(Untitled)

[zodiacmg]

I find it difficult
to stand on one leg
for I can learn
but I cannot
yet
am I ready to
stand on
our own
two legs?

can i give my ribs?

I'm not quite sure what happened to my mind... perhaps sleep would improve things...

Comments

[offside7]

I totally dig the biblical imagery. However, it gives your poem an almost... romantic air. I dunno. That's how I read it. I guess you could have something totally different in mind.

[zodiacmg]

if you are refering to the standing on one leg as a reference to the drash about "teaching Torah while standing on one leg" - then yes, that is partially what i had in mind... if it is something else, let me know.

[offside7]

Actually, I was referring to the last line, 'can I give my ribs?' which sounds like a reference to Eve's creation, no?

[debka_notion]

I'm particularly interested in your change from one person on one leg to the plural both for teh two legs but also for the pronoun. I'm not sure I see the point of the change, but it hints at all sorts of exciting possibilities.

[zodiacmg]

the pronoun change was intentional (intentional means on purpose, right?)

[debka_notion]

It does indeed mean on purpose. I figured it was intentional, I was hoping for some illumination on the reason for the choice.

[zodiacmg]

well... simply that i would no longer be standing alone