Tell you about myself, if you're in the mood to listen

[zoeology]

Hello friends, family and random people who have stumbled across this by googling “irregularly updated blogs of dull nerds”.  I am asexual.

I had planned on doing this next month, since next month is National Coming Out Day.  But this week is Asexual Visibility Week, and to be honest I’d rather do this sooner than later and not have to have it

Comments

[foxfeather]

I know quite a few people who are asexual, and I know a lot of people don't consider it to be legitimate. I think that comes with anything people don't understand - they try to 'fix' it. Add in that a lot of seemingly asexual women are so from hormonal issues and/or traumatic events in the past and you get to the grey area of what is 'normal', how is it corrected etc. If it's not a problem to you, and your experience of the world, it's not a problem to be solved. :)
Thank you for your thoughtful insights into the subject!

[ithinkitisayit]

I kind of agree with this comment's mentioning on people wanting to "fix" it

[zoeology]

I think if a lack of sex drive is something causing distress then people should be entitled to try to fix it for themselves, but I don't see that 'fixing' should be extended to people who are indifferent to the whole thing. I should've mentioned, and it gets onto your arousal question, but I personally [to my knowledge at this point in time] don't have a sex drive of significance, in addition to my lack of attraction. I'm not repulsed by sex, just really indifferent and uninterested. Actually I'm pretty fine with other people being sexual, so long as it's all consensual and suchlike and people are fine with me being my way.

I agree that society is very sex focused though D: It's awkward a lot of the time. There was a good thing that I read or heard somewhere on AVEN, that society on the whole is a lot more comfortable with the idea that people will have a relationship which is about sex with no love, than it is about a relationship with love but no sex. Which seems a fair point from the conversations I've had :P

[ithinkitisayit]

There was a good thing that I read or heard somewhere on AVEN, that society on the whole is a lot more comfortable with the idea that people will have a relationship which is about sex with no love, than it is about a relationship with love but no sex. Which seems a fair point from the conversations I've had :P
YES! That actually puts it into better words than I had

orangemoon11 = Caitlin

[orangemoon11]

What you're arguing is perfectly plausible and is just as normal a state as any other type of sexuality that exists out there including the standard divisions [hetero/homo/bi].

I will shamefully confess to not knowing it was a real thing; I feel woefully uneducated and rather silly. Regardless, it seems strange to me that anyone would question it. I wouldn't think it would be impossible to relate to, but then again, I may be in a minority. I've been on anti-depressants for years and years, and they effectively crush my libido. I still have the sex and enjoy the sex, but actual sexual attraction is a rare gem. Also, as you pointed out, you're TWENTY-ONE YEARS OLD. You say things like "you might outgrow that" to your child of perhaps six who says boys/girls are yucky. You are, in actual fact, an adult and the foremost authority on Zoe.

Re: orangemoon11 = Caitlin

[zoeology]

Well asexuality's not very well known at all, so you shouldn't feel silly. I wouldn't've heard of it if I hadn't accidentally stumbled over that stamp. Which is really why I make a bit of noise about it every once in a while...normalising non-heterosexual orientations is a thing that I consider quite important, because if people realised that there is a huge spectrum of normal there would be a lot less people with silly anxieties over the whole issue. I haven't had it too hard, but I could've lived without the insecurity.

But again, thank you for the support :D It's nice, especially considering that most people I know from the real world have gone straight for those cliches when I've tried to explain in the past.

And I am indeed the foremost authority on the rare Zoeius dorkei , even if it is a bit of a dull thing to be an authority on :P

[jumpthesnark]

Congratulations on coming out! If I was in Sydney I would bake you a cake. :D

[zoeology]

Omnomnom cake :D Thanks Mill, it means a lot.

I've got a friend who's going up to Brisbane for the weekend...I'm very jealous of her :(

[zoeology]

Really? Why?

I have a friend who says this, and as a romantic asexual I can't for the life of me see why. She says it's because asexuals aren't distracted by crushes and a desire to be with people, but that's not what it's like to be me at all. I agonise over crushes as much as a sexual person would (I imagine). But in addition to those feelings I am alienated from my peers because of my inability to relate to the attraction they feel towards other people and am faced with the daunting prospect of trying to make people understand that there is nothing wrong with me, this is just the way I am.

It is easier to be straight, there is nothing enviable about being asexual :)

[zoeology]

Mm, I'll give you that one :D I've often thought that I'd make quite a good religious Christian if it weren't for the raging atheism :B I'm not a great Jew because chicken in cream sauce is so good (there are other reasons, but I'm happy to say that cheese+meat is the main one :D). That "you think it, you've essentially done it" upgrade from Judaism is a killer though D