i can't believe i actually wrote this ( Read more... )

i guess these causes of mine come into conflict with the relationships i have with people i really care about. many people think my ideas are too extreme, or "idealistic." that in this world, nothing i ever do will put a stop to the things i want to stop. maybe they're right. but it makes me hate the world because i don't seem to have a place in a ( Read more... )

social awareness, you ruined me. you really did. i'm not being facetious. i used to not care about politics, global problems, the environment, human trafficking, prostitution, people's rights (of all genders and classes), child labor, the negative effects of capitalism. now these issues eat at my mind every day. and when i try to unload these ( Read more... )

new laptop, new start...? let's hope for good days ahead.

music is my time machine. if i turn up the volume and shut my eyes tight, i can fly back to a specific moment (or a few thematically-related ones spliced together) and hold it in my grasp for just a few seconds, enough to "become" my former self and vividly experience it again. it's a beautiful, though often painful, phenomenon. tastes and smells ( Read more... )

i want to be alone! but i'm also lonely. i need to cry... i'm going crazy. i don't know any of the right things to say. i need to break free from this body. the anxiety and feeling of otherness in a supposedly familiar place is killing me. i can only calm down when i'm with a certain person... but that reality crumbled two days ago. how can i ( Read more... )

i'm in a mood where i'd like to go somewhere far, far away from strangers and friends, the top of a desolate hill maybe, and scream and cry my nerves loose. my brain is taut and on the brink of bursting from this pent-up anxiety, but where am i to find an appropriate haven safe from the eyes and ears of those that inadvertently drive me to madness ( Read more... )

i love when inspiration strikes me. i don't know if this method of operation--working from pure inspiration--is "old school," doesn't exist in the postmodern time, or, i fear, is merely a product of my imagination, but what really fuels my work is the introduction of novel experiences and conversations with interesting people that provide me with a ( Read more... )

must. write. PAPAR!!!

why do i feel trapped by the goals i set for myself? i took on two research-intensive classes (one of them an independent study, meaning that i set my own parameters and develop a paper out of my own interests) knowing that i would have my work cut out for me this quarter, but now, when push comes to shove, i don't feel like writing anything. ( Read more... )