Title. All is well
Author. Zee
Pairing. --
Rating. G
Word Count. 410
Summary. The family was all together. All is well.
Warnings. This is bitter shit.
Disclaimer. The text is mine, the characters in which they were inspired are not.
Author Notes. I don't know, whatever.
She can’t help but feel like she’s been punched in her stomach whenever the family was all together. Most of the time it felt like she was being eaten from the inside, like her body was trying to make her disappear - and it wasn’t like she hadn’t wished it many times before.
There was nothing to be done, of course. Everybody was happy - or at least pretended they were - and everything was finally all right again. Which was probably why she felt like she was dying inside whenever she looked at them, at her.
They had done everything as was expected of them after the war. They helped rebuild Hogwarts, married shortly after that - a double marriage, of all things - and had kids a while later. On that note, she can’t deny that, to some extent, she’s been happy; she may not love him, but she’ll be forever grateful for the children he’s helped her raise.
And yes, okay, maybe it was a one-sided infatuation; maybe she had always been seen as a sister and a friend, and nothing else. But she can’t help but remember the furtive glances, the secretive smiles, the playful little kicks under the table; a hand running through her hair, a mouth saying how pretty she is.
She wants to hate her, but instead ends up hating herself - for what she’s done to him and for what she knows she didn’t do enough for her family. She knows she’s the only one to blame - because, really, did she ever think another woman would love her back? A woman who was also part of the family nonetheless.
Her feelings were her own, and even if they weren’t, it could never be. She knew that, too, which only made things even more bittersweet. Or just plain bitter, given the way her stomach felt knotted. It made her feel hungry and sad and mad; made her feel like punching walls and screaming until her lungs felt sore. It even made her feel like hurting herself sometimes - but she never had the courage, how would she explain to him, to them?
No, she suffered quietly. Like she always had and, she knew, always would. Because who would say that she wasn’t happy? Who would question her infatuations? No, they couldn’t even see it - well, maybe she could. And maybe one day she would ask, and would receive lies as an answer.
All is fine, the family was all together.