Fight the Foo!
It's a Tuesday, you have nothing planned, a major band is coming to town, but you don't feel like dropping $40-60 to hear alternative rock; what do you do?
I don't know how it started, but my friends & I have decided that protesting strange, un-protestable ideas is high amusement. Our only successful mission was last October, when we spent 15 minutes of a Saturday protesting Sweetest Day. That was fun, but hardly visible, so we've been on the lookout for something more public.
Thus, when I found out the Foo Fighters were coming to town, I sent out a quick email based on the concept that we protest, but miss the point completely.
Most of our signs were based off the principle that we either needed to A) stop fighting foo or B) destroy all Foo. This means that there were always two opinions, none of which made any sense.
We spent most of the time spouting improvised chants ("Save the foo! Foo have feelings too!") or "facts" about foo ("Foo is our most valuable natural resource! After oil! Possibly tied with children.")
Naturally, we were a curiosity to all passers-by. Most of them were fairly confused; we got a lot of "Why do you hate the Foo Fighters?" or "What are you protesting?" When I told them my foo facts ("Dave Grohl is responsible for the destruction of 5000 foo per year!") they tended to ask "Do you even know what a foo fighter is?"
That was a fun question to shoot back. A couple people admitted to not not knowing what foo is ("We should embrace the foo! Don't fight what you don't understand!") but a lot told me the technical definition of a foo fighter (a UFO.) Most of the time, I turned the UFO thing into the former point ("Don't fight it!") You can see how this got confusing, fast.
Our circular logic was popular amongst the smoking area outside the arena. Some comments I received:
"You know, if I was holding a posterboard, I'd understand what I was talking about first." (This was fairly common. My retort: "No, YOU don't understand what I'm talking about!")
1: "You need a girlfriend"
Z: "Yes, but that is not the crux of my argument"
2: "You have too much free time"
Z & C: "Yes, but that's not our point!"
3: "Have you ever had sex before?"
Z: "Yes, several times... with myself."
(The guy in blue asked me the last one. He was one of the few bystanders who "got" it, but it took some time. I think that made him my favorite; he even made a few clumsy suggestions for Def Lepperd signs ("'Pour Some Sugar on Me' is the best stripper song!") and agreed to take a picture where he was disagreeing with my excellent point.)
So, yeah, I took it upon myself to confirm people's existing beliefs to get them to support me, somehow ("Foo is why we're in Iraq!")
I brought up Iraq to those guys, and they collectively said something like "I'll fight anyone who isn't Republican!" and "Yeah, believe in change? More like 'Believe in changing Iraq to the stone age!' I want to bomb Iraq so much it turns to glass!" They were really drunk, and it was really uncomfortable. But they signed the petition, so whatever.
(They didn't sign until I forged Dave Grohl's signature though. I think they gave me shit about forgery, then said it was awesome, then laid into everything Democratic. Strange crew.)
Chris collected most of the signatures. Highlights include "Support the foo - and the troops," "Pro-non-enemy UFOs," "Jack Me Off" and "Fuck Yourself."
In the end, nothing made sense, and every argument centered around circuitous logic, which we made up on the spot. It was pretty great.
(The cops were ok with us. One asked what my cause was, because he doesn't know much about the Foo Fighters. I casually explained that we were doing this to amuse ourselves, and everyone was happy.)
I don't know how it started, but my friends & I have decided that protesting strange, un-protestable ideas is high amusement. Our only successful mission was last October, when we spent 15 minutes of a Saturday protesting Sweetest Day. That was fun, but hardly visible, so we've been on the lookout for something more public.
Thus, when I found out the Foo Fighters were coming to town, I sent out a quick email based on the concept that we protest, but miss the point completely.
Most of our signs were based off the principle that we either needed to A) stop fighting foo or B) destroy all Foo. This means that there were always two opinions, none of which made any sense.
We spent most of the time spouting improvised chants ("Save the foo! Foo have feelings too!") or "facts" about foo ("Foo is our most valuable natural resource! After oil! Possibly tied with children.")
Naturally, we were a curiosity to all passers-by. Most of them were fairly confused; we got a lot of "Why do you hate the Foo Fighters?" or "What are you protesting?" When I told them my foo facts ("Dave Grohl is responsible for the destruction of 5000 foo per year!") they tended to ask "Do you even know what a foo fighter is?"
That was a fun question to shoot back. A couple people admitted to not not knowing what foo is ("We should embrace the foo! Don't fight what you don't understand!") but a lot told me the technical definition of a foo fighter (a UFO.) Most of the time, I turned the UFO thing into the former point ("Don't fight it!") You can see how this got confusing, fast.
Our circular logic was popular amongst the smoking area outside the arena. Some comments I received:
"You know, if I was holding a posterboard, I'd understand what I was talking about first." (This was fairly common. My retort: "No, YOU don't understand what I'm talking about!")
1: "You need a girlfriend"
Z: "Yes, but that is not the crux of my argument"
2: "You have too much free time"
Z & C: "Yes, but that's not our point!"
3: "Have you ever had sex before?"
Z: "Yes, several times... with myself."
(The guy in blue asked me the last one. He was one of the few bystanders who "got" it, but it took some time. I think that made him my favorite; he even made a few clumsy suggestions for Def Lepperd signs ("'Pour Some Sugar on Me' is the best stripper song!") and agreed to take a picture where he was disagreeing with my excellent point.)
So, yeah, I took it upon myself to confirm people's existing beliefs to get them to support me, somehow ("Foo is why we're in Iraq!")
I brought up Iraq to those guys, and they collectively said something like "I'll fight anyone who isn't Republican!" and "Yeah, believe in change? More like 'Believe in changing Iraq to the stone age!' I want to bomb Iraq so much it turns to glass!" They were really drunk, and it was really uncomfortable. But they signed the petition, so whatever.
(They didn't sign until I forged Dave Grohl's signature though. I think they gave me shit about forgery, then said it was awesome, then laid into everything Democratic. Strange crew.)
Chris collected most of the signatures. Highlights include "Support the foo - and the troops," "Pro-non-enemy UFOs," "Jack Me Off" and "Fuck Yourself."
In the end, nothing made sense, and every argument centered around circuitous logic, which we made up on the spot. It was pretty great.
(The cops were ok with us. One asked what my cause was, because he doesn't know much about the Foo Fighters. I casually explained that we were doing this to amuse ourselves, and everyone was happy.)