002 ♌ [ video ]

[braverider]

[ It had been nearly two weeks now since he'd lost track of Aerith. At first he thought she might have simply gone missing; one of the Twelve's tricks or something like that. He'd heard other stories over the network of people disappearing for some time and popping up again later, but he couldn't help but feel this was different. More permanent.

Comments

♡VIDEO.

[freed]

I do not think it is a silly or impertinent question. Grief is a curious thing, isn't it?

[that being said, he isn't going to jump into the answer immediately. he was told his friends "ran away" as a child and never quite understood what that denoted, and the rest of his losses were either willful or not matters he wanted to give a lot of thought to.]

[braverider]

Grief, huh? [ is that what this feeling was? ...heh, yeah, there was probably no better way to put it. ] It's a pain.

[ an important one, but a pain all the same. ]

[freed]

I cannot imagine what it must be like.

[braverider]

You just feel... regret.

[freed]

I see...

[he can understand to a degree.]

It is very difficult to find closure when the person you wish to speak with is no longer with you, isn't it? Is it impossible?

[braverider]

No, it's possible. [ others have, haven't they? to varying degrees. ] It's just never been something I'm good at.

[freed]

I think I can sympathize. Truthfully, the idea of never seeing someone I care about ever again is overwhelming and scary to me. Even though it is a reality I must consider now that I've been taken to Zodion... I don't want to face it.

[braverider]

Cherish what you have and the time you're given. [ ...advice he should probably try to follow more himself. ] There's no point in worrying about it until it happens, and then... [ then what? he just goes silent, not sure how to finish that thought. ]

[freed]

And then...?

[he isn't sure how to finish that sentence himself. he isn't quite sure how to even begin formulating a way to deal with such a thing.]

It sounds so simple in theory; just face reality and move on. There is little point to clinging to that which you cannot change, and yet...

[a shake of his head. N never was very good at accepting the unchangeable, the uncontrollable.]

[braverider]

Moving on is harder than standing still. They wouldn't be regrets if they were things you could simply give up.

[ cloud is just as bad. when he has a goal, a purpose, a motive... he can move forward and push the past to the side. but when he's left to his thoughts, that's when the trouble starts. ]

That's what makes them so troublesome. Why you need to be careful and not make mistakes in the first place.

[freed]

So trifling... Moving forward and making sure one doesn't make mistakes all the while... It seems difficult to me.

[or rather, it has been difficult for him. N can only do one or the other it seems. he can relate on some level, which is why his stay in zodion has been both a blessing and a curse. he doesn't have to face the burden of his mistakes here (yet), but even he's starting to realize that ignoring one's mistakes doesn't absolve them of their crime.

a sigh.]

I suppose I'm just more naive than I thought.

[braverider]

[ that's a strange thing to hear, but... ] Most people don't realize that. Or admit it. [ while cloud is all to quick to find fault with himself whenever something goes wrong, acknowledging and recognizing his flaws is the next step he's never been so great at reaching. ]

Seeing that is probably the first step towards getting things right.

[freed]

Do you really think so?

[he seems to contemplate this for a moment before nodding.]

Thank you. I haven't the slightest clue how to deal with this sort of thing, so the reassurance is appreciated. I hope your loss becomes easier to deal with as well.

[braverider]

You never really know until it happens.

[ though that said, he can't help but think it's easier for some than others. ]

Thanks. I hope so too.