Fic - Keeping Faith
Title: Keeping Faith
Rating: PG for language only. Wow. Who saw that one coming?
Genre and/or Pairing: Domestic Post-Apocalypse, Dean/Cas
Spoilers: Season 4
Warnings: none
Word Count:~9000
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary:After the apocalypse is over, Dean and Cas become a family when they take in a little girl.
A/N: I wanted to show a happy ending for Dean and Cas where their life together is understated and simple and they fit in to it so well. So, lots of WAFF, schmoop etc. If you want angst, this is the wrong place!
Available in PODFIC read by iamala
Four days after the apocalypse, four days after they won the war, Dean found Faith.
She was a tiny thing, maybe five years old. She didn’t speak. She was hiding underneath the front porch of what used to be her home.
Her parents were dead. They died when the demons that had been possessing them burned through their bodies for Lucifer’s apocalypse ritual.
Dean had been out on a food run and something small and blonde ran in front of the Impala. He almost hit her. He stopped the car in the middle of the street and followed.
She was living in the dark, under the floorboards of the porch with a dirty stuffed panda bear and a blanket. When Dean finally coaxed her out, she wouldn’t go without either one.
Without really thinking about it, he brought her back to the hotel where he, Sam and Cas were living in two adjoining rooms. Dean and Sam were at a loss with what to do with her and she hid behind Dean’s legs until Cas enticed her out with a glass of water. It was Cas that gave her a bath and put her in a t-shirt to sleep while Sam went out to get her some things.
It was Cas who eventually named her Faith.
She didn’t talk for a month and when she finally did speak her first word had been ‘no.’ Dean had just finished saying that she should eat her dinner and then she could have a bath and go to bed early.
Just the one word. No.
He had been so awed and surprised that she had finally spoken, he had laughed. He thought she had the prettiest voice in the world.
A fact he was trying valiantly to remember twelve years later as she yelled down the stairs at him.
“You can’t tell me what to do!” The blond hair is currently streaked with blue and pink. How she got those colors in there, he will never know.
“As a matter of fact, I can tell you what to do and I’m telling you no.”
“You’re such a hypocrite. That’s so unfair. You have a tattoo and you won’t let me get one.” She stomps her feet at the top of the stairs.
“It’s an anti-demon possession tattoo!” Dean crosses his arms at the bottom of the staircase. They are both digging in.
“So?”
His mouth opens and closes and opens again. He finally finds something to say. “If you want an anti-possession tattoo, I’ll put it on you myself, but you are not going to pick some stupid boy’s name and have it tattooed across your butt.”
“That’s not even what I was going to pick. Jesus you don’t even trust me, do you?”
Cas comes home then. The not-so-dulcet yet familiar sounds of Dean and Faith’s shouting match greeting him as he walks up to the house and lets himself in. He shifts his bag off his shoulder and calmly takes off his coat and shoes.
“Cas!” Dean yells. “Get over here and help me talk sense into her.”
Faith makes the strangled frustrated sound of teenage girls everywhere. Cas calmly looks up the stairs. It doesn’t escape his notice, although it might have escaped Dean’s, that Faith always prefers to yell down the stairs at Dean, as though giving herself high ground will help her win.
“Please come down, Faith and let’s talk about this.”
Faith rolls her eyes and stomps down the stairs. Cas leads her to the sofa and she goes willingly.
Sometimes it irks Dean that Cas gets to be the mother-hen and he is the shouty-dad.
“Now,” begins Cas, his voice low and soothing. “What’s this about?”
“Dad says I can’t get a tattoo even though he has one and it’s lame and stupid and I know what I want and he didn’t even ask me what I wanted to get before he said no.”
All Dean could do is make an outraged ‘glick’ sound at the tirade. Cas flashes him a look and Dean grinds his teeth shut.
“A tattoo. I see. And why do you want one?”
Surly teenage girl eye roll. “I dunno. I just do. It’d be cool.”
“Do your friends have them?”
Surly teenage girl lip pout. “No.”
“Are they pressuring you to be the first?”
“No.”
“Is there a specific reason you want to get one?”
“Maybe.” The last word is barely audible. Faith is sitting on her hands. She does that when she is uncomfortable or nervous. Cas always has a knack with Faith and doesn’t push her on what her reason is.
Cas furrows his brows in confusion, his voice taking on a slightly perplexed tone. “I do not understand why you would want to get a tattoo. God made you lovely as you are.”
She rolls her eyes again. “You have to say that.”
“Why do I have to say that?” Cas looks so ernest that Dean tries not to smirk. Cas is laying it on a little thick in Dean’s opinion, but Faith doesn’t seem to notice.
“You know,” she says lowly and pulled her hands out from underneath her legs and making a weird flapping motion to indicate Cas’ former wings. It is a such a dorky thing to do and she looks about four years old again. “You think everything is lovely. I bet you even think turtles are ‘lovely.’”
“Turtles are lovely. Their shells are magnificent marvels.”
She huffs disbelievingly. “See? Told you.”
“Yes, I suppose you find my wonder at the world hopeless.”
She laughs. Tiny teenage girl laugh. Like she doesn’t really want to give up being angry but she can’t help herself. Cas gives her a hug and she falls into it easily. Sometimes it hurts how easy Cas is with her.
“Why don’t you go upstairs and wash up and we’ll go out for dinner.”
“Can we go to Denny’s?”
“Yes. And you may get ‘Moons over my Hammy.’”
And okay, Cas saying ‘Moons over my Hammy’ is still the funniest thing ever in Dean’s opinion and it hasn’t gotten old over the past 12 years. Faith’s face lights up in a real smile and she races upstairs. Dean waits until the door to her room shuts before he speaks to Cas.
“Confused angel bit works every time, huh?”
Castiel nodded. “Yep.”
***
Cas and Faith are talking in her room. The door isn’t closed, but it is slightly closed over and Dean can hear the low rumble of Cas’ voice followed by the higher-pitched, still slightly sullen tone of Faith.
He isn’t eavesdropping.
He isn’t.
But you can only walk so slowly down the hall before you run out of hallway to walk slowly down. He continues on to the bedroom.
Cas comes in about twenty minutes later and Dean looks up from his book. Cas tries to hand him a piece of paper.
“What's that?”
“The tattoo she wants.” Cas waggles the paper.
“Jesus Cas! You can’t go in there and tell her yes after I tell her no. And, and!” Dean exclaims sitting up straighter. “Divide and conquer, dude. Classic battle move. She culled you from the herd to get you on her side.”
“Dean.”
Dean doesn’t say anything as Cas climbs into bed.
“First, you and I are not a herd. Second, she didn’t have to ask us at all. She could have just gone ahead and did it.”
“She needs a signature for the permission sheet, she’s a minor, Cas.”
Castiel gives him a look. The one that clearly says he thinks Dean is an idiot. “You really think that your daughter can’t forge a signature? Especially your chicken scratch?” he asks.
“Well…”
“Never mind forging the document, she can probably make her own false identification. She probably has made her own false identification.”
Dean rolls his eyes just like Faith earlier. “Gimme the paper.”
Castiel hands it over.
“What the hell is it?”
“A Celtic tree of life.”
Dean eyeballs the drawing and then Castiel. “It doesn’t have some freaky ass demonic tag or anything?”
“No. Faith would like a small one on her ankle. In black.”
“How big?”
Castiel holds his thumb and pointer finger about two inches apart.
Dean stares at the drawing and then Cas again. “It’s gonna hurt like a motherfucker on her ankle. That’s just bone.”
“She is aware.”
“Hmmph.” Dean folds up the drawing and puts it at the back of his book. “I’ll think about it.”
“You should tell her that tomorrow morning.”
“She’s gonna be pissed if I say no. I’ll be the bad guy here.”
“Dean, you are never Faith’s bad guy,” Cas says with a smile. “She fights so hard with you because she trusts you’ll never leave.”
***
The night he found her, before they realized she wasn’t going to talk anytime soon, before Cas had named her Faith, Dean had put her to sleep in their bed. Cas took the floor and Dean took the chair. She looked so tiny and small. He drifted to sleep in the chair and when he woke up, she was gone. He panicked and turned all the lights on in the hotel room, waking up Cas.
Dean found her under the small table that served as a desk in the room. She was curled into a tight ball, dirty blanket and panda clutched tight, dark brown eyes wide in the shadows. He wondered what he and Cas must look like to her. Impossibly huge faces staring in at her talking with deep rumbly voices. He didn’t even know what to say, so he said the first thing that came to mind.
“Your panda needs a bath.”
She looked scandalized. Terrified. Horrified.
“Not right now, maybe tomorrow morning? We could go to the laundromat and wash him up. The blanket too.”
She looked down at the blanket forlornly.
“Dean,” said Cas. “I believe I may be able to help.”
Cas still had some angel juice left then, not much, but some. He reached his long delicate fingers out toward her.
“Little girl, may I see your bear?”
Dean slapped Cas’ shoulder. “It’s a panda and you can’t call her ‘little girl’, that sounds creepy.”
“We do not know her name. What should I call her?”
“Jesus, I mean,” he looked over at the girl quickly and then back at Cas. “Jeez,” he amended, “anything but ‘little girl.’ That’s like a ten out of ten on the pervert scale.”
“Small child, may I see your panda?”
Dean rolled his eyes. She didn’t move.
“See,” Dean began jerking a thumb at Cas. “He’s kind of like a magician. Do you know what a magician is? Well, Cas, is kind of like one and I bet he will make your panda clean without us having to put him in the washing machine. Pretty cool, huh?”
Suspicion. But perhaps a glimmer of interest.
“And he can do it right here, right now. Wouldn't that be great? I mean, you had a bath already, don’t you think your panda might want one too? It feels so good to be clean after you’ve been really dirty, doesn’t it?”
She moved an inch. Her lips curled into a thoughtful frown.
“Cas is a panda expert. He does this all the time.”
Cas stared at him until Dean hit him on the back of the head.
Cas turned to face the little girl. “I am an expert,” he intoned. “I do this all the time.”
She grudgingly handed the panda over. It took Cas only the blink of an eye and the white fur of the stuffed animal was glistening like new, the black turned shiny and deep. Cas handed the toy back to her and she touched it softly, turning it over. She looked at Cas like he was magic himself.
And then she handed him the blanket to do as well.
She came out from under the table and Dean led her back to bed before he settled in the chair. He heard a quiet rustle seconds later and then she climbed up his legs onto his lap. Cas looked up from the floor, resting up on his elbows.
“Why does she prefer you? I cleaned the panda.”
“Dude, it was my idea to clean the panda. I totally win.”
***
Of all the places Dean never thought he would be, he had never even considered putting “high-school band concert” on the list.
But here he is. With Cas. Listening to the band play “Symphony in G Minor” by Mozart.
He knows because it’s emblazoned on the program. The program he is being careful not to bend because it lists Faith’s name under the woodwind section.
Faith Winchester - Oboe
Dean didn’t even know what an oboe was until Faith joined band three years ago and that was the instrument she picked. It had a strange sing-song tone that he and Cas were intimately familiar with now, having heard hours of it coming from her room.
Sam and his wife Evelyn were supposed to come but the twins came down with a bug and their number one babysitter, the only one they trusted when the twins were sick, is currently playing the oboe on the small stage. Cas is recording it for them.
Dean’s pretty sure the way he’s aiming the recorder, he’s getting a whole lot of the gymnasium ceiling and not much else. It’s a good thing Faith is in band and it only matters what she sounds like, and not musical theatre where getting her actually on screen would matter too.
Even though she’s exceptionally easy to pick out with her blonde, blue and pink hair, Dean still slaps Cas on the arm when he spots her and points. Cas makes a low ‘mmhmm’ sound. At one point, during a lull, Faith’s eyes flick over to them and Dean waves like an idiot, arm making a huge sweep and he stupidly points at Cas too. Faith scrunches up her nose and drags a finger across her throat to tell him to cut it out.
Dean doesn’t know why, but he’s a little nervous. It’s not like Faith could or would make a mistake. But he’s bouncing his knee so much that without even looking over, Cas puts his hand on Dean’s kneecap to still it.
An hour and a half later they stand in the foyer of the school and wait for Faith, making chit chat with other parents.
Other parents. It still makes Dean a laugh a little. To these other parents, he and Cas are just Faith’s dads. Dean sees them all at the same school functions and they see him. He drives Faith and her friends to the movies and the first time Faith wanted to sleep over at Lindsay’s, he called Lindsay’s mother, Di, to make sure it was legit. Di called him last week when it was eleven o’clock at night and she didn’t know where her daughter was, only that it was past curfew and Lindsay was no where to be found. Dean had assured Di he hadn’t known Lindsay forgot to ask to stay over and offered to drive her home immediately. Di sighed and said that if Lindsay was over there, she was fine and she’d deal with it in the morning
Dean and Cas’ house is considered safe to her.
She and her husband, Roger, have no idea that Dean and his brother Sam stopped the apocalypse with the help of former angel gone rogue, Castiel. She doesn’t even know Cas stands for Castiel. She only knows him as Cas, Dean’s partner.
Roger sells tiles. Di’s in Real Estate. And they think Faith is a lovely, lovely girl and “are so happy that Lindsay’s finally got a friend with some smarts.”
Despite her blue and pink hair and propensity for dark eyeliner, Faith is the responsible one amongst her friends. Dean and Cas have raised a responsible kid.
If he wasn’t so damn proud of her, he would laugh at the idea. Of course it makes total sense that Cas would raise a responsible girl, but Dean’s still surprised that he was part of the equation.
Responsible though she might be, she dawdles and most of the foyer has cleared out after twenty minutes and Dean and Cas are still waiting for Faith. Roger and Di headed out as Lindsay already asked for and received permission to stay over at Dean and Cas’. And this time, Dean made sure Di knew about it.
Dean hears Lindsay’s booming voice coming down the long, linoleumed hallway and Faith’s not-much-quieter tones long before he sees them.
“Your dads are totally the hottest dads here.”
“Ew! Gross, they’re my dads.”
“My mother blushes when she talks to your dad on the phone.”
“Which one?”
“Both actually, but mostly Dean.”
“That’s so gross, Lins.”
He may be someone’s dad now, but the fact that he’s still considered hot makes him grin.
“It he wasn’t so old, I’d totally go for him.”
Well that takes the wind out of his sails. They must have stopped for something because their voices aren’t getting any closer. And yeah it’s wrong but he’s the dad of a teenage girl so he’s got to snoop sometimes to make sure she’s not doing drugs and other stuff he never knew he would have to worry about.
“Sick. And you would never stand a chance with my dad. Either of them.”
“Oh. ‘Cause of the gay.”
Dean cannot believe his life is getting dissected by teenage girls.
“Not even. It’s just… Like, if one of them was a girl, they’d still be together. That’s just the way they are. They’re kinda built for each other.”
“Aw! That is so romantic! And it’s so cute how they hold hands!”
He hears Faith snort. “It’s so sappy, right? But they’ve got it bad for each other. Even after, like, forever.”
Jesus, she makes it sound like he and Cas are ninety years old.
“It’s sweet,” Lindsay answers. “Hey, you think they’ll let us stop for mochas?”
“Ohmigod, I could really use one right now.”
“I know right?”
***
Three days after he found her and she still hadn’t spoken, Dean proclaimed they couldn’t keep calling her ‘her.’
She needed a name. If she couldn’t tell them her name, they could give her one.
Cas suggested Faith.
Dean rolled his eyes and made all the appropriate sounds but secretly, he liked it. He thought it suited her.
They brought a small but comfortable cot into the motel room and even purchased frilly pink sheets to go on it. Every night, Dean tucked her into the cot with her panda.
And every night for two weeks, he would wake up at some point to find her plastered to him, sandwiched between him and Cas.
By the third week, she stayed in her own bed, but Cas said her eyes tracked Dean where ever he went. When Dean was gone, she waited by the window until she saw the Impala pull up and then she would scoot over to the door and stand just inside until Dean opened it.
They moved in with Bobby and it was after a week there that she started talking again. She had her own small room with a bed and a dresser and Sam bought her pictures of Disney Princesses to put up on the wall. She would only say one or two words at a time to them, but one day as Dean was walking past her room, he saw she had set up a little tea party with her panda bear and blanket on the floor.
She was talking to the panda. It was so serious and matter of fact as she talked to her stuffed toy it broke Dean’s big gruff heart.
“Mummy and Daddy are dead. You didn’t see it ‘cause I put you in a box. They died and then not-Mummy and not-Daddy lived in the house for a while. We don’t live there anymore. We live with Dean and Cas now. Cas cleans stuff. Dean drives. Cas and Dean are like Mummy and Daddy ‘cause they live together and they love each other. But they are both daddies. You can have my old name ‘cause I have a new one. I’m Faith. And you’re Riley.” She paused as though letting her words sink into the panda. “It’s a good name. But I like Faith better.”
She poured imaginary tea from the kettle that Bobby had said she could use. She took a little sip from the coffee mug she had.
“Sam and Dean are brothers. We don’t have a brother anymore. Not-Mummy and Not-Daddy made him dead. They didn’t get you because I put you in the box. And we hid. You’re lucky, I’m a good hider.”
Oh shit, thought Dean. He had never even thought of siblings.
“And then Dean found us and now we live with Dean and Cas,” she finished. She put her mug down and stared hard at the panda like she was listening.
“Don’t be sad about it.”
Dean shook his head to clear it and then he knocked on the door frame. Faith looked up at him and smiled.
“Tea party, huh?” he said roughly. She nodded. “I love tea parties. Can I join?”
***
Faith loves to bake and she makes awesome cakes. Dean’s mouth is already watering as she sets down Cas’ birthday cake on the table.
Banana-chocolate chip in chocolate batter with fudge icing. She made Cas look through six recipes and pick one.
She’s not so good at the decorations and the icing is messy and crooked, dripping off the edges in long, sugary spikes. Happy B-Day Papa Cas! is scrawled in hot pink icing on top of the fudge mixture that covers the rest of the cake.
“Looks good, Faithy,” says Dean.
Cas looks happy too as he blows out the candles that proclaim he’s twenty-nine.
Cas has been twenty-nine every year since Faith found out that Cas didn’t have a birthday and insisted he have one. She had been horrified that not only did he not have a birthday, he didn’t know how old he was. She had proclaimed that day, April sixth, his birthday and told him he was twenty-nine, because that was ‘real big.’
Since it’s Cas’ birthday, Faith presents him with the knife. “Birthday person cuts,” she says with a smile. Cas slices them huge pieces of chocolate cake and they all dig in. Dean gets a blob of chocolate on his chin and Cas thumbs it off absently while Faith rolls her eyes and wrinkles her nose.
“What are you and your friends up to tonight?” asks Cas between bites.
A shrug. “Dunno. Lins and I are gonna meet at the mall ‘cause there’s a new lipstick I want and then…” she shrugs again.
Dean cuts a big bite with his fork. “Is Lindsay driving?”
“She is unless you let me take the Impala?” Faith asks brightly.
“Ha ha, no,” Dean says easily and Faith slumps dramatically.
“You may take my car if you put gas in it,” replies Cas.
“Naw, Lins will drive. S’okay.”
“What’s wrong with my car?” Cas asks with a frown.
Dean starts counting off on his fingers. “One, it’s foreign. Two, it screams ‘dad car.’”
“I am a dad and it is my car.”
“Three, it’s not the Impala.”
“But if she can’t have the Impala…” Cas trails off as he reaches under the table and snatches Faith’s microcomputer from her busy fingers. “No computers at the table.”
“I was in the middle of something!”
“Something that shouldn’t have been started at the table,” Cas says as he closes the tiny computer and sets it out of reach.
She gives a disgusted sigh. Then, slight forgotten, she turns back to Cas. “ Is Daddy D taking you out?”
“We’re staying in to watch a movie.”
“That’s so lame! It’s your birthday!” Faith gives an outraged look to Dean.
“His birthday, his choice.”
“Lame,” she proclaims again, shoveling cake in her mouth with the frantic energy of the young. Dean squeezes Cas’ knee under the table. They have plans but they aren’t the kind you share with your teenage daughter.
“Kay,” she says, mouth full of cake. “I gotta get ready, Lins will be here in an hour.”
“What’s wrong with what you have on?” Cas asks.
“I can’t go out like this!” she exclaims as she stands, gesturing to her perfectly fine jeans and t-shirt.
Dean laughs. “You’re breaking the bank with all the hot water you use.”
“Price of beauty, Daddy D.” She leans over and leaves a chocolate kiss on Cas cheek. “Happy birthday.”
Cas hugs her back. “Thank you, Faith. The cake is excellent. Best one yet.”
***
As it turned out, Dean knew a lot about women, but he didn’t know fuck all about girls. Cas wasn’t much better but he lacked the social embarrassment that stopped Dean at times and would simply plow forward when necessary.
They left Faith with Bobby and Sam so he and Cas could shop for her. He felt like a complete pervert hanging around the little girl section of the Wal-mart and he didn’t even want to look sideways at the packages of little-girl underwear.
Luckily, Cas felt no such shame and picked up packages and started reading about sizes and fit, putting things back on the rack and putting others in the cart. Cas picked out outfits for Faith in purple, pink, orange and green. Matchy-matchy the way only girls under ten and women over sixty can pull off. Cas picked out dresses, tights to go with the dresses and shoes.
Dean had to admit the shoes were cute. Shiny black with an impossibly tiny strap. He actually worried how he and Cas would ever securely fasten such a tiny buckle with their big hands. Cas got her small sneakers too.
It was standing in that Wal-mart, watching Cas waffle between the Ariel pajamas and the Belle ones that Dean realized he had a family.
Not that he didn’t have one before. His mother, his father, Sam. The tiny Winchester nuclear unit that barely had a chance. Then just his father and Sam. Then Bobby, Ellen and Jo… They were all his family, of course. But now, inside that larger circle that contained all of them in his mind and his heart, it was like he had a subset circle for just him, Cas and Faith. No one had ever questioned it, but from the moment he brought Faith home, everyone assumed that Cas, Dean and Faith were now a family too. Even Faith had figured it out. Dean remembered the tea party where she had explained to her panda that Dean and Cas were just like Mummy and Daddy.
It took him a second to realize that Cas was asking him a question.
“What?” he said.
“This one has a fish tail. Do little girls like that? Fish tails?”
“She’s a mermaid, I think. She gives up her tail to meet a boy.”
Cas frowned. “That’s a foolish thing to do, what if she ends up not liking the boy?”
Dean shrugged. “Got me.”
“Hmmm. I will pick the one in the yellow dress then.” He tossed the pajamas with Belle on them in the cart.
“We’re a family now,” Dean stated.
Cas stared at Dean like he was an idiot. “Of course we are.”
***
The doorbell rings and Faith yells down the stairs.
“I got it. Don’t touch it!”
Dean stands next to the door and Cas leans against the doorjamb watching from the kitchen. Faith tromps down the stairs louder than a herd of elephants. Her skirt is too short but before Dean can say something about it, she’s wagging a finger in Dean’s face.
“Don’t say anything about guns or knives or hunting. Promise.”
Dean gives her a wide innocent look. She turns on Cas.
“And nothing about smiting. Jesus. Don’t scare him off.”
Cas doesn’t even have a chance to say something before she turns again, smoothes her outfit and opens the door. Then it’s all girlish smiles and feet shuffling.
“Dads, this is Luke. Luke, these are my dads, Dean and Cas.” She jerks a thumb quickly at both of them and Dean gets the distinct impression that she’d have them wear bags over their heads if she could.
“Uh, hello, sirs.”
Luke is all gangly limbs and young boy angles. His black hair is longer than Sam’s ever was but it’s pushed back from his face and he meets both Dean’s and Cas’ eyes. His jeans are dark and unripped, his shirt is tucked in. He holds his hand out to Dean to shake and when Dean doesn’t take it at first, Faith stomps one of her heeled shoes and gives him a look.
“Dad,” she hisses, her face contorted.
Dean purses his lips. “Hmmph.” He says as he grips Luke’s hand a little tighter than he should. Luke’s eyes widen slightly but he doesn’t say anything.
Faith is shrugging into her coat. “There you met him. ‘Kay, bye.”
“Curfew is eleven,” Cas says from the kitchen doorway.
“Twelve,” Faith counters.
Cas says nothing in return. He stares at Faith and then turns his icy blue gaze to Luke.
“I’ll have her home by eleven, sirs.”
“I’m sure you will,” Cas says evenly.
Faith groans and pulls the door shut hard behind her, slamming it.
***
Fridays were pizza and movie night. Dean picked one up on the way home after work.
As usual, as soon as he stepped in the door, Faith was all over him.
“Daddy D! You’re back! You’re seven minutes late today.”
“You and Papa Cas are working on your time telling, huh?”
“Yes and normally you get home at five thirty but now it’s five thirty-seven.” She looked over at the clock and gasped. “Oh! Five thirty-eight!”
“Oh no!” Dean exclaimed as he kicked his shoes off.
“Faith,” called Cas, “let him get in the door at least.”
Faith furrowed her six year old eyebrows in annoyance and it was like looking at a little Castiel. Dean laughed.
“What movie did you pick for tonight?”
“It’s one with a pig that talks and the pig gets separated from his mom but he goes to live on a farm and has another family.”
Dean gave Cas a significant look over Faith’s head. A look that said, ‘Is that a good idea?’ referring to Faith’s history. Cas shrugged and gave Dean a look right back. A ‘she picked the movie and you try telling her no,’ look.
Faith tugged at Dean’s free hand, the one that wasn’t holding pizza. “Come on. You’re taking forever.”
After pizza, Faith changed into her pajamas and it was her job to put the DVD in and press the buttons. From the couch, with one arm around Cas and his feet propped up on the coffee table, Dean watched as her little face pinched up making sure she carefully hit all the right buttons. She looked up at the screen and was satisfied when she saw the opening previews start.
She hopped up on the couch, making herself a spot in the unselfconscious way of children, pushing Dean a little to the left and Cas a little to the right, until she was pressed tight in between them. Like a tiny mole, she burrowed her butt down until she was comfortable. Cas laughed and met Dean’s eye over her head.
“Just another romantic evening at home,” Cas said dryly.
“What’s romantic?” piped Faith.
“I’ll tell you when you’re old enough, which will be half past never o’clock,” Cas said with a playful grin and then tickled her knee which always made her squeal.
“That’s not a real time!” Faith protested and she poked her little finger into Cas’ ribs hard. He gave a mock ‘oof’ of pain.
They settled in to watch the movie. There was a tense moment when the little pig cried that he wanted his mother and Faith turned her head into Dean’s armpit and wouldn’t look back at the screen until Cas told her that the pig was now happy on the farm.
By the end of the movie, Faith appeared to have forgotten her sadness and she was all smiles and giggles as the pig, Babe, rounded up the sheep and Farmer Hogget told him, “That’ll do pig.”
They tucked her in and headed back downstairs to the couch. While Faith’s bedtime is nine on Fridays, it was a little early for Dean and Cas to call it a night.
“I’ve been thinking,” started Dean. “We should probably find out if Faith has any family left.”
“Yes,” said Cas slowly. “If she has family out there, it’s cruel to let them think she perished as well.”
“Yeah. I remember where I found her. Of course I know the city, but I mean the address. That should be all we need, I shouldn’t have to ask her anything. If she even remembers.” Dean peeled the label of his beer bottle. “It’s wrong, isn’t it? That I’m hoping she doesn’t have any family left. That’s… Jesus, that’s a terrible thing to think.”
“You’re not thinking it because you wish it true for her. You’re wishing it true for us. For what we’ve become. What we are. We’re a family. And if Faith has blood relatives, it’s wonderful for her, but… ”
“It’s shitty for us.”
“Yes.”
He felt his heart speed up. “What if we find somebody and they want her and they won’t let us see her? Or they could be, I dunno, from France or some shit and take her over there.”
“Dean.”
His breathing became quick and rushed. “Or serial killers? They could be serial killers or weird perverts.”
“Dean.”
“Jesus, I know what kind of monsters are out there and humans are the worst.”
Cas took Dean’s beer bottle away and set it carefully on the coffee table. He put one hand around Dean’s neck and pulled him in until their foreheads were touching. Neither one of them said anything while they rested their heads together. After a few minutes, Dean felt better.
Cas pulled back a bit. “Why don’t you ask Sam to research it for us?”
Dean nodded and took a shaky breath. “Yeah. He’s good at stuff like that.”
***
Faith is crying.
It’s horrible, teenage girl crying, with mascara running, hitching breaths and a crumpled up kleenex ball that she won’t discard but instead keeps adding more tissue to.
Cas holds the tissue box for her. Dean sits beside her. He tried to rub her back and that makes her cry more so he’s keeping his hands to himself now, awkwardly setting them in his lap.
“Just tell us what it is and we’ll fix it,” Dean says finally.
“I t-t-told you, you c-c-can’t!”
“Faith, we stopped the apocalypse,”says Cas solemnly. “Whatever it is, we can fix it.” He looks up at Dean questioningly and Dean gives him the thumbs up.
She lets out a long, phlegmy sigh. “You won’t understand.”
“Well you won’t know until you tell us,” counters Dean.
Faith pushes herself up from the couch. “I’m going to my room. Leave me alone.”
Cas and Dean stare at each other and Cas flinches when Faith slams her door. Seconds later the sound of techno music comes blasting down the stairs.
“What the fuck was that all about?” Dean demands.
Cas just looks bewildered and shakes his head. “I’ve no idea but if that boy Luke is behind it, I’ll find a way to smite him.”
So they do the only thing they can think of.
They call Sam’s wife, Evelyn.
She’s at their house a half-hour later. Dean always thought it was funny that as big as Sam is, Evelyn is petite. At only five-foot two, even Faith is taller than her. Evelyn’s not a pretty little thing, she’s a gorgeous little thing and as she takes off coat and shoes her green eyes settle on Dean’s.
“What’s up?”
“She’s crying! And now she’s in her room and won’t come out.”
Evelyn makes soft little ‘mmm-hmm’ sounds. “You big boys stay down here.” She snaps her fingers in front of Dean’s face. “No eavesdropping!”
Evelyn makes it into Faith’s room and the music goes quiet. Dean and Cas stand at the bottom of the stairs and stare upward.
After an hour they’ve migrated to the kitchen. Dean rolls a beer bottle back and forth between his hands until Cas can’t stand the sound of it against the table and leans over and plucks it from Dean’s fingers. Dean wrinkles his nose at him.
After another hour, they’re watching tv. Cas’ fingers are tapping a staccato on his knee and even though the rhythm is steady and precise, it’s driving Dean mad. He reaches over and puts his hand over Cas to stop it.
After two and a half hours, Evelyn comes downstairs. Dean and Cas both bolt up from the couch like they’ve been shot.
“Was it the boy? That Luke boy?” asks Castiel. “Because I could perhaps persuade someone to smite him.”
“Or we can just go over there and hurt him a bit. Or a lot,” Dean adds.
“You two,” Evelyn says as she puts her coat back on and rolls her eyes. “No, it wasn’t Luke, you leave that poor boy alone. She’s fine, it’s all fine.”
And that’s all she says. Dean leans forward.
“Well? What was it?”
Evelyn purses her lips. “I promised I wouldn’t tell you.” Before Dean goes apoplectic on her, she continues. “If I thought you needed to know, I would tell you. I’m a mom, I know how you worry. But she asked me to promise and I did and if she thinks she can tell me stuff and it’s safe…”
“Then she’ll come talk to you when she needs to,” finishes Cas and he sighs.
“Yeah,” says Evelyn with a nod. “You guys have been lucky with her, when I think about what I put my parents through when I was a teenager… My dad was afraid to talk to me because it always ended in tears or a shouting match. And my mother… yeesh.” She flaps her hands as she dismisses the thought. “She’s okay. I promise. She just needed some girl time. And she’s all cried out now so I told her to just wash her face and go to bed.” She gives them both a look. “Don’t push her. She’s like an itty-bitty bird after all that.”
She gives them both a hug and Cas thanks her again for coming and she shoos away his thanks with a simple, “We’re family”
The door closes shut behind her and Dean and Cas face each other.
“Girls are hard,” Dean says.
“Indeed.”
***
“I can’t find anyone.”
It was wrong, so wrong and he knew it but Dean let out a sigh of relief anyway.
“Really? How far did you check?”
Sam pulled out his folder and set it on the kitchen table. At the moment, Faith was plunked down in front of the television watching Dora the Explorer. Cas was standing in the doorway of the kitchen so he could keep one eye on her and an ear on the conversation Dean and Sam were having.
“Far enough, I think,” Sam answered as he flipped the folder open. “As you already knew, her parents were dead. The town was pretty ransacked, I mean, that’s what happens when you’re apocalypse central. There was a… well it was a clean up crew of sorts that went through the town and they opened up all the houses and took care of all the… bodies. They found Faith’s parents and her brother.”
Sam put a set of papers in front of Dean and he read them over. Death certificates for Kevin and Elizabeth Folstrum, 34 and 33 respectively, as well as their son, Todd, 8.
And their daughter, Riley Elizabeth, no body found, listed as five years old at the time of her death.
It was a sucker punch to his gut. Technically, he was holding Faith’s death certificate. He handed it over with shaky hands to Cas who perused it quickly and slid it back on the table, face down and then rested his hand on Dean’s shoulder.
“Uh, Elizabeth’s parents lived in town too, but they, uh, didn’t survive the apocalypse either. Not demon possession, they were older and just… they didn’t make it.” Sam flipped through some other papers. “Kevin’s parents were already dead, they died when before he and Elizabeth got married. He was an only child. Elizabeth had a sister, but… well she lived in town and the demons… well you get the picture. She wasn’t married.”
Out of her entire family, Faith was the only survivor. Jesus, someday he and Cas were gonna have to tell her all this. She would want to know. She deserved to know.
“Thanks. Thanks, man, really,” Dean said. Not sure what else to add.
“I’ll leave these papers with you guys. For Faith. When she’s older.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
Cas looked down sharply as he felt Faith’s hand tug his pants.
“Yes, Faith?”
“Are you guys done with Uncle Sam now? Last time he said he’d make me a special Uncle Sam-wich.” She stared at Sam accusingly and Sam laughed.
“I did, I promised. Or,” Sam said teasingly. “We could go for ice cream? Oh, but you probably don’t even like…”
Faith rushed forward and clutched Sam’s leg like her life depended on it. “No! No, I do, I do! Daddies please, can I go?”
Dean looked down at her large dark eyes, so full of despair and fear that he’s going to tell her she can’t go for ice cream. He looked at Cas who smiled and shrugged. Dean stared at Sam. “You’re gonna fire up all her cylinders on sugar and then drop her off and disappear, aren’t you?”
“Dean, that’s what uncles do.”
Sam stood and held out his giant Sam paw for Faith to slide her tiny fingers into.
“Just wait till you have kids, Sammy,” Dean yelled after them. “Then Cas and I are gonna feed them pop and donuts until they’re just about to puke and leave them on your doorstep.”
Sam turned around quickly and stuck his tongue out at Dean.
***
Faith comes barreling into the den where Cas is watching Wimbeldon. He frowns at the frantic look in her eyes.
“Daddy D says he’s going to the grocery store.”
“Oh fuck,” Cas replies. “Where are his keys?”
She tosses them high and he easily snatches them out of the air and stuffs them in his pocket just as Dean ambles into the den.
“Have you seen my keys?”
Cas shakes his head. “No. Going somewhere?”
Dean absently checks the sofa table and a few sofa cushions next to Cas’ recliner.
“I was gonna go to the grocery store.”
“Oh,” nods Cas. “You know, Faith was just trying to convince me to let her take my car so she could get a mocha. Faith, I’ll let you take the car if you stop off at the store for Dean.”
“You bet,” Faith nods enthusiastically.
“Naw, I’ll just do a quick run once I find my keys. If you want, you can come with me and then we’ll stop for coffee.”
Faith shoots Cas a nervous look that goes unnoticed by Dean as he searches. “No,” she says suddenly.
Dean looks up. “No?”
She falters for a moment and Cas steps in. “I think what Faith is saying is that she was looking forward to going on her own. Independent.”
Faith bobs her head up and down. “Yeah, so, uh, what do you want?”
Dean shrugs. “Some chips, you know those ones that have all the flavor.”
Her head bobs faster in rabid agreement. Anything to keep Dean from the grocery store.
“And some soda. And some plain chips and dip but not that weird kind Cas got last time.”
“For sure,” answers Faith. “Um, can I have some money?” She holds her hand out and Dean eyeballs it before grudgingly slapping down cash in her open palm.
“No speeding. No music on.”
“Yep.” She’s already out of the den and at the front door.
“Where the hell did I put my keys?” Dean wonders and Cas shrugs.
***
After ‘the incident’ Cas vowed Dean would never go into a grocery store again.
It began as a simple trip to the store. Cas had the list, Dean pushed the cart, Faith swung her seven year old legs lazily from the child seat and clutched her panda close.
“How is this place organized? How the hell are you supposed to find anything?” Dean grumbled.
“All the fresh food is on the outside and then preserved food is in the aisles.”
“How do you know that? Who knows those things?”
Cas glanced around, his expression clearly indicating it was obvious if you looked and then added, “It was on the Food Network.”
“Is that where this latest recipe is from?” Dean asked, flicking Cas’ list with his finger. “Because the last one sucked.”
“Sucked,” parroted Faith.
Cas frowned significantly at Dean. “Language. And that was a healthy makeover of Mac and cheese.”
“Mac and cheese should not ever, and I mean ever, have squash in it.”
“It helped reduce the dairy by thirty percent. And it was low in sodium.”
“It sucked.”
“Sucked.” Faith was an expert at repeating what Dean said.
“You liked it,” Cas said to Faith. “The macaroni with orange stuff?”
Faith looked back at Dean. “Didn’t suck.”
Dean rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” The cart wheels locked up and the whole thing started sliding right. “What the fuck? Who builds these things?” He pushed it back and forth crazily, making Faith’s head roll like a rag doll. She giggled.
“Dean.” Cas placed his hand on the cart and pulled it gently backward once and then it went forward without a hitch.
Dean narrowly avoided a couple in shopping coma, their eyes glazed over and not really looking anywhere but at the shelf in front of them. Two seconds after that a woman in hideous red loafers brought her cart to a dead stop and Dean almost rammed into her.
“Jesus!” he exclaimed. Red-Loafers turned, saw Faith and gave Dean a pointed look. Dean scowled. “Right, like I’m the asshole,” he muttered and pushed the cart around her.
In front of the dairy section, a woman had stopped her cart in the center, blocking the entire aisle. She was studying the milk like she’d never seen it before. Dean managed three seconds of silence before he broke.
“It’s milk. Comes from cows. It’s the same as it was fifty years ago and the same as it will be fifty years from now. Just pick one.” He reached over her and yanked open the dairy case and grabbed a small whole milk container and handed it to Cas. Once Dean had turned away, Cas swapped it out for 2%.
Dean was trying to reverse the shopping cart out of the aisle, pointedly ignoring the dirty look he was getting. If shopping carts steer badly while going forward, they are worse going backward. The wheels locked then released, Dean pushed and pulled, Faith rocked back and forth gleefully like it was a ride at Disneyland.
And then Dean just snapped.
“Motherfucker! What is wrong with these things? And why does everyone have to be all Stepford-y? I’d Christo the lot of them if I thought it would help. Jesus, there oughtta be a system. Like lanes for driving and lights, because it’s not right to just stop in the middle of the fucking aisle. It’s like their brains just leak out of their ears the second they step in, and this cart is broken, goddammit.”
“Dean!”
“What?” he exclaimed.
Cas had his serious face on. The ‘Do not fuck with me Dean Winchester’ face. The same face he wore when he first met Dean. Cas easily took the cart from Dean and steered it away.
“Go wait in the car,” he called firmly over his shoulder as he left Dean huffing just outside of Dairy, next to Meats.
“Goddammit,” Faith called over Cas’ shoulder.
***
Dean knocks on her door and waits for Faith to give him permission to enter.
When she does, he wishes he could say he’s surprised by the disaster that meets him. Clothes, makeup, jewelry, books, her computer, textbooks… Holy fuck. What a nightmare.
But that’s not what he’s here for. He carefully picks his way over to the bed where she’s looking up from her magazine.
It should be an olympic event. He can’t even tell there’s carpet in here.
“Cas showed me your tattoo picture.”
Magazine is tossed aside and she’s all ears now. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’m listening now. Tell me why you want it.”
She looks up for a second as she thinks. “It’s like… when I was thirteen and I asked you about my mom and dad and then Todd too and you and Cas told me what had happened to them… and how you found me and you brought me home with you… I didn’t know at first if I wanted to have them for a family. Like I did, but I was mad too. I was mad that they left me.” He starts to say something but stops when he realizes she’s not done. “I mean, I know they didn’t leave me, they died. But I was mad, you know? Like they left me behind. And then I felt really bad about being angry ‘cause it’s not their fault they died. And if they knew what was happening… like Jesus, that must have been awful. That’s really fucked up and sad and horrible. But then you found me and you and Cas became my dads and I’m happy. And sometimes I think… I feel like… like maybe I need something that’s for them. But I don’t want it to be something sad and awful. I want it to be something happy and pretty. So I picked the tree.”
He’s afraid if he says anything right now he’ll start crying and Cas will come back from grocery shopping and find him crying like a baby on their daughter’s bed and that will be really embarrassing. So all he does for a few seconds is nod.
“Okay,” he finally says.
“Okay like ‘okay’?” she asks hopefully.
“Yes. But Cas and I get to pick the place. You’re not going to go to some chop shop and get hep-C or something.”
She squeals and before he has time to brace himself she’s launched herself at him and he’s got a mouthful of blond, pink and blue hair and it tastes like… blue raspberry.
“What is this in your hair anyway?”
“It’s kool-aid. What did you think it was?”
***
“You knew why she wanted it, didn’t you?”
Dean’s just crawling into bed and Cas looks up from his current copy of National Geographic. He loves that magazine. Cas takes his black wire glasses off as he looks at Dean, folds them carefully and places them on his nightstand.
“I suspected. I didn’t know for sure.”
“How? How did you suspect?” Dean’s incredulous.
Cas shifts closer to Dean as Dean gets under the covers. “Dean. How can you not see it? She’s not yours biologically, but she’s yours in every other way. She’s just like you and like you she always has reasons for what she does. Will she share them? No. Will she want to blurt them out to us? Probably not. But the most important thing to her is the same thing that is most important to you. Family.” Cas pauses and thinks for a second before amending his words. “And greasy food. But family first.”
“You’re pretty smart for a fallen angel.”
Cas’ eyebrows shoot up in mock indignation. “Funny.”
“So. Here we are, couple of old guys with nothing to do on a Saturday night,” Dean says quietly as his hand snakes around Cas’ waist.
“Tragic,” Cas replies as he scoots down lower in bed and gives Dean’s shoulder a tug. Dean lands on him with an ‘oof’ escaping from his lungs.
“Careful with the goods, man. You break it you buy it.”
“I purchased it quite some time ago,” Cas says and then frowns. “I wonder if it’s too late to get a refund.”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
Rating: PG for language only. Wow. Who saw that one coming?
Genre and/or Pairing: Domestic Post-Apocalypse, Dean/Cas
Spoilers: Season 4
Warnings: none
Word Count:~9000
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary:After the apocalypse is over, Dean and Cas become a family when they take in a little girl.
A/N: I wanted to show a happy ending for Dean and Cas where their life together is understated and simple and they fit in to it so well. So, lots of WAFF, schmoop etc. If you want angst, this is the wrong place!
Available in PODFIC read by iamala
Four days after the apocalypse, four days after they won the war, Dean found Faith.
She was a tiny thing, maybe five years old. She didn’t speak. She was hiding underneath the front porch of what used to be her home.
Her parents were dead. They died when the demons that had been possessing them burned through their bodies for Lucifer’s apocalypse ritual.
Dean had been out on a food run and something small and blonde ran in front of the Impala. He almost hit her. He stopped the car in the middle of the street and followed.
She was living in the dark, under the floorboards of the porch with a dirty stuffed panda bear and a blanket. When Dean finally coaxed her out, she wouldn’t go without either one.
Without really thinking about it, he brought her back to the hotel where he, Sam and Cas were living in two adjoining rooms. Dean and Sam were at a loss with what to do with her and she hid behind Dean’s legs until Cas enticed her out with a glass of water. It was Cas that gave her a bath and put her in a t-shirt to sleep while Sam went out to get her some things.
It was Cas who eventually named her Faith.
She didn’t talk for a month and when she finally did speak her first word had been ‘no.’ Dean had just finished saying that she should eat her dinner and then she could have a bath and go to bed early.
Just the one word. No.
He had been so awed and surprised that she had finally spoken, he had laughed. He thought she had the prettiest voice in the world.
A fact he was trying valiantly to remember twelve years later as she yelled down the stairs at him.
“You can’t tell me what to do!” The blond hair is currently streaked with blue and pink. How she got those colors in there, he will never know.
“As a matter of fact, I can tell you what to do and I’m telling you no.”
“You’re such a hypocrite. That’s so unfair. You have a tattoo and you won’t let me get one.” She stomps her feet at the top of the stairs.
“It’s an anti-demon possession tattoo!” Dean crosses his arms at the bottom of the staircase. They are both digging in.
“So?”
His mouth opens and closes and opens again. He finally finds something to say. “If you want an anti-possession tattoo, I’ll put it on you myself, but you are not going to pick some stupid boy’s name and have it tattooed across your butt.”
“That’s not even what I was going to pick. Jesus you don’t even trust me, do you?”
Cas comes home then. The not-so-dulcet yet familiar sounds of Dean and Faith’s shouting match greeting him as he walks up to the house and lets himself in. He shifts his bag off his shoulder and calmly takes off his coat and shoes.
“Cas!” Dean yells. “Get over here and help me talk sense into her.”
Faith makes the strangled frustrated sound of teenage girls everywhere. Cas calmly looks up the stairs. It doesn’t escape his notice, although it might have escaped Dean’s, that Faith always prefers to yell down the stairs at Dean, as though giving herself high ground will help her win.
“Please come down, Faith and let’s talk about this.”
Faith rolls her eyes and stomps down the stairs. Cas leads her to the sofa and she goes willingly.
Sometimes it irks Dean that Cas gets to be the mother-hen and he is the shouty-dad.
“Now,” begins Cas, his voice low and soothing. “What’s this about?”
“Dad says I can’t get a tattoo even though he has one and it’s lame and stupid and I know what I want and he didn’t even ask me what I wanted to get before he said no.”
All Dean could do is make an outraged ‘glick’ sound at the tirade. Cas flashes him a look and Dean grinds his teeth shut.
“A tattoo. I see. And why do you want one?”
Surly teenage girl eye roll. “I dunno. I just do. It’d be cool.”
“Do your friends have them?”
Surly teenage girl lip pout. “No.”
“Are they pressuring you to be the first?”
“No.”
“Is there a specific reason you want to get one?”
“Maybe.” The last word is barely audible. Faith is sitting on her hands. She does that when she is uncomfortable or nervous. Cas always has a knack with Faith and doesn’t push her on what her reason is.
Cas furrows his brows in confusion, his voice taking on a slightly perplexed tone. “I do not understand why you would want to get a tattoo. God made you lovely as you are.”
She rolls her eyes again. “You have to say that.”
“Why do I have to say that?” Cas looks so ernest that Dean tries not to smirk. Cas is laying it on a little thick in Dean’s opinion, but Faith doesn’t seem to notice.
“You know,” she says lowly and pulled her hands out from underneath her legs and making a weird flapping motion to indicate Cas’ former wings. It is a such a dorky thing to do and she looks about four years old again. “You think everything is lovely. I bet you even think turtles are ‘lovely.’”
“Turtles are lovely. Their shells are magnificent marvels.”
She huffs disbelievingly. “See? Told you.”
“Yes, I suppose you find my wonder at the world hopeless.”
She laughs. Tiny teenage girl laugh. Like she doesn’t really want to give up being angry but she can’t help herself. Cas gives her a hug and she falls into it easily. Sometimes it hurts how easy Cas is with her.
“Why don’t you go upstairs and wash up and we’ll go out for dinner.”
“Can we go to Denny’s?”
“Yes. And you may get ‘Moons over my Hammy.’”
And okay, Cas saying ‘Moons over my Hammy’ is still the funniest thing ever in Dean’s opinion and it hasn’t gotten old over the past 12 years. Faith’s face lights up in a real smile and she races upstairs. Dean waits until the door to her room shuts before he speaks to Cas.
“Confused angel bit works every time, huh?”
Castiel nodded. “Yep.”
***
Cas and Faith are talking in her room. The door isn’t closed, but it is slightly closed over and Dean can hear the low rumble of Cas’ voice followed by the higher-pitched, still slightly sullen tone of Faith.
He isn’t eavesdropping.
He isn’t.
But you can only walk so slowly down the hall before you run out of hallway to walk slowly down. He continues on to the bedroom.
Cas comes in about twenty minutes later and Dean looks up from his book. Cas tries to hand him a piece of paper.
“What's that?”
“The tattoo she wants.” Cas waggles the paper.
“Jesus Cas! You can’t go in there and tell her yes after I tell her no. And, and!” Dean exclaims sitting up straighter. “Divide and conquer, dude. Classic battle move. She culled you from the herd to get you on her side.”
“Dean.”
Dean doesn’t say anything as Cas climbs into bed.
“First, you and I are not a herd. Second, she didn’t have to ask us at all. She could have just gone ahead and did it.”
“She needs a signature for the permission sheet, she’s a minor, Cas.”
Castiel gives him a look. The one that clearly says he thinks Dean is an idiot. “You really think that your daughter can’t forge a signature? Especially your chicken scratch?” he asks.
“Well…”
“Never mind forging the document, she can probably make her own false identification. She probably has made her own false identification.”
Dean rolls his eyes just like Faith earlier. “Gimme the paper.”
Castiel hands it over.
“What the hell is it?”
“A Celtic tree of life.”
Dean eyeballs the drawing and then Castiel. “It doesn’t have some freaky ass demonic tag or anything?”
“No. Faith would like a small one on her ankle. In black.”
“How big?”
Castiel holds his thumb and pointer finger about two inches apart.
Dean stares at the drawing and then Cas again. “It’s gonna hurt like a motherfucker on her ankle. That’s just bone.”
“She is aware.”
“Hmmph.” Dean folds up the drawing and puts it at the back of his book. “I’ll think about it.”
“You should tell her that tomorrow morning.”
“She’s gonna be pissed if I say no. I’ll be the bad guy here.”
“Dean, you are never Faith’s bad guy,” Cas says with a smile. “She fights so hard with you because she trusts you’ll never leave.”
***
The night he found her, before they realized she wasn’t going to talk anytime soon, before Cas had named her Faith, Dean had put her to sleep in their bed. Cas took the floor and Dean took the chair. She looked so tiny and small. He drifted to sleep in the chair and when he woke up, she was gone. He panicked and turned all the lights on in the hotel room, waking up Cas.
Dean found her under the small table that served as a desk in the room. She was curled into a tight ball, dirty blanket and panda clutched tight, dark brown eyes wide in the shadows. He wondered what he and Cas must look like to her. Impossibly huge faces staring in at her talking with deep rumbly voices. He didn’t even know what to say, so he said the first thing that came to mind.
“Your panda needs a bath.”
She looked scandalized. Terrified. Horrified.
“Not right now, maybe tomorrow morning? We could go to the laundromat and wash him up. The blanket too.”
She looked down at the blanket forlornly.
“Dean,” said Cas. “I believe I may be able to help.”
Cas still had some angel juice left then, not much, but some. He reached his long delicate fingers out toward her.
“Little girl, may I see your bear?”
Dean slapped Cas’ shoulder. “It’s a panda and you can’t call her ‘little girl’, that sounds creepy.”
“We do not know her name. What should I call her?”
“Jesus, I mean,” he looked over at the girl quickly and then back at Cas. “Jeez,” he amended, “anything but ‘little girl.’ That’s like a ten out of ten on the pervert scale.”
“Small child, may I see your panda?”
Dean rolled his eyes. She didn’t move.
“See,” Dean began jerking a thumb at Cas. “He’s kind of like a magician. Do you know what a magician is? Well, Cas, is kind of like one and I bet he will make your panda clean without us having to put him in the washing machine. Pretty cool, huh?”
Suspicion. But perhaps a glimmer of interest.
“And he can do it right here, right now. Wouldn't that be great? I mean, you had a bath already, don’t you think your panda might want one too? It feels so good to be clean after you’ve been really dirty, doesn’t it?”
She moved an inch. Her lips curled into a thoughtful frown.
“Cas is a panda expert. He does this all the time.”
Cas stared at him until Dean hit him on the back of the head.
Cas turned to face the little girl. “I am an expert,” he intoned. “I do this all the time.”
She grudgingly handed the panda over. It took Cas only the blink of an eye and the white fur of the stuffed animal was glistening like new, the black turned shiny and deep. Cas handed the toy back to her and she touched it softly, turning it over. She looked at Cas like he was magic himself.
And then she handed him the blanket to do as well.
She came out from under the table and Dean led her back to bed before he settled in the chair. He heard a quiet rustle seconds later and then she climbed up his legs onto his lap. Cas looked up from the floor, resting up on his elbows.
“Why does she prefer you? I cleaned the panda.”
“Dude, it was my idea to clean the panda. I totally win.”
***
Of all the places Dean never thought he would be, he had never even considered putting “high-school band concert” on the list.
But here he is. With Cas. Listening to the band play “Symphony in G Minor” by Mozart.
He knows because it’s emblazoned on the program. The program he is being careful not to bend because it lists Faith’s name under the woodwind section.
Faith Winchester - Oboe
Dean didn’t even know what an oboe was until Faith joined band three years ago and that was the instrument she picked. It had a strange sing-song tone that he and Cas were intimately familiar with now, having heard hours of it coming from her room.
Sam and his wife Evelyn were supposed to come but the twins came down with a bug and their number one babysitter, the only one they trusted when the twins were sick, is currently playing the oboe on the small stage. Cas is recording it for them.
Dean’s pretty sure the way he’s aiming the recorder, he’s getting a whole lot of the gymnasium ceiling and not much else. It’s a good thing Faith is in band and it only matters what she sounds like, and not musical theatre where getting her actually on screen would matter too.
Even though she’s exceptionally easy to pick out with her blonde, blue and pink hair, Dean still slaps Cas on the arm when he spots her and points. Cas makes a low ‘mmhmm’ sound. At one point, during a lull, Faith’s eyes flick over to them and Dean waves like an idiot, arm making a huge sweep and he stupidly points at Cas too. Faith scrunches up her nose and drags a finger across her throat to tell him to cut it out.
Dean doesn’t know why, but he’s a little nervous. It’s not like Faith could or would make a mistake. But he’s bouncing his knee so much that without even looking over, Cas puts his hand on Dean’s kneecap to still it.
An hour and a half later they stand in the foyer of the school and wait for Faith, making chit chat with other parents.
Other parents. It still makes Dean a laugh a little. To these other parents, he and Cas are just Faith’s dads. Dean sees them all at the same school functions and they see him. He drives Faith and her friends to the movies and the first time Faith wanted to sleep over at Lindsay’s, he called Lindsay’s mother, Di, to make sure it was legit. Di called him last week when it was eleven o’clock at night and she didn’t know where her daughter was, only that it was past curfew and Lindsay was no where to be found. Dean had assured Di he hadn’t known Lindsay forgot to ask to stay over and offered to drive her home immediately. Di sighed and said that if Lindsay was over there, she was fine and she’d deal with it in the morning
Dean and Cas’ house is considered safe to her.
She and her husband, Roger, have no idea that Dean and his brother Sam stopped the apocalypse with the help of former angel gone rogue, Castiel. She doesn’t even know Cas stands for Castiel. She only knows him as Cas, Dean’s partner.
Roger sells tiles. Di’s in Real Estate. And they think Faith is a lovely, lovely girl and “are so happy that Lindsay’s finally got a friend with some smarts.”
Despite her blue and pink hair and propensity for dark eyeliner, Faith is the responsible one amongst her friends. Dean and Cas have raised a responsible kid.
If he wasn’t so damn proud of her, he would laugh at the idea. Of course it makes total sense that Cas would raise a responsible girl, but Dean’s still surprised that he was part of the equation.
Responsible though she might be, she dawdles and most of the foyer has cleared out after twenty minutes and Dean and Cas are still waiting for Faith. Roger and Di headed out as Lindsay already asked for and received permission to stay over at Dean and Cas’. And this time, Dean made sure Di knew about it.
Dean hears Lindsay’s booming voice coming down the long, linoleumed hallway and Faith’s not-much-quieter tones long before he sees them.
“Your dads are totally the hottest dads here.”
“Ew! Gross, they’re my dads.”
“My mother blushes when she talks to your dad on the phone.”
“Which one?”
“Both actually, but mostly Dean.”
“That’s so gross, Lins.”
He may be someone’s dad now, but the fact that he’s still considered hot makes him grin.
“It he wasn’t so old, I’d totally go for him.”
Well that takes the wind out of his sails. They must have stopped for something because their voices aren’t getting any closer. And yeah it’s wrong but he’s the dad of a teenage girl so he’s got to snoop sometimes to make sure she’s not doing drugs and other stuff he never knew he would have to worry about.
“Sick. And you would never stand a chance with my dad. Either of them.”
“Oh. ‘Cause of the gay.”
Dean cannot believe his life is getting dissected by teenage girls.
“Not even. It’s just… Like, if one of them was a girl, they’d still be together. That’s just the way they are. They’re kinda built for each other.”
“Aw! That is so romantic! And it’s so cute how they hold hands!”
He hears Faith snort. “It’s so sappy, right? But they’ve got it bad for each other. Even after, like, forever.”
Jesus, she makes it sound like he and Cas are ninety years old.
“It’s sweet,” Lindsay answers. “Hey, you think they’ll let us stop for mochas?”
“Ohmigod, I could really use one right now.”
“I know right?”
***
Three days after he found her and she still hadn’t spoken, Dean proclaimed they couldn’t keep calling her ‘her.’
She needed a name. If she couldn’t tell them her name, they could give her one.
Cas suggested Faith.
Dean rolled his eyes and made all the appropriate sounds but secretly, he liked it. He thought it suited her.
They brought a small but comfortable cot into the motel room and even purchased frilly pink sheets to go on it. Every night, Dean tucked her into the cot with her panda.
And every night for two weeks, he would wake up at some point to find her plastered to him, sandwiched between him and Cas.
By the third week, she stayed in her own bed, but Cas said her eyes tracked Dean where ever he went. When Dean was gone, she waited by the window until she saw the Impala pull up and then she would scoot over to the door and stand just inside until Dean opened it.
They moved in with Bobby and it was after a week there that she started talking again. She had her own small room with a bed and a dresser and Sam bought her pictures of Disney Princesses to put up on the wall. She would only say one or two words at a time to them, but one day as Dean was walking past her room, he saw she had set up a little tea party with her panda bear and blanket on the floor.
She was talking to the panda. It was so serious and matter of fact as she talked to her stuffed toy it broke Dean’s big gruff heart.
“Mummy and Daddy are dead. You didn’t see it ‘cause I put you in a box. They died and then not-Mummy and not-Daddy lived in the house for a while. We don’t live there anymore. We live with Dean and Cas now. Cas cleans stuff. Dean drives. Cas and Dean are like Mummy and Daddy ‘cause they live together and they love each other. But they are both daddies. You can have my old name ‘cause I have a new one. I’m Faith. And you’re Riley.” She paused as though letting her words sink into the panda. “It’s a good name. But I like Faith better.”
She poured imaginary tea from the kettle that Bobby had said she could use. She took a little sip from the coffee mug she had.
“Sam and Dean are brothers. We don’t have a brother anymore. Not-Mummy and Not-Daddy made him dead. They didn’t get you because I put you in the box. And we hid. You’re lucky, I’m a good hider.”
Oh shit, thought Dean. He had never even thought of siblings.
“And then Dean found us and now we live with Dean and Cas,” she finished. She put her mug down and stared hard at the panda like she was listening.
“Don’t be sad about it.”
Dean shook his head to clear it and then he knocked on the door frame. Faith looked up at him and smiled.
“Tea party, huh?” he said roughly. She nodded. “I love tea parties. Can I join?”
***
Faith loves to bake and she makes awesome cakes. Dean’s mouth is already watering as she sets down Cas’ birthday cake on the table.
Banana-chocolate chip in chocolate batter with fudge icing. She made Cas look through six recipes and pick one.
She’s not so good at the decorations and the icing is messy and crooked, dripping off the edges in long, sugary spikes. Happy B-Day Papa Cas! is scrawled in hot pink icing on top of the fudge mixture that covers the rest of the cake.
“Looks good, Faithy,” says Dean.
Cas looks happy too as he blows out the candles that proclaim he’s twenty-nine.
Cas has been twenty-nine every year since Faith found out that Cas didn’t have a birthday and insisted he have one. She had been horrified that not only did he not have a birthday, he didn’t know how old he was. She had proclaimed that day, April sixth, his birthday and told him he was twenty-nine, because that was ‘real big.’
Since it’s Cas’ birthday, Faith presents him with the knife. “Birthday person cuts,” she says with a smile. Cas slices them huge pieces of chocolate cake and they all dig in. Dean gets a blob of chocolate on his chin and Cas thumbs it off absently while Faith rolls her eyes and wrinkles her nose.
“What are you and your friends up to tonight?” asks Cas between bites.
A shrug. “Dunno. Lins and I are gonna meet at the mall ‘cause there’s a new lipstick I want and then…” she shrugs again.
Dean cuts a big bite with his fork. “Is Lindsay driving?”
“She is unless you let me take the Impala?” Faith asks brightly.
“Ha ha, no,” Dean says easily and Faith slumps dramatically.
“You may take my car if you put gas in it,” replies Cas.
“Naw, Lins will drive. S’okay.”
“What’s wrong with my car?” Cas asks with a frown.
Dean starts counting off on his fingers. “One, it’s foreign. Two, it screams ‘dad car.’”
“I am a dad and it is my car.”
“Three, it’s not the Impala.”
“But if she can’t have the Impala…” Cas trails off as he reaches under the table and snatches Faith’s microcomputer from her busy fingers. “No computers at the table.”
“I was in the middle of something!”
“Something that shouldn’t have been started at the table,” Cas says as he closes the tiny computer and sets it out of reach.
She gives a disgusted sigh. Then, slight forgotten, she turns back to Cas. “ Is Daddy D taking you out?”
“We’re staying in to watch a movie.”
“That’s so lame! It’s your birthday!” Faith gives an outraged look to Dean.
“His birthday, his choice.”
“Lame,” she proclaims again, shoveling cake in her mouth with the frantic energy of the young. Dean squeezes Cas’ knee under the table. They have plans but they aren’t the kind you share with your teenage daughter.
“Kay,” she says, mouth full of cake. “I gotta get ready, Lins will be here in an hour.”
“What’s wrong with what you have on?” Cas asks.
“I can’t go out like this!” she exclaims as she stands, gesturing to her perfectly fine jeans and t-shirt.
Dean laughs. “You’re breaking the bank with all the hot water you use.”
“Price of beauty, Daddy D.” She leans over and leaves a chocolate kiss on Cas cheek. “Happy birthday.”
Cas hugs her back. “Thank you, Faith. The cake is excellent. Best one yet.”
***
As it turned out, Dean knew a lot about women, but he didn’t know fuck all about girls. Cas wasn’t much better but he lacked the social embarrassment that stopped Dean at times and would simply plow forward when necessary.
They left Faith with Bobby and Sam so he and Cas could shop for her. He felt like a complete pervert hanging around the little girl section of the Wal-mart and he didn’t even want to look sideways at the packages of little-girl underwear.
Luckily, Cas felt no such shame and picked up packages and started reading about sizes and fit, putting things back on the rack and putting others in the cart. Cas picked out outfits for Faith in purple, pink, orange and green. Matchy-matchy the way only girls under ten and women over sixty can pull off. Cas picked out dresses, tights to go with the dresses and shoes.
Dean had to admit the shoes were cute. Shiny black with an impossibly tiny strap. He actually worried how he and Cas would ever securely fasten such a tiny buckle with their big hands. Cas got her small sneakers too.
It was standing in that Wal-mart, watching Cas waffle between the Ariel pajamas and the Belle ones that Dean realized he had a family.
Not that he didn’t have one before. His mother, his father, Sam. The tiny Winchester nuclear unit that barely had a chance. Then just his father and Sam. Then Bobby, Ellen and Jo… They were all his family, of course. But now, inside that larger circle that contained all of them in his mind and his heart, it was like he had a subset circle for just him, Cas and Faith. No one had ever questioned it, but from the moment he brought Faith home, everyone assumed that Cas, Dean and Faith were now a family too. Even Faith had figured it out. Dean remembered the tea party where she had explained to her panda that Dean and Cas were just like Mummy and Daddy.
It took him a second to realize that Cas was asking him a question.
“What?” he said.
“This one has a fish tail. Do little girls like that? Fish tails?”
“She’s a mermaid, I think. She gives up her tail to meet a boy.”
Cas frowned. “That’s a foolish thing to do, what if she ends up not liking the boy?”
Dean shrugged. “Got me.”
“Hmmm. I will pick the one in the yellow dress then.” He tossed the pajamas with Belle on them in the cart.
“We’re a family now,” Dean stated.
Cas stared at Dean like he was an idiot. “Of course we are.”
***
The doorbell rings and Faith yells down the stairs.
“I got it. Don’t touch it!”
Dean stands next to the door and Cas leans against the doorjamb watching from the kitchen. Faith tromps down the stairs louder than a herd of elephants. Her skirt is too short but before Dean can say something about it, she’s wagging a finger in Dean’s face.
“Don’t say anything about guns or knives or hunting. Promise.”
Dean gives her a wide innocent look. She turns on Cas.
“And nothing about smiting. Jesus. Don’t scare him off.”
Cas doesn’t even have a chance to say something before she turns again, smoothes her outfit and opens the door. Then it’s all girlish smiles and feet shuffling.
“Dads, this is Luke. Luke, these are my dads, Dean and Cas.” She jerks a thumb quickly at both of them and Dean gets the distinct impression that she’d have them wear bags over their heads if she could.
“Uh, hello, sirs.”
Luke is all gangly limbs and young boy angles. His black hair is longer than Sam’s ever was but it’s pushed back from his face and he meets both Dean’s and Cas’ eyes. His jeans are dark and unripped, his shirt is tucked in. He holds his hand out to Dean to shake and when Dean doesn’t take it at first, Faith stomps one of her heeled shoes and gives him a look.
“Dad,” she hisses, her face contorted.
Dean purses his lips. “Hmmph.” He says as he grips Luke’s hand a little tighter than he should. Luke’s eyes widen slightly but he doesn’t say anything.
Faith is shrugging into her coat. “There you met him. ‘Kay, bye.”
“Curfew is eleven,” Cas says from the kitchen doorway.
“Twelve,” Faith counters.
Cas says nothing in return. He stares at Faith and then turns his icy blue gaze to Luke.
“I’ll have her home by eleven, sirs.”
“I’m sure you will,” Cas says evenly.
Faith groans and pulls the door shut hard behind her, slamming it.
***
Fridays were pizza and movie night. Dean picked one up on the way home after work.
As usual, as soon as he stepped in the door, Faith was all over him.
“Daddy D! You’re back! You’re seven minutes late today.”
“You and Papa Cas are working on your time telling, huh?”
“Yes and normally you get home at five thirty but now it’s five thirty-seven.” She looked over at the clock and gasped. “Oh! Five thirty-eight!”
“Oh no!” Dean exclaimed as he kicked his shoes off.
“Faith,” called Cas, “let him get in the door at least.”
Faith furrowed her six year old eyebrows in annoyance and it was like looking at a little Castiel. Dean laughed.
“What movie did you pick for tonight?”
“It’s one with a pig that talks and the pig gets separated from his mom but he goes to live on a farm and has another family.”
Dean gave Cas a significant look over Faith’s head. A look that said, ‘Is that a good idea?’ referring to Faith’s history. Cas shrugged and gave Dean a look right back. A ‘she picked the movie and you try telling her no,’ look.
Faith tugged at Dean’s free hand, the one that wasn’t holding pizza. “Come on. You’re taking forever.”
After pizza, Faith changed into her pajamas and it was her job to put the DVD in and press the buttons. From the couch, with one arm around Cas and his feet propped up on the coffee table, Dean watched as her little face pinched up making sure she carefully hit all the right buttons. She looked up at the screen and was satisfied when she saw the opening previews start.
She hopped up on the couch, making herself a spot in the unselfconscious way of children, pushing Dean a little to the left and Cas a little to the right, until she was pressed tight in between them. Like a tiny mole, she burrowed her butt down until she was comfortable. Cas laughed and met Dean’s eye over her head.
“Just another romantic evening at home,” Cas said dryly.
“What’s romantic?” piped Faith.
“I’ll tell you when you’re old enough, which will be half past never o’clock,” Cas said with a playful grin and then tickled her knee which always made her squeal.
“That’s not a real time!” Faith protested and she poked her little finger into Cas’ ribs hard. He gave a mock ‘oof’ of pain.
They settled in to watch the movie. There was a tense moment when the little pig cried that he wanted his mother and Faith turned her head into Dean’s armpit and wouldn’t look back at the screen until Cas told her that the pig was now happy on the farm.
By the end of the movie, Faith appeared to have forgotten her sadness and she was all smiles and giggles as the pig, Babe, rounded up the sheep and Farmer Hogget told him, “That’ll do pig.”
They tucked her in and headed back downstairs to the couch. While Faith’s bedtime is nine on Fridays, it was a little early for Dean and Cas to call it a night.
“I’ve been thinking,” started Dean. “We should probably find out if Faith has any family left.”
“Yes,” said Cas slowly. “If she has family out there, it’s cruel to let them think she perished as well.”
“Yeah. I remember where I found her. Of course I know the city, but I mean the address. That should be all we need, I shouldn’t have to ask her anything. If she even remembers.” Dean peeled the label of his beer bottle. “It’s wrong, isn’t it? That I’m hoping she doesn’t have any family left. That’s… Jesus, that’s a terrible thing to think.”
“You’re not thinking it because you wish it true for her. You’re wishing it true for us. For what we’ve become. What we are. We’re a family. And if Faith has blood relatives, it’s wonderful for her, but… ”
“It’s shitty for us.”
“Yes.”
He felt his heart speed up. “What if we find somebody and they want her and they won’t let us see her? Or they could be, I dunno, from France or some shit and take her over there.”
“Dean.”
His breathing became quick and rushed. “Or serial killers? They could be serial killers or weird perverts.”
“Dean.”
“Jesus, I know what kind of monsters are out there and humans are the worst.”
Cas took Dean’s beer bottle away and set it carefully on the coffee table. He put one hand around Dean’s neck and pulled him in until their foreheads were touching. Neither one of them said anything while they rested their heads together. After a few minutes, Dean felt better.
Cas pulled back a bit. “Why don’t you ask Sam to research it for us?”
Dean nodded and took a shaky breath. “Yeah. He’s good at stuff like that.”
***
Faith is crying.
It’s horrible, teenage girl crying, with mascara running, hitching breaths and a crumpled up kleenex ball that she won’t discard but instead keeps adding more tissue to.
Cas holds the tissue box for her. Dean sits beside her. He tried to rub her back and that makes her cry more so he’s keeping his hands to himself now, awkwardly setting them in his lap.
“Just tell us what it is and we’ll fix it,” Dean says finally.
“I t-t-told you, you c-c-can’t!”
“Faith, we stopped the apocalypse,”says Cas solemnly. “Whatever it is, we can fix it.” He looks up at Dean questioningly and Dean gives him the thumbs up.
She lets out a long, phlegmy sigh. “You won’t understand.”
“Well you won’t know until you tell us,” counters Dean.
Faith pushes herself up from the couch. “I’m going to my room. Leave me alone.”
Cas and Dean stare at each other and Cas flinches when Faith slams her door. Seconds later the sound of techno music comes blasting down the stairs.
“What the fuck was that all about?” Dean demands.
Cas just looks bewildered and shakes his head. “I’ve no idea but if that boy Luke is behind it, I’ll find a way to smite him.”
So they do the only thing they can think of.
They call Sam’s wife, Evelyn.
She’s at their house a half-hour later. Dean always thought it was funny that as big as Sam is, Evelyn is petite. At only five-foot two, even Faith is taller than her. Evelyn’s not a pretty little thing, she’s a gorgeous little thing and as she takes off coat and shoes her green eyes settle on Dean’s.
“What’s up?”
“She’s crying! And now she’s in her room and won’t come out.”
Evelyn makes soft little ‘mmm-hmm’ sounds. “You big boys stay down here.” She snaps her fingers in front of Dean’s face. “No eavesdropping!”
Evelyn makes it into Faith’s room and the music goes quiet. Dean and Cas stand at the bottom of the stairs and stare upward.
After an hour they’ve migrated to the kitchen. Dean rolls a beer bottle back and forth between his hands until Cas can’t stand the sound of it against the table and leans over and plucks it from Dean’s fingers. Dean wrinkles his nose at him.
After another hour, they’re watching tv. Cas’ fingers are tapping a staccato on his knee and even though the rhythm is steady and precise, it’s driving Dean mad. He reaches over and puts his hand over Cas to stop it.
After two and a half hours, Evelyn comes downstairs. Dean and Cas both bolt up from the couch like they’ve been shot.
“Was it the boy? That Luke boy?” asks Castiel. “Because I could perhaps persuade someone to smite him.”
“Or we can just go over there and hurt him a bit. Or a lot,” Dean adds.
“You two,” Evelyn says as she puts her coat back on and rolls her eyes. “No, it wasn’t Luke, you leave that poor boy alone. She’s fine, it’s all fine.”
And that’s all she says. Dean leans forward.
“Well? What was it?”
Evelyn purses her lips. “I promised I wouldn’t tell you.” Before Dean goes apoplectic on her, she continues. “If I thought you needed to know, I would tell you. I’m a mom, I know how you worry. But she asked me to promise and I did and if she thinks she can tell me stuff and it’s safe…”
“Then she’ll come talk to you when she needs to,” finishes Cas and he sighs.
“Yeah,” says Evelyn with a nod. “You guys have been lucky with her, when I think about what I put my parents through when I was a teenager… My dad was afraid to talk to me because it always ended in tears or a shouting match. And my mother… yeesh.” She flaps her hands as she dismisses the thought. “She’s okay. I promise. She just needed some girl time. And she’s all cried out now so I told her to just wash her face and go to bed.” She gives them both a look. “Don’t push her. She’s like an itty-bitty bird after all that.”
She gives them both a hug and Cas thanks her again for coming and she shoos away his thanks with a simple, “We’re family”
The door closes shut behind her and Dean and Cas face each other.
“Girls are hard,” Dean says.
“Indeed.”
***
“I can’t find anyone.”
It was wrong, so wrong and he knew it but Dean let out a sigh of relief anyway.
“Really? How far did you check?”
Sam pulled out his folder and set it on the kitchen table. At the moment, Faith was plunked down in front of the television watching Dora the Explorer. Cas was standing in the doorway of the kitchen so he could keep one eye on her and an ear on the conversation Dean and Sam were having.
“Far enough, I think,” Sam answered as he flipped the folder open. “As you already knew, her parents were dead. The town was pretty ransacked, I mean, that’s what happens when you’re apocalypse central. There was a… well it was a clean up crew of sorts that went through the town and they opened up all the houses and took care of all the… bodies. They found Faith’s parents and her brother.”
Sam put a set of papers in front of Dean and he read them over. Death certificates for Kevin and Elizabeth Folstrum, 34 and 33 respectively, as well as their son, Todd, 8.
And their daughter, Riley Elizabeth, no body found, listed as five years old at the time of her death.
It was a sucker punch to his gut. Technically, he was holding Faith’s death certificate. He handed it over with shaky hands to Cas who perused it quickly and slid it back on the table, face down and then rested his hand on Dean’s shoulder.
“Uh, Elizabeth’s parents lived in town too, but they, uh, didn’t survive the apocalypse either. Not demon possession, they were older and just… they didn’t make it.” Sam flipped through some other papers. “Kevin’s parents were already dead, they died when before he and Elizabeth got married. He was an only child. Elizabeth had a sister, but… well she lived in town and the demons… well you get the picture. She wasn’t married.”
Out of her entire family, Faith was the only survivor. Jesus, someday he and Cas were gonna have to tell her all this. She would want to know. She deserved to know.
“Thanks. Thanks, man, really,” Dean said. Not sure what else to add.
“I’ll leave these papers with you guys. For Faith. When she’s older.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
Cas looked down sharply as he felt Faith’s hand tug his pants.
“Yes, Faith?”
“Are you guys done with Uncle Sam now? Last time he said he’d make me a special Uncle Sam-wich.” She stared at Sam accusingly and Sam laughed.
“I did, I promised. Or,” Sam said teasingly. “We could go for ice cream? Oh, but you probably don’t even like…”
Faith rushed forward and clutched Sam’s leg like her life depended on it. “No! No, I do, I do! Daddies please, can I go?”
Dean looked down at her large dark eyes, so full of despair and fear that he’s going to tell her she can’t go for ice cream. He looked at Cas who smiled and shrugged. Dean stared at Sam. “You’re gonna fire up all her cylinders on sugar and then drop her off and disappear, aren’t you?”
“Dean, that’s what uncles do.”
Sam stood and held out his giant Sam paw for Faith to slide her tiny fingers into.
“Just wait till you have kids, Sammy,” Dean yelled after them. “Then Cas and I are gonna feed them pop and donuts until they’re just about to puke and leave them on your doorstep.”
Sam turned around quickly and stuck his tongue out at Dean.
***
Faith comes barreling into the den where Cas is watching Wimbeldon. He frowns at the frantic look in her eyes.
“Daddy D says he’s going to the grocery store.”
“Oh fuck,” Cas replies. “Where are his keys?”
She tosses them high and he easily snatches them out of the air and stuffs them in his pocket just as Dean ambles into the den.
“Have you seen my keys?”
Cas shakes his head. “No. Going somewhere?”
Dean absently checks the sofa table and a few sofa cushions next to Cas’ recliner.
“I was gonna go to the grocery store.”
“Oh,” nods Cas. “You know, Faith was just trying to convince me to let her take my car so she could get a mocha. Faith, I’ll let you take the car if you stop off at the store for Dean.”
“You bet,” Faith nods enthusiastically.
“Naw, I’ll just do a quick run once I find my keys. If you want, you can come with me and then we’ll stop for coffee.”
Faith shoots Cas a nervous look that goes unnoticed by Dean as he searches. “No,” she says suddenly.
Dean looks up. “No?”
She falters for a moment and Cas steps in. “I think what Faith is saying is that she was looking forward to going on her own. Independent.”
Faith bobs her head up and down. “Yeah, so, uh, what do you want?”
Dean shrugs. “Some chips, you know those ones that have all the flavor.”
Her head bobs faster in rabid agreement. Anything to keep Dean from the grocery store.
“And some soda. And some plain chips and dip but not that weird kind Cas got last time.”
“For sure,” answers Faith. “Um, can I have some money?” She holds her hand out and Dean eyeballs it before grudgingly slapping down cash in her open palm.
“No speeding. No music on.”
“Yep.” She’s already out of the den and at the front door.
“Where the hell did I put my keys?” Dean wonders and Cas shrugs.
***
After ‘the incident’ Cas vowed Dean would never go into a grocery store again.
It began as a simple trip to the store. Cas had the list, Dean pushed the cart, Faith swung her seven year old legs lazily from the child seat and clutched her panda close.
“How is this place organized? How the hell are you supposed to find anything?” Dean grumbled.
“All the fresh food is on the outside and then preserved food is in the aisles.”
“How do you know that? Who knows those things?”
Cas glanced around, his expression clearly indicating it was obvious if you looked and then added, “It was on the Food Network.”
“Is that where this latest recipe is from?” Dean asked, flicking Cas’ list with his finger. “Because the last one sucked.”
“Sucked,” parroted Faith.
Cas frowned significantly at Dean. “Language. And that was a healthy makeover of Mac and cheese.”
“Mac and cheese should not ever, and I mean ever, have squash in it.”
“It helped reduce the dairy by thirty percent. And it was low in sodium.”
“It sucked.”
“Sucked.” Faith was an expert at repeating what Dean said.
“You liked it,” Cas said to Faith. “The macaroni with orange stuff?”
Faith looked back at Dean. “Didn’t suck.”
Dean rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” The cart wheels locked up and the whole thing started sliding right. “What the fuck? Who builds these things?” He pushed it back and forth crazily, making Faith’s head roll like a rag doll. She giggled.
“Dean.” Cas placed his hand on the cart and pulled it gently backward once and then it went forward without a hitch.
Dean narrowly avoided a couple in shopping coma, their eyes glazed over and not really looking anywhere but at the shelf in front of them. Two seconds after that a woman in hideous red loafers brought her cart to a dead stop and Dean almost rammed into her.
“Jesus!” he exclaimed. Red-Loafers turned, saw Faith and gave Dean a pointed look. Dean scowled. “Right, like I’m the asshole,” he muttered and pushed the cart around her.
In front of the dairy section, a woman had stopped her cart in the center, blocking the entire aisle. She was studying the milk like she’d never seen it before. Dean managed three seconds of silence before he broke.
“It’s milk. Comes from cows. It’s the same as it was fifty years ago and the same as it will be fifty years from now. Just pick one.” He reached over her and yanked open the dairy case and grabbed a small whole milk container and handed it to Cas. Once Dean had turned away, Cas swapped it out for 2%.
Dean was trying to reverse the shopping cart out of the aisle, pointedly ignoring the dirty look he was getting. If shopping carts steer badly while going forward, they are worse going backward. The wheels locked then released, Dean pushed and pulled, Faith rocked back and forth gleefully like it was a ride at Disneyland.
And then Dean just snapped.
“Motherfucker! What is wrong with these things? And why does everyone have to be all Stepford-y? I’d Christo the lot of them if I thought it would help. Jesus, there oughtta be a system. Like lanes for driving and lights, because it’s not right to just stop in the middle of the fucking aisle. It’s like their brains just leak out of their ears the second they step in, and this cart is broken, goddammit.”
“Dean!”
“What?” he exclaimed.
Cas had his serious face on. The ‘Do not fuck with me Dean Winchester’ face. The same face he wore when he first met Dean. Cas easily took the cart from Dean and steered it away.
“Go wait in the car,” he called firmly over his shoulder as he left Dean huffing just outside of Dairy, next to Meats.
“Goddammit,” Faith called over Cas’ shoulder.
***
Dean knocks on her door and waits for Faith to give him permission to enter.
When she does, he wishes he could say he’s surprised by the disaster that meets him. Clothes, makeup, jewelry, books, her computer, textbooks… Holy fuck. What a nightmare.
But that’s not what he’s here for. He carefully picks his way over to the bed where she’s looking up from her magazine.
It should be an olympic event. He can’t even tell there’s carpet in here.
“Cas showed me your tattoo picture.”
Magazine is tossed aside and she’s all ears now. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’m listening now. Tell me why you want it.”
She looks up for a second as she thinks. “It’s like… when I was thirteen and I asked you about my mom and dad and then Todd too and you and Cas told me what had happened to them… and how you found me and you brought me home with you… I didn’t know at first if I wanted to have them for a family. Like I did, but I was mad too. I was mad that they left me.” He starts to say something but stops when he realizes she’s not done. “I mean, I know they didn’t leave me, they died. But I was mad, you know? Like they left me behind. And then I felt really bad about being angry ‘cause it’s not their fault they died. And if they knew what was happening… like Jesus, that must have been awful. That’s really fucked up and sad and horrible. But then you found me and you and Cas became my dads and I’m happy. And sometimes I think… I feel like… like maybe I need something that’s for them. But I don’t want it to be something sad and awful. I want it to be something happy and pretty. So I picked the tree.”
He’s afraid if he says anything right now he’ll start crying and Cas will come back from grocery shopping and find him crying like a baby on their daughter’s bed and that will be really embarrassing. So all he does for a few seconds is nod.
“Okay,” he finally says.
“Okay like ‘okay’?” she asks hopefully.
“Yes. But Cas and I get to pick the place. You’re not going to go to some chop shop and get hep-C or something.”
She squeals and before he has time to brace himself she’s launched herself at him and he’s got a mouthful of blond, pink and blue hair and it tastes like… blue raspberry.
“What is this in your hair anyway?”
“It’s kool-aid. What did you think it was?”
***
“You knew why she wanted it, didn’t you?”
Dean’s just crawling into bed and Cas looks up from his current copy of National Geographic. He loves that magazine. Cas takes his black wire glasses off as he looks at Dean, folds them carefully and places them on his nightstand.
“I suspected. I didn’t know for sure.”
“How? How did you suspect?” Dean’s incredulous.
Cas shifts closer to Dean as Dean gets under the covers. “Dean. How can you not see it? She’s not yours biologically, but she’s yours in every other way. She’s just like you and like you she always has reasons for what she does. Will she share them? No. Will she want to blurt them out to us? Probably not. But the most important thing to her is the same thing that is most important to you. Family.” Cas pauses and thinks for a second before amending his words. “And greasy food. But family first.”
“You’re pretty smart for a fallen angel.”
Cas’ eyebrows shoot up in mock indignation. “Funny.”
“So. Here we are, couple of old guys with nothing to do on a Saturday night,” Dean says quietly as his hand snakes around Cas’ waist.
“Tragic,” Cas replies as he scoots down lower in bed and gives Dean’s shoulder a tug. Dean lands on him with an ‘oof’ escaping from his lungs.
“Careful with the goods, man. You break it you buy it.”
“I purchased it quite some time ago,” Cas says and then frowns. “I wonder if it’s too late to get a refund.”
“Shut up and kiss me.”