don't jump out of perfectly good airplanes, or bungee jump, or play chicken with trains, so I don't know that it's simple adrenaline junkie-ism. But damn, sometimes I find myself thinking about the feel of a fist on flesh the way I expect ex-smokers imagine the feel of smoke drawing into their lungs.
I've often said that I am descended not from the monkeys who ran away quickly and escaped the leopards, but from the monkeys who said 'fuck that shit', raised two fists, and snarled back at the charging cat. I've also often said that my strategy in a fight is not to seek victory, but to make my opponent hurt so much they regret fighting me. I don't necessarily crave victory. Maybe the visceral reward of the *cough*cough* or so real fights I've been in has just been the fight. Maybe my monkey brain feels it's achieved its purpose (well, half of its purpose) in the fight.
Maybe the thought of fighting the entire universe gives the monkey brain visions of ultimate fulfillment of its purpose.
Damn I'm glad I'm medicated, and have health insurance.