CB Chapter 4: Chief, Cook and Asparagus

[zoe_jayne]

I am so sorry that it's taken me so long to update Cloudburst, but as an apology, I offer chapter 4. The writing of this chapter would never have happened if not for the following wonder and brilliant women: Rinalin, AmbassadorSerra,AliaspiralTheGrandDewru. Their love and support and comments at our Ficpityparty made the difference. I owe you guys a debt that cannot be repaid so easily.

To

Comments

[rinalin]

*Wibble*

He was old like mountains were

That single description alone says a world about Pa Cobb.

For all his great size, Jayne's shoulders crumpled

Oh my poor Asparagus. *Cuddles* Not wanting to talk about Simon, hee.

[thegranddewru]

*kisses your feet* I love your words. I just have to say that. You use metaphor so well, and it makes sense, and I love it. I really do. Makes me jealous!

My favorite line is :One slender, ash-blonde brow rose and Ma Cobb looked at her son. It was the long suffering gaze of all mothers the 'Verse over, when they are sure their children ought to know better, and prove they don't. So good.

[aliaspiral]

oh, i LOVE the way you finally wrote that scene! It works well in River's pov, and I love her getting pulled into everything..and the sisters scattering like high noon. Hee!

and his Pa!

i cant wait to see whats next!

[alpdrucken]

I love the way you've described Jayne's family. The descriptions are so simple, so very farmer-esque, that they explain Ma and Pa perfectly.

I can hardly wait to read more of this! Thank you!

[rinalin]

*Misses you!*