Dark Shadows - Metaphysical Gravity - Ch. 12 - Chuck Shurley, Vampire BFF
Previous Chapter Here
It’s not that Chuck misses being a walking restaurant for a vampire. It really isn’t.
Okay, maybe it is. Just a little. But it’s not what you think.
He knows it’s creepy and sick. Weird and unnatural.
But he’d kind of gotten used to it.
If you had asked him, he would have sworn he hated it. And he did. He does.
It’s just that he misses it. Just a little. Way in the back of his brain where no one peeks in and no thoughts are ever gonna escape out of.
And maybe, just maybe he misses the post-feeding talks. Well, Castiel would talk and Chuck would just listen but whatever. He misses it. It was… special. It made him feel special
He sort of liked being special.
In some ways he still is. He’s still the only one that knows Castiel’s true nature. But it’s not the same.
He’s not jealous of Dean. He really isn’t. It isn’t like that. What Dean has with Castiel is nothing like what Chuck had. He doesn’t think of Castiel that way. God, no. That would be… well, weird wouldn’t even start to cover it. And he’s not envious either because he doesn’t want what Dean and Castiel have together.
Plus he’s kinda got his own thing going on with Becky. They had dinner the other night and when she found out how much he did for Castiel, she seemed really impressed. She seems to like him and he likes her and it’s new and scary.
But he does like being around Castiel, his commanding but quiet presence. When Chuck’s around him, he feels like he doesn’t have to worry about anything. It will all be taken care of. He’ll be taken care of. And that’s nice.
So when Castiel calls him, when Chuck feels the steady pull against his brain, the sensation inside his skull that means come here come here come here he literally drops what he is doing, dishes breaking in the sink with the force of the fall, and leaves for Collinwood.
It’s mid-afternoon, coming on early evening, the time of day when people are leaving one place and heading to another, trying to get everything they want accomplished in one day finished.
It’s sunny, so Castiel won’t be out.
He’s been doing pretty well on the blood bank supplies, Chuck thinks. Not that they talk about it or anything, but he doesn’t appear to not be doing well, so the absence of a bad reaction must be considered a good one.
He rushes up the front steps and raps quickly on the door. It swings open, seemingly of its own free will, but as Chuck steps inside and allows his eyes to adjust to the dim light, he sees Castiel standing behind the door.
“Charles.”
“I came as soon as you called.”
“Of course you did. Thank you.”
The door shuts behind him and they are left in the partial light that the treated glass windows let in.
Chuck doesn’t say anything as Castiel leads his way to the study, down the long hallway, just before the entrance to the kitchen. He waits for Castiel to take a seat in one of the large chairs in front of the fireplace and he happily takes a perch on one of the ottomans, hitching it just a little bit closer to Castiel’s chair.
“What can I do for you?”
“I have been thinking.”
Chuck nods and patiently waits for Castiel to continue.
“Do you know how I came to be the creature that I am?”
Chuck nods a bit slower this time, casting his eyes downward for a moment. “Yes,” he says quietly. “I… had a… dream. I saw you and Dean. And a woman… a witch… Ruby.”
“Yes. Ruby.” Castiel’s voice has gone cold, the low, frigid tone that he hardly ever uses around Chuck anymore.
“And Dean… well… I saw him die,” Chuck finishes quietly.
“You saw me kill him,” says Castiel. His voice has a strange calmness to it. It’s not a comforting tone.
“Yes, I mean no. I mean… I saw what you did. I saw what you were trying to do. It wasn’t your fault.” Chuck’s eyes are large, sympathetic pools as he looks up at Castiel. Castiel’s gaze is shuttered. Chuck could be discussing the weather for all the emotion Castiel is showing.
“I was a fool to trust Ruby. To even consider that I could make a bargain with her.”
“She betrayed you. It wasn’t your fault,” Chuck repeats.
Castiel’s eyes make Chuck’s heart rabbit beat. “I knew what she wanted. I knew what she was. I made a deal anyway. The only surprise was that I was foolish enough to trust her.”
“Well,” says Chuck quietly. “You wanted to believe her. You were desperate. She counted on that.”
“She orchestrated everything, did she not?” Castiel asks, blue irises searching Chuck.
Chuck bobs his head. “Yes. She was responsible for the accident.”
It’s Castiel’s turn to nod. “I had thought so, but had no way to confirm. But,” he says taking in a cleansing breath. “That is not why I called you here. I require assistance.”
Chuck’s chest swells with pride at the sentence. “Of course, yeah. What do you need?”
“Aside from myself, you alone know how I came to be what I am.”
Castiel pauses as though he’s afraid of what he will say next.
“I want you to help me find a way to undo it.”
“Is that… I mean, you must think it’s possible or you wouldn’t ask, but…”
“I don’t know that it is possible. I hope that it is.”
“I’ll do whatever I can, you know I will. Where would you like me to start?”
“Ruby. I need you to do some research on Ruby. I can give you the names of her immediate family, perhaps some of her acquaintances. But I would like you to go through the city records and find out what you can. Find out what happened to her belongings after she died. At the time I simply did not care, but if it’s possible to trace her things… that would be the best place to start.”
Chuck nods. “Uh, yeah,” he says, mind turning over, wondering how in the hell he’s going to be able to do all this. “I can start that, for sure.”
“I would like to start researching myself, so I would like you to purchase me a computer and then instruct me in how to use the internet.”
Chuck blinks. This conversation is suddenly feeling quite surreal.
“And if I am to be able to purchase things, I will need a credit card.” Castiel says the word slowly, mouth forming around the foreign sounds. “This can be obtained through the bank, correct?”
“Yeah, uh, normally you have to go to them and set stuff up, but you probably have enough money that they’ll come to you. I can find out.”
“Excellent.”
“You don’t… I mean, you don’t want to be a vampire?” the words are out of his mouth before he can stop them. “It’s just… immortality and strength. Power.”
“I am an abomination of nature. The power and strength,” he waves his hand dismissively. “These are trivial things. They mean nothing. Immortality is… something I would not wish on an enemy. It’s a never ending slog toward a future where everyone you love, everything you know, falls away exhausted by the journey and you’re left alone, marching, watching the past rot behind you.”
“Oh, I… oh,” breathes Chuck lamely. “I thought… I thought maybe… because you’re so powerful, and my whole life I’ve just been Chuck Shurley, and no one really notices me, but people notice you. They want to be noticed by you and that’s… I never had that.”
Castiel pauses to considers his words. He doesn’t dismiss them immediately out of hand and Chuck feels surer about speaking out.
“I cannot ever be sure if people notice me or if they are noticing my otherness. Occasionally, people are drawn to my power, and I have struggled with remembering that they do not know me. They know nothing of me, and yet they will fall at my feet. It can be… misleading. And this ability came at a terribly price.”
“Do you think… do you think you can go back to normal?” Chuck waves his hands around. “I mean, separate from a cure.”
“It is a question I have asked myself many times. Can I go back, or will the knowledge of what I can become hang over me? I long for normalcy. I long for the simple things that other people do not even notice. The need to purchase food, the need for sleep. Above all, I do not wish to be alone. The very nature of what I am is a solitary creature. How can I ever truly have friends, family, a lover, if I am immortal and separate from everyone?”
Chuck fiddles with a stray thread from his jeans. “Yeah, I can understand that. I mean, obviously I’m not… because like I said, I’m just Chuck. Chuck Shurley, but… I… you’ve been really lonely for a long time. Haven’t you?” he gushes.
“Yes. I have.”
Chuck squares his shoulders. “Okay then. Let’s find a cure.”
Next Chapter - 13 - That Secret That You Know
It’s not that Chuck misses being a walking restaurant for a vampire. It really isn’t.
Okay, maybe it is. Just a little. But it’s not what you think.
He knows it’s creepy and sick. Weird and unnatural.
But he’d kind of gotten used to it.
If you had asked him, he would have sworn he hated it. And he did. He does.
It’s just that he misses it. Just a little. Way in the back of his brain where no one peeks in and no thoughts are ever gonna escape out of.
And maybe, just maybe he misses the post-feeding talks. Well, Castiel would talk and Chuck would just listen but whatever. He misses it. It was… special. It made him feel special
He sort of liked being special.
In some ways he still is. He’s still the only one that knows Castiel’s true nature. But it’s not the same.
He’s not jealous of Dean. He really isn’t. It isn’t like that. What Dean has with Castiel is nothing like what Chuck had. He doesn’t think of Castiel that way. God, no. That would be… well, weird wouldn’t even start to cover it. And he’s not envious either because he doesn’t want what Dean and Castiel have together.
Plus he’s kinda got his own thing going on with Becky. They had dinner the other night and when she found out how much he did for Castiel, she seemed really impressed. She seems to like him and he likes her and it’s new and scary.
But he does like being around Castiel, his commanding but quiet presence. When Chuck’s around him, he feels like he doesn’t have to worry about anything. It will all be taken care of. He’ll be taken care of. And that’s nice.
So when Castiel calls him, when Chuck feels the steady pull against his brain, the sensation inside his skull that means come here come here come here he literally drops what he is doing, dishes breaking in the sink with the force of the fall, and leaves for Collinwood.
It’s mid-afternoon, coming on early evening, the time of day when people are leaving one place and heading to another, trying to get everything they want accomplished in one day finished.
It’s sunny, so Castiel won’t be out.
He’s been doing pretty well on the blood bank supplies, Chuck thinks. Not that they talk about it or anything, but he doesn’t appear to not be doing well, so the absence of a bad reaction must be considered a good one.
He rushes up the front steps and raps quickly on the door. It swings open, seemingly of its own free will, but as Chuck steps inside and allows his eyes to adjust to the dim light, he sees Castiel standing behind the door.
“Charles.”
“I came as soon as you called.”
“Of course you did. Thank you.”
The door shuts behind him and they are left in the partial light that the treated glass windows let in.
Chuck doesn’t say anything as Castiel leads his way to the study, down the long hallway, just before the entrance to the kitchen. He waits for Castiel to take a seat in one of the large chairs in front of the fireplace and he happily takes a perch on one of the ottomans, hitching it just a little bit closer to Castiel’s chair.
“What can I do for you?”
“I have been thinking.”
Chuck nods and patiently waits for Castiel to continue.
“Do you know how I came to be the creature that I am?”
Chuck nods a bit slower this time, casting his eyes downward for a moment. “Yes,” he says quietly. “I… had a… dream. I saw you and Dean. And a woman… a witch… Ruby.”
“Yes. Ruby.” Castiel’s voice has gone cold, the low, frigid tone that he hardly ever uses around Chuck anymore.
“And Dean… well… I saw him die,” Chuck finishes quietly.
“You saw me kill him,” says Castiel. His voice has a strange calmness to it. It’s not a comforting tone.
“Yes, I mean no. I mean… I saw what you did. I saw what you were trying to do. It wasn’t your fault.” Chuck’s eyes are large, sympathetic pools as he looks up at Castiel. Castiel’s gaze is shuttered. Chuck could be discussing the weather for all the emotion Castiel is showing.
“I was a fool to trust Ruby. To even consider that I could make a bargain with her.”
“She betrayed you. It wasn’t your fault,” Chuck repeats.
Castiel’s eyes make Chuck’s heart rabbit beat. “I knew what she wanted. I knew what she was. I made a deal anyway. The only surprise was that I was foolish enough to trust her.”
“Well,” says Chuck quietly. “You wanted to believe her. You were desperate. She counted on that.”
“She orchestrated everything, did she not?” Castiel asks, blue irises searching Chuck.
Chuck bobs his head. “Yes. She was responsible for the accident.”
It’s Castiel’s turn to nod. “I had thought so, but had no way to confirm. But,” he says taking in a cleansing breath. “That is not why I called you here. I require assistance.”
Chuck’s chest swells with pride at the sentence. “Of course, yeah. What do you need?”
“Aside from myself, you alone know how I came to be what I am.”
Castiel pauses as though he’s afraid of what he will say next.
“I want you to help me find a way to undo it.”
“Is that… I mean, you must think it’s possible or you wouldn’t ask, but…”
“I don’t know that it is possible. I hope that it is.”
“I’ll do whatever I can, you know I will. Where would you like me to start?”
“Ruby. I need you to do some research on Ruby. I can give you the names of her immediate family, perhaps some of her acquaintances. But I would like you to go through the city records and find out what you can. Find out what happened to her belongings after she died. At the time I simply did not care, but if it’s possible to trace her things… that would be the best place to start.”
Chuck nods. “Uh, yeah,” he says, mind turning over, wondering how in the hell he’s going to be able to do all this. “I can start that, for sure.”
“I would like to start researching myself, so I would like you to purchase me a computer and then instruct me in how to use the internet.”
Chuck blinks. This conversation is suddenly feeling quite surreal.
“And if I am to be able to purchase things, I will need a credit card.” Castiel says the word slowly, mouth forming around the foreign sounds. “This can be obtained through the bank, correct?”
“Yeah, uh, normally you have to go to them and set stuff up, but you probably have enough money that they’ll come to you. I can find out.”
“Excellent.”
“You don’t… I mean, you don’t want to be a vampire?” the words are out of his mouth before he can stop them. “It’s just… immortality and strength. Power.”
“I am an abomination of nature. The power and strength,” he waves his hand dismissively. “These are trivial things. They mean nothing. Immortality is… something I would not wish on an enemy. It’s a never ending slog toward a future where everyone you love, everything you know, falls away exhausted by the journey and you’re left alone, marching, watching the past rot behind you.”
“Oh, I… oh,” breathes Chuck lamely. “I thought… I thought maybe… because you’re so powerful, and my whole life I’ve just been Chuck Shurley, and no one really notices me, but people notice you. They want to be noticed by you and that’s… I never had that.”
Castiel pauses to considers his words. He doesn’t dismiss them immediately out of hand and Chuck feels surer about speaking out.
“I cannot ever be sure if people notice me or if they are noticing my otherness. Occasionally, people are drawn to my power, and I have struggled with remembering that they do not know me. They know nothing of me, and yet they will fall at my feet. It can be… misleading. And this ability came at a terribly price.”
“Do you think… do you think you can go back to normal?” Chuck waves his hands around. “I mean, separate from a cure.”
“It is a question I have asked myself many times. Can I go back, or will the knowledge of what I can become hang over me? I long for normalcy. I long for the simple things that other people do not even notice. The need to purchase food, the need for sleep. Above all, I do not wish to be alone. The very nature of what I am is a solitary creature. How can I ever truly have friends, family, a lover, if I am immortal and separate from everyone?”
Chuck fiddles with a stray thread from his jeans. “Yeah, I can understand that. I mean, obviously I’m not… because like I said, I’m just Chuck. Chuck Shurley, but… I… you’ve been really lonely for a long time. Haven’t you?” he gushes.
“Yes. I have.”
Chuck squares his shoulders. “Okay then. Let’s find a cure.”
Next Chapter - 13 - That Secret That You Know