catch up I guess
10 things about me right now
About me right now
1. I am 33 yrs old
2. I am currently on 2 weeks holiday from my job at Canterbury Leagues
3. I am currently sick with a slight cold.....did I get this from the weather or did I catch if from Anfey
4. Anfey.....this is my boyfriend....the man I have always dreamt I would have and the man I am totally and completely in love with. We have been together for 7months now
5. I just helped my brother Jason and his fiancee Renee move from Baulkham Hills to Chester Hill......I think they have a thing for suburbs named Hill....they also once lived in Beverly Hills
6. My parents Chook and Muzza are going to be leaving our childhood home and moving soon.....I grew up in the same house Muzza grew up in Yagoona West....they will be moving to Bass Hill....another Hill maybe I should change my suburb to Belmore Hills
7. I live in Belmore....not Hills.....with my work mate Henry and my baby girl Miss Isis
8. I spend most my time between my place and Anfey's place in Strathfield.....no Hill either....perhaps we ain't classy enough for a Hills address.
9. Anfey is studying Policing this year and will become an officer sometime at the end of the year.....I am so proud of him just now for doing his first major assignment an essay which he hasnt had to write one since high school.
10. Tomorrow I will be visiting my best friend Rahni and her kids my nephew Iszak (starfish) and my neice Mali (SPC2) also her mum my aunty Jeanne.
having a slight bit of worry at the moment it is now 1124pm and Anfey has to have his essay submitted by 1159pm and he is still writing it, I can sense he is strugglling and I want so much to go in and help him but I can not cause I dont know the subject and also this is something he needs to do for himself, I feel guilty though because he had planned to do alot of the research over the weekend and I kept him busy. I feel so bad and feel like crying cause he is hurting or struggling and I cant help him. I never experienced this love stuff before with anyone and I didnt know how much I would hurt if they hurt.
How do people stand back and let their loved ones do things by themselves even if they may fail at it when all you want to do is help them out.
Ok so the cut off deadline has come and he hasnt got his essay in, he is still writing it, i feel so bad my gut is wrenching and I feel like I wanna vomit cause I cant help him and I feel like if I had just pushed him the other day to get up and do the essay he could have had it in by now but I let him talk me into sleeping in and having a relaxing day but I need to be strong and force him now I guess.
ok he just came and sat at my feet cuddled into my arms and cried out of frustration I guess that he feels he cant do this essay. he says everything he wants to say is already been said in the texts and he cant find a way of putting it in his own words. I told him that he needed to calm down take deep breathes and to relax he is just scared its his first big assignment and he is freaking out, he is going back over all his work and rewriting it all again and then double checking it and rewriting it again he is double guessing himself and needs to stop it. I told him the best way is to stop, calm down and then go back to it, save what he has and then start afresh page and write it as if he had to explain it to me in blonde terms, simpler terms to what the text is telling him then write that down, then go over it and just make it smarter words again. it seems silly to do and it may not work but atleast it will get him back in there and thinking again, he can do this! I know he can, he knows his work he has done all the research and study he is just having doubts about his writing of it.
it broke my heart to see him sit there crying over his selfdoubt and I felt just like crying myself but I didnt cause that certainly wouldnt help. I just hugged him calmed him down and got him back up and on it again. I had to push asidse my upset feelings to be strong for him and I hope I was able to do that convincing enough. I love him so much and I hope I can be half the strong person he needs right now. plus its already late now so he needs to go in there put a basis down for it then leave it for tonight then go back to it tomorrow after work. keep going over it now wont help it will just hinder him.
I wish I could do more but I dont know what he needs me to do apart from be here to listen and hug it better.