Netiquette PSA
I have this friend. S/he is tall, short, fat, skinny, real life, 'net only - in other words, an amalgam of people. S/he is all of us. If you think you recognize yourself in this, you're probably right. But you aren't alone. We're all part of it, to a greater or lesser extent.
Anyway, this friend is a wonderful, witty, loving person. Smart, charismatic, funny, charming.
And every once in a while this friend does something so outrageously rude, obnoxious, fool-hardy, or just plain stupid, that I am completely rocked back on my heels, slack-jawed that anyone I regard so highly could do such a thing, whether that thing is to me or to another person, or to hirself.
And then I remember that everyone is human. In the wise words of a very good friend, "Never assign evil intent when stupidity will explain things just as well."
I keep seeing people get really bent out of shape by the humanness of other people. And it makes me hurt for them. If you go around with a chip on your shoulder, people will bumble into you and knock it off accidentally. Don't start from the assumption that it was on purpose or you may start a fight that frustrates the daylights out of you. Because the "guilty" party will claim complete innocence - with all sincerity. And then battle lines will get drawn over something trivial and pretty soon it's the Jets and the Sharks and "choose whose side you're on."
That's avoidable, much of the time - most of the time when you take the trolls out of the equation. Most people really do mean well.
However.
There is a correllary to this. If you find yourself continually in the middle of such upheavals, if you say things in your journal like, "wow, it seems I can't open my mouth in a community without it creating trouble!" and you are still protesting your victimhood?
Step up to the cluebat and take your licks. It's you.
Anyway, this friend is a wonderful, witty, loving person. Smart, charismatic, funny, charming.
And every once in a while this friend does something so outrageously rude, obnoxious, fool-hardy, or just plain stupid, that I am completely rocked back on my heels, slack-jawed that anyone I regard so highly could do such a thing, whether that thing is to me or to another person, or to hirself.
And then I remember that everyone is human. In the wise words of a very good friend, "Never assign evil intent when stupidity will explain things just as well."
I keep seeing people get really bent out of shape by the humanness of other people. And it makes me hurt for them. If you go around with a chip on your shoulder, people will bumble into you and knock it off accidentally. Don't start from the assumption that it was on purpose or you may start a fight that frustrates the daylights out of you. Because the "guilty" party will claim complete innocence - with all sincerity. And then battle lines will get drawn over something trivial and pretty soon it's the Jets and the Sharks and "choose whose side you're on."
That's avoidable, much of the time - most of the time when you take the trolls out of the equation. Most people really do mean well.
However.
There is a correllary to this. If you find yourself continually in the middle of such upheavals, if you say things in your journal like, "wow, it seems I can't open my mouth in a community without it creating trouble!" and you are still protesting your victimhood?
Step up to the cluebat and take your licks. It's you.